Yeah, fuck gravity xD

The Android guys at Google take care of the developers and their use case scenarios.
Like when they have to make an app that works on Jupiter.
Or on the Death Star.

Mahnn.... Fuck gravity..

Saw time in a digital clock (HH:MM) [05:14] thought I should take a 1 minute break and decided to start at 05:15.

2 seconds later its 05:15......fuuuuuuuuuuuu

A turret (white) from Portal 2

A silver RWBY logo

Two foam dice as memorabilia from my previous job

A plush 😈

Plus a collection of various things saved and hidden from the scary hands of destructive children monsters.

We used to have a portal gun (both full size and mini) and a gravity gun on the dresser. But with the advent of children, they’re safely back in their boxes.

Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:

dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.

dude2: Could it be gravity?

dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.

dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.

dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck?

gravity = -gravity;

Sometimes I get frustrated so I grab a decommissioned computer and take it to the roof, then I watch it plummet 4 stories to it's death.

In the 1990s code editors on the Mac could insert the omitted function prototypes into a header file with one command; and even automatically keep the header declaration updated when you changed the source definition (name, parameters, etc)

Today in Xcode you have to copy and paste the stupid function header definition from the source code into the header file. What happens if you leave the "{" that got copied accidentally? OMFUCKING LORD, it triggers all sorts of erroneous errors in all the **source code** files where it is included instead of the header with the stray "{"

I started to question whether nor not I knew C, if gravity worked, if the sun would come up. I wasted a day of dicking around in StackOverflow trying to chase down all these insane error messages which make no sense in Xcode.

I just **happened** to see at the bottom of one of the source files, after all the erroneous error, a very important error:

"};" Expected

So I started deleting code from the bottom up in this source file, same error every time. Got to the point where the includes were all that was left.

FUCK YOU XCODE and the hacks that designed that horrendous piece of shit

Xcode is only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.

Last week I sent a pic of Nestle Crunch chocolate to my friend in Whatsapp. Today he told me that he got an ad in Instagram for Nestle Crunch!! Holy crap!
We were trying to figure out how did it happen because we never discussed about the chocolate other than that image. Then I realized that Whatsapp and Instagram was owned by the same fucking company - Facebook!!!

I've stopped using Facebook, Instagram for a very long time and I have ad blockers on every electronic device I touch. So I never understood the gravity of people losing shit over privacy, until today. This indeed is creepy and it hit me real hard. I'm now reading all rants with "privacy" tags and methods to harden my devices to repel from those buggers.

Why gravity why not osmosis

I was once asked to find a way to find the centre of gravity of a coke bottle. As soon as I started mentioning string, ruler etc., the interviewer told me I have nothing else, only the coke bottle..

Allright, that was srsly cool!
We are doing family trips across Lithuania on weekends. This weekend we have visited a "gravity hill".

So basically here's what you do:
- drive your car down the slope, to the bottom
- stop the car. Leave at neutral
- the car itself starts moving.. UP TO THE HILL!!

I was sceptic, but ffs, it took my car less than 2 minutes to reach 25km/h from a point zero!!

I even tried once more with my engine turned off. The same thing happened :)

I work with someone who uses the mouse to click on the save button to save a file. To give you the gravity of the situation, it's like working with IE

Simulation doesn't provide enough framerate?

Easy. Change gravity, weights, and steps in the simulation.
Welcome to your real world.

... I wonder if that's what God did. 🤔

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... It's impossible to put down

For fucks sake I am such an Idiot at times....

I tried building a watering system for my plants and I forgot that I was using free flow pumps that don't act as valve. So when I turn of the pumps the water keeps flowing, even against gravity because of the pressure difference.

TL;DR: I forgot fcking kindergarten physics today.

Everyone excited about Silicon valley and Mr. Robot and I'm here just waiting for another season of Gravity Falls...

Happy (early) gravity day!

every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)

"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'

yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO

ARRRGGGH

fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker

story - u get a new job, u really like the boss and work env, have been assigned a v ambitious project.. which involves v critical deploy control, data backfills and multiple level of integrations, takes 2 quarters to complete, in the mean time ur fav boss left for a better job and new boss doesn’t seems to understand the gravity of the project and thinks u r just sitting there twinkling fingers...anyways fast forward to d-day : deploys go fine everything working great... time to run some post deploy scripts for some data consistency, a single change to another piece of code done by some one else 2 days back triggers an additional logic and damn suddenly the app users loose ownership to part of the data they owned... u run history reports, do data loads to assign them back, some data errors out, u r about to manually set that up - u drop ur laptop from ur table and it refuses to restart - and all the Prep data is gone and all the scripts are gone and it’s a weekend so no IT Sypport... u r without a laptop for next 24 hours... the struggle continues... next update on Monday

I am really considering teaching my wife how to code just so she can understand my rants better

I feel like the gravity of my ranting is not communicated well enough without programming context

!dev (maybe slightly)

I went to a CV Workshop organized by my first school. The presenter was the slightly-arrogant/know-it-all/cool type of guy who's a recruiter and also has his own company he runs. The presentation was OK, even though it took longer than announced. However, there were some things that bugged me. He expects everyone somehow to be extraordinary. Granted he works as a recruiter and his clients would like only the cream of the top, but some of the examples he gave from his personal experience, he seemed to give more gravity on other traits of the candidates than their achievements and qualifications (e.g. rejecting a candidate because she had posted a photo of her clubbing on Facebook). Also, somehow he judges candidates based on their parents profession. Lucky me that I fall into the category he dislikes. Now the fun part (sorry for the long post):

Next week there's a career day. I sent my CV as soon as I got the mail and then I also phoned the person in charge (as per the instructions). Yesterday on the workshop it was said we should resend our CVs by tomorrow on another mail? No problem you may think, but that said recruiter will take a look on them and that means I will have to rework mine just to make sure it is to his liking. I'm no fan of writing mission statements, nor trying to guess what my qualities (aka soft skills) are because what I think I am doesn't mean I actually am.

So now, I'm in a dilemma. Just send the CV as is or get a mental breakdown just so to please that person?
Thanks everyone for your patience and time, I just wanted to pump some steam out me...

Every time i take a shit i feel like i lose 30 kg weight and can jump so high i can almost fly. Almost as if gravity = 0;

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

I sincerely want to thank Google.
I was this introverted guy with lots of questions to ask.
Whenever I try to ask question I could not. It might be - my ass liked the bench too much or gravity was different for me.
Anyway, Thanks google.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

*coffee time 5 issues*
*While solving issues 4 more issues*
*Total 11 new issues while leaving office*

Do testers realise the gravity of time?

You know, if gravity was to disappear all of a sudden, Shit would hit the fan !
Quite literally 😶

When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...

You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?

That. I felt like doing that.

I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.

I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.

1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.

So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.

I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.

I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.

I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.

It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.

Excuse my language, but:

Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.

If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:

May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.

I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.

Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:

Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.

I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!

Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!

LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!

Postman App logo seems like Michael Jackson doing his famous Anti Gravity Lean

!programming related

The karman line is bullshit.

If you aren't at escape velocity for your local planet's gravity well, then you aren't in fucking space.

Blue origin is a lie.

Finishing at least one novel so I can jumpstart a new career and get out of web development while I'm still ahead. That or get better at math/physics so I can solve anti-gravity/free energy and become a legend. Neither of these things is ever likely to happen.

I was writing a simple algorithm to simulate gravity. But when I tested it it produced wildly wrong results. I looked over my whole algorithm trying to find the error, but thought that the last bit, the final position update, must be fine.
I was wrong, some misplaced brackets were accidentally multiplying the position + 0.5 by the sum of the old & new velocity instead of adding the position to 0.5 those velocities.

I noticed that and fixed it, and now it runs pretty well.

Okay so I'm one of those developers who haven't moved to constraint layouts yet. I've been working on heavily nested layouts (for obvious reasons) and the gravity chooses to kill the fun every time :))

Motivation ? How about the utility bill & the rent ? Food occasionally , coffee definitely . No motivation , no pay . No pay , no coffee . A slope that the snowball continues down , motivated by gravity .

Does not end well .

Imagine living in fucking 2021 and still be writing unit tests. If genius can generate gravity, with those stupid people I bet antigravity exists lmao

DREAM 1
(my comments look like this)

A kikiland metro system. It's extradimensional and shapeshifting. When you enter it, it adapts to your needs. The people inside (they're probably just vinyl shells), the social circumstances, all generated for you.
When you enter it, it knows where you want to go. It spawns exactly one train just for you. It will be the first, it will be the last. You have to catch it to go where you need. If you miss it, there will be no more trains, and you have to wait till the metro station closes for the night and reopens.
It's always you entering, catching the train that arrives just in time, going to where you need to go and exiting.
Because of its extradimensional nature, you cannot agree to meet someone there — every person has their own personal metro generated just for them every time, with exactly one train going exactly to the station you need.

It's used by BLA as a form of control. When they don't want you to go somewhere, the train won't spawn. Or, it might diverge and get you to some other place. It isn't known whether the map can be altered on the fly or not. So far, the consensus is that the map is persistent and is a public knowledge, and it's just the metro itself that is extradimensional. But, no one ever saw the real metro in its real form, and not the top layer that protrudes into the three-dimensional world you can interact with. It might be the case that they can make people disappear by creating ad-hoc stations that don't intersect with the real world, trapping them in places that are nowhere in particular.

(it took seeing BLA once in one dream to make all the following dreams include them. Sigh.)

Kikiland also has a school, and it always had it. I befriended a chemistry teacher there. His classroom is small — exactly as deep as other classrooms, but really narrow. There are no desks there, just his desk and some bookshelves. Chemistry isn't a priority there — his class exists only because it should. No one attends it. This is why he was so pleased to meet me. Despite his classroom being located on a busy floor, its door is overlooked by students, and NO ONE ever enters it. He just sits there, waiting for students to arrive, but they never do.
He has a secret, though, because of course he does. In the game Control, if you complete the main storyline before you complete some side quests, one of the main characters will be sitting in the C-suit hall, doing her things, waiting for you to come and talk to her. But at the same time, she will be waiting for you deep down the oldest house's mines, again, just sitting there, waiting for you to take the quest. This teacher is the same.

If you have a good relationship with him, and you attend his class, the classroom will change to a tunnel entrance, with him being the security guard. He's your friend, he'll let you in. It looks like Fallout's vault entrance. THIS is how you enter the REAL kikiland metro. (Dream 1 ends here.)

Episode 2
Tiny waterborne rat puppies whose mouth is their entire face unfolding like a piece of paper with teeth covering it as a grid. (I wrote about them already, but here they are again.) They are _tiny_, a bit like tadpoles. Also, like tadpoles, they die if you touch them out of water. As I was flying over some mountain resort (I routinely fly in my dreams, but it feels more like a very low gravity falling I can control, like using a parachute in GTA San Andreas), I dumped them to a location that resembled the garden level of Prince of Persia: Warrior Within for my cat to eat. It didn't want to.

I need to learn JS in the next two days for an interview... Tips please.
I live on 10th floor and yes gravity works 😇

Form plugin for WordPress on a seriously out of date install won't update until I update WordPress core. Fine, I update core and update the plugin and test the forms again. Form still isn't sending emails on submission. Look into forms settings. Oh look error messages, awesome!

Message: "There are 2 configuration errors"

OK, what are the errors where are the errors?

"There are two configuration errors."

Gee that's really fucking helpful, why even tell me you can see the errors if you aren't going to fucking tell me where the blasted things are. Spend 4 fucking hours trying to figure this out, checking "docs" wiki, support forums, nothing.

Finally decided to just trash the client's form plugin they were using and installed my reliable Gravity Forms.

P.S. if you are going to write code to find errors, and tell me about them, then you had better fucking tell me what the goddamned error is. There is no need to waste a developer's time trying to debug your shitty plugin because you couldn't be bothered to write a useful error handler.

Scientists trying to solve the anti-gravity equation should really take a closer look through the steadily growing flora of compilation-errors...

Nothing else has managed to dissovle gravity in 0.2 seconds making the object fly through space as those errors have made laptops do since the dawn of time.

☀️ HI 👋 FELLOW 🙌 DEVS 😇

I was just wondering if anyone happens to know the guy who's kinda famous in the dev world who does the presentation on next-level/out of the box programming where one of the examples is a mario like game, and he basically simulates all the gravity and jump options and has a ghost appear behind the character so that he can place the platform the most effectively.. etc..

I saw it ages ago but I can't find it anymore!!!!! Don't think it was a ted talk but maybe.

Btw, Raycast is fucking incredible, especially the emoji extension + hyperkey!!!! 🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯

ive been coding all day for days and as i was sitting trying to code more features something mentally hit me like, invisible falcon punched me, like something snapped inside my mind and i literally lost balance in my brain and could not control my balance, if i stood up i would instantly fall down, picture it as trying to walk without bones in your body, fortunately i was sitting down on the chair so i didnt collapse on the floor, it felt like there was no gravity and i was just floating, but my head started falling down on the table as i was sitting, it was outside of my control, and then everything started fading to black, my brain could not even think anything at this moment, i wanted to speak but i forgot how to speak words, not even joking, turned out i slipped into unconsciousness for a few moments and got back up, slowly regaining my balance and speech/consciousness control.

what the fuck just happened

i am surprised i could remember everything what happened until i blacked out

why didnt anyone warn me these are the consequences of working extraordinarily harder?

But how about those spinal disc injuries we start to suffer even at the age of 30 by sitting at the desk all day? Zero gravity chair my ass during that expensive training session in the gym after disc operation! Is that whats waiting for us at the end of the vpn tunnel?

I extended WooCommerce functionality using gravity forms. For users to upload files. I want a script or function to automatically append order I'd to the begining of the filename on any order. I know you had the platform but ....

Once upon a time in the exciting world of web development, there was a talented yet somewhat clumsy web developer named Emily. Emily had a natural flair for coding and a deep passion for creating innovative websites. But, alas, there was a small caveat—Emily also had a knack for occasional mishaps.

One sunny morning, Emily arrived at the office feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new project. The task at hand involved making some updates to a live website's database. Now, databases were like the brains of websites, storing all the precious information that kept them running smoothly. It was a delicate dance of tables, rows, and columns that demanded utmost care.

Determined to work efficiently, Emily delved headfirst into the project, fueled by a potent blend of coffee and enthusiasm. Fingers danced across the keyboard as lines of code flowed onto the screen like a digital symphony. Everything seemed to be going splendidly until...

Click

With an absentminded flick of the wrist, Emily unintentionally triggered a command that sent shivers down the spines of seasoned developers everywhere: DROP DATABASE production;.

A heavy silence fell over the office as the gravity of the situation dawned upon Emily. In the blink of an eye, the production database, containing all the valuable data of the live website, had been deleted. Panic began to bubble up, but instead of succumbing to despair, Emily's face contorted into a peculiar mix of terror and determination.

"Code red! Database emergency!" Emily exclaimed, wildly waving their arms as colleagues rushed to the scene. The office quickly transformed into a bustling hive of activity, with developers scrambling to find a solution.

Sarah, the leader of the IT team and a cool-headed veteran, stepped forward. She observed the chaos and immediately grasped the severity of the situation. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Alright, folks, let's turn this catastrophe into a triumph!" Sarah declared, rallying the team around Emily. They formed a circle, with Emily now sporting an eye-catching pink cowboy hat—an eccentric colleague's lucky charm.

With newfound confidence akin to that of a comedic hero, Emily embraced their role and began spouting jokes, puns, and amusing anecdotes. Tension in the room slowly dissipated as the team realized that panicking wouldn't fix the issue.

Meanwhile, Sarah sprang into action, devising a plan to recover the lost database. They set up backup systems, executed data retrieval scripts, and even delved into the realm of advanced programming techniques that could be described as a hint of magic. The team worked tirelessly, fueled by both caffeine and the contagious laughter that filled the air.

As the hours ticked by, the team managed to reconstruct the production database, salvaging nearly all of the lost data. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. And in the end, the mishap transformed into a wellspring of inside jokes and memes that permeated the office.

From that day forward, Emily became known as the "Database Destroyer," a moniker forever etched into the annals of office lore. Yet, what could have been a disastrous event instead became a moment of unity and resilience. The incident served as a reminder that mistakes are inevitable and that the best way to tackle them is with humor and teamwork.

And so, armed with a touch of silliness and an abundance of determination, Emily continued their journey in web development, spreading laughter and code throughout the digital realm.