I did a fucking scientific study about fucking rants and found a fucking high correlation between the usage of "fuck" and the number of fucking upvotes.

A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.

Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."

Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)

"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls

*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc

Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la

*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc

Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"

TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."

Friend: hey i heard you are a programmer.
Me: yeah
F: so you are a hacker?
M: No. Well yes but the correlation is bavkwards.
F: oh ok.

...

F: so can you hack facebook?

Simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability.

I put those words on the wall in giant vinyl letters, and I point to them every time someone asks me "can you add a frontend button which checks this external API and stores the correlation between the amount of rain and the sales numbers of purple buttplugs inside the user profiles?"

People always ask for one more column in a table, one more paragraph under an image — they never ask for replacement or removal of items.

So I force them. Want a feature? Fine, if you point at something of equal or greater complexity to delete.

Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...

There's a strong correlation between the people that think Windows 10 is 'terrible', and those that take a photograph of their monitor using their phone.

Our university's way of telling us our fate.

"Interpret your result"

I changed jobs 2 years ago and, coincidentally, I haven't written a single rant ever since. I wonder if there's a correlation between these two events 🤔

I've determined that there is a direct correlation between profanity and upvotes. So... FUCK!

In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.

Every time I rant about JS, I get accused of:
- being a noobie
- not "REALLY" understand JS
- being an incel
- being dumb or low IQ

I'm starting to see a pattern of behavior, similar to the far right or far left political people on Twitter, and highly religious people.
I know, correlation != causation but it makes me think that maybe emotional attachment to ideas is bad for the brain

In another news. COVID-19 continues to ravage certain places of the world. Most notably India (for right now)

Is there a mathematical correlation between this and the decrease of scam calls asking about your social, vehicle warranties, IRS frauds etc?

A friend mentioned that he has not gotten scam calls in a while now, I noticed this as well. I would normally have vendors contact me daily, vendors with shitty practices and poor sounding accents that insist on them having names such as "Joe" or "Steve". This sucks for India since I believe it is a country with absolutely beautiful cultural heritage and good people. But man, the decrease in scam calls from there is outstanding now.

As you can see from the screenshot, its working.
The system is actually learning the associations between the digit sequence of semiprime hidden variables and known variables.

Training loss and value loss are super high at the moment and I'm using an absurdly small training set (10k sequence pairs). I'm running on the assumption that there is a very strong correlation between the structures (and that it isn't just all ephemeral).

This initial run is just to see if training an machine learning model is a viable approach.

Won't know for a while. Training loss could get very low (thats a good thing, indicating actual learning), only for it to spike later on, and if it does, I won't know if the sample size is too small, or if I need to do more training, or if the problem is actually intractable.

If or when that happens I'll experiment with different configurations like batch sizes, and more epochs, as well as upping the training set incrementally.

Either case, once the initial model is trained, I need to test it on samples never seen before (products I want to factor) and see if it generates some or all of the digits needed for rapid factorization.

Even partial digits would be a success here.
And I expect to create multiple training sets for each semiprime product and its unknown internal variables versus deriable known variables. The intersections of the sets, and what digits they have in common might be the best shot available for factorizing very large numbers in this approach.

Regardless, once I see that the model works at the small scale, the next step will be to increase the scope of the training data, and begin building out the distributed training platform so I can cut down the training time on a larger model.

I also want to train on random products of very large primes, just for variety and see what happens with that. But everything appears to be working. Working way better than I expected.

The model is running and learning to factorize primes from the set of identities I've been exploring for the last three fucking years.

Feels like things are paying off finally.

Will post updates specifically to this rant as they come. Probably once a day.

I wonder what the correlation of devRant usage looks like when compared to GitHub being down.

2 Questions for guys [and gals, let's not be sexists..] with beards.

1. Why the beard? :)
2. What dev are you [bkend/fend/fstack, what lang.?]? Or admin?

I wonder if there is a correlation..

Python is a fucking joke. "Readability" disguised as 150+ magic methods and values. Virtual environments to hide shitty dependency management. Strings that may or may not act as comments. No correlation between package and module names - install Pillow; import PIL. **kwargs instead of options=dict(), because why separate function arguments from arbitrary extra data? And finally, the only way to have tkinter on Windows is to install IDLE, so that some fucktard can stick their shitty app right up yours ...

So, i've noticed something:

- My grandfather drinks nothing but the water.
- My grandmother recently increased her water intake due to meds making her retain water way less
- My dad has been drinking more water in an attempt to be healthier.
- I don't drink the house water without boiling it first, as i'm the only one that thinks it smells and tastes like wet dog smells, aside from with like kool-aid or similar where the taste is masked enough to not be detectable.

Well, what does this matter? I'll tell you:
- My grandfather went from fine aside from minor balance issues to totally mentally fried in 24 hours.
- My grandmother is spacing out while driving and falling more and more.
- My dad went from fine to overwhelmed by basic decisions in a couple months of moving here.
- I've noticed a slight decline in my mental health, but this is probably from issues i've had with my college and general stress.

Correlation ≠ causation, but... it's usually-unfiltered water from a well placed uncomfortably close to a lagoon, and it was never tested for safety before use (despite my protests.)

The number of tabs open in Chrome is a direct correlation to the amount of coffee I need on any given day.

Recently I updated my current company on LinkedIn to "Confidential" and the description to "Great opportunity. Great company. Blah blah blah"
Since then,I've been getting more messages from recruiters. Any correlation?

There is a positive correlation between how stressed I am and how many tabs I have open in my browser.

Developers love sleeping.
Because they love dark themes.

I absolutely hate software to the point where I started converting from sysadmin to becoming more like a dev. That way I could just write my own implementations at will. Easier said than done, that's for sure. And it goes both ways.

I think that in order to be a good dev, you need these skills the most:
- Problem solving skills
- Creativity, you're making stuff
- Logical reasoning
- Connecting the dots
- Reading complex documentation
- Breaking down said documentation
- A strong desire to create order and patterns
- ...

If you don't have the above, you may still be able to become a dev.. but it would be harder for sure, and in some cases acceptance will be lower (seriously, learn to Google!)

One thing I don't think you need in development is mathematics. Sure there's a correlation between it and logic reasoning, but you're not solving big mathematical monsters here. At most you'd probably be dealing with arrays and loops (well.. program logic).

Also, written and spoken English! The language of the internet must be known. If it's not your first language, learn it. All the good (and crucial) documentation out there is in English after all.

One final thing would be security in my opinion, since you're releasing your application to the internet and may even run certain services, and deal with a lot of user data. Making those things secure takes some effort and knowledge on security, but it's so worth it. At the most basic level, it requires a certain mindset: "how would I break this thing I just made?"

i feel like machine learning is gonna be redundant when used for high level analytics:

`starting up…
scanning through every rant of every user…

analytics found: the score and is in correlation to the sum of the ++ for every rant’

🙄

Why can't Debian just pull their heads out of their collective asses just ONCE and standardize the DEP-5 license syntax with SPDX, which the rest of the world is already using? Do they get sexually aroused over having years long discussions about topics with solutions readily apparent in under five minutes to the average third-grader?

Also, how do they stay relevant with such an absurdly high positive correlation between authority within the project and unwarranted condescension towards anyone inquiring about how to catalyze a change in policy or procedure?

Seriously, if I wanted to be insulted thrice within every sentence and treated like a self-evident waste of skin and air, I'd go spend time with my family! Arghhh!

10K bump but salary is probably still below market for the skills I have... Most likely reason? Trump tax cuts...

I can't showcase my skills in interviews assuming I get any... Not motivated in cramming or studying those useless algorithm questions that have little correlation to actual work.

Whatever.... job pays the bills pretty well... Sorta boring as I'm like the biggest fish on the whole team but that's also the upside I guess... May not be true but I think I'm pretty hard to fire...

So now it's sorta 20% work 80% life... So guess I'm done exploring and just gonna exploit...

P.S I wore this while taking a break from solo karaoking.... (Thursday night)

Recalling the the time I was discussing a web dev based assignment with a classmate( And I wouldn't even go as far as to call it web dev, it was just making connect 4 using js and node).

Me: so did you get to implementing your game with firebase.

Classmate: no, but hey did you use loops for making the board?

Me: ?? There were like 50 elements ofc what did you do.

( Sigh* to think it's going to this)
Classmate: copy pasted

Yup 50 elements copy and paste. like the person I was talking to wasn't even incompetent I mean he had like a 3.5 gpa, how is there any correlation between this stupid number and how they actually code if you can't even code loops. The dude was a 2nd year student. And this wasn't even the only person I heard this from.

Apparently the TAs had to post about how to use loops in Js before we had our lab exam cause so many people copy pasted instead of loops, to think that would ever have to be the case.

The future is not bright.

I saw this quiz. This is Python, right?

I ran this and got '3 44' although I'm not completely sure why the 44. I can see the obvious correlation between 'values [0]' and 'v[0]'. Aside from that I'm not sure.

Can anyone explain this to me?

'Buzzfeed'? More like buzzsh**!
Edit: i tried to put " 'for causality you don't even need correlation' sh***y quices" but devrant still does not accept tags such large

hey guys, im a total noob and new to this field. this post is open for criticism and suggestions.

so i wanna forecast slippage (dependent) using the % WT Plan (planned work, the predictor).

i get -0.35 for correlation.

and im using knn regression

how does this look to you? insights and comments are appreciated. thanks!

I think there’s a correlation between my code quality and listening to A Tribe Called Quest. It’s weird. Everything time I put them on I make great code 🤷‍♂️

SharePoint: Designer is discontinued but they haven't released an alternative method of creating custom workflows...
Also, SharePoint only shows correlation ids, which you'd have to check the logs to see what the error was (no description or error code for user): SharePoint Online doesn't split their logs by client... so they can't give clients access to the logs even if they wanted too. Only option is to contact their support... seems overkill when the error may be a user trying to upload a document with the same name.

Software Idea: correlation between MicroShit updates vs number of rants on that date

guess that would give some interesting results

Fuck Kibana and their latest update. Want to change timeframes? 5 fucking clicks to get there. Changed the query and the timerange? 'update' will only have you looking at the new timerange for the old query which is confusing as fuck if you don't realise it. So you need to click 'update' a second time.

So many times i've been staring at the wrong logs after changing correlation ID and time range just pulling out grey hairs trying to understand what the fuck is going on.

AI is good at helping you solve the variable naming problem

ooo

yeah, daddy, give me some of that intuitive pseudo-neuron correlation power

Excel crashes after some minutes (sometimes seconds) of working perfectly if I have the WakaTime Excel Add-in... correlation doesn't mean causation, but wtf?
I want to report it but I don't have the time to look for logs and Excel shit.

Let's say I take a matrix of high entropy random numbers (call it matrix J), and encode a problem into those numbers (represented as some integers which in turn represent some operations and data).

And then I generate *another* high entropy random number matrix (call it matrix K). As I do this I measure the Pearson's correlation coefficient between J (before encoding the problem into it, call Jb), and K, and the correlation between J (after encoding, let's call it Ja) and K.

I stop at some predetermined satisfactory correlation level, let's say > 0.5 or < -0.5

I do this till Ja is highly correlated with some sample of K, and Jb's correlation with K is close to 0.

Would the random numbers in K then represent, in some way, the data/problem encoded in Ja? Or is it merely a correlation?

Keep in mind K has no direct connection to J, Ja, or Jb, we're only looking for a matrix of high entropy random numbers that indicated a correlation to J and its data.

I say "high entropy", it would be trivial to generate random numbers with a PRNG that are highly correlated simply by virtue of the algorithm that generated them.