Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG

Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP

this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT

next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)

Website: We care about your privacy and don't sell your information to third parties.

*inspects Privacy Badger*
*notices a truckload of Google/facebook trackers/ad thingies*

Yeah why don't you go fuck yourself.

Google: this sha-1 collision is really gonna fuck up the internet more than anything else today

Cloudflare: hold my beer

CloudBleed

If you use Google photos: fine, your choice.

If your choice of using Google photos results in a picture with me in it getting uploaded to Google: I'll fucking end you.

boss: What the fuck guys! Why didn't you go to the meeting this morning? Have you checked your google calendar?
me: But, but it is scheduled to tomorrow, google calendar says that.
boss: Who put that date?
me: You
boss:....
boss:And fo you double checked it?
me: What do you mean?
boss: Double check! Check if what is in the google calendar is correct!
me: But that doesn't make any sense.
boss: No excuses!! Next time you must double check!

Oh fuck off Google.

YouTube has stories now.

Brb going to throw up in a trash can. The most fucking stupid feature for YouTube.

Useless Google Shortener API.
It allows 1M requests per day.
But has a max rate limit of 1 request/second. There are 86400 seconds in a day. Why are you giving a 1M requests limit then?

List of things that my fucking corporate proxy blocks

* Maven
* The NPM registry
* Github

List of things that aren't blocked

* Google drive
* Twitter
* Porn

Half my mobile data is burned away by NPM sinkholes. Fuck this place.

Just had to use Google maps for the first time in ages because nothing else was working.

It displayed a bus stop at a wrong location. I just fucking missed my bus.

Thanks for nothing, Google, go fuck yourself.

"Google does it". I hate that sentence. It's always the beginning of an unreasonable expectation.

Perhaps if we had as much devs as Google we could do it too. But we are 2 devs spread over 15 projects, so fuck off.

It's hard to use Google Voice when you're a bilingual.

Me *driving in car*: Ok Google, open Spotify..

Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thế nào để Open Spotify (Not sure how to to "Open Spotify" - in Vietnamese)

Me: Ok Google, mở Spotify (same command in Vietnamese)

Google *beep*: Not sure how to "mở Spotify"...

Me *frustrated*: Ok Google, f*ck you!

Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thể nào để "fuck you" (Not sure how to "fuck you" - in Vietnamese)

f*cking Google Voice :|

Disclaimer: I can't 'officially' verify this.

I've been using Firefox as main browser with about 5 addons for added privacy for ages now. When googles (fucking) reCaptcha takes more than a few minutes on Firefox (about 90 percent of the time, I'm estimating), I switch to Chromium (with the same amount of (similar) privacy addons) so I can go on with my stuff.

Now, I recently thought 'why not try to do user agent spoofing on Firefox to see if reCaptcha would start working 'normally'?

So, I installed a user agent spoofing addon on Firefox/Chromium, results:

Without spoofing:

Firefox reCaptcha success rate: 10 percent approx. (mostly 2+ minutes)
Chromium: 90 percent. (mostly instant)

With spoofing:
Firefox: 90 percent approx.
Chromium: 10-20 percent approx.

Again, I can't prove any of this yet but mother of fucking god, whenever using Chromium or spoofing Chromium on Firefox the succession rate skyrockets.

Google, what the fuck are you up to?

Who the fuck on earth named it Chef. You idiots, if I google Chef I get people wearing aprons on my browser. And what the fuck is cookbooks, cookbooks for chef returns 60 ways of making chicken. Who on earth has such naming convention for IT DevOps. Recipe, cookbooks, knife. Dafuq is wrong.

Mother of fucking god, its astonishing to see how difficult it is to entirely block out Google from your computer.

Actually, its very easy and I wrote something to automate that but the second you block out that goddamned mass surveillance network, every login page of every goddamn site with a fucking recaptcha just doesn't work anymore.

Google, go fuck yourself and with that, every motherfucking site which uses recaptcha.

Ah, let me open my half baked personal Android project. Maybe I'll finish it this time.

*opens Android studio*

"You have shitloads of updates. Please download and restart now"

Ok, makes sense. I haven't opened it for a month.

*runs the app*

"CoolApp has crashed"

What the fuck? It was all working before. WTF happened.

*half an hour of online research*

The google play service version is somehow fucked up. So let's fix that.

*App opens*

Yay! Let me login right away!

*Login via google doesn't work*

I didn't even touched the bloody code.

*another half an hour of research. Nothing works*

Fuck this shit.

#define f fuck

I think it's time to fing start carrying my fing phone around in a fing metal box !

f Google !
f it again !

Just took apart my laptop to dust it out from the inside. Had it back together, put the battery in. "Alright, time to make sure I didn't break something"

Beep....beep beep beep....beep beep beep....beep

"FUCK I FUCKING BROKE SOMETHING WHAT DID I BREAK?"

Google Lenovo post codes (Thinkpad laptop). DIMM issue.

"Oh fuck I forgot to put the RAM back in.."

Perfect now

I have multiple but one of my biggest ones:

Build an entire suite of services which can replace the popular Google/microsoft/facebook (etc) services.

Of course: privacy respecting, preferrably everything possible end-to-end encrypted.

Because fuck mass surveillance and those companies and if I can do anything to fuck them (quite literally) and help people getting to user friendly alternatives, I'll do the best I can.

So I heard (a while ago) from one of my teachers at my previous study that they're waiting for the new european data protection laws to kick in so that they'll be able to start using Google for everything.

That would mean that every student is required to have a (school/school domain though) Google account.

"The data will remain in this country"

Yeah fuck off I'm not going to believe google on it's 'blue eyes'.

It's sad how an educational institution can force their students into a mass surveillance network. Really makes me angry as hell.

Luckily I got out before they're going to implement this.

And here I am creeped the fuck out by Google (as always) suggesting me to take photos of the bakery I'm at while having location and WiFi turned off :)

Installed my pihole a few days ago and not a very high percentage blocked.

Added google/facebook/twitter and some more to the wildcard (regex) blacklist and BAM, so many blocked queries!

Fuck Google, Facebook, twitter and other mass surveillance companies.

I relay on Google maps as fuck. I don't know what I would do without it.

Decided to try and remove everything google from my phone by using a root app uninstaller since my phone runs the stock rom.

Thought it would break my phone and was preparing for a recovery flash...

I now run a stock rom without anything Google 😍

Even signal works fine with a background websocket connection.

Google, unkindly go fuck yourself.

This is the right way to deal with GOOGLE and their ALGORITHMS. Confuse the fuck out of them.

FUCK GOOGLE.

FUCK THE GOOGLE PLAY REVIEW TEAM.

FUCK THEIR BOT GENERATED EMAILS.

FUCK THEIR DEVELOPER SUPPORT.

I am trying to launch a fucking action game. There will be fucking guns and muzzle flashes shown in the screenshots. Stop fucking rejecting the app. There is no blood in the icon or screenshots. Stop sending me bot generated emails and tell me what content is being flagged.

A little information on the whole scenario: My game was rejected so immediately I contacted the support as to what was the issue. The guy told me 2 screenshots were flagged because they had the muzzle flashes and damage indicator (call of duty type which tells the direction from where the bullets are coming from). So I removed the screenshots and still the game was rejected. FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. SAME GOES FOR APPLE.

It's funny to see when certain stuff works without realizing it.

I've got multiple vpn servers and whenever I connect to one it sets my DNS to my pihole's one (hosted on one of my dedicated servers).

I keep forgetting to change my search engine to duckduckgo and no matter what I search for, no page is/was loading and manually have/had to go to duckduckgo.

Then I suddenly realized: the pihole has blacklisted Google so I literally can't connect to google.com/nl!

Awesome 😊

It's very satisfying to setup Pi-Hole on a vps, point your dns to it, adding the words Facebook and Google to the wildcard blacklist and seeing that literally any request containing either one of those words gets blocked.

On the other hand, it's funny to see that devRant (devrantron) performs around 1k+ requests to devRant every 15 minutes.

Fuck you google chrome ...just because I use Windows and have only 4 gigs of RAM doesn't mean you can just shit on my RAM.

Some companies be like-

.. In job posting - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

..in Introduction - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

.. in Interviews - We are the next big thing. We are already changing the industry. Think of us like Google / Facebook etc...

.. during Interviews - Our interview process is rigorous because we are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

.. questions in interviews - Since we are Google / Facebook, please answer questions on Java, C/C++, JS, react, angular, data structure, html, css, C#, algorithms, rdbms, nosql, python, golang, pascal, shell, perl...
.. english, french, japanese, arabic, farsi, Sinhalese..
.. analytics, BigData, Hadoop, Spark,
.. HTTP(s), tcp, smpp, networking,.

..

..

..

.. starwars, dark-knight, scarface, someShitMovie..

You must be willing to work anytime. You must have 'no-excuses' attitude

.........................................

Now in Salary - Oh... well... yeah... see.... that actually depends on your previous package. Stocks will be given after 24 re-births. Joining bonus will be given once you lease your kidneys.

But hey, look... We got free food.

Well, SHOVE THAT FOOD UPTO YOUR ASS.

FUCK YOU...
FUCK YOUR 'COOL aka STUPID PIZZA BEER - CULTURE'.
FUCK YOUR 'FLAT- HIERARCHY'.
FUCK YOUR REVOLUTIONARY-PRODUCT.

FUCK YOU!

I really fucking hate when people or companies do shit like this..

Apparently Google is changing the salad emoji, which is a bowl that contains lettuce, tomato, egg, onion and stuff like that, to the same, but without the egg.

Why you may ask?
Well.. they did it to "make it a more inclusive vegan salad".
ITS JUST SOME WHITE PIXELS FOR FUCKS SAKE. How would any vegan, besides the crazy ones, be upset about a moist egg in their crisp salad?

I cant even.. im out of words.. fuck.

Additionally, the news page i read it on have been so kind to host a poll of what people think about it, whether its a good idea or not.

Ill let the image speak for itself, if you really need a translation, dont use google translate, ask in the comments.

Setup a pi to be functioning as vpn server and pihole tonight.

Now working on a Jasper voice assistant on another pi, because I can choose for offline speech processing and don't have to use a mass surveillance network for this (google).

Today is a good day.

Me: Okay Google, call Dad.
Google Now: Which Dad?

Fuck you Google.

Do you know what annoys the living fuck out of me?
Me: no...?
Me: may I tell?
Me: yes, please do!
Me: okay here we go:

Sites which use Google fonts or apis or ajax or other Google-hosted libraries.

It takes fucking ages to load those sites (if they lost et-all) since I block as much as possible from that cocksucking mass surveillance network.

Google, feel free to die in a fucking corner while getting an acid shower and being stripped of your skin layer by layer, as slow as possible to increase the pain and suffering.

If I'm lucky this time and my phone gets repaired correctly, I'll finally have a googleless android phone again in a little.

Google may die in a fucking corner all alone, the sooner the better.

I've recently red a blog post stating 'Google leaves x Million Android devices vulnerable to a new Exploit'
I don't really sympathize with Google, but it's simply the wrong message... It should be more like FUCK VENDORS, WHO WON'T SUPPLY UPDATES TO DEVICES OLDER THAN 1.5 YEARS
Seriously, it's them who make you stuck on outdated OS versions... Just imagine you could only install Windows Vista on your 2014 Lenovo ThinkPad, because it's considered outdated...
FUCK VENDORS (again, just in case)

Tutanota (encrypted mail service) is releasing a new android app soon which won’t be using GCM anymore so that the app won’t be the reason a phone connects to anything google anymore and it’ll be on F-Droid soon!

Fuck yeah, Turanota, I fucking love you ❤️

Started working on a pihole alternative a while ago.

I like pihole a lot but one of the features I am missing is to be able to define a list of mass surveillance related domains (Snowden leaks; PRISM program and such) and show statistics based on dns queries containing blacklisted domains, prases/words and surveillance-related domains/words (google/facebook/microsoft/apple etc).

Started working on one based on an existing (php based) dns server which is open source and slowly but surely developed something which worked.
Then, I found out that the php resolving function (dns resolving) uses the system default, which can, of course, be google's dns as well. Changing this would be ideal but while the documentation suggested that it could be done some way, it didn't work for me so I chose a library which can do it with specific dns servers (to use as external dns servers).
This library used a different way of showing the retrieved dns query results and really wasn't in for converting everything by hand so i kinda quit the project a while ago.

A few days ago I thought fuck it and started again.
Now have a working version based on the new dns resolving library and made some other good improvements.

For those who are wondering why I chose PHP for this: why the fuck not?

Happy happy happy.

preface: swearing.
because anger.

So. I'm trying to use Material Design with Material UI. The components and UI look *great*.

It's from google, though, which really pisses me off. but I like what I can do with the UI.

HOWEVER.
I really want a grid system for responsiveness. because obviously. besides, i really hate doing all the responsive shit myself. it sucks and i hate it.

Material Design does not include a grid system. okay, it includes a grid component, but it's not for site layout. it's for making a grid of images. or something.

What it does include is a lot of very lengthy documentation on what you should do, complete with fancy graphics saying "THIS IS HOW YOU MUST DO IT OR YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG" -- but they don't actually support it! you must do it all yourself.

Why oh why would they tell you how you must do things if they don't provide the tools to make it possible? fucking google.

You might decide it's a grand idea to interject at this moment and say: "there are plenty of tools out there that allow you to do this!" And sure, you'd be right. however -- and i think this might just barely might be worth mentioning -- THEY REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Hey, let's look at some of the classes! So clear and semantic! This one was nice and simple: "xs4" -- but wtf does that mean? okay, it apparently means 4 columns as they'd appear on an extra-small layout. How does that work on a large layout? Who knows. Now, how about "c12"? okay, maybe 12 columns? but how does that display on a phone with a layout small enough to only have 4 columns? i don't know! they don't know! nobody knows!

oh oh oh oh. and my particular favorite: "mdc-layout-grid__cell mdc-layout-grid__cell--align-bottom" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm not writing a goddamn novel! and that one claims to be from google itself. either they've gone insane or someone's totally lying. either way, fuck them.

SO. TERRIBLENESS ASIDE.

Instead of using Material Design v0.fuckoff that lacks any semblance of a grid layout, I figure I'll try v1.0 alpha that actually has one supported natively. It's new and supports everything I need. There's no way this can't be a good idea.

The problem is, while it's out and basically usable, none of the React component libraries fucking work with it. Redux-Form doesn't work with it either because it doesn't understand nested compound controls, and hacking it to work at least triples the boilerplate. So, instead, I have to use some other person's "hey, it's shitty but it works for me" alpha version of someone else's project that works as a wrapper on top of Redux-Form that makes all of this work. yeah, you totally followed that. Kind of like a second-cousin-twice-removed sort of project adding in the necessary features and support all the way down. and ofc it doesn't quite work. because why would things ever be easy?

like seriously, come on.
What i'm trying to do isn't even that bloody hard.

Do I really have to use bootstrap instead?
fuck that.

then again, fuck this significantly more.

UGH.

devRant is truly amazing, a social network where I don't have to give up on privacy by giving out my number to confirm that I am legit when I'd use something as a VPN to protect my identity (unlike twitter facebook and google)

Thanks for giving a fuck about privacy and not giving a fuck about my data

Since my one plus is gone and I can’t stand my fucking iPhone I finally bought a new phone.

Couldn’t find a new one with my required specs which was compatible with Lineage but at least found this rootable one so I can block any google app from reaching the outside.

The specs though 😍

Google! What the fuck are you doing with your design?!

Just updated my chromebook and what the fuck is this ui!

Yesterday was the day.
The day I finally got asked for help on fixing a printer;

And finally telling in freaking polite German to fuck off, google the problem, never ask a programming nerd again for this shit - and to understand that printers are evil monsters

Based on a true story that happened right now.

Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"

Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"

Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"

"We are a privacy focused company that places the user first"

Alrightm, let's check:
dig domain.com MX

Well, another company talking shit, MX record points to google.
Fuck off

Finally got my phone (oneplus one) screen repaired.

When home, I'll set it up again so I'll finally have a device which isn't integrated within any Google malware/mass surveillance bullshit.

Using a phone with Google services honestly makes me feel uncomfortable 🤢

Living in Iran I've seen the 403 message so much that I just wanted to yell fuck you google!

Fleksy, if you're going to tell me through a fucking annoying notification that you won't run unless I update Google play services (those can go fuck themselves, I'm not updating that fucking malware) one more goddamn time, I'll fucking exterminate you.

i am BEYOND pissed at google.

as some of you know, i recently got android studio to run on a chromebook (you read that right), but it being a chromebook and google being a protective fucktard of their crappy operating system, i had to boot into bios every time i started it.

when i was with some friends, i started up the chromebook, and left, after telling my friends how to boot the chromebook.

ten seconds and literally one press of the esc button later, he broke the entire thing.

but that's not what that rant was about, i honestly knew it would happen eventually (although, this wasn't the best time).

so now this screen pops up.

"chrome os is damaged or missing, please insert a usb recovery drive" or something like that.

well, i'll create one. simple enough.

no wait, this is google, just your average 750 billion dollar company who cares more about responsive design then a product actually responding.

i started to create the recovery usb. of course, chrome developers thought it would be a good idea to convert the old, working fine, windows executable usb recoverer, and replace with with a fucking chrome extension.

i truly hope someone got fired.

so, after doing everything fine with the instructions, it got to the part where it wrote the os image to the usb. the writing stayed at 0%.

now this was a disk thing, writing os's and shit, so i didn't want to fuck it up. after waiting ten minutes, i pressed 'cancel.'

i tried again many times, looked things up, and frantically googled the error. i even tried the same search queries on bing, yahoo, duckduckgo and ecosia because i had the feeling google secretly had tracked me over the past 7 years and decided to not help me after all the times i said google was a fucker or something similar.

google is a fucker.

after that, i decided to fuck with it, even if it formats my fucking c drive.

i got to the same point where the writing got stuck at 0% and proceeded to fuck. i start spamming random keys, and guess what?

after i press enter, it started.

what the fuck google?
1000s of people read the article on how to make the recovery drive. why not tell them to press the goddamn enter key?

i swear there are hundreds of other people in my same situation. and all they have to do is press one fucking key???

maybe tell those people who tried to fix the shit product you sold them.

fuck you google.

You would think for a company as big as Google they would be able to write good fucking documentation but nope!

Fuck me it's more spaghetti than my code!

A big FUCK YOU to chrome, and a big FUCK YOU to google in generally. First the hell that is code.org, then the chrome. I genuinely want to open a dictionary in google to see if the word "privacy" is in there. Sure, first it was tracking users with by making them agree to a long ass TOS no one wants to read except lawyers, then barely even giving any info and asking for consent with YOUR data, but this is too far. For all you that dont know, LanSchool is an application that allows teachers to see students screens, internet history and more. Its the reason kids can't play games in English class. But most importantly, its a chrome extension. We have to do assignments from home right? So when we logon to the school account from home, LANSCHOOL GETS DOWNLOADED ANYRACKS EVERYTHING I DO. It pains me how teachers can view so much information unfairly because of some unknowing students, my friends privacy was unfairly in the hands of google and the school system. Right when I found out about tit (~2 mins after i first logged on) i made an Ubuntu VM just for goddamn google docs. Back to my friend, he went on some websites not to be considered appropriate, and got in huge trouble. He was completely unaware of the fact that they could see his screen, and I resent google for allowing a third party to manipulate my PERSONAL COMPUTER without my consent. Die google, you ruined android, which had so much potential, and now the web and virtual privacy. You should be <strike>ashamed</strike> dead, and I hope in the future you realize that one day people will have common sense.

Fuck Google Chrome and fuck you too MSI...
Why the hell would you not allow me to register my motherfucking MSI motherboard without installing Chrome first.

We are now at this point where Web Devs are refusing to make a simple shitty html form work unless it is running in Google Chrome...

You know what? Shove a big fat horse dildo up your ass.. I'm not registering this piece of shit and if I find the dev behind this, I will shove the entire MoBo up their ass without lube just to watch them scream in pain and agony.

Just managed to setup a tiny/simple privacy-friendly analytics system.

You basically call an api from your backend with the api key and all the headers you received from the browser (php and Apache or nginx in my case) and the analytics api gets useful stuff out of that data without sacrificing privacy.

I get a little bit more insight into my websites usage and the client isn't sacrificing identifiable information!

I've been wanting to make this fucker for fucking months.

Fucking hate sites with great SEO but shitty user experience like Quora. Top of Google but requires a login or else it's locked down like some university cheat site.

Fuck your low quality answers hidden behind a useless blurry paywall. You're a glorified Q&A. Go fuck yourself

So. Let me get this straight.

Google can design a mass surveillance system to give me ad suggestions based on sentences I whisper to someone across the room..

But they can't build a fucking keyboard that can spell the word "licenses"?

fuck firebase docs, fuck material ui, fuck google

People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google

FUCK RECAPTCHA.
FUCK GOOGLE FOR MAKING RECAPTCHA.
FUCK IT

"Don't be evil." My foot.

When you teach someone to use git and all.of a sudden you are required to supply all the answers when they run into problems:/

I tried to point them to Google and they still keep coming back. Why the fuck did I do this to myself?

I say it with all of my heart:
FUCK YOU google analytics spammers!

FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING USELESS PILES OF CRAP

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T COMPANIES JUST TEST THEIR FUCKING APPS FOR ONCE?!?

LINKEDIN GOES INTO A FUCKING CAPTCHA LOOP

SNAPCHAT/INSTAGRAM ARE AS SLOW AND ATTRACTIVE AS A SLIGHTLY RUNNY SHIT

ROCKSTAR IS FULL OF MONGS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WORKING FUCKING GAME

GOOGLE IS FULL OF PERVERTED FUCKERS WHO TRACK YOU EVERYTIME YOU LOOK UP A FUCKING RECIPE.

FUCK THIS WORLD, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BIG COMPANIES JUST MAKE SOFTWARE WITH THE USERS IN FUCKING MIND?!?!?

FUCK ME, I'M ANGRY

Just spent hours, debugging why a system is creating two objects in the database when trying to create one.

Turns out it is Chrome re-sending a POST request.

Really.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Google.

Google Insights updates their image score algorithm. Now all our website scores dropped from ~90 to 20 - 50. Guess who needs to resize all the freaking images. Fuck me.

If your site asks me to log in and doesn't implement OAuth with Google or at the very least Facebook then go fuck yourself.
I have enough usernames and passwords in my head, I don't want more.

WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.. I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT BECAUSE MY FUCKING PHONE VIBRATED UNDER MY FUCKING PILLOW WHICH I KNOW ISN'T VERY HEALTHY BUT WHATEVER, I CHECK MY PHONE AND IT'S A GODDAMN GOOGLE PLAY AD... IN THE FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS. THEY FUCKING SENT ME AN APP SUGGESTION IN MY NOTIFICATIONS EVEN THOUGH THAT OPTION IS SPECIFICALLY TURNED OFF IN THE FUCKING SETTINGS.
FUCK YOU GOOGLE YOU BOTNET GREEDY BLOATED "muh AI" PIECE OF SHIT. I HOPE YOUR SERVERS IN ALL CONTINENTS GET BURNED DOWN BY SOME SADIST NIHILIST HACKER WITH A 0DAY AND YOU SEIZE TO EXIST.

Goodnight.

Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.

Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes

On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.

So yeah, Fuck You Google
..|.

"Condor, your new Samsung Galaxy S8+ doesn't have the latest Google apps"

You know what Google? I don't give a shit about your latest apps. Often times I go out of my way to root the device and remove your mandatory bloatware, that YOU fucking Google enforce OEM's to preinstall. Fortunately BlueStacks doesn't have them preinstalled, which saves me the pain of uninstalling them. Given that, you've got quite the balls to spam me with this shit Google.

By the way, another thing.. this preinstall shit is linked to the EU antitrust rulings, isn't it? And spam is linked to GDPR, and honestly I don't recall ever opting in to this kind of wanketeering mail. In fact, I usually go out of my way to opt out of this kind of corporate wankery. Time for another huge fine perhaps?

WTF?!? Why do I have to sign in to your app, but can only uns „Sign in with Google“ and „Sign in with Facebook“? Well fuck you and your app, not gone use it than!!!

What is this, what the fuck is this shit?!!
Are you actually serious Google? Android Studio my ass...
The compat joke is a good one...

Next task list of an Adobe developer:

1. Fuck something up so that the user has to google for the simplest possible functionality.

Fuck these google home ads, keep triggering my google home in the kitchen. I just want to watch youtube while cooking not "ok google, going go bed" and then TURN OFF All MY FUCKING LIGHTS.

Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*

It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.

I'll never be impressed with technology until Android soft keyboard gets hidden when tapped outside an EditText

Sometimes I want to fuck customers with 30 samurai methods ! A few minutes ago, some one called me and asked me to make a website like Google for him with 500$ 😑

We need to fill a Google form for some formalities at college. They want us to fill our parents' anniversary date as well. Why the fuck?

Thankfully, the field is not marked as compulsory to fill else I'd be paranoid as hell (still am tho).

YouTube, why the fuck do you put ads at the end of the video? Who's gonna watch those?! I'm not a marketer but I do know that people watch ads in expectation of something better. Who.. who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?! Fire that certified piece of shit marketing cunt already! What the fuck is even wrong with you nowadays Google?! Pinnacle of tech company my ass.

Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?

A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:

"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"

GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!

No! I refuse 😠😭

Why are you killing THE best mail client of all time google, why? 😭😭😭

Just spent an hour trying to fix a bug on my Xamarin app that only affected the android project. Finally decided to Google it and figured out it's a Xamarin bug. FUCK YOU XAMARIN GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROOMSTICK WITH NO LUBE.

You dumb bitch. I will get to your fucking low level ticket when I’m done doing more important shit. How do you have a job if you don’t know how to use fucking excel?! GOOGLE IT you fuck!

Who holds the #1 Google spot for these queries?

fuck c#: devRant
fuck typescript: devRant
fuck xcode: devRant
fuck product owner: devRant

fuck docker: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck java: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck agile: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck scrum: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck sql: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck node: reddit (devRant is 3)
fuck php: github (devRant is 4)
fuck python: github (devRant is 4)
fuck clojure: reddit (devRan't didn't rank on first page)
fuck rust: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)
fuck scala: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)

fuck ruby: **am I still connected to the company VPN? I might have some explaining to do** (devRant didn't rank)

*enters in restaurant*
After 15sec new notification
*Write your review for this place, to help others*
At least let me see the godamn Menu first.
Fuck you google

Yknow, I want to make an android app that I have in my mind for about half a year now and I already tried twice, both with Kotlin and with Java but everytime I try it's just pain and suffering and frustration...

No it's not because of the language, I like Java and I like Kotlin too and I'd say I'm at least decent at Kotlin and really good in Java...

No no.. the issue is the fucking Android SDK and the mix-and-match documentation available online!!!

Every fucking time I want to implement some sort of UI element, user action or a background service and I start googling how to do it It comes with with at least 3 different stack overflow solutions, all of them saying "that way of doing it is deprecated, instead you should X" and looking up the OFFICIAL FUCKING DOCS it will just make me roll up in the corner and cry because of how fucking inconsistent it is and the retarded domain language it uses... fucking transactions for fucking fragments inside fucking activities... because I guess the word "screen"/"view"/"template" or something similar natural just was too mainstream for the all knowing alphabet soup that google is...

And then you start looking up what the fucking difference even is and how to code it up only to find out there's at least 12 other opinions on how fragments should be used and what should be an activity and what should be a damn fragment...

But that's not all, that's just the base... I get a headache even thinking about how the fucking inflating of templates and the entire R. notation works. You want to open a fucking tiny corner menu with the settings options? WELL THEN YOU FUCKING BETTER REMEMBER TO IMPLEMENT IT THROUGH SOME SORT OF EVENT AND INFLATE THE MENU YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH STATIC STRINGS...

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED LIKE 4 NEW FILES TO IMPLEMENT A FUCKING LISTVIEW...
also talking about ListViews... what was wrong with "ListView"... Why do we need a "RecyclerView"... oh right... because the fucks fucked the fuck up and all the legacy components were designed by a monkey and are next to useless! SO WE NEEDED A NEW NAME FOR THE FIXED VERSION, CANT NAME IT LISTVIEW AGAIN... FUCK YOU...

honestly... if I got a dolar for every "what the fuck android" I said during trying to understand that mess I'd be richer by a few hundred...

oh oh oh, but you know what? You don't like the android SDK? that's fine, you can use fucking React or Flutter or something... yeah.. because instead of torturing myself with the android SDK I want to torture myself with an abstraction of the same SDK and JavaScript as the fucking cherry on top... HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN THE CODE FLUTTER SHOWS ON THEIR WEBSITE AS THE "Introduction" ?!!!

Look at this piece of shit:

[code in attached image, we could really use a proper Markdown support at least for rants]

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE ENTIRE THING, THAT'S JUST THE *REALLY* UGLY PART...

The fucking nesting... What is it with JS and all the fucking nesting everytime?! It looks like shit.... It reads like shit as well...

WHY, in the name OF FUCK, IS THERE MORE THAN 5 ANDROID FRAMEWORKS and ALL of them... used this FUCKING NOVEL idea of programming using A FUCKING BRACKET WALL

It always looks like:
(code(code[code{code(code{code()})}]));

If I wanted to make a fucking app or a website using fucking Haskell I'd do that.... at this point reading assembly code feels like heaven compared to this retardation... Why is this so popular?! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN IT?! Clearly it's not the aesthetics... it looks like a fucking frog vomit running down an emus leg, fuck that.... I don't even hate classic JavaScript, it's a good enough language and it does what I tell it to... but these ugly fucking frameworks like react, angular and whatever else uses this fucking format can go fuck right off. This is not the way JS is gonna get a better name for itself...

So:
Fuck Google

Fuck the marionette that designed the Android SDK

Fuck the Hellspawn the came up with the "functional-like" way of using JavaScript

Fuck everyone that thinks "JavaScript everywhere" is a good thing

And deeply future-fuck everyone that makes a new framework following any of these standards, stucks a .js at the end of the name and releases his hairball.js of an invention into the fucking world....

It's a mess... fuck everything android related...

!rant

In GitHub I'm more social. Fuck you Google and Fb 🖕🏼

So according to google domains I just put in a transfer request 5 days in the future... Fuck me I need to learn to contain these powers...

I've been swapping through a couple of ROM's recently for my Nexus 6P but I don't really like any of them a whole lot.. so I've been thinking to build my own from source. However I'd also like to discard Google while I'm at it, and instead go with F-droid, DuckDuckGo, and AOSP keyboard. The problem is that I currently don't see any viable alternatives to the following: Google Assistant, Google Play Services (particularly in-app purchases like those for devRant), Google Maps and Google Calendar. Which alternatives would you recommend, and which are you perhaps using yourself as alternatives? Thanks!

Microsoft: Here's are simple to use Office suite which works offline and online with powerful features.

Google: Our suite is FREE. FREE. FREE. It's shitty, broken, and works only online.
If you want to use it offline, you can go fuck yourself. But hey! It's free.

There is no technical reason why Microsoft should buy Github, no!
It's the same reason why they bought Skype, LinkedIn and Minecraft and everything else: Money and monopolisation.
That's destructive and an obstacle to progress.
Microsoft, Google, Apple, Facebook: Go fuck yourself!

PSA:

Just started using Firefox nightly. It has an add on called "super dark mode" that automatically converts ANY site you visit to a dark theme.

#How the fuck did I use Chrome till now.

Why the fuck does YouTube shows me ads about wix and other Website creation Tools? Google you know better then anyone what Job i have and even know that i have a Google play developer account connected with my google account.

Google has a password reset procedure so intense, that even if I can sign into my recovery account and give them the code from there, use 2 factor auth and give them the code from there, tell them my recovery phone(s) number(s), give them my mother's father's mother's late cousin twice removed daughter's maiden name, and whatever other security measures were set in place, I can't get a fucking password reset. Thanks Google, fuck you.

Google: the newest android pie is based on user feedback.
The system clock: *is now on the left*
Me: WHO THE FUCK ASKED FOR THIS SHIT? WHY CAN'T I MOVE IT BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE?

Many people on here have ranted about YouTube showing wix ads to people who are clearly web developers. Well after I didn't react to the ads YouTube now decided to show me the same fucking ad in Spanish. What the fuck Google why Spanish of all languages?

Googles definition of assembler in germany: "a simple programming language" ... Seems legit

Oh look a new chrome update!

*Installs update*

I regret everything!!!!

Come on Google I love material design but fuck me is the new update ugly... Besides the new tab page.

Fuck u Google ! 749$ ? U must be fucking nuts ...😣

What the actual fuuuuuuck?! Google, can you just stop making improooovments on ui that is making your apps work/look like shit?!
Fuck I'm pissed.. 😒

When a subordinate doesn't have the initiative to even google what's causing the error. fuck fuck fuck

google

FUCKING google doesn't allow our country to buy FUCKING partner or reseller program.

So what the fuck do we do as an agency, we have to fucking treat every domain and google business suites as seperate entities.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHIT WITH THAT?
WE HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW THEIR ADMIN PASSWORD TO FUCKING MANAGE THEIR GOOGLE SUITE ACCOUNTS.

IT IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

I HATE GOOGLE FOR THAT REASON ALONE.

I can care less of how much data you gonna steal from me.

FUCK FIREBASE, FUCK CLOUD MESSAGING, FUCK GOOGLE, FUCK APPLE, FUCK PUSH NOTIFICATIONS, FUCK PROGRAMMING AND FUCK MY LIFE. JUST TELL ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY NOTIFICATIONS IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE LINE OF THE FUCKING CODE. AND IT'S BEEN ONLY ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST TIME I TESTED IT.

So, I recently switched to DuckDuckGo and my fucking college REDIRECTS THE FUCKING URL TO FUCKING GOOGLE.

FUCK YOU!!!!!

Fuck Google and it's shitty documentation.

Web dev prob:

When you modify a code then refresh your browser, It doesn't change anything and you think your code has the problem, Modifies 100+ lines and refreshed the page, still nothing happens. Asked someone about it, Fix? Fucking cache! Fuck you google chrome!

My boss wants to use Google Calendar instead of Trello from now on. What the fuck man...

fuck it, i'm going to write a personal oauth2 service

pretty soon on websites you'll see a sign in with google button, and sign in with github button, and a sign in with danny button

Fuck this shit.. I don't fucking know shit about using Facebook or Google+... I'm a fucking programmer, just because I work with computers I don't have to know how you're supposed to go about making your fucking Facebook page...damn this gets on my nerves.

WHY THE FUCK DOES AUTOCOMPLETE = "OFF" GET IGNORED 😡😡😡

managed to find a work around for the password field, but god forbid there's one for the username field 👿

I feel like I've tried everything google has to offer

Everytime I try to learn a new language/framework I google "fuck <language> reddit", "why <framework> sucks reddit", etc...

Speaking of annoying stuff in coding. What the fuck is it with the localized error messages?

No. Fuck you. No. Give me the English version so I can google it and find answers from the huge English speaking community instead of the tiny community of my language.

So decided 'fuck it lets try the chromium based edge on my PC and Mac...'

And you know fucking what... It is actually fucking awesome, as much as I love Google (Fight me) and dislike Microsoft products, I can honestly recommend the new Edge over Google Chrome or any from of Chromium...

Thank-you for coming to my TED X talk....

I hate it when projects says "join our mailing list" and it is hosted by google. Fuck it

Yeah sex is great, but have you tried using duckduckgo shebangs?

The fuck is wrong with android development?!
Every little shit app depends on Google-Services.
Oh you want this app that essentially just keeps track of your homework?
Well fuck you, because we decided to display a login-with-google popup at the start and now, the app won't run if you use an ungoogled ROM.

Polite way to say fuckoff

excuse yourself from the person and start typing
" what is the polite way to say fuck off to person" in google while saying words in moderate voice. Another person should hear you or see your screen and get the hint!

"We totally know everything about SEO, you should trust us and pay us so your website is #01 because we know how Google ranks their shit" (not literally)

No fuck you. No one knows how google ranks pages. No one. And your pseudo information is even free to find on the first google result about seo that is above yours. Oh look, they must be better than you with that.

Oh fuck off Google with your data grabbing slimy ethics...

RANT:
Google is just a steaming pile of shit!!

I've recently installed LineageOS onto my phone and wanted to degooglify my life.

So my current Smartphone doesn't have any GApps installed and I get along fairly well.

Should I need anything, I should just be able to use it in my browser right?
RIGHT?

Nono!! As soon as I want to log into a third party Service using Google (older acccounts with the other choice only being Facebook) I need to "verify my identity". And the only option are my old smartphone who still have Gapps on it but are slow and don't accessible when I'm away!

For those who say: "Google is just beeing secure. They don't want anyone to steal your account.". I USE 2FA AND HAVE BACKUP CODES.
BEFORE DEGOOGLING MY DEVICE IT NEVER ASKED SUCH A THING!!! WHAT A PILE OF SPYING SHIT!!!

And the best part, after I remotely started my PC at home and just want to take a screenshot of the message for this post before just using a working session, the message didn't appear.
Somehow google decided that me logging in 15 mins later (same ip) proves my identity?!?!?!

IF THIS CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO AI. FUCK THIS SHIT. GOOGLED SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE AN ONLINE CASINO BECAUSE THE CHANCE OF JUST GETTING LOGGED SEEMS COMPLETELY RANDOM!!!

(I also had this prior when using my smartphone browser. There I couldn't "circumvent" this and I was at home. But having this shit on my browser which should've a session is unacceptable.)

Just spent an hour looking at the NYC Subway maps vs the direction Google wanted me to take.

Google found the most efficient way is to take E train then transfer to R which then goes back a bit like a U-turn to get to my stop.

Then looking at the subway map, I can just take the R train... Since none of these trains are express... How the fuck did Google think that A-B-C is faster than A-C....

could never figure out how to configure ssl because of google clouds insanely complicated documentation.

today i found a digital ocean guide that explains its a simple installation of certbot, run it once and set it to auto renew....

fuck you google

fuck google! fuck the people updating the android OS! fuck android!

first you guys removed the feature to connect wifi using WPS and then promised to bring it back but instead brought a completely different feature

then you make all the clipboard manager apps obsolete. only keyboard apps can be clipboard manager otherwise the rest of them are screwed.

app needs my location permission just so that it can turn on my wifi! wtf!

app needs bluetooth, wifi & location just so that it can send data from one device to another device offline? why bluetooth? are we going back to 1970s?

fuck you google! fuck android!

I really wish some other companies fork it and removes all the clutters and makes it better.

What's up with all of these unstable updates at the same time from Google and Microsoft?

First Microsoft releases an update that deletes My Documents

Then chrome on windows gets updated with a "eat your disk in addition to ram usage" that freezes my PC.

Like whatever happened to testing before releasing, least some minimal testing...

Then again, it's a fucking Microsoft product... -.-

!dev
Fuck you google!!
Let me send a mail to my shitty internet service provider with abusive words as much as possible.

Fucking gmail rejecting my message as spam by content filtering.

when undeveloped brain intern ask how to do something so fucking mundane, or simple as fuck shits which they can just google it in like 0.42069 femtoseconds.

I've deliberately searched a tonne of tech related stuff so my Google feed shows me tech news, but just because I live in Australia in getting bombarded with shit about the royal family.... I don't give a fuck how you pronounce Louis, I just want news!

What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!

Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link

Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.

WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!

Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!

What the actual fuck?!

For every problem the first guy we go to is Google .

~ Speaker at a Google meet

Don't give me Mobile First! Fuck That!

I dev on desktop, most users are on desktop, my client thinks desktop is most important, so why the hell should I put mobile first??

And doublefuck "Offline First".

Get back to earth Google!

I have no idea how the fuck it happens, but whenever my mom uses computer, somehow, she manages to end up with the stupid shit Ask and other useless shitty extensions taking over Google Chrome!

:/

One of main reason why I use Google as a search engine.

Me: Heads - Then I'll not use it.
Me: Okay google, toss a coin

GA: Sure,.... it's a tails.

Well.... fuck.

Bought a s8 only to fucking hate it again. FUCKING Bixby i dont fucking need you. FUCK you Samsung. I want Google fucking Assistant you piece of shit.

WHY DOES GOOGLE CHROME CACHE THIS SHIT AND WON'T LOAD IT AGAIN. I THOUGHT I DIDN'T FIX THE BUG BUT GOOGLE CHROME IS THE BUG. THIS FLYING FUCK

Fuck America. Fuck Google. They're just worried about the dominance of Huawei.

Why THE FUCK is Google Maps React just a gray rectangle unless we resize the window and it magically appears.

Urgh

"Kotlin, why the fuck would you want to introduce a better language for Android studio and still base it entirely on jvm, fuck you jetBrains and Google, you java dick sucking retards. "
LOL

FUCK YOU YOU SHITTY COCK SUCKING BITCH MOTHERFUCKER.

GO DIE IN A HOLE THEN GET RAPED IN HELL. I REALLY HATE THIS SHIT.

FUCK OFF GOOGLE.

moterfucking google stop wasting my time with your endless captcha bullshit.

You know exactly my fucking home IP, I don't have time to select your fucking bicycles, hydrants and buses.

And all you motherfuckers who use google captcha go fuck yourself because you are dumb as fuck

Fuck Google , fuck Android and in particular fuck you PlayStore. What the fucking fuck. Wanted to dowload an App -> please free 120mb on the Phone. Did that. Proceeded to download the App. 2.02mb
How the fuck

Come the fuck on!
AngularJS, or should I call it AidsJS, seems to magically stop sending data as 'form-data'.
2 hours of debugging and this rusty piece of junk won't bow down before my magic hands!
Go eat a rotten turd candy, Google!

Google: we want to crack down on adblockers in Chrome and remove APIs. If we threw out Chrome store extensions that use the old ad blocking APIs, Chromium forks would be hit as well, haha!

Vivaldi: we've integrated DuckDuckGo based ad and tracker blocking right into our Chromium based browser. Also for Android now, haha!

Me: *turns laptop on and indeed, it takes a fuckton of time*

fuck google

This is the best example of google giving a fuck about their own guidelines.

They always ram their expectations of you making your apps fit the guidelines a 100% into you, but then they give a fuck about heir guidelines in their own software.

They use a ListView here in google contacts. It's completely outdated for a large amount of data, such as my 200 contacts. They literally push you not to use outdated techniques such as ListViews in your app. Use RecyclerViews, our completely new solution instead. ListViews are very very bad in performance.

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS PICKY, BUT THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE!!! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR OWN GUIDELINES IN EVRY WAY! BEST OTHER EXAMPLE IS GOOGLE PLAY STORE. BAD PERFORMANCE 100%. BUT AT LEAST IT HAS RUCKLING ANIMATIONS.

Google translate is very(very) good at translating Chinese text....but it will fuck up translating despacito(if you don't know that song count yourself lucky...it flipping sucks but i used it for comic relief)

Wth Google how?

Guess Skynet is not a reality.
Chi-Net is.

Badum tsssss

6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.

Deploy on my cell.

Not compatible with android 4.4.4.

FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T3

Fuck Google Chrome cache.

For almost an hour, sat and tried to make changes to a react UI but unfortunately nothing's changing. Started to worry and doubt myself.
Even thought of getting myself the yellow duck! But fuck no , little did I realise that Chrome "intelligently" fetched my page from cache even though I was using incognito! Had to re-open the browser to realise that.

How did I find out you ask? I thought why not fucking open the same page in Mozilla . Why? Because why not?! But I still can't believe that I wasted a whole fucking hour due to that piece of shit called cache!

When you're not getting a 100/100 score on page speed insights, because google analytics script is not leveraging browser cache... (ironically)

To the kid at Google who thought (s)he is a smart ass:

Fuck You! I know what I am doing.

>>Googles "NCAA football" to see what games are on and if there's a close/entertaining one
>>Repeat step 1 about 3 times
>>Google has literally given me a notification for every game going on

FUCK OFF GOOD GOD.

as a moral web developer, i always remember my abc’s

anything
but
chrome

seriously fuck google

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK YOU GOOGLE, you placed a damn email about an interview in the spam box and I only realized it 2 weeks afterwards. END ME, JUST DO IT NOW

This is outrageous and satisfying at the same time.
Error message meant for a developer and why the fuck the stackexchange app does not work on Google signin

Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.

Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."

I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.

Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?

So apparently google doesn't give a fuck about your money. Yes I didn't use it right now, i purchased the dev account so I will be able to publish later when I need it and already used it in the past. How is it that they will close an account that you've payed for for inactivity?

ps.: Now I understand why has the play store full garbage apps. I will do that too...
pps: I know it's only 25$ but I still payed that to have access in the first place

FUck you google with your falsy advertisement of unlimited photo storage shit

Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?

What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?

I fucking hate you Google. Why the fuck would you post on Twitter saying Allo preview is available come join in! And provide a link. And have a massive MOTHERFUCKING DOWNLOAD BUTTON IN YOUR allo.google.com website ONLY TO END UP OPENING THE APP IN MY PHONE WHICH DOES NOT LET ME INSTALL THE FUCKING THING. THE "INSTALL" BUTTON STILL SAYS "REGISTERED".

Why the fuck would I do that Google? It's just 25% full not 90%.

Fuck these fucking youtube ads! I got blocked on youtube and cant play any video on desktop unless i disable adblocker. Shits so fucking LAME. Fuck off. Switching over to brave browser now and never looking back. Fuck off chrome.

Get fucked google. Now Google dropped to the last place for me from cloud providers. I'll prioritize the pedophille childfucker bill gates Azure cloud over GCP Now! Fuck Off. Shove ur ads into someone elses ass just how bill gates shoves his dick into childrens assholes on the epstein island!

Brave browser found a solution to all this fuckertry! It has built in adblockers for everything including built in vpn IP cloaker trace blocker and so much more for privacy and data integrity. Playing yt videos on brave browser works like a charm with no fucking ads or extensions installed! Everything is the same like chrome including layout development etc, minus ads tracking and data harvesting!

Before:
AWS > GCP > Azure > OCI

After:
AWS > Azure > OCI > GCP

Google ur now worse than a pedophile azure. Deserved to get spot #3 now. Shitheads

Chrome doesn't allow file hyperlinks.

Fuck off Google.

My phone just randomly started installing "instant apps" by itself even though my settings are explicitly set to not auto download update anything. It's not even visible in my installed apps to remove. After a quick search it seems like Google is forcibly rolling out a new feature. If I wasn't looking at my phone I wouldn't have known. Thanks for eating my mobile data.

What the fuck is this steaming shit!?
You fucking background apps, chrome and Firefox take all my resources to fucking open my Google drive?!

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE 19 INSTANCES OF CHROME RUNNING!!!!

WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS! LET THE FUCK LOAD!

I HATE WINDOWS! BUT THEN THERE ARE APPS WHO ARE FOR WINDOWS AND MAC ONLY!

I'M DYING NOW!!!!!!!!

FINE! EAT ALL MY 12 GB RAM AND FUCK YOURSELF IN THE CORNER BUT PET ME DO MY WORK!

So.. Google Analytics is not working..

Again..

Chrome 63 forces .dev domains to HTTPS via preloaded HSTS.

Well, FUCK YOU google. Why do you even give a shit of my local proxy.

Ugh time for my first google chrome rant... thing...

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, finished an arch linux install, fixed my slow internet connection in linux, installed only the things I need, vs code and google chrome but fuck me!

Google chromes performance is sinking like a rock, dropping about 25-40% of frames in youtube, slow page loading and the sort.

Installed firefox to ensure it wasn't my system and its all running perfect, I don't like using firefox and want to go back to the warmth of chrome, anyone able to help on this one :-(

Fuck Tik Tok or whatever shit that thing is

That shitty commercials are all over google ads. Ok, I have seen that girl enough changing scenes, so please fuck off.

Once i receieved a mail for a google form and the google form was asking me for my email... I couldn't understand what the fuck should i even reply😅😅 like how did you even send me the mail in the first place😅😅

Google, why the fuck would I have ant to see my Jira board as a panorama?!

Fuck Google analytics .. seriously .. fuck it .. I understand it's a free tool that doesn't mean you mask your incompetency behind that banner.

Im pretty sure minecraft mods have better documentation than this POS.

I really like the user demographics data it gives , but with the asterisk on literally every other metric it gets harder to believe the ones that are functional.

I cant express exactly how many times I end up with hordes of articles that point out small caveats with this shit.

FUCK IT

FUCK YOU GOOGLE

I feel I have zero control as a developer.. You made the shittiest choice by bringing in intellij , you made an even worse choice by adding gradle.. You add thousands of configuration options to manifests, layouts but provide no common place to find documentation for them.. This is just nonsense.. I've wasted endless hours figuring out your dex limits, proguard rules.. It's just frustrating.. Could you be anymore counterintuitive with your unit testing framework! Honestly it's a steaming pile of shit..

the moment when you say fuck this functionality and let’s get rid of this 15 screens and replace them with simply point and click and they say but google did it like we wanted… Well google is valued trillion dollars and we are valued nothing. If you want this shit pay million to some developer so he would do one thing and deliver this…ok it’s not needed, fucking 12+ years making startups and delivering projects and still need to deal with morons who say google did it, yeah ask them to develop some functionality for you and fuck you too… I saved you year of work you morons and you fucking complain, dude you need to start selling your products and I want to enable it to you, if you don’t understand that shit then fuck you…

Gotta make a bullshit deck, not really my job, but I guess it makes a change...

Right-click, save image.

It's a webp file...

...oh just FUCK OFF WEBP YOU F-oh, actually, I'm making this in Google Slides. That's literally their own format! I'll just save these as webp, no need to worry.

(ten minutes and lots of saving later)

Drag a webp file into Google Slides, in Google Chrome:

"Sorry, this format is not supported."

Even your parents hate you, webp. Time to have a nice bath with a bar heater, webp.

Squeeze your phone to activate assistant. It's my phone, not a fucking tube of toothpaste.

Me: Google, Hello , Wassup?
G: Hi, I can search the web for results.
Me: Okay, Talk to me Im bored.
G: I can search the web for results.
Me: STFU and talk to me. Dont search for results.
G: I can search the web for results.
Me: djkasndakdnasjkdnsadjkasndasnda :/ totally pissed.

I must be some kind of retard to think that a fallback font would actually handle the characters not handled by the previous fonts.

I hate configuring fonts so fucking much

Fuck Gitlab that now collab with google.
Now my fucking ip got blocked

Google, please explain to me: Why the fuck would you create a hardcoded requirement in your libraries to use a plaintext json file with credentials to your API?

Credentials which give full access to all of the company email, addresses, cloud services, etc?

And why would you accompany this in your docs with example implementations which read as if they were an intern's first coding project — non psr compliant PHP, snippets of Go which won't compile due to type errors...

I'm starting to become convinced that the whole of the Google Cloud API was actually written by thirteen year old who found their parent's liquor cabinet.

Fuck this I'll build my own Google.

Fuck you, Google and your million goddamn captchas. One after fucking another, they just keep fucking coming and I can't get to whatever the fucking fuck it is I'm doing. Fuck you. I hope your children all get cancer.

Fuck DuckDuckGo!

Is this is what you "privacy savyy" like to get? Irrelevant content. WTF?! Such a waste of time. I'm selling my soul back to Google. Fuck your opinion.