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Real HR policy ...
HR Manager in Heaven!!!
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "
"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules."
And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies9 -
A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.
I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.
The other reason was porn of course.
I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.
To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.53 -
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, lounge, pub, tavern, night club, mini bar, drinks.5
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Maintain your LinkedIn, write little articles about implementations on a tech blog, check issues on popular github projects and make PRs, create a portfolio website. Register as a company and do some freelance work, even if it's just a cheap website for your grandma's knitting club.
Do the tour/tutorial of every popular language/framework. Learn the basics of react/vue as a backend dev, learn some sql as a frontend dev. Set up a vps server at DO or AWS, host a few small services. Fullstack is bullshit, but communication is key in development, which means you need to know about the whole playing field.
Recruiters can be useful, but knowing developers in your area is even more valuable. So especially if you're unemployed, go to hackathons, conferences and meetups.4 -
100 applications did not do the job. 1 night out did...
After approximately 3 months of endless applications, interviews and rejections i was feeling depressed. One of those nights i went drinking and ended up in a club at 3am...i was tired. I wanted to leave. My gf wanted to stay and tried hard to convince me. As part of that effort, she introduced me to a guy who she claimed to have similar interests with me.....
....4 hours later...I got the job. I am now writing this story from my office...11 -
At a club because other people wanted to and I was wondering why I hated them...
They're still playing the same mainstream bullshit as five fucking years ago, drunk people everywhere and so on.
Someone please get me out of here 😥15 -
School principal : P / Me : M / Interviewer over Skype : S
P. I recently heard you run a software club in our school.
M. Yes. (started from March)
P. Well, one software community seems that he found you somewhere, and asked me if we can do a quick interview.
M. Sure. What is it?
P. So he will connect to skype.
M. Let's start then...
*A few moments later...*
M. Wwwwhhhhaaaaattttttt?
P. Calm down! What's the problem?
M. How can I have more than 5 years of android development?
S. Ok. Recorded. Next question.
M. (uhhh)
*A few moments later...*
M. What? Why in the heck do I use subversion?........
Yes... Ah... Ummm....
No! Why should i make a gui client for subversion?
*A few moments later...*
S. Do you have hacking experience?
M. Of what? I know hacking is illegal here..
S. Like... Anything!
M. Do YOU have an experience?
S. Yup.
M. What?
S. Google.
M. How?
S. (silence) Ok. Let's move on.
M. (wtf is this guy)
*A few moments later...*
S. Okay. We were about to hire you but you didnt met our job requirements.
M. ......What? What was the job?
S. Web developer Intern
M. I got no questions regarding "web".
S. I know devs should be great at all things.
M. Shut the hell up. What company are you?
S. (says something)
M. (Searches in google) Doesnt come in search results.
S. Where did you searched it? (trembling voice)
M. (Searches in naver, search engine of korea) Nothing. Are you sure you are a company?
S. (ends call)
Hate these fake interviews. And i have no idea how they found my school
I never wrote my school anywhere.12 -
🎉 As of today, I can proudly count myself among the members of the "Killed Prod on A Friday Afternoon" club. 🎉16
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So apparently devRant is a problem in my life. As those of you who've read any of my stuff here know I work at Victoria's Secret. So two of my friends come in just before I was ending my shift to see what the plans were for tonight. The usual - hit the club, crash at one of our houses.
Thing is, I was scrolling through devRant when they walked up. (the below is paraphrased)
Friend1: Ugh, you're still on that thing?
Friend2: Is she really? <looks over my shoulder>
Me: <eyeroll>
Friend2: I don't get it. <pokes me in the left tit> You barely post on Instagram and you don't tweet anymore. And you haven't commented on any of my posts in like days. Wtf bitch?
Disclaimer: Yes, we are those girls who talk like that and go clubbing and dress up and makeup and all that shit. Don't judge me because I don't give a fuck. Anyway...
Friend1: Seriously.
Me: Really? We're doing this? Because I haven't posted on fucking Instagram? I talk to you every day. I see you every other day. I like coding. I like tech. This place is awesome and the people are cool. If I want to see your ass or your outfit, I can just look at you. I don't need to be on Instagram 24/7.
Friend2: Jeez bitch. Need a tampon
<we all laugh>
Me: This is my thing. It doesn't mean we aren't friend and we won't chill, but my future is in development and technology. So deal hoes.
Friend1: Ugh you're such a nerd.
Friend2: <laughing>
Me: And you're both like totally vapid sluts. But I love you.
Friend2: Jelly
Friend1: Totes jelly. Girl you need some vitamin D
Me: I'm sayin'. But that doesn't mean I won't spend my free time coding.
Friend2: Ugh alright we don't give a fuck. Code or whatever. Just be ready at 11.
We all flip each other the bird and they leave. I guess if that's the level of acceptance I can get from my wonderful, gorgeous, annoying, amazing, asshole best friends, I'll take it. I am not changing my path.69 -
I can’t count money as quick. I don’t know how to operate a cash register. I’m bad at following small tasks in the kitchen. Ex: girlfriend yells at me for putting unstrained yolk in recipe (after straining it).
I can’t lift heavy stuff. Out of breathe helping my mom move. My uncle told me, “if you can’t do that, how can you work?” Then he touts his son around proudly for being in the army. I felt like shit for years.
My cousins told me to get a job at McDonald’s to learn the value of a dollar. I spent all this time studying and hadn’t found a single job at the time (not that I was looking). I was living off financial aid and some income from an app that sold for a dollar on the App Store.
I would mess up if I worked there. It was depressing guys. These people who worked at McDonald’s and Starbucks. It was like a cool club that I couldn’t be a part of! I wanted to be that smooth barista at Starbucks with a smug look on my face. Making coffee for all the ladies and writing hearts next to their name on the cup.
The responsibilities of going to work day after day and blowing your paycheck at a meal at Denny’s with your friends. Complaining about not getting enough hours and talking about adult stuff! Sigh sigh sigh. Oh and taxes! Let’s complain about taxes on a single W-2 just for the hell of it (not sure why they do this when you can file a simple 1040EZ) even though we get a refund.
Then..
After many paid internships (roughly 3), now I may be receiving an offer that is 100k+ with a 401k and all benefits I can imagine. Free food up the wazoo. Gym on site. Happy hour Friday’s.
I brag about taking a shit for an hour at work and coworkers don’t give a shit. Or taking a day off to do personal errands anytime.
Having my own place in a nice area (though the cost of living is enough to take care of 3 families in another state). Supporting my girlfriend through school and helping her with her dreams of art.
Going to fancy dinners and not worrying about the bill afterwards.
Accidentally damaging my 2017 Honda Accord and not giving a fuck because I can pay $900 for repair with less than a week of work.
But I can’t help but think that all this time..
I could’ve just quit and worked at McDonalds. I could’ve been one of the cool kids..8 -
The place where I work part time, my role is to teach children how to code basic things in python, html and CSS.
There's a child who's been coming to this club for the past year, she's only 8 and is smarter than any other child I've seen in person.
Turns out both her parents are developers which is why she has an interest in coding too. It's so refreshing to see things like these, honestly. I hope my child in the future is like her lol.3 -
1. If your contract allows it (and it should), get more involved in public dev community. Your employer benefits greatly from making a small closed source core product, with a giant open source ecosystem around it. Write public articles. Working in a community larger than one single business is fun.
2. Start a company coding club, a "labs" division, work in a slightly more exotic language. Great if your employer gives you time, but using some of your own is worth it too. Work on non critical tools, creative experiments. Sometimes you stumble onto incredibly valuable ideas which would never have popped up if you had strictly followed stakeholder requirements.
3. Listen to your body. If you feel restless, go for a run. If you feel tired, take a nap. If you're stuck, wander around the company. If you feel down, go find a place with more than a dozen trees. And always have a notepad nearby for doodling!5 -
Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!
I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !
The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!
Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!
Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!
Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-11 -
*taking interviews of freshmen for the computer club in college*
Me: What languages do you know?
Freshman #1: C, C++.
FM #2: C, C++.
FM #3: C, C++.
...
FM #83: C, C++.
FM #84: Hindi, Tamil, Kannada, English.
I shot myself in the head after that last one.6 -
How I've got my previous job?
Imagine you are in a wild techno club. Dark aisles, A dj from berlin behind the turntables blasting out hard beats, couples kissing on extasy pills.
And there was a friend I've didn't meet in ages. "how do you do?" she asks. "ah... you know i'm on a job hunt for a year i feel misrable". "really? my dad is looking for somebody, send him your resNZNZNZ!" "WHAT? can't hear you!" "Send him your resume!" "Ahhh! okay great!"
So on 24. december 5pm, snow outside, i've sat on wooden table in the kitchen of her father discussing the conditions for the job. It was the start of a crazy time. Dining with millionaires on their Castles. Shaking hands with top businesses leaders. Going to China and having dinner with the 500 richest chinese at once. Wild!
so my advice for you nerds, don't stay in your comfort zone behind the screen on weekends. Vistit a techno club sometimes. You may find a pretty girl/boy with a CEO as a father.14 -
!rant
I'm at a club and browsing devRant whilst my friends are getting drunk.
I guess I'm really an introvert and a huge nerd.3 -
The list would be quite long.
I think Google is still making good tools, but just like Apple the integrations get all so tight and constricting... And with their data, if it goes wrong, it will go wrong hard.
I feel like YouTube is gliding into a state where cheap clickbait floats to the top and finding quality gets more difficult as well, their algorithm is more and more tuned to choose recent popular stuff over good older gems.
Microsoft is all pretend lovey dovey cuddling open source, but I'm still suspicious it's all a hug of death. I was never a big fan, but they're seriously dropping balls when it comes to windows-as-a-service, taking away so much personal control from end users even though they can't be trusted to babysit either.
Amazon is creeping it's way through the internet, charging $10/m to join the vip club infesting houses with spytubes to sell more plastic crap. Bezos' only right to keep wasting oxygen is BlueOrigin, but he'll probably fuck that up as well turning spaceflight into a decadent prime consumer orgy instead of something inspiring.
Facebook... Well, that's self explanatory. Fuck it, everything it pretends to be, and everyone who still has an account with a rusty spike.
Uber and AirBnB, with their fake ass mission of a green shared economy, but they trample over employees, customers and neighbors to build their ivory towers of progressive illusions.
Then there's a million declining brands.
I liked Skype for example when it was first released, Just like how I started out liking (and then hating) Discord, Slack, etc... They're all tools which seem fast and easy, but then they get us further away from solid protocols, get us entrenched into limiting, bloated and sometimes even dangerous tools. As my dad used to say: "Companies are like women, if you go for cheap, fast and easy you'll end up with a burning dick and half your savings gone"
You know what, fuck all tech companies.
OK, devrant is still pretty nice... For now.8 -
Since I was little I was fascinated by club light shows I saw on TV shows. I just couldn't find out how they made light react to sound, which were two completely unrelated things to me back then. But I wasn't dumb and somehow figured out that if I hooked some low energy fairy lights to my amp and turned the bass up, they would lightup to the beat.
3 fried fairy lights and angry parents for to loud music later I swore to myself that I would someday build something that could light up my whole room and react to the music I was playing.
I started coding about the age 13 (turned 20 a month ago) with some old school bat scripts. But I wanted something that would generate a .exe so I googled and ended up installing Visual Studio Express (again angry parents for installing without asking) and started copying my first VB.Net program together. From there no one could stop me. I wanted to archive something with an application and googled until I found what I needed and learned to code this way.
I learned writing decent vb.net code and itvwas about this time I came into contact with IRC. I lurked arround there and this is were I came into contact with Linix servers, because I wanted to code IRC (eggdrop) bots, so I learned TCL and got used to Linux. Time passed and I ended uo being a Global OP on some network back then.
I did go further, coded Minecraft Mods, thus Java, changed back to C#, learned PHP and started setting things up on my VPS, Mails server, web server, etc.
Nowadays I work as a Systemadmin / Developer Hybrid, earning my first real money doing what I love to do and guess what? In the meantime I proved myself I can accomplish what I wanted as kid. I bought some Club LED DMX capital lights and programmed a controller for them which can control them in C#, but in a way I can run it on my raspi using mono. I also coded a client which runs on windows which uses some native libraries to calculate the dominant color of the shown picture in realtime (Handels 24fps 1080p) and uses the lights as ambient light, like you see them behind TVs sometimes.
The same app uses Bass.NET and an algorithm to dedect a beat in realtime and switches the light colors. Exactly what I wanted as akid, but better.
I can even control the lights via the new Google Assistant and/or Tasker.
Feels fcking good.
Some of my work lies on github among other, mostly trash: https://github.com/Kimmax - didn't updated there in a while tho.
I plan on writing a new free opensource plugin based modular home automatication server and pretty sure could use some helping hands..
I don't know why I wrote all this, just felt like it.
Also: first Rant
Please don't kill me for errors in the text, I'm to lazy to read through it again right now :P8 -
Cops in Bavaria raided a hackerspace two weeks ago and found a 3D printed nuke...Accused crime: Causing an explosive explosion
http://m.spiegel.de/netzwelt/web/...
19 -
I heard this joke a long time ago and I've tried getting laughs ever since. I swear I won't give up trying.
A priest, a surgeon and an engineer are going golfing on a Saturday. The golf club owner says the court is unavailable - on Saturdays the golf course is in use by a group of firemen who lost their eyesight while rescuing golf club members out of the club house a year back. The surgeon exclaims "that's awful! I'll arrange a fundraiser, maybe we can help improve their eyesight." The preacher folds his hands and states "my communion will include them in our prayers." The engineer is silent for a moment, then asks: "Can't they just play at night?"8 -
I'm in grade 9.
I started a programming club in my school.
I told them that I'd teach basic HTML,JS,CSS,C++,C,Java.
Nobody signed up.
Because it happens on Thursdays.
FML.
However, people told other people that I have wicked programming skills and so one of the school staff asked me to help them maintain their school website, which is currently just Google Sites (*vomit).
:(13 -
I got a call at 12:30 one night a few months back. Apparently some back-end scripts I edited to fix an automated test setup crashed around 75 test pc's and halted somewhere around 2000 tests. I quickly jumped on, fixed the issue, and got everything back online.
I was up all night certain I would get fired. First thing in the morning the client says welcome to the club some, of the best have done the same thing.2 -
That time I joined the robotics club and made the pid loop for the robot was one of my favorite projects. I learned ROS, and I created the entire chain of software and hardware to control six motors. That one project set up my experience for the next 4 years and led to a few jobs. I miss robotics.
6 -
!dev
I live next to a nightclub and went outside for a fag.
It’s wet, 2:30am and kinda cold.
A girl and her boyfriend come out of the club..
Her feet hurt because of her high heels so she takes them off, walking on the wet, cold road barefoot now.
Her boyfriend sees it and tells her to put them back on.
She denies.
He takes off his shoes and gives them to her (good boyfriend...) she puts them on, almost falling over cause she’s hammered as fuck, takes them off again and says they don’t fit and look stupid on her..
WTF, I understand taking the shoes off When she’s drunk but I don’t understand how the fuck she could care if it looks good at half 2 in the morning in an empty town..
I’ve seen it all now..
#onlyInIreland17 -
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14 -
There I was, thinking I’d never be the kind of idiot who spills a cup of coffee over his laptop.
Little did I know I was eventually going to be a premium member of that club.2 -
The 1st rule of Javascript is: You don't admit you program Javascript.
The 1st rule of Rust is: You tell everyone you program Rust and how it is better than basically any programming language that existed or will exist.
The 1st rule of C++ is: There are no rules because everyone was too busy debugging templates to think of any rules.
The 1st rule of Java is: You must have excessive numbers of classes and boilerplate. The more boilerplate the better.
The 1st rule of Haskell is: It is great to learn, but you will never see it again once you leave college.38 -
I'm fixing a security exploit, and it's a goddamn mountain of fuckups.
First, some idiot (read: the legendary dev himself) decided to use a gem to do some basic fucking searching instead of writing a simple fucking query.
Second, security ... didn't just drop the ball, they shit on it and flushed it down the toilet. The gem in question allows users to search by FUCKING EVERYTHING on EVERY FUCKING TABLE IN THE DB using really nice tools, actually, that let you do fancy things like traverse all the internal associations to find the users table, then list all users whose password reset hashes begin with "a" then "ab" then "abc" ... Want to steal an account? Hell, want to automate stealing all accounts? Only takes a few hundred requests apiece! Oooh, there's CC data, too, and its encryption keys!
Third, the gem does actually allow whitelisting associations, methods, etc. but ... well, the documentation actually recommends against it for whatever fucking reason, and that whitelisting is about as fine-grained as a club. You wanna restrict it to accessing the "name" column, but it needs to access both the "site" and "user" tables? Cool, users can now access site.name AND user.name... which is PII and totally leads to hefty fines. Thanks!
Fourth. If the gem can't access something thanks to the whitelist, it doesn't catch the exception and give you a useful error message or anything, no way. It just throws NoMethodErrors because fuck you. Good luck figuring out what they mean, especially if you have no idea you're even using the fucking thing.
Fifth. Thanks to the follower mentality prevalent in this hellhole, this shit is now used in a lot of places (and all indirectly!) so there's no searching for uses. Once I banhammer everything... well, loads of shit is going to break, and I won't have a fucking clue where because very few of these brainless sheep write decent test coverage (or even fucking write view tests), so I'll be doing tons of manual fucking testing. Oh, and I only have a week to finish everything, because fucking of course.
So, in summary. The stupid and lazy (and legendary!) dev fucked up. The stupid gem's author fucked up, and kept fucking up. The stupid devs followed the first fuckup's lead and repeated his fuck up, and fucked up on their own some more. It's fuckups all the fucking way down.20 -
We have this Lukas Podolski paper display someone swiped at a soccer club store. So we hide the fucker in offices, bathroom stalls or behind doors and people get scared shitless.
4 -
I was contacted by a college senior guy (he was part of the core team of the club that I recently joined in my college).
Him: Do you want to launch your own startup?
Me: Yeah, I would love to.
Him: Nice, Listen. Even I want to start my own company. If you don't know, the current trend is ML and AI . So, I would like to base my startup on an AI application.( He was in his final year )
Me: I haven't tried any ML or AI stuff before.Sorry.
Him: Take 2 months time to study the AI concepts and do the app.
Me: But first, tell me what the AI app is supposed to do?
Him: It can be anything I have to think, you take the AI part and the UI and integration; with your skills and my idea let's build a startup and I will appoint you as the head of Application Development in my company.
*wtf, seriously dude? you want me to build the whole app for you and all you will do is put your fucking startup's name on it. I am building an application all by myself why the f would I ask you to publish it for me*
Me: Okay, I am getting late, I have to leave..
Made sure I didn't meet him again
and I have also came out of that stupid club..3 -
So this story is from my University days. I was in the 6th semester back then, studying CS.
My University website was pretty shitty. Basically it was one of those old ass website that said "Best viewed in IE8". Anyway, I was snooping about the website, trying to find some news regarding an event.
I logged into my account, and randomly browsed into the leave request portal. This was a basic HTML form where students could apply for leaves from the classes and see the status of the leaves, if they have been granted or not. I noticed that the link to the request portal from the student login welcome page was actually something like http://univ.com/student/index.php/..., here 1234567 was my student ID. Yep, it was hardcore into the page, and sent as a GET request on being clicked. That was their idea of authentication I guess. I change the student ID to someone else's, and it let me login as that person.
Long story short, I wrote a little python script to login as every person from the starting of student IDs, till the end, then submit a leave request with a random dumb reason like "can't come, at the strip club" or "going for sex change operation". What I did not know was that when a request is submitted, a text message is also sent to the student's guardians phone number. I ran the script.
That day, over 1000 parents received text messages from the University saying that their kids have applied for a leave from random date to random date for some retarded reason. It was a blast. Students were talking about how someone had "Hacked" into the system.4 -
I was asked to help with the website of this one club. Their 'IT head' is a business person. I told them no, but they sent me something anyways.
They sent me a zip file of their code
instead of giving me access to their GitHub repo. I then realized that they were using 3-year-old NodeJS and Express to power their static website and doing blog posts as JavaScript modules.
A second part of their architecture which was related to member sign up was horribly broken and also written in Node. I found out that they hard coded credentials to their Google Apps account, despite having the setup to pass it via environment variables.
And now they are worried that their sign up isn't working. Their developer resigned.
They want me to help them fix it within a very small timeframe. So they can use the code to collect membership fees.
This is what happens when you have business people develop code.
6 -
This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out
And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!
The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!
People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.
That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.
And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.
That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.
They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.
Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.
Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.
The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).
This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”
AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.
That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.
All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*
I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.12 -
I’m adding some fucking commas.
It should be trivial, right?
They’re fucking commas. Displayed on a fucking webpage. So fucking hard.
What the fuck is this even? Specifically, what fucking looney morons can write something so fucking complicated it requires following the code path through ten fucking files to see where something gets fucking defined!?
There are seriously so fucking many layers of abstraction that I can’t even tell where the bloody fucking amount transforms from a currency into a string. I’m digging so deep in the codebase now that any change here will break countless other areas. There’s no excuse for this shit.
I have two options:
A) I convert the resulting magically conjured string into a currency again (and of course lose the actual currency, e.g. usd, peso, etc.), or
B) Refactor the code to actually pass around the currency like it’s fucking intended to be, and convert to a string only when displaying. Like it’s fucking intended to be.
Impossible decision here.
If I pick (A) I get yelled at because it’s bloody wrong. “it’s already for display” they’ll say. Except it isn’t. And on top of that, the “legendary” devs who wrote this monstrosity just assumed the currency will always be in USD. If I’m the last person to touch this, I take the blame. Doesn’t matter that “legendary Mr. Apple dev” wrote it this way. (How do I know? It’s not the first time this shit has happened.) So invariably it’ll be up to me to fix anyway.
But if I pick (B) and fix it now, I’ll get yelled at for refactoring their wonderful code, for making this into too big of a problem (again), and for taking on something that’s “just too much for me.” Assholes. My après Taco Bell bathroom experiences look and smell better than this codebase. But seriously, only those two “legendary” devs get to do any real refactoring or make any architecture decisions — despite many of them being horribly flawed. No one else is even close to qualified… and “qualified” apparently means circle jerking it in Silicon Valley with the other better-than-everyone snobs, bragging about themselves and about one another. MojoJojo. “It was terrible, but it fucking worked! It fucking worked!” And “I can’t believe <blah> wanted to fix that thing. No way, this is a piece of history!” Go fuck yourselves.
So sorry I don’t fit in your stupid club.
Oh, and as an pointed, close-at-hand example of their wonderful code? This API call I’m adding commas to (it’s only used by the frontend) uses a json instance variable to store the total, errors, displayed versions of fees/charges (yes they differ because of course they do), etc. … except that variable isn’t even defined anywhere in the class. It’s defined three. fucking. abstraction. layers. in. THREE! AND. That wonderful piece of smelly garbage they’re so proud of can situationally modify all of the other related instance variables like the various charges and fees, so I can’t just keep the original currency around, or even expect the types to remain the same. It’s global variable hell all over again.
Such fucking wonderful code.
I fucking hate this codebase and I hate this fucking company. And I fucking. hate. them.7 -
Almost every other person: goes to a club and wakes up in some stranger's bed.
Me: wakes up infront of someone else's computer
(Apparently, I went home with a friend and started programming on her pc and fell asleep infront of the computer...)1 -
Fuck post-it notes.
Oh look, another product manager found his inner child and plastered a wall with a colored arts and crafts project.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm abso-fucking-lutely in favor of connecting with your deep childish nature -- but then at least enter the meeting room like a boss, armed with some creative ideas, really get to work with some fingerpaint, modelling clay, glitter, molly, acid blotters and grape juice for the whole party.
Not only was that project poorly thought out. Not only does the assortment of colored squares contribute nothing to the clarification of ideas. The issue is also that by Monday morning, the meeting room will look like a strip club after an escalated party, floor littered with 60 little neon pink and green slips reeking of desperation, cheap glue and failure.
Now your whole project is on the floor.
OH DIGITAL WHITEBOARD YOU SAY. NOW WE HAVE 10 MANAGERS FIGHTING DIGITALLY OVER VIRTUAL POST-ITS, ON A CLOUD SERVICE COSTING $500/MONTH.
Product managers, just go fuck yourself, I don't care about your kindergarten bullshit processes.
Call me when you manage to pull a workable idea out of your ass, and just draw an SVG diagram with Inkscape, or write your brainfarts into a nicely organized Markdown file.1 -
Interviewer called me useless for reason that I am a self taught programmer and don't have a degree. She told me that I will have no future. Because self taught are just useless who who try to fit in the club.
This personally offend me so much. Yes, I'm self taught. At least I have a heart of learning rather than being arrogant ....40 -
Thought Amazon servers went bonkers seeing these names. Later realized these are episode names for TV series, Mr Robot.
-
I couldn't sleep. I was staring at the blinking cursor. A slow, comforting blinking. Like everyone else, I had become a slave to the JavaScript ecosystem. If I saw something like a new build system, or a new framework, I had to have it.
My client changed the requirements again. I'm in pain.
- "You want to see pain?" my colleague said. Go read Apple support forums. That's pain.
I became addicted. Every time I died and every time I was born again. Resurrected.
During the night, I was crying in the Apple forums for an official answer that would never come. During the day, I was surfing StackOverflow to fix my problems. You get "single-serving" friends there. They help you, you help them, and then you never see them again.
- "Then you install Stack and boom, you're done. It's that easy to go functional."
That's how I met him.
- "You know why they make so many javascript frameworks?"
- "No, why?"
- "So that they can distract you while they put backdoors in them. So that you don't have time to check all of their code".
- "You are by far the most interesting "single-serving" friend I've ever met"
Then, my hard disk died. Of course, I didn't have backups: nobody has enough space for all those node_modules folders. All my addictions, lost.
Then I wrote him. If you asked me now, I couldn't tell you why I wrote him. We chatted a lot.
- "It's late, I should really go search another hdd on ebay"
- "Ebay? You called me so you could have my old hard disk."
- "No, I..."
- "Come on."
He sent me his old hard disk. It was a 256MB hard disk, but it was fine for running Arch. Then he asked me to rant about my problems in front of him.
- "I want you to rant as hard as you can"
- "Are you serious?"
We ranted all night about our bosses and clients and their fucked up requests. We kept in touch, and after a while more people were ranting with us. Every week, he gave the rules that he and I decided.
- "The first rule of devRant is -- you don't talk about devRant. The second rule of devRant is -- you don't talk about devRant."
I like to think this is how devRant started. This might also be the reason why we never see @trogus, only @dfox. A lot of shit still needs to happen.8 -
!rant, just wanted to express my excitement to someone
Not sure if this counts but technically I got my first freelance dev job designing an app for a club/small business at school. I have a lot to learn still but I'm really happy about the opportunity3 -
!rant
After a years of struggle with the administration office I managed to create a coding club in my school! Things are finally changing2 -
So after less than four weeks of waiting (an incredibly short time!), I finally got my fresh new devRant stickers yesterday, shipped all the way out to Middle Of Nowhere, India :D
Hats off to the devRant team for their incredible commitment to the app and the users!
5 -
I tried writing this rant before, but I was (and still am) in too good of a mood so it was lengthy, meandering, and over-specific. so I'll summarize(ish).
summary:
* miscommunication
* working weekends
* incompetence and/or screwy integrations
summary of the summary:
* I can't fix someone else's mess if you don't talk to me!
Summary^3: #TODO: learn telepathy
Shortened rant:
Bossman at work signed up a very lucrative client by promising them something he couldn't deliver because he misunderstood and miscommunicated scope -- anti-fraud, if you've been following my rants.
Their signup (all four...) are screwy and cause issues and nobody knows why. I didn't write the code, have barely even glanced through it, and it uses a third-party (Clover) that's rather screwy.
Bossman has been asking me to do various things concerning the merchant, but has never been around to provide specifics, so I'm left to guess. I've done my best, but due to the aforementioned screwiness, I really have no idea what's going on. I just sort of muddled my way through.
Bossman also asked me, super late on Friday night (after 8:30pm), to rename one of the merchants because there are two with the same name (with different Clover creds, etc.) and that's just confusing. I didn't see the message because late and tired, and he didn't follow up or text/call me until two days later (today, Sunday). I also thought these were strictly for diagnosing and were de-listed. I had no idea the merchant was live and people were actually purchasing things for it. Had I known this I would have freaked out and demanded specifics on Thursday/Friday because wtf? debugging in production? with broken merchants? selling things for real money? scary bad? hello?
Anyway, I didn't see his message until he texted me about it at like 5pm today while I was about 2 hours from my computer. He's understandably frustrated, and I totally don't blame him, but fuck, miscommunication is a serious problem in this company, and that's amazing because it's so freaking small.
But the short version is that I'm likely going to get blamed for all this, Clover screwiness included. Bossman and I set up a call for 10am tomorrow and I'm positive he's going to try pinning it on me. Totally not going to let him, but his social is lv16+ while mine's like. 2 or 3. 😕 I'll see how it goes.
Really though, I should read @rutee07's book and just roast these fuckers.3 -
Me: alrighty, a full weekend of development!
Friends: oi come out tonight, we're going to a night club tonight!
Me: ah fuck!
Got to love dat' social life6 -
Joined a new company / team to work on an iOS app that has 2 different backend environments "Dev" and "Prod". Also being referred to in iOS speak as "Debug" and "Release".
Been trying to get accounts on these backends (no sign up in app, its controlled via another process). Eventually get access to "Dev" for one of the regions, so I load up "Debug" and its not working.
This is odd, so I open the Android app and load "Dev" and it works? I then Notice Android has "Dev", "QA", "Staging" and "Prod" for every region where as iOS only has 2 of these.
So I go back to iOS and find the file for the settings and it has iOS Debug assigned a variable for the backend Dev ... which is actually pointing to QA. Because they use QA to Debug and not Dev.
... confused? join the club4 -
Quitting my last job. I had been there for about 3 years and had a great time there.
It was only my boss and I, we were developing software and websites for events so we were quite often out meeting and partying with people, it kinda became a part of the job. We had a fridge always stacked with beer and champagne which was for us and our friends to use. The office was located in the middle of the most exclusive business and club district in the city, so I could use the office as I wanted during evenings to meet up with friends and drinking beer.
But it was expected to work a lot of overtime. I was single and young and really liked what I was doing so I didn't mind. But then I met the love of my life and started to spend more time with her. I couldn't stay and work as often and would rather be with her on weekends.
It became quite hard to live up to my boss's expectations and it always felt like I disappointed him if I didn't (or couldn't) stay for an after work, and when I did, it felt like I disappointed my new girlfriend instead.
Ultimately I felt I had to choose one of them, or I would definitely loose her. It was a no-brainer since I knew I couldn't keep working like that forever, and didn't want to risque a relationship because of work.
It took all of my courage to do it and I felt so bad because I knew my boss (and my friend) would feel like I betrayed him, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
I can still miss it sometimes, but I don't regret it.3 -
So It looks it's easier to find a swinger club nearby than a dev community
:s should I have more sexual activity instead of coding for hobby?9 -
Hello, Club 1000!
I would like to thank my mom and dad, all of the ranters who have contributed to this achievement and you, @dfox and @trogus—without you this would not be possible.
4 -
Tried a mobile app club this semester and the second meeting they brought in these two business majors who said they had an idea for an app that would share videos of college parties and the videos would disappear after 24 hours. You could also invite people to the parties as well.
I was like so you basically want snapchat... what happens when cops create accounts and fine people for under age drinking? How will you get market share over snapchat or vine? How much money are you offering?
They were not pleased...3 -
When I see someone from the sticker club I always has to imagine the reaction of client at the first meeting on which he shows up with his laptop.
Professionalism < 0
Ridiculousness > 9000
5 -
PSA.
I have established "Depressed Lonely Maggot" Club. Our symbol will be an ugly crying maggot.
You are invited :310 -
I just went to another local more expensive cafe (or bar or night club for those who are more pedantic than drunk - or sober for that matter - me). Mainly with the idea of getting a girl that I've caught my eye on home. Which of course miserably failed.
At least I've got her Facebook account. Maybe I'll be able to impress her with my about 600 followers there.. not that that really matters, but it's a number, right.
And I've asked to the bartender there for some dihydrogen monoxide (let that sink in for a minute.. 2 hydrogens, one oxide). The guy didn't know what I was asking for, and didn't quite appreciate it. If only he knew...
I bet he'd be one of those people who'd call the local radio station over the dangerous dihydrogen monoxide that's poisoning the water system 🙃6 -
So, I'm living in a completely computer illiterate family and I was called to help my father with something on a Laptop where he wanted to stream his favorite Soccer-Club.
So I walk up to him, ask what's wrong, and he says (roughly translated from German) "That thing doesn't work!"
And I'm just like ((Wat u mean))
So I ask him to explain the problem in detail.
Apparently his streaming service wasn't loading his stream.
Well damn I say, try searching for the problem on Google and find a solution.
((But no no no imma just call my son for everything that's freaking wrong with tech, he sure knows what to do))
As I'm not that experienced with Webservices as of yet, I had no idea what to do.
He was fucking furious!
"You always act like you know everything about tech and programs and stuff and can't even help me with fixing this Stream-Thing?!"
I responded simply by saying "It's not my area of work!"
Seems like he didn't know the difference between TECH-JESUS and hobbyist software engineer.
So I stand there and he just goes on one of these typical boomer tech illiterate rants, of which I'm sure you can imagine enough being on this platform.
tl;Dr; It pisses me of big time how people are not even trying to understand technology, nor attempting to help themselves by eG. Googling some simple problem, but rather just ask around and then being pissed off if the asked person just doesn't know the answer or can't help!5 -
there's this club at my school, called STEM, and another called "science olympiad." both are pretty cringey, bad, or boring. science olympiad was just for the college credit. during the intro to the club, they said there was a coding section. "game on!" is what they dubbed it as, where basically you're timed to make a game in scratch. i'm fucking tired of it. why is scratch considered programming? don't get me wrong, i'll write an OS in PHP before i say code.org is better than scratch, but fuck it. its a fucking interpreted language that's interpreted by another interpreted language. i don't understand why this shit is still used. scratch isn't good. please codecademy or w3schools or just write in binary directly, but not scratch. my hand hurts from dragging and dropping, my eyes hurt from the light theme, my imaginary cat committed suicide after learning about scratch's mascot. fuck it. now onto stem club, fuck it too. not for being bad (well, kinda), but for not being more recognized. it should be above science olympiad, and other clubs because you actually have to think instead of just memorize. but alas, we still were offered the choice of scratch to program the robot. sigh. arduino much? i guess not. challenging much? nope. was i elected "leader"? with three of my friends out of the eight there, i could have been, but no. effort in this would be depressing.
-
Why am I such an average ?
It's just a sad realisation. Nobody cares but I wanna send this out there, just to write thoughts.. I am 18 in 3rd year of high school (grammar school so nothing IT related, basically waste of time) and in IT I'm all self taught but I feel like I could be better if I just didn't [something]..
I feel like I wanna learn so many things but when I look at you, it seems like a common problem in the IT sphere so hey, average guy joining the club.
I also feel dumb when programming. I didn't manage to learn C++ in it's entirety because to really accomplish something, you've got so many ways to do it and finding the best one requires deep understanding of the tools you've got at your disposal with the language and I feel like I'm not capable of this(self learn, in school/Uni that's different story).. But many (most) of you are. I've tried many coding challenges and when I got it working, I just saw how someone did it in one line just by layering functions that I've never heard of..
Also, we've got kinda specific national competition here in many fields including IT for high schools.. And the winners always do sometimes like "AI driven Life simulation" or "Self flying drone made from ATMega from scratch with 3D simulation in C# to it" or "Game engine" or whatever shit and it's always from grammar schools and never IT related schools.. They are like me. Maybe someone helped them, I don't know, but they are just so far away from me while I'm here struggling to get the basic level of math for any kind of machine learning..
Yeah I've written Neural Network from scratch in C but meh, honestly it's pretty basic stuff .. I'd rather understand derivatives which we're going to learn next year and I'm too lazy to learn it from khan academy because I always learn something else.. Like processing (actually codetrain started teaching tensorflow so that might be the light for me...) Or VHDL (guys you can create your own chip / CPU from scratch and it's not even hard and OMFG it's so fucking cool , full adder done yay) or RPi or commodore 64 assembly or game development with Godot and just meh..
I mean, this sounds exactly like not knowing what to do and doing nothing in the end. That was me like 6-12 months ago. Now I'm managing to pick 2-3 things and focus them and actually feel the progress.
But I lost track of the original point.. I didn't do anything special, every time I'm programming something, everyone does it better and I feel dumb. I will probably never do anything special, everyone around says "He's still learning he's genius" but they have no idea.
I mean, have you seen one of the newest videos on Google's YouTube channel (I openly hate them, but I will keep that away for now), something like "Sarah story" ? It's about girl that apparently didn't care about IT but self learned tensorflow on high school. I think it may be bullshit (like ALL of their videos ) but it's probably just fancied, not complete lie.
And again, here I am. I now C but I'm incapable of learning to program good which most of you did and are now doing for living. I'm incapable to do anything cool, just understanding what everybody else did and replicating it. I'm incapable of being clever.
Sorry, just misusing devrant to vent a bit17 -
I wish there were some sort of nerd club in my city were IT ppl gathered and build a datacenter just for fun13
-
We had a kind of "computer club" back in a year. (AG in germany). The teacher left us (4 nerdy geeks) alone for a few minutes because he had to check on something.
He was still logged in with his IT-teacher account.
After a minute of reseach and a few little commands, we had our own school network admin account.
They still haven't removed (probably not even discovered) the account.
Sadly, the localgroup admin didn't have the highest rights..1 -
Wow ! What a milestone ! 1000++'s
Thanks everyone for this amazing community ! I really feel I'm part of something, I never got so involved in a community and it's awesome :D
Thanks to you all ! All the doggos for me now !
8 -
Apparently it's all game's fault... Again. This article is not even fake https://bbc.com/news/av/...
10 -
The Cloud Of Bullshit
Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.
For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.
I love it.
And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.
Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"
I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.
2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?
3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?
The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"
Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.
Native or nothing.
For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"
But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).
So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).
It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.
It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.
So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?
Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.
Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".
Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.
I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.
Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.
After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.
Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.
P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.
And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."
It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.
OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.
The cloud can suck my balls.18 -
Have fun in the 5-digits club :)
Proud to have been the upvote to give you that last little push :P
4 -
Found this on Quora today :
Programming isn't sexy at all. In a club, try picking up a girl by telling her your heroic tale of saving an entire department by rewriting a recursive function to take advantage of a feature in the new server Intel chips to scale up their online orders.
Then tell me how it goes.4 -
I am the manager of a customer service team of about 10-12 members. Most of the team members are right out of school and this is their first professional job and their ages range from 22-24. I am about 10 years older than all of my employees. We have a great team and great working relationships. They all do great work and we have established a great team culture.
Well, a couple of months ago, I noticed something odd that my team (and other employees in the building) started doing. They would see each other in the hallways or break room and say “quack quack” like a duck. I assumed this was an inside joke and thought nothing of it and wrote it off as playful silliness or thought I perhaps missed a moment in a recent movie or TV show to which the quacks were referring.
Fast forward a few months. I needed to do some printing and our printer is in a room that can be locked by anyone when it is in use (our team often has large volumes of printing they need to do and it helps to be able to sort things in there by yourself, as multiple people can get their pages mixed up and it turns into a mess). The door had been locked the entire day and this was around noon, and the manager I have the key to the door in case someone forgot to unlock it when they left. I walked in, and there were two of my employees on the couch in the copier room having sex. I immediately closed the door and left.
This was last week and as you can imagine things are very awkward between the three of us. I haven’t addressed the situation yet because of a few factors: This was during both of their lunch hours. They were not doing this on the clock (they had both clocked out, I immediately checked). We have an understanding that you can go or do anything on your lunch that you want, as long as you’re back after an hour. Also, as you mentioned in your answer last week to the person who overheard their coworker involved in “adult activities,” these people are adults and old enough to make their own choices.
But that’s not the end of the story. That same day, after my team had left, I was wrapping up and putting a meeting agenda on each of their desks for our meeting the next day. Out in broad daylight on the guys desk (one of the employees I had caught in the printing room) was a piece of paper at the top that said “Duck Club.” Underneath it, it had a list of locations of places in and around the office followed by “points.” 25 points – president’s desk, 10 points – car in the parking lot, 20 points – copier room, etc.
So here is my theory about what is going on (and I think I am right). This “Duck Club” is a club people at work where people get “points” for having sex in these locations around the office. I think that is also where the quacking comes into play. Perhaps this is some weird mating call between members to let them know they want to get some “points” with the other person, and if they quack back, they meet up somewhere to “score.” The two I caught in the copier room I have heard “quacking” before.
I know this is all extremely weird. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to write you because of how weird this seems (plus I was a little embarrassed). I have no idea what to do. As I mentioned above, they weren’t on the clock when this happened, they’re all adults, and technically I broke a rule by entering the copier room when it was locked, and would have never caught them if I had obeyed that rule. The only company rule I can think of that these two broke is using the copier room for other purposes, preventing someone else from using it.
I would love to know your opinion on this. I tend to want to sweep it under the rug because I’m kind of a shy person and would be extremely embarrassed to bring it up.21 -
SAP is not a business system. Its goal is not to solve any kind of business problem. SAP is a club. Just like Supreme clothes, it's expensive for the sake of being expensive. Everyone else also knows they're expensive, and this is why you buy them. If you adopt SAP, you do it just to show potential investors that you have money. SAP is designer clothes of IT.
I kinda thought about it, and it was confirmed by a person who worked with SAP for the last 20 years.44 -
The worst part of being a dev
My social dilemma
In a fast paced world where the average human spends at least 6 hours a day with technology, deriving basic entertainment, pleasures and engaging in various activities.
Here we are the developers that have to engage with technology for longer hours for a living , having to keep up with deadlines, immersing our minds in complicated algorithms and then the endless possibilities of entertainment from the machine in so few human hours a day , you wonder how you’d get off, and to top it up, I personally work from home.
And then the dilemma of overcoming different suggestions from various parties in taking a break off, a break off to what you later ask yourself, thus creating the shadow of doubt, splitting the fragile programmer’s mind , trying to solve this imaginary puzzle, “this bug of the mind”.
Then the challenge often arises in creating a balance, telling yourself, just catching up with people with this same technology takes a whole day, or then again quitting my Job, but from my little experience of life, nobody likes a poor visitor, this is actually worse than a “bug” and as I bask in this quagmire, “a little voice in my head keeps singing keep doing what you love doing”.
Like an infinite loop of crazy, spiralling back to these machines, trying the find and fix the balance of normalcy. Always remembered the cool years of college tho, with so much people around and then again that was college.
An then the thought arises, maybe something else might be worth doing, but after so much time spent in building your skills and the enormous joy of programming even typing without looking at the keyboard is a real pleasure, and yeah sure the days are short with the reality of a constant need to survive, remain sane, compete and make the best of life in such short time.
Then how do we know if we have fallen off the so-called “social track”, when we have only lived so little to really comprehend the most parts of life? with such constant stream of unanswered question, you’d realise you shouldn’t have burdened the mind creating such questions in the first place
But then again maybe it gets better, one of the above, the disturbed mind or the situation as whole and yes I try oh I try, I place calls, do some visiting, no relationship tho but with a good perspective in mind.
In this race of life, you sometimes ask yourself would you rather be in a different position, or maybe already put exactly where we belong. For this illusionary fight with self is a fight with reality as a whole and true bliss comes from actually letting go as time and people pass you by.
And my greatest achievement to date aside family and my work is getting into the 1000 club on devRant.2 -
I have a friend that every 2 days posts stories of her being in a club or something similar, dressed up and make up everywhere, with lots of drinks and shit like that. Girl has 0 skills and is living on the money that her dead parent left her. Honestly, shit looks fucking exhausting.
I hate clubs and being out with people. I do love drinking and having a good time... but every 2 days for it to be something? man I already feel tired and it ain't even my life.21 -
bool rant = false
I became my school's computer club president just last year. Although it's a computer club most of them aren't specially good in computer. We learn Photoshop for mostbof the time. So I decided to bring in unity3d and teach it myself.
I did managed to teach them in a slow pace. What came to me as a surprise is that I inspired another student to held unity class in school to teach other students game making .
Sometimes little thing we do may influence people in a big way we don't know.2 -
Only if people understood the amount of effort that goes behind building a simple app.
Even if it's a simple notes app, I've to design the UI (at least 2 different activities - 1 for the list and the other for editing notes), write the code which makes it run i.e. without which the app is just a piece of empty design, think about what data
structures to use (that notes you are saving need to be stored somehow) and then club everything together and hope nothing breaks (spoiler alert: something will definitely break).
People need to understand that it's not just putting some fancy buttons and boxes around. Also, I'm not just making the app for one device. I've to make sure it works on different screen sizes, different versions of the OS (a user can't imagine how many functions need to be re written because something got deprecated in the process and I'd to switch to something different).
Also I'm not just sitting at my computer and converting coffee to code. I've to think about the flow, structure, design, navigation, backend etc. Of the app; most of my time isn't spent writing code but thinking/studying how to write the code. I also need to wait while the project is compiling/building every time I want to test it.
A function which you think is hard to implement night be really easy while something you claim is easy might be a nightmare. Oh and I didn't even mention how I need to stick to some design guidelines to make the app look consistent with the rest of the OS.
If you're wondering why a developer is spending most of his time on a browser, he isn't playing internet games or browsing reddit ( at least you better hope not), he's probably looking at the docs/stack overflow to get something to work/fix something!
Wow! That was long. Thanks!3 -
I just got trolled by Amazon.
LOL and FML.
Be me, super busy with tons of things to do trying to prioritize tasks and jiggle jaggle from one thing to another.
Then i get a call from an Amazon representative, which I know:
Her: You should join the AWS Founders Club, you will get a lot of benefits.
Me: I don't really want to, I already looked into it and the process is long.
Her: You should do it, you got what it takes. Just register through this link..
Me: O.k.
1 day later
AMAZON: Unfortunately, we have to inform you that at this time we aren't able to accept your application. Though your startup story is impressive, your startup isn't at the right place in its journey to benefit from what the AWS Founders Club can offer.
WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!
I didn't even want to join in the first place!!! What is this next level of trolling?!5 -
Had a mental breakdown a few days ago. Crying like it's the end of the world when computer stopped working. I was a Picasso drawing of the hysteria, basically.
My exams are getting near, I'm really not ready; yet this chick keeps asking me about ten euros I borrowed from her a year and something back when we were going to a club they asked me to go to with them... Given her persistence that I should wire her the money (no PayPal tho) I assume she's up to something super shady. Why does she need my account info for?
Anyways, being annoyed by only ten euros (in our currency, it's not much, btw. It's less than two bags of expensive chips, or 5 dozen of the cheapest eggs on the market) and not studying enough, there is also my work. I feel so incompetent that I may just resign. Like... I'm not smart enough for this project. 😢 And I'm aware of it.
Put that on the side with this uni's project, which is very "Urghhhhh" because of too many people working on the same project, some of who need to be sent back to kindergarten to learn how to cooperate with others.
And in the middle of all of that, I'm trying to stay as zen as possible until the next mental breakdown. 😑😑😐
Thank you for reading this rant.7 -
I would like to thank everyone who ever upvoted me because I am now joining the 1000 club haha :D
a milestone for me 😬2 -
How I got selected for GSoC'19:
I will describe my journey from detail i.e from the 1st year of the college. I joined my college back in 2017 (July), I was not even aware of Computer Science. What are the different languages of CS, but I had a strong intuition of doing BTech from CSE only?
So yeah I was totally unaware of the computer science stuff, but I had a strong desire to learn it and I literally don’t know why I had this desire. After getting into college, I was learning HTML, Python, and C, also I am really thankful to my friends who really helped me to learn, building logic and making stuff out of it. During the 1st month of joining the college, I got to know what is Open Source, GSoC, Github due to my helpful seniors. But I was not into Open Source during my 1st year of college as I thought it is very difficult to start. In my 1st year, I used to do competitive programming and writing scripts in Python to automate various stuff. I never thought that I would even start doing Open Source development, also in the summer vacations after the 1st year I used to practice programming on HackerRank and learnt an awesome course called Automate the Boring Stuff with Python(which I think is one of the most popular courses for Python) which really helped me to build by Python skills.
Now the 2nd year came, I was totally confused between doing Open Source development or continue with my Competitive programming. But I wanted to know about Open Source development, so I thought to start now will be a good idea. I started attending meetups of OSDC(Open Source Developers Club) which is a hub of my college, which really helped me to know more about Open Source development from my seniors. I started looking for beginner friendly projects in Python on the website Up For Grabs, it’s really helpful for the beginners. So I contributed in a few of them, and in starting it was really tough for me but yeah I continued, which really helped me to at least dive into Open Source. Now I thought to start contributing in any bigger project, which has millions of lines of code which will be really interesting. So I started looking for the project, as I was into web development those days so I thought to find a project which matches my domain. So yeah I finally landed on Oppia:
Oppia
I started contributing into Oppia in November, so yeah in starting it was really difficult for me to solve any issue (as I wasn’t aware of the codebase which was really big), but yeah mentors at Oppia are really helpful, they guided me which really helped me to start my journey with Oppia. By starting of January I was able to resolve around 3–4 issues, which helped me to become the collaborator at Oppia, afterward I really liked contributing to it and I was able to resolve around 9–10 issues by the end of February, which landed me to become a Team Member at Oppia which was really a confidence boost and indication for me that I am in the right direction.
Also in February, the GSoC organizations list was out, and yeah Oppia was also participating in it. The project ideas of Oppia were really interesting, I became even confused to pick anyone because there were 4–5 ideas which seemed interesting to me. After 1–2 days of thought process I decided to go for one of them, i.e “Asking students why they picked a particular answer”, a full stack project.
I started making proposals on it, from the first week of March. I used to get my proposal reviewed frequently from the mentors, which really helped me to build a good and strong proposal.
I must say a well-defined proposal is the most important key for getting selected in GSoC, also you must have done some contributions to the organization earlier which I think really maximize your chances of selection in GSoC.
So after my proposal was made, I submitted it on the GSoC website.
Result Day:
It was the result day, by the way, I had the confidence of being selected, but yeah I was a little bit nervous. All my friends were asking when is your result coming, I told them it will come at 12.30AM (IST). Finally, the time came when I refreshed the GSoC website, Voila the results were out. I opened the Oppia organization page, and yeah my name was there. That was the day I was really happy and satisfied, I was thinking like I have achieved something in my life. It was a moment of pleasure for me, I called my parents and told them my result, they were really happy for me.
I say cracking GSoC is worth it, the preparation you do, the contributions you do, the making of the proposal is really worth.
I got so many messages from my juniors, friends, and seniors, they congratulated me. After that when I uploaded my result of Facebook and LinkedIn, there were tons of comments and likes on the post. So yeah that’s my journey.
By the way, I am writing this post after really late, sorry for it. I must have done it earlier, but due to milestone 1 of GSoC, I was busy.
3 -
Not really a rant and I'm only a beginner/hobbyist, but for a few months I've been active in a local gamedev club where I recently managed the courage to approach a much more experienced (5+ years) programmer.
We managed to have a good 30 minute chat (despite not using the same programming languages) and he told me "I really appreciate talking to someone who actually understands programming and what they're talking about!"
It felt like a pretty big milestone on my path to game development, at least it feels like I know more than I care to admit to myself.1 -
We seem to have a problem, if I leave the 50k club, there'll be no one in the 50k club 😦
Come on you 40k clubbers, you need to pick up the slack!21 -
Public service announcement: Wearing club de nuit perfume will have random people get close to you and smell the perfume thus complimenting it but making it really uncomfortable.
My brother in law gifted me this awesome perfume and it has brough upon some very serious awkward encounters.
I know it smells good, and I know I am pretty, but please ma'am I am married and this is weird, get away and ask me. Seriously no one every talks about how dudes get put into weird positions sometimes and I don't like females getting close to me.
I wear the perfume because I like the smell, and I get it, but please leave me alone.6 -
Finally joined the 1000 club! And 5 more ++ on one of my rants and I'll get a stress ball. This week is really going well1
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types of programmers on social media from my school
#1: that bitch with a mac who barely knows enough python to write a keylogger or web scraper and implies they could make full on applications
#2: that other bitch who has windows and learned a little bit of html and flexes screenshots of their website
#3: the one who runs a club and promotes it on social media, they know java and run windows
#4: the knowledgeable, friendly linux user who's got a bomb ass personal website or plain as to their liking, and retweets cool news on twitter
#4 is the best.6 -
Most succesful project was around this time last year.
A scary club of privacy haters made a 'webapp' to advise people what to vote for in the national elections.
The tool was really bad in multiple ways. For instance, if two parties would score the same amount of points, one would, at random take second place without conveying this to the user.
Oh and it also collected all the data people entered "for scientific purposes". A very sketchy practice, a non profit, funded by the government and George Soros (I kid you not, illuminatie confirmed ;) ).
The tool had this disclaimer on the bottom, saying this webapp needs cookies to function. So that triggered me to make a copy of the tool that works better and ... offline, and without cookies. You could download a html file and turn of your wifi (for the paranoid ppl among us), use the tool, delete the file. No trace.
It was a little bit of tung and cheek project, a gimick, the original was called stemwijzer, mine was called offline stemwijzer.
It was a one day build and a day after launching I got a call of the original stemwijzer project leader. Demanding to take the thing offline for infringing copyright (yeah sort of was). I tried to explain him why I made this and why privacy for such things should be held in high regard. He basicly told me I was talking shit and did not want to discuss, I told him I don't take stuff offline because of phone calls. I told him to email me a seist and desist.
So that guy prolly had a stressful day (because of the launch of his tool), had a few glasses of wine, and wrote an email. He wrote me I was a pathtic kid and I should do more useful stuff. He wrote that anyone could program a tool like that. And he wrote me I should do him a favour not share this email with my measly amount of twitter followers. Super professional email.
So I did him that favour, I did not share it with my twitter followers, I shared it with one of the largest political blogs in the country.
My tool sort of took of after that. To stop infringing copy right I changed the name and I removed their content from the script and wrote instructions on how to copy and paste in the json content yourself and "make your own tool".
The response was great, people actually emailed me job offers and I think that the current job I have is due to the succes of said project. So be balsy, challenge giants, start riots, it will get you places.2 -
!Rant
Finally my quest is complete! I have joined the sticker club!
Vote now! What's your favorite devRant sticker?
Use ++ to vote for ':/ devRant';
Use ++ to vote for ':/ bubble';
Use ++ to vote for 'new Rant("fml")';
In all seriousness though, what's your favorite sticker in your collection?
Anyone care to show off their collection?
Share in the comments.
3 -
CSS :
- In my country : name of a football club
- In the rest of the world : cascading style sheets5 -
Our relationship is like a diode, you take and never give (I demand sex as compensation).
Btw, I really used this but with simpler words with two girls who wanted a ride to go and have fun with other boys in the clubs...
My best friend gave them a ride for over a year.
When we denied more, they started calling me... Wonder why.
Took them one time, asked for gás money.
Only called me one-month later, didn't ask for gás but said I wanted some snug and fun in return... OK, you can have us both (OH YEAH!!!).
On the club, they go for the muscular guys, leaving me alone.
When I got tired, got to one of them and said, ask your friend a ride home because I'm going now. (they ran for my ride since the guys they picked were all pricks and would probably dump them somewhere).
Never called me again...
Told what I did to my best friend, next time they called he demanded sex for both of us, never called him again.
And that's how you fuck opportunistic people. Fuck them.23 -
Back in 2006 I built a custom CMS for golf membership/community to manage tournament listings and registrations along with club news and social calendars. In 2008 I migrated that to Drupal 6 and continued to grow the site from there. Come 2010 I was raising flags about moving to Drupal 7. No. 2011, I recommend the move. No. 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 ...no, no, no. 2016 they complain that the site is old and they want more "management" capability (they had tons a capability). The get sold by some wizbang company and the fancy dancy CMS. I have to hear how great it is bla bla bla. That is until they start to use it. Turns out, it's not a CMS by any stretch of the imagination. They need to know HTML and a page's content in a single blob field. And content can't be repurposed across the site. I now just sit back and laugh at their pain.3
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Most awkward video conference call?
Our department is in a 'virtual' book club, reading The Unicorn Project, and I asked..
Me: "So what similarities have you seen with the Phoenix project and projects we work on here?"
Dale: "Ha ha..sooo many. The biggest is the disconnect of managers with no clue of what goes on."
<Vice president of our department also in the book club>
VP: "Really? Dale, I'd like to know more about this."
<awkward silence with blank stares all around>
DBA: "Come on Dale...spill the beans. Got the VP right there."
Dale: "Um...nope...not going there...nope"
<Dale's screen goes black>
VP: "OK, so when Maxine asks ..." -
We need a new Website for our school TV club. Ok..
I start to make a idea of site and give it to the guy, who said that we need a new site.
He liked the idea.
I started to make site.
*Few hours later*
The site is "ready" (Not fancy af but operates)
I go to the guy who want the site.
He said: "Why do you make the site? I setuped Wordpress for our site."
Fuck you.1 -
I just had a boys-out night with my son. Went to some restaurant, found a parking spot in a confusing parking lot (half is more expensive than the other half of the lot, not sure which fee applies to the middle row... confusing), started paying for parking with the app (pays every 15 minutes until stopped).
Went inside, ordered a pizza, some ice cream. Chatting, playing, eating, having fun,... An SMS comes: "You have outstanding fines" and a link to the gov taxes' website.
wtf.. I must have parked in the wrong spot. FUCK! Oh well, it should not be a large fine anyways, it's just for parking....
Click on the link, login with my bank/SmartID creds. Another SmartID dialog pops up asking for a PIN2.
What? PIN1 is for authentication, PIN2 is for Authorization. What am I authorizing...?
Reading through the Auth message: "Paying 2473€ for Boris SomeLastname".
what.....?
Thank God my muscle memory did not kick in and I did not enter that PIN2.
And thank God I know what PIN1 and PIN2 are for.
It would've been one expensive boys-out evening... Even a strip club would've been cheaper.
Stay sharp, guys!
P.S. Later I checked the URL. It used all the right keywords, and it was registered as an .info domain. It was somewhat off, but gov websites trying to be lean do sometimes use some weird ass domains.15 -
Context: I (among other things) manage some servers for my students' club so I have first-hand information about anything network or server-related that happens. We basically run a big enterprise network and we allow devices to connect if a person has paid their membership and the device's MAC address (be it wireless or ethernet) is recognized by our switches/aruba controllers.
Story: So today a first complaint about "the wifi not working" came in because of Android 10 and its MAC randomization. We deal with MAC randomization on Windows laptops and PCs but I think it is disabled by default so we almost never get this type of complaint.
It took one of the other guys probably 5 minutes to figure out how to disable it... only to discover it is a per-network setting.
The actual question: If there are any network administrators here on devRant - how do you deal with this MAC filtering vs MAC randomization issue?7 -
OMFG eiwixjjwofiwprjcozkajh.... THE MOTHERFUCKING GDPR IS EVERYWHERE, I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE AND THEY PUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT ON FUCKING REPEAT, BEGGEING THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARDS TO SIGN A CONSENT AT THE CASH REGISTER!!! ON A FUCKING REPEAT!!! THE ONLY THING THESE MOTHERFUCKING ARSEHOLES ARE ACHIEVING IS ME GETTING SO PISSED OFF THAT I ALMOST SLAPPED THE CASHIER WHO ASKED ME IF I HAVE GOT THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARD! CUNTS!3
-
- get better at nodejs(and a bad ass front-end dev)
- rewrite the sass to bem for my club website
- put the website for my brother and sister online
- build a new 2018 portfolio website for myself
- finish my dashboard to run on a pi
- get a permanent position1 -
hello +1000 club! got my +1000 shoes, my +1000 desk and my +1000 sungluses now all I am missing is a vader helmet..2
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Departure: 13.00 Train: test Destination: A1 Delay 18888min
Now it is 15:43 and it is still on...
Finaly poland joins the testing in the prod club!
Station is Wroclaw if anybody is interested.
2 -
Okay, let's get this fight rolling: here's a typical .net error message:
An error occurred. (An error occurred.) The type of this error was: An error occurred. Additionally, an error occurred while the error was occurring. The type of this error was: An error occurred.
Additional information: NullReferenceException at line... haha not really fucko, an error occurred.2 -
When you post an opening for a junior developer, and the only resume you get is a "Senior Developer with Team Lead Experience" you interview them anyway...
When that interview reveals their resume is fiction, and they're very junior.
1 -
I'm in a programming school that gives only projects in C and a method to learn quickly.
Then we don't have official web classes or anything so we have "Labs" or "Clubs" and last time I was at a web programming club, leaded by students (because it gives me some more credits).
I was very surprised because they began to try to learn us the Javascript without talking about DOM.
And their explications about server-side and client-side codes were not clear (and obviously not exhaustive).
I have some (not a lot neither) experience in web programming so I helped him to make his course more understandable but I can't believe that these courses are given by students who don't have any idea of what's web programming...3 -
Going into uni, the first thing I did (like many others) was to join an on campus organization (club/group). I made the choice of joining my unis publication. Little did I know 2 years ago that I had just joined the top most student magazine in this country. (Literally).
Honestly, I was excited. I was the first web developer that qualified that year, and within a year I was able to claim my position as the senior developer. It had been an uphill climb all the way, I was able to redesign the entire website and implement an insane amount of features as well as add both iOS and Android apps to the list of things I had done in a year.
I had loved everything I did, only when I was given my new position as senior dev did I see the reality of being in this magazine.. it's in total chaos. Every year we elect new editorial members (as old ones graduate) however the new ones have no idea how to run the magazine, they have literally declared that were in crisis mode. Being in an art school were all about creativity, and honestly, there is nothing creative about our magazine anymore.
Suddenly after two years I feel that my work no longer matters to them anymore. I have thought about quiting a million times now but they would take away my grant if I did (we get a subsidy for working for the magazine). I have two more years and I feel like absolute shit being in this magazine, my work is never credited and I am never mentioned either! While I am the reason they have a face on the internet, they never once have credited me. I don't feel like I belong in the team anymore. I feel like they only have me there is because they can't find a replacement nearly as good. (I'm sorry but I consider myself the best.)1 -
Just got reminded in the comments of another rant, that theres a .se domain, so my first thought was to register per.se (torilla tavataan) - sadly it wasn't available, since some football club/team is owning it, what a nice domain name 😂
1 -
My new co-worker, a Jr. developer who started 2 weeks ago told me; "I am starting to see in my dreams the solutions of my tasks."
"Welcome to the club.", I said. :P2 -
Turns out I'm terrible at meeting people. Go figure, it's the cliche of being a dev.
I just moved into a pretty nice apartment in a nice area, but I I know literally nobody here aside from coworkers. The only friend I have left that hasn't moved away is in jail for a good while. 😧
The only place I can think to meet people is at a bar/club - which isn't really my thing. Even then, just walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation just seems fucking weird to me.
Anybody have any advice on making new friends in basically a new town?14 -
@ashokramcse I bought it at the end, so sad when people ask me: Why are you wearing a club penguin gildan hoodie? 😥😥
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Stack Overflow is a great resource for all sorts of programming hints and tips, information and...sadly, desinformation. But if you want to comment on something someone's said you need 50 reputation points. How to achieve that when you need rep points to do anything that could earn you rep points? It's a catch 22 for newcomers that are like totally excluded from any discussions at SO which is more sort of a read-only community to me. This is where devRant shines. Anyone can rant about anything and comment on anyone's rant. Some rants and comments are stupid, and some are great. In the end of the day, freedom of speech is a great thing.9
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So I was working on a website for a club in my college. I designed a pretty decent UI and at first everyone accepted it. So I made a working website with my friend, made backend with node and all was set.
After that, the fucking member of club brought in another graphic designer for changes. And they literally made the whole website with heavy images. The designer made heavy neon backgrounds in Adobe Illustrator and didn't even compressed it.
They made the whole fucking website with images and they ran it all on localhost and were happy with the speeds! ಠ_ಠ
They even put an image in fucking Navbar!
And then I left that project, I could not see more destruction.1 -
I guess Motorola decided to join the Slow Down Your Device So You'll Buy The Next Model club. I had a Moto G5s Plus I bought not too long ago. I mainly use it for debugging now.
I mean, can't prove anything, all I can say for certain is their last update, literally, the final one they plan on releasing for that model, made the device so slow it was useless.
So I unlocked it and put LineageOS on it. Not easy, since there's no official build for it. Once I got it working, all the issues with the stock firmware vanished. It runs faster than it ever has.
Now I get greeted with a message when it boots telling me that the device was unlocked and can't be trusted, because, you know, we can all trust cell phone manufacturers to not put a bunch of spyware on our phones.4 -
And so I joined the club of receiving them fine looking stickers and shall proudly put them on me laptop! Thank you @dfox !
5 -
Sooooo... I've felt a bit lost during my years as a student and maybe this is a nice place to finally talk about it.
I've had my first programming experiences in school (back then it was delphi, a Pascal variant), then decided after graduating I want to study computer science. I've stuck with it and will finish my masters degree in a few months. (Took me a year longer than the university plans but will likely have a very good grade)
Since i have little programming experience and never coded anything useful (mostly study projects or simple programming tasks) I've always been struggling with depressions, worries of being not good enough and never finding a job etc pp, but in the last few months it got worse since I NEED to apply for jobs now as i graduate next may. I'd really like to improve and found some "learn how to code" websites but the progress seems still slow and meaningless when I compare myself to all those guys out there:
- those comparing several hardware/software pieces casually since they know all the (dis)advantages and specs off by heart
- those who have fierce discussions about languages, libraries, runtimes etc
- those who solve the problems in coding websites with 3 lines and incredibly mathematicsl proofs for why this shortcut works (fastest)
- basically the guys who discuss so many things i've never even heard of
I just feel so lost, useless and like i missed years of learning things everybody else just obviously knows now. Is there any way to catch up? I thought about trying to join a local Chaos Computer Club but they sound like they wouldn't be fond of a noob like me.6 -
How are Coding Bootcamps and what are they like?
A little background:
I’ve been going to a University (have a year left for a CS degree) and I am so EXTREMELY frustrated. I thought I would get an education but it’s so underwhelming. 95% of it doesn’t involve programming and the classes that do are so elementary that I know more than the professors. By the end of my web design course we had been taught to center text, insert images, insert links, and how to use tables with a single day on CSS using colors.
The OOP courses are all the same, learn variables, types, conditionals, loops, classes, functions, and so forth. Python, C++, and Java. I taught all this to myself when I was 15, I’m 29 now.
I’ve recently gotten extremely interested into full stack web development. .NET Core, React, Typescript. I’m also working with Electron. I’m basically 100% self taught and spend almost every waking moment trying to learn more and apply it.
There’s only one person at my school who has the same passion as me and he’s the president at the coding club but is going into machine learning and big data (I’m the Secretary) and I just wish I could interact with more people who have the same passion. I would love to be challenged. I feel as if I spend more time trying to learn and diagnose problems then applying my knowledge because web development is so complicated when it comes to connecting everything together and I’m still relatively new to it (started like 4 months ago). I’m an extremely fast learner and extremely dedicated so I’m not worried about that being an issue.
I just really want to be a part of a community where I have people who can answer my questions and I don’t have to spend hours or days on google finding a solution to integrating Webpack or using typescript with react, and more. I want to feel challenged.
Can I get this from a boot camp? I recently listened to a podcast from Syntax and it really excited me but I don’t want to be let down again. Either way I’m finishing my degree to get that bullshit $60000 piece of paper but I wouldn’t mind taking a couple months off for something like this if it’s worth it.
I live in CO so if you have any Bootcamps in CO that you recommend, I’d love to hear it and take a trip to check it out in person.
Thanks a bunch!10 -
Fucking microshaft! I bought a custom controller from their shop as a birthday gift to my brother. Fucking first thing the website crashes with 500 with my main account so I call support. Said them its a backend issue and they should let the devs investigate. Support says they can't even contact them in anyway shape or form. Fucking great!
So since my account seems to has broken their backend I create another account using some random email while support tells me to fucking log in and out again (yeah man I tried that). OK wonderful new account worked I can buy the controller.
Now one year later the controller just fucking stops working (probably why its called Xbox one! controller). Wonderful I paid 90€ for that shit thing and now it won't connect anymore. Tried everything and searched countless forums, nothing helped. Fuckers say: JuSt ConNeCT iT tO YoUr XbOx oNe and it might magically work (TM). You fuck I bought it for PC why the fuck can I not just fix it using a PC. Do you want me to buy a fucking Xbox for 500 bucks just to get the fucking controller to work!? You shitfaced monkey!
OK then lets try that support again because that worked so well last time. I put in the serial number and... Fucking unrecognized number. Unrecognized number my ass. Go suck on a spiked club you buffoon!
Now I'm fucked because I don't have the fucking receipt anymore and the email was send to that fucking temp account I don't even know the email address for anymore (ノ°益°)ノ1 -
One of our clients is a club near my town.
My ex loved to go there.
The club finally asked me to manage the access to the club through the CRM we made for them.
So I could literally let her in for free and none would notice. Now I might even make her pay extra, but who cares... -
I've started participating in my university's student programming club. In one of the core projects I found the following lines of code:
class User(models.Model):
password = models.CharField(max_length=100)
...
I feel like I need to do something about it.3 -
Projects I left behind...
- Voice assistant for people with movement problems (also to send text /make calls while driving)
- client database for my community club (they are using a excel file till I finish)
- CNC helper... The only one I'm developing, with tables and sheet cheats for my work (and any other cnc machine worker), there isn't anything like that in the playstore
- Get a girlfriend
- make a baby -
During my time at university my friend got me a job, he said. He explained there was someone who was a member of some student club where they needed a website. Me and this person met and discussed the scope of the project, "nothing major but it will take some time" I thought to myself.
I gave her a rough estimation and told her my rate (extremely cheap). She looked at me and said "I was thinking a case of beer would be enough?".
We were both students, but seriously?? I almost contacted a proper company to give them the details just to get a real cost estimation to shove it in her snug fucking face! -
They offered 50% off if I signed up for their "club" at the clothing store
Needless to say I used my spam account to sign up2 -
Making an app for Android and iOS, for a football club in league.
Android, naturally is no problem.
iOS.....
"Your app or its metadata appears to contain misleading content.
Specifically, your app includes content that resembles one or multiple third-party sports teams and/or leagues."
....yes....because it's an app for a football club in a league.
What else can I do about that? Can I have more specifics?5 -
Any devs out here who are into martial arts training ?
It's been a month since I joined kickboxing classes. However , I have never met a fellow dev who is into martial arts. What about you guys ?12 -
Sr. Management gives talk about leadership. What he/she doesn't understand is that leadership is like Fight Club.
The first rule of leadership is that you do not talk about leadership.
The second rule of leadership is that you DO NOT talk about leadership!5 -
!rant
A while ago I ranted about how the programming club in my school decided to start teaching programming with arduino and it was causing the students to drop out because they were finding it hard, well today I went to the club and got there 10 minutes late, yet when I arrived, thinking that they would have started without me, there was only 2 people other than the instructor and assisstant. And the funny thing is that although 90% of the class stopped going to the programming club because they were finding arduino hard, the instructor still doesn't want to teach anything else and is adamant on teaching them arduino.
What a fucktard3 -
I started building an application for FIDAL (Italian Federation of Athletics) because why not: I was bored and wanted to learn Flutter.
There is no API, but I didn't even expect it. Parsing the HTML is easy enough.
BUT OH MY GOD THE ENTIRE WEBSITE IS SHIT. Take this page: http://www.fidal.it/graduatorie.php, it uses some useless jQuery plugin and uses a buttload of JavaScript that isn't even needed. BUT WAIT. Try entering an invalid "club code" (http://fidal.it/graduatorie.php/...), a FUCKING white page with 200, are you kidding?
I'd also like to mention that all pages that require form input won't load correctly if you don't include "submit=Invia" in the URL.
I am not giving up.3 -
And here it is, the infinite monkey club
https://www.infinite-monkey.club/
This is a crooked version of the infinite monkey theory, which is much much easier to accomplish.
Maybe the monkey will succeed before I die7 -
Soo.... when does devRant go from Fight Club to Project Mayhem? Will we have to stand outside of @dfox and @trogus's apartment for 3 days?2
-
**Front End Job Interview**
Recruiter:We want people that have 7 years in react
Me: Well I have 5 considering react came out in 2014
Recruiter:So why did you come here ?
Me:I’m broke, I need a job and I have skills
Recruiter:Ok then..
Recruiter:For your code question,we want you to make a responsive web page with these frameworks and the source code.
*gives link to source code*
Me:Ok I can finish this in 3-5 days
Recruiter:we expect that you have 2 days to finish this
Me: Ok challenge accepted
*Finished website in 2 days*
Recruiter:This is a well made website, I’m impressed
Me:Thank you, it took time but I did it
Recruiter:You know what that means
Me: What?
Recruiter:Welcome to the club, you start next week
Me:LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOHOO, I’ll make you proud with my skills!!!!.
Moral:If you have a little humor and skills, you WILL get the job
I started the job a week later and it was AMAZING
*Based on a true story*2 -
Tech lead is getting on my friggin nerves. The tech lead keeps all the important info about the project for himself, does no sort of coding just merges stuff on Git and makes me handle any small fry problems which give me little to no insight into the project.
Then complains to the manager about the fact that nobody will help him and he has no time to do any work.
Meanwhile he creates own little club of people to talk to and stops talking to us devs.
Is this how its always been?7 -
Just went to my highschool's computer science club meeting. My first annoyance was that they were going to have a 'girls who code' thing...But, they were in the same group as general population. So, essentially, it's separated between girls who code and human beings who code.
Then they said that they would likely be using Eclipse throughout the year. We may be having a bit of a debate -
A few months back, I was having the last few days of my college / university. Already had a job offer, wasn't fond of attending classes, so I had not much to do. I had been a student placement coordinator, and a few of other student coordinators along with the University Placement Cell decided to overhaul the current placement structure with a new, more efficient one. So, they asked whether I could take interviews (along with a few others) for new placement coordinators, who'd take over the following year, making the existing posts null and void.
So, I was interviewing a 2nd year girl for the technical team. In her form, she had mentioned that she'd been an executive member of the programming club of our University, founded the previous year, was peaking in terms of popularity among other clubs.
I found it strange, and during the interview, I kept pushing it until she accepted that she was just a member and not an executive member.
Then, I asked, do you know Bugs Buggy (name changed)... She said, yes, he is the founder of that club. I said, I am, Bugs Buggy.
Felt thug life B)1 -
Some user profiles I thought were worth stealing for a post:
PonySlaystation
"Full Stack Software Engineer, Electrical Engineering Student driven by OCD & Club Mate."
'club mate' read: probably white powder and ritalin. I heard he once dismembered a horse and put the bloody head in a rivals bed.
uyouthe
"Russian assassin leader, Apple fanboy. Tabs ftw"
Comrade, apple is bushwazee capitalist filth. Onlytrue comrades use windows, because the upgrade is free.
Root
"Magical processor fairy; part-time misanthropic bane of idiots. 🧚♀️🏹 Ergo sum miseriae"
Do you sprinkle magical processor fairy dust in each new generation of chips to increase their
clock rate? -
I just came home from opening of the fiscal year of a small drivers' club and it was quite an amazing life experience.
I got about a 5-times "rise" for a first, small, post-due-time project.
All of the members were so relaxed in one of the most serious moments of an association. We ate, drank beer and had as much fun as possible without break the law and other rules.
The story goes like this:
I was an intern in a website development company as students tend to do. In middle of the internship my teacher asked me if I'd be willing to develop a website to the before mentioned organization.
School will help with the money by being as a middle-man. It wasn't going to pay much, about 120€ or so, it's nothing really for the job, but I said yes for the experience. We organized a meeting, school provided the space, and went straight to the business.
The development went quite well: I got the final design requirements late (there weren't too much), research a lot about CMS:s, ended up with a beta version CMS (a risk), learned it, developed some plugins (not published yet), kept copyrights for most of the work and so on.
I was done _relatively_ quickly with the project and was quite happy with it. Only things still pressing my mind was bugs of the beta CMS, support for the plugins and my somewhat inexperienced graphical design.
Then it hit me, the world. Hosting, domain transfer, certificates, registry agreements. Arrgh. Most of things were fine, I know them. I had luck that I had a technical contact for the club. It would have been a nightmare of it's own otherwise.
We had problems transferring the domain, again, as you do. The other hosting company was to blame. They were the n00bs here. I went trough the law, technical guidance, etc. I was having heavy messaging with my technical contact about it, who was a middle-man for me and the hosting firms.
After a long while loop of waiting, reconfiguring, researching and messaging, until he transfer was finally over.
We had a long while of radio silence after some bug fixes. Until the Christmas came and I was invited to a Christmas party in a cottage, third Christmas party that year. It was great fun. We ate, drank, talked, went to sauna and had a playful adult stiga or sledging competition, etc.
I updated the site yet again, a stable version of the CMS were published. Yess!
Another radio silence came and year changed. It was broken off by a call to the opening of the fiscal year, the same day. This is today, or yesterday by now. This was just after my current company's board game night. I was really busy that day. A whole afternoon of second-hand shopping around the city with a bike. I counted 35 kilometers. Yes I go by bike, don't own a car or have an driving license... Yet.
I wasn't horribly late, around 30 minutes. I started eating and drinking. Free food and beer! They was also late, they should've got trough the business before I got there, before eating. So I ate and listened. Learned more about having business or an association in general. Until my matter came to be heard. They thanked me of the co-operation and made public the change of my reward sum, I WAS GRANTED 500€ REWARD for the work. It's still not an amazing sum in a larger point of view, but I can imagine that it's big deal for a small non-profit organization, which was loosing money. Everybody applauded, every 25 members of the club. I was greatly pleased. I will have to update their site a bit still, but they are going to pay the reward ASAP.
Did I mention that the school works around the taxes, legally. Taxes for the reward, if it were assumed as a wage would be 15%, for me, at the worst case scenario, only for getting the money to my hands.
I was offered another gig at the event, but didn't promise anything yet. I left before sauna, so we didn't get to change contact details. He will find a way to reach me if he really wants so. I'm a busy free man.3 -
When the docs are on a different Pompey Pirates floppy that you didn't copy at the monthly computer club.1
-
It really grinds my gears when new hires just start adding themselves to every fucking slack channel and then start crapping up the channel history with irrelevant chatter.
Business Analysts and Project Managers do not need to be in #developers sending mock-ups to a UI/UX designer for one team, or posting an xkcd strip you found on the internet because you "got it" and you think you are proving that you are one of us by posting it there. This channel isn't a fucking club, its where ALL developers at this company across all teams share tools and practices for us to maintain consistency and best practices and to improve our craft, or to give a heads-up about vulnerabilities.
There is a specific channel for your role, and your project. You don't need to be everywhere and in every conversation. And for fuck's sake, PLEASE stop @someone adding people to these channels just because you think you saw something in there posted by someone else that they should see. You can just fucking share that message directly with that person, or in another channel.9 -
Head of PM and head of UI/UX at my company today expressed to me that they are going to change how user created content is displayed because they know what looks better. I don't think they understand what user created content actually is. I can't believe these people are in charge of anything. I swear they just belong to a club of management types that read the same blogs and follow each other from job to job destroying everything in their wake like a locust swarm.
-
Who doesn't like free* games?
I like me some prime day games!
https://gaming.amazon.com/home
* Amazon Prime subscription required.
15 -
I got our climbing club web page to maintain. It was written in PHP by our older member. So I learned programming and slowly added new features.2
-
The first rule of devRant is;
we DO NOT talk about devRant.
The second rule of devRant is;
WE DO NOT TALK about devRant!2 -
Dear Dark Side #6
Clean secret stripper club pervs:
Hit Alt Space on targeted machines
If a stripper shows on the desktop, purge
If a password prompt, demote4 -
I joined a sort of computer science club in 2014 that had everyone learn python on http://codecademy.com. Two weeks later I started learning JavaScript on the same site.
-
#nonDevRant
A club I started is doing a photo op with a major newspaper without me, as I'm gonna be out of town, and they have to publish in two days, so photo op needs to be done tomorrow. :-(
Am I being kiddish, because I'm pissed?6 -
I am currently working on a container orchestration based on lxc with multi node support. It is coming along nicely.
First real project apart from some little things for my sports Club. -
Friend just quit job, tells HR in an exit interview about how they are putting marks over people just for not share ideas or disagree on decisions of HR.
HR goes and put marks over all the people that was friend of my friend.
Even the ones related to his algorithms club.
(By putting marks I mean: points at/put final notice letters/similar)2 -
Quirk of C++ (also C I think)
int array[]={1,2,3,4,5};
int temp = array[0]; //valid access
int temp2 = 0[array]; // also valid
C++ is a member of the Foot Shooters Club languages of choice.
Also, this weekend I learned you cannot have a vector of references:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
Well, at least not without some pain.5 -
So. I began college this year. I will be majoring in Computer Science. There first thing as a new student I did was signed up for the Computer Science Club and excited for the new adventure I asked, "What are we going to do?
President: "Nothing. We don't have any programmers or budget. But you can do whatever you want."
I don't know what I felt: maybe lost? a little dead inside?
What a disappointment.
6 -
I believe that I have found the worst feeling in the world.
Not when a push to production on Friday fails. But when a few of your teammates don't want to do JACK FUCKING SHIT. The worst ones are where they think you fabricated projected expenses for raspberry pies, and thus believe that you are apart of some communist conspiracy.
They also believe that cheap AWS ec2 instances are crappy for teaching some basic fucking command line and git to high schoolers!!
I feel like a need a brick handy at all times just to chuck it at a wall. -
I'm going to be starting a programming club at my High School. Any ideas for projects? We're CS focused4
-
I would like to take this moment to thank @Jase for FINALLY getting me to +100! I feel like it's taken me so long compared to most other people.7
-
Entered into Arch club recently.
I've installed i3-gaps on my arch but looks very bad.
What I am missing?🤔9 -
Started with flow chart programming in a robotics club after class in middle school.
Joined another club where I spent the first 3-4 weeks learning Python and JS basics on freecodecamp.
Programming classes on algorithms and frameworks in high school and college.
Beyond that, mostly reading documentation, stackoverflow and some udemy courses. -
By not having a social life 😅
EDIT: except for that one time a month when I go to a club and get totally wasted and actually have friends for a day. -
When you enter a college club as a Tech recruit, but they send you for organising fucking events. 😡😡
I mean, are you Mr. Miyagi from fucking Karate Kid movie? -
I just finished up a blog post on using debugging tools and Python to download HLS videos:
https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...2 -
Any thoughts on clubhouse app, seems like a neat concept. (Seems like twitch tv but better )
Also should we make a devrant club ?4 -
Did some math and to get into the three comma club a person most sell software for 60 bucks to 17 million people. Turns out COD has made a billion.
-
I had played some child games on a computer, but I never really cared untill my friend showed me Club penguin. Those were the days
-
Trying coffee for the first time. What should I get. (I have tried sips before and I hated the taste of the caffeine)4
-
At the club, only one sitting... will spectate and bring intel when possible... think I'm spotted will report asap
-
How do I balance my social life with dev life? Well, I try to meet with my friends at least 2 times a week, on fridays I'm taking dancing lessons, after that me and people from lessons go out for a bear and maybe to a club. There is also a girl there who I would like to meet more, but she is older and I'm shy as fuck. The rest of my time is mostly dev5
-
Any apps you think could be better... Like tinder messenger I think is terrible... I mean it takes 5-6 hours to build a better chat system then that...
What are they doing.
Ho the extra mile1 -
Fuck all of that ego shit, that lil boys club garbage. Fucking douchebag. Don't project your insecurities on me you fucking pissbaby. I gladly invite you to eat my great pumpkin, dumptruck-sized, volumptuous ass. I hope god sends millions of ants after you and they eat you slowly. Why cant you just be nice to others.9
-
Unicorn Themed day at code club ^_^
``` """ unicorn finder """
from random import randint
class UnicornFinder:
""" UnicornFinder class finds uncorns """
def __init__(self):
pass
def find_unicorn(self):
""" find a unicorn """
unicorn = True
for i in range(0, 31):
if randint(0, 7) != 7:
unicorn = False
break
if unicorn:
print("u200 unicorn found")
else:
print("u404:: unicorn not found")
if __name__ == '__main__':
UnicornFinder().find_unicorn()
```1 -
We go to see a customer for a small project, probably 1/2 month dev and few thousand $, basically a small member page for a small local club.
"We want something exactly like this" he says. He opens the browser, logs in Linkedin, I wait.
"Something like this" he repeats.
I finally understand.
Well - I say- Login page and profile picture upload, yes we can do it...2 -
Probably acting. I loved to go to the acting course at school. Played a bigger role in a theatre play in that same school. I was more of a quiet guy, but had no problem turning into (most) roles and playing scenes.
Had a good friend who was part of a theatre club and passionate too, so working with him was even more fun.
My role-play seemed to be so impressive/surprising, that it was praised in the final year book by several anonymous comments inside my profile page.
Today I'm a CS grad and acting is still interesting, although it's unlikely that I will pursue this path. -
Hey folks!
I'm looking for some software or service to manage the referees in my sports club.
I want to assign people (and maybe even groups of people) to a specific game and have an automatic notification for them. Then the assigned referee should be able to confirm or deny the assignment.
Some extras would be something like a counter of how many games each specific referee has done and some kind of calendar where the referees can block some dates where they don't want to have a game.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance! -
(No punchlines just a rant sorry, very angry at this person. Can't leave the club. Talked to seniors about it. Talked to coworkers for some voluntary help. No help here ;-;)
Yesterday: we need to have a meet to plan things out. 3 PM?
Rainbow eating monster: Yes
Yesterday 5 PM: Reminder
Rainbow shitting monster: I can't I have important things
Yesterday 5:01 PM: Children eating monster (in group): hey yall watching the event going on rn
Yesterday 5:02 PM: is this what you're busy with?
Rabbit pooping monster: this of course I can't miss. And anyways I have 5 more things to do: thing that I've already done, this club meet that you asked me to do yesterday and I said I'd have done, a meet with a friend, I'm having lunch now, and a meet with you. Hence I can't meet with you.
...
Today (in group): Kidney stealing monster: @me (irrelevant to discussion) can you meet for other thing that *I* was supposed to do a week ago?
Will you be available @me at 5 PM?
Okay everyone, assuming @me is available, tentatively we meet at 5 PM.
Today 12 PM: i wake up to this faeces3 -
We got this feature on our app where if you change the status of an action item, it moves down/up to join its brethren of the same status at the bottom of its respective grouping. This is also true for creation.
Problem is: Testing.
I embarked upon this fuckin ridonkulousness today where I had to test all possible scenarios. Empty list, list with only A status, list with only B, list with A and B, list with A and C, etc etc
9 fucking hours later and a lot of anger, I am finally done. I powered back probably 10 club sodas, 6 teas, and had chillstep rollin all day.
If y'all ever feel like giving up because shit's hard, keep pushin. You'll get it eventually ;)1 -
Started with a gamemaking club on campus and we are planing using Unity However I don't know C# I have the documentation and Unity's tutorials but was wondering if any of you know an easier way to get the basics3
-
Please note did go to exotica within the next 6 months also visited said club and umm have a date with a cutie as well if you people are going to keep repeating things John needs the fun things to continue as well so he doesn't murder people who quite deserve to die !!!! Bahaha5
-
Pythonic code is like a secret club – everyone talks about it, but you're never quite sure if you're doing it right2
-
Is it only I that hate these crappy .gTLD's that ICANN opened up for.... .date .club .store .xyz .pro .download , already lost count on how many of these TLDs I have banned in my exim4 due to a 100% spam rate...
like a long banlist of *.date, *.xyz, *.store and so on...10 -
tests boy
- balding in his late twenties
- thinks that React is a framework
- favorite book is either 1984 or fight club
- came to IT to make an impact but obviously lacks determination to do so. Prefers not to think about it
- doesn’t know why and for what he wakes up every morning. Stopped thinking about it 7 years ago
- has a girlfriend that doesn’t allow him to penetrate her, only hugs and cunnilingus
- already forgot how does a blowjob feel like
- when it’s too hot in his room when he tries to sleep, he gets up and opens the window, and after that he doesn’t want to sleep anymore, and tomorrow is a yet another working day
- unexpected slack message sound he hears when not at the office triggers his fight or flight response
- still salty about CSS vertical-align: middle not instantly centering the element vertically
- just like 5 years ago, every day he thinks that after he learns That New Thing, he’ll begin The Real Life, and his current career state is temporary
- loves to say “it’s not my job” but only says that if absolutely sure that he won’t be reported for that
- uses vscode
- thinks he’s an engineer1
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