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"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"
"I am an experienced data protection manager"
"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"
"No"
"Your email address?"
"No"
"You're hired"4 -
That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.
I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!
Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡20 -
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, lounge, pub, tavern, night club, mini bar, drinks.5
-
The moment you realize you're just good at googling and not an expert in programming...
That's when the internet connectivity is down!5 -
When I was looking for an internship...
- Hello, I noticed your cv and you have a great portfolio! Are you familiar with responsive design?
- I have a basic knowledge on that, i am not an expert.
- Ok, can you come for an interview on Monday?
-Sure
Monday morning....
Interview with CEO...
- What's your experience with responsive design?
- I have a basic knowledge on that, i am not an expert.
- Sorry I need someone expert
- But the job is for junior dev and it's an internship
- Yes but man hours of someone to training you will be a cost for me.
- Ok, thank you
(Step before closing the door)Btw you should had check my portfolio, 4/8 websites are responsive.4 -
"I became an expert in 3 programming languages in 6 months with this new online course! Click here to order now!!"2
-
Sorry John Doe, you're application for this job has been rejected. As we specified for this job you need to know about GitHub. In your CV you stated that you are an expert in git but our job requires the knowledge of hub as well. Good luck next time10
-
Guns should be illegal. Otherwise I swear I'll end up shooting someone the next time they ask me to "implement this feature, it will only take 5 mins".
Those who don't know programming should keep their "expert advice" to themselves6 -
Computer Science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter
- Eric S. Raymond -
A developer's worst nightmare is having amnesia.
Imagine being an expert in 6 programming languages and you suddenly lost your memory.
YOU'RE IN DESTINATION FUCKED ALREADY.5 -
I’m a graphs designer, hardware expert, free software generator, marketing evangelist, networking wizard, and troubleshooter bot9
-
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, inn, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drink, drinks, beer, alcohol...
-
In programming what is the difference between an expert programmer and a noob??
- they both Google when they're stuck but expert knows what he's searching for and noob learns about what he's searching for!!9 -
that time when a client wants you to teach a bird how to fly.
but the bird is a penguin
and you are a bear expert
"but it has wings!"10 -
When you think you're an "expert". 😛
Found this on a Medium article.
“Self-taught Software Developers: Why Open Source is important to us”
https://medium.com/rocknnull/...
2 -
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol.1
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Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.
Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.
Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.7 -
Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!1 -
I dont trust people who have LinkedIn tagline with any of these combinations.
Blockchain
Machine learning
Artificial Intelligence
Expert
Mentor
Advisor
CTO
Startup9 -
So apparently someone discovered an exploit in iOS devices which would make shitloads of devices jailbreakable and it can't be updated due to the chip being read-only.
I'm not an expert on this by far but hereby a source:
https://idownloadblog.com/2019/09/...
Again, I'm not an expert on this but it does seem awesome that a lot of devices (if I read it correctly) are jailbreakable now (when someone developed one with this exploit)!37 -
Just spoke with a guy who considers himself a PC expert.
He: You can always recover your offline data from your PC, even if you burn it.
Me: You just need to remove your hard drive.
He: Even if you remove your hard disk, offline data can be recovered from from RAM memory.
Me: WTF?? * Trying to explain him that RAM is a volatile memory*
He: Yeah but you can recover it from the BIOS.
Me: r u serius right now??
And I can continue, because we've unfortunately talked for about an hour.
Why these people consider themselves experts and why the fuck do they have to teach you things that the don't know. FML5 -
Please, if you're recruiting a freshly graduated or junior developper, DO NOT ask him to be a fucking expert in whatever field or tech you're looking for.2
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Our professor in our college deliberately makes a mistake in the program and ask people how it happened.
If someone solves it he complements them and it really makes them feel motivated.
I think he is the best professor 😊😊4 -
A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**1 -
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
Me: gotcha3 -
How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
2. Profit!
I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!6 -
Those who do not remember history are doomed to have serious backward compatibility problems. -- Expert C Programming2
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On my first dev job ever, I got sent to the client's office after studying CSS on my own for 2 weeks.
Client: "So, you're the great expert your manager told me about?"1 -
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
3 -
Fun is, when you get to fix the front-end made by a "front-end expert" consisting of bootstrap and a single "custom.css" of 3800 lines.
Peak sadism. 🤡15 -
Every day I feel like Dr. Leonard McCoy.
"I'm an automation expert, not a ..."
* DBA
* ElasticSearch administrator
* Kafka Architect
* Email marketing specialist
* SEO Analyst
* Front end developer
* Doctor
* Project manager
* Accountant8 -
Rubber duck didn't understand code. So decided to use the expert for Android.
Meet Little Buggy.
P. S. I have 2 more, makes a complete family! 😀
4 -
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1 -
So...
I'm looking for my first job as a web developer. I kept seeing these rants about how horrible and frustrating job searching is, all of which I thought were greatly exaggerated. They're all just jokes and memes, right?
Nope.
Every fucking meme seems to be true.
- Junior developer with +4 years of experience, expert in their field - check!
- Listing requirements for 6 different jobs under "Full-stack developer" - check!
- "Expert developer required ASAP" - $10/hour - check!
- 100% remote ... *scrolls all the way down* ... for 2 days of the week - check!
- Entry level font-end position - must be an expert in Vue, Angular, React, AWS, Drupal, Wordpress, PHP, Python, ES9+, OOP, TDD, BDD - check!
- "Cool" description written in js code with no indentation - check!
And I'm not seeing these every once in a while or something like that. No. Most of the posts are like this. I thought I may just be underqualified since I've never had a real job before, but this just seems crazy to me...4 -
*describes problem that a system doesn't work behind an nginx proxy, routing to another nginx instance*
*some random "expert" jumps in*
hurrdurr: It works behind nginx proxy, with APACHE, I don't even get why you would want to run nginx behind nginx omg9 -
Don't lie in your resume or in the interview.
People know you're not an expert at everything, nobody expects that from anybody (and you should really avoid working for anybody who does)2 -
Rant! ✋😜👍
When a rookie is trying so hard to behave like she is a god damn expert in programmng! 😏🙊🙈
2 -
Me: * Has roughly 1.5 years of PHP experience *
LinkedIn recruiter: Hello Java expert with lots of Oracle enterprise experience, wanna call?6 -
Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:
Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.
Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.
Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.
Sheeit.6 -
Me: Decentralized, Transparent, Immutable, Trustless ...
Host: Please give a big round of applause for Blockchain industry expert!2 -
There's no such thing as an expert programmer. With time you just get different kinda errors. As long as you're not getting same error, you're making progress.1
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Imagine if programming languages were also written in different regional languages like Java in german,hindi,spanish.
Recruiters will reject you by saying u don't know java in Spanish.We need a java expert in Spanish.😁😁13 -
TLDR Question:
When do you consider yourself an expert at a language?
More details: there is a really cool Data Science internship opening up near me that I want so badly it physically hurts me, but it asks for expert level knowledge of python, Java, or R.
I’ve only been studying R and Java for like 3 months, and Python for about 8 months, so I’m obviously no expert. When exactly does someone reach that threshold, though? When did you realize you were an expert at a language?13 -
I couldn't figure out why my server went down all of a sudden.This seems suited for this week's rant.
Expert fullstack solutions architect here.
3 -
After 30 years in IT industry, I am not sure if I'm a novice or an expert. I don’t know anything.13
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Saw this job post a while back:
Junior front-end developer
Expert level in: html, css, js, python, c++....
So i tried to tell them, a guy like this dont exsist6 -
They made more of those "The Expert" client parody skits (the seven red lines ones)! https://youtube.com/playlist/...
3 -
My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
Genius! xD
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3 -
When you are finish doing the UI of the app then your UI/UX expert suddenly want to change everything, because he/she saw much cooler ui in the pinterest. The Horror!2
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An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr41 -
I'm not an expert but if you site takes 5 seconds to navigate a step BACKWARDS, consider it inefficient af.1
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I'm the git expert at my work. This means every time someone has the slightest issue with git (or the git features in their ide), I get interrupted.
😡😡😡
Also I will say it is fascinating watching people who've used centralised version control all their lives struggle with distributed.
"Do you have my changes? I merged them into your branch..."
"You can commit and not push?!"9 -
Linkedin hunter per excellence. They are looking for “an experienced Expert for a position as Junior IT Consultant“.
Well, I have some experience, but someone should really explain them the concept of being a Junior Expert...5 -
Saw a job posting today for an EXPERT React Native Developer.
At least they didn't ask for years of experience Lol3 -
When the so called "css expert" ask you why you're implementing so many things in @media all and (max-width: 800px) because it "doesn't change anything"
I had to teach him about responsive web design and chrome developer tools mobile emulation...3 -
It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.
Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)
And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.
Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?
5 -
“Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.” − Eric S. Raymond4
-
When you pay money to Facebook to advertise yourself as SEO expert, but are unable to even properly optimize your own website.. 😬 🤷♂️
2 -
Love when the client knows more than you and tells you to create a report on an imaginary tool they are 100% sure it exists because their friend is an SEO expert and thinks all pages should be running at a 100 percent on lighthouse. Fml.2
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@Baguette is apparently a professional sleeper, please teach me, I need an expert in this domain, I can't stand going to work with barely 4~ hours of sleep / night
5 -
Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.
We need time travel asap!2 -
"What? You aren't sure where the Android Wifi credentials QR Code scanner is specifically located? But.. Aren't you the expert?" Trying not to freaking boil my blood right now.5
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FUCK MY LIFE!
MY DEPARTMENT IS IN SEARCH OF 3 PYTHON DEVS (1 expert, 2 "normal") FOR DEVELOPING AUTOMATIC THINGS!!! I would seriously apply because it's like my first dev job without having attended University.
But only for two years... After that I have to reapply for my old job.. but it's two (expert 3) salary groups up from mine...
What to do?
Also fuck python but I would learn it for God's sake18 -
!rant
Thanks google for giving me the opportunity to work with neural networks without being an expert about them.
http://automl.github.io/auto-sklear...
To sum it up:
1. Preprocess data
2. Use Automl to train classifier
3. ????
4. Profit1 -
Ad hiring in Iran:
we need a Backend developer who is expert in React, js, scss, and you should have at least 5 years experience in DevOps.
and priority with girls.3 -
I like coding. I am a professional coder. But I feel I am not very good at it. My colleagues are so creative and fast with their solutions. And here I am, always in awe and never seem to feel like becoming an expert in coding. The thoughts are tiring 😪6
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Manager: Oh I also forgot, we also have a red balloon... do you know if you could inflate it?
Dev (the EXPERT): ...4 -
!rant
Have to do some JS for a web application.
Problem is I'm not a JS expert at all, and there is already existing code.
Gonna be long.
Gimme your energy so I can do it \o/11 -
Ever had that meeting where it's expected that you will solve cold fusion, catch rainbows and violate the laws of thermodynamics? Just because you are an expert in your field?
Also beautifully demonstrated here:
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg3 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
Started new job at startup and finished all the development environment setup started development it was going smooth for one week.all the created API were working fine on the next day morning without any changes API's were giving cors error.asked my senior what must be the problem he said bypass cors and figure out the problem after trying for 1hrs i couldn't figure out what was the problem but API's were back to normal without any changes. then after sometime same day in zoom call i asked what was the problem he said show me the error but I couldn't reproduced the same cors error he then lectured me for 1 hrs and after that he said that learn to solve by your own dont come with silly mistake like this to me.
I don't know what was the problem he even refused me show to what the problem was.6 -
Well, they are just fucking kidding
Unix guru on entry level... That moment, when you realise that client is too lazy to pick option intermediate or expert, but expects somebody to do evetything
5 -
I have developed 3 apps so far in laravel and I can say I'm in a mid level between beginner and expert.
But every time I set up a new laravel environment I feel like this is the first time I see laravel.5 -
I just fucking hate android studio it takes 15-30 minute just to load on my machine . can't they just make the whole ide available through browser 😞19
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That moment when you're hired as expert of technology A, and the first thing that is asked of you, is to do a PoC of tech A integrated with tech B... and then they assume that you are expert at tech B... and to be as fast as working on thech A2
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I tried to go for a job as a ReactJS junior dev.. I got my first interview and they liked my prototype.. but..
A week later they reply: "We decided not to go with you because we hired an expert in ReactJS".
Err.. really? You're hiring expert-level ReactJS developers for a junior position?! What the frig.
You want to know what I think? This whole "It's ok that you don't know everything, you'll learn on the job" thing is a hoax. No, the job market doesn't want novices. With every single interview, I'm met with: "but you're not an expert and we can't afford that".
This reminds me of the best advice my professor (seasoned expert in the field, real engineer with more than 20 years experience) once gave me:
"The job market doesn't have the time nor patience to mollycoddle you. When you enter it, you have to already know things to an expert degree because companies want value. They're hiring you because you have these skills and knowledge.
You have to already know what they ask before they ask it. You're required to know things by yesterday, so to speak. It is an exigent industry out there. This is why we bring you the foundations - so that you go further on your own and you can take on any problem"9 -
That moment when: you lift your gaze from your phone to understand the sudden quiet is because your expert opinion is needed in the meeting.
-
It's a sad fact of life that managing dynamic memory is a very difficult programming task. Some public domain X-Window applications are notorious for leaking like the Apple Computer board of directors -- Expert C Programming4
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Content strategy expert: How long would it take to program an SVG animation intro video
Me: I'm not sure I've never programmed one before.(still teaching myself)
Content expert: iS it even possible?
Me: yeah all things are possible in programming ;)
Content expert: so then how long would it take
Me: no.
Content expert: but wouldn't it be easier if...
Me: no, go away2 -
Wtf is this? I searched for my problem and have to pay money to see the answer an 'expert' gave to another user who needed help? And I don't even know if it would solve my problem. That's definitely a great marketing strategy.
https://imgur.com/a/usPDYxG
6 -
Explaining difficult things in a way that they are understandable by non-expert audiences.
This helps a lot to focus on simplicity when programming. And simple means it'll get understood by your peer programmers, it is simpler to test and it will be easier to maintain, and so on... -
You know when you are suddenly push to a new position that you are not familiar with?
Well I just became a server database/cloud expert. Fuck me.
Been Googling for a while now. If anyone has any advice, I'll appreciate it.
Anything free and open source, even better.6 -
It's 3 years old but for any of you who hasn't seen "The Expert"..
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg
Still the closest thing resembling my corporate life 🤣3 -
So, this is apparently how you concatenate a list of Strings or should I say cities 😉 (with a delimiter between each element but excluding the last one)
I wish my esteemed colleague at least had decency to hide the fact he copied it from SO 😭
Question: what's wrong with this code❓
9 -
So the new guy convinces my employer that he is a Machine Learning Expert. Nothing is wrong until He even convinces my employer that he can do Machine Learning with HTML (<==== is not a Programming Language); This is the time my IQ instantly dropped to ```Patrick Star```.8
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You want me to be an expert in advanced data structures, algorithms, dbms, Oracle, python, machine learning, J2EE just to develop apps for you? If I had been a master of all trades, I would not have come to you in the first place.2
-
Studying engineering doesn't make you an expert physicist, and studying medicine doesn't make you an expert virologist. Learn the bloody difference, just because somebody has a degree doesn't mean all they say is true and verified, especially if the don't list their sources or talk about it "exclusively" for one media.2
-
I just got called an expert for using Linux 😂 I'm taking this computer research in Psychology module (Matlab), and I was the only one using Linux.
-
Sh*t. I think I'm going to lose my job bc the CEO thought I was an expert on React even thought I specifically told him I wasn't. I worked at least 12 hours everyday, sometimes including weekends for 4 weeks now. And still got yelled at for not being an expert.
If you tell your manager: "I only used this tech in my spare time", would they expect you to be working at expert level?
I'm very confused and seems like noone is understanding my side.
Feel like sh*t rn because I really need this job because I'm broke but I dont know how to say to the CEO that I warned him and the team lead that I was not an expert. And yet, they treat me like one....10 -
That moment, in a meeting when you are trying to show a technical flaw in a manager idea... And suddenly you have a déjà vu moment from the "The Expert" comic sketch...
-
Got interviewed by someone less expirianced on industry and another frontend expert.....they was upset & surprized i never coded html. 😀......and i told them i never will5
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I shared this video a while back with some coworkers including my PM and another department that was making ridiculous requests. Didn't change a thing.
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg
They went as far as to ask me if they ever did anything like that. I, in all seriousness said yes. They laughed.3 -
The more I show up to the office to tackle impossible client demands, the more I realize that I am living in the world of The Expert.
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg1 -
I am not a math expert but I am almost 100% sure that 617 comes first (this is a bug that happens a lot when searching for top and all)
4 -
My country has the best security experts. They convince people that they are not thiefs, Then when people believe them and give them their data, They change the password.1
-
Came across this in a part of a web service I inherited from a junior we fired last year.
I am no C# expert, but I do believe there are better ways to read a byte array from a JSON string, am I right?
18 -
When I say I'm in "DevOps" what I really mean is that I'm a full-stack engineer, DBA, system administrator, security engineer, auditor, cloud custodian, cost optimization expert, and everything else that doesn't get its own dedicated staff member here. Pretty much the catch all between developers and customer.
-
Who else feels like your JavaScript skills are lacking? I have only been coding for about 6 month's and JS for about 2 1/2 of it but still I am not an expert and I understand. But still . . .😥16
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Have my final exam tomorrow.
Main topic is expert systems (XPS).
I don't know jack shit, but I don't care at this point.
Good night.5 -
So I'm no labor law expert or anything, but this just seems off. Anyone know the legality of this?
8 -
Asking for an expert, what do you think about laracast videos, on php and laravel? (Free course only)5
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Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.15
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Wanna be rich? Become an independent privacy officer! Rent yourself only to companies that have their shit together and charge thousands just for being a security expert!
Every larger company needs one, but almost none have an employee lawfully qualified to be one... 🤑2 -
This to good to be true: a script that removes all win10 bloatware and "telemetry" processes at once.sat as .bat, execute and your pc runs smooth...could there a catch? Expert advise welcome ;) https://hwinfo.com/misc/...3
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Suppossing that you're a very capable professional my advice is to NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOU. There are a lot of crappy programmers that feels like an expert because they did a hello world.
-
Pluralsight said I'm in the 85th percentile of people who know JavaScript and therefore I'm an ”Expert"
So now I walk around like, "bro do you even know how to pass a callback?" 😏 -
I'm sure all of us have felt like this at some point. I love this video
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...1 -
i am not a SQL expert, but i can do what i need to do in order to be considered a full stack dev
the syntax i have to learn was deprecated before i was even born -
Can somebody please explain to me why I need to be an expert at witchcraft & dark magic just to merge 2 SVN branches. And why the fuck anybody still uses SVN when there's git.5
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$ git clone https://github.com/otheruser/...
$ cd public_ai_repo
$ pipenv install
$ jupyter notebook
Hey everyone, I’m an AI expert. In fact it took me one hour this evening to complete this entire project; code, tests and documentation. -
Dev bootcamps? I went to one! Probably the best decision I ever made.
They aren't perfect, they're pricey, and they won't make you an expert, but it's a good way to expedite a new career, gives a good base knowledge to start out. -
"Oh, you only know 10% of how these algorithms work? You're now the subject matter expert, so you get to write the code"
-
Ok.
I am not a security expert, but when i was working on downloading youtube videos directly from googlevideos.com server, found out there was some security issue that allows to manipulate login requests.
Reported to google.
Let's see how it goes.2 -
This movie is so recognizable: "The Expert". Really, a must see for every IT related consultant out there. Not once, I have felt exactly like this guy: https://m.youtube.com/watch/...7
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confession
somewhere deep inside me I know that despite I am programming in c and using linux from ages, still not an expert.2 -
Parsing logs to create conditional insert statements cause expert morons fucked up production database cluster.
Database is partially corrupted and cannot be used and they don’t know how to fix it.2 -
MFW I, a junior dev who just started have to explain what sql injection is to a senior IT person... It's not like I'm an expert in the field, but a little bit of expertise would be nice2
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Oh yeah, I'm totally an "expert".
It means I only have a vague idea of what I'm talking about, but I'll talk louder than you to make everyone feel that I know more than you.
It means that if you question me, I'm totally flipping out and call you a bitch.
And your opinion definitely doesn't matter, because well, if it did, you'd be expert wouldn't you?4 -
Some companies: asking for a developer, must have 5 years of experience. Must know C#, php and Python. Also expert in html css react angular and vue. Salary: scrubs. Haha good look looking for the ultimate developer senior for €1800 a month :’)1
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I fixed one problem we had at work with SSL over a year ago. Since then, whenever anyone has any problem vaguely to do with SSL, they come to me. The "expert". So I guess I'd like to become what I'm already perceived as... SSLman1
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The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.3 -
- Get to expert level on all my preferred technologies
- Get to travel after graduation
- Strive for a better position at current company
- Contribute to interesting open-source projects
- Hope to not go insane in the process -
When this video (The Expert sketch) became my reality....so many times 😥
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
Just got off a call with Mongo expert... Seems it's not good for large systems that need to be fast and scale...5
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[Talk by a security expert. The main point was, complexity kills security.]
7 minutes later a friend via IM: Hey, let's use OpenStack! Just 33 micro services to install! -
They made me pretend to be an expert on an enterprise-level job with only a few days of study. It was for a role not even related to what I do....5
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Can anyone suggest good book for learning how an os works
Working of microprocessor
Unix
C
C++
book for complete software development form noob to expert8 -
Not a js expert. I'm trying to learn a new js framework so I'm stuck between angular and react. I'm a Django dev, so I'll be mostly using this framework in my Django apps. Which one should I learn? I'm migrating from jquery so please don't be harsh at me 😅7
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I don't like how I develop our apps right now. My team leader said that the UI of the App, we are developing, only our UI/UX expert makes decision on how our app will look like. No developer must interfere. It's like shut up and do this. It's practically insane!6
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I just love how everyone on this miserable spinning rock in space has transitioned in the past 3 years from being a virologist and plagues expert to a commerce and finances expert to a
fine art expert to a geopolitics and war expert to an engineering and artificial intelligence expert.
seriously someone messed up something on production in this world, i think we need a reset.2 -
i am becoming our companies excel advanced expert. actually i am just better at internet searching than the rest of us. creating fully automated sheets makes me wonder what all of the office stuff learned during their appreticeship and how they can avoid using office properly while entering everything manually.
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Why do I keep opening all this shit that has been signed off by an expert yet is completely wrong everytime?!
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Why the carrot did people keep asking me about their hacked account? I'm only a programmer, not a social media expert.4
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To keep the search results of a self build webshop after browsing and returning after searching, my client had "the solution" to make the product page picture-in-picture. He's a self acclaimed tech and seo expert.
In the end I solved it with pushstates1 -
At PyCon Hyderabad 2018, I realised you don't have to be an expert to present a talk and most people do essays instead of questions.2
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I was asked to pretend to be an expert to solve a temporary solution for a client in my company. I agreed because I thought it would be a simple solution.
I was wrong.
They only gave me 4 days to train (Including my f*cking weekend) and the project requires a much more experienced consultant since I'm struggling even with the simplest of tasks. Also, the person who was suppose to help me it's not always available. And they are not actively searching for a new expert.
Today I'll talk to my team lead and the person in charge of the project and let them know that this task will require someone much more experienced.
I may get fired but at least my conscience will be clear.
I just feel bad for the client. They are such nice people.7 -
Being on second line support, I don't feel I need to say much else as I'm sure many of you know my pain right noe
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I'm not there yet, but hopefully, someday, I'll be an expert in making clean, maintainable code. I want others to look at it and say, "ah, I get it" without staring at it for a long time.2
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These fucking deepshet, spoiled retards
they expert me to build software not from the ground but from the fucking foundation up to release date all by myself
they also expert me to do all required research
also expert me to do the fucking marketing
they expert me to bring new fucking business
They expert me to work at High performance
They expert me to do stock inventory as well
They fucking sit me in shity meetings
WHAT THA FUCK IS THIS SHIT1 -
Try out all sorts of things/technologies and find what interests you the most. Go after being an expert in that particular domain. Also, learn by doing.
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Is there anyone here who is expert in Microsoft Sql server. Am getting error while connecting to local database.8
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At what point are you an expert in C++?
Herb Sutter's talk tilted "Back to Basics" (available on YouTube) contains the message "it's easy to forget that you're an expert" in the context of writing code that utilizes the latest complicated features of a language to squeeze out the last drop of performance.
So what makes someone an expert? Is it just writing production code? Is it groking the entire panel presented by a standards committee member? Is it contributing to the STL? Is it when you can write your own compiler while blindfolded and juggling rubber duckies in under 60 seconds?
What makes a person an expert in any language, for that matter?5 -
Im an android /java native coder
And a swift/xcode native coder
But I also expert in angular ...
Sooooooo ???
Shall I go android/kotlin+ios/swiftUI
Or ionic angular capacitor ?2 -
My dream dev-power would be to have a prescient warning with a couple years advance on what's the next interesting AND money-raking technology, so I will be already an expert just at start and I could even get a job at the sponsor company.
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hello guys
I recently learnt the django and im not an expert . I pushed a repository on my github
"pouria03".
and i just started to learn DRF(django rest framework) .
do you have any advice for me to help my progress?
I'll be thankful4 -
Have I said this before? The Google - everything and the Facebook - everything... is SO FUCKED. Seriously... why would anyone ever want to work somewhere with weekend-bootcamp- hackathon quality user interface? You have to be an "expert" in their exact interface of the month just to give them money.1
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That moment when you explain to your manager what the term "full-stack" means and next thing you know you've gone from being a "backend c#" to azure migration expert/dba/designer/api architect/network engineer/php wordpress developer... let's go back to when you'd never heard of full-stack
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Not a rant but in need of some help. I'm not a WordPress expert here, more of a .Net kind of guy.
Long story short is anyone willing to help solve a php problem? Deals with form submission and multi images in a form...1 -
say you're thinking about starting a new project, you have the basics but not really expert in all the aspects required by the project and decided to open source it. how would you get the project more visibility which means more people involved ?4
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Sometimes I wish I could rent an expert for a day you know.
I do a lot of side projects that are mostly outside of my comfort zone and it’s frustrating having nobody to consistently ask very detailed and specific questions to5 -
I've been seeing job ads saying they look for people who are "good at node.js" or similar (e.g. guru, expert...) What does that mean? I only use npm when I do my reactjs projects. Does that count?4
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Old but gold. The Expert sketch A.K.A. how it feels to be a developer during a project meeting. https://youtube.com/watch/...
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"i encourage you to take these traning. the trend now is to be multi-skilled. be the jack of all trades!"
fuck.3 -
Which is your most loved programming language or in which programming language you think you are an expert??👩💻👩💻
Give your answer below👇👇👇15 -
be you
> claim you are an 'expert' at anything when you got your MS in 2018
> fuck you
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
ALTHOUGH A EXPERT PROGRAMMER.DONT HAVE COMPUTER OF HIS OWN SO TRIED
SOME APPS
AND APPS BE LIKE.
System.out.println("hello world");
Le programmer:
5 -
The worst part about being an accessibility expert in these times is getting a redundant flood of a11y stuff on developer knowledge email subscriptions.
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had a question from a friend of a friend regarding a website with search function but javascript only. did his homework. appealing.
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My last days at work before changing job. I am an angular expert, and I have contributed to build the first angular enterprise project for my business; during my last 20 days you know what I am doing? Maintenance on a pretty old GWT project that nobody wants to care...1
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How do you respond if someone called themselves EXPERT but you know that his level of programming knowledge is PAR with you?🤔3
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Every time when someone tells me they are an expert of ML. I chuckled. I don't know the ML stands for Machine Learning or "MY LEGGGGG' from SpongeBob.
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CSS is like a deterministic FPGA language; you describe a loop-free dataflow diagram and then switch to a different one to cycle data around.
https://dev.to/janeori/...
This gives me an idea -
Fellow ranters, what are your thoughts on if an developer should strive to be an expert on a single language/skill (deep knowledge) vs knowing a little about everything (wide knowledge)?7
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I'm spending my weekend reading "Node.js Design Patterns - 2nd Edition". Remember the good old days when a language was just language instead of a constantly moving target that wipes out any prior knowledge?2
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When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
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Never proclaim to be an expert even if you become really proficient in your field. There will always be someone who has read a white paper that you haven't that will shoot you down.
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Any Vue expert here?
I just want to publish a vue.js component on npm.
I know how to publish it, but I was wondering I have to structure the vue component package.
I read (almost)everything about it, but I couldn't find anything clear.3 -
Any Fiverr expert could help me please, I have added new gigs to my account and the impressions and clicks are increasing everyday but I've got no orders for 2 weeks. It's quite strange to me.2
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Security expert advices over security is like a priest preaching about the way of life. Both of them tend to same thing that it would protect from `evil`
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My first session at Hackhands as an Expert. I feel proud of me and my mentee left very satisfied with my help!
Im pretty excited about this, anyone else here is also a Hackhands Expert? -
So my dev colleague updated is arm Macbook to the latest MacOS version and the PC couldn't boot anymore...fun part is that even "it expert" needs to go to genius bar to fix their PC...but hey "just works"3
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