"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

I came early today to the office

Found the office locked

Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO

With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times

There u go.office door opened with welcome message

just hacked the system

Genius me

Trying to make some 8-bit style door sprite.

In a Skype meeting with a possible new employer.

Unlocks door after meeting and opens door. There stands my current CEO.

"You're locking your door?"
"Yep." *runs away*

Almost shit myself 😂

7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

Door to door salespeople are real life popup ads!

$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery

$ touch /woman
touch: cannot touch `woman': Permission denied

$ look into "my eyes"
can’t open my eyes

$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate

Le me everytime opportunity knocks on my door.

So the bosses and general peeps at work never close our door properly.

Finally earning the "engineer" part of our job titles :p!

oh man.....

We could say I'm kind of a sticker man. (I got more unused in a bag, that's an addiction)

And yes, devrant stickers are on it, they are among the first I put on this door 😊

Just moved from a cubicle to an office with a door AND window.

Feels good man.

JS.... you know... For the kids..

Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.

Whenever I see a door that says "push", I always pull first, to avoid conflicts.

Fucking fuck.
Females in QA always use a hand lotion or a creme, so every damn door handle and every test device is constantly oily and moist.

I've told them multiple times that it needs to stop but they only told me I was pathetic (maybe I am), now finally few others also started noticing that any phone in their hand slips away every time.

Even after using a restroom and grabbing the doorknob of our office I need to go back, wash my hands again and then open the door with a napkin.

I hate dirty things and ignorant coworkers who don't give a fuck about others. I'll start wearing gloves probably.

Anyone else have weird useless dreams?

Last night I dreamed that if my cat couldn't open my door, it was because her depencies weren't correctly installed.

"I don't like the people in this town, they're so empty."

"I don't have a girlfriend, all the girls in here are so empty."

"I prefer reading over scrolling down through Facebook feeds, because books teach you something."

This time those words didn't come from me.. as it so happens that the guy who recently moved into the apartment next door is an aerospace engineer, also diagnosed with autism (I suspect Asperger) and apparently a curious brainiac as well. Guess I've just found myself a new friend.. right next door 😋

Whenever I see a door that says push, I pull first to prevent conflicts.

My company just made a nice design on the first door you see after entering the building.

Im so happy they started counting dev rooms from 0

When I see a door that has a sign saying "push" I pull first to avoid conflicts

Faaaaaaaaaaaak. Elevator door closed on me and friggin cracked my favorite GitHub coffee mug.. RIP

Only one sticker.

I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Haskell?".

Most people slam the door shut in my face, but every lost family I convert to the way of the monad is worth it.

Even if they don't believe in the same deity, even if they express their love for the divine through something as misguided as Typescript or Swift or whatever, as long as they embrace the truth of strong types and composable code, as long as they at least read the gospel of the functional style once in their lives, have one enlightened moment where they see the glory of morphisms, it's all good.

ah I want this door mat!

I have 2 screens @ my desk with my back facing manager's room. Whenever he opens his door, he can see my second screen.
Thinking of a side project based on webcam that will auto open visual studio upon seeing him. Any leads would be appreciated. 😊

The door to my room at work

This baby just arrived at my door. It's gonna be a fun weekend! My first touch with IoT world.

What do you think about my custom doorsystem? It's build with a pi, RFID reader, touchscreen and some other parts. (It's still in development)

Found this in my office door this morning...

me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.

I am officially my Manager's own personal google.

"What is the Wifi Password?"
"I can't print this, can you help?"
"How do I switch keyboard layout?"
"How do I turn on the computer?"
"How do I close the door of my office?"

Soon she's going to call me "Ok Google, <stupid question>"

Boy: I want to draw a door for my house drawing...
Teacher: Google it..
Boy: I found it. house-door.jpg. It seems popular. A lot of stars.
Teacher: download it, cut and paste to your paper.
Boy:Can I draw it myself?
Teacher: yes.. but this is easier, isn't it? Don't reinvent the wheel.
Boy: but, this door does not match with my french window.
Teacher: oh, integrate french windows with door? Try to search house-door-french-window.jpg. maybe someone already did something like that?

Ransomware knocks your door :)

Near to my job, there's a small street with only one door, guess what is the number.

!dev

Train operator: "Dear Valued Passanger: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DOOR OR LEAVE MY TRAIN."

At least it was what he'd like to say, based on his voice :/

So this key smiles when you open a door and makes a sad face when you try to open a room you don't have acces to.

I wrote an app that tells me if a lottery ticket is winning. It takes a picture of the ticket, does OCR, finds the number lines and compares them with a remote json.
I live next door to a lottery shop.

Anytime it is more than 24°C outside, my colleagues insist on working with all door and windows open. I feel like trying to code in a wind tunnel. Picture lamps hanging from the ceiling softly moving. Also we are 50 metres from the train station, so this means we get to enjoy all the announcements.

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

A door resistor, because door stoppers are overrated..

I am always pulling before pushing... a door.

I was doing a physical security engagement on a clients home. The door had a new smart lock, I called his landline to inform him it was us at the front door. I got the answering machine, and figured it'd be funny to say "Alexa, unlock the front door." To our surprise, the front door unlocked.

Thank fuck I was so early at work today.

As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.

My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!

The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.

Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.

Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?

Today was a good day. The toilet door was stuck for two hours because the lock broke. After the locksmith came and tried his best, we had to kick the door in. Fun fact: a fellow dev was stuck on the inside...

I got the internship! 😊

Finally getting my foot in the door! :D

Racism is still a thing in Germany...
At 11 am, I parked my car in to the right parking lane. It didn't cross any line. A woman in her 50s had the door to my side open and still didn't decide to close it, when I was parking.
Anyways, I got ready to get out of the car. All of the sudden, she knocked on my door. I did open the window.
[Short break: S=She and M=Me]
*Dialogue starts here*
S: How dare you park here?! Over there *points to the next parking slots next to her car* is enough place for your car.
M: I am allowed to park here. Plus, I am not crossing your lane. Aside from that, your door was open. Close the door first (before you fucking yell at me, you bitch - I didn't say this tho.).
S *completely ignores what I just said and focuses on my first phrase*: Of course, you are allowed to park here. But you are also allowed to go back to Turkey! *goes back to her car*
M *completely shocked and thinks about what I have been doing wrong and how Turkey is even related to this parking situation*: FUCK OFF!
*notes her license plate*
*finally gets out of the car. locks it. walks slowly in front of her car, when she just wants to drive away from the parking slot just to annoy the shit out of her with a big ass grin in my face waving at her*

Once, my Roomba managed it to lock me out from my apartment by throwing some wooden planks right between my front door and my cabinet.

*runs into underground bunker*

wew i'm safe!

*door creeks open*

someone whispers: "Psst, we've updated our privacy policy"

I'm holding a programming class today, it's an open-door event, so anyone can come and try it out.
Nothing too much, just basic things.

I've been holding it for 30 min... To no one... No one showed up...

To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:

alert("FUCK YOU");

And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
Shit.

When I see a door with a push sign, I pull first to avoid conflicts

**office**
*knock knock*
Sorry, permission denied: only officials allowed
*sudo knock knock*
*door opens slowly*

i would like 2 please

You know it...from the introductory page of "Clean Code" by Robert C. Martin.

Which door represents your code?

*boss spends £30000 pounds on an outside team to do, essentially, nothing* "You developers just don't understand business, we need to get products out the door not waste time building them properly. You're wasting company resources, we're out of money and it's your fault". Cool....

I don't know how that key could enter in that door lock...

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

!rant Went shooting for the first time over the weekend. Was so proud of my grouping that I hung my target on the door to the garage on the side that faces the garage so if anyone breaks into my garage they have to see it before getting into the house. 😂

When the boss believes that adding more devs to a project in the last week of a three month stint will "get it out the door faster".

Because baking that cake at twice the temperature for half the time worked so well last time, we'll do it while the oven is rolling down a cliff.

What do programmer jehova's witnesses say door to door?
.
Would you like to hear about our great savior linux?

Not a software bug but an organisational bug...

Employees holding the door to other people so they can come into a secured building without using their identity badges.

I look like an asshole everytime I refuse to let people I don't know in because most people let them in...

Wanted to open the door to the outside word and see this fucker just sitting at eyelevel a few centimeters away from my face... I'm awake now.

And don't worry he lives his live outside now.

I guess some one saw the future at 1923
But didn't took the mute functionality into consideration🧐

Singelton..... Is it??

I should put a sign on my door, "DO NOT DISTURB, CODING.... BRING SACRIFICE IF YOU MUST...." damn distractions....

well hahaha......

Scared the shit out of g/f by using festival on Linux.

SSH'd into computer in bedroom from bathroom, announcing
"I am Lucifer. I'm coming for you, Jenny!"
Followed by a shutdown of PC. She shit herself banging on the bathroom door.
😂

Thanks to a small order mix up, I'm now sitting on 10 extra SIM cards for some IoT devices. I think my wife's going to kill me if she sees 10 Raspberry Pis show up at the door, but what else do you do with them?

more robust fart library

!dev

>goes to karaoke room
>hears familiar voice
>peaks in an opened door
>sees green glass bottle
>sees classmate
>laughs

I went to sleep at 7 fucking AM.
Mom kept knocking on my door until I woke up. Apparently I am the only one in this fucking house who can give directions to guests coming home.

I mean I feel like a fucking Gollum right now. Fuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkk !!! 😠😠😠😡😡😡

I earned devie middle. Bought devie left. I came in this morning and devie right is looking at me???
This may be a Tribble situation! Worried when I open my office door Monday they may come pouring out. What will I do with thousands of devies???

"When i see a door with a push sign, i pull first to avoid conflicts !!!"

To all of you who push their OS preferences like door-to-door religious zealots: I wish you stuck on your least-liked platform for the rest of your days.

I'll also throw in a side of providing tech support to the incompetent.

Fuck your lot.

So, today's comedy job story (and how depressive things become), and it's only 9:30.

Stressed PM assaults me at 8 to tell me what I have to do, standing next to me and dictacting stuff she wants done. Hate that.

As I went to a colleague to help her out with these fucking presentations (she "couldn't open them"), as I just arrived to her office my phone rings.

It's my PM. I'm 20m away, she calls me. Ok.

Me: "Yes?"
PM: "Hey Phlisg, erm, we are stuck in a conference room, can you come and open the door?"
Me: "Erm, the door has no handle, can't help"
PM: "Can you call the "housekeeper"?"
Me: "Sure" (why the hell doesn't she have his number...)

I go downstairs, go towards the conference room, and before the door there is the reception office. I ask the colleagues in there if the "housekeeper" is here, but they instead produced the handle from their drawers, and went to the door to open it.

At the same time, a person locked inside the conference room went through the window to go round and try to open the door.

Door successfully opened by colleague with handle.

I mean...

WHAT

THE

FUCK!

You have a problem? One reflex: call Phlisg. She might call me at 2 am in the morning because she cannot sleep or something.

Pissed!!

My security knowledge is so bad. But I don't know where should I start.😖
My coworkers know about this, so I don't get involved on related topics.🤤
Last time I asked same question, someone gave me link, and it all about DIY welding metal tubes into a security door.🤦‍♂️
Any better suggestion?

Why does the FBI even bother asking Apple to put a back door into their devices when it already comes with backdoors?

Nice answer.... 😅😅

I'm telling you, the spider on the door frame to my office just now was THIS BIG.

I'm not ok. Not at all.

Door of our college washroom

English is weird.
Take the double oo for example.
There are so many different pronunciations for it and there seems to be no rules whatsoever.

mood
wood
blood
door

All different

Text a random number, 'I hid the body. What's next?'. When cops come knocking on your front door, show them this,

body {
visibility: hidden;
}

I hate it whenever I'm joining a new company/client. It takes them days to provide me access card so I need to f*ckin knock on the door everytime I come back from pooping.

Everyone says "don't lie, don't bluff", but all those years ago I put my foot in the door and got my first ever dev job by pretending I knew what JavaScript was. It all worked out in the end.

Yesterday Australia Melbourne Metro train had computer fault. Train stopped, door cannot open. What caused it? Someone pushed a bug to the production? Tell me pls

Today I wrote on my door 'Do ! Disturb'
Why tf is everyone disturbing me

Even the exit door knows to get your code into source control before you leave.

ill bet you like this library 😂😈

Once my aunt asked me if I could fix her car electric lock, because I was studying IT stuff.

I thought "excuse me, what the fuck?"

I said "Sorry, never studied door stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

FML

brought my children to the childcare, went home and I am faced with A FUCKING CLOSED DOOR OF MY HOME WITHOUT ANY KEY and MY COMPANY NOTEBOOK, WALLET AND KEYS INSIDE!!! 😬

Welp. My door fell on my desk and broke it so there goes me coding.

My head hurts so much right now...

So there's a beautiful hilarious woman next door and we're getting really close (friend close), but she's 26 and she's just messing with my head so much, wtf is going off???

Have you seen the new Amazon tracking system?
It shows where the package is if it is 10 stop away. (I think 10 stops)

Now I don't have to stay at the door and freeze my balls.

Now I can see from my screen. :D

I'll bet my left nut this thing is not going to solve my issue 😞

when you make your best at code writting,responsive design, and making everything smooth but the designer get the credit " coz' the design it's what matters" really? i can't imagine browsing a static image..

Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...

Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?

When your release keeps getting pushed back to get other customer facing releases out the door, but your project is vital to every product's functionality and your just sitting there like...

$whiteWalkers = 0;
$text = 'HOLD THE DOOR';
$textLength = strlen($text);
$maxChars = 13;

while {
echo substr_replace($text, '' $maxChars/2, $textLength-$maxChars);
} do ($whiteWalkers < 8);

echo 'Hodor...':

Poor Hodor 😢

Thinking to start business
Vegetables at door step.

I have 100+ farmers in contact. Who can provide vegetables daily.

What is your view/suggestion on it.

In a previous job as a system developer I had an office with a door. Unfortunately, the boss of the company had heard of "open door"-policies, and insisted on all physical doors being open all the time so he could pop his head in unannounced every 15 minutes with random chit chat and to see how work was going... :x

Testing in a production environment is like closing a door in a to kill a snake and electricity goes off 📴

So I'm sitting down coding at home, trying to work out some problems when I hear the Doorbell ring. Obviously I shouldn't ignore it so I go to answer it.
Its the fucking FedEx delivery guy, he ALWAYS rings the doorbell, waits a solid 2 seconds after ringing then leaves. By the time I am about to answer the door he is already walking away.
HE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES THIS, in the end I'm thrown off my rhythm for nothing to go answer a door where the person ringing doesn't even have the decency to wait a few extra seconds to see if anyone comes.
This has happened to me several times now, he rings the door for no damn reason, i come running over and he is already gone.
So bloody frustrating.

Looked up "mounting children" while researching into React, not realizing other implications...🤦‍♂️ Waiting for the feds to show up at my door any moment now to take me away. 😳

Nearly amputated my middle finger by smashing it with heavy armoured door. Blood popped and splashed everywhere, as if I smashed a well fed mosquito mid-july. The nail is broken across the bottom. Finger is swolen to twice the size.

Looks like I'm gonna have a fun start on the new project next week...Unable to code 😁

when can i say " learning is finish and i know anything to make an APP"
every time i open a door i see another closed door. always there is a closed door

You thought real fear is deploying to production friday afternoon?

Hah nope.
Real fear is forgetting to flock(); a public toilet door while doing a dump();

I post riddles and puzzles outside my office door to keep people distracted before bothering me. they must answer all right before disturbing me.

Our neighbors need more toilet paper badly. I wonder if they’ll go door to ask asking people to spare a few squares next 🤔

3 weeks into a new job I learned that my predecessor (who resigned and was out the door two days after I started) didn’t know how to secure s3 buckets when all of our production image assets got replaced with elder porn.

Jury’s still out if it was actually him the whole time.

internal recruiter reaches out to me

have a good screening

reach the salary question

ask them for the range they have allocated for this role

they refuse to answer

give them a range i took off their glass door page

they're unhappy/in disbelief and then proceed to ghost my ass

welp

Years ago we hired a new employee in our department, her first week was kind of slow, she had training materials to get through but otherwise didn't have much newby work for her. I noticed she was missing one day, she wasn't at her desk or in the area training, I found her hiding behind a door playing a video game and texting on her phone. She didn't last long there. She should have asked for something to do, or asked what she could be doing, instead of sneaking off and playing on her phone.

I just installed nginx on a new server, just to find out we have visitors waiting patiently at the door. I guess they must have tried all possible route to get inside an empty room. 😏

See logs hits on 404 files...

When you are a junior with no real prior experience.

Totally uncool / don't underestimate an extra space

When coworkers think the kitchen is a place to have personal conversations and close it's door - obnoxious when you want to get a cup of coffee in the company public place .....

I prep for interviews/projects by practicing code in the steam on the shower door.

This is the poster I have on my door, in the hopes it would determine people from disturbing me and consequently taking me out of the zone and productivity streak I'm on. Sadly it does not work as often as I'd like it to 🙁 but I still love it 😆

Evaluating some WiFi ESP8266 modules. 01, 12S, 14. Programming is very simple with Arduino IDE and esp8266 community.
This iot world really excite me.
ESP-01 about 1$, oled display about 2.5$...
Project is to create my own HomeKit modules. (Relay switch, temps, garage door, etc..)

Because of some theft this year and even though we already have security cameras, my apartment building decided to check the front door locks so it's more secure.

This key looks very high tech... Only issue though is I never use the key anyway... I just entered the door code...

So what is the point of changing the locks? I'm going to guess whoever is stealing isn't picking the lock... People would notice... They must know the code.

Also it seems most of the apartment locks are digital key card/pins too. Wondering if this just means most owners are young or just are techies/devs...

I think I will post a notice on my office door that reads
"Be aware that our conversion can become a post on devRant. Request, comment and suggest at your own risk."

Dear internet providers,

Please make sure that everyone can setup routers so I don't have to stand in tons of rain waiting on somebody to open me his door because I have to stick the ******** LAN cable in the wall, which he really can't do him self....

Thank you.

which door?

Office door here is perfectly fit:

Pull - when you enter.
Push - when you leave.

Well done boys!

Well we have this hamster ....and lots of free time..so crypto??

My biggest pet peeve is whenever you're in the toilet, you know, doing a number 1, a lazy number 1, a number 2 or the combo. For most toilets, including in our workplace, its very clear that the door is locked. Usually it is either written or signified by the color red. Despite all this, you still have those people who will almost batter down the door despite being CLEARLY LOCKED.

Fucking hell, that grinds my nuts.

What accidentally you have?😂

Nice a random neighbour has my new monitor and he seems to be there but does not open their door.

FML

Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.

Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.

Old joke but we actually stuck this on our office front door.

What is this "recruiters called me after yhey found my LinkedIn" thing? Are you telling me there is a world where I don't have to go from door to door to find a job?

A few weeks ago, I was kept up until the wee hours of the morning trying to figure out how in the hell the Monty Hall problem works. After finally getting it (I'm slow, okay?), I decided to write a program to run simulations of it.

First incarnation of program took user input. User enters what door they choose (1, 2, or 3), then is told what door Monty opens, then given the decision of staying with the door they originally chose or switching, then informed how that worked out for them.

Second incarnation of program ran on a loop. At the start of each loop, a random door is picked for the user guess. Then the door Monty opens is calculated from the remaining doors (excludes user guess and prize door). Then user switches doors (choosing the door that was not their original door or the door Monty opened). At the end of each loop, if the door they switched to was the prize door, it would increment a win counter, else increment a loss counter. After running the loop 1000000000 times, it printed to console `You always switched doors, resulting in ${wins} wins and ${losses} losses`.

THEN I decided to write a variation to run a while loop on the outside of the loop to increase the number of total doors until the point where the decision to switch doors hurt more often than it helped. At this point, I decided to incorporate file I/O and write to a file rather than a console. And that was neat!

And then I decided it would be cool to go back to the three door variation, printing on each loop the original door, the door Monty opened, the door that was switched too, the result of the switch (win or lose) and what the prize door was.

But for the life of me, I couldn't seem to get the file to write properly. It would, like, always crash my terminal. I tried open + append, I tried append. I tried createWriteStream. Still just failure.

And then I changed it to an appendFileSync and happened to look at one of the files that I was writing to. "Huh, over a gig seems a lot."

"Well, how much are you writing each loop? Did you forget to keep in mind how many bytes that would be?"

TLDR: If you're going to write a program that's going to write data to a file on a loop, you might want to figure out how much it's going to end up writing .... before trying to run it. And running a loop 1000000000 times may be a little excessive.

*face palm*

The sound of drills next door... Drilling your brain.

I have this guy at work who does pranks constantly, mostly towards his supervisor. Some of his more memorable ones:

- Placed a ballon at the wall behind the door + stuck a needle to the door in his supervisors office
- Hid a small speaker playing "happy birthday" nonstop inside the roof of his office
- Placed a box full of golf balls in our site manager's mail shelf, carved a hole in the box and waited.
- Threw an orange (yes, actual orange) at his supervisor, and hit him in the throat. Entertaining for everyone but them.

I love when a PM makes a big deal to get their own office but then takes personal calls with the door open. On speaker phone. To his wife with 3 screaming kids in the background. While everyone is trying to work. Fml. Just let me code in peace.

Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.

0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report

This is a well approved method.
It always works!

I have my personal motivator @YourNemesis to help me through the days when my self-motivation doesn't work at all.

I usually try and identify the reason for low motivation or no motivation at all, then talk myself through it and remind myself of my goals and what I want for myself. My goals motivate me.

I also have different motivational quotes/one liners up on my room's door and my cupboards door. Attaching an image of one such things that I wrote by myself and looking at it works for me on highly unproductive days. Hope this approach helps to some of you guys too on here.

If chuck Norris was an IT guy.

The amount of icons on my Desktop is directly related to my likelihood of leaving a company. If I stop caring enough for my entire Desktop to fill up, then my foot is already out the door.

Sick of my colleagues letting the door slam right behind my head when they leave.

To those that put the wrong answer first in their post, I know already where you live, open the door and wait to save us both time and hassle, I'll fucking pulverize you across the fucking wall.

The dreaded day has come were me eldest daugther now has boy attention coming to the door - but wait whats this ... hes a programmer and a tad bit of a nerd .... seems i raised you well sweet child

Hiring manager: "Our open office plan is great, we collaborate all the time!"

*Goes into office, shuts door*

Update from mg previous rant.

The person who was supposed to set up the home internet arrived before the time frame forced upon us, they gave him the wrong number to call and he apparently waited a whole hour ringing at the door (which I call bullshit, because I was waiting on the couch close to the door in advance.)

Time to inform myself if I can legally send them an invoice for the lost work hours

I've converted an empty bedroom in my house into an office and close the door when i code. when i finally leave my dungeon, my dogs are always laying down in front of the door, tails all a'waggin.

It happened with a company that makes the audio Codecs for Apple (you guessed it right).
It was supposed to be the most pleasant interview ever but not exactly. Here's the thing, the interview went so well that the HR explained all the benefits for its employees and handed me a copy of a leaflet containing so. In the end, as they were walking me to the door, the HR lady told me "you are staying here, you don't have to look anymore" as they were walking me to the door.

Well, everything I did from my end was perfect. Thank you emails and follow-ups blah blah. But not a single answer from their end regarding any decision.
This was the worst feeling to me.

True that...

!rant

I fuckin love technology man.

Whenever I'm walking up to my apartment I can turn my lights, tv and Xbox on AND even have the game I want to play loaded up before I unlock the door.

! dev. I had to pick up a parcel at lunchtime. Coming out of the shop, there was a parking enforcement officer (what we used to call traffic wardens) standing in front of the door, fiddling with his ticket machine, blocking my exit.

"Excuse me, you can't park there", I said.

He wasn't very amused, miserable bastard.

This is the hotel room's door for the transfer for me and my device college

This Halloween we didn't get anyone turning up at the door.

I wonder if it's because last time we gave them apples?

At least their parents were happy 🎃

It's not every day that a client reports his Website as completely down. But when they do, it's always just as I was walking out the door...

So when someone rings at my door the music volume is set to zero and the previous volume is cached to restore it ten seconds later. When then this person rings another time within this 10 seconds, the zero volume is cached an the fun begins.

*slamms door open*
*screams as loud as he can*
"FREE FONT DOWNLOAD"
Wait what?

*screaming even louder*
"FREE SATORI SANS FONT DOWNLOAD IT BELOW"

Wtf stop screaming.

*b2plane opens the door*:

Selenium is the worst thing happened to me this month...

Cats code in the night because C# in the dark.

**it's 17:47*"**
Dev: Hi manager I have those 13 tasks on me and I won't finish on time.
Manager: Well all those items needs to be finished on Time, how YOU are going to resolve it?
Dev:😵😵😭😤🥺
Manager: there is additional defect to check please take it on priority ,it a real easy one , I'll do it my self in 5 min but I'm too busy
Dev: ETA?
Manager : by the end of the day.
Dev: Well it's already end of the day.
Manager: Exactly, I knew I can count on you .
Dev:🥺🥺🧐
****Next day *****
Manager: Hey sorry to call you on your cell but I see there were no progress on yesterday issue.
Dev : Sorry Manager I'm sick.
Manager : O.K feel well (🤬)
Dev : thank you so much (😎fk you asshole😎)

*random person in tram witha huge backpack* let's stand in the middle of the fking door, with my backpack towards the door so I clearly can't see if anyone is trying to get into the tram.

What the fuck is wrong with you? There is tons of space and even seats free what the actuall fuck just move along already! Jeez. What's wrong with people! At least stand at the side or something.
That's a new kind of shit. Don't get to see this every day.

Title earned: "Figlio del capo" - "The boss' son"
Earned by oversleping literally next door, because you forgot to set up an alarm.

Even though my presence wasn't really required today 🤷‍♂️

our website got hacked somebody downloaded the whole source code and sent an email to us.
seems like that person would demand ransom or anything.
We still can't find where is the door ( vulnerability ) through which he pulled all files.

Deadline in 24 work hours, for a in-house product to automate payment processing.

Why in 24 hours you say? , Me and the accounting guy is going on vacation on Friday.

Will it go into production on Friday evening while I'm going through the door?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oops accidentally created this Angular component in the wrong directory. Better run the Ng command to remove the component so I don't need to remove the files and references in app.module.ts otherwise it would take an annoying amount of time to track down the right lines there and it also opens the door to human error!

......shit

Stories from a Startup #2

One day our CEO stormed through the office, going door-to-door holding a cease-and-desist notice he got from our ISP because someone decided to pirate "Chappie" at work.

Definitely wasn't me. 👀 Don't know if he found out who did it, though... but we all certainly knew.

Get dressed up before her parents open the door.

Whenever i see a door with Push sign, I Pull first to avoid conflicts...

Opening of the door!

Living next door to Alice - "ALICE! WHO THE FUCK IS ALICE?"

sry, actually not a rant

Not joining the weekly rant.
But had a haunted dream last night and it was definitely weird.

Dreamed that I was at my childhood house and opened the door of my room. Found literally nothing. Just empty room. Got scared (for whatever reason) and run to my mom. Came back to the room with her. Opened the door. Everything was in it's place; bed, chair, table etc.

I didn't watch any scary movie for the past few months. There was one scary dream few months/weeks ago and I wrote about it. And now this. 🤔

Rage ? at work ?
my employer says I'm already toxic and ungrateful. If i get a third bad adjective ill be out of the door !

Judging by the work load and type im getting these days id say they are trying to get me to open that door and leave myself.

Hell, i would love to if i were not being ghosted by other companies or offered less compensation

1. Coming everyday with passion to solve a problem.
2. Pay is very good
3. Last and most important..
When you are a coder you have the privilege not to comunicated verbally to anyone as long as you like.
The job becomes the quit place if you want to.

Just woke up after a 1/2 hour nap at work, on my desk chair. I was woke up by someone who violently closed a door in another room. Uuh... Need some sleep

Good old dear me sitting comfortably and writing some code...
Suddenly, the doorbell rings!!!
"One moment! Coming!", I shout...
I proceed going to the hall, take the keys from the table right next to me and I unlock the door...
I open it and there's only thin air in front me. Downstairs I hear the building door closing and the elevator working its way up, higher than my floor...
I close the door and I go back to my desk, resuming my work and thinking:
"I don't know who are, I don't care who you are, but I will find you and I will make you pay..."

Now my coding train of thought has stopped! Thanks, unknown doorbell ringer!!!

Today is senior prank day. This was on the computer science door

How to torture developers:
Step 1: put a cookiefactory next door.

Give me your legacy, your undocumented,
Your huddled classss yearning to be bug free,
The wretched security holes of your multiple backdoors.

Send these, the testless, spaghetti-code to me,
I lift my keyboard beside the golden door!

About 15h...
8:00 - 23:00 with a 10 min break in between to go get some food from the store next door..

Because stuff was promised to the customer and we were told about it on the previous day...

The customer needed it before Christmas, so we delivered on the 24th at 11pm.

As someone who has just finished a foundation degree in computer science, I'm really wanting to get 'my foot in the door' with the IT industry to start building my career that I'm so passionate about, but I just don't know where to start. Any recommendations in what level of jobs I should apply for/where to begin?

Revenge of the developer.
After our project consultants aren't good at planning projects I started my revenge. They will get soon a heart attack or paranoia...
Every time I need something from them (cause they missed it in the specs) and see them at the end of the floor. I stealth in their room and stand behind their door. When they are sitting, the door is closing mystically and I step to them. The faces are hilarious. That's my way to teach them to write better Specs :)

It's so goddamn hard to get work on freelancer, upwork, people per hour sites when you're just starting, how are you meant to get your foot in the door when nobody fives you chance!

As a user I want to fart before some one opens the door.
As a user I want to wait if someone farted.
As a admin I want to see who farted.

Does anyone else get annoyed with tasks like that? So much unnecessary words.

Bla bla bla do this bla bla bla

A few friends and I on our way home from a hackathon:

Lady at the door of the airplane:
*sees our hack the north lanyards*
Lady: "Oh where are we coming from? Hack the North? That means if we have any wifi problems onboard you can help us out right?

Us: ... suuureee

When entering a one-holer restroom, someone didn't lock the door, and you have already seen more than you wanted to see. What are your options to react?

1. Say "excuse me" and quickly leave.
2. Chew them out loudly as you walk out.
3. Make really loud horse noises and leave.
4. Use the sink.

I have had this happen to me twice at my current work place. Now, when opening the door I have this procedure:

1. Open door a crack to see if the room light is on.
2. If light is on wait a few seconds for audible notification of occupation.
3. If unoccupied continue to enter.

If you are in the one-holer using the restroom and someone tries the door you also have options:

1. Stay silent Dark Brotherhood style.
2. Laugh maniacally really loudly.
3. If door opens scream like a girl.

name: ash williams
weapon of choice: chainsaw hand

name: john rambo
weapon of choice: heavy machine gun

name: kiki
weapon of choice: teleport behind you, create a door leading who knows where, drag you in, close the door shut, make it disappear into nowhere

How tell me apart from the other departments?

It's so cold inside my office it creates fucking WIND when you open my door

My computer science professor didn't allowed to sit me in class when I reached just 5 mins late..He always closes the door of the class as soon as he enters..how rude?Give me suggestions what should I do?

Today I am an awesome because the major Ruby upgrade went out the door to production with zero downtime. What makes you badass today?

So this new guy keeps commenting on the fact that I drink the ‘free’ instant coffee instead of the 3$ coffee from the shop next door..

LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Client with little bit of sense, issues in emails only through technical support, not a knock on my door while I code. Repeat

The account manager who only appears when a problem arises comes into the room.

I can tell apart the majority of my office by the sound of their footsteps and the way they open the door.

Fml why'd I have to forget my RFID card at work, now I have to wait outside the door like an idiot