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I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.

You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.

You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.

You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.

And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.

Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.

That’s what’s wrong with PHP.

Comments
  • 9
    I get your point, but the house comparison is wrong for me. At the end of the day, PHP has been used to construct some viable, reliable, perfectly predictable, solid, fit-for-purpose "houses" that have delivered results for their owners/construction companies.

    Not saying it couldn't have been done easier and cheaper with better tools, but you get there in the end.
  • 5
  • 0
    @alwaysmpe and its from 2012.
  • 9
    Its like a Windows hater basing all their arguments on Windows 95. Its fucking 2017. PHP 7.1 ....it's paid my mortgage, holidays, cars, kid, for more than 12 years. I really don' t give a fuck how shit you think it is.
  • 3
    @alwaysmpe Hmm. Hadn't realised that. @playmast3r - posting other's content without appropriate credit is poor form.
  • 1
    Maybe you just don't know how to pick the right tools for the job.
  • 0
    @Letmecode you shouldn't, but no one uses assembly anymore right?
  • 0
    @AlmightyBaka I don't know if that was sarcasm or not nor if I missed some point but I will just link this: http://stackoverflow.blog/2017/02/...
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