Before and after wannacry, lol

Raise your hand if you visit Devrant atleast before sleeping and after waking up.

"Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

When I left the house to work abroad my mom called me.

Mom: “every time you touch the computer things change!”

Me: “I haven’t touched it in months, what’s the problem?”

Mom: “my google has changed, please put it like before!”

The same phone call, day after day, I couldn’t figure what she meant and she was getting pissed off.

Then I realized, it was just the google doodle...

Hope it's not a repost but this is brilliant... although putting it up in my office wouldnt change anything. Password123 was there before me and it'll be there after me.

Dev life chose me

Today let me see how much of a better HTML/CSS lecturer I had before. The new guy just does everything from W3Schools while the older one, after telling us the basics, just gave us .psd files and let us figure out what was what and we learned a lot from that.

The last two frontend devs I interviewed.

First:

He had 15 some years of experience, but couldn't answer our most basic of technical questions, we stopped asking after the first couple.

Based on a technical test I got the impression that he couldn't distinguish between backend and frontend.

So, I posed a simple question "Have you interfaced with REST API'S using Javascript before?"

Which lead him to talk about arrays. I shit you not he droned on about arrays for five minutes.

"I have experience using big array, small arrays, breaking big arrays into littler arrays and putting arrays inside other arrays."

Never been in an interview situation where I've had to hold back laughter before. We refer to him as the array expert.

His technical knowledge was lacking, and he was nervous, so he just waffled. I managed to ease his nerves and the interview wasn't terrible after that, but he wasn't what we were looking for.

Second:

This was a phone interview.

It started off OK he was clearly walking somewhere and was half preoccupied. Turns out he was on his way back from the shop after buying rolling papers (we'd heard him in the shop asking for Rizla), and he was preoccupied with rolling a joint.

We started asking some basic technical questions at which point he faked that he'd seen a fight in the street.

We then called him back five minutes later you could hear him smoking "ah, that's better". After that the interview was OK, not what we were looking for, but not bad.

Top tip: If you require a joint to get through a phone interview, roll and smoke it before hand.

Was already communicating with a recruiter and made her very clear (a gazillion times) that I don't want a Microsoft related job.

After a few months she calls me telling about this amazing opportunity; a Microsoft related job.

Told her what I told her fifteen quintillion times before and she responded very guilt trippy/offended because she spent so much time on working this out for me.

Fucking retarded and awkward.

After one year of procrastination I finally made the game with unity

Ladies and gentleman, spherical voronoi minesweeper

Yes, I made the game before with in c++ which looks quite shitty, but finally, unity

Me : "I want to remove this file"
Windows powershell : "No you can't"

Me : "I'd like to remove this file and then sort all my /home files in alphabetical order and rename all of then adding some text before and after there actual name"
Linux bash : "Ok. Done."

I was hired to build a small PHP site. The client was arrested and sentenced to jail time right before the third of four milestones was complete, so I didn't get paid any more after that. Didn't hear from him for over a year, then out of nowhere he wanted to pick up where we left off.

It's finished.

After switching between Fedora, Ubuntu, Debian, Manjaro, Antergos and a dozen WM's I've settled for Arch on the desktop.

Took me over a week of trial and error, but it's worth the pain for the level of control you get.

Switching to Linux reminded me much of trying to find out if I liked text editors or IDE's more when I first started programming. I changed tools every day before I settled.

Screenshots of course. Now to actually get back to my JDBC projects before I start obsessing over how to get all my apps on the terminal. :D

My boss asked me if he could smoke one before starting the interview. So I went down with him and lighted one up as well. Then we started to talk as if we were friends since years after I told him I like to drink alcohol from time to time (he asked :D) . Afterwards he just asked me if I know Java and stuff and I was like "sure ez pz". We still have drinking competitions on every company event. Best boss ever

Last half hour of last Friday my Cinnamon desktop started fucking up every time I booted after like 20 seconds of uptime.

Logs said something about xorg errors but after like 15 reboots I said fuck it.

Was quite nervous this morning because of that issue and possibly not being able to open a terminal for installing a different DE before everything started to get screwed again.

Booted up. No freezes. No errors. It just works.

I guess my computer needed weekend too 😋

New hire commit:

Message: Visual update

Gitlab: Showing 27 changed files with 21628 additions and 12296 deletions

Do I kill him before or after teaching him?

I hired a new developer after careful screening and interviewing many candidates.

First thing he's asking first day on the job
- I have already booked august month for holiday, is that a problem?
- I need to come 2 hours before anyone else in the morning and leave 2 hours before, everyday because I have things to do at home.
- I've seen that espn.com sport news are blocked by the firewall, why is that?
- I've installed bitTorrent on my PC but it's very slow downloading movies

I hope he's good.

Personal projects are the best.

Coming home after work.
Cooking diner and cleanup, dishwash stuff.
Giving some attention to partner.
Exercise, because you have been sitting all day.
And then the one hour that is left before you need to sleep. You fire up the project just to realize that you forgot what you have been doing. And start browsing devrant instead.

Great day. let's try again tomorrow.

Biggest terminal hack I've discovered till now which is so fucking obvious I can't believe I literally just started using it:

Executing the date command right before and after another command/series of commands to see how long shit takes.

$ date; command or commands; date

This is incredibly useful when rendering loads of data in screen sessions!

I actually feel rather retarded for only thinking of this now.

Rant rant = new Rant
rant.isRant = false // !!!

I woke up this morning after not thinking about my code for a day, and realized i had a flaw in my validation design. I fixed it before opening my eyes.

It's kind of amazing how not thinking about a problem can help solve it. Even if you don't know it's there!

I'm sure it's been said a million times before, and will be said a million times after, but:

*Right clicks website*
*Selects Inspect Element*
*Changes something for giggles*
...
*Someone sees over your shoulder*
"OMFG DID YOU JUST HACK THE INTERNET!"

How to never finish a project:

*Le me staring at my own code after a few weeks*
"Bleh! Icould do better. Lets change it all before things get worse."

And the cycle continues...

There are two well defined programming eras, known as BG and AG.
Before Google and After Google

After disappearing since March, it makes me happy to see you all still hate your bosses and colleagues just as much as before.

Screaming at a coworker?
The INTJ in me has prevented that pretty well in almost every critical devSituation.
BUT one time in the past, I was really close to a level 9001 scream:
This fucker, despite having been told about code formatting guidelines and DRY/KISS multiple times, had the balls to commit such utterly crappy and unreadable code that I almost bursted.
He quickly realized his mistake after I reset the repo to before his push, disabled his Gitlab account and wrote him a simple email containing the text:
"IF YOU EVER COMMIT SUCH SHIT AGAIN, THERE WILL BE UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES. GFYS."
After a peaceful coffee and a croissant I decided to re-enable his account. He did good after that.

Feeling like an absolute idiot after I spent an hour and a half trying to get Gnome3 to work with shell extensions, before remembering I use xfce.

#Gitlab is currently doing a Dry Run before actual migration on August 11.

In the linked blog-post I found this note:

NOTE to users in Crimea, Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Sudan, and Syria: GitLab.com may not be accessible after the migration to Google. Google has informed us that there are legal restrictions that are imposed for those countries.

So my classmate just decided to write "printf("Suck my balls I dont remember how to do this);" in a programming exam and forgot to delete it before handing it in.

Well... after saying "sorry" like a hundred times the teacher accepted his apology.

In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.

Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!

But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.

Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.

In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.

Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.

This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?

Only the future will tell.

just wanted to share this is a before and after shot of me updating node on my work computer

Fuck the way comments work in xml. I want to write a 2 word comment but before that I apparently have to make an ascii art mona lisa. Infront of and after the comment.

Apparently, working from home means "you are available 24/7 right?" at my current workplace. I am grateful that I have a job, but I do not dig getting emails or my guys getting harassed after hours for things that would normally have to wait until the next day.

I also dislike getting woken up by the Head of Department 1 hour to 2 hours before normal time because of something super-duper-zomg urgent that would normally wait. Which is why my phone is now on silence for phone calls and my notifications for emails is out after hours.

FUCK! It's so FUCKING HOT. GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT. EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING ANNOYING IN THE HEAT. COUPLE THAT WITH THE FACT THAT I SUCK ASS AT EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO AND I SNAP AT THE SLIGHTEST THING. I NEED THAT FUCKING DEVRANT STRESS BALL, BEFORE I THROW MY SHITTY BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY MY CONTROLLER, MY LAPTOP, AND MY DESK SOON AFTER.

Fuck.

web dev before and after

(applying to a developer position)
interviewer : So, do you like to code?
me : of course!
interviewer : Are you sure? because this is a developer position and women prefer something more administrative than coding.
me : Wow! nobody told me that before. If I had known I wouldn't have studied this.
didn't expect to be called back after that...

JavaScript Motherfucking Asynchronous Bullshit.

I get it, for quite some stuff, async is very, very useful. But why on fucking earth do so goddamn many functions NEED this (and those callback functions) and can't do without?!

If there would be good and nicely understandable await documentation that actually fucking works, I'd be so happy.

I've currently got .then after .then after motherfucking then and its irritating me to no end as it, in this context, shouldn't even be necessary. This thing I'm writing doesn't give a fuck if something takes a few milliseconds before the rest of the program can continue!!

Fuck asynchronous programming in JavaScript for goddamn everything.

(I do love JavaScript!)

>Barely ever written python before
>Gets added to a python group project
>Codes the part I'm associated with
>Runs fine after about 19 tries
>Puts it together with other people's code
>Syntax error
>Searches for the error for 2 and a half hours
>tfw other people use 4 spaces instead of a tab like I do and pythong can't handle it :(

One of our team members would write his name in a comment before and after every line of code he writes!
Like we got version control we can see the changes that have been made and by whom there is no need for this narcissistic behavior.

Some days before my graduation me and my roommate were invited for an interview. We arrived at mutually agreed time.
The interviewer asked nothing about our coding knowledge. just some personal questions. after a brief conversation he started to explain the job responsibility to us. It seemed we were both hired. We were happy that we are getting full time jobs before graduation. And then he asked us if we can commit to stay in the company for year. We both agreed if the terms are good.

After that he tried to hire us for
$125 USD per month.
we did not spent another minute bargaining with him. We just left saying that we will let you know.
We were shocked.

I started drinking coffee when I started as a junior dev.

I loved its boost, but after a while being on coffee was exactly how I felt before as normal. I incrementally upped the dosage, while my resistance creeped up too. I reached a moment when I drank a liter daily, so I witched to yerba maté instead, which resulted in more potent brews. Then I got used to its strength too plus it tasted like horseshit. I switched to caffeine tablets, takingg more and more. Soon after I reached a level which was described medically as the top one should be allowed to take.
I no longer felt any boost. In between caffeinated moments of normalty, I felt like a brain-dead zombie. When I was caffeinated, I was jittery, my shoulder and eyebrow was glitching, my stomach was flexing like before taking a huge exam.
After some miserable time like that, I quit caffeine entirely. I was fatigued, dull and my mind was hazy for te next 1-2 weeks.

I then finally, became gradually normal again.
I drink tea and coffee only socially, perhaps a few times in a month, and never after too much later than noon.

Now I can't wear my "Programmer. Converts coffee into code" shirt anymore. Apart from that, I'm much better off :)

What's your coffee story?

Fuck I hate it so much talking to any of the hosting support chats, seriously questioned if it's some brainless bot talking, after I literally just answered his question (and ~3 times before that) and he asks it again

Fuck I wish designers learnt colour theory before presenting me with a light colour to go on a white background. Like fuck? It’s not even grey at least.

And the complimentary colours are so shit I think I’ll go throw up after an Indian dinner and colour pick from that mess instead. (I like Indian food ok...)

How hard is it to go, NOPE that’s a shit colour we probably shouldn’t use that????

The office decided to buy us all ice-cream. I got mine out the fridge put it on my desk and before I sat down was asked to join a meeting, after that on the way to my desk got called over to help someone. Eventually got back to find my ice-cream had melted over my entire desk :(

I startet at this company where they made a map where some locations where displayed on a map. It took like 30 seconds to load the locations - and it could only display ten at once. To cover this fact they made it impossable to zoom out...
I circumenvented their incredably bad orm and queried the DB directly, created some indices, and only shipped coordinates, type and label (whereas they shipped the whole datasets to the browser before) - and suddenly i could show all 30k
pins at once in microseconds having less traffic then before. That was quite a leap.

Needless to say the app never reached nearly production, I left the shit show soon after and the ceo is dead by now.

First proper software dev job, very naive, tasked to write a 'soft switch' for a well known companies set of production lines, depending on what product was being produced at a particular time. Wrote it weeks before the deadline, forgot about it, night before I had a quick review and realised I had missed half the spec aaaand it was going live the following day. Shitting myself I pulled an all nighter, drove to the office at 5am, managed to get it done with minutes to spare for 9am. To my knowledge it's still being used today. I left shortly after that.

Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

Worst Project: Project Managers that don't trust their team.

Our PM before didn't want the developers included in the client meetup because she said the developers wouldn't understand anything in the meeting.

A month after the proposed deadline after, I free up my time (I'm handling different projects), and I decide to speak with the client to see where thing went south.

Apparently, what our PM promised/understood is far off from what the client wanted.

The project was a simple "show the drivers where they need to go next" mobile app while she promised a "Traveling Salesman Problem"-esque solution.

So I've been using this website that loads terribly and after sending the dev some emails on how he should reduce the amount of page requests to reduce the load time, I got this response. Anyone with moodle experience care to explain why one should have 200+ css requests before a page loads?

Back when I migrated my file server to a VM, I used robocopy to copy everything over (and caused quite a few fuckups before it'd behave halfway decent.. or so I thought). Now I tried to add my desktop's SSH key to the authorized_keys on said server but it wouldn't accept my key after that. After a bit of digging I've found that my entire home directory (where the file server hosts its mirror of my D: drive) had everything set to 777, and that's why the key isn't accepted. Great permission mode, isn't it? Much secure, very wow! Thank you so much robocopy!!!

I took part in a programming competition yesterday. The computer provided to me crashed just before we begun and took five minutes to reboot. I wrote an inference engine to solve a problem that would have put me in the top 5, but they refused to accept my solution because it was seconds after the submission time despite them being aware I started later than everybody else.

Wasn't so much a question but...

Before WFH got so popular, I was interviewing at a place 50km from home, loyalty and stuff came up and the guy said something along the lines of "The only potential problem I can see is the distance. Now I get the sense you're quite a loyal person blah blah blah"

Half way into my third month they decided not to keep me after probation, after giving no negative feedback at any point prior to that then "we just need someone mors senior"

So yea, tune me about loyalty and then do that....

Also, if they needed senior why were they advirtising junior?

I know it's not trending anymore but talking about poor products - the Pokemon GO app! I mean, that shit is the Windows Vista of apps. Never before have I seen a product that crashes on the simplest gui tasks.

And after a month they finally roll an update which consists of.. "Minor text fixes"! $#%!

!rant

TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"

Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….

A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.

Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: - Why Madam?

Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!

😂😂😂

Me: Asking a lot of junior questions
Dev: Stop! Before you ask another question - think for 10 minutes, google another 15 minutes and if you don't find anything - ask me.

^ This was the best thing he said, after that I can google pretty much anything, and hell, I even go to 5-th page of the google from time to time!

Before learning the css grid, I fell asleep so fast everytime at night. After the bootcamp

This is the 3rd day and I still can’t sleep on time, my brain keeps on banging my eyes to wake up and try all of the websites that have been piled up on my brainbfor 3 years

P.S. I start learning grid after using bootstrap layout the first time. Not gonna touch it again. It breaks my brain kinda bad

>Be me
>Loose job just before Covid started its crap
>About to get new job
>"We'll be in contact after the lock down"
>Fuuuuuuu.jpeg
>Months later, country starts open up little
>Starting to look more proactively again
>Company from before "no positions atm"
>Really liked that place, so Fuuuuuuu.jpeg again
>Talking to recruiter, they have something in mind
> Need assessment. Understandable
>They send a separate assessment for every single language on my CV and the cake thief thing
>NotImpressedMikalya.jpeg

A man's best friend is a Martini when you realize the college semester begins again at your birthday, and you're turning 29 that month with a year left before graduation. Fuck college. FML.

Yes, I'm writing this after having 3 martinis. My code can't pawsibbly go wrong tonight. Being a little tipsy is awwwwweeesome. :D

After seeing this "old" picture I want to let know at the guyz who are in love with AMD that before Ryzen(s) I was able to cook my fuckin' breakfast's eggs on their fuckin' CPUs.

Big mistakes brings to great solutions and shut up the fuck up AMD, probably your core code is full of vulnerabilities but no one cares about your ultra threads architecture.

I was called in to a meeting this afternoon, and for some strange reason, my boss had all our salaries written on a board, and I guess she had forgot to erase them before I got in. I've been thinking about asking for a raise for a few months now, but after seeing that list, I'm wondering if I should ask for more than I had previously contemplated. Would that be considered unethical?

Fucking hate it when the moment I sleep, the "spaceX is live" notification awakens me and after 15 minutes of waiting, that bitch says "the plan rescheduled for next week". Don't you really know your fucking rocket has problems 10 minutes before takeoff? really? shit, Now I have to read some idiot rants to sleep again. Fuck my life.

After using Linux every day for 3 years today I learned that listing directories requires the execute permission.

In a misdirected attempt to solve my problems I also learned the basic concepts of SELinux before realising that SELinux is disabled on the host and not present on the guest.

Client wanted a site for the 100th anniversary of an important local musician. They wanted to show calendar of events, biography, store, and more. We started the work 8 months before the commemorative date, and after 4 months, the site was 99% complete and waiting final review and approvement. 2 weeks of silence has passed, when I got an email saying their deleted the site from server and all backups, and now they wanted all the work back.

With luck, I could restore a partial backup, and the client didn't want to pay for redo the rest of the work.

10 months later (yes, after all the events has started and the site being off) they contact me again, asking to continue the work.

I was happy to say no.

Gotta love those 30 seconds of feeling of accomplishment after you solve a problem .. and before you see a new one.

How I feel, typing 'git status' before and after every command I enter.

Friday meeting 2 hours before the weekend:
Manager: I want this and this and that and that feature implemented.
Me: Ok, next week I'll do it.

Monday meeting 2 hours after the weekend:
Manager: Have you already implemented this and this and that and that feature you promised to do?
Me: No

spotted a huge bug 2 days before launch. My boss was panicking and he asked. "how long more you need?!" I look at him and almost said "Don't rush art" then I swallow my saliva and said "give me 2 hours" he said ok hurry up.

yea 2 hours after i find out what went wrong

So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.

Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.

Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼

Microsft (before Win 8 ): we have to fix the blue screen of death! People are pissed off seeing it appear again and again.

Windows: We will do something

*In its remastered blue screen - adds a sad face emoji, changes the shade of blue, and inserts a QRCode for the user to play with in the meantime*

Microsoft ( after win 8) :Good Job Team, it looks great now, people are gonna love it, especially the QRCode feature!

Was in a meeting today when it was announced by some higher ups that everyone but me can now leave. After it was just me and some higher ups they began to praise my work and congratulate me for being 2 days ahead of schedule. Before I realised what my mouth was doing, I'd said "two days ... so far"

Getting the corporate hard sell - after I gave notice at my job I've had my skip level manager and then _his_ boss offer me changes to stay. It's messing with my head!

People seem to be crawling out of the woodwork to get me to stay and it feels a lot like this is how one gets into corporate politics... but I swear almost none of these people cared about me before. Make it make sense!

Is there anyone else who copy something useful. Paste it and after a minute when you need to copy something else, you remember that you copied something important before, but you can't remember what. And you need to paste it to check what it was so you don't lose something important.
But there always only useless shit.

Finally got some fruition out of my job hunting.. a publishing company wants to hire me. Only issue.. they're paying only ~€1k/m (before or after tax.. no idea.. and the tax on individuals here in Belgium definitely isn't any better) and that's even split between me and another guy I'd be collaborating with, and then there's some royalties. I can't pay shit with that. The argument being that it'll give me experience. #forexposure, #forexperience!!!

Well at least it's paid at all unlike internships I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ahhhhhh anyone here use yED? I don't know how i even worked out diagrams before this. For the past couple years this has been my choice diagramming tool <3

Top image is before, bottom is after a single click. I just join boxes and let it work it out at the end. Then obviously do some adjustments to read how I like but seriously makes it easier to trial various layouts. I even make stuff in yED before recreating in something like Visio, if need be.

If anyone got another diagramming tool they like to use, post below (trying to add new stuff to my toolbox lol)

EDIT: Ahh, tried but you can't see the lines after the image gets compressed after upload (and DarkReader on chrome isn't exactly helping :p).

Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.

We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.

FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.

Haven't used it since and hopefully never will again, but understanding recursion and keyboard input in Assembly (uni project)

After a long (4 days) sleepover with my friends, with 14 hours a day of slamming our heads against abstract registers, we could finally program the factorial and take floating numbers as input and output them on the screen. It was nothing but pain, but the moment we got it, the sky had opened before us :D

Never again

Just spent an entire night eaning up my codebase...

I optimized some of the functions got rid of unnecessary global variables and changed up the whole file hirearchy so it would be easier to read. After spending all night doing this I went to run the program and for once it seemed everything worked right the first time! However a portion of my application that is supposed to happen at a certain date and time never would run. After spending all night comparing each and every line for what I changed versus my last commit I couldn't find the fallacy in my logic. Everything should still work like it did before. After spending more time looking for bugs I finally realized I didn't break anything when I switched over to this new structure it was the old code that was broken. I went through the old code and after some debugging eventually found the culprit an extra continue statement that prevented my loop from fully executing. Lesson learned sometimes the biggest bugs can spawn from one line of code.

I did mostly Java and JavaScript coding before I came to my current job. When I started I pretty much had to learn PHP on the fly. Pretty much no problems, but my greatest shame from the few years I've been writing code is when I spent over an hour debugging an unknown error, after which time a fellow dev looked at my code and informed me that PHP uses . instead of + to concatenate strings...

So I mentioned before that I managed to beat the ATS system for one job posting and got an immediate interview invite.

They one upped me by sending me to a video interview with an AI. It's supposed to analyze my facial expressions and determine if I'm worthy of being hired.

Got a rejection email just now.

So after all that hard work, looks like Skynet didn't like me very much 😛.

Just found out my child’s after school care has been cancelled right before the new term, for fucks sake, how about some warning! Fuck knows what to do about work now. Oh and here is a desk

When I came home just now after a long day and opened my mailbox, I was instantly made a little bit happier than before.

Thank you @dfox and @trogus for creating this opportunity for devs to rant about little and big incidents and to seek advice and amusement. (And for the stickers, of course. :D)
Thank you all for being the awesome community you are.

(Two of the stickers were immediately stuck to one of my boxes and fit in quite well.
Edit: Also: sorry for potato, it's evening in Germany.)

So, according to my customer, the internal app I just released is "far too aggressive and not overly polite to users".

After querying this the client was referring to validation error messages.

Where I've wrote "Set a payment method before creating the order", the client would prefer it to be ""Please set a payment ...".

I guess it's a fair enough observation, but the client's phrasing made me chuckle :)

Alcoholic Programmer

Last year, I had an inevitable programming session while I was drunk. I didn't struggle at all. I programmed like composing a poem. Btw I have been programming for last 18 years and never enjoyed this much after college programming labs.
Since then I've been drinking before complicated logics and never disappointed.

Tl;dr. Programming is fun, but programming is unparalleled when drunk.

Posted a question on SO a few minutes ago. It seems like they are downvoting questions before reading them. If after reading the question it appears legit and written according to all the rules - they return the upvote.

Wtf dude...

Parts of the code I am working on date back to the early nineties, written in ancient C++ with lots of special cases for ancient compilers by people with 0-2 years of coding experience.
My favourite coding moment is every time when after refactoring a part of the code, it has about 1000 lines less (no exaggeration), is more reliable, AND can do a lot more than before.

I was assigned the research of an issue, after doing that I told in a meeting what we needed to solve, then someone asked which engineer would take care of that so I said me and they didn't listen. Then they asked again and someone else spoke before I could. I can't have good performance if they don't give me tasks. I'm bored of doing nothing, fuck quarantine making people forget I exist.

I saw a rant about overtime or staying late if your boss is still at the office.

It's the same in a(lmost all i think) Japanese Company.

9:00-18:00 work schedule.

Come in earlier than your boss before actual work schedule.

Go home after your boss after the actual work schedule.

There's no more work to be done and they think you going home early weren't doing enough work and shit.

Good think i left that company.

I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Before devRant:

* Sit back and enjoy the night watching series/movies*
* Chills in the weekends*
- It's nice to code at work
😊

After devRant:

*anxiety building up*
*start sweating*
Should I code all time?
(0_0')
When I get home I'll start a project

My most intense day was in the company at the day we had to publish a website containing lots of jQuery & CSS animated stuff.
We planned to go live at 3pm but due to the fact that before lunch time there began to appear more and more styling and animation problems, we went live at around 9pm. I was sweating and nervous as hell the whole time.
At least my boss and I went to drink a few beers right after that. ;)

Just had an interview, but since I am a smart ass I decide that half an hour notice before the interview is OK after working the whole day with queues, docker & php multithreading, so we start an interview over Skype and my persona was able to duck up how simple joins work as well as function which is supposed to return the sum of even numbers between 2 and provided argument... I was off by 2..

Lesson learned never get in an interview after a whole day of mindfuckery .. Never

Boss: How long will it take to finish the project?

Me: (Gives date for finishing dev and deployment.)

Boss: great, sound reasonable.

Me: ...

Boss: wait. Aren't you on vacation the two weeks after that.

Me: jup.

Boss: yeah we are not doing that again. Client can wait another two weeks.

Before someone says no Boss/PM is like that, he was/is a developer too so discussing deadlines and efforts is usually pretty relaxed since he knows our codebase and how long it takes to do things.

I JUST SPENT A PAINFUL TWO HOURS TRYING TO FIND OUR WHY MY EXCEPTIONS WERE BEING THROWN AFTER EVERY SINGLE INPUT THE USER ENTERED...

I commented out the try catch, it worked, I commented out the throw and it worked, so I uncommented them both and it worked again? WHY DIDN'T IT WORK BEFORE Y U DO DIS

For the love of all things sacred, put a damn space between your parentheses and whatever comes before/after them. It is totally not cool to read if(expression){}.

No, seriously, I mean that.

Worst Monday ever.... going back to work today after a lovely week off. Just checked my emails before I get to the office and I’m already offended by the amount of ‘stupid’ that has happened whilst I’ve been away. Wish me luck, I may have murdered someone by the end of the day!

An old man in my company walked in the restroom right after I entered, I was destroying the toilet when I heard him leave without WASHING HIS FUCKING HANDS, some time later I saw this animal communicating and shaking hands with somebody. Have you been grossed out by an event like this before?

Fuck you scp. I was uploading 6GB file to an EC2 server. Well, needless to say, "no space left on device" after all 6GB transferred was the biggest FUCK YOU moment. Seriously. Send the file size and check before you waste 30 minutes of my time. Oh, and don't read CLI command data as part of the transfer. You suck.

New manager was hired in another department but he sits close to me.

After a couple of weeks he complimented how it always seemed like I was there at work.

I just said thanks. But what I wanted to say was...

"Yeah no kidding fucktard, you get here after 8am, leave before 3pm, and you some how are impressed that not only does my normal 8 hour shift completely overlap the time you are here, but I also regularly put in 9 hour days which is pretty normal for people around here.”

One of our clients IT team is lazy as fuck they slack too much, it took them 2 weeks just to respond our email (We already sent like 2-3 reminders in between).

Client:"We fucking pay you and it's still not ready, how much time it will take?"
Us: Just respond to that email ffs so we can proceed.
Client: Oh, there was an Email? we will have a look into that.

Even after, it took them 4days to send fields which were meant to be sent like 2weeks before.
(in between 4days we had called them just for the fields again and even after the fucking call they send that fucking fields after one reminder)

And of course, still, the blame game is on us.

My worst legacy code experience was when I worked as a freelancer and got a tiny job to improve a VBA module in some Excel file for a very big company. So what's worse than VBA? Having to change parts of VBA code that was passed around to other freelancers before like the cheapest dockside whore. After meddling in there for about half an hour I felt like all those cheap ass punter, so I decided to write the whole thing from scratch. What a relief, after 3 hours I was very proud of the thing and it looked clean and well maintained again so I let it back on the streets. 😉
To the coder who comes after me: Please treat her (the code) nice or I will burry you alive in dog poop and burn the whole thing!

Before I realized what a Vagrant Box was, I thought everyone was talking about cardboard boxes for homeless people.

So there I am thinking everyone was talking about homeless people and I finally understand that it's a service for quickly deploying VMs for local development when I get invited to a party after a convention with my hosting company and I look over the rail and see a vagrant man asleep on a cardboard box.

After working two 85 hour weeks and staying until 6 in the morning before customer demo, the project manager decides to invite the team for dinner and drinks after work, as if my family doesn't miss having me home for dinner, and I haven't spent enough time with my colleagues!!

Undoubtedly the most common mistake that devs do : Ignoring your personal health, be it mental or physical.

I almost went through a burnout before realising things need to change.

Changed my lifestyle upside down after that
- Switched from wfh to an office job
- I cycle 12kms a day now
- Got a standing desk for myself to be more active
- and have a journal where i literally dump everything off my brain

So today I lost around two hours because I solved a bug before trying to reproduce it 👏👏👏
The client reports the bug, I open up VS and already go to the source file that might be affecting it, see a variable assignment that was just outside of the If statement it was supposed to be in, and after that I try to reproduce the error.
Guys, please, be smarter than me next time.

Before Dev rant clueless about how to create a app that shows 360view of a car, and change the content when different Color is clicked

After basic idea from Dev rant
Finally able to figure it out and built it in 2 days. Honestly got lot of irritation at first, because have to learn everything from scratch and lots of errors.

Before I learned to use the gui and they saw a program cli: meh, ok sarcastically. After I learned the gui even if the program does absolutely nothing: wow! You have a future.

Set up a personalized web front page for the news organization I worked for in the spring. Left it for the editorial staff to be tested and approved.

Didn't hear a word for almost a year when the PO asked for me to deploy it.

After a few days, the editorial staff started asking questions.

I really, really wonder what they did all those months before release...

It's not bad UX! It's just deprecating and replacing it with a hidden feature!

So before there was an Uninstall button on the long-press menus but they removed that in some update...

So now all icons only have a Edit, Remove, and App Info

I finally got annoyed enough after looking for a Setting to just email them...

YouTube is trying hard to shove their video suggestions into my face.

Video suggestions are on the watch page, inside the video player after playback, and even inside the embedded video player when paused.

Sorry, YouTube, I am not interested in your suggestions before I have even finished watching the current video!

After a couple years working mainly on back end, I just decided to start working on my front end skills to get myself into a full stack path a couple days ago...

I feel like I've never coded before in my life. My girlfriend is a front end developer and she's been laughing out loud at my html all these days...

Now she tells me she wants to learn some back end in a near future.
I'll let you know how much I laughed after that.

First time back to work today after a month long break. It was soul crushing. I don’t know if I’m permanently burnt out or just seriously disenfranchised with the corporate world but I would have thought after a holiday I would be energised and ready to go. It turns out after coming back to work I feel exactly the fucking same! Tired, exhausted, discontent, irritable and most importantly BORED. I am bored spending 8+ hours a day at a computer chair responding to emails and teams messages! Has anyone felt like this before? Did you ever overcome it? I’m worried as I’m getting older I’m losing my love more and more for programming whilst simultaneously hating the concept of work more and more.

I like webpack, but maybe not anymore after today.

Was working on my side project with already configured webpack and after some time I realised somethong is wrong with my styles, but it was not before.

Then I realised, that Chrome won't load CSS at all. I checked my source, but it seems to be perfectly fine. No errors while building. CSS is even included in the bundle generated...WHAT THE FUCK?

Front-end hacking is pure dog shite.
Some banana fuckers changed a forms plugin for PukePress some odd years ago and now I am responsible, after installing 2 major releases, to make it behave and look the same as it did before.
I'd rather dangle in a noose than cleaning up their spaghettified CSS selectors and random jokeQuery code.

after staring my stupid code for 10 mins, the facepalm. Better even before this my program went into infinite loop cause i had initialized a counter and if(counter<10) WITHOUT INCREMENTING IT. Its 1 am i should sleep.

Before update:
WhatsApp: Opens in literally one second

After Update:
Takes few seconds because of that brand new splashscreen -_-
And it looks ugly too ...

That moment when, after you've spent days trying to refactor your code to be clean and readable, you look at what you've made and you honestly feel like you actually made things worse than before.

Clients expecting quotes before explaining the full extent of the work and then getting mad when I change it after they add a billion more features.
Also, cross-browser testing 😫🔫

I specifically asked my employer when fix time is, whether I get a work laptop, and whether WFH is optional, because

- I'm a night owl and don't function until 10am
- my personal laptop is slow as shit and I don't want to put Windows on it
- I don't have a decent chair at home yet

- client team agreed on fix time starting an hour before what's in my contract, and PM made it clear that they expect to be able to call us an hour before and two hours after (that's what fix time means unless I misunderstand)
- I got a crap backup laptop after a week of moaning, with promise of a better one two weeks from now
- I won't get an RFID card for weeks, so I effectively can't enter or leave the client offices

The ::before and ::after pseudo elements. I’ve spent an hour sometimes trying to figure out how to get some element to do something and not realizing it was because of those.

Holy crap, just started working again on a personal project after a 1-month hiatus... Really struggling to get my head back where it was, I have (almost) no clue what I was doing or why.
Even the commit log and the comments and docs I've left around seem empty somehow.

Any good tips/tools for retracing steps? How do you start working on a codebase you've never touched before?

Came into work with absolutely no sleep. And now after a couple of hours everything around the office looks weird like I've never noticed stuff before.

Or maybe I'm seeing things...

I fucking need sleep.

Mornings before starting office work
During start of lockdown: Wake up early, freshen up, do daily exercise, get sunlight from the window, write an article or work on side project for an hour, then start off to work...
5 months after lockdown: Wake up just 5 minutes before office work, brush my teeth and start off with office work...

After the base installation of arch linux..I am trying to install the display server,Nvidia driver.and i3 wm...but getting errors..
Shall I install Display server xorg after or before the installation of Nvidia drivers??
What is the proper way to configure xorg and Nvidia?
When I give the startx command it is showing black screen....
@deadlyRants

Just before my graduation a big consultancy firm reached me to offer me a job.

They told the salary was double compared to other jobs but they needed me to

go to a city 4 hours away from mine,

have an interview there,

if that went well I would have had to attend an intensive course in the same city (paying all expenses by myself)

and after that have another interview to see if I was good for the job

“Sounds nice 😊 can you call me next week after my graduation? Now I need to focus on that but then I would like to hear more…”

How did it go? Who knows, after my graduation I turned my phone off for a month and 👻 ghosted them…

my colleague had to send 50 semi individualized emails and started to do one after another. i quickly wrote a script to prepare the emails to be set up with a few clicks. she was impressed and thankful before proceeding to finish the task by hand.

Started to Work after school and did not went to any University like all of my friends. Best choice ever 👌. A half year later I moved in with my girl, went on holidays I could not afford before and got the best colleagues at work😁

I think bugs are always my fault..
Still after so many years on this project I alwaaaaays go debug/recheck what I coded first before checking the old code and data...usually turns out it's something long before me that's still fucked up & buggy, but still.. I always think I managed to fuck up something.. :/ I need an egotrip/egoboost or sth.. but I doubt even this'd help.. I know my code is not pictureperfect, but still.. I never think it's good enough..and that it has bugs.. o.O I also have a bit sex daily so I dread to write/fix anything in js..

How fucking difficult is it to first figure out what the hell you want me to build, before assigning me a project?
But noo...make me implement a feature that will do a completely different thing in two weeks, and a completely different thing a week after that...fuck you Jeff

In the before times of 2019, one of the guys in the office had this habit of sucking his teeth after lunch.

I can hardly describe it. Imagine making kissy sounds but with your tongue and teeth. Did this almost every day from 1-2.

Probably happened every 1-2 minutes. So just long enough to get back into the swing and boom *thick*.

I just invested in some really nice headphones eventually.

After building some automated regression tests to verify parts of the company website were working, it was discovered that a test case was missing.
Instead of a constructive meeting about fixing the issue and adding a test, I was reamed and my manager was reamed that we "missed this case".
Nevermind that the automation caught several issues before release in nearly every other aspect of coverage.
Nevermind that the missing test case was a useless feature added after the automation was completed.
Nevermind that automation was meant to be the last stop in the gate, not the first...

I was so livid after that meeting I nearly resigned on the spot. My manager was so livid over being told to write me up he was ready to resign.

Today I was enjoying a coffee and browsing the Internet on my phone for information on making mulled wine (planning on brewing some and wasn't sure whether to add ingredients during the fermentation stage or after) and came across this incredible example of what is wrong with websites these days.

I actually didn't spot the "close" for the subscription popup before leaving the page and later reviewing the screenshot.

// not strictly a devRant
Had a minor operation last week. Surgeon said I'd be fine to work immediately after.
I only managed a half-day at work (the day after the operation) before the pain became unbearable. That was 5 days ago - been off since.
Hate taking so much time off - halfway through a project, gonna go back to a mountain of work and a tighter deadline!

CSS is magic.
CSS is a katana blade.
CSS is a tiny bristle scratching Gorilla Glass Victus. It shouldn't exist, yet it does.
CSS is a plastic-based sticker that you peel off, and it leaves no residue behind.
CSS is a summer breeze of 2004 that you felt while riding longboards with your girlfriend.
CSS is plugging a '86 Les Paul into a Marshall JCM800 and switching to a dirty channel.
CSS is diving into a freshly made bed after an evening shower.
CSS is getting your winter coat and finding a hundred dollar bill in the pocket.
CSS is the front right burner.
CSS is stomping onto a Big Muff pedal before you do solo.
CSS is David Gilmour inviting you for lunch.
CSS is cracking open a cold bottle of Perrier.
CSS is falling asleep in the attic hugging your loved one and watching the stars.
CSS is a glass of just below the room temperature cold pressed orange juice after you run 5k.
CSS is stepping on a scale and seeing yet another pound of body weight gone.
CSS is a supportive, beautiful person saying they love you just after you escaped an abusive relationship.
CSS is putting on your cold white gold Rolex in the Friday afternoon before meeting with friends at the bar.
CSS is discovering your old Sansa Clip+ and booting RockBox.
CSS is giving cunnilingus to Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
CSS is finally feeling empathy to another person after two years of therapy and realizing you're alive.
CSS saying "unleaded" after you pull up to the gas station in your vintage 911.
CSS is your ex-boss apologizing to you after they hit the rock bottom.
CSS is smelling her hair in the back seat of a Maybach taxi.
CSS is giving presents to your grandparents.
CSS is hitting bong while watching Home Alone with your friends after New Year's Eve.
CSS is getting a new job that pays 3x your old one and removing your old job's Jira bookmark from a bookmarks bar.

One hour before demo.
clone,compile and run.
Guess what..?
Most of the key module aren't working
Guess why..?
I forgot to push final changes to git (after pulling an all nighter)

Worst tech ever? I will say, but don't throw rocks before I explain. Xcode. Why? Try to use it on MacBook 2008. And after that, compare it to Android Studio on same machine. But at least, I can just say "Compiling" to PM and play games on phone. And even "I don't give a fuck about how urgent it is. IPA build takes 15 minutes."

First day of my first developer job is Monday. Oh shit. Nerves are starting to set in. What if I’m not good enough for the job? I mean I didn’t the coding assessment they wanted me to do. And passed. Which is why they gave me the job. But fuck man I’m nervous! I have never had a job like this before. And it’s remote after my first week. Oh shit.

1st day of the job tomorrow.

Tried to reset my (broken) sleep pattern by going to bed earlier and getting up at half 5, which is the time I'll need to get up. In typical fashion, I just didn't sleep. I just laid there with my eyes closed. This has happened before, so I know what will happen - no sleep again tomorrow and I start my first day after being awake for ~48hrs...

Fuck you, insomnia.

So after a few struggles on my current uni assignment I’ve come to the realisation I need to change the way I write code, or at least the way I think about the code before I start.

I have a tendency to rush into coding something before I’ve planned it out properly, and over the last couple of days stupid mistakes on my part caused hours of stressing.

Are there any good methods for sitting down and planning stuff like this out, or is it just a case of getting some paper and a pen and writing out the logic etc in whatever way makes sense to you (me)?

Oh shit it's a !rant, if you don't like !rants then scroll past this please.

When out of all my dumb classmates there's actually one that never learned much about programming before going to my school, got interested and is right now developing a library of CLI games... Of course I help him if he has any questions, and I will probably review his code after he's done.

Am i the only one who can't use the Windows command prompt after i recently learned how to use the Linux terminal?

Heck. I can't even navigate properly in the cmd prompt and when a command fails i forget i use Windows and puts 'sudo' before the command even though it's godamn Windows.

Guess i have gotten too used to Linux.

What happened to the buttons on top of my smartphone after updating to Android 12?
How did everything get so clunky?
How to turn off the labels and simply display 4 icons in a row like it used to be before?

After having put up with 5mbps at home for months (naked dsl), finally decided to ring up and see if there was an issue. Turns out there was! All fixed now. Speed now more than triple what it was before. Aw yeah.

At uni we have one study subject called OSs and we are doing stuff in win server 2016 and win10 half the semester and half semester in linux

Before those classes
Me: windows is not that bad guys why you so mean?
After:
Also me: oh... i get it now. Fuck windows

I’m 20, but i use vim, not because i feel superior or more clever than others. At first i hated it but by the time i said im gonna learn using that sucker which i did. I’m writing Python and thought maybe by using vim i add nonsense complex to my life. Tried atom which i was using before. After 10 minutes i gave up and opened vim.

My soul cringes a bit every time some smart ass decides to put "Smart" before the product name.
As though nothing means smart as much as digging your own hole.

More broadly, the whole whole world is buying into this "smart" mantra. As if anything and everything that existed before was not smart. Basically "I'm the best" attitude. Don't forget that you can see far only because you're standing on the shoulders of giants.

Case in point:
1. Smart phone which is smart enough to start causing trouble after a couple of years.
2. Smart watch
3. Smart car
4. Smart planes
5. Smart home
.
.
Fucking non sense

Fixed a high priority bug today just prior to release. There was 100% test coverage. The tests pass both before and after the change. The product behavior is correct now where it wasn't before. Just one more reminder that test coverage does not equate to either quality or correctness. Tests are alarms (at best), and quality of tests are no better an any chunk of code. All tests have costs, but not all have value. All reasons why I am skeptical of the value of code coverage, TDD, or anything that posits that "all tests are good".

That moment when you get your first job after getting your degree and one of your co-workers with about 5 years of experience asks you what is a static class because he never used one...

I mean come on... You have 5 years of xp and never used a static before? x)

This project is going places...

Just implemented a feature using Builder pattern .
State of mind : aaaghh fuck this shit , i am in hell . let's get some rest before integrating and testing this disaster

after some rest , while integrating " Oh you beauty my past self, i love you😍😍😍😍

I brought this up before, but what’s with these claims of getting a job after learning to code for a few months? Can this profession be learned that quickly? Am I just dumb for taking years to get my degrees and land a great paying development job and gaining skills and experience to become proficient? My self esteem takes a huge hit after reading these things but what they leave out is whether these jobs are internships, how much they were paid, where they worked etc.

Sorry, just a little incoherent and cranky bc i slept for just a few hours due to a toothache. I’m not blaming these people at all, I’m just kinda questioning my abilities atm

Things I have learned today after hours of research, testing, installing, and uninstalling:
windows command line won't reload 'Path' unless you close the terminal

And its not even like I haven't figured this out before!

I *hate* it when a senior asks me to write a functional test report. Like I thought we hired functional testers to do that sort of stuff? I'm a programmer, I only write 3 things: code, documentation, and more code. Not freaking reports about how something did not work before, and after this 1-line fix does work. Oh and don't forget to include screenshots and a description of the issue. Arghhh

I have find an Easter egg on chrome for mobile that I didn't know before and by accident.
When you tap on the number on top right to see your tab and swipe the card 5 times from bottom to up the cards while make a flip.
After a search it's very old but I never notice it before.

The mission was to develop an Android application for configure some devices(who goes 4000m under the water) before and after their deployment by Bluetooth.
It was pretty cool!

I want to adopt this habit of coding one fundamental concept/tool/.. every day before/after work. I already started doing it and I've been coding sort algorithms. every morning since last week, in Java.
What do you guys think should go on the list of things to practice regularly ?

I have the first of 6 interviews next week with Google, after completing level 3 of the Foobar challenge...

I’m 100% self taught and this will be my first interview for anything development related. Needless to say I’m nervous as fuck and imposter syndrome is hitting hard.

Anyone have tips? Things you wish you knew before your first developer position interview? Or just resources? Trying to be as prepared as possible.

TLDR: Detect site visitors browser and conditionally load a Citrix frame rather than rendering the site

The request came about 3 days after launching a new project to production. For several months before that moment we had reviewed and confirmed the supported browser matrix. As you might guess plans tend to go up in smoke as we approach and pass launch. Now that we're live after all, it would be the tine to lose our damn minds rather than bask in the warmth of a successful launch for 5 minutes.

Anyway as for the actual request, after those first few days the client PM realized a FEW people were actually using IE8 and was now panicking that it was unsupported. On my way out of the building that day he asked if we could detect the browser and rather than render the site load a frame to a Citrix session that would be running the latest IE...

When you stand after waking up and have that unsteady feeling like you had been drinking the night before, but you hadn't.

Wtf, body? Is this how you thank me for not abusing you?

Set up an account on cPanel to show the client their final product. Set the bandwidth limit to a low number so that the client can only view the website once and so that if something is not right, I can blame the bandwidth error.

After the client reported an issue, fixed it before resetting bandwidth limit.

The shit code I wrote before my cs degree is marginally better than the shit code I write now. The lack of of improvement is related to the shit job I got after my degree. Cs degree did teach me a lot of good oo concepts and design.... That I rarely use due to shit legacy code I maintain.

Worst argument/fight was on a game I was working on.

One of the other devs was waiting for me to write some server Code before calling the endpoints on the client.

After writing the server Code I added the client side Code and committed it to our repo.

They had a massive go at me for doing work for them and threatened to remove my Code and replace it with their own code.

I think I joined the wrong crowd. After the recent Hackathon, I proposed that the team that I was working with, form a company in which we continue building apps, launch and try to profit. Y'know, the whole build fast and die slow kind of thing. Granted, I proposed it late November and we're all gearing up for the holidays. Now its January and everyone has this mindset of "if we don't meet, we don't get anything done" or "discuss face to face only". Guess they don't like the idea of working remotely.

I think I might just quit this venture after a couple of meetings with them before I lose my mind.

Not a b2plane post.

I'm noticing a strange behavior of my body where the moment I go in the "coding zen" feeling the first time after waking up, my body wants to poop.

Previously I attributed it to me drinking tea before starting work.

But then today, I didn't drink tea. I woke up and started working right after, and still when I hit the "coding zen" feeling, my body wanted to poop.

Wtf..

Client's Devs Yesterday: "We are ready for a production test, and should be ready to go live in 1 week."

Today after successful test: "We need 6 weeks of production before going live"

How can you be so far off on your timelines? A solo dev has done this same flow in like three weeks. It has already been three months...

I would rather create a circular inheritance class for my last task before I'm out of the company. And make some changes to the dependency injection module. Leave it blank documentation. So the one who take my position after me would get enough lesson and reason why he's not to join the company.

Switching workplace after new year.
Already told boss I'm quitting last week. And it is like as soon as It was official I lost all patience with the company bullshit and lost the little interest I had left for my daily work. The codebase seemes bad before but now it feel 100x worse.

Work ethic keeps me from doing nothing but man I just want to get out.

Will be so nice to work with a new project and code base.

Bugreport @dfox or @trogus

On the Android app, comment a rant and remove it (modify -> delete). After that the last comment before your's will go all the way to the bottom, instead of having a "spacer" for the social buttons.

Can anyone confirm it?

Dfox should make a script to pull all the creative curses from devrant and publish a list of them.

Like search for every standard curse (fuck, shit, cunt, etc) and then print them out with the five or so words before and after it to hopefully capture most of the longer creative swears.

First rant... I'm on a large project where en use Git. Apparently I am the only one who, after pulling the dev branch, do multiple local commits to track (and possibly) undo my local work before I merge into development again. Everyone else do ONE local commit. Am I gitting wrong?!

Heres a rant you dont see everyday, the lazy gits in my office who dont clean up after themselves. Go to the kitchen to make coffee only to be confronted by a mountain of dishes, the peak of which may have been level with High Hrothgar. Had to dry them and put them away before I could really even move. Like just wash something after you use it, then take the extra 20 seconds to dry it and put it away, dont just rinse it and then leave it sitting there. AAARRRGGGHHHH

Before starting the project team lead told me this is the page of apidoc which will be updated after each new service call so that the communication is clear and i know the parameter of each api call well to use them.

1 month passed and no new service call appeared so i got curious and took a look at his code. He has created 8 f****g nrw calls but did not update the docs.

I'm leaving my current job in a week. What is a great prank I can pull off on my team before/after leaving the company?

I'm more interested in a long con which plays out slowly after I leave (maybe on April fool's?) Please share if you got any cool ideas or experience.

Context: I designed and built a web app which is used to manage stuff (CRUD) related to my project internally.

I would really love to hear some funny and non-destructive suggestions.

Now its okay. The padding before and after address bar was giving me OCD.

That day when you need to restart your vsphere virtualizer after 2 and 1/2 years of uptime, just to find it won't boot in any possible way, and you rush to install it fresh on an USB drive 20 mins before your sla runs out... that day was today, fml!

Working on a bugfix which has surfaced after 2 years, I hate the way that nobody thought of perhaps tidying up a component before leaving it gathering dust. Basically found dozens sections of identical code with minimal changes both for production code and testing :/

Any other devs with PTSD here? Since the trauma I find it hard to focus on programming. Before the trauma I would code on the job, get home and code personal projects for fun. After the trauma I can barely focus on programming for work.
How do you focus?

New update available on your phone...

Wait people to teste it before installing. It look stable, ok i will install it

After the update

Fucking shit the clock is on the left side 🤮 what the fuck is this shit android... The settings menu is now a ducking mess. The finger print scan is so slow i can cooke an egg before he unlock the phone. The multi tasking screen is like iphone and look like a garbedge. Some applications rushing running.

Using a raw vmdk on windows and not knowing that after reboot windows decided to reorder my drive numbers. Then proceed to install a Linux onto an other hdd deleting the partition table and many things. Happily vbox crashed before it wrote a lot then I realized that my drive is not there anymore. Anyway photorec saved my life. I survived without any major losses.

After a week of working days of testing and development, the new feature finally finished. But my boss wasn't satisfied with the flow so he sent a revision.

After finished with revision, he still not satisfied with it and then sent another revision. This happened 3 times in a week after completing task before any revision and this week comes the fourth with some vague businesses flow. I feel like I don't have value anymore in this company.

TL;DR - I came up with an ingenious version of a solution to a problem and still got 0 marks.

In my bachelor's degree we learned about abstraction, as usual for CS degree students.

In a later exam, a coding question asked us to swap two variables values without using a third variable and print the before and after on the screen.

You can read the question above again, because wait for it....

So this is what I wrote basically (JS equivalent solution),

class Solution {
constructor(obj) {
this.var1 = obj.var1;
this.var2 = obj.var2;
}

swap() {
return {"var1": this.var2, "var2": this.var1};
}
}

let input = {"var1":5, "var2": 7}
let object = new Solution(input);
console.log('Before');
console.log(input);
let solution = object.swap();
console.log('After');
console.log(solution);

Now look, before your boomer asses jump in and say "aCkChUaLlY tHiS iS iNcORrEcT"
I did include all kinds of comments that this is abstracted. The swap function is hidden away and the object variable doesn't need to know what it's doing.

In the context of this question, this is absolutely acceptable as a solution since the end-goal is to print the results on the screen and the user wouldn't see the source code.

I still got 0 on that question and I still get pissed about it sometimes, when I remember it, like just now.

- never push to prod on friday or before lunch time
- doublecheck fucking everything
- test your code before and also after you push it
- you remember yesterday your colleague/boss/pm told you his part will be done by now? well guess what, its not! it never will be...

So I work in a startup as an intern. My tasks are usually done before deadlines. These folks pay me at my due date after reviewing my work. This month again I have completed my task, so I asked for new work. These people are waiting for my pay day. Just a few days before my pay day they will surely give me a task and question me why I haven't completed it on time. Fucking annoying...

After using and learning programming with Python for two years and getting comfortable with the language's ins-and-outs, now it has come the time to learn my second language. I selected C++, and I am so glad I waited until I understood my first language before jumping into a new one because it was worth the time. Before, C++ looked intimidating, but now I see its beauty (reasonably strongly typed language). It took me some hours to understand the basics and ended the day making a simple Python-3 adapter using C++.

Side notes:
Maybe because I am a noob, I don't see why Rust is preferred over C++?

While I only plan to use C++ to speed heavy preprocessing tasks within Python projects - I was surprised to find no NLP libraries?

Fuckers didn't even give my account access to the fucking soap action I was calling after 3 weeks of email chains and other back and forth.

First the credentials I was given "we're fully set up" and now this BS??

Fucking test your live and sandbox environments work BEFORE you let your clients start their integrations.

And if they have issues, try to emulate the e-2-e test and prove you can complete the transaction yourself BEFORE emailing back 🤦

When client for past few days tells you how important that new feature he wants is, and you should get to it asap.
But then when you actually start working on it after discussing it, specification creation and preparations, with mind set and focused, he tells you:
- 'Know what? I will need that change in the old feature before that. You can postpone the new feature by one day.'

So... How was it the most important thing in the universe again?