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My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
NO IOS, I DONT WANT TO SETUP A FUCKING TOUCH ID. I DONT FUCKING TRUST YOU WITH MY FUCKING BIOMETRIC DATA AND I DONT WANT TO GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT SETTING IT UP EVERY FUCKING HOUR.39
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One of our CEO: “we dont have the internet speed that we have paid for - I will check it out”
Developers: “please dont, remember last time?”
CEO: “the net will only be down for a couples of minuts”
Developers: “please dont touch anything, and do it after hours”
1 hour later we still dont have the internet restored.
FML!6 -
Wow, I dont use mainstreem languages, so my questions dont have that much upvotes.
Now I have a question-ban from stackoverflow :(
This isnt really fair...20 -
!dev
I never mix my personal and professional life. But I've totally lost that ability today.
She said no! 😶19 -
When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!1 -
Oh no, oooooh nononono
they dont delete the branches after a pull request
232 branches? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhno
and look at that naming
im intimidated, i dont want to work in this environment. No. NO!
8 -
When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.
Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes4 -
Windows fans,
============================
--------------Dont cross this line-----------
============================33 -
Oh you want my homework Solutions?
WELL NO! YOU WONT GET MY SOLUTIONS YOU PRICK! YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT! I WONT GIVE IT TO YOU!!
AND I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GRADES! THEY ARENT MINE! AND YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I DO MY FUCKING HOMEWORK AND IT PISSES ME OFF TO ALWAYS GET REQUESTS FOR MY FUCKING SOLUTIONS! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PUT IT IN A BAG AND TAKE IT TO THE SHIT STORE!
WHY?!
BECAUSE I DONT CARE! THATS WHY! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
AND MAKE GOOD GRADES!
BYE!!5 -
Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.
Me: *works furiously*
Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?3 -
devrant is not stackoverflow people. stop copying and pasting rants. It's likely we've seen it before. You're devs, use yo brains. #rant4rant #ctrlCctrlV1
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Why do devs hate windows (and all its products) so much? I mean yaa okay it is a shit os for you to get your development thingies done. Yaa I know its not open source. Yaa I know its not free. Yaa I know a lot of malwares are targetted towards windows. Yaa I know it takes decades to install updates which are released almost every week. And so on....
But wasnt windows the first operating system you laid your hands on? I mean me being a 90s born kid from India, Windows 98 was my first operating system and I was really in love with it as a teenager. MS paint was my playground and I used to go berserk over there. I mean come on. Being a teenager and knowing nothing about how a computer actually works, would you have been able to figure out how to run an NFS on linux? All the kickass presentations made in power point were so in during that time. The first code I ever wrote was in turbo C running on Windows XP. So whoever is bashing Windows and any of their products is a shit person because though Windows is not meant for developers (that too only some) it is a great operating system and I will always root for it in any forum/post where it is being bashed or criticized about. Not a Windows fan-boy (I dont known if there is even such a thing) but Windows is best for non-devs.21 -
"Google Removes 'Don't Be Evil' Clause From Its Code of Conduct"
welp
src: https://m.slashdot.org/story/341124
5 -
Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate16
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I dont like it when i have to edit an old code made by a previous developer, i dont want to touch that spaghet.
1 -
Made a Website.
What this friendly old Lady wanted: a update to her poem/song website that looked horrible.
What she got: A goddamn masterpiece considering there is NO backend and I got nearly no ressources to work with.
It took forever to put that stuff together since I thought I dont need any frameworks at all. I didnt know PHP at all back then, so I just went all out with everything that pure HTML and CSS could give me.
I even went outside to make nice photos to put into the Background.
....so, he said no PHP or anything? YES! If you wanna add content you change the HTML and upload stuff via Filezilla. I dont really want to see it ever again. But not because it looks bad.
I know, its not really coding since its HTML but I Count this!1 -
as every one showed their coding buddy, i had no chice but to reveal mine.
but dont be racist guys and dont judge him by his appearance, hes a little shy
8 -
Me: "Oh, I see the problem.... Ctrl ^C"
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
Me: "That's not how this works. I tell you to quit, and you quit. M'kay pumpkin? ... Ctrl ^C Ctrl ^C Ctrl ^C ....."
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
Me: "Stubborn piece of crap."
App: "Crash."7 -
Too everyone who said Europe is DOOMED too due too the recent Lisa of Net Neutrallity,
GO SUCK A BIG FUCKING DICK! AND AFTER THAT GET A ROPE AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! AMERICANS FUCKED UP!
AND YOU ALSO CAN GET A COCKFUCKED VPN IF YOUR NOT STUPID ENOUGH!
9 -
"We shall be doing maintenance on Friday 13th at 20:00 hours on our core routers"
I dont know if your insane or what. Dont think it helps that the ticket this created has 666 in its id....1 -
best Linux distro for programming?. i honesty dont want to buy a mac just for programming if i dont have to.44
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I dont fucking care if you dont like CSS Grid or flexbox Im not going to fucking CHANGE THE FUCKING ENTIRE LAYOUT.11
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When your non-technical manager calls you 18 times in a row at 0730 on a Sunday, you know there's a problem.
When the first thing said when picking up in your free time (after being woken up on said Sunday morning) is "why did you not answer earlier", ... ...
Ps. He was using the Dev link, not the production link.
PPS. This was a little while back now but felt like sharing 😂2 -
I asked one of my engineering classmate which processor they had in their laptop.
Ans : 3GB.
I dont know whether they dont know a shit about computers or they are too bad at english.10 -
"I dont like the way that you splitted your code into multiple small files. Simply put every logic into one controller." - so called "frontend architect" after reviewing a team's Angular code. I dont know what to think.2
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When i sit down and code, its like a conversation with women.
Im not sure whats going on, but it appears to be working.6 -
Hey, if you buy my algorithm and dont actually hire me (not that i would have accepted anyway), dont fucking spam my phone 2 months later to explain a fucking regression to your msc students who seem to have learned jackshit @ college.
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When people give a bad review on your app because they dont know how to use it, they dont know what it is, and they don't bother reading the description.1
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*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.
DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.3 -
when you divide the products you sell into different categories, i dont think "human hair" is a good category.
this actually gives me an idea. i kinda wanna create a redesign plan for aliexpress app tbh cause i dont like its UI/UX.
8 -
I dont need DuckDuckGo,
I dont need any VPN
I dont need all of this "Internet Privacy Service" BULLSHIT which my ISP wants me to use,
I DONT NEED ANY OF THIS FUCKING SHIT!
AND I DONT WANT IT EITHER!
I HAVE MY OWN PI HOLE!
AND THATS FUCKING ENOUGH FOR WHAT I NEED! STOP TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THIS "We are clearly not logging your shit" WHILE YOU DO!!
Because I have my own shit!
Thx10 -
aaarghh i left my laptop at home and now im bored as hell at work. i had things planned out for today and now i cant do them cause i dont have my laptop with me for 2 hours. the computers at work dont have everything i need :(1
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EsLint => 3n errors in you code.
Program failed to run
Removed ESLint
And application ran forever
EsLint is like that mother that warns her daughter time to time. Dont sit like this. Dont play with your hair. Dont whistle11 -
"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT3 -
Headphone is my ultimate tool in dev.🤣
You know why, dont pretend you dont own one, maybe two.
Headphone can magically make you super ignorance power while coding.
I even ingnore my boss while he's talking straight to my face -
***ILLEGAL***
so its IPL(cricket) season in india, there is a OTT service called hotstar (its like netflix of india), the cricket streams exclusively on hotstar..
so a quick google search reveals literally thousands of emails & passwords, found a pastebin containing 500 emails&passwords ...but those are leaked last year most of passwords are changed & many of them enabled 2FA.. after looking through them we can find some passwords are similar to their emails , some contains birth year like 1975,1997 etc, some passwords end with 123 ..so after trying a few different versions of the passwords like
1) password123 -> password@123, password1234
2) passwordyear -> password@year
2) for passwords similar to emails, we can add 123 ,1234, @ etc
created a quick python script for sending login requests
so after like 30-40 mins of work, i have 7 working accounts
*for those who have basic idea of security practices you can skip this part
lessons learnt
1) enable 2FA
2) use strong passwords, if you change your password , new password should be very different from the old one
there are several thousands of leaked plaintext passwords for services like netflix,spotify, hulu etc, are easily available using simple google search,
after looking through & analysing thousands of them you can find many common passwords , common patterns
they may not be as obvious as password ,password123 but they are easily guessable.
mainly this is because these type of entertainment services are used by the average joe, they dont care about strong passwords, 2FA etc6 -
If you dont find any answers on stack overflow dont post a question there.
That place is too cruel for adults let alone kids1 -
[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!2 -
Stories like the one I'm about to tell you are just another reason why people hate Windows. I know I usually preach 'Don't hate everything' and shit, but this is a real big fucking deal when it hits your desktop for no reason.
Now, onto the actual story...
Background: Playing with my Oculus, fixing issues like forgetting to use USB3 and stuff. I learned about an issue with Nvidia GPUs, where in Windows, they can only support 4 simultaneous displays per GPU. I only have the one GPU in my system, Nova, so I have to unplug a monitor to get Oculus and its virtual window thingy working. Alright, friend gave me idea of using my old GPU to drive one of my lesser used monitors, my right one. Great idea I thought, I'll install it a bit later.
A bit later...
I plug the GPU in (after 3 tries of missing the PCI-E slot, fuckers) and for some reason I'm getting boot issues. It's booting to the wrong drive, sometimes it'll not even bother TRYING to boot, suddenly one of my hard drives isn't even being recognized in BIOS, fuck. Alright, is the GPU at least being recognized? Shit, it isn't. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
Oh wait. I just forgot the power cable Duh. Plug that in, same issues. Alright, now I have no idea. Try desperately to boot, but it just won't I start getting boot error 0xc000000f. Critical device not found. Alrighty then. Fuck my life, eh?
Remove the GPU, look around a bit while frantically trying to boot the system, and I notice an oddly bent SATA cable. I look at it and the bastard is FRAYED AT THE END! Fuck, that's my main SSD! I finally replace the SATA cable and boot, still the same error... Boot into a recovery environment, and guess what?
Windows has decided to change my boot partition, ya know, the FUCKING C: DRIVE, from NTFS to RAW format, stripping it of formatting! What the actual fuck Microsoft? You just took a shit on yourself while having a seizure on the fucking MOON! Fine, fuck you, I have recovery USB! Oh, shit, that won't boot... I have an old installation! Boot ITS recovery, try desperately to find a fix online... CHKDSK C: /F... alright, repairing, awesome! Repaired, I can see data, but not boot. So now I'm at the point where I'm waiting for a USB installer to be created over USB 2.0. Wheeeeeeeeee. FML.
THESE are the times I usually hate Windows a lot. And I do. But it gets MOST of my work done. Except when it does this.
I'm already pissed, so don't go into the comments and just hate on Windows completely. Just a little. The main post is for the main hate. Deal with it. And I know that someone is going to come at me "Ohhhhh, you need FUCKIN LIIIIIIINUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX!' Want to know my response to that?
No.3 -
Do you plan to develop a mobile app which works cross platform? DONT USE IONIC(2). JUST DONT. Thank me later. Have a look at react native (not perfect but much better)13
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I have an old macbook pro (mid 2010) which I dont use anymore. Im thinking of installing linux on it. Just for the heck of it.
Do you have any suggestions? Have anyone done it?
*I dont need it for any day to day activity.11 -
People who dont know shit about technology and dont know how much work is required to make a product are commenting on how software should be made. (Pure management background people not even senior level).
- PS. Im fine with management people with tech background.2 -
Code doesnt work, i dont know why
*comments then uncomments same line*
Code works, stilll dont know why2 -
Just want to put it out there.. Please dont degrade yourself by calling yourself a coder ...
https://harishtheblogger.wordpress.com/...12 -
designer: the distance from the baseline of the letter "p" to the bottom of the box should be 150px exactly. You are 4px off.
me: Erm... baseline?
designer: Yes. Not the "base" or the "beardline". It must be the "baseline" of the font.
me: uh huh....
designer: And it must be the same in all browser, chrome, firefox, internet explorer
me: Orite, lets save the whole Psd and <img src="whole-website.jpg"> Tada!5 -
i dont know sql, gotta look shit up and dont much of it really internalized
i may be now being assigned somebody else's task to do some sql shit
fucking kill me3 -
Did some math about corona development in germany...
even if we immediately lockdown, the health system will be far overstressed.
we're literally fucked.
but dont believe me, dont believe the rki, go run the numbers yourself and keep in mind, that theres a 2 week incubation period6 -
when you have coded the sun the moon and the stars. but the motherfucker still wants a universe engraved on a fucking ice cube. AND YOU'LL DO IT ANYWAY. CAUSE YOUR HIS FUCKING BITCH. YOU GUCKING GUCK!2
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Feeling like shit, tired, stressed and then going into a performance review where aparently im far exceeding what i need to do. Makes me wonder why i need to feel like this, i dont really feel excited although there was positive news.. I think i need sleep1
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# continuation of https://devrant.io/rants/2195230
I replied, that I need the pictures as seperate jpg/png files and that he should upload it somewhere for me to access them.
and well, he did - i was suprised ... BUT
he srsly just did screenshots of these pictures from whithin the pdf file - ON HIS PHONE.
u have ever seen an apple phone these days? those with the missing home button? yeah, you have a digital on screen overlay home button now. and guess - it is in every picture.
I dont care any more. it goes online as is....
tiny, pixelated pictures with beautifull shiny white on-screen home button on them. this is how we roll these days!2 -
!rant, just asking the wise devRant community for advice:
What is a good laptop that works well with linux? Thanks in advance :)11 -
Starting college soon.. I'm really hoping I dont get one of those shit teachers that doesnt actually know what they're talking about..7
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Had an skype job interview, at some point the interviewer asked me to tell a joke. I told a dead baby joke. I dont know normal jokes. I am not normal either. Dont think he enjoyed it.3
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Just wrote a long overdue tamperMonkey script that removes any post containing both the words "type" and "amen" from my newsfeed.
Aaah sweet relief!4 -
Note to JavaScript beginners:
Dont use vanilla JS, use ECMAscript6 or typescript.
Its so much better4 -
Yesterday i went coding, tired as hell. I told myself “Atleast i get smth done“ i was wrong. Redid everything and now expect many merge conflicts when i get home1
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YOU DONT WANT TO BE ME FUCKING ME RYT NOW
..... I DONT MEAN LIKE FUCKING BUT
WAT THA FUCK AM I EVEN SAYING !!!!!!5 -
In some cases only emojis are not encoded properly - dont know how to replicate - dont know why its happening (made sure im setting to utf8)3
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I understand devs find it hard to say "I dont know" because our job is about not knowing then knowing through our own accord, but damn, when you dont know. Let that be known, you may be directed or helped. Both you and the task requester will have a good time. And better expectations set.
Say it with me... "I dont know, but-will-look-into-it"
You might hear something nice like "here are some pointers"3 -
For the past 3 days, I lose my motivation to code. Im pushing myself but I didnt work. And I dont like it!!!! 😭😭😭 fuck!!!
Anyone here can give me some advice or atleast a motivation to code? Fck!! i dont freakin like this5 -
Ive now waited a few days to do what i was so excited to do. Now im drunk and not sure what i was about to do. I do remember it had to do with a server tho, and im still excited :)
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SO's accepted answers being "no dont do what you want to do, use this corporate™-certified library instead, we ALLLLL use it too"
Like bitch if I wanna kill myself with a knife, tell me which vein to cut, dont recommend me a gun, I dont want it. ffs.9 -
my oh my, its my bad, .. dont worry its my bad. you dont have to look at me like that. im sorry cos im asking you about wtf was wrong with code and asking you to fix it.. #case sensitive.
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Be clear on your aim as a dev.
Be truthful of wat u know.
DONT DONT ever try to outsmart a interviewer who himself is a dev for many years.
Lastly keep cool and backup ur skills. -
I dont understand why people talk so much crap about python. How it "pseudocode".. yea its a" joke" i get it. But if whoever is making said joke dont even know what pythonic programming is , nor practice it. Then said person dont really know how to code in python.. its more like modified c++ and they cant talk crap.
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me: i dont like this [game/movie/product]
idiots on internet: "iF yOu DoNt LiKe it Then Don'T ..."
bitch i already paid for it5 -
"dont bother with unit tests we dont have budget for those" - still paying the price for naively following that one, every svn merge is a bastard now1
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So I am working on a Java library with minimal dependencies. Everything goes well until you dont want clients knowing how to construct the internal objects and you dont have a depenency injection framework to help.
Unit testing becomes that bit trickier1 -
So I have negligible experience doing mobile app development (simplish hello world Java app few years ago).
What's your advice to start getting into it? Flutter? Kotlin? I honestly dont have a clue. I want to target Android at first but very like this needs to support iOS as well.
I'm quite the experienced dev so I dont need some something to hold my hand, yet I dont have the time currently to fight a steep learning curve.3
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