Me these days

Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

Boss: I need to demo our product but it looks smaller on my laptop.
Me: That is because you have a 1920x1080 monitor and your laptop is 1280x800
Boss: Is that something you can fix?
Me: No you will need a new laptop, but the company has a sales laptop with that resolution.
Boss: No just get the company credit card and buy me one today!
*Bosses son hears*
Bosses Son: Here take the sales laptop
Boss: Will that be quick enough
Bosses Son: It has a 8 core i7 Processor, 16GB ram and a dedicated GPU
Boss: *looks at me confused*
Me: Your demoing a web browser, that will be more then ok. But were using chrome so 16GB of ram will be pushing it.
*me and bosses son laughs*
Boss: Can we upgrade it?

We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.

All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉

One of those days

Password requirements these days :|

captcha these days... 😂

Remember those days?

I had just started my new job and deleted 3 years of data that the client had spent over £450,000 collecting 😱

another developer used my PC to quickly access the clients database while I was out the room as I had sql management studio open. I went back to my PC thinking I was connected to my local database, did a few truncate tables to test my software and :0 minutes later I get a call asking why there was no data on the server!

Thank god for backups 😓

Good 'ol days.

Kids these days... 😂

lol #fakenumber

Kids these days 🤐

Manager: Hey, how are things with everything thats been going on? Hows the mood?

Me:

At middle school they kept on banning the flash game sites so I made one my self but it was called something like mathhomework.somefreehost.com, the landing page looked like a homework site and all the flash games were called something like problem_1.swf. I use to sell logins to class mates at like £2.50.

20's Kids these days....

15yrs ago I used to quarantine viruses 😪

Now a viruse is quarantining me 😒

Indentation check
Hardecoded values check
Kickass logic check

This is the best program that I have seen in my entire life.

Some morons these days..

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Lock computer when AFK!!!

Language these days

Debugging these days.

A quite normal Windows day:

Bios to Windows: "Go now! Get up!"

Windows to Bios: "Always slow with the young circuit boards."

"I've got something weird on screen."

Windows' answer: "Ignore it first."

Hardware assistant to Windows: "The user puts pressure. He wants me to identify this thing. Could be an ISDN card."

Windows: "Well, well."

Unknown ISDN card to all: "Will you please let me in?"

Network card to intruder: "You can't spread out here!"

Windows: "Quiet in the case! Or I'll cut both their support!"

Device Manager: "Offer compromise. The network card is allowed on Mondays, the ISDN card is on Tuesday."

Graphics card to Windows: "My driver retired yesterday. I'm crashing now."

Windows to graphics card: "When will you be back?"

Graphics card: "Well, not at first."

CD-Rom drive to Windows: "uh, I would have a new driver here..."

Windows: "What's ich´n supposed to do with it?!"

Installation software to Windows: "Leave it, I'll mach´ that already."

Windows: "That's nice to hear."

USB connection to interrupt management: "Alarm! Just been penetrated by a scanner cable. Request response."

Interrupt management: "Where are you coming from?"

USB connection: "I was in the computer right from the start. I'm joined by another colleague."

"You're not on my list." - "Say something."

Windows: "Hopefully there won't be another printer."

Graphics card: "The new driver twitches."

Windows: "We'll just have to get the old one out of retirement."

Uninstall program to new driver: "Go away."

Unwanted driver: "Fuck you."

Windows to Norton Utilities: "Kill him and his brood!"

Utilities to driver rests: "Sorry, we have to delete you."

Important system file: "Arrrrrrgghh!"

Windows on blue screen: "Gib´, the Norton Boys are over the top again."

Blue screen to user: "So, that's it for this week."

Excuse me for stealing your time

And I know it's way too long

"Learn C++ in 21 Days".... Seriously????
P.S Sorry if repost.

Stack overflow

Back in these days

F***ing windows, spent ages repairing a database table only for windows to bloody BSOD at 97% complete 😡

Gets email from work

"New password policy introduced from next month

Passwords will have to include:
- a capital
- a lower case
- a number
- a symbol
- be at least 8 characters

Passwords will be be changed every 60 days with a new password not previously used"

Everyone starts moaning, there I am laughing as I'm in Linux and off their domain controller, and my windows laptop is a BYOD laptop and they don't want it on the domain :D

A late rise up *check*
A good cup of tea *check*
A nice breakfast *check*
A rainy day today *check*
A bunch of time for reading
a book and playing with
python and elixir *check
Nobody seeks me for
tech support *check*

Did I die and go to heaven?

Hackathons these days :/

Hardcore developers these days,

There are good days.

There are bad days.

And there are hacking something together in a legacy html4 jsp tomcat5 webpage with frame inserts days.

Today is the third one.

My boss trying to fool me on my vacation days. Trying to force me to use them for days I were sick. Bitch. NO!

Mr robot Season scheduled on 05-10-2017
Hell yeah!

How would you get your "Cash prize" if you reported anonymously ...

Pay or days off?

After 5 years of neglect I have finaly found some time to work on an old project of mine.

Not a bad view to work from either

"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"

God virgin media are useless:

Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”

😡🤬😡

LOL good marketing

One asshat quit, one more to go and we'll be quite a good team.

So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.

Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.

Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)

Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button

Finally got myself setup in my new office today, before there was three of us cramped into a tiny 3mx4m office, now only two of us in a much larger office.

Much needed these days 😔

5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on...

Just got the first pull request to my open source project :D

It was about 10 at night I thought I was the only one at work. I had my favourite music playlist on, there I was singing and dancing to the music with my headphones on.

With me sitting in a position not seeing the door, my boss and a client walked in and was in hysterics laughing at me 😂

Microsoft estimates now available in macOS

A mate couldn't remember a IP address so asked me to make him a domain to make it easier for him. His new domain is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.somewebsite.com (xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is the IP)

Puns for days

So after being in this role for 4 years we have finally got to the point where there are 0 outstanding bugs/issues with our software.

Some days you get git, other days git gets you.

does anyone else have days where they just can't be bothered to make anything, and days where they get a massive amount done?

Oh, good old days ...

Upgrade on Friday 😬

My neighbor(He is 14 I think) pitched this to me and wanted advice since he was going try to participate in the Google science fair.

Him:"A robot that gives you medical advice. You just tell it your symptoms and voila! You've got your diagnosis. No doctor required."

Me: "How are you going to decide what disease the user has?"

Him:" I'm just going to write an if-else ladder statement. I've already got some of the data from this site called WebMD. It's amazing."

Me: "Go with something simple. What you're suggesting won't work out."

He told me I didn't have "Vision".
His ditched his project last week.

For about 6 months when I started coding php I didn't think indentation was worth it so all of my files were like
}
}
}
}
}

9 days.
9 fucking days without internet.
9 fucked up days with access to a national intranet with the only accessible things being websites with privacy-respect policy of facebook, with all your unencrypted data streaming under dictator hands.

Windows: You have low power (5% = like 5 mins)
Me: Goes to shit down
Windows: You can only shut down if you update
Me: I'm not risking that *holds power button down and smothers it to death*

In school days,

I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML

Found a bunch of these in my dad's old drawers. It's a mini floppy disk of 2 MB (i guess).

I will be waiting, Bank. I will be waiting.

Me fixing bugs on our legacy system

So... um... I'm a real asshole... but this website where I'm applying for a job doesn't check how many digits should be entered for their GPA field.

At first, I wanted to see if I could put in the pi symbol (π). That didn't work.

So, then I added 10 digits of π into the field. When I saw that it had accepted that many numbers, I grew curious and wondered how many numbers can I fit in here.

I added 100, then 1000, then a million.

Sooooo, do you guise think I'll get the job?

Some days am broke 😣
Some days am rich 🤑
Some days am nice ☺
Some days I can be a d*#k 😠
Some days am strong 💪
Some days I quit 😞
But I get up and move on 🚶🏾
Coz am a PROGRAMMER 👨🏾‍💻

Love reading through old code and seeing things like this

var hasFailed = (errors.length > 0)?true:false;

Makes you wonder what their thought process was when writing it :D

my boss asked me a few days ago to get a website responsive, i did that in like twenny minutes and today he came to me, looked at the website and give me a pat on the schoulder "good work"
some days are good days

Our IT department is almost as bad as apple

Hiring manager these days 😠

Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok

Greetings from the Linux-Days in Chemnitz.

Sales: We NEED to view the minutely data but showing 10 years of data at a time
Me: you do realise that would be like 2 days of data per pixel even on one of largest monitor resolutions
Sales: your a clever guy I'm sure you can work something out
Me: well I can consolidate the data so you ...
Sales: No we need to see the temperature for every minute

Kids these days

I just found this in some code I'm now supporting

for (var i = 0; i<1; i++) {
...
}

Was asked to pop down to my bosses office for 5 minutes, turns out I was interviewing someone. Not one word of warning was given to me prior the phone call asking me to come down.

Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}

This used to be a stress toy...

Tattoos these days.. 😂

I just installed some anti-virus, little did i know it was also going to install their 'System "Speed up" software'

Was using 50% of my Disk Usage 40% of my ram and 100% of one of my CPUs ... great job at speeding up my system

Who else finds themselves typing esc + :wq in there IDE after using vim for a while.

I just found this bit of code in our product :P

setInterval(function () {
$("body").find("div, td").replaceText("oldProductName", "newProductName" );
}, 50);

That moment you realize it really is a hardware problem...

Three days thinking of a solution to a problem in HackerRank...

Came up with a very elegant O(n+m) solution... failing several test cases...

Check here, there, over there. Everything seems flawless...

Re-read the problem statement letter by letter. There it is, I misread the requirement. FML

So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.

I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"

*i look at the graph*

"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"

Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.

I was fresh out of college, love Java and looking for a job.

Well, after exact 1 month I sucked the reality. I found an Ad for a designer and got selected. Point is I mention my qualification in high school because I was feeling bad to disclose my higher degree for such a job.

I worked for 6 months there and every day was like working as the covert operative. I always knew I can write an automated script for all that daily shit. But for the sake of the landlord rent, I kept quiet. (I literally care for his children, I was the only source of income)

Then, my friend that day 16-Sep-2012 I wrote a program to do all the repetitive thing I used to do.
My boss found out and I expose my self as Spiderman do to Jen, Sir! I am a Programmer.

Sadly it was, no surprise to him. He said, on your first day I found out that you are not high school. Because with such accuracy only a graduate can do such level of the job.

He praised me and motivated me, my first non-technical master.

I leave my laptop for 30 minutes and it decides to update 😤

Checking database table with 100m+ transactions ... no indexes or primary key :/

When you wake up to this!!
The first conference I'll ever be attending!

Excited!

Just why????
long d = date(toDate) - date(fromDate); // days

Please just name the variable days............

Lazy days.

"But...it works locally", said the tired dev who hasn't had his morning coffee yet. It's going to be one of those days.

Started work on redeveloping a module for our system, I look at the database document and see two fields, one for date and one for time. Both are full date time and the data is stored like so:
Date I want to store: 2016-04-09 05:54:00
Date: 2016-04-09 00:00:00
Time: 1899-01-01 05:54:00

var date = new Date();
var month = date.getMonth();
console.log(month); // 2

who thought it would be a good idea to start the months of at 0 rather then 1

Who did you guys inherit your programming skills from?

Neither of my parents are skilled with computers, and my dad can barely turn them on. My grandfather was an IBM programmer, but he died before I was ever interested in computers. While he didn't have time to physically get me interested in them, I think that's how it got into my blood.

Got my stress-ball + stickers today :D

Now where to put the stickers 🤔

Estimations:

2 days = One day of actual coding, one day of doing something completely unrelated.
3 days = One week
5 days = Two weeks
7 days = Forget about it...

3 BSOD in a hour at a customer site ... Linux will be installed tomorrow

> uptime

279 days

Damn.

Those days..

So someone wants me to sign a NDA so they can use my open source software (MIT licence) in there software.

They also NEED to minify there php to save on storage and to boost performance. 😂

Corporations these days...

Really not sure if showing devRant to my colleague was a good idea or not :|

Days of Our PHP, episode 2

Pushing changes to production via SFTP. Luckily I don't work at that company anymore.

When you look at some production code that has been released for 4 years and find a HUGE security, like catastrophic here is my server hack me flaw 😁

Leaders now a days...

Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.

Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"

I remember the days when the work internet was faster than your home internet.

Tesco’s scan as you shop runs using Windows apparently

So we decided to use Monday evenings as a development night for our game, we are currently down the pub enjoying the sun. Maybe next Monday

I've spent all day creating bugs 🐜 😩🤔🤦🏽‍♂️

So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.

Sent my cv through a local job finder website, 2 days later got an interview, 2 days later got a technical interview, 2 days later I was already sitting on my new desk

Kids say the darnest things 😂
"My npm is friendly"

Rainy morning days are the best days to code 😍

Want to annoy a co-worker, replace a semi colon with a Greek question mark (U+037E) 😈

@ cineworld tonight and I see this, what if your between 15 and 17?

Errr, i was not expecting this when i went on SO

one of those days

By the time I’m able to put my baby girl to sleep, I get hungry again.....

I just remembered, I haven’t had pizza in a long time now...

My father showed me MS Paint when I was five years old or so, and I still remember I thought it was incredibly awesome.

So we're looking for a new developer, my boss sends me an email with a subject "Intresting CV". It was for a office clerk who altered a Wordpress website for the company they use to work for

old days internet

Old days

Just one of those days...

The longest vacation I took in my last job was only for three days. I didn't touch a computer for those three days.

one of those days

Just remembered one day from university
So, I've not been on any programming lectures and labs
Decided to go for one at least
Terrible hangover, late for half of a hour
Grab list of tasks
Fuck, 15 tasks. All very easy, but a lot
Half of a hour later teacher started to check works
- Oh, please, come back to me later, I need another 5 tasks to be done
- What? Did you read header? You were supposed to do two tasks of your choice
- ...

Look, i'm trying to do this 365 days of code and guess what? I forgot to push my local changes to the remote branch. I'm on my 43rd day streak and fuck it I have to start again.

My boss had a 50 page word document where he add any bugs he has found (he likes to test before it goes to QA) we then have to read that document for any changes (hi-lighted in blue) then add them to our bug tracking system. Any updates that are made on the ticket we have to add to the word document.

We tried letting him use our bug tracking tool but he hated using it as the padding on the navigation links was too big. We would have to redesign the 3rd party tool just for him

I'm going to try a 'zero-day' strategy for learning c++ (at first I was also a little confused about the term zero-day).

The name zero-day does make sense in that there are zero days of me not doing x

So, for this strategy, I have to program something (doesn't matter how small) in c++ every day for a month. After that I'll do the same for python

Then I can make an educated decision of what programming language I like the most

I want to thank @teganburns for his c++ video about c++, that's the reason why I chose to try c++ first

Is February ever going to happen or is it just going to be January all year?

"Some days I amaze myself.
Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it".

😑

Anyone actually took part in the psp community back in the days?

We ran fucking everything on these things.😁

Epic is;
That feeling when u want to compile ur 'C' on Linux distributions for the first time while u are used to windows , and u are sick trying to find out the IDE or turboC++ like thingy and suddenly u find out U CAN COMPILE DIRECTLY FROM THE TERMINAL!!!
{Collage days ;-P }

Work want me to use wordpress :(

Bargain!

@dfox i have a devRant Idea.
Achievements - Kind of like Xbox achievements etc ...
For example: (Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum)

Total Likes: 2k, 5k, 10k, 25k
Likes On a post: 100, 250, 500, 1000
Likes on a comment: 10, 25, 50, 100
Total Rants: 15, 50, 100, 500
Total Comments: 50, 150, 400, 1000
Weekly Rant: Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 1
Monthly Rant (most popular rants that month): Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 1

Man wk89 awesome... bringing back a lot of memories. The one thing really stands out to me though is the software.

I see a lot of rants about people shocked that turboC is still in use or other DOS programs are still in production. A lot can of bad be said here but I think often it's a case of we truly don't build things like we did in the good old days.

What those devs accomplished with such limited resources is phenomenal and the fact that we still haven't managed to replicate the feel and usability of it says a lot, not to mention just how fucking stable most of it was.

My favourite games are all DOS based, my most favourite of all time Sherlock is 103kb in size. When I started coding games I made a clone of it and to this day I am still trying to figure out what sorcery is in the algorithm that generates/solves puzzles that makes it so fast and memory efficient. I must have tried 100+ ways and can't even come close. NB! If you know you can hint but don't tell me. Solving this is a matter of personal pride.

Where those games really stand out is when you get into the graphics processing - the solutions they came up with to render sprites, maps and trick your eyes into seeing detail with only 4-16 colours is nothing short of genius. Also take a second to consider that taking a screen shot of the game is larger than the entire game itself and let that sink in...

I think the dramatic increase in storage, processing power and ram over the last decade is making us shit developers - all of us. Just take one look at chrome, skype or anything else mainline really and it's easy to see we no longer give a rats ass about memory anywhere except our monthly AWS/GCE bill.

We don't have to be creative or even mindful about anything but the most significant memory leaks in order to get our software to run now days. We also don't have constraints to distribute it, fast deliver-ability is rewarded over quality software. It's only expected to stay in production 3-4 years anyway.

Those guys were the true "rockstars" and "ninja" developers and if you can't acknowledge that you can take ya React app and shovit.

Development time : 1 month
Architecture: 5 days
Writing code: 5 days
Testing: 5 days
Deciding variable/service/entity names: 15 days

Went to buy a CPU from CeX ... maybe not!

Urghhhhh why does it feel like Monday? Where's my coffee? Where's my computer? What time is my meeting? Urghhhhh

*sigh* woke up did a data export for the customer, send it to them then they reply "thanks but it's next weekend we wanted the data export not this one" checked the email and they were correct.

long gone those days...

Nice bike ride in the country after stressful day 😜

Need to look at socket.io documentation and their site is down :(

Having to pay a "Setup fee" for your hosting that you have had for the last 3 years ... what do they need to setup 🙄

Today my "hacker" friend told me that ubuntu\linux is least used OS in the world !! :')

So I'm called down to the office the other day for a meeting, I get there and my boss says "hi this is John Doe he has applied for the developer role, can you give him the technical interview" had no time to prep, my boss didn't even give me a copy of his CV

Went for a job interview and they used spaces rather then tabs!!! Walked straight out of there!

(^ Sarcasm it really doesn't bother me as it's just a setting on my ide)

Went on Vacations to Dominican republic !

It's a paradise !

Going back to Canada in 2 days... Oh WAIT ! Positive covid PCR test, welp, 14 days to stay in a hotel room :( And ofc need to take vacations days for that

and hotel only offer 7 days, other 7 will need to pay :( But at least I have a nice view

What to do when you're 8 hours away from home at work and all you want to do is netflix and snuggle in bed 😞

Had a bad day at work :( They gave me this code for some obscure streaming job and asked me to complete it. Only after 3 days did I realize that the LLD given to me was incorrect as the data model was updated. Another 2 more days, I was able to debug the code and run it successfully— I was able to parse the tables and generate the required frame but not able to stream it back to the output topic as per the LLD. That’s where I needed help but none of my emails/messages were replied to. The main guy who is pretty technical scheduled a code review session with me— I expected that I would run the code and he would spot it something I might’ve missed and why my streaming function isn’t working. Instead, what happened was that he grilled me on each and every line of the code (which had some obscure tables queried) and then got super mad at me saying “Why are we having this code review session if your code is not complete?”. I’m like bruh, you asked for it, and yes, the main parsing logic is done and I’m just having this issue in the last part. And he’s like “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”. Wtf?! I left at least 5 emails and a dozen messages. He’s like this has to go live on Monday, and I’m like Ok, I’ll work in the weekend. And he’s like “Don’t tell me all these things! You’re not doing me a favor by working on weekends! How am I to ask my colleagues to connect with you separately on Saturday/Sunday? You should have done the on the weekdays itself. What were you doing this whole week?”. Bruh, I was running the code multiple times and debugging it using print statements. All while you were ignoring my attempts to reach out to you. SMH 🤦‍♂️ I can go on and on about this whole saga.

23 days without a computer

When a password hint tool throws an error saying your password is too weak, you then remove a symbol and it now works 👌

Everyone leaving early on Wednesday and you realize that it's not weekend but just No overtime working day.
#welcome #to #japan
Weekend still 2 days away.

Testers now days 🤐

So Friday evening decided to "Update and Shut Down" my window 10 laptop.

I come in Monday morning and turn it on ... "Working on updates" So far its been 15 mins and its 27%.

Oh and my other laptop at home decided to restart itself and apply updates and stayed at "Applying Update 100%" for 35 minutes, luckily i was able to watch Glastonbury via my Xbox as my GF would not of been happy missing Ed Shearan :P

How hard would it be for MS to say "Look this update is going to take 45 minutes, do you want to wait"

Old Days

It's not a hyphen ‒ it's a dash.

me right now:

while (me.onHoliday) {
wisdomTooth.x--;
wisdomTooth.y++;
me.ingest(new Painkillers());
}

My first proper holiday in several years, swear my body won't let itself rest!

stackoverflow these days

It varies... 25 mins... 35 mins on some days. On good days, 40+. :P

Just found this great JQuery selector in a bit of code a freelancer wrote:

var showErrorFor = $('[name="newPass"]').attr('name')

Those days...

Finished 100gb with 10Mbps in 9 days..
.
Fuck
Now 1Mbps for rest 21 days.😰😧😖

Why do I do this, it's 05:45 and I'm just about to leave for site it's a 3 hour drive if traffic is kind. By the time I get home it will be 20:30 hours at least. Grr long days

We make a small server product with a web based admin system, as we were going to have limited customers who will use this (usually just the engineers) and this was not on the www. We dropped all support for all browsers other then chrome/firefox. No more IE/safari bugs for us XD

Exam days
be like ...

Ran out of mobile data, go to top it up and it's £3.00 for 100MB or £9 for 1GB ... I'll just wait 3 days with no internet

Student temp is 2/3 done his term, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't learned anything.

When I was a student temp, I built a video chat platform.

When asked for an estimate, "I'll take N days."

N-1 days later, when asked for a status update, "We encountered a few issues. It'll take N more days."

Those pikachu days were ♥️✨

Re-Factoring old code and i find this beauty

$('.modal [name="port"]').attr('name')

A programme I have to maintain (and not allowed to optimise or change):

1) read input from serial connection
2) store data in MySQL database
3) every day convert to CSV
4) store on Windows file share
5) process CSV in access 2000
6) store in MsSQL database

When it was first developed, I said to te developer to store it straight from serial to MsSQL but out boss wanted it to follow the above spec.

He has now left and I have to maintain it

My boss develops with access 2000 and uses variable width arial font. 🤢

I was at a car boot sale (mix between a flea market and yard sale for the Americans out there) the stall next to me was selling a PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse for £10. So all day I was trying to sell my old toys (I was 9 at the time) but only made £5.

At the end of the day I went to the stall and asked if he would take £5 for it, he then game me it for free as he saw me trying to sell my toys all day.

Some days I feel hungry all the time. Like today. Other days I don’t feel hungry at all even if I’ve eaten nothing.

exec("mysqldump -u root -pxxxx ".$_GET["table"]);

First experience with a PC....

It would have been the Commodore64 and those giant 5.25" floppies, ah those were the days with CRT TV's.

Watching a friend load up Tetris on that big screen was eye opening for a 8-9 Year old.

I always enjoy it but I don't know if anything has compared to the feeling of accomplishment I got with my first hello world!

Xamarin on windows visual studio
2 days to install
2 days to build the basic project on both Android and ios

So I can't get 2G where I live, like 1 mile away from a telephone mast yet I'm in the middle of the Wales country side and I have 4G

This is a warning 😡
A tale first...
I being the kind soul I am offered my help to another web company .. their site was built poorly and took 20 seconds to load I told them the fixes they needed in the hopes they would give me the work to do it that was the agreement after all 😡

Instead they stole my ideas and did them themselves now they have a good website 😡 fully working

Let me be clear if you fuck me over like this. I. Will. End. You.

I hate scum like this ... I'm calling him tomorrow I will give him the benefit of the doubt, if he says something like 🙄 well tough.

There won't be a website the next day... 😡

😈

When your forced to change your "Development Process" on a weekly basis because everyone has a better idea

Adobe finally released a version of Flash that doesn't suffer from zero-day exploits.

Working on a very large project that has been going on for 6 months and will run for 18 more.

The day before our bimonthly meeting with the client the PM decides to walk out and quit without telling anyone. Now we're left to try and figure out what he was doing, as most of it was poorly documented it's gona be a pain.

Project Manager Math:

(3 task with 2 days deadline)
+
(3 task with 2 days deadline)
=
(6 task with 2 days deadline)

Kids these days. Dayum