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Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I repeat
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I think we have a problem here.
*music intensifies*11 -
My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.
I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon11 -
Other people : she said yes :') :')
Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')2 -
Rant!!
Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..
I answer the call...
Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..
Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally
Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..
She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet
26 -
Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.
Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*
😂
12 -
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!
This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.
Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.
While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.
Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.
I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.
Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!
9 -
Making fun of a skinny/fat person working out is like making fun of an uneducated man trying to learn7
-
This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML
To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard
13 -
Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...6 -
Project manager: how was the day?
Me: wrote a few lines of code
Me: ran the code
Me: full of errors
Me: I cried8 -
So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ? -
Yo.
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝
He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push
(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)16 -
People here are arguing about a guy using MS word as a HTML IDE,
My boss once showed me how blind people read "colors" by running his fingers over the phone screen.2 -
Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.
Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.5 -
If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.
Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.7 -
@dfox should split devrant into categories.
-rants
-advice/help
-weekly rants (already there)
-dev memes
Then people can just read rants or whatever they want without other things getting in the way.
Down vote can also be used if something is in the wrong category9 -
What kind of dumb fucks are making these job application forms, initially I thought asking my “sexual preference” was weird but then I saw these !!!!
How does my earlier financial condition or what my parents did when I was 14 help my job application when now I am 28 !!
The fuck
8 -
I feel like a e-hoarder, I keep tabs and sublime windows open and worry about closing them as they might contain important code...
FML4 -
I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!
3 -
Successful startup message on my friends discord bot:
Yo
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
Bot Ready.
😂
https://github.com/nbd9/PastaBot -
Get projects from companies and let students compete to complete those projects ,
Projects could be basic , but the students would get a good chance to see what is being done in real projects what tech is used.7 -
To all those people that have Git alliases like:
"gc" = "git clone" or "ga" = "git add"
What do you do with all that extra saved time?16 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
The fuck did I do wrong?
So I had 11 vulnerabilities 1 high.
I just npm audit fix
Now it’s 44 vulnerabilities
14 -
Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.
Me: what do you guys recommend ?
Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!
Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?
Team: ...9 -
New computer! I named it P.E.A.C.H. which is supposed to be an acronym, but I couldn't find a satisfying meaning.
Mind the stickers. I'd love to put a devRant sticker there too.
Components:
- Gigabyte AORUS GA-AX370-Gaming 5
- AMD Ryzen 7 1700
- Scythe Mugen 5 "PCGH Edition"
- 16GB HyperX FURY DDR4-2666 DIMM CL15-17-17
- 500 Watt Cooler Master B500 ver.2 Non-Modular 80+
- 275GB Crucial MX300 2.5" (SSD)
- 1000GB Seagate BarraCuda ST1000DM010 (HDD)
- Sharkoon BW9000-W Midi Tower
- Some video card and DVD drive I removed from an old computer
It still needs a good video card and internet connection.
With the dual boot and my MacBook Pro I cover Windows, Linux and MacOS.
20 -
CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2 -
Just received a job invitation for my first developer position. But I never wrote a line of code in my life. I guess my interviewer too.8
-
Implementing a neural network trained with a genetic algorithm from scratch, no libs or frameworks. It was intense.4
-
Dont get attached to your code at work! Coz it's not your code, you got paid for writing that code and that's it.5
-
I spent an entire week debugging my JS Gameboy emulator an year ago.
(The "C" register was read-only for some reason)
Turns out I typed "с" (cyrillic) instead of "c".4 -
I couldn’t get a dev duck ,
So here comes Dev Spider-Man!!!
Well he’s obviously good at coding , cos you know , he works on the web 🤣
3 -
Everyone was a noob once. I am the first to tell that to everyone. But there are limits.
Where I work we got new colleagues, fresh from college, claims to have extensive knowledge about Ansible and knows his way around a Linux system.... Or so he claims.
I desperately need some automation reinforcements since the project requires a lot of work to be done.
I have given a half day training on how to develop, starting from ssh keys setup and local machine, the project directory layout, the components the designs, the scripts, everything...
I ask "Do you understand this?"
"Yes, I understand. " Was the reply.
I give a very simple task really. Just adapt get_url tasks in such a way that it accepts headers, of any kind.
It's literally a one line job.
A week passes by, today is "deadline".
Nothing works, guy confuses roles with playbooks, sets secrets in roles hardcodes, does not create inventory files for specifications, no playbooks, does everything on the testing machine itself, abuses SSH Keys from the Controller node.... It's a fucking ga-mess.
Clearly he does not understand at all what he is doing.
Today he comes "sorry but I cannot finish it"
"Why not?" I ask.
"I get this error" sends a fucking screenshot. I see the fucking disaster setup in one shot ...
"You totally have not done the things like I taught you. Where are your commits and what are.your branch names?"
"Euuuh I don't have any"
Saywhatnow.jpeg
I get frustrated, but nonetheless I re-explain everything from too to bottom! I actually give him a working example of what he should do!
Me: "Do you understand now?"
Colleague: "Yes, I do understand now?"
Me: "Are you sure you understand now?"
C: "yes I do"
Proceeds to do fucking shit all...
WHY FUCKING LIE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND??? WHAT KIND OF COGNITIVE MALFUNCTION IA HAPPENING IN YOUR HEAD THAT EVEN GIVEN A WORKING EXAMPLE YOU CANT REPLICATE???
WHY APPLY FOR A FUCKING JOB AND LIE ABOUT YOUR COMPETENCES WHEN YOU DO T EVEN GET THE FUCKING BASICS!?!?
WHY WASTE MY FUCKING TIME?!?!?!
Told my "dear team leader" (see previous rants) that it's not okay to lie about that, we desperately need capable people and he does not seem to be one of them.
"Sorry about that NeatNerdPrime but be patient, he is still a junior"
YOU FUCKING HIRED THAT PERSON WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HAI RESUME AND ACCEPTED HIS WORDS AT FACE VALUE WITHOUT EVEN A PROPER TECHNICAL TEST. YOU PROMISED HE WAS CAPABLE AND HE IS FUCKING NOT, FUCK YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE MANAGEMENT SKILLS, YOU ALREADY FAIL AT THE START.
FUCK THIS. I WILL SLACK OFF TODAY BECAUSE WITHOUT ME THIS TEAM AND THIS PROJECT JUST CRUMBLES DOWN DUE TO SHEER INCOMPETENCE.
5 -
If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:
I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣3 -
As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts
1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying
2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you
3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.
4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth9 -
So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ... -
Enough is enough! I can't do it anymore!
...
alias pm='python manage.py'
alias ga='git add .'
alias gc='git commit -a'
alias gi='git init && touch .gitignore && printf ".idea \n venv \n node_modules \n out \n *.iml \n *.log \n build \n target" > .gitignore'
alias gp='git push'
alias gps='git push --set-upstream origin master'
alias gr='git remote add origin'
...
Much better :D12 -
Expectation: I'm going to spend today debugging my app
Reality: adds 10 new features, 30 got commits and some Easter eggs. No bugs fixed. -
Learning to use Lightroom,
First try...
The hardest part about editing photos is to not oversaturated them even when you feel warmer colours look better . I guess I overdid it
P.S. that’s me in the picture enjoying the sky pissing on my face (sarcasm intended)
5 -
My 82 year old mother’s follow up question to family member who said her son was a moving to Atlanta, GA to be a Network Engineer.
Oh like CNN?
When she was kid her family owned a crank phone.1 -
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4 -
So... as a follow-up to my previous rant (https://www.devrant.io/rants/899731)
I happened across this today and started giggling internally.
Enjoy
1 -
OKAY
WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING
BUT NOOOOOOO
WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.
CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE12 -
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...1 -
Update !!
/**
I’ve been given the liberty to choose my job title by my HR,
Can you guys suggest a good one
**/
My current title is Sr. Product Engineer.
They have suggested product manager or technical manager , but I feel these sound bossy
/**
Any recommendations are welcome
**/37 -
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3 -
Holy fuck Microsoft,
you're just saying that you're giving away a ton of information to publishers when I am playing games on my Xbox.
Like data if I'm talking, chatting on Xbox Live, etc. so all this crazy stuff GA would do.
AND YOUR FUCKING OPT-OUT OPTION IS TO UNINSTALL ALL MY GAMES AND DON'T USE THEM. HOLY FUCK WHICH CRAZY DUDE CAME TO THIS IDEA?6 -
Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!
6 -
Alright! I was getting familiar with Google Analytics!
*visits Google Analytics again*
*the entire fucking thing is redesigned for the nth time*2 -
My code be like:
Call the method cronk...
WROOOONG MEEETTTTTTTHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!
*climbs out of alligator pit*
Why do we even have that method -
If you didn't became a developer what would you be? What's your plan B?
Mine is to be a psychologist.38 -
As much as I love using a mechanical keyboard ,I fucking hate the taps it makes when others use it
It’s like this constant hammer,
FUCK YOU BITCHES , don’t fucking hit it likes there’s no tomorrow !!!5 -
“You want to know the answer to that” is the answer I got to my question about a piece of code...
I guess he thought he’s too good for the job.
The dude had decent amount of knowledge but was arrogant as fuck.
Every time I asked him a question he would react as if I was making him work without pay that too on a Sunday (it wasn’t)
P.S. fucker got rejected2 -
FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!
(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸━┸
So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
But nooooooo!
Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,
P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes2 -
Even though I have 500 reputation on StackOverflow I'm afraid to ask a question! Coz other devs can be really down right mean! No one knows everything, we are all here to learn. Some ppl don't understand that they too started like this.2
-
After working for months , I've understood that we should overestimate the time that will be taken to complete a task
But now it's getting annoying , I mean It's been a week I finished my project and am ideal ,
Btw, the project timeline was a week , ( I finished the work in a day ) -
What if you were asked to develop something that goes against your morals or beliefs. Would you do it?
PS - they are willing to pay you more that you ask for30 -
One of main reason why I use Google as a search engine.
Me: Heads - Then I'll not use it.
Me: Okay google, toss a coin
GA: Sure,.... it's a tails.
Well.... fuck.3 -
That moment after you finish coding a site and the client comes back with a request for weekly analytics reports, on top of all the data from GA, New Relic, etc... in Excel documents. O_O2
-
A client asked me to include a GA tracking code into her website,
I said yea I'll add it for you, just send me the code snippet please :)
she sent me the URL to google analytics login page....
I told her that I need the code snippet not the URL.
She replied: yah that's what I sent.
Me:...2 -
I get anxiety when I have no work for days,
I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.5 -
FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.
Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...1 -
When you got hired
HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.
After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.2 -
Have you had any money saved? What is your process when it comes to saving money? What kind of investments did you do with your savings?15
-
Yesterday was a day off so I developed a vue, vuex , laravel application. Today back to work and start writing some shity code!1
-
Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.
Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “8 -
Got hooooot pink coloured pair of beats for my birthday!!! Best gift ever! Two most things I like is music and code this is the perfect gift! Pink is the only problem but fuck it. I love theseeeee!!!
19 -
Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow
Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.
Manager walks in
Manager: how’s function x going
Me: great , will be done soon
Manager: you need to finish it by today
Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)
Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help
Me: okay
We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be
P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know1 -
I read an article that says stress balls are far less effective for stress relief than punching your PM on the face.
They should have included a warning... -
Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.
It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed
Only downside is what to do in free time8 -
Full stack isn’t about knowing just a backend and little bit of JavaScript. Turns out a bunch of them who applied this week seem it have derived a new meaning for it!
Throwing around terms like “I am exploring MEAN” doesn’t make you sound cool unless you have some working examples that you have built with it.
7 -
Hardest thing for me as Team leader is to teach people in my team, that task is done, when unit tests are written, pull request is created, approved and merged.
Not when their code compiles for a first time.1 -
Biggest sin
Due to lack of time, I named all the variables in my project without logic,
Like temp1,str1, function dojson etc
Lord be with the dev who's gonna work on that project
PS I am not a bad person, it is the time that made do such things -
...It relies on the BouncyCastle cryptography library instead of OpenSSL, yet replicates OpenSSL bugs to guarantee compatibility.2
-
Finally , dual monitor , too bad am going on a vacation tomorrow.
Been cribbing about a single monitor since ages (1 year)
5 -
Did you ever take advantage of clients that has less computer literacy? Like have you ever escape a bug in the system by telling the client heavy technical BS! 😋
PS - fixings that bug later obviously!!7 -
Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself1 -
my fist job... i get to edit a c++ code written by a (mind you) programming company that they teamed with for the past(mind you again) 3 years ...
now just for starters, this code was edited by self taught coders that are really good engineers(they are really good), that didnt really know how the code worked before yet they still changed it, and it worked, how ever they wanted some changes.
i get the project files, and there is not one single comment describing what is happening... only code commented out... and no documentation what so ever were done....
so below are some of my comments that i wrote after i finished adding what i had to add, and fixing what i had to fix:
/*first rule of C anything coding, no actual functions in the header, well let me introduce you to a fully functioning thread running program all in the header, enjoy*/
//used to control the thread
// i honestly dont know why, but it worked soooooo yea...
// TG uncommented // for absolutely no reason what so ever...
//used to communicate with the port
//the message to be sent to the inverter, which has a code that will handle it
//hmmmmmm...
//again not usefull since we are using radioButtons
// same ...
// same ...
// same ...
// they said they dont even use this mode, but none the less, same ...
// calculate the checksum for the message
// ....
// one of the things that work, and god forbids i touch
// used for the status displayed on screen
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// not used at all, but the message structure contains it and i refuse to edit that abomination
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// just dont ask and roll with it, i didnt want to touch this
// saaaaame ...
// if before true this saaaaaame ...
// value of the (censored :P)
// it pains me to say it again, but this is no use
// (censored :P) input
// (censored :P) input
// only place seen , like for real it was just defined,sooooo yea :D
// well you know how it is
// message string
// check sum string
/****below from feed back****/
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P)
/****below is the output to the receiver ****/
//(censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
//you thought we were done.... nope, no idea. it comes in the feedback
// not used, literally commented out the one time it was used
// same ...
// XD, man this is a blast, same ...
// nope ...
// used to store the port chosen for the communication
// is a static for the number of data we have recorded so far, and as a row indicator for the recording method
// used to indicate the page we are on in the excel file, as well as the point in physical point in the test
// same ... oh look at this a positive same :D
// same ...
// same ...6 -
A dev life in Queen songs:
„A Kind of Magic“ - Build successful
„A Winter’s Tale“ - Key Account Manager visits customer
„Action This Day“ - Release day
„All Dead, All Dead“ - System down
„Another One Bites the Dust“ - kill -9 4711
„Breakthru“ - 10 hour debuging session
„Chinese Torture“ - Microsft Office
„Coming Soon“ - Client asks for delivery date
„Dead on Time“ - shutdown -t 10
„Doing All Right“ - How's the progress on the new feature?
„Don’t Lose Your Head“ - git push -f
„Don’t Stop Me Now“ - In the zone
„Escape from the Swamp“ - Hand in resignation letter
„Forever“ - while(1)
„Friends Will Be Friends“ - friend class Vector;
„Get Down, Make Love“ - No rule to make target "Love"
„Hammer to Fall“ - Release day
„Hang on in There“ - 2 weeks until release
„I Can’t Live With You“- Microsoft
„I Go Crazy“ - Microsoft
„I Want It All“ - Google
„I Want to Break Free“ - free( (void*) 0xDEADBEEF );
„I’m Going Slightly Mad“ - Impossible feature requested
„If You Can’t Beat Them“ - Impossible feature promised by sales
„In Only Seven Days“ - Impossible feature ordered
„Is This the World We Created...?“ - Philosphic moments
„It’s a Beautiful Day“ - Weekend
„It’s a Hard Life“ - Weekday
„It’s Late“ - Deadline was last week
„Jesus“ - WTF?
„Keep Passing the Open Windows“ - Interprocess communication
„Keep Yourself Alive“ - Daily struggle
„Leaving Home Ain’t Easy“ - Time to get up and go to work
„Let Me Entertain You“ - Sales meets customer
„Liar“ - Sales
„Long Away“ - Project start
„Loser in the End“ - Dev
„Lost Opportunity“ - Job ad
„Love of My Life“ - emacs/vim
„Machines“ - Computer
„Made in Heaven“ - git
„Misfire“ - Unhandled exception at Memory location 0xDEADBEEF
„My Life Has Been Saved“ - Google drive/Facebook
„New York, New York“ - Meeting at customer
„No-One But You“ - Bus factor = 1
„Now I’m Here“ - Morning rush hour
„One Vision“ - Management goals
„Pain Is So Close to Pleasure“ - NullPointerExcption
„Party“ - Delivery completed
„Play the Game“ - Customer meeting inhous -
„Put Out the Fire“ - Support hotline
„Radio Ga Ga“ - GSM/GPRS/UMTS/LTE/5G
„Ride the Wild Wind“ - Arch Linux
„Rock It“ - Linux
„Save Me“ - CTRL-S/CTRL-Z
„See What a Fool I’ve Been“ - git blame
„Sheer Heart Attack“ - rm -rf /
„Staying Power“- UPS
„Stealin’“ - Stack Overflow
„The Miracle“ - It works
„The Night Comes Down“ - It doesn't work
„The Show Must Go On“ - Project cancelled
„There Must Be More to Life Than This“ - Philosophic moments
„These Are the Days of Our Lives“ - Daily routine
„Under Pressure“ - 1 day until release
„Was It All Worth It“ - Controlling
„We Are the Champions“ - Release finished
„We Will Rock You“ - Sales at customer
„Who Needs You“ - HR
„You Don’t Fool Me“ - Debugging session
„You Take My Breath Away“ - rm -rf /
„You’re My Best Friend“ - emacs/vim4 -
WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.
I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT
THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE5 -
Why do I find really hard to connect with my coworkers?! I'm an introvert but after few months in my old job I connected with everyone. In my new job I find it really hard! And it's almost a year! 😥😫5
-
A home designer ( a.k.a Interior Designer )
Ever since I got my home renovated 5 years ago, I love finding ways to make the houses look and feel better. -
I hate python.
Who thought that creating a language that doesn't provide any backwards compatibility whatsoever without a way of managing versions is a good idea?20 -
Fucking fuck !
I work with a senior Dev,
It’s pretty much like am working under him....
He’s like a great Dev no doubt about it
But !!!!
He’s a fucking dumbass when it comes to working in a team. He makes changes in my code without telling me. He says He forgot to tell me , every single time
When I ask him how a piece of code works , he says it’s pretty much obvious and acts like even a 6 year old kid Would know this ,
He doesn’t think 2 steps ahead before solving a problem usually creating another problem !
We were once working on a language which we weren’t very good at , so I suggested him to ask another Dev in our company about inputs on our code structure to which he completely Disagreed saying they really won’t know much and that he knows more than them..
Fucking dumbass thinks he knows more than most ...
I have tried confronting him multiple times but he feels but he just won’t listen...1 -
To all those geniuses who keep a finger on my screen to show me what they wanted to be changed ,you need to remove your fucking finger first so that I can see what you are talking about. I fucking can’t see through your finger.
Worst part is when they have huge palms that cover most of the screen1 -
Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes2 -
android development is shitty af, it will make you super zombie computer nerd that sit on his chair for fking several hours just to find the where the fk is null pointer exception is coming from not only this but for all kind of errors,logcat looks like someone just hacking nasa, you know what im the one who is shitty af i would have opt web dev instead of android dev , this retarded studio and emulator takes too much time to just load a simple fking thing & if i make some change in it i've to install that application again ,it's so pathetic and horse shit thing i've ever encountered , kotlin is fun it's actually great language most of the features are so helpful in it,but the google codelabs,it's all documentation , adding dependencies whole concepts are trash imo, why can't we install the dependencies using terminal what's problem in that ,but no they chose the hard way for no fuking reason, i've successfully wasted a year learning this shitty tech stack, hopefully this NY i will choose different stack , will work till ass off .gonna build some cool projects and will eventually try for internships and all. done with android dev, idk how senior dev's are alive in this field6
-
So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.
I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...2 -
When you are stuck in between a very interesting Spring 5.0 GA release webcast and a stupid mandatory daily scrum call!
-
The later I Stay up, the more wrappers appear next to my computer in the morning...
Funny how that works....1 -
You don't! Working for a bad company would ultimately give you the experience you need that a good company wouldn't2
-
Hm. in MySQL 8.0.23 (yeah I'm kinda slow at catching up) they changed quite a lot.
- Hash Join implementation
- invisible columns
- InnoDB behaviour, eg AHI / IB
-....
https://dev.mysql.com/doc/relnotes/...
https://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/...
Guess no more MySQL for me.
How should I trust a database whose QA seems completely non existent and where minor version releases change the complete behaviour of the database....
(it's not new per se, Oracle announced that with the 8 GA release minor releases can have new features, but I'm surprised they really keep it up with breaking... Their QA sucked before, but with the new features coming, MySQL / Oracle is dead to me. )
Will be interesting to see in which direction Maria DB goes.... So far it looks good, although they really should think about cutting ties with Oracle / MySQL as a lot of internals have quite diverted....
Fuck Oracle.20 -
This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...
Am the one who gave her the milk 😅
1 -
Hmmm! So I'm passive aggressive person. I don't argue with my fellow devs I post the their faults on devRant!
-
How the fuck do Jr devs end up doing things someone specifically asks not to do.!!!!!
Fucks timelines up
So I asked my Jr Dev to leave a feature as it might not be required in this release and rather concentrate on the thing that is gonna make this release work , the “SAVE” button.
I mean how had is it to understand,
This dude goes ahead and “utilises” days on the thing that isn’t gonna be released(a dropdown) , and no, the dropdown still doesn’t work.
I understand the spirit of solving the bugs first. But what’s the point of solving it if it doesn’t fucking “save”
P.S. I’ve done this too as a Jr Dev :p7 -
So if you’re planning on going to Antarctica sometime soon, well then don’t ,
Reference: earth.nulschool.net
2 -
If anyone can help
I need to copy 2000+ DVDs in 3 days. What are my options?
https://hn.premii.com//...
He’s ripping the national archives to make it freely available , he has the legal access but lacks the equipment.
Any help would be appreciated1 -
Heads up , not a tech rant
So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be
So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters
So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years
1 -
my old game had this flow every time a client places an object:
Client A creates a new generic object, and attaches texture paths (yep, global paths are allowed), and... lua code as strings to it.
Client A sends the entire object list to the server
Server receives it, replaces it's own object list
Server copies the entire object list and sends it to all clients
Client A and Client B both receive the object list and replace their versions.
All clients see that the object contains some code as strings
They compile and store it, and then run every frame. UNSANDBOXED.
any client could make all other ones execute any code and i was proud of my idea! -
Teacher explained how genetic algorithm works by using us as a population. Best way to hear about GA for first time.2
-
Mine was at my school when I was 13 or 15. I didn't have a computer at home because my parents could not offered a one. Back then I didn't know any thing about computers but always knew that I wanted to do something related to computers.
So, when I went to the computer lab in my school I was so dumb, I couldn't even click on a button using the mouse. We were partnered up two students per computer and me try so hard use a computer and my partner take over and show off his talent how he can use a computer.
I was sad and devastated even though I love computer I couldn't use a computer but my willingness to learn about computers science never faded a away!
Few years fast forward; I'm a web developer and I'm happy with what I do. The fellow student who showed off still contact me for his trouble shootings regarding computers.
Never give up on you dreams -
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
-
When you put bread in the toaster then start programming and forget about it.
*finds it 6 hours later*
Ooh! Free food! -
Forgetting to switch the git branch from master to back to Dev after committing. If I had a penny!4
-
Just ordered my first Alienware laptop.
As much as I want to be excited , I know devices and laptops don’t last that long like they used to years ago5 -
4am writing an assignment about the ethics of anonymity tools (TOR, VPNs, brown bags to put on your head)
I love the subject – I picked it – but these written assignments for peripheral classes are the most soul sucking part of studying software engineering2 -
The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101
-
Devrant should have a "preview" image option for images uploaded on a rant. You could just end up uploading images of you and your vacuum cleaner doing some "cleaning"
@dfox1 -
So this horrible client micromanaging every single thing in the application now suddenly asking me where a menu should go! I'm like why are you asking me that now I think you should take the menu and shove it up your ass?2
-
Bitch!!!!
I have started to hate stackoverflow
I mean I asked a simple question about how to download a PDF over JavaScript. The question is marked duplicate and down voted.
How stupid can some dumbasses be? Yes a similar question was asked and answered
But..
The duplicate post they’ve marked used to work,USED to , that code doesn’t work anymore.
I mean come on I’ve specifically written I tried that and it doesn’t work anymore. But some fuckers just want to look cool by downvoting other.4 -
Question for all the security/privacy nerds here. What is your opinion of the social network called Minds that pays you for your information basically.
(This is a very brief probably inaccurate summary but yeah, it’s basically reverse Facebook)1 -
Is the MySQL 5.6 deprecated? One of the colleague said but i could not find a date if it is. Even they GA 5.6.44 on 2019-04-25.10
-
A machine learning beer referral app, an AI music making algorithm, a GA to make machine learning research easier, and a text editor where ctrl-s deletes all of your work and ctrl-z saves it.3
-
So our software clubs discord bot went rogue and deleted a metric ass ton of messages
This is what I get for testing in production. Fml1 -
I am done with this county where people are soooo radical and yet sheepish that they believe what’s shown on news.
Too many things to point out but won’t help .
So I am taking suggestions for countries to move.
Preferably Europe cos US is tiring to shit now20 -
Hey!! I have made an app for curbing smartphone addiction, In this app, I am just asking user to set timer for an app, and then my app will remind them to stop using those apps! I am also showing weekly/daily usage statistics. So, what should I name my app?2
-
Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5 -
What do you think the best antergos desktop is? I'm looking for one that's relatively fast and lightweight but that looks nice.3
-
how to propose your nerd gf here we go...
"you may look attractive like frontend but you need my support like backend and together we can become full stack developer we can create beautiful projects6 -
If I made a website that was like a fill-in-the-blank for writing documentation, would anyone use it?
I'm trying to justify spending my time doing this.5 -
Has anyone heard of pretotyping? I recently read the PDF on their website (www.pretotyping.org I think) and it seems to make sense for small indie apps.
Thoughts?4 -
Whenever someone comes to me with an idea that will "make tons of money" i ask them if they have any concrete proof that people are interested in their idea.
If they say no, I point them to the pdf book on the downloads page of pretotyping.org1 -
Ok, I'm curious to know, who is the person who has been in devrant the longest?
Comment the date that you joined if it is earlier than the last person who commented.5 -
!! WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!!
So my Xbox one broke down and I want it to be replaced, since it is out of warranty , I don’t mind paying for a replacement(I heard somewhere they have an offer where you pay a small amount for a new one)
But those fuckers aren’t human, not metaphorically, I mean literally , you can’t call/chat with a human , the only time you can contact a human is after 7:30 fucking PM.
Royal fuck in the nuts witha hammer, you’re Microsoft , not some porn company which is only in one country ,please have a “working” customer service, recommend you guys, before going to buy a Microsoft product , just try to connect to microsoft , you’ll probably end up buying something else
P.S. the image below shows how the only time I can connect to a human is after 7:30PM - 7:00 AM, and no emails too don’t work
4 -
Fixing bugs is like scratching balls , if you're at it for too long and it hurts ....
It's probably time to try a different approach .... -
If you’re having a bad day , always remember , Poseidon loves you..
Reference - kiss of Poseidon
https://urbandictionary.com/define....1 -
So yeah, I am officially a product manager now!
It’s a hate love relation becoming a manager from a developer6 -
Who else is frustrated/burnout at building products that never gets into production?
When I work for a company I always tend to do everything with good practices, spend a lot of time thinking on the best ways to build x feature, and then the company falls into the infinite loop of adding stupid features, and then I've been working for 2 years and 0 paid customers. Funny that we've Sentry, GA, Hotjar sitting there doing nothing.
I'm honestly hating the startup environment rn. Good thing is that I've learnt a lot and salary is good. But also I lost all motivation.
Any recommendations for a tired dev?7 -
Working on some documentations on MS word and I'm pressing ctrl+space for auto complete!!🤣🤣🤣 Not only that ctrl+click for multiple cursor!!! 😂😂😂😂😂2
-
When I started at my first job I was a fanboy for a co-worker who writes codes like nothing and there's is nothing he can not do when comes to coding!! I really admire his work. I always think how does he do it?!
Now I have a fanboy for my work 😎 he admires my work he thinks that there's nothing I can't solve.
I get it now, it's just experience and practice!5 -
MySQL 5.7.32 breaks innodb zlib compression in combination with xtrabackup.
Oracle started the trend to break GA cycles....
https://percona.com/blog/2020/...
Seems like the MySQL ecosystem finally splits in MariaDB (as 10.5 renamed MySQL to Mariadb) and MySQL.
I hope Oracle MySQL dies.
What Oracle does is beyond madness.
MariaDB 10.5 has it's troubles too. But at least you can look up their sources, check their bugtracker and don't get surprise foot fisting up your arse.8 -
Wtf has happened to Google webmaster tools / ad(word)s / analytics? There used to be so many valuable insights before the current version, now everything is hidden in the new UI or Google just keep the info to themselves? Does anybody use Google anal/ads anymore?3
-
Is there a way to implement Google analytics to a specific page.
So, my requirement is to let the user add his/her Google analytics to their page on my application. The page is in sub-route of the application (user/username)
Can I allow a user to do that? Are there any articles related to this?10 -
Againg symfony shitty:
look - I want to validate csrf. I found docs how to do it.
https://symfony.com/doc/2.8/...
"if ($this->isCsrfTokenValid('token_id', $submittedToken)) {
// ... do something, like deleting an object
}"
But how the fuck should I know what is token_id from this stupid writing?
I have debugged their code to find it out. What a fucking waste of time !!! Free shit. Companies could probably pay small fee for the symfony if they could find people who do better job. Because by paying salaries for finding such shit costs them anyway.
And there was a htmls where the token was:
<form name="form" method="post" action="/admin/policy/47/push-im-xml">
<button class="btn btn-xs btn-info" type="submit">Push IM XML to GA</button>
<input type="hidden" id="form__token" name="form[_token]" value="LDVrl52CYtbT-kDudsjzrNAdJuIyFZhafsgk9QDnWGs"></form>
Guess what was token_id : form
:D whf. How the fuck could I know? I have tried various ways before debugging liek form_token, form[_token], _token
Who could fucking think its 'form' ?!!!! Wth. This is a joke.9 -
Need some advice on RAM,
So I’ve a laptop with 8GB ram and I am planning on a upgrade, now if I remember correctly I CAN add a 16Gig stick and it’ll be 24gig, but is it a good call to have different sized ram.
PS. Suggest a ram
Current RAM : HMA81GS6AFR8N-UH
Hynix
P.P.S - I’ll obviously add RAM of the same frequency10 -
What’s your take on engineering managers just focusing on delivering the product. Making sure the management happy.
TL;DR.
To begin, i want to clear it out that my EM is a really sweet person and tries to accommodate all of us and takes pressure off us whenever possible.
But he’s a really shitty manager. He’s the kinda guy whom you can give a weekend project and he’ll an excellent job. On the other hand, if the taks requires more than a weekend, he’ll probably fuck it up.
He thinks everything can be done in a jiffy and we don’t need to think about the edge cases.
His reasoning for not giving quality importance is that he wants us to focus on building the product and making it shippable. We can iron out issues once we get it done.
He’s decided not to let the tests run in the cicd pipeline because that might hinder making hot fixes.
I’ve tried talking to him but he believes that’s the only way management is willing to agree to.2 -
How do I tell my “senior” co-worker that he’s a shitty person while working in a group , I just can’t tell my manager cos they both are good friends, I’ve tried confronting him but it didn’t make much of a difference. This is really frustrating me because I am always seen as the person who doesn’t know shit cos the senior co-worker keep changing the back end and my code 😓😓😓1
-
So I quit my last job because they were only focusing on developing invoicing and inventory control systems. It was really boring same old thing every day!!
When I started my current job they were developing CMS and web solutions. But recently management is considering to develop invoicing and inventory control systems (which now I HATE ).
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE THERE'S MORE THAT!!!!
😫🙄😡😠7 -
I recently un-boxed a pixel 2, though great on the specs side, I wouldn't buy it because of the looks and weight,
It just doesn't feel great in the hand, I mean if am spending that much, I should feel am holding a premium device at hand, but It feels like a dummy,
Camera might be great, but the bezel was too big -
I was working so hard on debugging a code that I started writing semicolon at the end of a sentence instead of full stop
FML -
Ok! My new project still haven't started and I'm so bored , running out things to look into!!!
So far I have looked into
Firebase
Ethical Hacking
Some web developing concept...
Any suggestions??? Related to web developing, laravel , vuejs ???1 -
Been working on redoing my desktop lately. Currently the specs are:
-FX-8350
-Gigabyte GA-970A-DS3P motherboard with a broken USB 3.0 header lmao
-GTX 660 (Gonna upgrade to an RX 580 at some point, I don't do any hardcore gaming so I know I don't need a top of the line GPU)
-Crucial BX500 240gb SSD
-WD 500gb HDD (gonna upgrade to a bigger one eventually)
-Some like $60 Dynex PSU I bought a while ago, waiting on my Corsair RM650x to come in
At this very moment, it's running Windows 7 Ultimate x64. Once I get to a point where I'm happier with the build, I'll switch it over to Linux and start ricing. It has Windows right now cause I'm just using it for some games and when I last fucked with the hardware, it was the middle of the night so I didn't want to spend too much time setting up a Linux distro the way I want it and everything right then, just putting that off for later (especially cause I use Arch btw)
I have been playing some Half Life 2 lately. I forgot how fucking fun that game is.
Aside from my PC, my birthday was technically yesterday (it's about 2:30AM as of writing this, and I've been up for a while, so I still consider it today). Now I'm 2 years away from being able to legally drink (and smoke since the law change, although I still do both anyways).
I'm gonna stop rambling. Life is fairly decent right now. Not too much to "rant" about except for shit with my roommates, but I won't bore everyone with that1 -
What is the best build/dependency manager? I've used gradle before but is there anything else that anyone would recommend ?6
-
Need help/advice.
I’ve a raspberry pie 3B.
The pi boots up with the OS previously installed on it, theHDMI port works perfectly,
The problem is , I can’t get the USB ports to work, nor does the LAN port works. And the wifi also doesn’t connect automatically donno why , not sure if the wifi wasn’t setup or the chip is gone bad, just need to know what I can do with it4 -
Is there a desktop widget to monitor my websites if they are down, slow.
I know I can have web services for that to receive emails about down websites
But I really just want a simple widget with a simple ui that tells warns me when my website is down4 -
What if parallel universe is real and all of us are just a copy of one person with a small differences just like parallel universe.
Food for thought17 -
Hi, so I’ve made a site where I upload small(very) projects I work on in my free time, they aren’t huge animation based rocket ships , rather small but handy stuff like basic light-weight alert boxes.
Now am thinking if any one of you guys have some amazing plugins or things you wanna show, but are feeling too lazy to upload, I can give you a sub domain like awesomesheet.simplecode.in(you’ve to upload the files somewhere like 000webhist)
Just let me know in mohit@simplecode.in
So here it is.
https://simplecode.in
This was made in 2-3 days, so please be kind.
The place is still under construction2 -
I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
WATCH NOW THANK LATER. (It’s rubber duck related)
Sorry about the Facebook video4
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