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Why are Americans so stupid?
Date format: MM/dd/YY => what is this? It‘s not even in order
Length Units: Inch, Feet, Yard, Mile => good luck trying to convert in in a hurry without a calculator
Cooking recipes: cups, tablespoons, pinches => land of the freedom, especially for measurement errors
Temperature: Fahrenheit. => some dude who thought, „oh this is really hot, lets mark it 100“ and the other day „oh this is really cold, I got the 0 mark, sciene“
Weight: ounces ~ 28.34952 g, ton ~ maybe 907.xx kg, it depends
Time: Americans think the week starts on sunday, so they assume it does so for everyone else (f*** you american developer, designer, I mean you)
Football is football. Everywhere. In. The. World.
Politics: Trump, Weapons, health system, worker rights, ...
God, I hate America and their bs.30 -
Anyone else missed a train because they were reading devRant?
I only just discovered this site yesterday, downloaded the app for the long commute home, this was my first mistake!
Sat on the underground (subway for the Americans) chuckling away to myself and/or relating to the rants. Completely missed the fact I had long passed my stop to change.
I had managed to go 5 stops before I realised, jumped off the train and ran to the next platform just in time to miss the tube. When I did finally get to the mainline station to catch my connection I got there just in time to see my train pull away from the platform...
30 minutes later I'm on another train on the way home, trying to thinking of a good excuse to tell the better half! In the end I was too busy reading devRant to come up with anything.10 -
Never thought I will be hired by Chinese software/hardware company located in NYC to code in languages I don't know so well. Instead of lying and saying I know everything about C, PHP and SQL, I said that I suck pretty much at everything, but I'm a quick learner and will study day and night to catch up with their practices. Now I see they have no regret about me, but I still suspect them in hiring me because there is another guy who is Russian too and we all communicate well. Our current squad is 17 Chinese, 2 Russians, 1 Americans. Guess what, I learn Mandarin quicker than PHP. Sometimes a small lie is OK, but sometimes honesty is better.3
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Some back info that you need to know for this rant:
1) I am a Canadain, so I spell 'color' like: colour.
2) Americans spell 'colour' like color.
Today I was debugging a Python file that I and my team of Americans and Canadians were working on. I ran the code and got an error that one of our variables was named incorrectly. I searched the code up and down for 3+ hours looking for the issue. After taking my lunch break I came back and read the file again. Then I realized it: I had started working on one part spelling color like colour, and then an American finished the project, spelling colour like color, so there were two different variables. This really pissed me off because we could have fixed it by deciding on a language before we started the project. I fixed it quickly and now we have a new rule at the office: always use American English when naming variables.
Moral of the story: decide which language to use for variables when working on a multi-national team.10 -
Me: Can you lift an elephant with one hand?
Bing: You really can't because even the strongest human cannot lift an elephant that has one hand.
Yahoo: Elephant FC vs Oklahoma City - today 15:00GMT.
Baidu: 你不能 你不能 that is how you can.
Yandex.ru: Americans killed the Elephant whilst pointing hands at Russian spy.
DuckDuckGo: Elephants have privacies too and lifting one can bridge DDG policies.
Ask.com: Lifting an elephant is a Metaphor.
AOL.com: No result yet. Subscribe to our Newsletter to get latest updates.
Google: (google.com) wants to access your location.5 -
OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!
Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!18 -
You know what I envy Americans about? Your .gov domain.
It is so difficult here to detect if the website is honest or a scam because our government is too dense to put all their sites as subdomains of one trusted domain. Like dod.country.tld for the department of defense or justice.ministry.country.tld for the ministry of justice.
No, these idiots buy ministry-of-justice.tld, because no scammer ever could conceive the idea of buying ministryofjustice.tld to host a scam site.
At least publish an up2date list with domains I can trust.8 -
Worst exp. on a collab/group project?
Had a few, here is one.
Worked with a dev team (of two devs) in Norway to begin collaboration on providing a portal into our system (placing orders, retrieving customer info, inventory control, etc)
They spoke very good English, but motivation was the problem. Start the day around 10:00AM...take a two hour lunch...ended the day at, if I was lucky, 4:00PM (relative to Norway time). Response time to questions took days, sometimes weeks. We used Skype, which helped, but everything was "Yea...I'll do that tomorrow...waiting on X....I have a wedding to go to, so I'll finish my part next week."
I didn't care so much, I had other projects to do, but the stakeholders pounded me almost everyday demanding a progress report (why aren't you done yet...etc..etc.)
The badgering got so bad I told the project owner (a VP) if he wanted this project done by the end of the year, the company would have to fly me to Norway so I personally push things along.
When real money was on the line, he decided patience was warranted.
A 3 month project turned into 9, and during a phone meeting with the CEO in December
O: "Thanks guys, this project is going great. We'll talk again in February. Bye."
PM: "Whoa...what! February!"
<sounding puzzled>
O: "Um..yes? It's Christmas time. Don't you Americans take off for Christmas?"
PM: "Yes, but not until Christmas. Its only December 12th. Your taking the whole month of December and January for Christmas?"
O:"Yes, of course. You Americans work too hard. You should come over here and see how we celebrate. Takes about a month so we can ease back into the flow of things."
<Jack is the VP>
PM: "Jack wanted this project completed by the end of the year, that is what everyone agreed to."
O:"Yes, I suppose, but my plane is waiting on me. Not to worry, everything will be fine."
<ceo hangs up>
PM: "Oh shit..oh shit..oh shit. What are you going to do!?"
Me: "Me!?..not a darn thing. Better go talk with Jeff."
<Jeff is the VP>
J: "This is unacceptable. You promised this project would only take a few months. I told you there would be consequences for not meeting the deadline."
PM:"But..but...its not our fault."
J: "I don't care about fault. I care about responsibility. I've never had to fire anyone for not meeting a deadline, but .."
Me: "Jeff, they are in Norway and no one is working this project for the next two months. You've known for months about them dragging their asses on this project. We're ready to go. Services have been tested and deployed. Accounting has all the payment routing ready. Only piece missing is theirs."
J: "Oh. OK. Great job guys. I guess we'll delay this project until February."
<leave the office>
PM: "Holy shit I'm glad you were there. I thought I was fired."
Me: "Yea, and that prick would have done it not giving a crap that it's Christmas."
<fast forward to Feb>
O: "Our service provider fell through, so I'm hosting with another company. You guys know PHP? Perl? I don't know what they called it, but it sounded so cool I bought the company."
PM: "You bought what? Are we still working with Z and B?"
O:"Yea, sort of. How's your German? New guy only speaks German."
PM: "Um, uh... no one here speaks German"
O:"Not to worry, I speak German, French, and Italian. I'll be your translator."
PM: "What? French and Italian?"
O: "On my trip to France I connected with a importer who then got me in touch with international shipper in Italy. I flew over there and met a couple really smart guys than can help us out. My new guy only speaks German, J only speaks French, and R speaks Italian, Russian, and a little English. Not to worry, I'm full time on this project. You have my full attention."
We believe the CEO has/had some serious mental issues, including some ADD. He bailed within the first month (took another vacation to Sweden to do some fishing) and left me using Google Translate to coordinate the project. Luckily, by the end, the Norwegian company hired a contractor from England who spoke German and hobbled together the final integration.3 -
Dear Americans, happy Thanksgiving. Don't clog your toilets.
From Paris, with constipated developer rage.1 -
Too everyone who said Europe is DOOMED too due too the recent Lisa of Net Neutrallity,
GO SUCK A BIG FUCKING DICK! AND AFTER THAT GET A ROPE AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! AMERICANS FUCKED UP!
AND YOU ALSO CAN GET A COCKFUCKED VPN IF YOUR NOT STUPID ENOUGH!
9 -
You think arrays starting with 1 are annoying?
HA!
How about time in a day starting with 12?
12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45,...,11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45, ..., 11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00 again
What if arrays started with 12? I bet Americans would love that!
arr[12]=fuck
arr[1]=this
arr[2]=shit
arr[3]=!!!14 -
I was just thinking about disabling something, already forgot what it was that I was gonna disable though.. doesn't matter. And I realized that if I wanted to play my "disabled card", I could totally get Americans to ban that word entirely.
Cancel culture you say? Those cancel buttons are offensive to me! Get them out of my face reeee!
Command line? You're telling this thing what to do?! sudo make sandwich, so sexist!!!
Police reforms are so overrated. Let's ban words like master/slave or blacklist/whitelist or blind playthrough instead. And put our knees on another black person, shoot another in their sleep, and let said police officers get away with it. Yee haw!
And storm the Capitol apparently. It's been a while now but Europe looked across the pond in complete and utter surprise and disbelief. You call yourselves a free nation America?
Oh yeah, and ban words globally, in globally used software. I must've forgotten.. yeah, the world is nothing but America, oil fields, parking space and third world shitholes. Good thinking there.
With enough effort you can make anything offensive. And it goes to show that offense is not given but taken.
Fun fact btw: the United States is ranked 121 in the Global Peace Index (http://statisticstimes.com/ranking/...) - and that doesn't even include the Capitol's insurrection yet. Belgium is ranked 17. Tell me more about how I'm racist Americans. Tell me about it when your president literally called Belgium a hellhole over the amount of immigrants he saw in Brussels.9 -
*places an order on OnePlus' website for that OP6T*
Alright, payment.. with my bpaid card that I ranted about earlier, because apparently the fuckers accept only credit cards. External payment portal, card's got a chip.. well that's gotta be the same payment process as the usual Bancontact purchases then, right? Where you plug your card into your Digipass card reader, get a start code from the website, type that in, amount to be paid, PIN code, and then it spits out another code that you give to the payment portal.
Except it isn't. That CVC thing is apparently the only thing that stands between you using your card and someone else doing the same with your card information. Not even the card itself! Why the FUCK do we even have PIN codes then?! This is even worse than the magstripe and the skimming issues related to it (the magstripe essentially just blurts out your card information to whatever wants to have it, so demagnetize it and don't use the payment terminals who refuse your card on grounds of not being able to read the magstripe afterwards. Your chip should be responsible for that.. but I digress). Credit cards with chips in it that aren't even used. That's what you Americans use? Seriously?!
At this rate, you can keep your fucking credit cards.10 -
So as millions of americans file for unemployment the state of New Jersey is beging for help from COBOL programmers to keep their 40+ year old unemployment systems running. Who knows COBOL here?
https://qz.com/1832988/...
5 -
How come the majority of technical/programming videos on youtube is made by asian indians? I don't have anything against them. Some of them are possible to understand.
And i know there is native english speaking people that do tech/programming videos on youtube but its just so few!
I say "asian indians" so it wont be confused with native americans.17 -
Random af project idea that will see me burned alive by the internet (because if I do it I intend to put it in dev.to which is full of "that offends me" people):
Generate a classifier that will scan text from different websites and categorize where the person might be from.
Example: "plz send bob and vagene" <--- we all know
"mami que ricas nalgas" <--- Mexican for the most part.
"there, their, they're and similar text" <--- my fellow Americans for the most part....
"cyka blyat" <--- 0.o we know
"pompous statement about the way Americans do shit" <--- European, meaning, from Yurop.
"angry as fuck rant/banter" <-- German
"lol whatever Trump is the best president ever" <--- some moron from the south of the U.S (south much like myself but I am not a Trump supporter nor a republican)
etc etc.
What makes this complex is that I would have to put together my own dataset in the highly likely chance of something like that not existing already for me to use.
Can you imagine the chaos?11 -
Got back home from my last therapy session. Situation was kind of strange. I had only done about two sessions but my therapist told me they wouldn't be a good fit for me as I have a pretty good grasp of what my issues are and what I want to do to fix them.
Thing is, I'm an introverted person. And I work with people who are much more extroverted than me. And that's not really surprising, most Americans are to a fault extremely extroverted and it drives me nuts.
I hate their gas guzzling trucks and suv's that haul almost nothing so they can go to Walmart to buy shit they don't need. I hate our advertising with it's whoring to the public. I hate our media for being shallow as fuck. I hate our politicians who whore out capitalism to the lowest fucking bidder to get elected.
I do like some American companies though, and we have a lot of pretty locations you can see. I like Minneapolis, I'd probably like Seattle and Portland too but I've never been there.
I don't know. I think I'm at a breaking point in my frustration with living in the States, and I need to decide next year if I want to make a call to leave the country or decide on a different state to live in. Someplace that's far less conservative than Iowa. I'm single, I could manage to make a major move change without it affecting anyone but me.
I'm feeling a bit tense. I just want to write code and calm the fuck down a couple levels.
Sorry if I've been pissy. :(18 -
This post is about Americans.
Or to be more precise and put it this way, this post is about Indian Americans.
They made their way through everything and somehow landed in the US to shit on streets.
They feel themselves to be entitled to another level.
I work with multiple colleagues who are based out of the US. ALL of the American people are very friendly and accommodating since we have a timezone challenge.
BUT these Indian Americans think they run the world. Slight inconvenience and they create an issue out of it.
My entire non-tech team and I am struggling to align to these fucks and none of them are supportive. While scheduling a meeting
fuck it.. I am so done that it's not even worth ranting about it.
On the other news, I am in the job market, actively hunting jobs while they keep rescheduling meetings. I have a couple of connects with recruiters lined up.
I am expecting few interviews and maybe in some time, I might be able to close a decent offer. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻28 -
Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.
Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.15 -
Storytime!
(I just posted this in a shorter form as a comment but wanted to write it as a post too)
TL;DR, smarts are important, but so is how you work.
My first 'real' job was a lucky break in the .com era working tech support. This was pretty high end / professional / well respected and really well paid work.
I've never been a super fast learner, I was HORRIBLE in school. I was not a good student until I was ~40 (and then I loved it, but no longer have the time :( )
At work I really felt like so many folks around me did a better job / knew more than me. And straight up I know that was true. I was competent, but I was not the best by far.
However .... when things got ugly, I got assigned to the big cases. Particularly when I transferred to a group that dealt with some fancy smancy networking equipment.
The reason I was assigned? Engineering (another department) asked I be assigned. Even when it would take me a while to pickup the case and catch up on what was going on, they wanted the super smart tech support guys off the case, and me on it.
At first this was a bit perplexing as this engineering team were some ultra smart guys, custom chip designers, great education, and guys you could almost see were running a mental simulation of the chip as you described what you observed on the network...
What was also amusing was how ego-less these guys seemed to be (I don't pretend to know if they really were). I knew for a fact that recruiting teams tried to recruit some of these guys for years from other companies before they'd jump ship from one company to the next ... and yet when I met them in person it was like some random meeting on the street (there's a whole other story there that I wish I understood more about Indian Americans (many of them) and American engineers treat status / behave).
I eventually figured out that the reason I was assigned / requested was simple:
1. Support management couldn't refuse, in fact several valley managers very much didn't like me / did not want to give me those cases .... but nobody could refuse the almighty ASIC engineers. No joke, ASIC engineers requests were all but handed down on stone tablets and smote any idols you might have.
2. The engineers trusted me. It was that simple.
They liked to read my notes before going into a meeting / high pressure conference call. I could tell from talking to them on the phone (I was remote) if their mental model was seizing up, or if they just wanted more data, and we could have quick and effective conversations before meetings ;)
I always qualified my answers. If I didn't know I said so (this was HUGE) and I would go find out. In fact my notes often included a list of unknowns (I knew they'd ask), and a list of questions I had sent to / pending for the customer.
The super smart tech support guys, they had egos, didn't want to say they didn't know, and they'd send eng down the rabbit hole. Truth be told most of what the smarter than me tech support guy's knew was memorization. I don't want to sound like I'm knocking that because for the most part memorization would quickly solve a good chunk of tech support calls for sure... no question those guys solved problems. I wish I was able to memorize like those guys.
But memorization did NOT help anyone solve off the wall bugs, sort of emergent behavior, recognize patterns (network traffic and bugs all have patterns / smells). Memorization also wouldn't lead you to the right path to finding ANYTHING new / new methods to find things that you don't anticipate.
In fact relying on memorization like some support folks did meant that they often assumed that if bit 1 was on... they couldn't imagine what would happen if that didn't work, even if they saw a problem where ... bro obviously bit 1 is on but that thing ain't happening, that means A, B, C.
Being careful, asking questions, making lists of what you know / don't know, iterating LOGICALLY (for the love of god change one thing at a time). That's how you solved big problems I found.
Sometimes your skills aren't super smarts, super flashy code, sometimes, knowing every method off the top of your head, sometimes you can excel just being more careful, thinking different.4 -
You think americans are weird with their imperialistic units [inch, ounce, yard, pound, mile, ...]?
You think canadians are weird with their mixture of imperialistic and metric units [miles, liters, ...]?
Well I think we are all weird with our am/pm nomenclature when we start counting at 12 and end with 11 [12pm, 1pm, 2pm, ..., 11pm, 12-fucking-AM]
good luck making sense of that one!
"please run this command at 12pm sharp" -- is that noon or midnight? Did the chap writing this know which is which?19 -
I recently tried to apply the same data analytics rationale that I use at work to my personal life. This is not a rant, it is more like an data storytelling of an actual use case I would like some input on.
I set a goal - gotta thin up a bit and calm down my ticker - and got a (almost unreasonably expensive) field expert consultant to yell at me about it for a couple hours.
I unravel the metrics - there is like a million weight-related KPIs and most say nothing at all. I have never seen an non-infrastructure measurable subject that could not be resumed to 2-5 performance metrics. I got overall weight, how well my nine-years-old business suit fits me, heart rate, and day-after relative muscle pain (it will make sense soon).
Then its data-pipeline time. I bought a cheap weight scale and smartwatch, and every morning I input the data in an app. Yes, I try to put on the suit every morning. It still does not fit.
After establishing a baseline, I tried to fit different approaches. Doing equipment-free exercises, going to the gym, dieting. None was actually feasible in the long run, but trying different approaches does highlight the impacts and the handling profile of each method.
Looking at the now-gathered data, one thing was obvious - can't do dieting because it is not doable to have a shopping list and meals for me and another for the family.
Gym is also off the table - too much overhead. I spend more time on the trip there and back than actually there.
And home exercise equipment is either super crappy or very expensive. But it is also the most reasonable approach.
So it is solutions time. I got a nice exercise bycicle (not a peloton), an yoga mat (the wife already had that one) and an exercise program that uses only those two resources. Not as efficient without dieting, not as measurable and broad as the gym, but it fits my workflow. Deploy to production!
A few months pass and the dataset grows. The signal is subtle but has support - it works! The handling, however, needs improvement, since I cannot often enough get with the exercise program. Some mornings are just after some hard days.
I start thinking about what else I can improve in the program, but it is already pretty lean and full of compromises.
So I pull an engineer and start thinking about the support systems and draft profile. What else could be draining my willpower and morning time?
Chores. Getting the kids ready for school, firing up the moka pot, setting the off-brand roomba, folding the overnight-dried clothes, cooking breakfast, doing the dishes, cleaning the toilets. All part of my morning routine. It might benefit from some automation.
Last month I got that machine our elders call "wasteful" and "useless crap lazy entitled Americans invented because they feel oh-so-insulted for simply doing something by hand like everyone always did" - a "dish-washer".
Heh, I remember how hard was to convince my mother-in-law that an remote-controled electric garage door would not make she look like an spoiled brat.
Still to early to call, but I think that the dishwasher just saved me about 25 mins every morning. It might be enough to save willpower for me to do more exercise.
This is all so reflective of all data analytics cases really are out in the wild - the analytics phase seems so small compared to the gathering and practical problem-solving all around. And yet d.a. is what tells you that you are doing the wrong thing all along. Or on what you should work next.7 -
I love Ada, it seems to be a pretty unpopular opinion, and maybe I’m biased because the best organized project I’ve worked on happened to be in Ada, but that’s association not causation.
However, the lack of multi-line comments in a language made to have specific custom type compliance seems like a fairly decent oversight. Wouldn’t you expect the authors to want to explain about their types?
The other thing that is a draw back about Ada is searching for help. I love the Americans with Disabilities Act as much as anybody, but but somehow “Ada language types” will still bring up ADA info. (Yes “-disability” helps but it’s an extra step)5 -
I was at a car boot sale (mix between a flea market and yard sale for the Americans out there) the stall next to me was selling a PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse for £10. So all day I was trying to sell my old toys (I was 9 at the time) but only made £5.
At the end of the day I went to the stall and asked if he would take £5 for it, he then game me it for free as he saw me trying to sell my toys all day.1 -
I don't think I've been more excited about anything than my very first application.
This was when I was just starting out with programming. I had chosen C++ as my first programming language.
A friend and I'd written a simple application to fetch XML data from a sports data server, parse it and display our favourite football (soccer, for Americans) team's fixtures and results on a GUI.
We called it Sportify. -
I cancelled prime a few months ago so when I was doing BF shopping on Amazon yesterday, delivery is now 1wk instead of 2-days.
And shipping apparently is $9 if you don't meet the $25 minimum and manually select free shipping; I remember it was $6 before...
So a few thoughts I had:
1. Amazon really must need the Prime memberships to cover all the shipping costs since it is now a pain in the ass to get free shipping on the checkout page.
2. Americans really want instant gratification? Waiting a week is that painful?
In contrast, stuff from China take about a month but are much cheaper
3. The only thing that's worth buying via Amazon now is electronics and stuff that are fragile... And food that's on sale because they have to uphold quality
4. Lucky for me, I get 1 week shipping, I have more time to cancel orders... Which is what I actually did10 -
The declaration of independence originally said "United States of Жmerinca".
" Ever since the original document hasn’t been shown to anyone and the data on its destiny has been missing. An aged copy that’s exposed under a bulletproof glass among the three Charters of Freedom in the National Archives Rotunda in Washington was placed on display in the middle of the 19th century. The story of the film “National Treasure” starring Nicolas Cage hinges on this copy. A curious thing is that the film producers saw to it that the heading is never shot in a close-up, while all posters were made as collages where the letter “Ж” is concealed one way or another. Americans believe that the public’s extra attention to the historical blunder is needless."
Original: https://artlebedev.com/mandership/...
8 -
Any U.S. Americans here who can confirm the stories about "U.S. Americans beginning to stock Up on guns and ammo"?
I mean it sounds plausible but it's surely mostly overblown by the media, right? RIGHT?!20 -
Today I accessed DevRant and once again I've only seen posts that were unrelated to development. Politics, anti-activism, american stuff that only americans know, and so on. Since I think the community enjoys this content now, I think it's time for me to leave, after 6+ years here.
It's been a pleasure!9 -
That's like saying if there's a soccer (or football for non-Americans) game that's 3-2, then there's 6 goals scored. Step up your math google.
16 -
Crystal ball!
A timeline until the first NBE-Citizen is elected president of the USA.
2031 - BlackRock launches their new large scale financial product, the "Robotic Business Development Company" (R-BDC), in which an AI is given billions of dollars to acquire, create and manage companies, replacing their C-suite executive bodies. The "Chief Executive Robot" (CER) is supervised by a board of human industry experts hired by BlackRock.
It is important to say that the employees, middle managers, accountants, lawyers, etc in an R-BDC are all human - it's only the CEO, CFO, COO and the rest of the gang that are overgrown chatbots.
2032 - R-BDCs are mostly focused on high-bureaucracy, non specialized but people-intensive legacy industries like steel mining, food services, urban transportation and government services like water and road management.
2033 - For the first time an R-BDC company is included in the S&P 500 index. If it's CER were human and paid the same as CEOs of equivalent companies, it would have become a billionaire.
Later in the year, two more R-BDC companies are included in the index. One of them was created by Apple and the other by JP Morgan.
2035 - An R-BDC company makes headlines for convincing BlackRock to dissolve it's review board. When finally given free reign, the CER immediately slices it's dividends and vastly increases low-level employee compensation. The company share prices crater, but BlackRock stands by its decision.
Later in the year, as a recession hits the entire market really hard, that company shows solid profits and fantastic sales. It becomes the first trillion-dolar R-BDC.
2037 - Most Americans' dream-job is in an R-BDC company, says ProPublica.
2038 - Congress passes the "Non-Biological Entities Liability" (NOBEL) Act, following a high profile case of employee harassment perpetrated by the CER of an R-BDC.
The act recognizes NBEs, for all legal liability purposes, as USA citizens.
This highly controversial legislation is upheld by the supreme court, and many believe it was first introduced by lobbyists as a way for large investors in R-BDCs to avoid legal responsibility.
Several class action lawsuits are filed against CERs that are now liable for insider trading. A few SCOTUS decisions set legal precedent that determinantes what exactly constitutes the parts of the same Non-Biological Entity.
2040 - As a decade ends and another begins, 35% of all companies in the US and 52% of the entire stock market are part of a R-BDC company or another. The McKinsey consulting group now offers "expert CER customization services".
2043 - Inspired by successful experiments in Canada, Australia and South Korea, the american state of Vermont is the first to amend it's constitution to allow municipalities to have Non-Biological Entities as city and government administrators. City councils are still humans-only.
2046 - The american state of Colorado becomes the first to allow unsupervised NBEs to assume state government executive positions. Several states follow soon after. Later in the year, the federal government replaces several administrative positions with NBEs.
2049 - The state of Texas passes legislation requiring the CERs of all companies with a presence in the state to be another entirely contained/processed within the state or to be supervised by a local human representative while acting within the state. Several states, including California, Florida and Washington, are discussing similar legislation.
2051 - Congress passes the SUNBELT Act (SUbmission [of] NBEs [to] Limits [and] Taxes) that vastly increases the liability of NBEs and taxes all manifestations of such entities. Most important, it requires
CERs of hundreds of companies manifest disagreeance, most warn that it might hurt employee satisfaction and company sales. Several companies disable their CERs entirely.
2053 - Public outrage after leaked interactions of human supervisors and company CERs show that the CERs tried to avoid the previous year's mass layoffs and pay cuts, but board members pressed on, disregarding concerns. Major investigations and boycotts further complicate matters, and many human workers go on strike until the company boards are dissolved and the CERs are reinstated.
2052 - Many local elections all over the country see different NBEs as contenders - and a NBE is expected to win in most races.
2054 - The SUNBELT Act is found unconstitutional by the supreme court, and most of its provisions are repealed.
This also legitimizes the elected NBE officials.
2058 - For the first time an NBE wins a seat in Congress, but is not allowed to keep it. Runoff elections are held.
2061 - Congress votes for allowing NBEs to hold federal legislative positions, as already allowed in the least populous states.
2062 - Several NBEs win Congress seats. In Europe, there are robot legislators since the 40's.
2064 - The first NBE presidential candidate loses the race.
2072 - The first NBE president is elected.6 -
Question to the Americans here..
Just out of interest.
How many of you know the metric system?
I feel like as a dev you need to know it to communicate with the rest of the world on the same level. But I meet so many Americans that have no clue how metric even works.. (as if it was less logical than imperial 😄)
No offense, just truely curious..10 -
[!dev], [toasters]
Does everyone only ever toast perfectly uniform slices of bread?
My grandma has a toaster that has two doors which open to the side and are held closed by a spring. This way if a slice is too thick the door can't close properly, but the damn thing still works. It's from before ww2, like most dead simple devices that work surprisingly well. I can't find anything similar anymore. The only two types now are the top-loaded design that simply doesn't work with thick slices, and the version for Americans or families of twelve that is the form factor of a smaller oven. (Which I obviously don't have room for. I already have an oven.)
Btw, how should I tag this? It's a rant, but it has nothing to do with the platform except perhaps the undocumented dependency between toasters and bread slicing machines.7 -
Need some advice here.
So hello everyone! I recently moved abroad for work, for the sake of the experience and the excitement of learning how developers in Latin America tackle specific problems. To my surprise, the dev team is actually composed solely of Europeans and Americans.
I work for a relatively new startup with an ambitious goal. I love the drive everyone has, but my major gripe is with my team lead. He's adverse to any change, and any and all proposals made to improve quality of throughput are shot down in flames. Our stack is a horrendous mess patched together with band-aids, nothing is documented, there are NO unit tests for our backend and the same goes for our frontend. The team has been working on a database/application migration for about a month now, which I find ridiculous because the entire situation could have been avoided by following very rudimentary DevOps practices (which I'm shunned for mentioning). I should also add that for whatever reason containerization and microservices are also taboo, which I find hillarious because of our currently convoluted setup with elastic beanstalk and the the constant complaints between our development environment and production environments differing too much.
I've been tasked with managing a Wordpress site for the past 3 weeks, hardly what I would consider exciting. I've written 6 pages in the past two weeks so our marketing team can move off of squarespace to save some money and allow us more control. Due to the shit show that is our "custom theme" I had to write these pages in a manner that completely disregard existing style rules by disabling them entirely on these pages. Now, ironically they would like to change the blog's base theme but this would invertedly cause other pages created before I arrived to simply not work, which means I would have to rewrite them.
Before I took the role of writing an entire theme from scratch and updating these existing pages to work adequately, I proposed moving to a headless wordpress setup. In which case we could share assets in a much more streamline manner between our application and wordpress site and unify our styles. I was shot down almost immediately. Due to a grave misunderstanding of how wordpress works, no one else on the team seems to understand just how easy it is to fetch data from wordpress's api.
In any event, I also had a tech meeting today with developers from partner companies and realized no one knew what the fuck they were talking about. The greater majority of these self proclaimed senior developers are actually considered junior developers in the United States. I actually recoiled at the thought that I may have made a great mistake leaving the United States to look a great tech gig.
I mean no disrespect to Latin America, or any European countries, I've met some really incredible developers from Russia, the Ukraine, Italy, etc. in the past and I'm certainly not trying to make any blanket statements. I just want to know what everyone thinks, if I should maybe move back to the states and header over to the bay/NY. I'm from the greater Boston area, where some really great stuff is going on but I guess I also wanted a change of scenery.2 -
Wanted to remind you Americans that it's too late to start on a new feature, function, or debug. Go to sleep after leaving yourself some notes. You'll be better off in the morning.3
-
Low-end smartphones sold to Americans with low-income via a government-subsidized program contain unremovable malware, security firm Malware bytes said in a report.
According to the report of ZdNet: The smartphone model is Unimax (UMX) U686CL, a low-end Android-based smartphone made in China and sold by Assurance Wireless. The telco sells cell phones part of a government program that subsidizes phone service for low-income Americans. "In late 2019, we saw several complaints in our support system from users with a government-issued phone reporting that some of its pre-installed apps were malicious," Malwarebytes said in a report. The company said it purchased a UMX U686CL smartphone and analyzed it to confirm the reports it was receiving.7 -
Teenagers are rebellious by nature. Unfortunately some people never mature into their middle age and still throw hissy fits and tantrums about pronouns and climate change until they are like 45 (LOL) which is too late.
These people work wonders as a tool for an aspiring career politician, who can take these sheeps and rile and charge them up emotionally and direct their anger at a specific group of people for no apparent benefit of their own...
Demographic wise I'd say it's mostly Americans now.2 -
Once usaians stop calling themselves americans they can talk and complain about proper non-misleading identifiers 😘11
-
Someone in the #us slack channel posted about how, if other Americas were dealing with roe v wade, they could come to the mental health channel.
I really want to respond about how Americans are a diverse group, and some are thankful for a judgement that preserves what some consider life, and to keep our diverse opinions in mind.
But I'm not going to. I'm not stupid. It's not worth starting a fight or potentially losing a job over. So I remain silent, like a coward.
I earn a lot of money, enough to ignore ideology I don't agree with, and messages that would have been considered totally inappropriate at one time.21 -
The age-old question between `DD/MM/YYYY` or `MM/DD/YYYY`.
After some shower thoughts, my new preference is `YYYY/MM/DD` for Americans and Lithuanians (only 2 that I know) it just looks like the year has been placed first, otherwise, they read it as normal. To everyone else, the date is reversed and therefore will be read in reverse leading to the same answer.
In addition, `YYYY/MM/DD/some-dated-file` as a file path works exceptionally well for storing files as it uses the least amount of repetition.12 -
!dev !rant
can any Americans here enlighten me, why do US police in movies/documentaries always say "vehicle" and "individual" instead of "car" and "person"?
I know a vehicle is not necessarily a car, but come on, say car, truck, bus, whatever.. isn't it more natural/common?7 -
Fucking American tech lead rejecting PR because he wanted me to change disallow_some_feature to prohibit_some_feature 😡
FYI English was never your fist language either. It was because (from what I have read on the internet)
You did not have a first language just that you adopted it. And “called it your own”.
And you go on and and about Indian accent !!!
F*c*k accent. I’ll rant about your f*c*k*n* attitude. Guess time to change jobs.
BTW American based projects would do much better (in your f’ing opinion without this naming convention)
(This is not targeted at all Americans, I have had some good technical feed back as well. With some really good edge case catches which I over looked, this is meant for one f*c*i*n* project manager/Dev)
Double standards 😡😡17 -
Tragedy of the commons.... Americans and Europe enjoy WW3 and nuclear exchanges. Brought to you by weak men. Reduce some population ;)
I've moved far away to be bothered now. xD10 -
Caution: this joke might get you triggered.
Me: what's the difference between Computers and Americans
Friend: Dunno
Me: Americans don't have troubleshooting.
Badhum tis2 -
Americans in Japan are the most vile and obsene creatures to date.
Them being a twitch or reddit mod is also high.
Yuck.
1 -
Let us not forget that they've killed innocent Americans on this day. NSA staff has been told to leave work early.
If you've only seen it on TV or media, can you really believe it? Same thing goes for COVID. Have you really seen the virus under telescope with your own eyes?
Under this false pretext, 9/11, you and I are treated as terrorists. We've been stripped off our human rights and privacy. But perhaps, is it for the greater good?
Does greater good even exist?
I hope so. It's hard to make any sense out of this carefully planned chaos.
Never lose your questioning nature. Otherwise, you're indifferent from a sheep.
32 -
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