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I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.
Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.
He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.
I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.
I included a card:
"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"31 -
A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)
The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.
Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.34 -
Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.
17 -
Guy who was bragging about being programmer before I became one: "Best programming language is Wordpress".12
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Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.11
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The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.24 -
Me: (putting headphones on)
Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.
Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)
Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.
Me: 😃 True Indeed.
Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.10 -
*Facebook Hackers follow the Rules*
(real story)
TL;DR: sorry, not available, can't do spoilers
One night I was with a group of friends out at a pub. A guy and his girlfriend show up, I didn't know them but they were my friend's friends.
The girl kept bragging the whole time about his boyfriend being a professional programmer, trying to remind it to everybody whenever possible (don't ask me why!).
So, after a while, the discussion moves towards "suspect Facebook activities" and the guy starts saying that he can hack Facebook.
- "What do you mean?", I ask.
- "Hacking into other people's accounts, even with 2 factor authentication. I did it a lot of times"
- "Wait, and they don't notice?"
- "Of course not! ^_^ He's a hacker", the girl replies.
Ok, time to do a coming out.
- "Hey, I'm a developer myself. Can you give me an idea of what you did in technical terms? Did you find a vulnerability? Used a virus? Maybe a keylogger?"
- "No... Uh... Well... The secret is to read the terms of service"
- "What?"
- "Yes... yes it's all in the facebook terms of service..."
- "Uhm, I'm not really sure I'm following. Could you prove it by hacking my Facebook account? I'm giving you the permission".
In less than a minute the discussion flew completely away and they never mentioned computers again.
😂😂8 -
When you were growing up to be a developer and your mom brags about what a genius you were and has literally no idea what she was bragging about...
#IJustInstalledLinuxMomChill...
Funny story my step dad was bragging about me hacking Google to a group of his guys a few months ago (mind you I'm 21, he's a roofing contractor) and he calls me over and is like "yo, Jimmy. Tell them how you hacked google. (Obviously I never "hacked google", whatever that means) and this guy he's talking to say:
"Oh shit. You can do that shazz".
For my own amusement I replied:
"Yeah I hacked google last week. I HTML'd into their json databases to pull out an ASP in order to bash attack on their .Net services using only CSS"
Of course the man's only response at this point was to ask me how much it would cost me to build him a site...11 -
~yesterday at a coffee shop~
Brother *bragging* about new workstation: "he" has 512gb of ram.
His friend: imagine how many chrome tabs you can keep open at once!
Me: almost one.13 -
I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.
I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!
Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.10 -
Got a bottle of bourbon as a reward from boss after completing a task.
Thats it, just wanted to brag a little2 -
Saw a nerdy kid with an awesome coding t-shirt bragging about his immense programming and "hacking" abilities.
"What's your favorite programming language?" I ask.
"Scratch."
...
22 -
I received a shiny new pair of Bose QC 35 II's for christmas -- bluetooth headphones with active noise cancelling.
They're similar to the $500 pair my previous boss lent me at work. Lower quality, but much newer, and rechargeable! and bluetooth! Yay!
I paired them with my debian machine, and... it failed. No explanation given. I tried everything I could htink of, but nothing changed. Well, okay; bluetooth came out within the last decade or so, meaning it takes some extra effort in Debian. truth. So I did some reading on bluetooth connection issues, changed some configs, learned how to use the bluetooth cli, and used that to pair and connect them. Worked like a charm.
But! No audio.
Damn.
Cue more research (on pulseaudio this time) and more configs. Did some fiddling, etc. No progress. Also discovered `pavucontrol`, a gui-only (😕) utility which lets you select audio output devices, among other things. It doesn't list the headset. Nor does `pactl list`, but that does list the correct bluetooth modules. It also lists Lennart Poettering's name many many times, for all the good that does. Bragging about building something as needlessly complicated and crappy and buggy as pulseaudio? I will never understand that egotistical doucheballoon.
Anyway.
I paired the headset with my phone in about six seconds. I'm now controlling my phone's music via spotify on my computer. yay. Doesn't work for games or movies, but I can always just plug them in.
But woo!
Noise canceling!
Yay, silence! At last!
and music! How I've missed you!
❤💜🖤
(systemd and pulseaudio can still die in a fire.)22 -
Worst hackaton? The one when i realized too late i was stuck with a bunch of kids bragging about being "devs" because they knew how to download an html template for wordpress 😭8
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This happend to me around 2 weeks ago. For some reason, I decied to post this now.
I won the lottery, yey! I mean, bot really, but I am <19yo student, "less than junior dev" in my office, but sonce I am the only one who is capable of working with hardware, I was working month back as a sysadmin for a few days. Our last sysadmin was really good working but really, really toxic guy, so he got fired on a spot after argument with some manager or whatever, no big deal, we could have another guy hired in a week. But, our backup server literally was on fire, all data probably dead because bad capacitor or whatever. This was our only backup of everything at the time. Everyone in full fucking panic mode, we had literally no other working HW we could use for backup, but then comes me, intern employed on his first dev job for 3 months. That day I bought some HW for my own personal server at home (Intel NUC with some Celeron, 4GB DDR4 RAM and two 240GB SSDs for RAID 1. My manager asked everyone in the office for sollution how to survive next 4 days before new server arrives. People there had no idea what tk do and no knowedgle about HW, I just came from a break and offered my components for a week, since there was noone else who can work with HW, servers and stuff like this, manager offered me $500+HW cost if I, random intern, can make it work. I installed Debian on that little PC, created RAID1 from both SSDs, installed MySQL server and mirrored GIT server from our last standing server (we had two before one of them went lit 🔥), made simple Python script to copy all data on that RAID, with some help of our database guy copied whole DB from production to this little computer and edited some PHP so every SQL request made on our server will run on that NUC too. Everything after ±2 hours worked perfectly. Untill a fucking PSU burned in our server and took RAID controller with him in sillicon heaven next night, so we could not access any data unltill we got a new one. Thanks to every god out there, I was able to create software RAID from survived HDDs on our production server and copy all data from that NUC on the servers software RAID and make it working at 3 AM in the night before an exam 😂. Without this, we would be next ±40 hours without aerver running and we might loose soke of our data and customers. So my little skill with Linux, Python, MySQL and most importantly my NUC hardware I got that day running as a backup server saved maybe whole company 😂.
Btw, guess who is now employee of the year with $2500 bonus? 😀
Sorry for bragging and log post, but I was so lucky an so happy when everything worked out, good luck to all sysadmins out there! 👍
TL:DR: Random intern saved company and made some money 😂7 -
This just makes me mad every time.
I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.
If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.
Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.
After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.
Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.
But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)17 -
In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”
5 -
Am I only one thinking that Linux is kind ok cliche among programmers. Some of them brag about using Ubuntu over Windows like it makes you a better programmer. I have seen brilliant Windows developers and shitty Linux developers. My point is not that Windows is better, just stop bragging that you are using Ubuntu, it does not make you smart or better than others.20
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Just came back from a new café (to the pedantic among us, yes I know it's a bar.. get over it).
And I met some Apple fanboy 🤭
So the guy kept on bragging about his shiny iPhone 6.. and I figured that I'd chime in. Due to my short-term memory being terrible, I'll be paraphrasing here.
M: me
S: iPhone usar _/\_
M: iPhone 6 ey..? I've heard about some devices in which the old ones are throttled down in a system update "to save the battery".
S: Yes, biweekly updates!! You can even delay them to tune them down to the time during which your device is charging and can commence its system update.
M (thinking): You've clearly missed the point sir.. but on Android, system updates don't need to be willfully delayed even. They (usually) won't commence unless your device is 80% and charging. OnePlus has been an exception to this though, probably under the assumption that their users are mostly power users that know what they're doing.
M: You do realize that given that your iPhone 6 is quite old already, Apple will very likely start throttling your device during a system update in the next few months, right.
S: What the hell dude.. look, look how smoothly it's been going for the last few years!!! Nothing wrong with that.
M: Just wait until your repair bill comes from those Geniuses 🤭
M: Sir, you do realize that Apple quotes €600 for battery repairs nowadays, right.
S: What the hell dude!!! I can buy a whole new phone for that much!!
M: Exactly!! That's exactly Apple's business tactic!!! They design their phones as such that the battery replacement (one of the most common repairs) requires you to replace not only the battery, but the whole chassis!!! And on the XS, the battery replacement is nothing short of atrocious!!!
M: Here, have a look at this: https://youtube.com/watch/...
*shows Louis' newest video about him switching to iPhone XS*
S: Yeah that's just bullshit. I bet you're showing me this on one of those crappy Samsungs.
M: No sir. I'm showing this on my Nexus 6P, that is tethered to my OnePlus 6T. Speaking of which, let me introduce you to the Nexus 6P's (one of the crappiest Android flagships to ever exist) repair, the battery replacement of which I've done myself.
(you can watch the iFixit video about it here: https://youtube.com/watch/...)
*explains heatgun, screwdriver, heatgun battery replacement of Nexus 6P and the time each step takes - more than an hour combined*
S: Yeah that's because it's one of those crappy Androids. That'd never happen to this shiny iPhone, look, I've got a $20 battery right here!!!
*shows battery*
M: Sir... That's a battery for a MacBook. A laptop battery.... 🤨
I love how willfully ignorant these Apple users are. To them, all that exists is Apple and Samsung (both of which I hate because lockdown). And they apparently don't even know what repair they have to look for when they'll need one.. maybe that's why those Genius Bars exist? 🤭
I'd love to see the guy's face when the Geniuses quote him the price for battery replacement when his planned obsolescence time comes 🤭14 -
Vim users: You're the vegans of the programming world. No one cares that you use Vim.
Emacs users: You're to Vim users what vegetarians are to vegans.
Now, I'm not saying Vim is bad, or even that all Vim users are like that. I just roll my eyes every time I see someone bragging about how they use Vim.
If you wanna use Vim, use Vim. Just don't act like it makes you a superior coder.13 -
When somebody started bragging about his superior coding skill then I said that talk is cheap and that I wanted to see code (for some reason, this pissed her off) and then she started to DDoS me :^)
spoiler alert: she got a huge fine for it AND got fired from her job (whose servers she used to perform the DDoS)11 -
I’m adding some fucking commas.
It should be trivial, right?
They’re fucking commas. Displayed on a fucking webpage. So fucking hard.
What the fuck is this even? Specifically, what fucking looney morons can write something so fucking complicated it requires following the code path through ten fucking files to see where something gets fucking defined!?
There are seriously so fucking many layers of abstraction that I can’t even tell where the bloody fucking amount transforms from a currency into a string. I’m digging so deep in the codebase now that any change here will break countless other areas. There’s no excuse for this shit.
I have two options:
A) I convert the resulting magically conjured string into a currency again (and of course lose the actual currency, e.g. usd, peso, etc.), or
B) Refactor the code to actually pass around the currency like it’s fucking intended to be, and convert to a string only when displaying. Like it’s fucking intended to be.
Impossible decision here.
If I pick (A) I get yelled at because it’s bloody wrong. “it’s already for display” they’ll say. Except it isn’t. And on top of that, the “legendary” devs who wrote this monstrosity just assumed the currency will always be in USD. If I’m the last person to touch this, I take the blame. Doesn’t matter that “legendary Mr. Apple dev” wrote it this way. (How do I know? It’s not the first time this shit has happened.) So invariably it’ll be up to me to fix anyway.
But if I pick (B) and fix it now, I’ll get yelled at for refactoring their wonderful code, for making this into too big of a problem (again), and for taking on something that’s “just too much for me.” Assholes. My après Taco Bell bathroom experiences look and smell better than this codebase. But seriously, only those two “legendary” devs get to do any real refactoring or make any architecture decisions — despite many of them being horribly flawed. No one else is even close to qualified… and “qualified” apparently means circle jerking it in Silicon Valley with the other better-than-everyone snobs, bragging about themselves and about one another. MojoJojo. “It was terrible, but it fucking worked! It fucking worked!” And “I can’t believe <blah> wanted to fix that thing. No way, this is a piece of history!” Go fuck yourselves.
So sorry I don’t fit in your stupid club.
Oh, and as an pointed, close-at-hand example of their wonderful code? This API call I’m adding commas to (it’s only used by the frontend) uses a json instance variable to store the total, errors, displayed versions of fees/charges (yes they differ because of course they do), etc. … except that variable isn’t even defined anywhere in the class. It’s defined three. fucking. abstraction. layers. in. THREE! AND. That wonderful piece of smelly garbage they’re so proud of can situationally modify all of the other related instance variables like the various charges and fees, so I can’t just keep the original currency around, or even expect the types to remain the same. It’s global variable hell all over again.
Such fucking wonderful code.
I fucking hate this codebase and I hate this fucking company. And I fucking. hate. them.7 -
When managers look at my code, it’s shit, it’s over complicated, it’s overly difficult to read, it took too long, it’s too much for a simple ticket, i handled too many edge cases, we’ll never need most of it, why did I bother making it extensible when it’ll never need to change, how dare I use “unless”, why did I bother writing all these comments, why did I update the documentation that nobody reads because it’s outdated, etc. They say I should be more like the legendary devs and push janky code quickly, and complain that I don’t have any flops (problems in prod) like those are a good thing.
When my coworkers look at my code, they say it’s clean, amazingly easy to read, a monster feature that’s somehow still a joy to review and work on, it makes their lives easier, that it does exactly what it should in all cases, that they learned something from reading it, and thank me for the comments and documentation. And marvel that I finished it so well in so little time.
Am I bragging? Not intentionally; I’ve heard these things repeatedly since I started here, and the contrast between the above is so stark.
In reality, the managers are just idiots who were promoted far above their competence, and make everything worse. (Gee, who woulda thought?) It’s just so frustrating.19 -
LinkedIn feels like:
- be bombarded with recruiters messaging you
- people you don't know bragging about joining a company
- more people you don't know sharing useless advice for tons of corporate crap
Is just me or anyone feels the same?13 -
//begin midnight rant
THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)
AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.
as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.
but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)
Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket
Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).
Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.
People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.
I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm
PEACE OUT
//End of mid night rant11 -
When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...
Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.12 -
So here is my week 72 as a reviewer. But first, let me ask y'all. Am I weird to think that you should finish coding the thing and testing the thing before kicking it out to review? Cuz that's how I do it. And that is the process at my work place.
So anyway, I was doing this review. And it was very wrong. Like really, really wrong. We give a thorough intro to our product (perhaps too thorough) so this guy should have known every test case he had to cover. Or at least, if he was unsure, asked. It was all documented.
Anyway, he kicks out this peer review. First thing I notice, it is not following the standard. Fair enough, we didn't give him the coding standard. BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN MAINTAIN THE FORMAT OF THE ORIGINAL FILE. HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING!!! So I email him the coding standard and make a comment in the review. He denies the finding. No reason. Just turns it down. Strike 1.
Then, I'm going through and he didn't even cover all of the core cases. I found several core cases that he missed. And every edge case. Make a not of it. He fixes only the couple of examples I gave him. Strike 2.
Guy decided to redesign a major chunk of our interfaces. Our interfaces are not just used by us (hence interfaces). We designed them the way they were for a reason. It was not a fun design process. Myself, the architect, one of our customers, and the guy that did the implementation all told him to roll back his change. Especially since it wasn't in the scope of what he was doing. He wouldn't. Strike 3.
I go to the lead and bring him in. He has a talk with him. All of the sudden he is putting out multiple builds per finding. Like most times I will put out like 2 to 4 for the whole peer review. No he kicks out minimum one per finding and chokes the review queue. Strike 4.
Strike 5: he tells me, a former DBA, that I didn't know what I was talking about when I told him to move something into a new table, even after I told him that "while in database terms it doesn't make sense, this is for product robustness".
Strike 6: he was just a condescending asshole. Bragging about how he did this job and that job over his career. His longest position held was about 18 months. Bragged about working at my company and being some hotshot at the company: only worked here for 8 months and that was 5 years ago.
You know. I have never really wanted to fight someone after about undergrad. But he came close.7 -
What do you use LinkedIn for?
When I was in school I was told that programmers need a LinkedIn profile! So I made one, and connected to all my classmates and to this day still connect with my coworkers and other people I meet.
The platform itself is just full of people posting their accomplishments, but written out in way too long stories. Also a bunch of people share random articles I couldn't care less about.
At least once a week I get a network request from a recruiter, and from what I hear that's considered not very often. The recruiters always offer me a shitty job at a shitty place.
The whole platform feels like one big circlejerk with people bragging about their large network.
So what's the point of LinkedIn? Does anyone actually take jobs from annoying recruiters?23 -
Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’
Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”
I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)2 -
Worst thing I've seen a Dev do? Blame others even if it shows in the git blame that it is his fault 😂 no equality, ego and hard headed. Wants to show every one that he's always right 😂 well good luck with karma. What an attitude lol
-
I started attending this IoT class in some computer training school. During my first class, I was early because I had the raspberry pi class earlier in the day. A guy came up to me and started chatting to me, he was bragging about how he created some big projects, how he works in his dad's company which develops IoT products (he codes it). Later on in class he talked about how he hacked his school's server or something and changed his marks. Whenever he brags, he has a tendency to use a deeper voice (which is pretty annoying).
Anyways so I thought he is pretty good and maybe I can learn a thing or two from him. A few class later, I started having my doubts, why? Because he doesn't know how to debug code, he copies the lecturer's code and still copies it wrong, and he doesn't know what variables and constants are. He uses IE and doesn't know about GitHub.
Now he asks me or the guy in front for help in class. He makes the class more fun, it's funny listening to him brag. Love it.2 -
10 year anniversary 'celebration' for a couple of employees (one dev, one a DBA) and the VP of the department was saying kind words about them, talking about the 'good old days'.
VP to the DBA: "I apologize, when you started, you walked into my database architecture. I didn't know that much back then and never thought about the architecture much beyond a few years. Its amazing my design has lasted over 20 years and triple digit business growth..blah blah blah"
Inner voice: "Mother F-er!...My database was designed IN SPITE of your meddling and demanding to create 1,500 field tables. Shut the F up you egotistical bastard!"
I can't even count how many times I had to stop him from, for example, adding a 'ProductID' field to a Customer table.
Me: "Why did you add a product id field?"
VP: "How else will we know what product the customer wants to buy?"
Me: "You mean like a wish list? What if the customer wants more than one product?"
VP: "Oh, that’s easy, we'll create more fields when that happens. ProductID2. Microsoft made it really easy to add fields."
Me: "We already have a wish list table schema. Customer can have as many wish lists and as many products as they want."
VP: "I don't understand. All I want is a field for me to store the product I'm buying. I don't know why you make this so hard, its just one more field."
Now the VP is bragging all the success was due to his expertise?! Gaaaaahhhh!
I quelled my rage with ample quantities of donuts, juice, and chocolate milk.1 -
I've talked in past rants about how marketing loves showing off features to customers that are still in Beta to give us devs more pressure to finish them earlier, but it really just ends up screwing up our schedule since we have to push back on other features.
We had warned them not to do so for a series of reasons. But this time, this time their bad practices has come back to bite them in their butts.
They've been bragging all over to customers about this API integration we've been developing. They caught a reasonable amount of customers whose main reason for hopping in with us was this API integration. We finished the code on time, and submitted to the API provider for them to revise our "app". It's been a long back-and-forth conversation clarifying purposes and trying to fix tiny details and, of course, the providers' emails take almost a week to come back. We're waayy past the deadline marketing had promised customers, and they know they can't really blame the devs.
Sucks to lose these customers, but it feels so good to show these marketing pricks a lesson.2 -
Who am I?
Some of you, because of the hyperbolic, outrageous, trollish, and often self-satirical nature of my posts, might doubt me. Thats completely relatable.
Heres the truth:
I was diagnosed in childhood with ADHD, fucking everyone, every male, these days is diagnosed with that. I was diagnosed bipolar. Hell anyone reading my posts could see that from a mile away. I was diagnosed on the borderline personality spectrum. Yeah, I could see that.
I was tested. They said I was in the 98th percentile for clerical ability, not extraordinary but pretty good, mathematical ability a little higher than that. My SAT was 1491. Not yale material, but I coulda been someone.
Over the years I studied a LOT of politics and read a metric fuckton of books. (40+ books over the course of three years).
I predicted every single presidential election since bush juniors second election. Three supreme court picks. Senatorial elections. Congresional elections. More than that.
I have a better analysis track record than some of the multidecade analysts sitting in the fucking NSA.
No I am not shitting you. No I am not exaggerating.
It's about the only claim to fame I get to legitimately make.
People ask me, "then why aren't you famous?"
How do you know I'm not.
Look I'm gonna tell you my actual name.
My real name is Lawrence B. Lindsey
Okay, I'm bullshitting for fun. But words I have written on alt twitter accounts have legitimately come out of presidential hopeful's mouths. No, this I am *not* bullshitting you about.
Imagine that. A guy who lived in his parents attic for five years, writing words that came out of presidential candidates mouths.
At one time I was about as popular and influential as that fuckboy catturd.
yes, really. No I am not fucking joking.
Under normal conditions I wouldn't talk about this or reveal it, because who the fuck cares? I'm just some dude on the internet, drunk, both on alcohol, and the pseudo-anonymous equivalent of bragging rights.
You know how many women I turned down because I could? You know how fucking drunk I am? They say a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Well, I'm not usually honest like this because the internet is full of false braggarts, and you tell people the truth and they don't fucking believe you.
I swear, it seems like I made some faustian bargain at some time, and can achieve no fame or lasting wealth in my life--to save my life.
Shit, I was talking to a chinese women who ran a bank in china (yes, really), who advised me to buy into bitcoin early on. Didn't have the money to. Woulda been a fucking millionaire if I did.
*Non-obvious* Ideas that major corporations are now persuing? Yeah those were sitting in my card index since the early 2000s.
I helped two people build and sell businesses. One for me tens of thousands. Another for millions. Yes, really. Got zero, and I mean, *zero* credit for it.
Point is, doesn't matter how famous you are, or coulda been, Doesn't matter the ideas you have, or had.
The world doesn't promote runners-up, or hasbeens, or wannabes, or could-bes.
What matters is execution.
If you're wandering through life, wondering when you're lucky break will be, stop. You have to realize, you make your own luck. Recognize the difference between what you can control, and what you can, and work on promoting your own ideas or business or values, instead of other people's dreams.
And for those wondering, yes I am drunk, and no, I ain't fucking kidding you in anything I wrote here.
The most important lesson I learned is this:
First work on your own success, before you work on the success of others.
p.s.
I give surprisingly good advice for someone who doesn't benchmark well on traditional measures of success. I know, even I was shocked when I looked at the statistics.33 -
EoS1: This is the continuation of my previous rant, "The Ballad of The Six Witchers and The Undocumented Java Tool". Catch the first part here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The Undocumented Java Tool, created by Those Who Came Before to fight the great battles of the past, is a swift beast. It reaches systems unknown and impacts many processes, unbeknownst even to said processes' masters. All from within it's lair, a foggy Windows Server swamp of moldy data streams and boggy flows.
One of The Six Witchers, the Wild One, scouted ahead to map the input and output data streams of the Unmapped Data Swamp. Accompanied only by his animal familiars, NetCat and WireShark.
Two others, bold and adventurous, raised their decompiling blades against the Undocumented Java Tool beast itself, to uncover it's data processing secrets.
Another of the witchers, of dark complexion and smooth speak, followed the data upstream to find where the fuck the limited excel sheets that feeds The Beast comes from, since it's handlers only know that "every other day a new one appears on this shared active directory location". WTF do people often have NPC-levels of unawareness about their own fucking jobs?!?!
The other witchers left to tend to the Burn-Rate Bonfire, for The Sprint is dark and full of terrors, and some bigwigs always manage to shoehorn their whims/unrelated stories into a otherwise lean sprint.
At the dawn of the new year, the witchers reconvened. "The Beast breathes a currency conversion API" - said The Wild One - "And it's claws and fangs strike mostly at two independent JIRA clusters, sometimes upserting issues. It uses a company-deprecated API to send emails. We're in deep shit."
"I've found The Source of Fucking Excel Sheets" - said the smooth witcher - "It is The Temple of Cash-Flow, where the priests weave the Tapestry of Transactions. Our Fucking Excel Sheets are but a snapshot of the latest updates on the balance of some billing accounts. I spoke with one of the priestesses, and she told me that The Oracle (DB) would be able to provide us with The Data directly, if we were to learn the way of the ODBC and the Query"
"We stroke at the beast" - said the bold and adventurous witchers, now deserving of the bragging rights to be called The Butchers of Jarfile - "It is actually fewer than twenty classes and modules. Most are API-drivers. And less than 40% of the code is ever even fucking used! We found fucking JIRA API tokens and URIs hard-coded. And it is all synchronous and monolithic - no wonder it takes almost 20 hours to run a single fucking excel sheet".
Together, the witchers figured out that each new billing account were morphed by The Beast into a new JIRA issue, if none was open yet for it. Transactions were used to update the outstanding balance on the issues regarding the billing accounts. The currency conversion API was used too often, and it's purpose was only to give a rough estimate of the total balance in each Jira issue in USD, since each issue could have transactions in several currencies. The Beast would consume the Excel sheet, do some cryptic transformations on it, and for each resulting line access the currency API and upsert a JIRA issue. The secrets of those transformations were still hidden from the witchers. When and why would The Beast send emails, was still a mistery.
As the Witchers Council approached an end and all were armed with knowledge and information, they decided on the next steps.
The Wild Witcher, known in every tavern in the land and by the sea, would create a connector to The Red Port of Redis, where every currency conversion is already updated by other processes and can be quickly retrieved inside the VPC. The Greenhorn Witcher is to follow him and build an offline process to update balances in JIRA issues.
The Butchers of Jarfile were to build The Juggler, an automation that should be able to receive a parquet file with an insertion plan and asynchronously update the JIRA API with scores of concurrent requests.
The Smooth Witcher, proud of his new lead, was to build The Oracle Watch, an order that would guard the Oracle (DB) at the Temple of Cash-Flow and report every qualifying transaction to parquet files in AWS S3. The Data would then be pushed to cross The Event Bridge into The Cluster of Sparks and Storms.
This Witcher Who Writes is to ride the Elephant of Hadoop into The Cluster of Sparks an Storms, to weave the signs of Map and Reduce and with speed and precision transform The Data into The Insertion Plan.
However, how exactly is The Data to be transformed is not yet known.
Will the Witchers be able to build The Data's New Path? Will they figure out the mysterious transformation? Will they discover the Undocumented Java Tool's secrets on notifying customers and aggregating data?
This story is still afoot. Only the future will tell, and I will keep you posted.6 -
Overheard a dev bragging about how our site is fully PCI compliant. So much so even the invoice data is secure. My BS meter went off, so I decided to look at what 'secure' code looked like.
5 -
Even though I bragging about how good my few projects are to the people I talk to them about, I undervalue my worth as a developer.
Even though I am desperate for money, I've only recently started trying to get work in the dev community (with little success) because I actually feel that I'm not a good enough developer..17 -
Most Incompetent co-worker. It was me during my first job. Not humble bragging or some shit. I was straight out fucking incompetent during my first job.
Hear me out.
I graduated my diploma course specialising in networks(from computer to cellular/telecom networks) but I did a few programming courses and my internship was at a lab - did iOT stuffs with raspi and arduinos. I am a A+ student so was giving priority to choose a better internship place. Fun time. So I fell in love with programming. As soon as i graduated I applied for a Java job. Got a job at a domain name reseller/hosting company using java EE. Remember my programming = very basic/OOP concepts/basic SQL knowledge. That's it.
I am that little childish fucker who thought he knew everything and I kept interrupting my coworkers with stupid questions.
Same time, I was under the darkest moments of my life with some family drama/tension headaches.
2 months into the job, one coworker really got pissed off with my interruptions and bluntly told me "*my name,you are stupid aren't you"
The manager was a really nice guy. I will forever thanks him for his advices. He knew I was struggling with family shits and gave me another 3 months probation period to redeem myself. But I gave up. That was back in 2015.
It was a great place I fucked it up. But I learnt precious life lessons. I was young,stupid and didn't know how to handle stress.
I thanks myself for not quitting programming after that experience.2 -
FUCK!
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!
Fuck everyone who does this stupid fucking shit with disregard to basic security features! Their goddamn bullshit privacy policy is bragging about how it's top priority to protect their customers' information and shit like that. Get the fuck out, cunts!!
I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.
Goddamn it!4 -
Another Swedish hostingcompany bragging about the data center in New York they have. It apparently withstanded the hurricane Katrina
11 -
Prior to a tech conference in Las Vegas, the department manager held pre-meetings (yes, more than one)
with the developers to outline their expected behavior (yes, there was an outline in Word). Since
they would be representing the company, professionalism would be expected at all times, not just
during the conference. He knew he couldn’t forbid gambling and drinking, but any unruly behavior
that could reflect badly on the company would be dealt with severe disciplinary action up to and
including termination. He wrote up very detailed itinerary, what track each developer was
expected to attend, meal times (yes, what time to get up for breakfast, meet for lunch, and time
to eat at night). First day was fine, casinos are kinda crazy so having an itinerary wasn’t the
worst idea and no one got lost. Days following however, got interesting. After the first evening
meal, everyone hit the casino as expected (too much drinking, etc..normal single twenty-something
guys do) and the manager especially had a good time.
Next, and following days, the manager could not be found in any of the ‘required’ technical tracks.
Not that they cared that much, but couple of devs decided to check out the casino, and sure enough,
there he was at one of the tables, drunk, and being very loud around at 10 in the morning.
Again, nobody cared much, manager wasn’t very tech savy, and so attending a track on C #threading
would be lost on him. It was more of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind of thing.
The manager kept to the itinerary, he met everyone at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, etc, but the
‘WTF’s didn’t get good until the manager was bragging about how wonderful the conference was, how
much he was learning and couldn’t wait to get back and start implementing everything he was learning.
It was such a joke, the guys would bait him on tracks they know he didn’t attend and an amazing amount
of BS could not be believed.
On the last day of the conference several decided to follow him after breakfast to see where he went
and watched him go into a technical track, just to walk back out and straight to the casino floor.
Again, around 10, he was drunk, not quite as loud until he threw up in a trash can (they said it was quite a scene).
He left to go back his room, which they suspected he took a nap before meeting everyone for lunch.
After that, they gathered his daily itinerary was:
- Get up for breakfast
- walk around and make sure it looked like he was heading to a track
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat lunch
- walk around some more
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat dinner
- head to the casino
- wash-rinse-repeat
Last day caught up with him. After about week of drinking, staying up late, etc, his body (he’s in his mid 50’s, 350lbs+, so imagine)
kinda’ gave up. Could barely walk 50 feet without needing to sit down, and the flight back was worse for everyone,
throwing up occasionally, moaning, you get the idea.
On the following Monday with the VP if IT, everyone was discussing the conference, what they learned,
what they liked, etc, the manager also bragged, yes bragged, on how tired he was because of how much
he learned and the reason why he probably caught the flu (he couldn’t hide how sick he was on the flight)
saying “When you’re in the learning zone, you lose track of time and then you are so exhausted, your
immune system is susceptible to all kinds of things.” . VP was so impressed by his dedication and
fighting through the exhaustion for the good of the company, he gave him the rest of the day off.
Other devs? No, they had to go back to work.7 -
my friend was bragging how he could program a game on his TI-84 calculator
it was just a (buggy) random number game
I told him good job, I program a bit, too
he said "yeah? what do u do?"
I said "I made two apps"
he walked away
I thanked god -
TLDR: Ask irritating questions, you could end up saving the company money and time...
I’m working on a project where we are integrating 2 legacy web applications with each other.
Business Analyst/Project manager (BA) : Save all the contact details of the selected firm in application A into the database of application B, then expose that data later so that we can output it into the document when the user generates them.
Me: Seems a bit excessive, there’s even a fax number, nobody uses that anymore, are you sure we need all that?
BA: The old document has all that information.
Me: Please just check with client that witch fields are still needed in the document.
BA: Ok, fine, but it’s probably a waste of time…
BA: * Talks with client on phone for 10 minz *
BA: Ok client stays we only need the Lodgement Number on the document.
Me: We already store that and populate it in the document.
BA: I had budgeted 2 days labour for all that, you just saved us a lot of money!
-
I know this guy through some mutual friends that tries to brag about everything he does that involves a computer in some way.
One time (probably 4 months ago), he used inspect element to replace the text on the Google homepage with like Amazon versions (Amazon mail, Amazon drive, etc), then proceeded to take a picture of the screen WITH HIS PHONE and show every single person he saw.
Every time I talk to him, he always brings up some pointless thing he did to make it seem like he knows what he's doing. But whenever I mention some more specific stuff (today I mentioned Linux), he claims to know exactly what I'm talking about but quickly changes the subject to something about his car (he drives a Jeep and has to let everyone know, like an Arch Linux user)
Dude just claims to know everything there is to know and can't back it up and it gets more annoying every fucking day
Anyone else ever have to deal with someone that clearly don't know a ton, but knows just enough to be dangerous/annoying as fuck?14 -
Fuck the managers !! Fucking Fuck Fuck !!!
I am in manual testing for 3 years. Wanted to move in to automation since 2016 January !
They kept delaying.
While waiting I kept autating stuffs and making utilities to use for everyone.
Recently automated a 5 yr old manual process.
Made an utility that can perform a 5 hours manual activity in 5 mins.
Our automation team had a vacancy.
The managers were asked to nominate names who could fill the spot from the current manual team.
They didn't suggested my name.
I am not bragging but I am the only person in the team who nows Selenium , UFT , Java , Python even though being in the manual testers.
The team is going to hire someone from the outside.
I just got to know it all this today.
These bastards should die in hell !!!!
I hate these bastards !!!!6 -
I live in a 3rd world country so we don’t have a lot of technological advancements as compared to to developed countries. This means true technological talent is very rare maybe 0.01% of the people in the space, which in this case is programming. Why then do these dumb Fucks who didn’t even score good enough grades to attend any computer science related course which aren’t even that high, so high minded(pun may be intended). Seriously every time i meet someone somewhat capable in their domain e.g. mobile devs or frontend devs, talk like they can move the fucking world and change the course of humanity but when you ask them to pass down the knowledge you will receive a fuck u note of no reply. This pisses me off because I thought because of our slow progress in catching up with the world we would have communities that aim to expand the knowledge of everyone and help everyone help themselves.
I write this because I’ve attended so many meetups around my area and every time I ask someone for help to get to some enlightenment as they have the reply is always put down your email and I’ll send it to you and this is the last you ever hear from them.
The worst part is you’ll see them bragging on local forums about how awesome they are and see them poking holes at other peoples attempts. Seriously if you are so great why aren’t the tech giants of the world salivating over your talents.
Personally I believe that these people are afraid that once they pass the knowledge someone will beat them at it and they won’t be as “awesome” as they initially thought.
That said not everyone is like this we have some good eggs in the basket. To the others I would like to let them know that we can’t know everything and someone somewhere is always gonna be better than us, a candle never loses its light by lighting another candle. If you are one of these people please try and make a change. You never know what’ll come out of it.1 -
Antergos is going out of the play. And i saw a very click baity article which poised the following statement at the end:
"Is the death of Antergos a major loss? No, not on its own. Despite the developers bragging about over 900,000 downloads (over the last five years) it’s hardly a popular operating system. Still, its demise is a part of an emerging trend where developers don’t have the resources to continue a project. And both the Linux and Open Source communities should be very worried about that. Developing for love or as a hobby simply isn’t sustainable."
Now, this is, at least to me, bullshitty in the sense that the open source community does not really have anything big to worry about. Large pools of companies would make yeary investments in open source codebases due to the ammount of usefulness they present to their companies. More and more great open sourced projects come out every year OUTSIDE the all eating scope of just web development(which to an extend is fine since it brings communities together)
Saying that a hobby isn't sustainable is funny in itself really.
If people don't have the time to support a hobby project because they are moving on to bigger and better things in shit that actually pays then I am glad for them. It tomorrow Arch, Debian, pop os, ubuntu and fucking freebsd goea out then I would have something to bitch about.
Till then, stating that the community haa something to worry about is just bullshit.3 -
Basically any meeting where "the big bald" (a.k.a our manager) was present...
It always started professional and alright but it often took only around 5 minutes before the asshat started bragging about "his past accomplishments", his life when he was younger and often a lot of shit that wasn't exactly respectful to women...
I'm not an SJW, nor am I the most "female-friendly" person out there myself...
But the things he said repeatedly, made me come really close just punching him in the face. -
[SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED, PLZ HELP]
I am going to school again for like 4 days from tomorrow (don't ask me why, blame the government) and I feel a bit depressed. I just don't know what I have done in the last 2 years.
What I learned:
- Bunch of stupid facts from devRant
- C# stuffs
- Games are expensive
- Music production
And.... that's it, tbh
I don't really have "PERSONAL PROJECTS" that everyone is bragging about, I just have bunch of empty projects with a cool name but just Program.cs in it.....
I am worried of what to do now.
I just feel I made the wrong choice going with C#.
I just feel I should have went with JS.
With JS, you can do
- React Native + Cordova + Titanium + etc and make native android/ios/wp apps
- The WWW stuffs
- Electron --> Cross platform desktop apps (win/mac/linux)
- UnityScript (deprecated, but whatever) --> Games
So, what I am seeing now is a thick fog in the way to my future + career etc.....
I am stuck rn.
Please help.
Should I continue with my pace and learn more C# and the things I do rn, or change the language and start from scratch, or as a last resort, leave the "make stuff by coding" industry and go to music industry, or just go to the airport and do planespotting and upload in youtube to earn money?
Serious advice please, and no jokes about C# and JS. These languages may suck, but YOUR language may suck more.10 -
!dev
Look what I'm fixing to say is gonna make seem like a cunt and it'll probably be deserved but at the same time, I think it should be said too.
The increasingly high number of people fishing for compliments and attention because of their CHOSEN profession being important in the current times is starting get old as fuck.
I've seen so many people fishing for compliments; rather it be medical workers or truck drivers because their job is more important now than usual.
Like don't get me wrong, they're all necessary for society to function. But for crying out loud y'all chose this profession for yourselves. You knew this could happen whenever you decided to go to school for your job. You don't hear server admins bragging and fishing for attention whenever they restore access to a service.
Just do your job, know that everyone appreciates what you're doing even if it's not being verbally said, and let it end there. Personally feel that if you went into the medical field for the praise and recognition, then you went in there for the wrong reason.
Anyways, y'all stay safe and let's get this shit show over with already. Ya boy is going insane5 -
!Dev
As a something-designer and content writer, you would say I am pretty much used with people stealing my ideas and then bragging with them, right? Well, yeah, but not when I am fucking backstabbed by my OWN FUCKING ASSHOLE-FIANCE (hi, hun).
In our little depressing family, I am the one with ideas. One day he starts to work at a little very basic app and he starts bragging with it at me (mostly disrupting me while working). So I start giving him ideas based on what he experienced at work and what he could add to this management app so nobody will get the same shit as he did + several things + I basically designed it from scratch, how it should look, what it should do, who should access what etc. Anyway, he starts implementing them and then I told him „Well this is nice, how about we sell it”. I advise him on what kind of possible clients he should search for and how to negotiate and etc. Well, he goes to a meeting with somebody interested in this application, after, he calls me back AND HE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THIS TO ME :
- Good news, MY APPLICATION would lead us in*blabla* market.
BITCH, YOU BETTER SLAP YOURSELF `CAUZ EXCEPT FOR THE CODE THAT SHIT IS MINE ALMOST FROM SCRATCH. SO SCREW YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED TO SUCK YOUR OWN DICK.
(i said that to him on the phone)19 -
When I was in my first year in university, at the Introduction to Programming class, we had to do a Java project and my partner was someone who was always bragging about how much he knew about programming. Me being someone who was learning programming by the moment I started the course I thought he was going to help and teach me cool stuff.
The first phase was due to deliver in one week and literally my code was all original and my partners code was all copies of others work. Out project could'vw been graded 0 because of his code (because they used a programm that compared variables of each project to see if.they fins copies). He practically didn't gave the effort to try to code, just copies. I spent the whole week correcting his work so that I wasnt penalized in the end...1 -
Anyone ever wondered how hard it is to fill feedbacks and performance growth of your own, which the manager will be evaluating..
The situation is so ironic.. u want to write the best about you, but don't want to look like bragging abt yourself in the same time..4 -
Having a complete front end and back end application where the frontend is designed to look as simple as possible.
A new potential customer wants to have our app and listens to a designer bragging that its just replacing 2 fields.
After a while our manager comes by and mentioned that everything needs to be done within a few weeks....
All devs lose their mind since in the backend we need to have like 8 external sources to connect and hundreds of business rules to implement.
How a single designer ruined the year for 7 devs....1 -
So... concerning the rant on here: https://devrant.com/rants/4299469/...
I'm making my comment as a separate rant because the thread from the original rant was too long and also slowly deviated outside context.
"Why has the rate of female developers reduced overtime?".
Here is my take:
It's natural and I'll explain why I think so...
During my computer science school days we had seventy two (72) males compared to just twelve females (12) in class. The girls could compete in theoretical grounds but when it comes to real coding they were no where near.
This boils down to the passion for programming as a real world subject. In programming you feel rewarded when you "fix a bug" and you're filled with pride when you "learn a new language". This reminds us of the scientific research of boys being more attached to reward engaging activities, most times for bragging rights while for the girls they'd prefer compassionate activities where they can easily be noticed, but unfortunately enough in programming "you only notice yourself".
We can clearly see the mode of career options in our world today...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interfering with people (Compassionate reward)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Front desk officer... Female populated
* Support personnel... Female populated
* Nurse... Female populated
* Flight attendant... Female populated
* Childcare workers... Female populated
* Preschool/KG Teachers... Female populated
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interfering with things (Intrinsic reward)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Engineer... Male populated
* Electrician... Male populated
* Welder... Male populated
* Carpenter... Male populated
* Programmer... Male populated
From the list you'd notice females prefer jobs that are compassionate in reward, require minimal physical activities and also able to make them easily recognisable.
On the other list, male populated jobs are intrinsic in reward, physically inclined, working more with things than with people.
Now seeing the clearer picture, we could sincerely say this is nature at its finest because we have here a balance. Females are kid bearers and we shouldn't be surprised that they are more compassionate to people than with things. Males have more pride than compassion which is needed to protect a family and this indirectly affects their choice of selection.
In reality...
Females are more attracted to Males with pride.
Males are more attracted to Females with compassion.
I would say, it's all the doings of nature affecting our unconscious career options while we seek to find our purpose in life.29 -
Bragging about knowing how to hack the company's emails definitely gets you into trouble. And then coming out clean and saying it was all a bluff still gets you into trouble. Hacking jokes in the office is same as a bomb joke in public(crowded) places.
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Y'know, up until now, everyone was just bragging about who has the most ++s... (I'm kidding, that didn't really happen... I think...?)
But now that we have ++s in binary, we can literally brag about who has the LONGEST... string of ++s.
Not... something else. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh well, size doesn't matter anyway.
Happy Easter/April Fools! °u°2 -
ok, fuck people. i mean the people who talk about things that are a big deal. you don't need to take a course in html/css to build a website, you need documentation.
people act like programming languages are a whole separate literacy. they're not. it is not a big deal, nor an accomplishment of any significance, to learn any language to a basic extent. variables, control flow, functions and scope should not be considered challenging topics, and people should stop bragging about them. i'm pretty sure this is because programming is new. as people, i think when something is new we tend to think of it as more complex and harder to understand. basic programming is not that.
ok that was a tangent from my real point. college is a scam. anyone can learn anything from books and the internet. any time you want to learn about something, go to google, and search "${my topic} site:*.github.io" and you'll have a page about that topic written by someone who is knowledgeable and passionate of the topic. colleges don't teach people how to think like these books/websites do. and i'm fucking sick of people who'd rather see a degree then a portfolio. fuck them shits bro. i can distinct my smart friends because my smart friends speak logically and enjoy becoming smarter. i would take the kid who watches aerodynamics videos on youtube and then built a plane over a kid who studied and got a five on his ap physics exam. watching then doing is better learning than watching and repeating. after all, creativity is not at all measured in our grades, and i'd like to argue that sometimes intelligence isn't even measured. i mean, people can say they're good at math, but the kids who talk about fibinnoci numbers and why there can never be two primes more than 7 (i if i remember properly) integers apart or the ones who prove cryptographic algorithms. i guess what i'm trying to say is the dumb kids aren't dumb and the smart kids aren't smart (well not that) but kids who are passionate and just do something instead of waiting for their degree to do the same thing are the best and brightest. i forgot what i was talking about. sorry it is almost 2 am and i am intoxicated , and i don't believe i got my point across very well either.9 -
@rutee07 is gone! Yaaaaaay!
Now, as I have your attention: on a serious note, your dick size-bragging, vulgar blabbering was fun for a moment, but this is what happens when you’re not truly being yourself. In real life, you’re a woman, I don’t know why you had to invent all that persona based on genitals you don’t have to pose as someone else. Without irony, I really liked when in your latest rants and comments your mask begun to slip, and you wasn’t afraid to show your true personality — complex, vulnerable, beautiful.
I forgive you. Perhaps, Rutee as a persona _should_ die, superceded by true you. I adore the gesture, and you will be missed.9 -
People completing Stanford + Andrew Ng's course and bragging how they know machine learning in and out while having no idea how to code simplest application using the simplest libraries.3
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I feel like ubuntu gets too much attention. While it is good (even though I used it for all of about 3 weeks) it gets way too much attention and I don't know why. I can also say the same about mint. These two distros are probably the most well known and I find they actually lack a bunch of things that I love in my distro. Ubuntu has effectively branded gnome and is basically always bragging like "hey look our animations are at a high fps now" when kde plasma has been doing that for ages. Gnome and cinnamon (i find ) lack a lot of customization options and generally aren't really fun to work with. I eventually settled with arch using kde because I wanted an os that was going to be hard but would be forgiving in it's challenges and customiZations and I got that. Ubuntu and mint can be good for first timers but I feel like they get more attention then they should and others don't get as much.
Sorry for the terrible rant with probably a lot of typos. It's late and I have an opinion, it is always dangerous when I have an opinion. I don't mean to offend these distros or their users. What I say is my opinion and what I believe but hey I might be wrong.
Thanks5 -
Yet another bragging right photo from a friend but honestly it looks like a clumsy setup IMO. Like why would you fix the monitors horizontally. Why?
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!rant
So this happened sometimes ago.
We ,primarily, makes accounting software with industry specific integrations of manufacturing,etc. A soon-to-be new client visited our office for a meeting and a quick demo.
He's not satisfied with his current software and wants to switch but keeps bragging about how his current software operates and it's easier for him.(Only because he's been using it for years.)
NC : We used to do like that. Blahblahblah.
My Boss : Well, I built this new office last year. I visited "Taj Mahal" just before that. It was so beautiful. But it doesn't mean I should build a "Taj Mahal" for my office because it's not practical. Same goes for this software.
The client has a great sense if humor. He burst into laughing after 5 secs of silence. Not a single word of his current "system" after that.
PS : My first post.2 -
TLDR; After my dad was lazy, I assembled the parts myself.
As far back as I can remember, if I think of my father he is sitting behind his pc playing games. It was like me, his escape.
When I was between 3-5 years old he upgraded his pc to one that supported windows 95. The most exciting thing I remember about his new pc is that it had a sound card or what passed as one anyway - think polyphonic ring tones in place of onboard beeps. It was fucking awesome.
He gifted his old 386 to my brother and I which we spent a blissful year or so playing DOS games on until it finally died. I wouldn't have access to a home computer again until I was 11 - touching my fathers computer was out of the question, never mind actually using it.
The reason I didn't have access to a pc was simply because he didn't replace his pc - he made minor upgrades to it until he died with a whopping 512mb of RAM. Seriously his pc specs were a bragging factor like geek porn - better than any else's I ever saw including his I.T friends (he was an electrical engineer), everyone knew this apparently aside from his boss...
Auto-cad started becoming a thing and my father for the first time ever had a reason to actually do work on a computer, he immediately used the opportunity to leverage his company into paying for a pc. To get better "value" for the company he ordered the parts in place of a pre-built machine - in reality he blew 90% of the budget on a new motherboard and graphics card to upgrade his own pc and the cheapest entry level components for everything else. The day they arrived he upgraded his own pc, threw the excess parts into a box and told us it was our new computer which he would put together over the weekend. He didn't.
After 3 months of nagging I was fed up and taking liberties with him that landed me more than one hiding, at some point he was over it and told me if I wanted something that badly I should do it myself. He walked into my room after becoming concerned if I had run away/hurt myself since he hadn't heard a whistle from me in 6 hours and I was battling my ass off trying to install windows 98.
He inspected my assembly gave me an approving nod and showed me that the hard drives physical jumper was set to slave and the rest is history. I hadn't used windows before, or built a computer let alone used one in years but somehow I always knew, it just clicked and made sense to me.
I didn't truly recognise just how much I had learn't watching him play DOS games over his shoulder and clean/upgrade his pc. It changed everything and thanks to only being allowed to watch him use a pc, once I finally had access to my own computer again I revered it and all it's possibilities. I knew I should use it to do something special. -
Fucking fuck! How could I be so naive?
I just started my masters in Enterprise Software Development. It's basically the continuation of the CS BSc I finished this year. I don't consider myself a lazy and bad dev and I finished in the top 5-10% of the class - I say this not because I want to brag, I know I'm not the best, I know I have my defects, BUT I don't think that it's a good sign that all of us, my top graduate friends all full of hate and anger against this whole MSc after just a week. And... It's mostly one fucking egoistic teacher's fault.
Okay, all of us are working full time which is obviously tiring if you combine it with the university classes. But I still think I could manage this first week better, if I wouldn't fucking came to the same line of the faculty.
I deeply fucking hate that I've been naively thinking that the masters will be different after experiencing one of the worst teachers last year. It's fucking first week, and I can't change the specialization anymore, only give up. I wanted to fill up the void with some usefulness, but I just fucking messed it up.
This "beloved" teacher is from the industry, he has a lot of experience and started to teach recently. Which is not a problem, no! It should be a great thing by default. But the way he holds his courses is inaccaptable. I don't think I have the right to share everything, but the following stuff just grinds my gears... Like a fucking lot:
1) He brags about a lot of stuff. Like he made really good deals in the past. Why should we know, that he made a contract with a client for 20 million euros. Okay. Whatever. That doesn't help us, and I think that bragging makes him look like an egoistic scum.
2) I hate this one the most: he fucking says that we have a choice in the administrative stuff. He gives us some hope and offers the possibility to argument and come up with our own solutions for grading and etc. But oh boy, is this a false hope, a fake idea of free will. He already knows what the final solution will be and on what kind of decisions will we all "agree". He did this last year, he does it again. Fucking naiveness of mine...
3) Lastly, he decided, that we have to go to theatre with him, all of us. No exception. And I like the theatre. But only when it isn't forced. Why and how could you pair this up with the grade you give to your students? Because that's what he does.
FML. How can I already hate this? How can I already be fed up with all the stuff? Anyways, I'm signing the contract with the university tomorrow, so let the fun games begin... I know, I look like a whining little boy now, but I just fucking had to went it after this deep fried shit-day. I probably have to get some sleep, and everything's gonna be fine. Eventually, skipping classes might become necessary in order to bear all this shit.6 -
I prefer a small company with good interpersonal bonds rather than a large company full of pretentious, obnoxious and disconnected co-workers.
I've been in both situations and the first one definitely beat the second one for me. Lunch at a large company.. shudders.. what a nightmare: forced topics, bullying, disconnect, bragging,.. Then again, small companies aren't innocent either; I've been to a crappy one too. It all depends on the people and how down-to-earth they are.
My two cents.3 -
Just reported a minor tracking bug I found on WebKit to the WebKit bugzilla, and I have a few thoughts:
1. Apple product security can be kind of vague sometimes - they generally don't comment on bugs as they're fixing them, from the looks of it, and I'm not sure why that is policy.
2. Tracking bugs *are* security bugs in WebKit, which is quite neat in a way. What amazes me is how Firefox has had a way to detect private browsing for years that they are still working on addressing (indexedDB doesn't work in private browsing), and chrome occasionally has a thing or two that works, with Safari, Apple consistently plays whack-a-mole with these bugs - news sites that attempt to detect private browsing generally have a more difficult time with Safari/WebKit than with other browsers.
I guess a part of that could be bragging rights - since tracking bugs (and private browsing detection bugs, I think) count as security bugs, people like yours truly are more incentivised to report them to Apple because then you get to say "I found a security bug", and internal prioritisation is also higher for them. -
Have you ever experienced receiving this type of footer in mail?
Img is a sample.
Hate it. Especially first time email contact. It feels like bragging.
"Hey! I'll send it to you via iPhone!"
I know you got an iPhone but if you are an applicant, a proper signature would've been great.
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How to nicely inform a designer that he is not worth the money he is getting and to stop bragging about it?7
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What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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Knowing SQL does not mean knowing all the existing technologies that uses SQL, motherfucker! Stop bragging around that you know Postgres, SQL Server, Oracle and shit.
IT is full of shit talkers and ego, NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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I know some will relate.
That moment when your friend won't stop bragging about being bilingual and you shut him down by stating you are fluent in 10 languages ..... Java, PHP, C++, etc..
Yeah I am that guy :p1 -
I am getting tired of people bragging about being pissed off by their families and wanted escape to work office. Is family really worst than some random crowd at your company?10
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Summing up my cynicism.
I live on a big shit pile in the middle of nowhere where biggest achievement is travel around the globe. It doesn’t matter that you can do it under a day using special piece of paper that everyone is bragging about.
At the same time I am trapped inside sack of meat that is slowly putrefy and is highly vulnerable to everything on this fucking place. Sooner or later I will shit under myself again.
And I even didn’t stared cause the real problem is that I can’t get the fuck out of here and everyone try to convince me that what I do is “important” and I need to start a family and shit like that, yet everyone believes in some higher power that says you don’t need all of this shit. Like what the fuck people ?!!?!!
How the fuck did I get here ? I must have been making jokes from someone important. If it’s true I’m really really sorry and now please get me out of this nightmare. I know I did something wrong and I sincerely apologize. Are we good now ?
Fucking hell !!!3 -
Stoners who are bragging the worst. They can not function properly and worst it, they are not aware of the fact they are making themselves more and more idiot as time passes.
Normally, I wouldn't care stupid people to get more stupid, when you are trying to cooperate with them in any case, they are pain to deal with.42 -
Coworker during standup this morning: yeah i couldn't work saturday on the project because of VPN problems but i'll stay longer today.
Scrum master goes home.
Coworker, literally 8:10 hours later. Goes home.
He bugfixed another project for an hour and told me i had to work on this project instead of helping another client.
Meanwhile he's bragging about all the experience he has and telling he wants to be the lead dev.
I thought he started early but nope. First drank coffee for another 15 minutes.2 -
Machine learning. People started picking up ml and bragging about machine learning. Sure it’s an obvious industry that is going to pick up, but thousands of people picking up the same subject is going to make the industry stale and people are going to find better alternatives and won’t be as successful as some think imo (I could be wrong, don’t attack me).3
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Today I was interviewed for the position of SDE at an e-commerce company.
Two guys were in the interview panel.
The amount of attitude these guys had up in their ass was really remarkable. I was not aware that people could store such a huge amount of crappy attitude up in their asses.
Discussions were never open ended, one of the guy was just bragging about himself.
I really fucking hate these kind of people.1 -
Folks are bragging about having 99 microservices. I don't know for what joy folks create that much microservices. They may have their own reason. I'm trying to understand what is the workflow for small companies with few microservices. Could anyone shed some light? I'm thinking of building orchestrator where I don't have fancy features like k8s and get the basic job done. Focused more on simplicity and UX.4
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Is a masters degree in IT worth it? I mean I've just started my masters in Software Engineering after my Computer Science bachelor's and I expected to learn something useful from it. So far they have taught only bullshit and stuff that I haven't found useful since I've started my IT career 3 years ago (now I am the team lead at a small startup, and I consider myself a really good developer). To summarize, is a masters diploma useful? Will it help me with anything, give that I've started working as a developer (freelancer, didn't know much back then) when I was still in high school (CV bragging rights)?8
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I ain't bragging here but help me.
I'm going through a breakup and other physical and mental anxieties.
But suggest me some good resources that can help me out cop up with programming i (python and js)
Every little suggestion will be appreciated .2 -
New office stories during the emotional turmoil...
Story 1: The creepy fuck
So being unaware of the fact that I was connected with this guy on LinkedIn already.
Ron walks upto my desk and greets me on my first day on floor. Weird, but whatever.
I politely interact, because gotta make friends and create my following to get shit done.
The next day, randomly comes asking for a laptop sticker and I am like WTF! He is like sticker was an excuse, I just wanted to say Hi!
👀
Day 3: same random creep shit. Talks about personal topics and invades personal space uninvited.
Day 4: Keeps starring at me while I ignore and judges me evidently with stupid suggestions on how to exist without being asked for.
Fuck this guy.
Story 2: The classic case of Dunning Kruger effect
So I get introduced to my tech team today and everyone start piling on me to guide them on decision making. The CTO creates a Slack thread with me and Co-founder asking me to get things moving on priority.
The co-founder shut him out right away. Fucking hilarious.
But, a retard starts schooling me on how to use Slack. Lmfao.
Me being polite, said I'll follow.. dude starts bragging on how he wrote company policy to get everyone on Slack yada yada..
To be honest, the Slack experience is beyond broken based on what these idiot has setup.
He literally opened my Slack and responded to the CTO thread.
That's where I got pissed. I upfront told him that hey! Calm your tiddies down. I know how to use Slack. I have used it since it was in the beta.
I have been in much much mucy bigger orgs and places more well structured than what you have here.
I told him on his face what the flaws where and how I felt a downgrade from where I am coming from.
The look on his face was priceless and he started sweating. Lol
Never again he'll school anyone.
I mean I understand if you are humble and genuinely guiding a new hire. But being cocky unnecessarily and shoving things down my throat without yourself knowing shit or know about the other person is purely asshole move.
Anyway, I am still upset about the scam. Fuck this world.5 -
Not bragging, when I was in EE Engineering dept, programming with C grade was A1. When I realized I was terrible at ee and wanted to switch to a new dept, I have choosen comp eng because sw dev would give me the most money for the least effort.
TLDR: GREAT MONEY, LOW EFFORT.4 -
when xcode fails to load swift package dependency, it just fail silently, it removes targets from my build menu quietly and say nothing about why that fail, leaving me stranded and confused and spent hours to figure out why the target defined in the package.swift file just doesn't show up. I remember "UX" used to be the buzz word Steve Jobs bragging about?1
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When you configure your profile picture on the mobile app, you can clearly see the points needed for each item, including what you've already unlocked.
It would be nice if this could be carried over to the web version as well. -
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Students should check the introduction part of the sample and the method of presenting the topic in it. In addition, the writer should formulate a close link of the topic problem with the thesis statement of the essay. However, as admission officers do not expect candidates to write research papers as their admission essays, the topic question and hypothesis of the essay should be very simple and easy to understand.
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im in my finals and we are having a course that requires project in python ,django to be specific , i downloaded a four hour python video for over a month, i ve been feeling reluctant to watch it, felt python is too simple to take such time , just continued with my django 🤣😂😂😘
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bezelless ist just an fbi-method to avoid sticky tape over the camera for it would affect the screen.
seriously i am just excited and a bit bragging over my new black friday xps13 93003 -
i wanted some advice on career progression. I am a CS graduate from 2020, have been a decent mobile dev for last 3 years and switched 2 companies so far. i currently have an average ctc (considering i reside in the world's most populated country) as a junior dev.
i want to grow but don't know the next steps. here are my options:
1. stay in the same company . role growth: senior in 2 years , more senior in 4 years . comp growth : avg 10% every year
>> this feels okay-ish path but 10% growth seems very less
2. switch every x years . role growth : unpredictable. comp growth min 30-50%
>> this has been my approach. as i grow bore of a company, i switch . the first time i got a 200% hike, but at that time, i was already earning very less. however companies do not usually take you for a senior role unles you were a senior before, so i think i am losing something here
3. do a masters in tech . comp growth : ? role growth :0
>> this is an unknown territory for me. i haven't heard of anyone bragging about how they did a masters in some tech field and got a better job/position. most people prefer masters in business or do a masters in tech only if they had a poor bachelors degree
4. do a masters in business. comp growth ? role growth?
>> another unknown territory for me. i really wanna consider a managerial position, just because i want to be leading the action , but that's probably because of being a beta guy in all my life and not just the tech/work.
1. managers have a great comp but they also get fired more often than techies. how do you become a good manager/vp/director etc?
2. what are your goals, how do you improve/work upon the goals as a manager?
3. how do you grow as a manager?
honestly i put a lot of tasks and capabilities into one category : the skills of a manager. but i think there might be different roles for such categories. let me know which one is which and if they are worth going into:
1. an x is a person that researches on market trends, other companies, amtheir audience etc and come up with new ideas to implement and improve growth/business of the company
2. an x is a person that makes sure that devs , qa, designers etc are aligned , knows what to do , clears their doubts and ensure the proper functioni5 of the team and timely releases of new features.
3. an x is an ambitious and curious person who can think of new , original ideas.
4. an x is a person with all knowledge of product features.
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in all above statements, is x== junior manager? then what are senior manager, vp, directors, president, tech lead, qa,etc?
also how can one start to become x?6
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