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manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre
dev: ok, this is it, remember your training
class Dog extends Animal {}13 -
1: Get a dog
2: Name dog Sudo
3: Teach Sudo to fetch my mail
4: Invite Linux-friend over
5: Yell "sudo fetchmail"
6: ?
7: Profit20 -
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Fuck.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
Great Sunday.18 -
Mute your fucking microphones if you have nothing to say. Nobody wants to hear you breathing, your dog, a police car or whatever.16
-
The bloke that I share my office with is asleep on the job. Ffs, can I get any support around here?
This working remotely from home thing, just isn’t panning out
14 -
$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery
$ touch /woman
touch: cannot touch `woman': Permission denied
$ look into "my eyes"
can’t open my eyes
$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate -
Me and my girlfriend are taking care of our friend’s dog for a few days. The dog’s name is Debi, i immediately started calling her Debian 😃
13 -
If you disrupt my working flow and you're not
1) On fire.
2) About to explode.
3) You're dog is dead(dogs are the shit)
4) Snoop dog is in the building
Then you're a cunt.19 -
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Boring. Overused.
"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow"
- New
- Metal as fuck
- Works just as well19 -
Just saved a life. I was just walking with the dog (it's 3am here) and there was a bleeding drunk on the street - completely unconscious. Must have fallen on his head. Got the police. The paramedics told me a few minutes ago that the guy had a skull fracture. A few hours later it would probably have been too late for him.5
-
Named my dog sudo, so that i can call or command him with authority. Sudo sit! Sudo eat! Sudo roll over! Isn’t it cool?14
-
Goodbye to programmers best friend. He was the best dog, the best listener, a great pair programmer, and someone to keep my lap warm while I work. And more than all of that, even though he was a dog...he was my friend. Goodnight buddy. I hope I see you on the other side.
11 -
New rant = Rant.type(['non-dev', 'public transportation']).init()
So i am taking the bus now to see a friend, and this fucking whale woman comes on board with a baby caddy, except, it wasn't for a baby, but for a fucking dog the size of a brick. That already in itself makes me grumble because dogs have fucking legs and there is no fucking real need to carry them around like newborns.... Anyways this woman sits and takes up a lot of space for the 'handicapped' persons for her fucking baby dog... So far no real issue there since people with disabilities hardly get on this bus line. A fzw bus stops later an equally whale black woman gets on the bus, obviously struggling with her size and her caddy filled with groceries...
There is enough room to accomodate the baby caddy and her groceries.
That fucking white whale says to her 'there is no room there, move someplace else'... The black woman stands there in disbelief, and this is the first time i look up, giving the 'the fuck you just say bitch' look to the white whale. I mention there is enough room and the black whale sits carefully next to the dog caddy.
Now the bus takes a sharp turn, the dog caddy tips over due to the g-forces it causes...and inmediately this white whale shouts to the black whale 'fucking retard, don't tip my dog over!' this while the black woman apologises for the fall of the caddy not even being her fault...
This angered me so puch that i rantzd to this woman: 'madam, thzre is such a thing called physics, the bus made a sharp turn and your stupud useless space-wasting dog caddy tipped over bzcause of that. Don't just go accusing people for your own degenerate racist lifestyle. I suggest you hold on to it and apologise to the lady'
She then murmles incomprehensibly and gives a butthurt look, rhe black woman thanks me and tries to remain very quiet on her seat, eventually she gets off
This fucking thing makes me angry to a level i wanna toeturz that whale by peeling off her skin with garden fence metal wiri g, suck the fat out of her body and brain with an industrial vacuum cleaner and put her in the fucking oven baking in her own fat, of course without any anesthetics...
Damnit all to hell!
Also, why on earth do dogs need caddy's? They got perfectly fine legs!
I know, sadist inside11 -
For the love of dog, if I select English on your online store, it doesnt mean I live in the UK, therefore show me prices in £ pounds, It just means I cannot speak German but I need to read English, but pay in € Euros!!! Can people please stop confusing Language with Location!!!!6
-
I really love my job these cold, rainy autumn days with yellow trees, where I can work from home having a nice fire going in the fireplace and the dog sleeping on my feet :-)
9 -
This is why my bro is my bro.
I'm in shit with money and rent, so my mate gave me £10 for food and offered me a desktop (I had to sell my laptop) so I can make a bit more money doing software development.
Humanity may be an overall pile of steaming dog cum, but there are some great people in the world2 -
I love @Letmecode.
My favorite lines from him
"As useful as Anne Frank's drum kit"
"Between shooting heroine and selling his body for it"
"7 ways to suck your dog off without waking it up."
Gold! Elegance!8 -
So the devDucks arrived today and the dog is more excited than I am. He's been staring at the box the whole time.
12 -
I just nailed an online interview for a job that I’ve been trying to get for ages
However, during the interview my dog just would not stop barking. I told the interviewer that I needed just a second to take care of it, and I got up to put my dog in another room.
Although I had a nice dress shirt on to appear professional, I didn’t think it was necessary to put on dress pants since only my upper half would be on screen, I instead opted for a pair of comfortable green athletic shorts and moccasins. I did not realize until after the interview was over that I had accidentally made a fool of myself by showing my entire outfit while walking to my bedroom door. I bet he will have a good laugh with his colleagues about that one.9 -
Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....7 -
Here is the equivalent of every single mid sized "php" project listed on freelancer now:
I'd like a custom designed electric car.
Budget: $750.
And in 1999:
I need a literal pile of dog poop.
Budget: $10,0004 -
EVERY FUCKING DAY ANOTHER RETARD ON MY DOORKNOB WHO HAS TO TELL ME ABOUT HIS GREAT IDEA.
I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT VOICE ENABLED MUSIC PLAYER APPS. SO THAT YOU CAN CHANGE SONGS WHILE TAKING A SHOWER
NO ONE WANTS A GPS TRACKER APP FOR THEIR FUCKING DOG AND HOW DO YOU EVEN REMOTLY THINK THAT YOUR FUCKING DOG HAS BUILD IN GPS ANYWAY
AND NO WE WILL NOT MAKE BILLIONS AND TAKE YOUR 10% SHARE UP YOUR ANUS. YOUR IDEA IS AS WORTHLESS AS YOUR EDUCATION WAS OBVIOUSLY.13 -
Me : "Hey the proxies aren't working anymore"
Them : "The what ?"
Me : "The what-you-call 'webs references'"
Them : Ooooh right
Yeah let's just call a cat a dog1 -
I'm a freelance iOS developer / UI designer and working on a pet related startup. I deal with lot of pets. My parents thinks that I'm full-time dog care taker.7
-
Have you seen that movie Up? The one with the dog that's easily distracted? Yea I'm that dog.
I'll work for about 15-20 or until I fix something the way iike it, and then I end up getting distracted for another 5-10 minutes.2 -
As a programmer, I either feel like I’m a god and I’m superior to everyone in this company OR I am an idiot and everyone knows what they are doing except me.
Programming is an illusion. It’s just a “feeling”. Programming doesn’t exist.11 -
Folks, introducing my first pet in devrant...
His name is Charlie.
Charlie, say hi to all dev ranters....
10 -
I dont know if this has already been mentioned but I love how the tiny dog costs a little more ++ that all the others 😁
7 -
!Rant
Yassss 🙌🏼 I'm dying. Your dog 🐶😂🤣
"Get your devRant custom cartoon avatar on stickers! We can now print glossy sticky-back 1.75" (4.5cm) circles of your personalized avatar to place on your laptop, your refrigerator, your dog, wherever!"
@dfox genius
1 -
I'm pissed off 😠!
Why you might ask, well....
So I woke up, went to my pc to see if destiny 2 had finished downloading!
1. My dog shit right next to my pc
2. Destiny 2 wasn't downloaded (after 13 hours)12 -
Just got myself one of these! Hope it holds up to its predecessor's reputation.
Now only if I could find that annoying dog...
2 -
... I'm so done... Our dog died last night, in the arms of my father... And the worst is, my little brother has seen everything and even tried a CPR on him... It's destroying me. Why is life so cruel? R. I. P. Buddy, we'll miss you 😢5
-
!rant
Soon I'll get you, cute little dog. But it's still a long way writing stories of me screaming and complaining about everyone and everything.
9 -
That feeling when you are in a hospital away from your family and you get a call that your neighbour's huge dog tore apart your lil doggy right in front of your wife and 2yo kiddo....
WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!
If you have dangerous dogs -- USE FUCKING MUZZLES!!! FFS!!!
Thanks God that monster was satisfied by just killing a doggy and didn't touch my fam29 -
My wife and I just put an offer on a house, 7 try and this offer was accepted. We're trying to get our financial approval together, she's a nervous wreck and keeps asking me if that's any news because I'm dealing with the bank. So I set this up.
She called me after a couple hours to tell me the dog house had called to confirm my reservation.
3 -
Definitly !rant; btw long post ahead
Soooo not so long ago i joined this community by chance just cuz i installed some app randomly found on google store and what can i say. Best decision ever!
I can say i never met such an interesting and diverse communitiy ever and i kin of ground fond of it (i usually dont get too attached to peoples).
After a while i felt the urge to get myself involved into some disscusion at some random post and i did it. But it felt empty as my image was just a plain green bubble of anonymity. But yeh, i am cool with it, i will customize it after some ++es. No problem!
I got incremented for a while and i got to make a simple generic avatar. I felt again a urge, but this time to customize even more. Sadly, anything cool needs approval by the people. Soo i kind of let it go as i am not really the kind to find myself talking in other businesses and i moved over.
Until i saw it! Not the tiger, not the bird but the dog! Annnd i wanted it so i made a joke that i am a wizard with an invisible dog. What can go wrong, right? Well the thing is.. it did not go wrong, as expected, but it went great, kinda unexpected.
How? Well, some random stranger felt me and gave me a hunble chance to get closer to my dreamy real dog. And so it begin, my crusade to get that damn dog!
But what i have realised fast is .. this is not facebook! Nor Instagram! People doesnot upvote attention whoreing or such lowly acts, but they are actually prone to support people who just.. get involved.
And so i did. I got involved. I actually got involved in a community! For a awkwardly introvert person that's something, but maybe more than few of you people can relate to this.
And today i finally reached that goal! I have a real doggo! Well, real as in not invisible, not as in a great responsability, but now i have both. But this was not such a big deal. The big deal is that i found people whos interests are alike to mine and are prone to help, support and befriend others. I must say, thanks to all! Wonderful time, and while i am not here for a long time, i will surely be!
Cheers and dev on!
15 -
I think I just figured out the function the matrix used for my gf's dog.
Public Action GetOrder(string humantalk)
{
If (Order.parse(humantalk)
.VoiceLevel > Int.MaxValue)
{
while (true)
{
this.bark();
}
}
return dogsAction.Parse('eat hand');
}5 -
Me - I am sorry my dog eats my homework
Comp sci professor - your dog eat your coding assignment?
Me - ...
Professor - ...
Me - it took him couple bytes10 -
My boss codes shitty ugly fucking abominations.
These fucking piles of hacky crap are worth less than a penny puked out by a dog, eaten by another one and then shit out, grabbed by a vagrant, stuffed in his arse and then sold as raw metal by the cremation worker after the former's death.
Fuck this. I'm not gonna rewrite this. Fuck you.4 -
I'm beyond pissed as of now. hostgator, FUCK YOU.
YOUR GODDAMN PORTAL IS DOWN. PORTAL.HOSTGATOR.COM IS DOWN.
PLEASE HOSTGATOR, STOP BEING A BIGGER BITCH THAN MY LARGE FEMALE DOG.
end of rant, a hosting company should really be able to keep THEIR OWN FUCKING WEBSITE UP.5 -
> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers
*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*
> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner
My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿8 -
A kid in our neighbourhood hit my dog a few months ago.
Today, he asked for some technical help.
I solved his problem.
Asked him to install Windows 9 and then come to me for further guidance since it was a pre-requisite for the software he needs.
It has been exactly 18 days since I have last seen him.2 -
My father was very supportive. Every time I was studying he'd take the dog for a walk, do the dishes and whatnot so I could study quietly and uninterrupted.
The rest of my family was supportive as well but not on that level. They always told me how awesome it is and do what I love. -
I'm currently taking another dive into haskell. I didn't know you needed a masters degree in theoretical something to print text on stdout.
Note to myself: make dog-emoji-based language huskyell2 -
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"1
-
!rant
> Joins voice chat with friends
> They're talking about virtual data quantities.
> One of them mentions petabyte.
> Everybody except me proceeds by making jokes about how "petabyte" sounds like dog food and other miscellaneous things.2 -
So for my programming class, we had to make a game using Scratch. No problem, I said. Scratch is easy stuff. Just drag and drop blocks. Like legos. Legos that actually do shit. Cool.
So my game is about a dog underneath a plinko set, dodging balls that come down the plinko thing. Easy enough. I figured I would spice things up a bit. My teacher has to go through 20 of these games, I figured I'd make mine interesting. I add a little heart system.
Now for those of you who don't know Scratch, or don't care enough to look it up, all of Scratch's codes are within the sprite themselves. They can communicate with other sprites with a thing called broadcasting. When other sprites receive a broadcast, it can activate a script. yeah, cool.
So I had a script on the dog, that broadcasts a message to the heart system to remove a heart when the dog is hit. So to keep things short, I call the broadcast "Dog's hit."
For anyone who knows programming, computers have no clue what an apostrophe or a space is. They can't read it unless you have it all letters, maybe a semicolon. So, I removed the space and apostrophe, with my innocent 17 year-old mind not realizing this makes it "Dogshit."
Game's finished. Finally. Due date comes in, I submit it all proud and everything. I just created the best dog-plinko simulator of all time. Later that day, I show it to my friend, who then points out the typo.
At this point, my teacher already graded it. I went down to see him after school, and he must've known why I went down as soon as I walked in the door, and just cracked up. He told me it was fine, and not to do it again.
I left red.
4 -
>today, we - junior .Net programmers - have a teambuilding event
>after it we will go to the bar (with our boss)
>the bar is pet friendly
>I need to walk my dog
>he is young, probably west siberian laika mix plus a resque dog, therefore every evening I spend 3 hours working with him
>my boss implies I should not bring him to the pet friendly bar.
>my boss wants me to walk my dog only for an half an hour max and return to the bar without it.
>I guess I won't be even going to the bar, couse my dog is more important to me
>ffs12 -
As a developer, I'm sometimes accused of pulling strings out my arse.
As a dog owner, I've literally just had to pull a string out of my dog's arse.
I really wish she'd stop eating fabric.2 -
Walking through car park, it's raining.
Down a slope to the next level.
Started to slide, this is bad... I'm not a dainty dancer I'm a 250lb meatbag.
Slid at least 9 feet, bailed to my knees and hands like a dog (cause it's down slope I couldn't not go to all 4s)
Knees and shins wet, glad there's no cameras... I'll just carry on like nothing happened.3 -
Manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre
Dev: ok, this is it, remember your training
namespace Vetcentre{
class Dog : Animal {
}
}1 -
No line for the bathroom. Listening to music without headphones. Getting up and pacing around like a crazy person when I'm thinking. Cursing loudly. Not wearing pants. Petting my dog frequently.
WFH is the best5 -
On way to work.
Almost stepped over a dead cat! 😷
I hate this fucking country.
*Walking past a stray dog staring at me atm*7 -
How Real programmers code :
Pfff real programmers use a puppy and have it chase a frisbee where the frisbee hits a flower disrupting a bees honey sucking so it goes home to beat it's wife which again the wife bee gets pissed off and stings my dumb client who mashes some buttons on a keyboard by mistake whilst using my software which fucks up my program and I have to tell him that my program is fine and if he didn't try walking in the garden holding his laptop because of his poor WiFi connection then all of this wouldn't've happened.1 -
!rant
I don't have a rubberduck so I'm using this origami dog that I made and glued it to my wall for "origami-dog-debugging"? I'm calling him Padfoot.
6 -
Had to put down my dog today. I've felt real shitty before but this is my closest experience of loss I've had.
I miss her so much you guys. I'm sorry for bringing it down. You guys all feel like a real community so help me feel my feels and not just push it down.12 -
I was freaking out today when a program I have to demo in two days suddenly stopped working correctly. Turned out not that bad when I found my dog added some characters to the server address in the config file when I laid my computer on the bed last night.2
-
Finally I got a dog 😄😄. Probably I will teach him some coding 😜.its 6:17 am..... I didn't woke up morning I just forgot to sleep 😪😶😑
-
People ranting about xcode, how about stop using Mac and apple products there all dog shit. Or just use another IDE or editor problem solved.8
-
Dog barks. Then the other dog barks. Then the lady who owns the dog starts yelling at the dogs. She's yelling and they are barking - and they get louder and louder. What was the goal again? Oh yeah... this is just how agencies work. Go with it. The goals don't matter.2
-
!(!(!(!rant)))
When you're using a sophisticated software and you've shown your work to your non-dev friends and they say "Wow! What APP did u use?"
Furk it! App sounds like a small icon on your mobile phone to take a selfie putting a dog filter to post for everyone to see! You call this tool just an "APP"? May Zeus forgive this blasphemy.
destroy(rant);11 -
Uugghhhh... Last time I worked with PayPal I swore I'd never touch it ever again. And here I am...6
-
I need bikeRant, so i can rant about bike lanes consisting of dog poop, broken glass and old grandma's
7 -
Difficult tasks, dog is sick, S.O. suffering from depression, sleep deprived, and now I accidentally type "rm -r / ./" instead of "rm -r ./" on the production server. Whyyyyy12
-
I'd like to personally thank everyone who ++s my rants. Every time I get one I get so excited because it brings me one step closer to getting a floor doggo!3
-
No one tests in production like I do..
Just gave the wife a Brazilian wax for the first time.
I guess I could have tried on the dog first but ... No.3 -
You asked for it--here it is.
It was a regular day in November--I was taking my dog out for a walk. We were walking past an elementary school when my dog started barking at a rock. I went to have a closer look at the rock when suddenly it vanished into thin air. "How strange" I quietly thought to myself, called out to my dog and carried on walking.
The next day at around the same time, at the very same place--next to the elementary school, my dog started barking at a log which lied in the exact same spot as the rock had occupied the day before. I did the same as I had done a day earlier--walked up to the log to check it out, but it vanished into thin air. We kept on walking.
The third day I decided we'd pick another route. This day, nothing interesting happened.
The fourth day went the same as the third.
The fifth day, went the same as the fourth.
On the sixth day, God was almost done with his works, for that reason we celebrated by going to the movies--me and my dog. To be fair, the only interesting thing that happened on that day was the movie, which was shit.
On the eight day when I got out of my bed I fell, broke my neck and died. And that's when I ate my code to make it shorter.5 -
I wish I could tell my dog not to get up from his comfortable position or sleep each time when I simply want to goto the bathroom or stretch.
Like bro no need I’ll be right back..7 -
awww shit dog, I got the job! Now they wanna know which OS I want installed on my company computer. Wondering if maybe I'm still secretly being interviewed....7
-
Java is a lot like a 3 legged dog. You know it'll get where it's going eventually but it's kinda sad to watch.
-
Being 46 and finally having the chance to focus on software development after years of BA/PM roles, flogging the market trying to get a junior gig, then one day painting a shed with my 16 year old who I introduced to programming about 6 months ago and listen to him speak at length on protocol programming, finer variances between python and swift and his own development of a text based RPG system where he is creating randomized map generation, gear customization etc. only to realize as paint glides down my arm:
" I'M FREEKIN' OLD!!!!"
When did my brain stop absorbing like a sponge and behave more like a brick?1 -
Note to self:
Fifty shades of gray is not about CSS or any other subject you care about. Delete mental association so as not to react like Pavlov's dog every time you hear/see title mentioned in mass media.
Squirrel!
3 -
My worst legacy code experience was when I worked as a freelancer and got a tiny job to improve a VBA module in some Excel file for a very big company. So what's worse than VBA? Having to change parts of VBA code that was passed around to other freelancers before like the cheapest dockside whore. After meddling in there for about half an hour I felt like all those cheap ass punter, so I decided to write the whole thing from scratch. What a relief, after 3 hours I was very proud of the thing and it looked clean and well maintained again so I let it back on the streets. 😉
To the coder who comes after me: Please treat her (the code) nice or I will burry you alive in dog poop and burn the whole thing!1 -
Found this while getting dog food at the feed store. Turns out https://reddit.com/r/CrappyDesign/... found it earlier this year. Because I didn’t see the GNU notice, aren’t they breaking it?
1 -
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.3 -
Traveled 3 hours away to go into the office for the first time in 2 years... just to get a call from the wife that the dog is sick and I need to come home...
FML -
Random poll:
If you have pets, do you own a cat or a dog?
A colleague has a personal statistic that says most developers have cats rather than dogs.
Just checking her data!52 -
I think of git as if it was my dog. For added fun name your remote "slippers". Then you can exec "git fetch slippers"2
-
Windows son of a bitch, motherfucker, moron, fucking dog, sister fucker, RAM fucker, PC fucker, fucking antimalware mother fucking shit motherfucker.4
-
iOS corner curves. I was thinking about how to make them on the web for a while now. This night, I saw a nightmare about a dog that drowned. In that dream, it was me who was responsible. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I knew exactly how to make those curves.
I _told_ you they will be mine, two hours ago. I made it. Thank you Shányushka the dog that never existed. Rest in peace.
17 -
!rant (Silicon Valley)
What are your thoughts on seefoods pivot from hot dog to d*ck recognition?20 -
If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore(Silicon valley of India), chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.
-
Why are most developers/software engineers so absolutely fucking shit at their craft?
I understand incompetence exists in every occupation but it seems in development the ratio of bad developers to good developers is like 9:1. There’s a serious lack of quality in this industry and it’s only further exacerbated by coding bootcamps and orgs like general assembly pumping out more dog shit9 -
Best:
Leaving my work in the soul crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics for higher education software for colleges and universities .
I work at a college and I fucking love it and love my team.
Worst:
The soulc crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics where I worked as a backend developer and lead mobile developer. Not only did it made me hate and despise native android development, but it also made me despise the human race as a whole. Watching a motherfucker letting go of employees that he knew personally (as in bbq with their families and shit) because my software automated a large portion of their work(it was meant to make it easier for them for that i was originally told) was absolute and total bullshit and i still carry that fucking remorse with me. After that I vowed never to do that sort of bullshit work again....sort off. No one gets fired at this institition for it. Logistics sucks big monkey dick and the people there are the absolute fucking worst. Every single motherfucker i met was a fucking shark, all of them and they would not think about fucking people over if it saved them some money.
Yeah, that even tops the military and that was fuuuull of fuck fuck games and other similar fuckery.2 -
My 15 year old son witnessed our two male dogs licking each other's privates. My son, in some sort of shock, starts walking around the house saying "My dog is a homo sex you awl!" repeatedly (emphasis on how the syllables sounded).
I stopped him and said, "We need to talk about the birds and the birds."4 -
I think I figured where to draw the line when trying to learn cybersecurity.
Learning ActiveDirectory.
No fucking thanks, I’d rather eat a big steaming pile of dog shit.10 -
Started a new job as a senior dev but with a framework I've never worked with and I just feel like I'm slow AF and just not qualified for the job. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm greiving my dog that passed last Tuesday.6
-
Front-end hacking is pure dog shite.
Some banana fuckers changed a forms plugin for PukePress some odd years ago and now I am responsible, after installing 2 major releases, to make it behave and look the same as it did before.
I'd rather dangle in a noose than cleaning up their spaghettified CSS selectors and random jokeQuery code.4 -
So it's required by law to chip and register your dog. I just got a puppy so I had to change the owner of the dog from the kennel to me. And the only thing I needed was my chipvalue and the registration number.
So all I have to do is scan the dog and try the registration numbers and then I can change the owner. Like wtf. And it does not even send a confirmation email. I checked by changing owner and email again.
My registration number is only in the 600K so other registered pets should be easy enough to bruteforce.
Or am I missing something?7 -
My coWorker cried at her desk all day because of a post on Facebook. Apparently her aunt was trying was finding a new home for her grandma's dog.
(Don't Ask!)
Often times I have to share the burden of 'Dr. Phillin' her just so I can work done. I tell my other coWorker this so he knows her fragile mental state and I get this back in Slack.
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if the stars align, i will have a dobie sometime early 2024. i want to only go through ethical breeders, so the wait has been long, but it’s worth it. i’ve never had a dog before and i’m SO excited !!!
pic is of momma and one of her puppers from a previous litter, but we will be keeping the ears floppy :)
16 -
New job wants me to send them a photo for the ice breaker email they're sending out about me joining...now to find a pic where I'm not making a dumb face or taking a selfie with a dog.7
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You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)
Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?4 -
My dog waits until I'm super focused and in the middle of something to let me know she has to pee.2
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You think one day your dog could be a wireless adapter. Nowadays dog are getting microchips, as sick as it sounds I wonder if you can ad a wireless chip card on a dogs microchip.5
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Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."
I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.3 -
This scared the shit out of me
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
Boston Dynamics selling robot dog for $75k only
5 -
The best happened today.
These past 2 weeks have been shit. People wronged me big time, got thrown under the bus for shit that the people behind refused to own up to it. Took that shit because I just couldn't be bothered to fucking argue.
I'm the only dev on this project and we're so close to release so I bit my tongue and took it on the chin but it's been eating me alive since then.
The tipping point was yesterday. 5 people failed to communicate shit properly amongst themselves on all channels got me forced to be the last one finishing work yesterday 4 hours after everyone left. I had every right to refuse and leave on time but again, we're so close to release and I don't want to see this project fail.
But see, I got angry. So fucking angry that nothing else has been on my mind since yesterday.
I don't take out my anger at others, that's not who I am (moslty) so today I was at work and secluded myself from everyone else otherwise I would've exploded in someone's face.
I was also supposed to meet up with friends tonight but with all this shit going on I decided not to go because I would not have been fun to be around.
Left work on time today, fell asleep on the train because I am too exhausted.
When I was about to walk into my house I noticed this little super cute puppy following me. I had no idea where or how long he's been behind me as I was walking home but he seemed way too happy when I saw him. His tail wagging like he's excited to see me even though I have never seen him. I petted him, played a bit with him. He seemed to be the happiest dog ever 😁. He managed to put a smile on my face for the first time in the last few days.
He then ran away.. I guess he got bored 😅
I am feeling so much better now all because of this little puppy 🐶. I'm so glad I ran into him because I've been smiling since then.
I wish I had took a picture of him 😥
Doggo, you probably won't read this, but thanks mate you made my month in those few minutes 🤘
If you have a dog, go pet him and appreciate how much happiness they bring in your life. If you have a cat.. Uhh I don't know... Uhh pray it doesn't kill you in your sleep I guess?
Thanks for reading3 -
!rant
I don't have a stress ball yet, but I share these two small guys with my dog. One for summer and one for Halloween & Winter. And they both squeak like crazy.
Actually, they're a terrible strain when my dog's working on them.
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The sound of my back and shoulders (left shoulder mostly) cracking as I do a half downward dog stretch after sitting in the worst possible posture all day is both terrifying and satisfying......2
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What "debug" word do you use to see if you code reaches that point in the execution?
Mine is "perro" (dog in spanish)
die('perro');
console.log('perro')
print('perro')14 -
App idea: Program that processes funny dog/cat videos and removes the annoying ass thought bubble text they put in them. Like "I is hungreh" or "you is doin me a concern" or whatever. That shit. I hate it.6
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Ever wanted to have a live webcam stream from a room at a dog shelter somewhere in the U.S.?
https://doggos.kescher.at
Done using https://git.kescher.at/jeremy.kesch... :)
Yeah that stream is a webcam they left publicly accessible. Probably on accident, but who cares.16 -
I fucking hate my job
Man it’s been a year now freelancing and just working like a dog day and night for a scammy dating app and I just wanna shoot myself in the face at this point. Just another horrible day after the other dealing with a bunch of assholes.3 -
It's a process for me, I can get unstuck at any point in it.
1. skip song on pandora
2. go outside with dog and smoke a cigarette
3. work on my dotfiles
4. rewrite the damn thing -
Ever tried explaining GitHub to someone? I swear it's like trying to teach a dog to ride a bike. You can try, but it's probably not going to end well.
Okay, rant over. Back to coding... and dealing with merge conflicts... and pull requests... and GitHub issues... sigh.4 -
When the fellow dev on your team buys a house and you just want a dog and your future model 3 (we are the same age) #LifeGoals
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Parking here fucking sucks.
I just made a url shortcut for finding parking, it redirects to the site of a parking lot 15 miles away, because if you get here after 8am, there is no parking. If you want me to work, then give me a place to park my car. Spend some of that executive bonus on building a new parking garage you dog rocket sucking suits.1 -
Microsoft for creating typescript, and google for maintaining angular and forcing people to learn typescript before learning dog shit angular8
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Was late the first day (nobody told me when to be there). Was sick as a dog. Had to pull my car over on the way there to puke. Sat through a few hours of orientation hoping I could just go the next 5 minutes without puking. Puked between orientation and actually getting to my office location. Not a fun day.
Never told anyone I was sick.1 -
I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck1
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Just in case anyone here knows someone stupid enough to believe that all the major companies aren't listening to you ALL THE TIME.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
TLDW: Dude doesn't own a dog, sees no dog ads on Google. Closes the browser and talks about dogs for a minute. Then multiple pages advertise dog toys to him.3 -
std::chrono is::a::fucking::pile::of::dog::shit. What a fucking disgrace. Hated it in boost, now this shit is in std. Each time I use it, I have to use google. Google should become part of std chrono in c++, without it you cannot write chrono code.
To make time_point member in your own class you have to do this: std::chrono::high_resolution_clock::time_point t; ... WTF7 -
9pm I REALLY needed to get some work done... Head was dropping like a nodding dog at my laptop... Gave up and went to bed.... Now its after 2am and I've been watching YouTube for 5 hours and still awake.... Just what even....1
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My pet peeve is IMs that start wtth hi or GM. Please people. Can you write what you want from me. Why don't you ask about how my dog is doing as well?6
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Wish I could come up with ideas for projects so that I can show off my git profile *Sad feel dog attached
3 -
The wife, the dog, the commute, the chatty colleagues, the phones, the cars, the peoplethe keyboardthecommentsthefunctionsthebadlywrittenvariablestheinternetfacebookreddittwitterlinkedinblogsdesginsrslyauotshlmtscsjvaarcstipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa devrant1
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Going back and rewatching Star Wars stuff only to remember and get pissed off once again about the Sequel Trilogy. I can’t believe some people are allowed to make movies, watching a dog poop has more value than the entire story of those three movies, and Disney can go fuck themselves for that.10
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My body decided to work against me
Last 3 days my “sleep schedule” has been “stay in bed with eyes closed until it’s morning without falling asleep”
If I go insane please tell my dog she was adopted. Ah… insanity is starting to kick in, next steps I’m defending pascal and managers…2 -
I went to walgreens website on my phone.
First it is dog ass slow. Really you targetted phones and you make it shitty?
Then I tried hitting "contact us". When I do this it opens up the product page with some random search inserted.
All I wanted was a local phone number for pharmacy. I failed to get a number.2 -
Whenever I open my laptop, my cat jumps, sits on the keyboard and does not move.
Meanwhile, my dog stays busy with his bone *_*6 -
People should take their fireworks and shove them up their asses. I finally understand how cats and dogs feel on new years. Except I'm not a dog but, a frightened parent, scared of my kids being woken up by bangs and flashes!6
-
+ I like to leave YouTube Music playing whilst working
+ Capaldi's new song cropped up
+ The rest of my day is destroyed
That dog story wrecked me
Thanks -
Will yellow dog finish one fucking game he starts working on? Tune in to tomorrows episode of Whyismywebsocketnotresponding Z to find out.
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!devRant
Be me on vacation ~1500 miles from home
Board dogs like normal
Oldest dog (13y) gets sick
Boarding people take to vet as requested
Vet calls saying he is vomiting "coffee grounds" (that means he is bleeding into his stomach)
Won't be back until next Sunday
May have to bury dog when I get back.2 -
Soooo many vendor-sponsored frontend frameworks.
Soon text-to-logic tools will be useful enough so that you only need a client, someone who is both rational *and* can speaks clientese, and a dog.
The client barks some nonsense, the rational person translates it into business logic, some LLM makes it into some nice UI and the dog makes random noises so that the client will feel smart, valued and appreciated.
That nullifies the reasons for so many frontend frameworks because either the LLMs all converge into a single way of doing things or they do not care for which one they choose.1 -
Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5 -
Nvidia's drivers for Linux are absolute dog shit. Like how difficult is it to make something functional? I only have 2 monitors connected but the second one is causing the driver to crash, wtf.8
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when the you're waiting like a dog at the window for the postman to come and he still doesn't have your new computer parts😥2
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After thinking about what I should do. I first was going to do autohotkeys but, I thought there would be a better way... Is there a way to get a HTML from a website and display certain sections to the end user? E.G Someone enter Dog enter a GUI and the it gets the top three search results and the display them in a notepad or something.2
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RIP my fucking dog laptop. And FUCK Asus. The solution to fixing the fucking laptop is to get a new MB and display. But the motherboard is so God same expensive because you obviously have to solder every fucking component on it so that it's much more of a PITA.
PS yes I'm fucking angry but I hope y'all having a nice day.4 -
In the factory of the future, there will be only robots, but also one man and one dog.
The man will feed the dog, and the dog will keep the man away from robots.12 -
So, I was talking to my dog and he said that I should go out and make some friends.. Jokes on him cause he's the one sitting locked up in my pc...
Haha..
Please say 'hi' the comments3 -
#1 clean up the internet of domains, use those beautiful and fancy TLDs - blog, photography, gallery, cloud, house, gov, xxx
#2 more fanatical - clean the internet of cat / dog / [supposedly cute animal] pictures, and later - npm packages1 -
lifeRant
Quite the day coming up for me..
2 courseworks to finish,
I need to finish the clients app or I won't get payed.
And the icing on the fucking day is that I will find out if my dog will have to be put down..
Fuck, life, why do you do this??!?1 -
When you swear, because someone is demonstrating something on IE.
Shit, show them a cute pic of my dog! -
Easter egg numero uno: on lifestride.com, when you search for "our puppy" you're presented with a full screen image of an awesome stock photo dog.
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Most Pricing pages be like:
________________________________________
Premium | Premium | Premium | Premium
freemium | recommend | unlimited | enterprise
Runaway when you see such... It's all premium dog poop! -
Why is everyone+dog starting to harden their systems against quantum computers cracking it? Are usable quantum computers available for all the insiders now? This is all giving me the deja vu feel of eternalblue/wannacry fix Microsoft was passionately recommending to update back when it wasn't publicly know.
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I kind of wish there was an option for a small brown dog for my avatar.
My dog is a small brown mutt (I think that's the word? She doesn't have a breed) and right now there's no dog that looks like her 😭6 -
'Job requires 5 years of commercial development experience'
So in other words, we are after someone who knows that every software company goes to the dog after x amount of years and that inevitably all the developers become inhuman code jockeys.
Back to the cupboard I go! -
So Adam was like dog, goat, lion, elephant, squirrel,
then:
"This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh..."
Even the snake was like: "That escalated fast" -
So qq. I am trying to make a portable (low volume) web appliance with a Raspberry Pi...but it’s dog slow. It uses an embedded DB so I am assuming it is probably the SD card that is the bottle neck. Do you think an external drive would help?4
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Question about Game Development:
I want to create myself a boardgame (Dog aka Tock aka Tuck). It should run on a Android Tablet.
What suggestions do you have?
- Is there some good framework for a native App?
OR
- Should I create a WebApp, if that's the thing nowadays?19 -
Other'sML Model : Can predict future stock price, health issues and more..
My ML Model : Cannot differentiate in cat and dog. -
8 hours of coding later and Im back where I began, and Im not even a dev, Im a sysadmin with a little PHP background tasked to write a Sku generating bundle for a PIM running on symphony.
<Insert I have no idea what Im doing dog meme here>1 -
I wanna Thank me for believing in me...
I wanna Thank me Doing all this hardwork...
.
.. (Snoop Dog Style)
😂😂😂
2 -
Cats and dogs - I interact with both in my uni and love both of them (yea well guess which one of them actually reciprocates the love).
I'm kinda having a tough time deciding which one do I keep in my Avatar.
@dfox please add an option with both of 'em fuckers3 -
Legacy code horror story.
I had to work on code designed to identify dogs... didn't go well:
https://i.imgur.com/32IXo6Y.gifv
(Credit to reddit: https://co.reddit.com/r/...) -
The only time I didn't envy git is when most of the team had to refetch after our lead front-end developer deleted trunk, committed the deletion, and then a backender had to re-base it off his repo. Until then, I thought only my dog could fetch for days.
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made 2 websites that fetch pictures of dogs and cats from 2 public api's
https://satvik.ninja/cat-pics
https://satvik.ninja/dog-pics1 -
People all over the world own dogs as pets. In some places in the world people eat dogs.
Is it okay to feed your pet dog the scraps left over from eating dog?
I also pointed out to a coworker that New York has huge rats. I then said: "street steak".
The response was: "Why?!"2 -
Man people posting video of them copying code from code pen and say it’s their most creative login form so far
Like you can say today I’m gonna show you some code I found, but saying it’s your own code is just pure dumb, you are not that creative, you are dog shit1 -
You know what I hate ? All this creepy shit they altered everything into once the thick glass wearing ugly freaks started showing up. All the unpleasantness and unhappiness and creepy things only someone who was stopping a few minutes to murder or rape someone or get fucked by a dog would like. Feel free to take them this content don't want to be around it and I'm sick of it2
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I’m sorry girls but I can’t trust y’all 🤷♂️. Periodt.
Also, who wants to get a hot dog with me rn. Im fucking starving my goober gabb off, I feel like a sage fasting for the sake of personal holyness, but like fuck that I’m zooted and I need a dog.2
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