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-
*i am a teenager*
*i don't have credit card*
*can't buy anything*
*sees unixstickers is $1*
*pulls out a dollar from physical wallet*
*throws in the air*
*cries*54 -
> finds awesome software
> finishes trial period
> looks at pricing
> looks at bank account
> cries in a corner19 -
Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:
Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *8 -
A little summarised story for ya:
>Makes a rant
>Gets over 200 rants and rising
>Steady rise of increments over weeks
>Gets to 283 increments (hope of getting to 300 for a stressball)
>Updates app
>Literal update log:
"Stressball limit is now 500"
>Cries in a corner
10 -
*Wants to learn a programming language*
*visits Udemy*
*It's costly af*
*Visits youtube*
*Plays learn complete java in 30 min*
*Completed*
*Visits hacker earth*
*Started solving a problem*
-- eternity later--
*Still on same problem*
*Cries in corner*
THE END18 -
Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
I genuinely am lost for words on this one.
I just asked a user to press the wifi button on their laptop so i can check their wired connection was up and running okay.
They couldn’t find the blue ‘Fn’ or ‘aerial’ symbol that i described, so sent me this picture to see if they were pressing the right button.
Like....
What?? No!
What is wrong with you?? Seriously???
*cries*
Working on a helpdesk is destroying my soul!!
7 -
Who said I can't read my own code after 2 months?
*Opens code*
.
.
.
.
.
*Cries in a corner*
*The world hates me*3 -
My sister lending me her credit card to buy something online.
S: "But don't store the number!"
me: "I would never."
S: "I know you can hack it, please don't!!"
me: "Haha okay.."
*cries inside... just because I make websites and 3D design*
me: "Thanks a lot, sis <3"12 -
I finally built a new PC with 8GB memory, i7 4790K and SSD for OS.
My old system was a core2duo with 2GB memory. Android studio used to take 20mins for gradle sync and another 20min for signing apks. "Live preview" and "emulator" was a thing of the future for me. Never used it.
But now things have changed. This thing boots up in less than 5 sec and studio gradle takes less than 30sec. I'm so happy right now! Its like a dream come true! *cries in happiness*
14 -
> finds files called "?" and "?.pub" in home directory. Not sure how they ended up there.
> tries deleting files
> rm ?*
> hits enter and realizes the disaster the very next moment
> cries in corner7 -
*Asks Question on StackOverflow
*Question get downvoted -2
*Replies to my own question with a solution that I found, and it worked
*Reply get downvoted -4
Cries on corner...19 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”4 -
Boss: I need it done by tonight! Or you are fired!
* turns to laptop *
$> sl
* cries as the train passes :') *5 -
Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.
Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").
So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:
"Should groceries really do that?"
He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.4 -
Print 'Hello World' in ReactJS.
# Time - dies
# Memory - cries in silence
# C - gives an evil laugh
7 -
"I think I need to reinstall my python on ubuntu"
* proceeds to remove python
* ubuntu breaks
* tries to fix ubuntu
* ubuntu no longer goes to desktop
* cries
* tries not to cry
* cries a lot
Yeah moral of the story is never uninstall python (at least for ubuntu, idk other linux distros)16 -
I live outside USA
Whenever I see someone posting
something like -
"My devRant stickers arrived!! Wooho see my devRant t-shirts ... "
That's the face I make
*Tries not to cry
Cries a lot
11 -
One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"
Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.
For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.
When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.
Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.3 -
Me: What programming languages do you know ?
Person: I know HTML and CSS and little SQL.
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *cries inside*3 -
FKING. LANDLORD. FKING LANDLORD THINKS MY LAN CABLE SLOWS THE FKING INTERNET BACK TO THE 1990s.
- Prologue
I'm renting at a place that looks good af. But the fking wifi is so slow, 80% of the time you can't even send an empty http request.
- Chapter 1
Okay, maybe it's my laptop. *plugs in cable*. Now the requests fail 10% of the time. Better than nothing. 2 hours later, gets a text saying other housemates are having slow internet because of me. FUCK. Unplugs, LAN cable, uses mobile data and cries to sleep.
- Chapter 2
Tries again after a few days. Barely uses the internet (I'm only using it to play games, not even download it and I used more than this with a 2mbps internet). No videos, no music, just small data exchange with a low ping. GETS A FKING TEXT AGAIN
- CHAPTER 3
My sis comes over and complains that the net is slow af. Plugs in LAN cable while no one is around, everything is fine. Sis leaves, I roll up my end of the LAN cable in my room but leave the cable plugged in on the outside of the room. Next morning, it's unplugged. Plugged it back in before I go to work and when I come back, guess what? ITS FKING UNPLUGGED. AGAIN. AND IM NOT EVEN USING IT.
SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME FROM GOING ON A RAMPAGE SHOVING THE FKING CABLE AND THE ROUTER UP PEOPLE'S ASSES. LAN FUCKING CABLES DONT SLOW THE INTERNET BACK TO THE PREVIOUS CENTURY. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK.23 -
One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.
But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."3 -
"Big data" and "machine learning" are such big buzz words. Employers be like "we want this! Can you use this?" but they give you shitty, ancient PC's and messy MESSY data. Oh? You want to know why it's taken me five weeks to clean data and run ML algorithms? Have you seen how bad your data is? Are you aware of the lack of standardisation? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE MISSPELLED "information"?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE MORE THAN 15 WAYS OF MISSPELLING IT!!! I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DICTIONARY!!! YOU EVER FELT THE PAIN OF TRAINING A CLASSIFIER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THEN YOUR GODDAMN DEVICE CRASHES LOSING ALL YOUR TRAINED MODELS?!!
*cries*7 -
friendsList.getBest().getHelp()
doesn't work.. I thought getBest() returns null.. but it turns out that friendsList is empty..
*cries in whatever language2 -
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies*1 -
The moment when...
1. You buy a new monitor --> Yay!
2. And you don't have the screw to connect the stand and the monitor --> Screw it!
3. And it is Saturday, service center closed. --> But, but, but.....
(cries)4 -
The programming language I'll use on Valentine's day will be only D,
jk, I'll use Java..
(cries in the corner )1 -
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...
I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.
And then another one.
Help.
4 -
Yesterday i bought train ticket to go home and at the ATM this happened :
@wowotek : tell me the exact price nominal
@aureliagbrl : 293,000 Rupiahs (~10 USD)
Me : *entering the nominal fast and rough* 2,930,000
A : hey careful you put too much zero--
Me: *just realize but i clicked the accept button too quickly* doesn't matter my savings is only 6 digits. *re entering the correct nominal*
...
Also Broke ass me : *cries in the corner*
Life is Hard.
6 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better."
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves."2 -
CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.
“Slams fists on keyboard”
I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏🫦
“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”
I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️
*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*21 -
Me: I want to learn Clojure
Me: But I need real tasks to learn
Me: OK, reconnecting device with wireless adb
Inner me: Are you kidding? 5 lines with bash
Me: In clojure it will be more elegant and faster to write similar tasks in future
*2 hours later*
Me: IT WORKS
Internal me: Really? This is ugly as fuck. And the only clojure feature it uses - sh and re-find
Me: But... It... Works... *cries* -
I didn't knew it was this expensive....
(cries in the corner)
Price: $1,302.94
https://amazon.com/gp/product/...
13 -
Six years ago I created a drupal page pro bono for an organization I'm in. Was my first site really, was hacky af, in retrospect, I created an unmaintainable monster. And as it usually happens, I moved away, the site stops being properly maintained, opening admin view just cries "please update me" (or was it "kill"? Not sure here). Now I'm back in town and get a call from the current one in charge requesting a training. I thought this evil dark dev history of mine is now finally returning to hunt me forever. But no, she actually understood it, and after half an hour she was perfectly capable of maintaining the site. I'm stunned.3
-
Created a batch script to write some filenames to a text file using a loop.
Missed out the echo command, the script tries to open 100+ zip files on a production/potato server (I feel like prodtato should be a word).
Server cries and crashes
Dev cries and crashes4 -
So one of my friends has just had a child and it's already a month old...
Was thinking to myself what I've done this past month... Started 4 new projects, cancelled 3 of them already and drank 3 slabs of beer to myself...
Think I know who has had a better time...
*Cries salty Dev tears*6 -
!rant
Two years ago, I started to learn Ruby on Rails so I would at last know a server language even though it wasn't the almighty PHP. Two years ago minus a few months, I decided to put my first website online with Apache and Passenger. It took me a whole six hours with stress and cries for help until I finally saw my website's homepage displayed on my screen
Today, after a few more websites (and currently 3 more projects but still not released, dang it), I tried to update mySQL to 5.7 since I need it to be able to save arrays for a future project, but everything went full shitstorm with broken packages and lame-ass-shit tutorials that make you doubt your sanity.
So I decided to backup my database and my online websites and to reinstall the whole server and take advantage of it to update the current used gems (Rails 4.2 -> 5.1, not bad)
Not only it took me just a bit more than 2 hours to redeploy the websites, but I didn't felt at the edge of panicking once, and now everything works like a charm.
I feel fucking alpha now.2 -
-Friday
Me: *pushes fix for an issue in app*
-Tuesday, the next week
Colleague: "Hey, dude, fid you fix that issue?"
Me: "Yeah, it's available since Friday morning"
Colleague: *e-mails me screenshot with the issue still present*
Me: "That's odd, let me check that on your machine"
Me: *opens the app on his machine, the issue really is there, starting to freak out that I messed up the repo*
Me: "Why the hell would that not work... wait a sec, lemme check something.."
Me: *checks the app version and discovers that it's from 2 months ago*
Me (turns on colleague): "I guess, you should update it to see the newest functionality"
Me: *goes to the toilet, locks himself up, cries*2 -
Java: Cannot convert int to Boolean.
Me: Wait what?.. Ohhh *cries*
I've had too much Vitamin C / C++..
Not used to computer liking me and not letting me shot my head of.. I love you too, Java ..3 -
my 8 month old on her stroller at the grocery:
*cries in screaming*
*is scared of unrecognized faces*
every single old person we pass by:
let's grinstare this thing right on its fucking face.
baby: *cries harder*
old fuck: uh oh, time to go4 -
Me: Found solution on StackOverFlow, lets copy/paste code and try it out
*Clicks ctrl+v*
Computer: There's your value!
Me: Wait that's not what I copied
*notices that I copied from a different computer and expected it to paste on this one*
*cries in corner* T_T6 -
Visual studio is a fucking piece of trash IDE and it should be banned from programming because of how SHIT it is, how can it not let met fucking reference things properly, why can't I acess the FUCKING FOLDER I'VE JUST CREATED, how can it not recognize that I've just added a folder from outside??
WHY EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DIFFUCULT WITH IT??????
Why can't it be smart like Android Studio :cries:
YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MICROSOFT, FIX YOUR FUCKING STUPID PIECE OF SHIT WORTHLESS DUMB IDE, FUCKING BILLIONAIRE COMPANY THAT CAN'T MAKE A SMART IDE, DUMB FUCK VISUAL STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!19 -
> goes to amazon
> finds fluent python book
> wants to order it
> shipping costs almost the same with the book
> cries.7 -
*Designs front-end sends it to my boss*
Boss: Looks good. No changes needed.
*Hosts the design*
Boss: Ah, well these icons need to be different maybe and this font is too boring, try something else.
*Cries internally*4 -
Le me...
*installs devRant*
wew, nice app, digs a bit here & there.
* jumps on the settings*
*sees JOIN THE DARK SIDE?*
*slides the slider and endsUp getting Join devRant SignUp page* :/
*thinking....*
may be there is some uncensored shit is going on a dark side of devRant.i dont want to miss it. :v
*creates an account*
*clicks on JOIN THE DARK SIDE? With over 9999999 excitement*
ends up getting the DarkTheme aka NightMode. ;___;
*cries in the corner*
*y you do dis*
8 -
- be any programmer hired to a job
- do some cool thing that helps the business
- gets labeled as a smart programmer and a helpful team member
- get questions and cries of help from everyone at the office
- get burnt out and refuse to help some people
- get labeled as lazy, bad at my job, and having a bad attitude
- gets shadow fired
- cycle repeats
It’s time to burn down the houses of every rich person - and I hope we actually fully commit this time :)10 -
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*
Error fixed: I am God!2 -
We should not tolerate censorship.
Beyond all the u.s. hype over elections
(and the division in the west in general), the real story is all the censorship on both sides.
Reasonable voices are quickly banned, while violent voices and loud angry people are amplified.
I broke out of the left-right illusion when
I realized what this was all about. Why
so much fighting in the street was allowed, both
justified and unjustified. Why so much hate
and division and slander, and back and forth
was allowed to be spread.
It's problem, reaction, solution.
The old order of liberal democracy, represented
in the u.s. by the facade of the GOP and DNC,
doesn't know how to handle the free *distributed*
flow of information.
That free-flow of information has caused us to
transition to a *participatory* democracy, where
*networks* are the lever of power, rather than
top down institutions.
Consequently, the power in the *new era* is
to decide, not what the *narrative* is, but
who can even *participate*, in spreading,
ideating, and sharing their opinions on that
narrative, and more broadly, who is even allowed
to participate in society itself.
The u.s. and west wants the chinese model of
control in america. you are part of a network, a
collective, through services and software, and
you can be shut off from *society* itself at
the drop of a pin.
The only way they get that is by creating a crisis,
outright fighting in the streets. Thats why
people keep being released after committing serious
fucking crimes. It's why the DOJ and FBI are
intent on letting both sides people walk.
They want them at each others literal throat,
calling for each other's blood. All so they
can step back and then step in the middle when
the chorus for change cries out loud enough.
And the answer will be
1. regulated tech
2. an end to television media as we know it
3. the ability to shut someone off from any service on a dime
4. new hatespeech laws that will bite *all* sides in the ass.
5. the ability to shape the narrative of society by simply 'pruning' networks as they see fit, limiting the reach of individuals on all sides, who are problematic to
the collective direction.
I was so caught up in the illusion of us-vs-them I didn't
see it before now. This is a monstrous power grab.
And instead of focusing on a farce of election, where the party *organizations* involved are institutional facades for industrialists, we should be focusing on the real issue:
* Failure of law to do its job online, especially failures of slander and libel laws, failures of laws against conspiracy to commit crime or assault
* New laws that offer injunctive relief against censorship, now that tech really is the commons. Because whats worse than someone online whipping up a mob on either side, is
someone who is innocent being *silenced* for disagreeing with something someone in authority said, or for questioning a politician, party, or corporation.
* Very serious felony level laws against doxxing and harassment on all sides, with retroactive application of said laws because theres a lot of people on all sides who won't be satisfied with the outcome until people who are guilty are brought to justice.18 -
Clicks "Exploitation and Enumeration" category.
Clicks "Python (HARD)" challenge.
"What is a key that passes the code?"
Opens Python file and sees one line of nested lambda expressions spanning 1,846 characters (no spaces)
*Cries*8 -
When your total cost of the item you bought on Black Friday is cheaper than shipping.... (cries in the corner)1
-
-Discovers new tech
-Follows the "getting started" page
-Spends hours to get the example project working
-Gets bunch of exceptions
-Cries2 -
Spaghetti Code, Spaghetti Code.
Flush it right down the commode,
Spins a call graph, unreadable size,
Anyone who sees it cries.
Look out, here comes the Spaghetti Code!
2 -
Me: *sees everyones desk setup*
Me: *tries to find all the screen in home*
Me: *gets one 5 inch phone and a 15 inch laptop*
*Cries in corner*2 -
Manager redesigned large parts of a website template that I have been working on.
now, this did not bother me one bit but I am pretty sure it has to do with the delivery of the message. She was so happy about the redesign and it really did look better. I could not find it in me heart to not comply and just be happy. Plus she always lets me come in super late :V and she really is pretty and very nice to us.
oh well.2 -
I've had today a meeting with the CEO regarding some designs. Here have some quotes that he made:
1. So you can click, click, click, click, click
2. numbers are so complicated so I just said something
3. I like the vibe in Amsterdam
4. We are doing a rebranding. Our rebranding document is the color of the 2 blues and one orange
5. I've to ask my wife for the design (with no design experience) to make the rebranding documents
6. In <the app our technicians/support use>, you can brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
7. This is what differeniate us between most applications; FAVORITE SQUARES
8. I never watch that mess. I don't even know if it works or have ever worked with it. (talking about a simple table view)
9. You have been reported to the admins (in an admin-only application for our customers)
10. It's always nice to see developers think; when I don't think
11. But it's already an iPhone (when looking at android designs & cries in largest userbase in my country)7 -
Me: *Writes a nice little AWS Lambda service using Java 12*
Reviewing Dev: Lambda only supports JDK 8
Me: *Dies inside and cries as I replace every occurence of var*6 -
/goes to Codewars to improve coding
/always have to look at solutions
/slowly losing faith in self
/cries7 -
“Overhearing powers of the Fullstack dev”
We have an internal control panel (BEEP) to manage our dev Tomcat instances. The other day, with one of my muggle friend, I was trying to restart an instance. There’s a checkbox to clean the host tmp files and directories, ingeniously named as - Purge cache.
Innocent Me (to my muggle friend): bro would Purge cache delete the application log files?
__(Fullstack dev overhearing us)__
Muggle friend: Purge ca... (gets interrupted my the Fullstack dev)
Fullstack dev: so the thing is ... it’s like ... (gotta be consistent with the opening) what “npm purge” does is it deletes the files which are not being used.
Confused Muggle friend: bro it’s a BEEP option to clean the tmp dirs.
Fullstack dev: oh I thought you guys were talking about “npm purge”
Angry muggle friend: then WHY THE FUCK did you answer if you didn’t know [...] the fuck we were talking about.
Calm fullstack dev: FYI. Might help you someday.
Deeply-hurt Me: (what the fuck is “npm purge”). Hey man do you mean “npm prune”? Because they don’t have an npm purge. And what do you mean by “it deletes the files which are not being used”?
Confident Fullstack dev: NO
Me: (cries in npm)
More to come!3 -
Tried getting enough sleep for the Monday and failed miserably.
First, I made my kids washed, like usual, around 6pm. Then tried to put them to sleep. The younger one went to sleep, the older refused. Wanted to play, run, jump, sing and scream. After an half an hour his screaming woke up younger. Now I had two kids to put to sleep back again.
The younger is one year old and requires more attention, otherwise cries.
After serious fight the older was forced to sleep. He tried to jump over me, bite me, kick, hit, eat chocolate, wanted to pee, then jump, run and fight again. I ended up lying him forcibly in the bed, holding his hand by kind of a block, so that he couldn't move to much. Took 15 minutes, but he felt asleep. It was 22. Joys of having 3yo kid.
After more 30 minutes and a bottle of milk the 1yo was sleeping.
At 2am the older woke and cried. I woke, tried to make him calm, he pushed me away and went back to sleep. Now it's 3:40, my sleeping pill wore off, and I won't take another one, because I need to get up at six.
This is how you get a good night's sleep before having a busy week.11 -
I think I made someone angry, then sad, then depressed.
I usually shrink a VM before archiving them, to have a backup snapshot as a template. So Workflow: prepare, test, shrink, backup -> template, document.
Shrinking means... Resetting root user to /etc/skel, deleting history, deleting caches, deleting logs, zeroing out free HD space, shutdown.
Coworker wanted to do prep a VM for docker (stuff he's experienced with, not me) so we can mass rollout the template for migration after I converted his steps into ansible or the template.
I gave him SSH access, explained the usual stuff and explained in detail the shrinking part (which is a script that must be explicitly called and has a confirmation dialog).
Weeeeellll. Then I had a lil meeting, then the postman came, then someone called.
I had... Around 30 private messages afterwards...
- it took him ~ 15 minutes to figure out that the APT cache was removed, so searching won't work
- setting up APT lists by copy pasta is hard as root when sudo is missing....
- seems like he only uses aliases, as root is a default skel, there were no aliases he has in his "private home"
- Well... VIM was missing, as I hate VIM (personal preferences xD)... Which made him cry.
- He somehow achieved to get docker working as "it should" (read: working like he expects it, but that's not my beer).
While reading all this -sometimes very whiney- crap, I went to the fridge and got a beer.
The last part was golden.
He explicitly called the shrink script.
And guess what, after a reboot... History was gone.
And the last message said:
Why did the script delete the history? How should I write the documentation? I dunno what I did!
*sigh* I expected the worse, got the worse and a good laugh in the end.
Guess I'll be babysitting tomorrow someone who's clearly unable to think for himself and / or listen....
Yay... 4h plus phone calls. *cries internally*1 -
Which bastard thought that 'Spotifiy remote' is a good idea?
You never know what you control:
- your phone with your phone
- your laptop with your phone
- your laptop with your laptop
- your phone with your laptop
- your heart with your heartbeat
The guy invented that should get hit with a stick recursively until he cries 'Music should be played on the device that you can control'7 -
A few months ago I ranted about how my first encounter with Assembly was hopefully the last one
Here I am, again, with my second Assembly encounter. However, this time I'm able to read and understand it more, such that I'm even able to compute stack layouts. I don't even hate it that much anymore.
I guess I'm walking the path I couldn't defeat
*cries in %rax*6 -
Me: flutter upgrade
*15 minutes later*
Me: cool all done!
Me: flutter run
Flutter: gotta redownload that successfully installed update all over again because fuck you!
*cries in corner*5 -
/**
Fresh university graduate.
Looks for positions to apply to.
Refines search to "Entry-level".
All minimum qualifications: 5-10 years industry
experience.
Cries.
**/7 -
Spent 2 years of my career learning/working on a peice of technology/framework without proper guidance. Turns out whatever I learnt about it till now is useless
**cries internally**1 -
Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.
Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.
And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.
But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.
Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.
Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.
And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.
In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!13 -
At home: Man I really love code and everything I can do with it. I'm a fucking wizard.
At work: You want me to copy and paste some text into the view for you? Okay... *cries into keyboard* -
Me: Ok, lets jump back into my linux install
*Turns on PC and instantly boots into windows*
Me: Hm, that's odd, maybe I accidentally changed my boot order
*Opens BIOS and sees Windows SSD is first followed by Empty SSD...*
Me: *Cries in the corner realising I have just accidentally removed the Linux SSD and put it back in to try and install MacOS*2 -
Doing college homework! Computer graphics and multimedia! Yaaaay!!
Except....
Well I have to WRITE BY HAND the entire programs ( net about 500 lines, phew ) on PAPER!!
Reason?
Professor: it will help u get thru exams and is a requirement for university. They don’t permit printed. It is a better habit to write ur code than print it.
Me: goes to my corner and cries listening to sad music 😭😭😭
WHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Why do they have to follow prehistoric rules yet!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡4 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.” -
Very senior colleague: *hits a problem that is a minor inconvenience*
VSC: "I have to restart this task, the two weeks I put into it must be deleted!"
Me: "You forgot to do *this* here, add this 1 line and it's ok."
VSC: *An hour of rumbling about the codebase*
VSC: *adds my fix*
VSC: "Ok, it works now, you can review again"
Me: *cries inside*2 -
Don't you hate those startup clients who just don't understand "please give us all your requirements as early as possible" and keep making revisions even after product is released? *cries in the corner*
-
Looking through job openings in case I get shafted so bad here I end up leaving, I see a nice sounding Java role and think "oohhh dis sounds good".
Required experience: Using the Eclipse IDE.
*closes page, cries* -
I never thought big about Whitespaces until Hacktoberfest came by.
Fed up with the amount of PR and notifications I am getting on my repo . Most of the time they create a PR to create a Whitespace and then delete it . Now I have put up a Repository to at least add some joke instead of those Whitespaces13 -
Me, scrolling my way thru a class:
Holy motherfucking, incestloving, glueeating, cognitivedeprived cow!!! I swear whoever made this sorry excuse of a "class" should burn in the deepest, farthest, sweatiest part of the devil's arsecrack being stuck in between his arsechee---
*scroll reaches top of the class*
/**
* @author: Me <me@gmail.com>
*/
Me: *cries* -
She - * I am yours for tonight, do whatever you want.*
Developer - * Can you create a good looking brand logo for my client.*
She - Cries in corner.......🤔😂😂😂😂1 -
I regret moving to backend. I loved the days when I used to write lines of code and refresh my browser for the changes to be displayed on the screen. I loved seeing the output of my code, the code flow, the light weight text editor, the visual satisfaction and the chrome debugger.
Now I am fucked up, I am working on creating microservices for restful api. I am hating everything about it. The fact that I should compile the entire war, manually copy them to a webapp folder, restart my tomcat and wait for 5 minutes just to see my code, and the text editors are just a pain in the ass, the debugger sucks too.
I was so looking forward to being a backend Dev because I thought Java was cool and I also was fedup with cross browser optimizations on the front end. Now I would gladly write a streaming service foe ie6. Spring has fucked me up so hard
God save me from this mess.6 -
"Can't you just…" are the favorite words of my company's president. He uses them like a magic wand. When faced with a complex problem that will take thousands of development man hours, he utters the words, "Can't you just…" He believes that if he can over-simplify the problem, and summarize the necessary work into a sentence or two, it should only take a week or two to complete.
Of course, I then explain that what seems simple to him is actually very complex once you peel back the layers of the problem. I then explain the specifics until his eyes glaze over, and he cries uncle.
A couple weeks later, he has forgotten everything I said, and the Monday meeting begins with, "About that project. Can't you just…"2 -
TLDR; College group projects suck, not because the work, but the people in your group will make or break you. Fuck having 1 week to do this assignment.
Sometimes working with other students on group projects is great, they actually know how to create a merge a git branch. I've had a decent partner once during my 3 years at university so far. This last project takes the cake on idiots I've worked with...so far at least... It was me and two others, we'll call them Thing1 and Thing2 for now. Anyway so the 3 of us had a week to implement a very rudimentary Invoice system; fine, easy enough. We divided up the work and 'started'.
All seemed to be going well, no complaints or cries for help all week. Until 4 hours before we submit the assignment; Thing 1 sends me a DM saying all of Thing 1's work is useless full of bugs and just shouldn't be integrated with the rest of the code. Umm fine? I guess? wtf?! why did this have to come out last minute?! We could have explained to Thing 1 what's going on and gotten him/her up to speed on everything. Believe it or not, I was sorta ok with this? I mean thing 1 hadn't pushed anything to the repo yet. I mean literally nada, Thing 1 is a collaborator on the repo that has contributed nothing. Seeing as how Thing 1 was contributing nothing I had already started to cover our ass a began Thing 1's work.
That's not even what's pissed me off... at least thing 1 had the gall to message me to say "idk..wtf is going on...continue without me". Thing 2 arguably made my time with the project worse. His code was nothing but garbage...every time...literally spent more time deciphering his incoherent bullshit more than I did rewriting his mess. I shit you not he wrote out this method, and tells the group he's "finally got it fixed and working":
public static float updateTotal(float newValue)
{
total = updateTotal(newValue);
return total;
}
How tf did he test this to see if its working?! I'm a novice and can already see the infinite loop here. You called your method within that method's own definition, what did you expect to happen.
I managed to get things 75% working and turned in 5 mins before the cut off.
Thankfully Thing 1 emailed the Proff as well, hopefully he won't tank my grade too bad. I'm so glad to be done with this assignment, fingers crossed there's no more group work.4 -
Recruiters or their bosses with sick ambitions and zero feedback.
Do I need to say more?
Spent few days to make my site looking good on desktop/mobile with few screenshots and even video to show my working projects in production. Even more few days to make really detailed 2 A4 CV with my previous job and what I was doing there. All generated from markdown.
I even saved money around half a year to go and live month in other country (Ireland, Dublin) and then on site send about 150 applications on various sites, emails, linkedout and local IT meetings.
Null, nada, nil, NaN accepted applications.
Is it some kind of joke? All companies almost cries for new workers and they don't even answer someone which founded and have no problem with growing own IT company for almost 5 years with self learnt, practically applied in production linux, HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, Go, bash, KVM and Openvz virtualization knowledge?
What they really want?
Astronaut with Brainfuck and Cobol with fluent backwards speaking Esperanto riding on monocycle with 3 hands and no need for sleep for -1 whoopercoin?1 -
Doing some basic car repair, thinking "this is real work, perhaps I should consider a change", then I drop something that goes into something else into something that looks broken.
Keeping it cool, looking for a keyboard for the good old ctrl+z, a chock occurs... Cries -
Any dev who is asked to give “deadlines” then cried about how it’s “waterfall” and you cannot produce business requirement deadlines in agile methodology needs to stop being dependent on terminology and learn that part of programming is proper estimation.
Milestones, business deadlines and agile can go-exist. Anyone who says they don’t, then cries “waterfall” when asked to produce deadlines greater than 4 weeks out, please never work with me11 -
Me compiling c++ code at 3 am be like:
gcc filename.cpp -o filename
Some error pops up
Cries for a while, looking up for the solution
After writing the whole code again notices was using gcc instead of g++... -
(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."
(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data." -
I'm having to use MS Word again today, and yet again I want to punch my computer in the balls, and frankly I could pull a better piece of software out of a pig's arse.
So there is a feature that automatically adds up the figures in a column to give you a total. Useful, right?
No. Because the total doesn't update automatically. There is even a setting somewhere to have it update before save, and when you turn this setting on, it sometimes updates before save depending on what mood it's in.
You can have it reliably update before you "print to pdf", but not before you "save as pdf".
Fine, there's probably another setting buried somewhere that actually works, but why the fuck is it not turned on by default? What kind of moron wants an automatic total that doesn't update automatically?
I first encountered this feature about 20 years ago, and in all that time none of the thousands of developers at MS has thought "this is shit, let's fix it."
But that's what a developer does, surely. They look at things and say "this is shit, let's fix it".
If you've been looking at something that's so obviously shit, and so easily fixed, for 20 years and not had any urge to fix it, you're not a developer, you're a cretin.
The stupidity cries out from the earth for vengeance.5 -
Ahhhhh, no better feeling than a fresh windows installation... Now to hate myself and reinstall Visual Studio and Android Studio...
*Sits in the corner and cries* -
The fuck-game:
First I write fuck once, then someone answers that saying fuck twice, followed by either me or someone else saying fuck three times in the same comment.
Person 1
Fuck
Person 2
Fuck fuck
Person 1
Fuck fuck fuck
Person 3
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
The game goes on until someone accidentally types "duck" instead of duck. At that point, the world cries.14 -
Lost 2 days with a non-highlighted error.
Vanilla JS:
Calling a function with a lower case character which shouldn't be lowercase.
I didn't never understood why neither VSCode nor Chrome showed the error.8 -
When you hear your mum and dad talking about traveling abroad and when i sneak to them, they say "we won't go, so go and study, my honey."
*cries*1 -
*Goes to Miami for the Spring Break*
*Spends most of the time finishing Computer Science homework on the beach*
*cries* -
I had to build a few packages today from a git source.
Everything just plain text or shell scripts - so no fancy shit, no buildsystem... Nothing.
I was painfully reminded why I had forgotten a lot about dpkg package builds.
Fun facts:
- seems like impossibro to define an output directory for debuild (../ from source which must be pwd/cwd)
- i used /opt/<vendor_name>... Purging the deb from system deletes opt too, as it is empty
- reprepro (or whateva it is called) fails with an "uncommon GPG error" instead of saying "I don't know which key to use"
- creating rolling release numbers (as the packages won't have a real versioning system...) is fun - when you remember that date isn't sufficient, as the time part is necessary to build multiple packages (versions) per day
Compared to an Gentoo ebuild, this was really rocket science....
Guess as soon as someone does not follow the debian way, he must be shunned and exiled. At least it felt like this ....
But it works now. Woohoo. *cries internally* -
throwback to when i fell for this one girl and she stopped being my friend after i told her i felt things with her and she ran back to her toxic ex that she cries about to me. we called almost everynight and she would just talk about her and cry and all i would do is comfort and listen to her. wish i could go back and never talk to her again.2
-
I remember on my first project which was Angular 1.* there was a file in the frontends repo called ShimOfShame.
The first few lines of that file was a comment apologising for its existence.
"My soul cries everytime i add a line to this file"5 -
Any one here have a degree in Electrical Engineering or Electronics Engineering? I'm thinking about going back to school, but I'm not sure it's worth the money since I live in the US. (cries in over-expensive education costs)
I do a lot infrastructure work and some super basic programming/scripting but I think I really want to get into hardware maybe zone in on either RF or take a stab at amps/effects pedals for guitar and bass.
as an aside, I'm not trying to go back to school for job or career related reasons, I just want to noodle with stuff and maybe create my own circuitry for stuff.15 -
OK.
I'm somehow beaten.
I took a look at Bamboo today because I will later inherit it.
And ... I just can't make sense of it.
I've tried googling, but I'm kinda lost because most stuff I find is half baked or not "complex" enough - as in missing things we do.
The whole UI just leaves me with WTFs.... Honestly, if anyone has good resources I'd be pretty thankful.
I tried today 4 - 5 hours to make sense of it...
But it all leaves me with the gut feeling that Bamboo is either for automatic deployment only ...
Or manual with a ton of duplicated stuff.
Both conclusions feel completely wrong to me ...
*cries*7 -
Implementing a for loop in js because I need to skip some elements in a map as I transform. I'm feeling dirty
* cries in functional *4 -
My laptops ram gave up one me on Monday, will take me 2 weeks at least to get back from warranty service !
I started smoking because of this...
FUCKING WHY ?6 -
The scrum master cries out for the team’s burndown chart as he move more unplanned work into the current Sprint.1
-
Lead dev asks me to take on the restful api aspect to a new internal tool UI I have been building. Happy for the challenge, I spend the 4 days (half of that in my own time), writing out 1k lines of C# that I endeavoured to keep clean, thoroughly decoupled and something I can be proud of.
I give regular updates.
This morning he responds to my last update “we already have most of that code in place”.
This stuff happens a lot. Back of a fagpacket planning and then cries all around when it INVARIABLY goes wrong.
Does this kind of bullshit happen in a properly organised, Agile team? We are about to take on a huge project and frankly I want to save myself the ballache and go find a well oiled team if what I am witnessing isnt just how things are in software land, but as I rather suspect a product of lack of communication and organisation.1 -
!developer_rant
Ok, so my pc is on it's way out (Cries in the corner) so i thought i would just bite the bullet and buy my new system, comes to around $1800 AUD without the GPU which i already have... So i decided I would use zipmoney as i prefer to pay by month (yes i know it costs a little bit each month) but... My application got declined for a $2000 account... So you are telling me i was able to apply for a bank loan last year for $4000 and get approved, get approved to rent a house... I have a perfect credit rating but apparently i dont qualify for a simple loan because i dont earn enough... I'm earning almost double what i was when I applied for a fucking bank loan!5 -
When you post a question on Stack Overflow and wait for some angel to enlighten you so your app can run without crashing every 2 minutes
**cries in a corner** -
I genuinely want tp know why few devs don't add the opening brace on the same line as method/class declaration ??
Whenever I find a piece of code which follow such style a part of me cries thinking of the time I'll be spending first correcting...14 -
OK. We've got this tiny little pet project of mine (work related)…
I rescued it from the git archive, simply put: someone hot glued an elasticsearch scroll + document processor (processing) together.
After a lot of refactoring, I had an simple, much improved (non-parallel) Akka Worker System without an Akka topology / hierarchy.
I left out the hierarchy at first, because I didn't know Akka at all.
I've worked with a lot of process workflows, and some systems that come very close to IPC, so I wasn't completely in the dark.
Topology requires knowledge / creation of a state machine / process workflow. And at that point of time I just had... Garbage. Partially working garbage.
I finished yesterday the rewrite into several actors... Compared to before, there are 8 actors vs 2... And round about 20 classes more. Mostly since I rewrote the Receive Methods of Akka as Command DTOs... And a lot of functions needed to be seperated into layers (which where non existent before)
Since that felt more natural than the previous chaos of passing strings or other primitive types around, or in the worst case just object....
(Yes: Previously an Actor was essentially a class with one or more functions "doEverything" and maybe a few additional functions which did everything - from Rest Client to Processing)).
Then I draw the actual state machine based on everything I've written in the last weeks and thought about how to create the actual topology and where / how parallelizing might make sense.
Innocent me stumbled in the Akka Docs on Akka Typed... (Didn't know it existed, since I'm very new to Java and Akka).
Hm, that sounds an a lot like what I did. In an different way, yes. But not so different that it might be VERY hard to port to.... And I need to change (for implementation of hierarchy) a few classes....
[I should have known at this stage that my curiosity would get the best of me, but yeah. Curiosity killed the cat.]
Actually the documentation is not bad. It's just that upon reading the first more complex examples, my brain decided to go into panic state.
The've essentially combined all classes in one class in all source code examples [which makes sense more sense later], where it is fscking hard for an chaotic brain like mine to extract information....
https://doc.akka.io/docs/akka/...
The thing is: It's not hard to understand… actually very simple.
It was just my brain throwing an fuck you tantrum.
So I've opened more examples in other tabs and cross referenced what happened there and why...
Few frustrated hours later I got that part.... And the part why it's called Akka Typed. It was pretty simple....
Open the gates of hell, bloody satan that was too easy for fucks sake.
Nooooow.... I just need to port my stuff to Akka Typed.
Cause. Challenge accepted, bitch - eh brain. You throw tantrum, you work overtime. -.-
I just cannot decide wether to go FP or OOP.
Now... I'm curious wether FP is that hard... Hadn't dealt with it at large before.
Can someone please stop me... I'm far too curious again. -.- *cries*6 -
Wtf, how did the volume and sound quality on all Coursera videos get fucked all of a sudden. When I tried a video, at first I couldn't hear anything. So I thought just the max volume is fucked on desktop. But the same on mobile too.
And other videos have weird robotic voices. Anyone else facing this?? Anyone from Coursera on devRant, playing an end of June prank or something, like wtf *cries*3 -
Ever feel like you're in a labyrinth, but instead of a Minotaur, you're being chased by DLL dependency hell?
I've lost more sleep trying to untangle this spaghetti than I care to admit.
Let's make dependencies a breeze, not a brain-twisting puzzle. Seriously, my debugger cries every time it steps into that abyss.3 -
I love docker, but when it's not working and you're having WSL permission issues on Windows, it is a pain in the ass!
I have no clue exactly why, but I tried debugging and circumventing the same problem for hours, if not days:
Docker keeps crashing due to "unexpected WSL error".
The only thing that seemed to help (sometimes, at least) was to Uninstall Docker, Reboot, Disable all Windows Feature flags that docker needs, rebooting again, enabling them flags again, rebooting, and then installing docker again.. aaaand voilá here it is again, while I almost lost all my nerves >:d
This only happens on my work-computer, which seems to not properly be connected to the ActiveDirectory Domain or something like that, which renders the whole computer basically useless and I can't do anything about it (for example, install a proper os called linux) since IT blocked BIOS access *silent cries of pain*
5 -
Any suggestions for a good enough laptop to learn Android/iOS development in?
I tried with my brother's fairly newer laptop and it was slooooooooooow. *cries inside while watching cursor goes from one point to another*5 -
Usually it's customer support.
We are a small team, so developers handle support, on a rotation basis though. But this is a hell lot of distraction because of the context switch. :(
Sometimes there are really disturbing tickets like how do I call this API using HTML? (*cries in spanish) -
So i have been coding in python and its my main language. Give me 2 reason why i should learn js(node).this question aroused coz i have to work with MS Bot framework and they just support c# & node js (python is still in prev) and their code has asynchronous programming in both *cries in corner also suggest me good resources to lesrn what async prog2
-
Working on a Django API where I have to send a request to a PHP file to upload a XML file. Here is what I wrote:
url = 'url.to.php.file'
files = {
name: ('filename', xml_file.xml)
}
response = requests.post(url, files=files)
I am getting Internal server error. Do not know what I did wrong. Am stuck on this for like 3 days and have tried EVERY alternative POSSIBLE. HELP ME
*cries in corner*2
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