alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

Sister: "You can't commit to......"
Me: *has flashbacks of Git Commit issues doesn't even hear the rest*

Should I concern about this guy?

Git add .
Git commit -m 'stuff'
Git push
Error: merge conflict in 594 files

Git commit suicide

git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit

I know all the git commands:
- git status
- git add
- git commit
- git push

A true story... sad but true
2.00AM ->> git commit -m "it's time to sleep"

2.45AM ->> git commit -m "I can't sleep, fixed the UI issue"

A new way of making bad commits:
alias fuckit='git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

Its like Russian roulette with commit messages!

Life is like git...
Think before you commit

git commit -m "adding summer 2009 photos"

git add -A
git commit -m "fixed tupo"
git push

🤓

“Git Pull Request is waste of time, commit directly to master!”

Sometimes I name my project "suicide" so that when I do a git commit I could say that I committed suicide.

My girlfriend keeps dropping hints that I should commit, but I still haven't gotten around to learning to use git.

Toughest part of git is writing the commit message

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

git commit -m "some changes nothing big..."

Wife: commit, and come to bed..
Me:
> git commit -m "wife wants me to go to bed"
> git push origin master -f

Git commit -m "nothing to say"

You know you messed Git hard when your commit graph started to look like November Rain on Guitar Hero.

git status
git add .
git commit -m "Minor changes.."
git push
...
git status
*closes terminal*
...
"Fuck that char in that variable name isn't meant to be a capital!"
*makes change*
git status
git add .
git commit -m "Minor changes.."
git push
...
git status
*closes terminal*

In case of fire:

Git commit
Git push
Git out of building

My favorite commit comment.

git commit suicide

After giving them a 30min talk about the importance of proper commit hygiene and the dos and donts of git, I proceed to commit changes of different nature in 4 files as a single commit named "did stuff".

I lost all authority on the subject forever.

git commit -m 'fix typeo'

Never gonna git you up
Never gonna pull you down
Never gonna fork away
it's a bad day!

Never gonna git you up
Never gonna commit again
Never gonna get issues
That's how it goes

Don't forget to Git commit

Git....
alias such=git
alias very=git
alias wow=‘git status’
$wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Once made a commit with a fullstop as the commit message

git commit - m '.'

git commit -m "bug fix"

Me: git commit -a
Git: [successful]
Me: git push
Git: [unpulled commits on remote]
Me: git damnit

I generally like to separate changes into as many commits as is reasonable. That way I can go back and see how, why, when and what was changed, along with meaningful commit messages.

But sometimes...
Git add *
Git commit -m "changed lots of stuff"

God I hate myself.

$ git commit -suicide

git commit -m "did a bunch of stuff"

Going through git commit history to figure out when *the programmer fucked up this code.

* I am the only programmer.

Changed width:600px to width:500px

git commit - m "optimized responsivity for enhanced mobile experience"

Watch your git commit messages, you never konw when a webhook might publish the whole thing to Slack...

git commit -m "Fixes"

What I've learnt so far using git for the first time in a major project.

Git commit Suicide

I "Git Pushed" my friend to "git commit" with a girl he likes for long time

But now my other friend wants to "git rebase" on top of her ....WTF

Now need to resolve this merge conflict 😂😂😂

git commit at 5.50 pm
The winner doesn't have to worry about merge conflicts

Git push, Git commit, Run 😎😋

Went into bed with peace in mind. Updated my website and everything working perfectly. Tonight I'll have a good sleep.

Jumped from bed all of a sudden :

GIT COMMIT! GIT PUSH!

git commit -m "Batman! (this commit has no parents)"

I'll show myself out.

* git add .
* git commit
* git push
* git the f*ck out

Made poor commit messages for a repo and then found out that we were going to start doing peer reviews at school the next day and that we were going to be assessed by git commit messages.

Rebased at 2 in the morning. Rewrote every commit message.

Did not get assessed by git message.

I’m commit-ed to programming....

...git it?

alias such=git
alias very=git
alias wow='git status'

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

git commit -m "quickfix"

> git commit -m 'fixing what I broke earlier'
> git pish
> git: 'pish' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

Did you mean this?
push
> you know I meant push, why can't you leave me alone and just do it

alias "git commit"="git reset --hard HEAD"

WTF is up with open-source projects using emojis in their commit messages... FUCKING emojis..

I get it, programming is fun and a hobby to many, but can we also keep at least a minimum level of professionalism here.

WTF is a wheelchair or bento emoji at the beginning of a commit message supposed to mean? Why the hell even bother to use it in the first place? There is no fucking reason for this retarded shit.

Is this what happens when activist developers get out of their way to make programming "inclusive"?

It is your personal project and so if you want to use emojis it is OK, I respect that (not really) but I can't trust your code, your commitment, or the quality of your work if I see those dumb Unicode characters there.

Git commit messages are not a game. Be playful with comments in code or your readme.md file but git messages should be a clear reflection of the changes not what a teenager's phone vomited on the keyboard.

guy add proposal.txt;
git commit -m "Wish me luck";
git push

git commit -m 'fixed the issue with my light switch'

3 Easy step to learn and use git :
1. git commit
2. git push
3. git gud

Probably posted before, still funny!

alias yolo='git commit -am "DEAL WITH IT" && git push -f origin master'

Clearly, my average commits/per day define my dedication towards work.

My favorite git commit messages:
- "Changed Something"
- "Fixing Something"
- "asda"

git blame

More like
git whose line is it anyway

Where commit messages are made up and the branches don't matter

I just saw

`git add . --all&&git commit -m update&&git push`

as a npm script hook m) I don't even care, just surprised it wasn't named yolo.

git add *
git commit -am "stuff"
git push -f origin master

No regrets

If Trump was a dev:
git commit -m "Make tests green again"

git commit -m "Increased technical debt"

got commit
got add
got pull
got push
...

Typos.. every.. Damn.. time.. so I assigned an alias for got = git

Don't want to break your commit streak on Github.
So you change one line and :-
git add .
git commit -m "Minor Tweak"
git push

VOILA ! the box is green for today . *Evil Smile*

Before knowing how to use git: Pff, it's ridiculous...
After knowing how to use git: *modifies 3 lines*
*git commit*

git commit -m "last"
git commit -m "last1"
git commit -m "real last"
git commit -m "real last 1"
git commit -m "real real last"

git commit -a -m 'added new files'
git status

-.-

git add .
git commit -a -m 'added new files'

When you fall in love with a collaborator:

git commit -m "May I have your number?"

I just wrote "git vomit" instead of "git commit".

"- git commit suicide"

I just committed suicide 😱

Commit fast, commit often.

I lost a day's worth of code once, because I wanted to commit all of them in the evening right before I was to go home. Then I mistakenly hit `git checkout .` instead of `git add .`.

Poof. Gone.

When I first started using Git, I didn't understand the purpose of the 'commit message' and branches.

So I automated the 'git add .', 'git commit -m "update"' and 'git push origin master' so I could update my git repo faster, with one command 😂

git add .
git commit -m "all the changes I did in 20 years"

That's how I roll

git commit -m "It's 4:59pm, let me commit since it seems like a sane choice even though everything is currently broken"

The effort I put into git commit messages directly reflects my mood and level of tiredness.

Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED

My lead in my previous company found one of my commit msg funny.

When the code is so bad that the only meaningful thing to do should be executing
rm -Rf *; git add -A; git commit -m "bugfix"
and then start the project again.

git commit -m "$RANDOM"

My typical development workflow:

$ ssh user@devserver
$ cd /appdir
$ git clone/pull
$ vim file
$ vim another file
$ tail -f /var/log/applog
$ vim file
$ git commit -am 'fixed the glitch'
$ git push origin dev
^D

After using git for all this time... I still can never commit changes correctly .-.

My IT leads git commit history. Lol

git commit -m "fix"

git commit -m "jdjsbdjsjfak"

git commit -m "Forgot a semicolon"

[master 92asd32] Forgot a semicolon
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-)

git commit -am "doing work of <team_mate_name>"

To my friends in Ireland, stay safe tomorrow, it's probably going to be nasty storm. Good luck and
1. Git commit
2. git push
3. git out

A git commit message ending with a question mark probably contains questionable code.

I can neither commit to my girlfriend nor commit anything to git.

git add .
git commit -m "hello there!"
git push origin dev-rant

- git commit -m "well described comment explaining addition"

oh crap forgot to take out this one thing

- ctrl-S
- git commit -m "ahskdbejjeebdosjeb"

Method 1:
1. Read others' people answers on wk70
2. Apply
3. ???
4. Profit
Method 2:
1. cd <ProjectName>
2. git init
3. dotnet new sln
4. dotnet new console #or webapi/lib
5. code .
6. git commit -m "Initial commit"
7. git remote add origin <github link>
8. git push origin master -u
9. profit

Definition of liar: git commit -m "minor fixes"

Trying to write more commit , so that i can stay top in github project chart with less real code be like....
Git commit -am "added p in code"
Git commit -am "added r in code"
Git commit -am " added i in code"
Git commit -am "added n in code"
Gir commit -am "added t in code"
Git commit -am " gave the proper indentation to print"

Beginning of the project:
git commit -m "Added index.html, implemented user-creation"

Towards the end of the project:
git commit -m "Idunno, did some stuff or so (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻"

Don't forget to git push before reinstalling Windows :)

TL;DR: Fuck.

Longer fuck:
I only did git commit and forgot to push changes. And the rest is pretty obvious.

git commit -m "Weekend"

Git commit of the day "fixed something, I think..." I hope my coworkers don't hate me...

a tale of daily frustration:

git fetch
*yup I'm up-to-date ...*
git add -p .
*hack in beautiful patch ...*
git status -bs
*correct branch, didn't forget any files ...*
git diff --cached
*yep, that is what I mean to commit ...*
git commit -m"[TKT-NUM] Meaningful commit message"
git log -p -1
*double-checking ... looks good ...*
git push remote tkt-num-etc

*for a brief moment feel accomplished ...*

*notice typo in commit message ...*

I don't have a funny image or punchline to sum this post up. But know that if you recognise this feeling, then I am your brother in git.

Git: "so what'd you want to commit?"
Unity: "just fuck me up"
Git: "got you covered"

Remember kids, clear out any login credentials before doing git commit and git push!

/smacks himself

My first post is not a rant. This is initial commit. git push -a -muthafaka

... late night coding session ...
... me, tired as hell committing last porting of changes ...
... git refuses my attempt for commit ...
....
$ git vommit -am ........

It's time to go sleep when you vomit instead of commit.

$ git commit -am "Add drive function and driving_license to class Me"
$ git push

In case of fire:

1. git commit
2. git push
3. leave building

git pull valentine
git rebase you --onto me
git commit my-love

I have one coworker where all of his commit messages are "Updates".

git add .
git commit -m "updates"
git push origin master

When you git blame a crap line of code and find out it was your commit

First git commit readme.

Mom: it's time to go!
Me:
$ git commit -m "I have to go"
$ git push
I'm ready!

git commit -m ‘minor fixes’

Revert the revert commit ...
Our git-tree looks fabulous!

*doing the happy dance*

🕺💃🕺🎶🕺💃🕺🎶🎶🕺💃🕺

IT WORKS!! It finally WORKS!!! For the first time. AND IT WORKS!!!

```
^s^s^s^s^s^s^s
git add .
git commit -m 'IT WORKS!!!!'
git push origin
git push backup1
git push backup2
```

*continues with the dance*

When I come back after a week :
Git commit -a -m "changed a lot, no idea of what I changed"

Worst coding interruption?

The fire alarm going off.
That's when you learn how quickly it's possible to git commit and push

git commit -m "fixed some problems"
git push -f

git commit -m "because cafés never have enough outlets and my laptop is dyiii---"

git add -A
git commit -m "fix bunch of shit.'
git push origin master
**98 files changed

hours later
me: omg I forgot to change the hardcoded IP now it's getting 404

git add -A
git commit --amend
git push origin master --force

Amending ancient Git commit messages because there's a typo and then force pushing

RIP everyone else working on the same project

Don’t you love when you name your commit and push something like “Fixed x, y, and z” but the actual changes are in the unsaved files you forgot to save, so you have to do, “Actually fixed x, y, and z.”

Friday. 17:56. Time to go home.

> git add *
> git commit -m 'wip, feature almost done, need to test'
> git pu... [BIG FAT BSOD]

fuck it, I'm out

Not separating different changes into different commits, and just adding "a few tweaks" when I can't be bothered to list changes.

git commit -m "Added x, updated y, renamed z, and a few other tweaks"

git commit -m "My 7 days of psychological torture mental breakdowns and suffering ends... now"

Enough is enough! I can't do it anymore!

...

alias pm='python manage.py'
alias ga='git add .'
alias gc='git commit -a'
alias gi='git init && touch .gitignore && printf ".idea \n venv \n node_modules \n out \n *.iml \n *.log \n build \n target" > .gitignore'
alias gp='git push'
alias gps='git push --set-upstream origin master'
alias gr='git remote add origin'

...

Much better :D

See another of this git commit message :

"Fixed bugs and added new feature"

Fixed what bug?! Added new feature what?!

Looking at the version history of Git (which is obviously tracked by Git), it goes all the way back to the initial commit...for some reason this blows my mind.

Several actually

- root DB access on production
- git commit -am "Stuff" (message)
- Not doing backups
- Using personal licensed software for company work
- 1 commit per day or weekend
- Taking work to home

git commit message that I hate:

1. "Adjustment"
2. "Improvement"
3. "Fix Bug"
4. "I commit it but there are bug in this code"
5. "Client request"

YOU KNOW BE MORE SPECIFIC ON YOUR COMMIT MESSAGE!!!

$ git add .
$ git commit -m "This HAS to be online soon"
$ git push
*merge conflict*
*did not look at difference*
*using mine*
$ git commit -m "resolv merge conflict"
$ git push

$ ssh root@x.x.x.x
# git pull
# cd /path/to/webapp
# npm run production

git commit -a -m"fix image"
git commit -a -m"fix image 2"
git commit -a -m "fix image 2 bug"
git commit -a -m "fix image 2 bug bug"
git commit -a -m"fix image final"

git commit -m "weekend, in the middle of fucked up!"

So I am conducting an introductory seminar on git and GitHub for juniors and as per my knowledge I've drafted this outline, please add your inputs..

The seminar will be of 1 day only

1. Install and configure Git and Github

2. Digital Signature mapping

3. Git init

4. New Project with HTML

5. Configure remote (git remote add <origin> <url>) ends with .git

6. Git commit (git commit –m “Title” –m “commit message”)

7. Pushing git push (git remote push origin master)

8. Git commit –amend

9. Git pull (git pull origin master)

10. Git checkout (git checkout –b new_branch_name)

11. Do some changes

12. Git push new branch (git remote push origin new_branch_name)

13. Git switch branch (git checkout <name_of_existing_branch>)

14. Pull requests

15. Git log (git log –oneline –graph)

[First rant] When you commit the wrong code to the deployment branch.
This happened to me yesterday 😅 Reverted it but everyone knows what I did by seeing the commit history

Binary searching my way through the git history to find the commit that broke something. 😄

Am i doing it right?
git commit -m "Multiple changes and minor changes in the project."

git commit suicide

Can I git commit? 🙂

git commit messages

at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"

personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"

I'm not sure if diamonds are forever, but Git commit messages after you push, sure as hell are.

Git: Before you pull you need to commit your changes

*Doesn't even run a git diff to see what changes git was talking about.*

git checkout .
git clean -i
git pull

git commit -am "trying to make the fucking database work locally"

git commit -m "I hate bad commit messages"

git push --force

Because I always push after every commit, when the slightest fuckup happens I just hard reset, commit again, and force push...

...even if it's just a typo in the commit message

$: git commit -m 'I died'

Last commit message.
Comment yours below 🙂:

In case of Fire

Git Commit
Git Push
Exit Building!

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

$ git commit - -amend
$ git push -f origin master

git add greeting.php
git commit -m "added Christmas greeting"
git push origin christmas-tree

Why squash commits when you can just --amend the commit and git push -f

#SecretsOfADumpsterFireDeveloper

This is my git commit history while trying to fix a bug late at night...

When you debug all day, and at the end only thing that boss sees are 3 line changes in git commit.

When I git. I fucking commit!

Me: makes the same mistake for the 1000th Git commit

My CI:

*fire alarm in dev office*

- git add
- git commit
- git push
- flee to safety

Use “git commit —amend” the 1st time. The mark of men

This morning's git explanation, and I quote:

"lalala... lala... lalala"

Someone got laid I think.

For the ultimate fuckit alias:
alias fuckit='git commit -am "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

gulp && git add . && fuckit && git push && firebase deploy

Git vs floobits

I hate floobits! But my team wanna use it because they are too lazy to commit their code!!!

When you join a new project, look at the git log, and all the commits say 'initial-commit'... 😭

<starts writing post in browser about losing code thanks to procrastinating git commit>
<accidental click>
<loses post>

In case of emergency:
git commit
git push
git out

When, for the 100th time, you see the git commit comment:
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

I think a "git commit -hide" option could be useful. To hide the author of the commit when you push dirty code.

git config --global alias.yolo '!git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

Something to cheer you up mid-week:

> alias yolo='git commit -am "DEAL WITH IT" && git push -f origin master'

GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE

So I started using Git! So far, I've committed my .gitignore file, whatever that is... And I can't get anything else to commit....

I'm gonna commit....

When you try to make a git commit, but Winter is coming so you keep typing "got".

When everything is working, I like to make my Git commit message "Everything is coming up Millhouse"

In case of fire🔥:
1. git commit
2. git push
3.🏃‍♂️ Leave the building

A colleague pushed a commit to our git where he just add one whitespace between if statement and curly braces -_- Applause!

When you're dead tired and keep making stupid mistakes...
git commit -m "ugh..."

git commit --amend --no-edit
git push -f

rm -rf *
git add .
git commit -m "Initial commit"
git push -f

git commit -am "Enhance bugs"

git commit -m "heck yeah! finnaly!"

git add salt.png
git commit -m "lol"

git commit -am 'needs refactor'
// months go by
git commit -am 'hotfix, also needs refactor'
// ... repeat

Today I saw one of the most detailed commit messages:

[+] further implementations

Don´t know if I sould laught or cry. ^^

git commit -m suicide

Best git commit messages ever(sarcasm):
- Fixes.
- Changes.
😥

Typical Git work flow on a feature branch:

Commit#1 : The silly feature itself that took 10 minutes to code
Commit#2 : Added unsaved files
Commit#3 : Fix unit tests
Commit#4 : Fix
Commit#5 : Fix
Commit#6 : Fix
Commit#7 : Various Fix
Commit#8 : Added unsaved files
Commit#9 : Merge
Commit#10 : Fixed unit tests
Commit#11 : Code Review tasks
Commit#12 : Revert- Code Review tasks
Commit#13: Refactor part 1
Commit#14: Refactor part 2
Commit#15: Deleted unit tests
Commit#16: Added checking for null
Commit#17: Completely different feature's bugfix
Commit#18: Code review spacing corrections
*Approved*

Trying to merge, then merge conflicts.....