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Java devs: grab a drink! You'll need it after seeing this.
The "Shit students do, even after almost a year of Java lectures" saga continues...
46 -
Don’t drink and code. Definitely don’t drink and commit. Absolutely don’t drink and push to master at 4:55 on a Friday.3
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Dear fellow devs, I would like to remind you to get up and drink a glass of water once in a while.
At least drink enough so that your pee is clear. Just trying to look out for you guys.15 -
If you have to program in JavaScript, don't forget to drink water. Excessive crying could dehydrates your body very quickly.3
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My first programming job started at a fairly small gamming company. We were pretty close because we were so small and sometimes jokes were a bit too personal. Anyway, during my 3 months probation period, the team lead invited the whole company at his house for a party. Long story short, I got wasted, and when the CEO arrived I went to him and told him something like: Yo dawg, let's drink, don't be a pu**y. The sad part is that I cannot remember doing that and apparently I shouted outloud. I had some pretty interesting meetings the next days. Came too close to being fired 😅.4
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Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out
Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing5 -
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, inn, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drink, drinks, beer, alcohol...
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While(alive)
{
Work();
Eat();
If(payday)
{
GetPaid();
PayBills();
}
Drink();
CrySelfToSleep();
}
WaveToLucifer();14 -
Day three of trying to get WiFi working. No end in sight. Temperatures are rising, water is scarce; must drink rum for sustenance.23
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Today I've been mocked by a fucking coffee machine.
So I was at a small train station, everything was already closed except for a small coffee machine
Dumb I, for whatever fucking reason, decided it'd be a great idea to get a highly overpriced cup there.
Now, the fucker made me the drink but instead of giving change, it started "shooting" coins in my direction (there was no flap on change box)
As I'm picking up my change, this abomination of a machine performs a cleanup, spitting some shit into my drink
I couldnt drink it obviously .. threw the overprices drink away, bought another one... Got shot with coins again... Whata pain... Just to figure out... There's no more cups 😭😭
It made the drink into the tray...
AaaAaAAAaaaaAAA
Fml4 -
I code, drink, and from Java (yes it's an actual place). Except my life doesn't run on JVM. Or does it?5
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I am programmer for over 1 year and still don't drink coffee and other alcoholic drinks to be energetic😅36
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>monster energy drink
>brutal dubstep
>neon green keyboard&mouse
>sick 4k 21:9 monitor
>
>contemplating killing all my coworkers2 -
Walk into work.
Sit at desk.
Open Outlook.
*Sees 3 meeting invites for today*
...This is why I drink...4 -
My Father's day gift from my wife. 😁
Should make my application development a little more badass as I drink from it.
\m/
2 -
I drink hoping that one day I’ll invent something when I’m drunk bcz drunk me is smarter than sober me.
4 -
When you discover #C0FFEE is not a drink but a color.
(Sadly it's not brown but a strange light green)3 -
Reciepe for cold coffee:
1. Make Coffee
2. Start Coding
3. Forget you made coffee
4. Drink it cold5 -
So how is your Friday?
Well let me tell ya, fixed a production issue and I'm totally exhausted and to top it off my girlfriend broke up with me.
I need a fucking drink!5 -
there are more kinds of programmers :
the ones that drink coffee
the ones that drink alcohol
and there's me eating sunflower seeds12 -
I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.
-
This happens more often than I care to admit.
I take a coffee, then I drink a sip.
Because it's too hot I put him aside.
Start working
Lose track of everything around me
Then when I am no longer distracted by the stupid bullshit line of code that I was stuck at, I go to drink the coffee and is FUCKING COLD!!!!!6 -
!dev
T-32min
Long story short:
I dont have many friends, I'm isolated in my home, for the first time in 25 years I actually felt like my birthday is worth celebrating but Im alone because corona.
Therefore I'd like to ask you to drink a glass of your good (or other) booze at 23:00UTC (Which is midnight here) to celebrate the first bday party I never had and to celebrate DevRant as a great community and each of you, the members.22 -
Hydrogen gas is fun. Really fun :D
Me and my brother were really bored earlier today. So what do two dudes, 14 and 17 do on a warm spring day?
1. Go to store.
2. Buy drain cleaner, aluminum foil, balloons and a big drink in a glass bottle.
3. Drink the drink.
4. Shred aluminum in a document shredder.
5. Mix alu, drain cleaner and water in the bottle.
6. Quickly put a balloon over the bottle opening.
7. Wait.
8. Get a lighter and blow that shit up! 🔥
9. Repeat until you run out of balloons.
10. Don't kill yourself doing this.7 -
Who says all bugs are bad? Vending machine at work only charges you a dollar regardless what drink you buy if you use android pay.1
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Being able to drink coffee (nope no decaf) including espresso's without my heart complaining. Idk that taste always gives me a boost!15
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My use of linux could legally drink now, in the US. And even after 21 years, I still love it more all the time.2
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Drinking game: everytime someone ++/comments/mentions you on devrant , drink half a pint.
Of coffe
-Said Linuxer4fun, 1421 -
Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.2 -
I think someone puts roofies in my energy drink every morning, because recruiters contact me about positions I don't remember applying for.9
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Protip: don't drink gin and try to install stuff on a client's NAS while logged in as root.
Thank god I changed my mind and decided to do this another time...3 -
I prefer to work while everyone is asleep, drink black coffee, low-fi music, and find a way to appreciate what I'm working on.1
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A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically1
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who pops open a 500ml can of energy drink at 01:00 am because we have 3 websites to deliver on Thursday? We do 😎
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4:04pm
I decided to forego working and made a drink.
I'm also making dinner, hence the time discrepancy.
It's an adios, motherfucker. But I don't have (and wouldn't use) 7up, and forewent sour mix in favor of lemon&lime juice and sparkling cider.
It's aoibhinn and craic
táim ag meisce 😊
Wheeeee4 -
When you can code amazing things but can't cook to feed yourself or remember to drink enough water in a day.
1 -
Headphones, a quiet room, a comfortable chair, something to drink (coffee, red bull, water, tea) and something that is interesting enough to totally focus on.4
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By the way, did anyone ever went to hospital because drinking too much coffee? I drink it, you drink it, we drink it, but I'm seriously worried sometimes about my heart and blood pressure.13
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Just got Caffiene/energy drink vapes and they work like a charm within like five minutes. Productivity 💯 sleep 035
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Drink. Coffee.
I always make sure I learn something new everyday even just small bits of information. -
Fun game: find a random tech meme/joke and search it in google with "site:devrant.com". If you find it - you drink4
-
There is a special place in hell for people who drink the last of the coffee and don't make a new pot!3
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Myself
The place is poorly run, I drink beer at my desk in secret or worse have tantrums like a 2 year. -
Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.
Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.
Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.
I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.
Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"3 -
Sat in a 4 hours "strategic" planning meeting on a Saturday.! The kinda stuff that makes me want to drink this:
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These two liters of water one should drink per day sound like a lot.
However, four pints go down faster than a hookers panties after she's been paid...8 -
Do not drink a lot of alcohol when you are severely dehydrated.
Much regret.
Must find rag to fill with cold water, wring out, and place over eyes to reacquire that sweet, sweet unconsciousness.
Unrelated, if I haven’t told y’all that you should never Chumbawamba, you should never Chumbawamba. I did it once in uni and it was a super bad time. (Chumbawamba is what I call using Tubthumping as an instruction set. Do not take a whisky drink, then a vodka drink, than a lager drink, then a cider drink, etc etc.)6 -
I stopped drinking soda. I talked to a colleague last week. He said artificial sweeteners in general have a higher risk of cancer. So I did my own research and found this to not only be true, but drinking sugared sodas also carries a risk. WTF?! Somebody else pointed out that "everything" causes cancer these days. But I don't want the sugar and I don't want my body producing methanol and then formaldehyde.
This week I am doing coffee and water only. I got some nice fresh bottled water and added some lemon juice to the water. Then I proceeded to drink the water. At first I was WTF is wrong with my water!? Then I realized I had put lemon juice in there.11 -
# Don't like ice coffee
# not in a mood for hot drink
# but I need coffee
Most difficult decision
🤦9 -
I have this awesome StackOverflow mug, but I don't drink coffee. Or any hot beverages for that matter :(
2 -
DRINKING GAME.
Start package installation in any NodeJS based project.
Drink every time you see a deprecation notice.4 -
How I work:
I drink lots of coffee and pass out for 12 hours.
It’s like alcoholism, just less productive.28 -
I really dont like Coffee maschines that serve the Coffee Drink ready. If i want Coffee i want it hot as shit4
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An app that determines the users interests and location to find hot spot places to eat, drink, visit and more.4
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A wise man once said.
A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again.1 -
There are 2 types of developers. The hot drink ones ☕️ and the cold drink ones(CocaCola, Redbull...). Which one are you?12
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Just got my collector's edition Assassin's Creed soft drink cups!!! Didnt have to watch the movoe though .. went for another movie and got these!!
3 -
I have a feeling that one of the most valuable skills I have yet to learn is the ability to drink coffee.
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Does anybody else drink strong coffee in order to actually get RID of a headache? It works for me....but now I've got to continually drink coffee every few hours for the rest of my life.10
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Anyone in South West Kansas looking to grab a drink? Lol, I fucking can't with my (l)users today...3
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Where's my Monster?! Why's it in the trash can, I swear I didn't drink it that fast. Damn you Illuminati!!!3
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These guys. I drink a lot of water (I stopped drinking coffee so I had to replace it with something).
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Caffeine is crucial but I’m trying to moderate it! What good does it do if you have to drink 5 cups of coffee everyday to feel normal! I drink coffee like Hobbits eat! Breakfast coffee, second breakfast coffee, elevensies coffee, lunch coffee, onesies coffee...2
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Thanks @xzvf my desk is now accurate because the only two things I drink are coffee and redbull ♥️6
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Fck I can't sleep again. I'll just drink coffee and code again. This pandemic destroyed my body clock!
9 -
Looks like Comcast gave me my reason to drink today. Apparently they are going to implement data caps for my region next month -_-2
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game of dice becomes interesting when the number you score is the PH number of a liquid you have to drink afterwards13
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function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}
// I don't drink Redbull daily4 -
*finished lunch*
*ready to go drink coffee*
*coffee machine was taken away for replacement*
...
WHY WERE YOU TAKEN AWAY? YOU WERE WORKING PERFECTLY 😭😭1 -
Sitting in my beautiful chalet on this beautiful park. My garden nicely mowed. Sun in shining. Was in the zone the whole day. Now it's time to shift some gears and fetch some desperado's (will pass out after three probably, didn't drink for long time). Walk towards neighbor and drink together.
Life can be so beautiful14 -
My favorite item imported all the way from the Netherlands. best drink ever. love using my soda stream to turn it into a soda :)
8 -
3 exams over, only two left. One pretty easy and one pretty stupid one. But atleast I can have a drink in the meantime 😋
-
We had late night work... So our seniors thought of going out for drinks and asked us to join!!
We beeing the interns, bill was all on them ;)
Had fun...2 -
I am trapped at Dave and Busters with a bunch of kids. I can't drink cause I have to drive them home.
-
I think I need more human interaction .... Anyone want a drink ?
Maybe not the best place to ask... I'll go to a bar -
Two words, red bull.
I dont drink coffee often or drink it otherwise, so it gives a real kicker to the old brain.4 -
I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 101 -
I'm 17 and I already have a coffee problem!! I drink 5 to 6 cups of coffee a day!! I need to slow down..12
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I'm an alcoholic and a programmer. I don't drink when I'm programming so that I can focus. Programming is therefore good for my health.4
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so.. I took a drink tonight, and finished watching some devRant posts about alcohol and some funny stories..
whats wrong with u guys 😂1 -
Has anyone ever coded drank? Did you break anything? I mostly drink a glass of whisky whenever I solve a bug that tortured me...3
-
What's your coding drink?
Personally: Anise or thyme tea or a large Cappucino because you know this brain need some premium fuel to work 😂26 -
Srsly, who the fuck using internet explorer or edge in 2018??? I wanna drink a coffee with them while talking about mental disorders.4
-
WK34:
Good metal (Dio, Maiden, Nightwish).
Something to drink, something to eat.
Air.
Over-thr-ear headphones.
Sublime Text.1 -
So a SQL server walks into a bar to grab a drink. He gets his drink and spots a table with two people sitting down with a spare chair. So he walks up to them and says "Hey, can I JOIN you two?"1
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Alright, anyone ranting about politics/censorship rn needs to take a break, eat some food, drink some coffee, and get back to work damnit.2
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Why the best developers That I know work for someone that doesn't have any knowledge about programming. Anyway let's drink1
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So a co-worker just spilt his drink over the power sokets and now I'm going home. Hurray for desktops!
-
Don't drink and CTF
I feel boiling right now after immense pressure and pouring all my energy for this -
Fellow developers. I would like to know on average how much coffee we drink during the day. Can we fill a pool with that?8
-
To be honest, I've never been drunk. Really, teenagers couldn't be drunk, yeah? Only thing I drink is a lot of coffee, yerba, and tea. Never drink yerba before you're going to sleep. That could end with another sleepless night in front of your laptop. Also, never drink yerba in public, some may call you hipster, some may call you gay. But I still don't know what homosexual thing is in yerba.4
-
So apparently coffee is healthy, drink that shit black everyday or go home #TeaAintShit
https://youtube.com/watch/...11 -
public String findHappiness()
{
if(EverythingOk)
return “Drink Beer”;
else if(EverythingNotOk)
return “Drink Beer”;
else
return “Drink Beer”;
}1 -
10 hours in office. 4 hours in traveling. This is 6 days a week... and today is bang bang Sunday.. drink and get high.. 😁
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Wsl with docker. Wtf! Why don’t you work? Ops has destroyed my machine today. Time to drink.
I no longer give a fuck.3 -
"If you wanna study some real java shit, drink coffee and take laxatives"
~ Michael Quessenberry c.2017
2 -
What do you drink while you're programming?
Don't say "coffee, energy drinks", post the model/type.
I'm from Spain, and usually I drink this: http://coffee.wikia.com/wiki/...28 -
Bonus semi dev related sin:
Unless it's piping hot I'll leave my coffee to get cold and then drink it. -
Okay so there's lots of posts regarding coffee... I don't actually drink coffee, does this mean I can't be a dev anymore?6
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My life:
Int main(nothing){
while(1){
drink(beer);
code(c);
sleep(the_next_time);
}
return 0;
}
/* compile error -infinite loop found- */ -
Debugging buddy: stuffed php uniphant
Debugging drink: pipping hot tea
Debugging stick: chocolate bar1 -
Just when you are about to quit
notification bell goes "Ntiiingggg...."
check messages...
message from the bank....
Client just dumped $$$ in there
...... shiiit
drink more energy drink
more coffee.....
more sleepless nights -
Some rhythmic psytrance or full-on.
That's basically everything I need to good into semi-flow state.
Sometimes an energy drink can give additional kick. -
Shred some waves at the local break and drink some salt water in the process! That's my way to get unstuck.
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I am like a person who hates to drink water from a steel vessal, because he always got experience of getting a shitty drink in a dirty steel vessal. But whenever i got a chance to drink from a beautiful glass or gold cup, I immediately fucked up and dropped it on my foot
(cup/ vessal == company)3 -
Last day my coffee ran out and i could not drink coffee. Now i've got that without coffee coding skill willbe disappear,,,2
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I drink enough water to be hydrated, throw on some random rock playlist or System of A Down album & I'm in the mood.
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