"Chrome 66 arrives with autoplaying content blocked by default"

Fuck yeah! Fuck you CNET, Mashables and all the other retard companies that did that.

>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.

Dear Microsoft

Please do not fuck up GitHub.

Yours sincerely
All developers

What the fuck student. Why in fuck would you submit a python assignment in word. So that all the formatting you know the stuff that tells python how to run the code all fucks up. How the fuck can I mark this.

Can all the people that do this just fuck off?

HTML: 80%

80% OF WHAT?

Thanks Windows for deleting my entire fucking Ubuntu partition in your latest update. I didnt really need any of those projects I was working on. It's not like I have deadlines or anything.

PS.
Go fuck yourself

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT BITCOIN XD

SHUT THE FUCK UP WE ALL KNOW

FOR FUCK SAKE ANDROID STUDIO!!! 5GB RAM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!! I NEED THOSE VMs RUNNING AND USING 5GB IS NOT COOL AT ALL!!

Fuck you regex. That is all.

#1

Fuck it. I obtained a Laravel codebase with 200 routes all handled by "mainController".

😓🔨

There will be rants.

A big FUCK YOU to all those sites that disable paste on text inputs

That co-worker that erases all of your changes if there's a merge conflict.
Fuck you too buddy.

FOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY, IN ALL THAT IS HOLY OF FUCK. I AM ACTUALLY
Not angry at all, I just really like swearing

I'm a fucking finance girl. FINANCE. GIRL. Why the fuck am I spending all morning importing databases??
I'll tell you why.. "you are married to a dev. You must have picked something up." Fuck this. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. (no it's not working for the fuck of it, and whoever wrote this program deserves to be hanged by his balls from a tree)

“Ahh fuck it, no time for adding comments and I will remember how all of it works anyways.”

Fuck You MS. Linux All The Way.

Fuck Microsoft teams

That is all

* Updates and adds unit tests *
* Runs unit tests *
* All tests pass *

What the fuck? I'm not THAT good to write tests that pass on the first iteration.

* Runs unit tests *
* All tests pass *

Someting's not right here.

* Checks terminal *

FUCK I'm in the wrong project folder

GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:

"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"

"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"

"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"

(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.

"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"

Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?

STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

Fuck XML. Fuck it right up it's X with it's M, all the way to L.

As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.

But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.

Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

Fuck you to all the bosses who don't give a Fuck about their employees.

FUCK!!! FUCK IT ALL. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY BULLSHT UNDOCUMENTED AND OUTDATED API.

YOUR DATABASE SERVER BACK-END HAS TO BE THE ONE MANAGING THE DISPLAY DATA FOR ITS WEB AND MOBILE CLIENTS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, DAMN IT.

I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE ALL DAY HARD-CODING ALL YOUR SERVER'S INADEQUACY.

MAKES ME WONDER DO YOU EVER USE DESIGN PATTERNS OR APPLY DESIGN PRINCIPLES? DRY AT LEAST? DON'T FUCKING REPEAT YOURSELF, DAMN IT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.

I'm tired of everyone playing the fucking victim all the damn time.

Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your fuck ups, not blame everyone but yourself.

God people piss me off these days

If you ever cooperate on a feature like this as a developer, I will find out where you live, drug you just enough to make your body limp, and mutilate your genitals with my keyboard.

Fucking sexist pricks, assuming I want to play with the blue robots and not the pink dolls. Fuck all of them.

Actually, fuck all your retarded cablecutting VOD services with your awful recommendation engines. Fuck your lack of proper playback features, fuck your bloated mobile apps, fuck your vendor lockins, fuck your region locks.

I'm back to pirating, and I'll just buy a pile of merch, trot proudly through the office with an Adventure Time backpack and a laptop full of Steven Universe stickers.

Fuck all this legacy shit. I'm buying a strip club on the bahamas, seeya!

When it’s 2:30AM and your brain won’t shut the fuck up about all the ideas you want to try

Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK WORDPRESS

Ty for your attention, that will be all. It is just annoying the hell out of me.

to the guy who writes indented IF statements all one liners and brackets removed
please fuck yourself

This makes me happy!...

FUCK WEB3, FUCK CRYPTO, FUCK NFTS, FUCK ALL THIS PONZI ASS BIG BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THJS!!!! THE ONLY ONES WHO PROFIT ARE NOT THE ONES WHO BUY CRYPTO OR JPEGS BUT THE ONES ON TOP OF THIS PYRAMID WHO CREATED IT!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL CODE MY OWN PYRAMID COIN/JPEG AND SELL IT TO SUCKERS!!!!!!!! FCKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.

FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me

S H I T !

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Started working on devRantron after a month holiday.

Major version upgrade to 4 different packages. All the upgrades are breaking the current configurations.

I just fucking wish JS community would understand the importance of backward compatibility.

Client: How's our B2B data lookup platform coming along?
Me: All done, your clients can now search by first/last name as well.
Client: I just search "fuck" as first name and 5 results came up, our data is not cleaned up properly.
Me: Fuck
Client: Fuck

What in the fuck? Do all beginner programmers just flat out not read error messages?

Were the fuck are all the rants?!

All this funny shit is 'fun' but fuck. I miss old rants.

Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.

Get this, at college we were told to use PHP7 for development right? All good, PHP7 is awesome and all, so we have to make a big project for college and put it on the school's server... now here's the pickle...

THEIR SERVER RUNS FUCKING PHP5.X

WTF!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DON'T FUCKING TELL US WE SHOULD USE PHP7 AND THEN DON'T SUPPORT PHP7 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Fuck software assurance.

Fuck functional specifications, fuck software requirements, fuck V-model bullshit documentation, fuck integration test plans.

Fuck trying to shoehorn waterfall requirements into what clearly was an interative development.

Fuck me for being a single dev handling all this bullshit by myself.

Fuck all these CSS frameworks using Jquery as their dependency. Cross-browser my ass.

I am going full flexbox.

I say it with all of my heart:
FUCK YOU google analytics spammers!

Me, not giving any fuck to all the problems around me.

"Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups"

"Nothing is unbreakable"

Google Insights updates their image score algorithm. Now all our website scores dropped from ~90 to 20 - 50. Guess who needs to resize all the freaking images. Fuck me.

Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.

Okay I'm done now.

A minute of middle-fingered-silence to those fuckers who buy expensive high end machines and play finch stupid video games like counter strike and all and fucking don't let their roommate sleep!!!!
Fuck you roommate!!
Fuck steam.

Fuck all these "researchers" that port scan the shit out of my servers

Fuck stripped screws. A big FUCK to all those manufacturers using fucking cheap screws. Fuck them all.
Now, I am stuck here. Don't have the equipment to remove this motherfucker.

1.
!dev

Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.

2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.

3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.

4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢

5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭

My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.

Shit falls on me since he ain't here.

Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....

know why?

Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.

Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification...

What the fuck is wrong with me??

So many projects, but didn't finish them at all 🙇🤦🏼‍♀️

FUCK NODEJS
FUCK NPM
FUCK ANGULAR
FUCK ALL THOSE FUCKIN PACKAGES
FUCK THIS PILE OF CRAP MAKING ME WASTE MY TIME

I've got one thing to say:

Fuck. Math.

That's all.

Perfect job is when sandbox and production api endpoints works the same.

Fuck all api endpoints where their sandbox works differently than the production.

Fuck all those error messages that appear only in production, despite faithfully following the documentations.

Fuck the gateways where their sandbox is more stable than the production.

Fuck the endpoints whose api parameters differ in what they accept between sandbox and production.

Fuck those manuals that does not document these diferrences.

Fuck those developers and support team who don't know how to support integrators. They don't even know how their apis work!

Ah, Excel. Know what I love about Excel? Fuck all

FUCK YOU EXCEL!

Multiple monitors to show multiple sheets at once?
Excel: Not allowed.
FUCK YOU

Open multiple files at once?
Excel: Not allowed, I will only show you one at a time.
FUCK YOU

Multiple Desktops to have multiple setups to easily switch between?
Excel: Not allowed, I'll show you the same spreadsheet on all desktops!
FUCK YOU

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Fuck Apple even more than before. Keep all your proprietary garbage, I don't need any of it.

Fuck. Look at all these pieces.

Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.

YOU FUCKING FUCK PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT XCODE I FUCKING WISH YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THIS FUCKED UP WORLD!
What I did:
1. Scroll right on "Magic Mouse"
2. Profit! (XCode crash!)

Dear fuckface,
Fuck you and your Electron gobbling up RAM like it's free food at a all-you-can-eat buffet. It's not. Please take your Electron and fuck the fuck off from my computer.
Sincerely, with a double middle finger and double middle toes,
PTH

How the Fuck are aliens going to communicate to us, when the protocols we use for communication are all human made?

My current company decided to do all automation in node.js.
Crawling, new projects, processes, all of it in Node.

Fuck my life.

Why the actual fuck would you need all these permissions???
FOR A FUCKING REMOTE!?!???

Fucking Apple products fuck xcode fuck all ishit!
Wrapped my views in a UIStackView in storyboard designer and xcode gave it a width of 8,000,000 and height of 3,000,000

Fuck all of this. I wanna move to The Shire.

Fuck all people that take credit for other peoples work.

Fuck em hard

;/

Fuck Java haters.

That is all.

Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK

FUCK YOU TUMBLR! I SPEND THE LAST 10 MINUTES UNCHECKING EVERY FUCKING THING AND YOU DON'T ALLOW ME TO TOUCH THE LAST ONE!?
Why is there no uncheck all- button 😤😭

It's so fucking great to be the only dev that uses Linux here and the servers are all Linux and the windows devs sometimes don't give a fuck about case sensitivity... Just fuck them all!!!!!!

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB

if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK

FUCK THIS FACEBOOK ASSHOLES FOR GIVING MY NUMBER TO A CLIENT. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. I DON'T SIGNED UP FOR GIVING OUT MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE .I HOPE YOUR COMPANY LOSE ALL THEIR ASSETS AND MARK ZUCKERBERG GO BANKRUPT .... FUCK YOU ...

Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.

Constructive criticism at its finest coming all the way from:

Fuck You
Fuck You - Fuck You
Fuck You, AL 10101

Note: Joe is my coworker, not the customer that wrote in. The form sends from his address.

All you fuck faces have a great weekend!

Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.

Fuck Realtek and their drivers. That's all.

Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.

Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!

Now back to programming...

Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!

Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.

Fuck man.. very disappointed now.. 3 months ago i was told not to worry about funding and salary and all, now fucking still waiting for half salary.. fuck startup like this

Alright, i'm fucking done.

Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.

Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."

Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."

Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."

Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."

when did Linux go to shit?

Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.

Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"

Fuck it.

I'm installing DOS.

Boss: "So I'm taking the next week off. In the mean time, I added some stuff for you to do on Gitlab, we'd need you to pull this Docker image, run it, setup the minimal requirement and play with it until you understand what it does."

Me: "K boss, sounds fun!" (no irony here)

First day: Unable to login to the remote repository. Also, I was given a dude's name to contact if I had troubles, the dude didn't answer his email.

2nd day: The dude aswered! Also, I realized that I couldn't reach the repository because the ISP for whom I work blocks everything within specific ports, and the url I had to reach was ":5443". Yay. However, I still can't login to the repo nor pull the image, the connection gets closed.

3rd day (today): A colleague suggested that I removed myself off the ISP's network and use my 4G or something. And it worked! Finally!! Now all I need to do is to set that token they gave me, set a first user, a first password and... get a 400 HTTP response. Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

These fuckers display a 401 error, while returning a 400 error in the console log!! And the errors says what? "Request failed with status code 401" YES THANK YOU, THIS IS SO HELPFUL! Like fuck yea, I know exactly how t fix this, except that I don't because y'all fuckers don't give any detail on what could be the problem!

4th day (tomorrow): I'm gonna barbecue these sons of a bitch

(bottom note: the dude that answered is actually really cool, I won't barbecue him)

My friends have to understand that I'm a programmer not a computer fixer. Fuck all this bullshit

All ya fuckers be like fuck windows, fuck mac.. i seriously don't like samsung (devices).😝

Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...

Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!

PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK

Have I missed something?

Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

All I Can Say About Java is WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LANGUAGE?

Fuck insomnia. Fuck it right in its overly alert, not at all tired face. Could I just for one night actually sleep and not wake up 2 hours later? Please?!

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Sex is cool and all but have you seen the new KSP2 trailer? Fuck me I'm excited

Oh fuck, did I actually fix all IE-related tickets on this project?
Am I some kind of masochist?

I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)

And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.

Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.

I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./

Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.

I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.

Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.

People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.

We are sorry, that You are experiencing issues with our application, please describe your problem with details in a letter and send it STRAIGHT IN YOUR ASSHOLE. WTF everybody gone in vacation and I need to respond to all that shit?

You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL

I'm having that feeling right about now...

Fuck China

That's all

The assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

Got official announcement that power will be cut off and given in schedule. For many weeks.

Fuck, we are all just adult toodlers pretending to run businesses as a game. Right? So yeah, just fuck us.

Fucking “front end” “Seniors” who can’t write a single line of TypeScript. Honestly FUCK YOU ALL. Waste of money on you.

It’s my birthday today and I shall be doing fuck all, just like I have for all my others.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!! FUCK YOU SPRING-DATA-NEO4J YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY YOU SHIT FUCK !!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR DELETE ON SAVE BULLSHIT!!!! OMFG!!!!!!! EVERYTIME IS SOME FUCKING SHIT THAT DELETES OTHER SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DELETED!!! JUST FUCK YOU ALREADY IM GONNA REWRITE ALL THIS SHIT!!!!!!!

Honestly fuck C++.

That's all.

Fuck all the neverending js frontend frameworks. And fuck everybody who worships them

Fuck front end… That is all

Fucking long week at work.. but its not all bad. Facebook stock tanking makes up for it. Bahaha fuck em

Fuck academics! End semester exams are ucking waste of time ! Just need to study one night before and on exam ay 'vomit' all my memory onto the paper. Fuck it. I AM done.

Because fuck you all, i'm at the sun and the nude beach!

small victories... leaving little fuck you notes all over the code..
along with all the test cunts that still get incremented on the production..

devRant, lets face it.. our tags here suck just as hard as our commit messages. Fuck us all!

MOTHERFUCKING PROGUARD with all your fucking flags

-keep my ass
-dontwarn my balls
-dontshrink my asshole

FUCK YOU for all the hours I have to spend figuring out how to make you happy whenever I update guava or any other damn library GO FUCK YOURSELF

:)

fuck iText.
fuck Aspose.
fuck Adobe.
fuck PDFs.

It will be all too soon if I never have anything to do with programming an app to do PDF generation/manipulation ever again.

- Power in office goes off
- Shrugs and continues to do fuck all

First of all: FUCK MS WORD!!!
second: even tho I LOVE LaTeX, fuck LaTeX tables!!!

I mean, yeah, I am used to them, but maaaaaaaannn

Fuck windows, fuck macOS, fuck php, fuck nodejs, fuck this, fuck that....

With all the bashing over everything, I think I’ll go back to VB6... at least no ones hating on that!

FUCK THESE FUCKING GPDR! FUCK THESE SITES! FUCK EVERY LITTLE COCKSUCKING BASTARD POPUP!
I click DISAGREE ON EVERY FUCKING POPUP! YET THESE BASTARDS SELL MY DATA LIKE EXOTIC BUTTERS! FUCK THEM ALL!

The client just complained that the website looks problematic on Internet Explorer 9. FUCK YOU!!! FUCK INTERNET EXPLORER! FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!

Fuck it all!

This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?

Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.

FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.

web technologies rot your brain into a festering deadly biohazard mush. web technologies are the worst thing that ever happened to this world. fucking festering web shitosystem fuck this disgusting stupid fragile opaque bloated universe-sized chunk of retarded pukeshit.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUCKING GAMES, NOT HAVE MY BRAIN AND SOUL CONSTANTLY ROTTED BY THIS FUCKIN MONUMENT TO UTTER RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED HUMAN INCOMPETENCE FUCK YOU ALL FUCK ALL THIS SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK DISGUSTING FUCKIN MINDRAPE PEDOPHILIACS SHOULD STOP FUCKING "INVENTING" SHITPOOLS.

WHEN
THE
FUCK
WILL
SOMEONE
COMPETENT
BE
THE
INVENTOR
OF
SOME
PIECE
OF
IT.

whoever were the rapists who "invented" php, js, html, css, SQL, and all the bullshit about how it's supposed to be configured and communicate with each other should have died of starvation in a fuckin ditch while being raped by squirrels... before they managed to "invent" any of that disgusting shit.

fuck you with your fuckin linux bullshit philosophy which keeps rotting all your brains thinking that this is fine and it can be fixed just by piling more and more layers of fucking shit on top of all this shit.

FUCK.
YOU.
ALL.

Reminds me of "All your base are belong to us" a bit.

Side note, fuck this.
💩

!rant

Alright I'm at a lodge drinking beer with old men. These old men (50-70) are talking about facebook. I wish half of the teenagers could hear this shit where there would be a mass exodus and facebook would go the way of myspace.

Fuck you windows 10. Fuck you private keys. Fuck you tortoise git. Fuck you git bash. Fuck you cygwin. Want 3x hours of my life back. Had an auth problem... Had to reinstall all the above on windows to connect to my private repo. Took me 5 minutes to connect after reinstalling all the tools. Grrrrrrr. And I'll never know why it wouldn't connect apart from fatal protocol error: bad line length character..I tried ever stack overflow answer... I nearly bricked my gitlab CE...and it was windows being a motherslut

Fuck AT&T syntax for x86 assembly.
That is all.

Fuck all these companies!! Every time I'm looking for jobs in my area all job descriptions only make me realize that I won't fit these environments and I'm better off starting my own business but I can't think of anything useful to do ... FUCK!!

One day I want to replace all "ERROR" logs with "FUCK":

09-31-26: FUCK: Database not initialized.
09-31-26: FUCK: Unable to parse input.

Fuck React!
Fuck BCryptjs!!
Fuck Insomnia!!!
Fuck ExpressJs!!!
Fuck MongoDB!!!!!!
Fuck Case sensitivity!!!
Fuck Nodemon!!!!
Fuck coding!!!!!

Fuck NodeJS and Python, C# and strong-typing is all I need in life. (But python is sometimes useful)

Me: flutter upgrade
*15 minutes later*
Me: cool all done!
Me: flutter run
Flutter: gotta redownload that successfully installed update all over again because fuck you!

*cries in corner*

Fuck pair programming
Fuck mob programming
Fuck all that hipster shit!

GMT/UTC
IST
ACST
CST
PST
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.
.
.
.
Man Fuck time zones, I don't even know where I belong anymore while keeping track of all of them at once.
Fuck You In The Ass Time Zone

BITCH THE APPLICATION WORKS PERFECTLY FINE!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DATA YOU GAVE ME WAS FUCKED UP LIKE YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE YOU SHIT HEAD COMPUTER ILLITERATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE SON OF A BITCH

A big, fat FUCK YOU to everyone who pushes out app-updates with generic "Improvements for speed and reliability" changelogs. I hope you and all your descendants, relatives, friends and pets get huge, hairy, painful warts between your buttcheeks that grow larger every day and return after every attempt to have them removed. Fuck you, and fuck your bullshit updates.

And if there are any devs on devRant guilty of this behaviour, fuck you too. I hope your sexual organs rot and fall off, and that you lose all your upvotes.

Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA

FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT

I COULDNT GET THE WIFI TO WORK, THAT WAS ALL, AND NOW THIS SHIT fuck it all I'm going to bed then waking up and switching to an Outdoor Leadership degree.

After two days if uni related c++ programming, all I can say is one thing:

FUCK YOU C++

Aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh

Out of all the days,

My laptop is lagging today, when I need to things to be done.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

PS. It's so slow, that I ended up searching a meme too.

Why the fuck do I still get these. All. The. Fucking. Time.

Fuck windows and fuck policies that read my hdd as unencrypted forcing me to restart in the middle of a massive data transfer operation. That is all.

Well I asked what Wednesday could bring in my last rant.

Potential redundancy apparently. Company I work for has just been bought and no one knows if any jobs are safe.

The question is do I still have a interviewing suit? (One that fits)

I can't focus on my task and get motivated because I want to change my position in the company I'm in.

I can't change my position in the company I'm in because I can't focus on my task and get motivated.

Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.

FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS

Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.

I thought I was a senior dev. But reading devrant, I realise that I know fuck-all about development.

Yes its completely necessary to have a spring server with a mysql database with docker containers all over your ass for 3 fucking endpoints and a (url, varchar, varchar) schema. Fuck you. How the fuck do i run all this shit and how do you expect me to create a frontend for something that has no documented endpoints?? Fuck you.

In other news, im now a senior.

Fuck Silicon Valley Bank. That is all.

YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!

THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!

I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!

So I really hate iOS programming. I'm in school and all my devices for dev are Microsoft based and fuck trying to use hackintosh. So now I have to waste more of my time and gas money going to school to use the stupid fucking imacs to Develop in a language I have 0 interest in. Fuck apple, fuck iOS, and fuck swift!

All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.

One will seldom hear me completely shit about a piece of technology.

But my time has come to do it again:

Fuck RedHat man. Like, really, fuck you. Fedora is fine. Centos is fine. Fuck red hat.

That is all. Thank you.

Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.

Deadline not met, manager blames and go off on all developers. They think development is easy.
Fuck you

FUCK Banks

Fuck Banks and fuck online Banking

Fuck you for not supporting real 2FA
Fuck you for having such shitty bloated bullshit Websites and online services
Fuck you for taking forever to transfer money
Fuck you for not having public APIs Fuck you for so many uncountable reasons.

And most of all Fuck you for constantly trying to fuck me. I FUCKING HATE BANKS SO FUCKING MUCH.

I hope so much that there'll be a decentralised uncontrollable anonymous and digital currency in the future. Something like Cryptos (like BTC or ETH) but without all the major Problems they have now.

I wish there was a hell Banks could go to. I want to see them burn and suffer so fucking much not even the worst medieval torture methods are enough to satisfy me.

Fuck JavaScript.

When is this garbage going to be banned!

That is all.

I picked all Spiral galaxies you dumb fuck!

Fuck robinhood.

That is all

Me: *clicks on quick web design demonstration video*
All website builder ads: Fuck your entire profession!

I will delete my question. Fuck you all! Fuck Shopware and your lack of support! Fuck StackOverflow and your erratic standards of downvoting, deleting, or simply ignoring helpful questions, while piling up React and jQuery details bullshit. Fuck you all seriously! Just typing this to see if anyone of you yankees cares enough to down vote or ban me. Fuck the fucking fuckers!

Sure we cannot release untill all the micromanagable fuckery is fucked beyond recognition...

Fuck off already

Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.

Spouting "we'll get there" on repeat literally does fuck all you fucking cunt

Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.

Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.

2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.

3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.

4.install linux subsystem.

5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.

6.party all night (code)

Why the fuck do we have THIRTEEN environments dedicated to dev and test, all for the same items?

Updating Windows 10, takes about 1h30 to get to around 75%, then it restarts, it freezes, and the next time it boots, it tries to recover to my last update...

I want to fuck the whole Skype team until death for blocking my contacts and won't let me to make any call with my father and my family member. FUCK YOU SKYPE.

Happy new year to all devRanters !

Fuck environments without direct internet access and only http proxy in place.

That is all, thank you for listening

FUCK YOU SYNOLOGY

Fuck you for breaking all my custom shit.
Fuck you for wiping almost everything (but leaving random stuff) every major update.
Fuck you for switching from upstart to systemd 219 (RELEASED MARCH 2015!).
Fuck you for using an outdated kernel.
Fuck you for having the weirdest shittiest preconfigured settings.
Fuck you for using your own custom package format.
Fuck you for being so utterly broken.
Fuck you for making me work 10 hours just to get everything back up and running the way it was.

Fuck you from the bottom of my heart

Fuck Tik Tok or whatever shit that thing is

That shitty commercials are all over google ads. Ok, I have seen that girl enough changing scenes, so please fuck off.

So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.

People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development

All unit tests pass in eclipse, swap to maven 1 test suddenly fails.

Fuck you maven

FUCK YOU to all the platforms abandoning OpenGL.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT! (defaults opengl 1.1)
FUCK YOU APPLE!

I guess we are moving steadily towards Vulkan.
Is Apple even going to support that?
FUCK YOU APPLE!

And an extra FUCK YOU APPLE! just because they are dicks in general.
Don't think I forgot Microsoft's dickishness: FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!

Hey, all you shitty devs who give my Udemy courses 1 or 2 stars with no comment or feedback

FUCK YOU!!!!

Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO

Fuck it all

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

I threw out the container with all my SATA cables instead of old chargers.

Only have a 10CM one left and need a 15!

Ugh, now to wait a week for a new one to come -,-

Fuck you windows and your bizarre line endings.

^M (CR) all over the place now, fuck this, going to make an automated tool now that converts all line endings to LF

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

How did my life went from "Fuck Drupal" to "All hail Drupal"? 🤔

Unpopular opinion.

TOML sucks

* it does not claim to care about indentation but it actually does
* nested datastructures are a nightmare, especially 'inline' for 'readability'
* oh fuck me everything must be "double quotes"
* booleans always lowercase, there is no "truthy" here.
* Tables are not intuitive at all.

And all this from working with it first time because I had the silly idea to modernize a python project to use pyproject.toml

Oh and don't get me started on pyproject.toml files. The documentation sucks!

What the fuck is this steaming shit!?
You fucking background apps, chrome and Firefox take all my resources to fucking open my Google drive?!

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE 19 INSTANCES OF CHROME RUNNING!!!!

WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS! LET THE FUCK LOAD!

I HATE WINDOWS! BUT THEN THERE ARE APPS WHO ARE FOR WINDOWS AND MAC ONLY!

I'M DYING NOW!!!!!!!!

FINE! EAT ALL MY 12 GB RAM AND FUCK YOURSELF IN THE CORNER BUT PET ME DO MY WORK!

So, just pulled another all-nighter..

On our platform I switched a quite big customer to another stock keeping system to pull them into automatic FEFO handling etc. Just a better stock keeping system overall.. I made it.. *self hi-5*

Evidently the crons caught that change, and CLEARED ALL THE STOCK LEVELS as they're now managed by said system...

Had to pull the counts, locations, expiry dates and lot numbers from the history table and old database fields, add them to an Excel sheet and then add all gathered locations by hand back into the new system, whilst also setting the new settings for them.

39 unique products that were gathered over 190+ sku objects... (Somebody didn't get object oriented, or was trying to KISS themselves, clearly...)

That's 6 hours of extra work for a stupid fuck up.. Oops? (:

Is waiting for an email a good enough reason to do fuck all and go on devrant?

LLVM. Fun as fuck. Especially when all the C++ API examples from online don't even compile anymore.

fuck sockets, all my niggas query rest endpoints with setintervals

Fuck all this sites trying to track my ass! I'm ditching the Internet 👀

Na only joking 😂