Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.

How cute *_*

Cat: *walks onto keyboard*
Me: Aww how cute
Cat: $ git reset --hard HEAD

This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂

Me: *desperately trying to finish a webpage before 5pm deadline*
Girlfriend: Why are you always so focused on your computer? You never pay attention to me.
Me: You know I have to work. Besides, you'll always be number 1 in my heart
Girlfriend: Aww that was cute. Okay I'll let you finish working
Me to me: ...arrays start at 0. *continues typing*

Disclaimer: this was stolen from /r/programmerhumor and I have no girlfriend

On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.

Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:

"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."

Her: "It's a bracket."

Me: "Hahaha."

2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓

I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying​ to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
.
.
.
.
.
the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)

My laptop's purring, what could cause this problem?

Void ReleaseDopamine ()
{
ShowDoggyPicture("quot.png");
RandomJoke();
}

This dev world is still so damn fucking sexist, it's driving me nuts.

"it's so cool seing a GIRL doing this stuff"
"wow you're so tech savy for a GIRL"
"you're too CUTE to be a developer"
"how does it feel to be a GIRL in dev"

Just treat us like fucking human beings for once instead of pretty, empty objects.

So there is this girl who was trying to be cute and wrote a mock C code for me :

She wrote :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("what else??");

And without hesitating I told her that her code had a fault in it and it would always print "kill self" no matter what the level of disappointment is. And asked her to fix it.
The way she fixed it was probably best described as the situation when you have no idea what you are doing and you don't try to understand either. (or was simply passive aggressive) :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("kill self");

Honestly though I hope she was being passive aggressive because boy do I pity people who confuse between '=' and '=='

Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊

local tech support

So cute 😅

New neighbor came in yesterday, she cute, and apparently she also goes to the same college as me, though... when she came in last night to thank me she thought I was doing something illegal

Neighbor: "What are those?"
Me: "Lemme ex-"
Neighbor: "Are you doing [hacky hacky uwu]?"
Me: "First before you get the wrong-"
Neighbor: "I'm call-"
Me: "This is a fucking weather sattelite reciever ffs"

[Awkward silence]

Fast forward to today, landlady came in and immediately recognized my weather sattelite rig (I did it for a science fair before I graduated SHS), told neighbor she shouldn't worry because I have stuff like this everyday

God, if it wasn't for our landlady, I would have the police in my ass for neighbors getting the wrong idea...

Seriously nani the fuck

So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.

BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:

If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.

:)

Not the actual representation, but this is cute!

Oh my God! I just found cutest Linux 😍😍😍😍😍😍 little linux.

I was on a 1:1 with my boss talking about my performance, recent tickets, HR stuff, anything I need, plans for the next quarter, etc.

My 4yo ran up, pointed to my boss on the screen, and asked "who is mommy on a call with?" I told him it was my boss, T, and that he needed to be quiet. "I want talk to T!" He demanded. "Hi T!" He wouldn't take no for an answer. We were pressed for time, so. As cute as it was, it wasn't very welcome.

It took like five minutes to finally make him leave. Now whenever I'm on a call, he runs up and yells "Hi T!!!!" at the screen. 😅 even when its standup or the engineering meeting with like 50 people.... thankfully there is a mute button! His face still pops up on camera, but most people understand and just laugh.

He's cute but he can be soo embarrassing!

This is what happens when you lie about your sheep herding experience on your Resume/CV.

Found this hidden meowing duck on the Amazon's index html code

It's cute how MS is trying..

!rant

New job (first CS job).

Day 1: Install Ubuntu
Day 2: Dev said "it was so cute when he asked if he could uninstall windows." Also, first pair programming with engineer of 12 years. First commit (he did all the work, I just tried keeping up."
Day 3: "Here, try this bug " nearly get there. Have to leave early. Team event (Group VR experience, was wicked fun with drinks afterwards. Turns out boss man is a total bad ass. Swam with sharks and giant Wales)
Day 4: Fix bug. Notice odd behaviour. Fix that too. (All on my own). Code review: "This, that but works and is good." Get asked if I want to go to customer to do A, B and C. Tell Boss I only know B. He said "Tell me what you need for A and C."

I'm so God damn happy.

And for my birthday my girlfriend told me "your age++"
I don't know who told her that (she knows nothing about programming languages) but that was cute.

This tini tiny forky bomby is so cute than you probably want to execute it... at least in a VM / Container.

Short story time.

The last girl I dated was a proper geek. Like the kind of geek another geek wants. So one fine day she told me that she was making a greeting card for me. I was happy. After a few weeks she gave me the card and it was really cute. I loved it.

I reached home and received an email from her with a link in it. It was the link to a website she had made where each message from the card was deciphered to the real message.

DAAAAMNNN😱😱

That wasn't all. She didn't want the entire thing to be too easy. So the deciphered messages were password protected and I had to guess it.

Got matched with a cute girl on Tinder. She was a recruiter. She didn't want to talk about anything other than this "great" opportunity...

Someone: how do I convert cute girls to .gf format ?

Me : Sorry, this feature is not available in the beta version

So guess what my little sister got me for my birthday! She actually made an effort to make this cute gift. Maybe in the future I will buy the original one and then I'll have two :3

I bought 4 of them to introduce Dev rant to my three collegues (one is for myself of course). Hopefully we can welcome them soon here.

Rant::post

Cute girl: what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a programmer
Cute girl: Meaning?
Me: that I spend all my day seated in front of a computer doing computer programs
She: (waits 20s) hmm, so i forgot my Facebook pass...
Me: go to hell (leaves)

This one’s both cute & funny

Lead dev walks in:

"Remember what I said about doing dumb shit solutions in languages that no one understands?"

Me: "Yes.....why?"

Him: "That reporting script you did for <x department> needs some modifications and you decided for whatever fucking obscure reason to do it in perl"

Me: "I felt......experimental"

Him: "Well yes, that is cool and all but it needs some modifications as per <X director> and only your dumbass knows perl because you are just too fucking cute aren't ya?"

Me: "You think I am cute??? <insert spongebob blushing meme>"

Him: "I fucking hate it when you write shit in perl"

In my defense, it was a really short fucking script

For clarification: This was a friendly convo even though it doesn't sound like it. He is actually my employee, and a rather close friend, so there is that level of trust and comraderie

Linux is cute!

This was during my 3rd semester when I was outside my dorm room finishing my Java assignment. Suddenly this kitty jumped from nowhere and sat near my laptop seeing those buggy Java codes. Then I started to pet him as he sat on my keypad. After this incident, he came outside my dorm room every other night waiting for me to pet him. He was one good friend that I got during that semester. I really miss him now.

My lead developer left on vacation for a week. Without notice to my boss and/or myself.

Well to be fair we did have the minimum which is a 2 day notice....

So what did we do? Well the boss and I acted like absolute adults and did what any other adult would do.

Me sticky noted the fuck out of his desk and screens.

4 screens full of sticky notes.

Phone is full of sticky notes too. And geez man....everything is sticky notes....so...many....sitcky...notes

I plan to integrate it in the very next crack xD

Say hello to Enna the Devcat. She’s napping on the job right now.

Cutest virus ever!

Created an alias in BASH

alias fucking=sudo

Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.

Cute Proposal

Discovered this app and the cute avatars. Found out you need at least 10 points to create one, so here I go! Just finished my third year in computer science, now exploiting the positive discrimination for girls to get summer programming jobs ;).

This is my cute desktop with i3wm and my little project. c:

Was browsing job sites and noticed an 'experienced sysadmin' job (Linux).

Everything seemed pretty interesting and then I saw this line (at what they offer):

Free own domain with hosting!

That's genuinely cute offering that to an experienced Linux sysadmin. Not saying every sysadmin has this but I for example have like 10 domain names and a bunch of servers.

Yeah that looked cute 😆

Irma is coming. And just a few weeks after we move to South Beach full time. Figures.

Anyway, if the storms sweeps us away, remember that I love you all.

Well... most of you.

Ok, like a handful of you.

Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....

They are here! And they are so cute! :3

aww, cute little function, I will teach you a few more little features!

2/2
Multithreading has a new perspective now.
Also, fast is cute.
Part 2 of the awesome change log. 😂

Got me a new virtual stress ball & a cute birdie, thank you all for the ++!

My duck came in, along with his two capes, the stickers I forgot to ask for, and the note I requested.

In the special instructions box, I asked that they include a note that said something random, and they delivered.

"devRant ducks do dances directly downstairs daily"

Well done @dfox @trogus or whoever does the shipments, I'm thoroughly entertained :D

When she asks you to help her via TeamViewer but refuses to share her TeamViewer password cause you'll then be able to "hack" her.

My mom just showed me this on her facebook news feed and said, " Look <insert nickname>, it's the same "e" browser you've asked me not to use !!"

By far the best co-worker. She's doesn't bitch and complain or make excuses.
And let's be honest, she's cute as fuck.

FInally, a community where there aren't fucking pictures of cute cats

Last month I discovered my girlfriend created a GitHub account some time ago just because she saw the icon was like a cat in the Discord Connections settings and was curious about what it was.
That's the most adorable dev-related thing that has ever happened to me.

Boss sends e-mail telling everyone we have funding for 1+ year.

Two weeks later 50% of employees laid off.

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

I'm hereby quitting as a dev and decide to become a maid in a maid cafe cos I just witnessed someone break my code with their hacky fix

seriously, fuck him. Now excuse me, I gotta don a maid uniform and chant cute noises

theNox.age++

I wanted to screenshot some of the birthday wishes that were printed for me on the discord server early this morning but they're spread too much, thanks anyway! That was very cute of you all. Only people from devRant actually bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday this early (maybe I influenced it a little bit ... 😂) But it's true
Everyone remember that ThatDude's Birthday is on January 28th 😉

Tfw everyone uses a cute duck or little animal as a debugging buddy, and then there's me...
I like this one tho. :)

"You use a Mac. How cute. You must not know anything about computers, Apple fanboy. Windows is far superior."

"Unix, bitch. Fuck you."

#atleastuselinuxffs

I fucking hate this cute little hack my company thinks it's found where if they schedule a meeting at lunchtime in the lunchroom they think it counts as a lunch break

Sooo cute :)

> be me
> create profile in dating app because pandemic rules make meeting people at irl events impossible
> match with cute girl
> start to talk about interesting stuff
> mention being a software developer
> her: 'pls help me I have a not activated windows 10 on my laptop and can't do stuff since the last update'
> fml

My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time

#¤%@ kid!!! My 5yo son has obviously been playing with his mom's mobile phone. At first, I thought it was a little cute, when I received incoherent texts about Roblox, one of his favourite games.

But then, I suddenly heard from my sister who was really upset and worried. She was wondering if my gf really wants to see her dead, after receiving a facebook pm in English, saying "oh die :-)".

No need for auntie to take it personally though; turned out she was not the only one getting the same message :-O

A little boy is facing a mobile ban for a very long time...

GUYS GOOGLE's CI MASCOT IS TOO ADORABLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA GJDJGHLFHJDLKJS

People: I will never put one of those smart speakers in my home! You're basically just putting in a microphone that will spy on you!

Also People: Hang on I have to grab my phone/high-fidelity microphone/high resolution camera/GPS tracker/Data Aggregator and make sure I have it with me literally everywhere I go, because who knows when I will want to comment on a cute picture of a cat!?

Once I watched a 30min YouTube video on functional programming just because the presenter was cute. 😘
Anyone ever did this ???

And btw the video is Functional programming by Anjana vakil.

I want to print this pic out in enormous size and qty, hang them in many classrooms to show my female friends that it's normal to wear cute skirt and cute shoes while wringing cables on your shoulders.

😏

All octocats !
These are extra cute.
Love how they turned Lady Ada Lovelace into an adorable af octocat.

Had a great day yesterday. Productive, happy, felt great, and was focused despite a lot of cute distractions. Finished a third of my feature.

Today, I wanted to start work early because I had planned out what I wanted to work on next and how to approach it. I felt motivated. I’d jump out of bed, get ready, and start early. No breakfast but maybe some coffee.

Woke up to two hours of constant distractions, irritations, and time wasting instead. Anger. Everything sought to prevent me from starting.

When I finally got to work, the first thing I saw: political warmongering bullshit.

Guess I’m not getting much done today.

My third paper got accepted, doing localization with this cute baby in the picture. Had a lot of fun collaborating with a good friend of mine from ETH.
My advisor declines every request I have, and then ignores me most of the time. No wonder the motivation in the lab is lower than the Dead Sea.
I have no words to describe how much I hate every second of my existence, but simultaneously I refuse to change my toxic circumstances so I have only myself to blame. Cheers.

Cute Girl: So you're like a computer guy, right?

Me in 2012: Yeah, I do some programming and...

Cute Girl: Ok *walks away*

Me in 2012: ........wait, come back! Don't go! I'll fix your printer for you! Or hack your friend's fb. Or make this cool app that you maybe have an idea for..? Don't leeeeeav...ah nvm, she's gone.

The developer's date
-----------------------------------
Me working as a developer, after a date with a cute girl
Bestie: Bro, how was the date?
Me: We cant be in a relationship.
Bestie: Why man? She is cute, she likes you and she has got a decent job.
Me: Yeah the third one is the problem. She is a SOFTWARE TESTER!!!😫

My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.

Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.

Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.

Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen

my neighbor helping me in debugging

I was sitting in the University when a cute girl we know asked us If we have a Chewing Gum with mint flavour. We hadn't, but a friend of mine replied with 'I've got Linux Mint! In case you wanna try... "

Advanced silence or about 3 minutes after that...

How to post a question on a forum:

1. Create an account with a cute girl name like AnnaLovesYou143

2. Post your question. Ex. "How do I use Google? Thanks xOxO <3"

3. Wait for guys to give you a complete answer for your question or an offer to help you via a private message.

Forget talking to a duck, I talk to this cute little fox I got from one of our work weeks at Mozilla <3

Some of the dinosaurs maintaining legacy systems are rather well meaning, but somewhat frustratingly don't seem to have updated their knowledge of what counts as "a lot of storage space" beyond the early 90's. Just asked one of them if they could dump all the legacy logs to AWS each day so we could keep them for 6 months or so (they're rolled over weekly otherwise.)

"Well I mean we can, but are you sure? *All* the logs? You could end up storing close to 100MB of logs a month! Won't that be prohibitively expensive?!"

It's rather cute really.

Damn! Why is it so hard to concentrate when you’re pair programming with a cute 👧

!rant

Soon I'll get you, cute little dog. But it's still a long way writing stories of me screaming and complaining about everyone and everything.

Winter is on its way, so Devvy has wrapped up warm. (His face was redrawn since he got rather faded)

My debugging friend!
I AM GROOT!

I'm a diehard Apple fangirl, watch every keynote and have only ever had Macs (my parents are also diehard)

But I seriously envy the Android robot dude. He's so damn cute. Apple gotta get a better mascot I can keep on my desk.

The girl I'm talking to right now (not officially dating), I met because I knew web dev. I've mentioned the story before a couple times, so I'll just give a TL;DR

She has a graphic design class with my friend. The class was doing basic web development and had no idea what they were doing. I decided to go in there to help out some. Started talking to her, now everything's fun.

Here's a picture of us from Friday (you can only see my face tho, not hers). We were just being cute, as ya do.

Men of DevRant, do you think it's OK to try and pick up women on LinkedIn?

A guy, who claimed to see me on Bumble, message me on LinkedIn about "wanting to get to know me". My rarely used Bumble profile doesn't have my family name, nor my real job title or my workplace. Which means the dude also had to indulge in some high-level stalking to get to my LinkedIn profile.

I've seen some cute guys on LinkedIn, that if we had a pleasant interaction in a conference for example, I would totally ask them out. But it never crossed my mind to even try and chat them up on a professional platform.

Am I too conservative or is this just inappropriate?

Finally... did it 🤗🤗
I feel so happy 😘😘😍😍
Thanks again @dfox @trogus, and everyone for such a great platform 🤗🤗

Nostalgic times! Ain't it cute? Super NES was the best gaming console from the nineties...start the flame!

I today have seen lovers'name carved into a tree. I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date

CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.

“Slams fists on keyboard”

I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏🫦

“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”

I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️

*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*

Application level developer: It's so simple just import that dependency and use that API.

Low level developer : That's cute.

Showing you my dog because why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

it finally happened, PM/PO/SM is now also dev シ

each standup he now also gives update about his work in progress, with his diligently designed subtasks, perfectly sticking to the daily script, like a good well-behaved employee boi. it's weirdly cute

devs can't await to review his first PR. feeling the strong urge to spank his ass for each minor coding style issue or poorly-named variable...

All the devs look cute now with that bird in their shoulder :P

I couldn't care less for aggressive 20 year old devs opinions.

Everytime I see a post where someone is being an asshole making strong comments about software, I'm like "oh, how cute, he's trying to be taken seriously by insulting others".

Then I check history and it's just a flow of hateful comments and memes...

(I do mind respectful and humble 20 year olds though)

Dear companies of the world.

If you offer customer support over Intercom, and the officer is a cute boy, I am gonna flirt like hell.

Keep this in mind.

Or maybe you do... maybe the photos are thirst traps designed to make us more forgiving... 🤔

!rant && !!rant

☝️ What does that give you?

Today will be the last day we gonna work at this fucking hellhole of an office. Since I had so many shits to remember from this office, let me share my favorite.

1) Ground floor. Got flooded last July. Half our equipments got soaked. Oh equipments as in computers, cables, reports documents, etc etc.

2) I am gonna miss those connection down days.

3) I will also miss those black out days where we couldn't work for hours so had to play teamwork games to keep the morale of the team and you know to stay awake.

4) I will also miss that fucking mouse or rat. You are small and cute but fuck you for chewing my potato chips and peanuts. A-hole.

5) No windows so with no air-conditioning, it is a literal hell hole.

Gotta stop. I might cry.

Yet another Hacktoberfe....
Uhhh well

Stickers!

From DigitalOcean

Received by completing a survey

Got this cute girl from UKNaoHackathon. She is my new rubber duck

Hi, guys. My first rant here. Can anyone please tell me where I can get the devDuck? It looks so cute.

Exception handling: when you really like a cute girl and are about to ask her out. Still you kinda also chit chat with her slighly less cute friend in case something goes wrong.

this week started like shit, but today it seems like everything fell into place. the interns are working, the bs code i had to change works, i did more than i expected, plus i just cut my hair and it is cute as heck

Was working on something with Public Lab on github and I saw this <3

Today I was being social, apparently not a success.

In the train on the way to work I had a talk with a cute girl. Ten minutes in the conversation she started putting on makeup, to which I replied that she looked great without makeup as well.

Then she was offended and put on music...

Apparently you cant give compliments

Oh and this cute ball of floof

Honestly, i hate math or actually i hate that i suck at it. I graduated CS and if u put a math problem any bit more advanced than basic linear equations i will turn red. I wish i was good at it. I think if i was, id be able to do much more cool shit because combining math and the ability to control a computer basically makes you a demi god.

If i had some free time i’d love to go over the basics on khan academy or something. But free time doesnt come by a lot coz we’re too busy trying to make money and id rather just rest and chill when it does.

Tho if a cute girl offered to tutor me in that free time i’d definitely say yes 🧐

Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?

To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜

This is adorable

The packages name is oneko, you can even set colours or speed, or make it an... Anime girl?
Whatever suits you best, I guess

Almost forgot, it's an actual animated cat that's running after the mouse

"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
10
seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.

Man I fucking hate WordPress.

So there is this really cute guy in my class and he recently started to learn coding. Since I am 'the computer guy' in school, of course he got to me and asked for help. I introduced him to C# and for the next two weeks helped him learn and understand the language. It was so neat and he was so cute, doing all the mistakes I did too (1+1=11, that kind of stuff)

Now he informed me today that he switched to Java. Of all the languages, Java!! Guess I'll need to search for a new Padawan, fml

Lol. Went out on a date with my fiance; updoots at 950something.
Just came back to 1003. Thank you Cyanide for 33 updoots, glad you like my rants^~^
Now i can get my cat 😁

When I say I hate cats an I'm replied with 'but they are so cute' and I find this pearl at home...

I fucking HATE cats!

When the cute new developer next to you might like you, but you find out she doesn't like using Git.

I had this weird dream(emphasis on dream)

I was in a resort in bali waiting for my drinks and this cute girl comes over to my table.

Me : omg finally i can get a girlfriend
Me : hello beautiful
Her : hey i have this problem with my website *shows the messed up site with no divisions/containers * "can you fix this?"
Me : okay ;_;

PS : i started learning css, html and 2 other web technologies a week ago, and this is already happening to me, should i quit?

Don't have scaling issues yet? I have the book for you...

Not here to disturb y'all , but am a little sad because our cute little boy honey has wandered somewhere and hasn't come back for last 2 days. :'(

I don't know what to do, we searched the whole area nearby and there are no signs of him. We have also alerted a few neighbors who aren't bad to animals.

But i guess it's his time to go out. We always had many cats , and we live on the topmost floor, so cats usually wander over to different terraces and come back after a few hours. But there is always a day, when they go away, nd never comes back.usually the female cats return, with stomach full of babies, but the boys are full Roadies, king of some random place

Its just my heart says he hasn't gone forever. He is a super dumb, and not very much of a bold boy. I think he fell somewhere in an empty home,and couldn't find his way back. ;_;

The feeling when everything works so smooth, but one little bug appears and you're like:

*covers the error log*

I don't see you, you little misery of mine... ^^

It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Today I told my crush that I love her. She said no, but in the nicest way possible. She's so cute 😍

Spent most of the day adding cute stuff to 404 and 5xx error pages..

Now to test user feedback 😉

Now this is cute.

It's cute how most companies think that someone will take the time to personally hack them. Like nah mate there's countless bots running around the internet like a rabid pack of dogs sniffing ip addresses and running exploit, one of the stragglers will pick you off...

20.000 holdings generated. Each unique in their own cute little way. Just finished the marketplace so users can trade the resources they produced, pagination is not working yet. Still no cofounder or anyone who would join the project. Still nothing to offer. :) But I'm keep going. There's a long way but I will not give up mr world! F* you.

Idk if I'm happier about the usability of the app or the image notifications with the not-yet-crashed background activity or the super cute anime wallpapers but the thing works and looks pretty xD what else could you want from a minor side project :')

Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.

Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"

Compared to some developers our problems are acute. Compared to some developers our problems are very cute.

Not as cute as the good boy but exactly the same ....

* Not my meme 😂

>Be me
>Notice cute girl in college
>Won't work because reptilian brain too stupid
>Girl needs help studying C
>Teach her C because I'm an idiot
>She turns out to be a bigger idiot, and has problems grasping FizzBuzz problems
>Thoroughly turned off
>Help her get 80% in semester end exam
>Breathe a sigh of relief, get back to usual schedule
>Girl admits to liking me
>Said that girl and I are not on similar wavelengths
>Girl asks me if I think she's stupid, and now is angry with me
>What did I do?

Me writing the description for my PR:
"Felt cute, might refactor later idk tho 💅"

apparently, you can get seizures by looking at windows 10 apps.

i hear penguins are cute though

Trying to explain an awesome block of code logic you came up with and how it streamlined everything.. And your partner be like.... Thats cute dear

Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.

That's cute

Suprise visit by my mother at my flat. Cute, but please announce it advance so that I can clean my mess 😆

soooo… Thing is, I'm really dying to try out that avatar editor since y'all have such cute alter-egos here. Can't wait hehe <3

Cute or not

It's cute when PMs talk technical and end up expressing an entirely different meaning.

I love javascript, but sometimes it's just an incredibly stupid language, such as when undefined variables get interpreted as string literal "undefined" when concatenating strings. I like it better how, for example, PHP handles undefined values, that nulls just turn into "". Better still: typed languages, where most stupid mistakes are caught already at compilation, instead of having to spend hours to track down where that mysterious "undefined" comes from. As I said, I love javascript - because it is easy to code, flexible and forgiving in many ways. But I hate it for the exact same reason, for being such a sloppy fluffy...thing, and a bugger to debug. If javascript would be an animal, it would be a cute and cuddly cat that you instantly find adorable, but it's actually quite fat and lazy, plus its fur is littered with ticks and other bugs.

Dear God ....SCALABILITY

These were back in highschool and I was around 13 or 14, and no one taught me any html and have to figure it out myself by reading scarce references:

*When I started to try configuring my Friendster profiles with CSS ;
*when I successfully made cute sites for me and my friends in Geocities with personalized free domain names;
*Oh, i made little pages on local for my favorite bands;
*and, when I experienced computing shit at DOS level

Those are little things that drove me into learning indepth programming.

So today is a very lazy day for me.
My code doesn't work. Don't feel like bug fixing.
Just feeling sleepy BUT THE COFFEE IS BLAND!!
Sooooo. Here I am, typing away.
Writing these cute commented lines.
I'll thank myself later.

I hate all these projects with cute cartoons, phrases and prompts, when you're debugging under pressure they're so fucking infuriating. Right now I want to destroy that dumb GitHub issues bot with a baseball bat.

Fuck it, I think I'm going full Kotlin.
Looks SO cute.
Any advice?
I'll use VSCode btw. Only VScode.

I have a flatmate who has a different way of specifying how a girl looks . He calls a thin girl 'thin' and someone obese as 'healthy'.
' That thin girl is cute'
' Did you see Sharon, she's so healthy'

Rubber duck you say, that's cute.

Because deep down, we're all made of cute

Why won't you just approve my PR???

Whats wrong with you?!

I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.

What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!

Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!

The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!

/endrant

its been there since many years, but:

When did we turned the wrong way and made it acceptable that Windows can blantly say in my face that i cannot deactivate the transmission of data unless i have the "Business" Variant of their Software. Its called Windows 10 PROFESSIONAL. Why are there no international Laws against that? Where was the molotov throwing mob when this became the norm?

Additonally. that cute telemetry service consumes a considerable amount of cpu and disk power from time to time.

and no, Linux is not an alternative. It never was. There is proprietary software and driver sets used for lab equipment and machines that cannot run under linux, noone will ever have the time to tool something for it and the user base is too specific to hope for any community solution.

sidenote: even Level 0 STILL transmits data. I want mode -1

:3 I'm soooo happy right now! My friend asked me to help her get started in designing circuits and making her own PCBs. Great motivation for me to write a few articles on it 😊... Honestly I would have just asked her to marry me right on the spot if she wasn't a lesbian and didn't have a girlfriend already.

...maan, it bugs me a lot: super cute, same interests, really really intelligent and knowledgeable, great character... Why must everyone care about gender? :( (I don't - just for the context...)

So it looks like my 80+ yr old grandma finally managed to get hang of her touch screen smartphone. She was recently set up with WhatsApp.

She has called me quite a few times today and when i ask what's up, she says she is just testing it out. It's so cute *-* and makes me happy to know she has learned to use it and called me.

I wonder how it must feel for her to be able to use this technology which was probably never even imagined during her young age.

IMAO, a new programming language/technology is like a new cute girl at your school/workplace. We give it a lot of attention and tend to ignore older programming languages/technologies

This platform went to shit, sinking in a never ending sea of hate of our own making. This is why I’ll be posting cute cats everyday from now on.

Hello everyone.

What do you do when you have no moral neither motivation?
Woke up this morning, feel bad as fuck, spent 15min hugging my cat but still feel bad.

Any cute animals would be much appreciated :)

It's Don't-Kill-Your-Coworkers Monday! Vent here while looking at this cute-ass picture instead of ending lives.

Not falling for a cute girl... and pop-ups

My friend: I think you two would really get along, once she heard you were a programmer, she really wanted to meet you.

Me: Sweet, OK, so you said she's pretty much in the same field as me, what does she do?

Friend: Oh she's in IT

Me: Nope.

Friend: What, why?

Me: Cute but , in terms you'll understand, you just don't try to arrange a member of the football team with the waterboy.

What the heck COVID!

All the days have been blending together for the past 6 mo! What day of the week is this? Who am I? What's the meaning of life? Have I ever left the house?

Not going outside, getting alienated from my friends, getting somewhat anxious for no good reason...

Its so weird! This eery, suffocating stillness.

Alas! I hope the day comes soon that I may frolic in the multitudes of people!

Why the fuck do some developers think it's cool or cute to name their software after genitalia?

Some of these tossers really need to grow up.

Old but gold 😎

I love a number of the little slack "all clean" icons when you catch up on threads. They're adorable. My personal favorite is the floptopus.

Anyone else have fave examples of adorable, ideally platform mascot-related pieces of task-accomplishment-reward-bait (octocat, go gopher, etc etc?

It's a rant bc fuck anyone who's too cool for cute shit :p

That moment when you don't want to quit your job because of your cute crushes 😍 in your company and this motivates you to do even better every single day.

once my boss said: if it's lagging just clean the god dam garbage collector 😎
p.s. he's cute

Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.

Late I know. But I just thought of it.

Worst documentation I've dealt with? It's cute that you think the other devs document jack shit.

Late night kaggle session, and I'm enjoying how cute and clean this dataset is!

I'm jealous if data scientists always get to work with such neat sets! Dude! I got .95 acc without any effort! This is so... Weird. 🤔

This is cute. Thank you @dfox and @trogus

"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"

Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.

I'm curious...
I ended up in a job in which I'm the sole developer (state education databases). Good, well paying job. No complaints there, but I haven't been part of a Dev team since my college days almost 15 years ago. I keep up my skills in personal projects.

I use git, like most developers these days, to track my code and move it between my desktop and laptop. However, while I have a GitHub account, I tend to be very"shy" with my code. I usually won't start putting the repository online until the application I'm working on has its intended cute functionality at least... Functional.

That said, I've read articles that suggest developers should almost start their project repositories online right from the start.

My question is... Are there any others like me, holding back their code until it's functional, or do most of you code completely in public (for open source projects, anyway)?

Felt cute might delete later idk

Anyone else slightly annoyed by the recent uptick of "look at me cute and I'm a programmer" accounts on Instagram? NO YOU WRITE JAVASCRIPT AND RUN WHATS BASICALLY A LIFESTYLE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. SIT DOWN.

I want to stop for a while, leave the city and go live somewhere quiet. Grow my own food and raise some cute chickies. Then I'll probably miss coding, but definitely not the corporate hellholes I worked and still work for. This is obviously not a goal for this year but my wish for before I turn 40.

Just had to leave this here (may take a while to load)

I don't care how cute you manage to make a robot / AI, if it has a deep voice i'm drop kicking that shit into the sun, fuck that creepy ass motherfucker...

Has anyone else worked in business environments and found... em.. "wannabe-tech decisions?"

For example, naming stuff with shortened words and underscores instead of spaces.... for no real reason? Or maybe using the word "database" a little too often, just to use the word? (similar to the way you might call someone by name, only to confirm to them that you have learned their name?)

It doesn't actually bother me, rather, I think it's a bit cute that these people are interested in our culture and want to be a part of it, even if it's in sort of silly ways like this.

Need to rant / maybe some advice.

Working remote is hard.
New company, remote on boarding. I feel like my coworkers are robots, and I'm being tossed into the deep end with minimal guidance.

The codebase is so unnecessarily complicated, its impossible to read. I've been trying to figure out how things work for a whole month, still not sure.

My mentor that is supposed to help onboard me is a robot, and answers questions in a somewhat acceptable manner, but it still feels like a lot of "figuring out" is still left for myself.

My other work partner that is also a newbie like myself is also a robot - doesn't talk or ask many questions whenever we have a sync up meeting.

The codebase is huge and feels quite overwhelming, I don't feel like I got a team "with my back", I don't enjoy work as much as I have before, I barely do any coding (mostly reading code and trying to understand how everything is working by setting breakpoints and debugging tests that take foreeeever to run), and some days I'm seriously considering cutting my losses and jumping ship just to save my sanity.

Am I paranoid? Am I just dumb? Should I just suck it up and be happy I have a job? Is this how Remote work is supposed to feel like? Why does it feel like my soul is dying?

Anyone in similar situations, or who can give some insight/advice/etc, I would highly appreciate it.

And this is supposed to be a good company too from the reviews. I don't know how it can be so crappy in reality. Did I make the wrong choice joining? Should I jump ship sooner rather than later? I've only been here about a month or so, and maybe its too soon? Halp!

Cute how a small bug takes most of your time.

Still using + to concatenate strings in JavaScript in 2022?

That's cute.

Girl I haven't talked to in a long while starts messaging me about learning code