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Today I figured out how to remotely control my student's computers and how to send them messages when they're not doing the right thing
11 -
Boss: When will the website be ready?
Me: Um, maximum by Tuesday
*Boss comes back Tuesday*
Boss: Ok, show me the website...
Me: ....
Boss: ....
Me: I didn't say which Tuesday....2 -
Internet... ..
Googles how to fix the notification delay.
1 hr later.........
At YouTube looking at a video of how to give mouth to mouth to a fish 😮6 -
After moving to SSD I noticed I'm too slow for my computer. When it finishes working I can feel it asking me "you done thinking m8?"4
-
*my friends wanted to learn how to use linux*
My friend: "So, how do you edit this file ?"
Me: "Use Vim" *sadistic smile*8 -
While I'm in pause time with my colleagues and reading on wiki how, the boss comes to me and asks:
Boss: what are you reading?
Me: how to Quit Your Job Graciously 😊
Boss: 😐
The next day the boss offered me a +€0,50 p/hour.3 -
Git Pull Failed, Merge Conflict.
Me:
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
Me:
Delete local project folder and pull the project down again.13 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?
me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-
PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-
PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-
PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?
me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-
PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.
for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up23 -
Tester: I'm going to start testing your Android code. How do I set up it?
Me: just bring me an Android test device and I'll show you
Tester: *comes back holding a big golden phone*
Me: *huh? Haven't seen that Android device before... I wonder which manufacturer made it*
Tester: *puts down golden phone on my desk* here you go!
Me: 😱😱😱😱
...
HUH? This is an iPhone!!!!
😩😱😧😖😰😫😵😱😱4 -
OK! all you windows haters.
This is why i totally love windows to death.
it has awesome features no other OS has...
like, installing updates to office and Skype when they are not even installed, there's not even a registry entry anywhere for them!!
now show me another OS that updates non existing software and ill be all over it!
On a serious note, does anyone know how windows would think office and Skype are installed since I can’t find a single trace of them anywhere?
25 -
Client: Do you know how to make this WordPress faster?
Me: yup.
* 30 minutes later*
Me: *googles* "How to make WordPress faster"7 -
This is an old screen that I took some years ago and never had a good place to share...
Hope this helps someone to choose the right language :D
https://postimg.org/image/454565eej
10 -
That moment when your game appears on some Formula 1 Hungarian website and your server's network transfer is gone from 10 GB left to 2 GB left in just 2 days... But still - I'm proud of myself
http://formula.hu/parc-ferme/16549
10 -
That feel when your grandpa taught himself how to stream movies online and asks you to finally teach him how to torrent.
I'm so proud.3 -
Other students:
#define redLed 2
#define yellowLed 3
#define greenLed 4
void setup ()
{
pinMode(redLed, OUTPUT);
pinMode(yellowLed, OUTPUT) ;
pinMode(greenLed, OUTPUT) ;
}
Me:
void setup ()
{
for (int i=2;i<5;i++)
pinMode (i, OUTPUT);
}
Proff - This code is wrong it won't work. Where have you specified red led, green led, yellow led?
Me - wtf! Code doesn't know which led is used in what pin it's just pin numbers!
Gave me less marks 😑
P. S. I wrote comments in my code specifying which pin will have what led connected 😑14 -
THERE IS ACTUALLY A REPOSITORY ON HOW TO ANNOY DEVELOPERS.
WOW. JUST WOW.
https://github.com/omidfi/...
http://howtoannoyawebdeveloper.com5 -
Recently I came upon this:
*image attached*
It's a guide of how to speak in a programer's language🧐.
3 -
How do i save a Word document?
How do i convert it to a pdf?
What is a pdf at all?
How to put all those things on a usb?
Why is this Pc not working?
I should start to charge by Minute...8 -
Before knowing how to use git: Pff, it's ridiculous...
After knowing how to use git: *modifies 3 lines*
*git commit*5 -
Person: How are you?
Me: *googles,,, 'how to respond to a how are you questions'*
Me to Me: What is happening to me???!! I need help!!!
Also Me: *Posts about it on devrant*12 -
Our first programming class was about how to prepare a cup of tea, how to write the pseudo code of this process, then how to write it using any programming language... It was the greatest lecture ever...5
-
Me: knows how to program a neural network
Also me: doesn't know how to use it
Again me: bad at math so doesn't know how to use the outputs of a neural network21 -
People points at something on my monitor: My nuts climb the tree to hide
People points at something on my monitOR BY FUCKING TOUCHING IT: My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable. And fuck you.
Official statistics say that people who touches a monitors screen while im nearby, lives significantly shorter time than people who dont.
16 -
Everytime I think I've come so far, I realise how far I still have to go and how much I have to learn.7
-
April fools day prank idea:
1. Replace all semicolons with Greek question marks
2. Add a Gradle task that automatically fixes the semicolons, but only when run on the build servers
3. Watch as people get confused because the code builds in the server but not locally3 -
!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.
I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.27 -
Learning a new programming language:
1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods
*winks at stack overflow and github*5 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
My CPU temperature under sustained full load has reached 46°C where it used to be 43°C. That leaves two conclusions: either the thermal paste has gone bad, or summer has started.32
-
Getting zero encouragement or positive feedback from my boss is really killing me from the inside. There isn't even a negative feedback. There's absolutely nothing.
PhD is such a lonely path as it is, and being ignored by your advisor is just...soul-crushing.
I did a collaboration with my friend from another lab, and even though her lab is bigger and crazier than ours, her professor found the time to compliment our work and even told us he will present it in a presentation he gives in Meta. Really, it's not that hard to say a kind word here and there.4 -
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4 -
Can I just say that the absolute most important skill for any kind of programmer or engineer is knowing HOW TO FUCKING GOOGLE!!!
<Background>
I am the head of programing on my school's Robotics Team. We're relatively know, however most all of my teammates know how to program and they are all very talented academically. In fact my "Lieutenant" will be the valedictorian.
</Background>
Seriously I missed one meeting yesterday because of the flu. Imagine me lying in bed and suddenly getting multiple calls from the team (even the valedictorian) asking how to fix errors from Android Studio. I asked them if they googled them and they said "No we didn't".
Why is knowing how to google not apart of any kind of CS education! They could have been after an hour, but NOOO it took them after 5 hours!!
Oh my FUCKING GOD!!5 -
Dear Product Owners,
If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.
I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.
then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.
I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.
after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.
Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job
PS: get fucked3 -
I've run into problems with the app I'm working on, the problems are related to issues regarding code.
No in fact it's related the last guy who wrote the app, the code has no comments and the variable names make no sense, the only comments in the code are blocks of code... With no reason as to why it was commented.
I have to add in some checks to determine if a person that has logged in is a full member or not (full member has access to the feature I've added) and the way the guy has made this app works makes no sense to me at all.
I've tried my best to avoid all contact with his code because it makes me want to yell out in frustration.
But for this one case I have to work with what's there.
I know I've mentioned this before but I've hit my limit yet again.
And for those who don't know this guy managed to scrape together skeleton code from two apps to make part of this app, rather than using parts of the other apps he left out code that was specifically made for the other apps, (majority of the commented out code).
One app was a taxi app and from the looks of it the feature he used was to get GPS location (which I don't understand before Google maps is a think after all... The taxi app USES Google maps), the other app is some sort of funeral webcasting app (I found code imports for it, without any actual code).
I don't actual understand how this guy could put this together without not thinking "maybe this is a bad idea"
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
I'm that psychopath right now..... Fuck that guy (don't know where he lives though)1 -
Screw the Chief Technology Clown role...
I'm now officially Chief Babysitting Clown...
Skills I can teach you include the following:
- How to read JIRA tickets
- How to write JIRA tickets
- How to check colleagues' calendars
- How to define requirements in English and not some sort of technologically challenged caveman language
- How NOT to do any programming (since I don't have time for that anymore)
And many, many more! Inquire within!4 -
So Microsoft removed the transparency Aero Glass effect going from Windows 7 to 10, to make 10 more "modern", even though 7 was pretty as fuck with that transparency.
Now they're bringing it back with their wanky "acrylic" blur?
Make up your mind Microsoft6 -
Why do people jump from c to python quickly. And all are about machine learning. Free days back my cousin asked me for books to learn python.
Trust me you have to learn c before python. People struggle going from python to c. But no ml, scripting,
And most importantly software engineering wtf?
Software engineering is how to run projects and it is compulsory to learn python and no mention of got it any other vcs, wtf?
What the hell is that type of college. Trust me I am no way saying python is weak, but for learning purpose the depth of language and concepts like pass by reference, memory leaks, pointers.
And learning algorithms, data structures, is more important than machine learning, trust me if you cannot model the data, get proper training data, testing data then you will get screewed up outputs. And then again every one who hype these kinds of stuff also think that ml with 100% accuracy is greater than 90% and overfit the data, test the model on training data. And mostly the will learn in college will be by hearting few formulas, that's it.
Learn a language (concepts in language) like then you will most languages are easy.
Cool cs programmer are born today😖
31 -
"I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing it out"
Yes, and I'm going to point out that you're throwing insults around like a maniac, which makes your "opinion" seem emptier and emptier, until it resembles your cerebral matter as if it was a shadow copy of it. Fuck you.1 -
First day programming: "The hell is this?"
234th day programming: You start to think how every single thing works and how to make it -
I was just waiting for it to happen. The gaslighting charade finally crumbles.
Tldr: was strongly asked to work overtime again for no reason, refused it (weakly, but it is a start).
(Boss isn't actually my boss, just my unofficial lead at the moment.)
1.4 hours after regular work hours:
Me: boss, this issue is still not resolved but I am out of ideas for it. Already shared my last resort idea twice with you but you don't agree to it. If you are available I can meet you for a short call before logging off for the weekend.
.
10 minutes later, just as I am about to log off.
.
Boss: let's meet. The problem implies something wrong with your code. Let's check.
Me: [ugh] okay
.
Boss then rambles on about a juvenile nsfw joke to describe the situation and I force a laugh, we get to the topic. I manage to explain the situation despite the interruptions from him. Then he shares his genius idea. We agree it might work but the implementation will be slightly tricky. It is now 2 hours outside of work hours.
.
Boss: can you try it out and let me know if it works?
Me: sure, I'll try it out on Monday and keep you posted.
Boss: Monday?!! Look, it is getting on my nerves now, this has been going on for too long (false, since the issue is from a day before not a week before and I had asked for help multiple times before today).
I don't even know what big boss is going to be like. This needs to be done.
Me:. ...
[ You manipulative asshole, I'm not doing overtime for you, I owe you nothing and don't give a shit about your senile nerves. Fuck you and your shit codebase and clusterfuck development environment which makes the hairballs in a public toilet look well engineered.]
Look, it is difficult for me too...
Boss: If not now, I can accept weekend. Because I don't know how big boss will take it. You understand right what I'm saying. This needs to be done.
Me: [Fuck off scum chod! Take your acceptance, fuck it hard, and take it away with you! ]
Hmm. Let's see what can be done.
Thanks for your help.
Logged off.
I can't express the tone of his righteous rage in words.
I have never had to face such revolting attitude before from people at work. I just don't get how people can be so ridiculous. The whole team is filled with chodebags of different sizes.35 -
About to post my first question on SO.
Wish me luck.
How should I word a question without getting downvoted into Oblivion.
(Fucking polymer)8 -
Just bought a green foldable bicycle. 😊 Trying to learn how to master biking straight then will learn how to turn.28
-
That moment when you ask a question on StackOverflow and didn't get any down votes or comments for it being an "unfit" question 😁3
-
So, stranger things season 2, Bob is hacking a system with BASIC, writing entire lines with one keyboard press. Such skill. Much wow.
Have I missed something lately? xD10 -
One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it." -
I see loads of students here.. and loads of freelancers and startup joiners.. all varieties...but one.. Anyone has a 'normal' 9-5 or sth (dev) work? Does that even exist?! Anyone stands up when the 8h are up and can leave the work behind?
I can't.. even when I leave the office I have algos & code stuck in my head..trying to solve the problem I worked on..
How do you handle non dev life? Is there anything left in a day?
I usually work monday-friday on avg 9h/day and have no idea how to manage not being fucked up at the end of the week. :\ I am trying to get back climbing, but usually I am just soooooo tiiiiireeeeeed after work.. I wanna sleep but when I close my eyes I see the code.. at least one core still left working..19 -
I'm beginning to think that it's not important to know how to code anymore, but how good you are at handling management.5
-
School taught me how to read,
Python taught me how to think,
JavaScript taught me how to work,
Go taught me how to act.10 -
Relating to @mksana 's rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/2218392/...
Here is how you add emoji's to a rant when using Windows:
22 -
Knowing how to write doesn't make you a writer. Knowing how to program doesn't make you a programmer.9
-
When your boss asks you if you know how to fix it and how long it is going to take.
Task Manager (not responding) -
Me skills
Angular, jQuery? YES AND YES
Laravel? YES,
JS? YES, ES6 INCLUDED
Employer: "Kay, we have a project. Can you make a website? "
...
How to do slicing...
how to bootstrap
How to CSS
HTML is magical -
Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)1 -
why did kotlin documents use these fucking idiotic font that combines 2 characters into one stupid looking icon? how is it friendly to a noob? how am i suppose to know how exactly am I suppose to input these piece of shit?
21 -
Watching IT guy on the show "How to get away with murder" explain how to hack:
"It's not that complicated, really. You just download that app from the deep web and worm your way into the phone company's main frame using basic java code. Anyone can learn how to do that."
Thats how you do it! Thank me later.8 -
So, here I am at a guided internship programme, hosted by Indian Railways.
They told us to report at the Personnel Office by 10:00 AM. When I reached there, they told us the venue has been changed (to a place 1km away, with no transportation) and the official "forgot" to inform the 500+ candidates.
Yet, we moved to the said Hall, and am waiting for 1 hour (10:59 AM here), watching :
1. The stupid technician trying to align the projector
2. The stupid presenter trying to copy something and failing, as his pen drive gets disconnected halfway the process.
3. The VIPs having snacks and coffee on-stage while we the students wait here looking at those dumb assholes.
How am I supposed to respect them tomorrow at work?12 -
I find it interesting to see how scenarios sometimes flip.
30 years ago, the generally accepted "best" thing to do when when interacting with a person of colour was to "not see colour" - to treat them as you would anyone else. Meanwhile the similarly accepted "best" thing to do when interacting with a physically disabled person was to recognise their disability, help them if appropriate, give them a boost, encourage them, etc.
Today it seems very much like the opposite. The correct thing to do when interacting with an ethnic minority is to see their colour, recognise their struggle, help them if appropriate, etc. - whereas with disabilities, that approach generally seems to have been labelled "inspiration porn", and the correct thing to do is simply not to see the disability, treating them like you would anyone else.
Not entirely comparable of course, but there's enough similarity there that I find the situation interesting.5 -
Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault
UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890
> I think I almost died inside.
Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.3 -
Guess who just taught his wife how to commit, push, some command lines, and how to exit vim?
Also, I had to teach her over FB messenger.4 -
We have so many meetings.
"I once had a meeting which was to discuss how to organize meetings on how to manage tech debts"
"God knows WHY!"3 -
today, we're going to learn how to make web dev complicated and how to annoy users with a simple technique. learn by example
2 -
That feeling when you view your older projects and see how distorted your code was, how much boilerplate code, realize how stupid you were.
Good to see how times have changed.
3 -
Fun fact: if you look at video release dates, Tom Scott learned how to fly a jetpack before learning how to ride a bike.2
-
How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.
Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.8 -
Been looking into 2D maps for a game. I am learning how to use tools that do autotiling. I want to have generated worlds for terrain. It is interesting how the scope of what you are learning starts expanding rapidly and can overwhelm you. I started wanting to learn autotiling. This went from that to autogen, to modifying terrain, to how to store generated terrain, to how to store difference between autogen and player modified, to how to separate things into chunks, to how to store a whole world worth of data! Like dude, chill. Just learn how to use autotiling first. Then learn how autogen, then learn how to efficiently chunk things,. Also the 2d data won't be big so just store the data you genned so if modified. The worlds don't have to be ultra huge. Really stop freaking out what it could be and see what it is. JUST FUCKING ITERATE!
It is wild to watch yourself get featuritus without learning how to crawl fist. Just divide and conquer.33 -
Well. Fuck.
A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.
I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.
This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.
I'm feeling seriously dirty.1 -
P L E A S E
Do not just teach them on how to program. Teach them on how to properly write a documentation and how to properly execute a project. Like, don't start coding directly. Teach how to plan a project properly especially on estimation. (lol)4 -
Don't know what the exact deal with Microsoft's Edgy Explorer but ffs, everytime I open it to check how something is rendered it prompts to be default then gets salty when declined and pops the control panel, suggesting it as default...13
-
Web class(html)
1.how to create table
2.how to use Colspan
3.how to use Rowspan
4.Col+row
5.(O_O)
*cant use css*annoying but at the same time awesome..next class gonna be javascript cant wait 👌🏻👌🏻
#Student #Html #webprogramming5 -
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
One of the devs at my internship company decided to have a client's website load all of it's pages from the website's Database.
That's right, a PAGE as a database row!
And I don't mean having it get some of the info from the columns and putting it into the page's html with php or some shit. No, I mean an actual html file copy pasted and added into the database.
This company scares me sometimes.1 -
I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.
5 -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)
Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.
Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?
Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!1 -
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
-
I think I need to go to a bootcamp, so I can go through everything I need to learn: how to pair program, how to explain your code to someone else, how to prepare for a technical interview, etc.11
-
Experience doesnt equate number of years you worked. It acummulate through each problem/challenge we solve everyday. What your view, please share.2
-
Confession: I know how to use Git but I want to learn how to use it properly so my team won't crucify me.8
-
How to know your network proxy sucks: when everything IDE-related (downloading new package, using Gradle…) is blocked, but almost everything prohibited (like streaming) isn't.
Love university.15 -
Reading in a while for a slackbot creation tutorial. Then suddenly, a random note appears:
"Be sure to use version 0.3.0 of slackbots as newer version are not perfectly compatible with what's illustrated in this tutorial."
THEN UPDATE YOUR TUTORIAL!
DO NOT! WASTE MY TIME! -
How do you guys know how much to ask for freelance work? I'm always scared to ask too much and lose a client1
-
Anyone here practice mindfulness? Got any tips for staying mindful while in front of a computer and coding? and at work?7
-
I saw a feed long before which described how to generate an image like this, Does anyone know how to do this?
7 -
@dfox, @trogus, would you consider adding the topic for next week to be "Near miss: how I almost lost all my code/data"?
It sould be fun, and people can also learn something. Like what not to do, how to recover and how to prevent this kind of stuff...1 -
When I was in seventh grade, I learned to solve quadratic equations and how to convert from standard form to vertex form
Today, when I had to convert a quadratic equation, I completely blanked on how to do it
I can’t remember how to do math seventh graders know
Fml3 -
FUCK YOUUU GERRIT, YOU CAN SUCK MY BALLS, YOU'RE JUST A BOOTLEGGED VERSION OF GITHUB BECAUSE GOOGLED WANTED TO MAKE SOME $$, SING ALONG ERRBODY1
-
> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.
-
My mistake for using edge. Uggggggg I hate microsoft. My parents don't know how to use word. How could they know how to set up parental controls.
Fuck Mega$hit.
9 -
I'm just joining this field, and already I hate it when family ask what exactly I'm learning.
I can either dumb it down to the old "I make computer go beep beep" and get met with accusations of rudeness, tell the full details and have them look lost, or try and dumb it down and get met with patronizing remarks ("Oh yeah, I remember doing that last Thrusday! Sure, yeah!).
How do you explain this shit to your folks?9 -
People that contact me through LinkedIn trying to sell me some marketing shit or asking me about some issue with the service provided by a company that I started but with which I don't have any relation whatsoever since October 2016, which by the way is pretty clearly stated in my LinkedIn profile,…
DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING READ??? Stop pestering me about that company. I don't have anything to do with it, I can't do anything about it and, even if I could, I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO.1 -
Soooo
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?5 -
When working as a full-time developer
TGIF!, Its already 6 hours? YES!
Working freelance or on your side-project
TFIG?! What TGIF. This feature took 6 hours? FML. -
Has anyone ever had an eBay addiction... I think I may have "25 days of Christmas" coming in the next few weeks....
Yes that's how much stuff I've randomly bought/might end up buying if I win the auctions...
I really should stop...3 -
I am 21 years old and I work on Machine Learning and deep learning. I have this problem and any advice on this is highly appreciated:
Whenever I sit to code, I put on some light music over the headphones. As soon as I sit, my parents think that I am wasting my time on YouTube or watching a movie. It is not easy to convince Indian parents. What should I do to get into coding without being interrupted or being falsely accused of enjoying in front of the computer? (Locking the room with be disastrous and I have tried it 😅)
Please help 🙏7 -
*me discovering esp32*
Wow it's amazing!
i'll get one for my project.
*me working with esp32*
I ported my project to esp32, and.....
Wtf!?! after some time (unpredictable 1sec to N mins) i2c devices stops working. (i2c reset doesn't solve)
I lost several weeks trying to fix that
I felt so angry.
then I realized that it's not my fault
it is a bad implementation of i2c api by espressif.
at this point there is only one thing to do.
throw away the esp32!
(at least for some months waiting for espressif fix)
now i did a git revert and switched back to arduino.
now everything works and it's an awesome sensation!5 -
So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.
I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.
The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.
My question to you all is this:
How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?
I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.
What do you guys and girls think?5 -
"How do you do an NSLOOKUP?" Random developer today.... seriously, you've been a developer for two decades, and you don't know how to do an NSLOOKUP? Or at least how to Google to do an NSLOOKUP?
-
I've been instructed to learn and create proof of concepts on a machine:
- Isolated from everyone at a different physical location
- Without admin rights
- With nothing that I need installed
- With no Internet connection
How8 -
When you have some important system maintenance planned but your body says "not this time wolke" and just gives you 3 days off with sickness :<
-
How do you deal with relatively complex Boolean logic requirements?
Here's a simple example, of which I missed 50% of the cases because it was non-intuitive to me:
A year is a leap year if:
- it is divisible by 4
- except it is also divisible by 100
- unless it is also divisible by 400
To my intuition, the logic tree is as follows:
if (year % 4 == 0) -> true
if (year % 100 == 0) -> false
if (year % 400 == 0) -> true
so I ended up with 3 cases and I initially missed all the others until I started coding.
The full solution is:
if(year % 4 === 0) {
if(year % 100 === 0) {
if(year % 400 === 0) {
true
} else {
false
}
false
} else {
true
}
true
} else {
false
}
}
I don't like it when I don't immediately see all logic paths.19 -
How do you test unreachable code or part that is considered an edge case?
For example I catch exceptions in case IO failed and data was not written on database, but that only happens if hardware failure, or no disk space left, how do I mimic that?
I also have unreachable code for example, in one layer I fetch data (lets call it function x) and always return success result unless item not found I throw KeyNotFound exception. But in the calling function I handle the case of Status == Failed
Just in-case in the future I change function x and start returning failed status, so my logic already written but never reachable12 -
Its time to remind ourselves the wonderful time of the year, where people look back and decide to be better and learn from your mistakes...
For example never test in prod and wake me up with notifications you dumbfucks... Someone has exams to do..
Seriously, I have seen a lot of push notifications lately, its some kind of Letstestinprod-uary?
1 -
ME IRL:
-submits pull request-
-goes to close some windows .... er ... naw-
-creates new virtual desktop to work in and leaves the old desktop / code open in case there are some bugs that pop up in production...-2 -
Continuing my saga, I'm now tasked with creating a .NET Web Form app and then converting it to ASP.NET Core as a proof of concept.
Problems:
- Web Forms are not supported in Core and are not planned to
- After 3 weeks I still do not have a work laptop
-- My personal laptop is a Chrome book running Linux
--- I can't install VS2017 on my laptop, I need it for this project.
- Working from home, where I have the resources available, is apparently against company policy (I'm not 100% on this yet, can't find it myself)
- I'm likely going to be sent back to the offline computer lab at a different location to work on this, where I doubt the programs/packages are installed
Perfect.4 -
I have a strong web dev background so um doing a bit of logical programming now...
Reading those tutorial I got sooo excited because of how they always say
"Programming is when you give a computer instructions what to do and how to do it"
But the truth is Its when a computer tells you how to tell it what to do and how to tell it how to do it....
SO WHO IS CONTROLLING WHO??1 -
How to charge a Drone battery with a power bank (or how to burn a battery, lipo module and maby power bank)
2 -
I work for a tech company, centered on computer vision and video processing. I mean, we're not exactly the most Web centric company I grant you. That said I've just noticed a post on LinkedIn a couple of days ago celebrating our new start. The URL?
...
...
That starts http://localhost/ -
It's a difference between a real programmer and a programmer. One knows how to code and one knows how to google.1
-
working on a Cloud IDE...
And we've moved from Angular, Vue, MemeStrap and finally Handlebars with vue -
I feel really dumb when I've spent the last three days trying to understand how Sass works and how to actually make it run.3
-
Hi guys what is the meaning of double back slash in my Git folder? It is not removed when I do a "git clean -fd". This is the first time I encountered something like this.
$ git status
On branch master
Changes not staged for commit:
(use "git add <file>..." to update what will be committed)
(use "git checkout -- <file>..." to discard changes in working directory)
modified: some/folder/hello.php
Untracked files:
(use "git add <file>..." to include in what will be committed)
"\\"
no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")8 -
Hello fellow Ranters,
I'm in need of some help, I want to try building a small website, like maybe 4 pages worth of work for my uncle. But I'd like to build it in such a way that a non-programmer (my uncle) could upload photos to a portfolio section through an administrative console page. I'm doing this mostly to learn how to build something like this and also as a side project to help out my uncle.
From what I've read, I'm thinking that Angular (maybe?) might be the right way to go about building dynamic pages, but I'm not really sure and was wondering what you guys would suggest? If possible can you please also recommend a place where I can find examples for something like this?
Thank you in advance for your help and recommendations, I really appreciate it!!!7 -
Yesterday I had an interview where they would ask me why of everething many times.
Good exercise to do before the meeting by yourself1 -
(heading)How a programming language is created? Because I want to make my own.(heading)
I am learning C and next I will learn C++, SQL,DS&A, Assembley, Lex&Yacc,Operating Systems, Computer Arcticture, Computer Networks because I think it's enough for my goal. The only reason I am learning this, to make my own C++ clone with my own knowledge. But I really don't know how can I create my own programming language like C++ from scratch. Like what are the first steps to began with. As I know that C, first step is Preprocessor then Compiler then Assembler then (Loader/Linker).
Anyone please give me a step by step guide like learn this language first then this then this. So I can finally reach that amount of knowledge which I can implement to create my own programming language like C++.6 -
So... Quick question, how do I enable Devrant plus again?
Had to stop behind a supporter 2 years ago cause of unemployment, now I want back in :p3 -
FUCK MY LIFE! POSTMAN! it fucking opened with a full white theme, everything was grayscaled and still it made me go blind like after a fucking flashbang, holy shit.1
-
It's been fun, Lords and Ladies. I've enjoyed learning from you all and laughing (and raging) at your rants, but I think it's time I head out.6
-
every work i'm at, every assignment i do, i have to learn how THEY do things, how THEY think about things, i can't just be doing stuff, i have to be thinking about how THEY want me to do the stuff, how THEY would do it.
... who the fuck am I? how the fuck do I do stuff and think about stuff?
how the fuck would i know?
:'( -
decimal discount = line.Discount - (line.StandardPrice - line.CustomerPrice);
2 fucking hours working out what and why the fuck this line of code. Fml -
preparing a presentation for the team leader to explain how my code works... I know how to do my work but I don't know how to explain.
-
Anybody have advice about figuring out how you learn and how to have discipline doing things you don't like (everything related to being a codemonkey) so I can git gud?1
-
Either I am dumb or the usage of p5.js functions makes it either hard or impossible to test with jest. Constructor properties are thrown away (which I need) and all methods are mocked, if I automock, or I've got the pleasure to mock everything inside the class. Otherwise of course jest complains that p5's color() isn't defined. And mocking everything manually is not safe in case of class changes.
Of course p5's tdd tutorial isn't helping, as it seems to mock everything.
I need like a pro/mentor or smth for this... -
I need suggestions
I’m thinking about making a blog called but how do I, this will include tutorials that covers things not taught in school, but you wished you knew how to do.
So right now I have ideas like:
How to write zsh plugins
How to scrape the web(scrape html or sending request)
How to write chrome plugins
How to center a div in different ways
How to write backend codes in js
How to setup an interactive website on a server with domain
But I need more, I need suggestions.8 -
K, how to get started with HTML, CSS and JS basics? I want to get started right away and would like to have something like a reference tutorial, with short helpful code. Nothing like a course or something. Hope you can help me.3
-
Hi there Devs and ranters, I'm new to devrant (well I've have the app for about 20 days and just read about stuff)
So, I just recently discovered that I want to Develop web and mobile apps, before this I was studying to be a Project manager..
In the past I would usually come app with great app ideas and would just think "why hasn't anyone made this yet" then I'd let it go.
But then one day last year an amazing idea for an app hit me for a huge organisation in my country and I figured I could probably get paid for this, but yet again I was too fucking shallow to realise that I should've made it myself.
So I took my app idea and carelessly shared it with a developer who then decided to create the app and not include me at all, he just said "im gonna let you know when it's done", stupid me just agreed to that. Time went by and I never heard anything from the guy, tried to call but he wouldn't pick up, went to his place and he already moved out.
At this point I already gave up on looking for him.
A few weeks later I'm on the playstore browsing for apps and there it was, my fucking app. I decide to download it and inside every fucking thing was exactly as I told the developer, all the functions and options that would be for that app were all in there.
I was a little mad, but after staying with the app for a few days I noticed that it didn't work at all, there were no notifications, no interaction nothing, it's just like a static app, then I was really just disappointed,..
This was about 2 months ago,
Since then I have come up with a lot of other great app ideas and I decided to start learning to code so I can develop my own mobile and web apps..
And just last week I had an idea for an app for the Univ that I graduated at, spoke to the director about it and he wants a full presentation in a month.
So Devs, don't be the guy in the story that doesn't involve the person that gave you an awesome idea, also don't be me in the story because I was a stupid lil shit for not realising what I wanted to do sooner!1 -
While I was having a pre-lunch toke and just finished reading an article (about sharing screenshots) and this neat sign up form expanded from the footer.
Now this UX and marketing done right - I couldn't resist and don't even know what the newsletter is about 😂😂😂
2 -
Yo, i heard that it's easier to find jobs in web / software development in UK , is that true? 🤔 whos from uk?8
-
- Learned how to use Git properly;
- learning how to use SASS and building the stylesheet of this all by myself;
- Learned how to reuse my code all over the project;
- Made my first design pattern and ruleset to create and maintain a project. -
Does anybody know how to connect a browser to webstorm?
I wanna run my codes on vivaldi but don't know how!!!2 -
An accountant person is teaching me how to structure some info to import data to the database, I don't know how to tell him that I know how the process should be done, I'm new here I've to respect my partners tough2
-
Trying to figure out how others have profile pics on devRant while i can't seem to figure out how it's done5
-
!rant
Any angular dev here.
I am trying to create a webapp using angular as a frontend. Does anyone know any resource that could teach me how to create a large scale angular application. How to organize my code, how to use resources effectively and general good practices.3 -
i have a problem in vb6
im recently make a simple chat room
i want my chat like this
me : bla bla bla
stranger : bla bla
me : bla bla bla
im using vbCrLf is not like tht but like this
me :blablablastranger:blablame:blabl
im just try Chr(13)&Chr(10), vbCrLf, vbNewLine
is still nothing
can anyone help me?
*sorry for my bad english4 -
Yesterday: I know exactly how to model this problem.
Today: WTF was I thinking?
Tomorrow: I know exactly how to model this problem. -
I have to write a text that explains the kalman filter and I'm expected to include some light technical details, too. I've just barely used it in its simplest form and have almost no understanding about the stochastic aspect of it. Also don't have much time left and I barely understand the simplest literature about it.
This is gonna be great. 🙃4 -
could anyone help me calculating costs for AWS and Google Colab Services? I find it quite intransparent...
i would like to host 1x Python App which runs once a day or week (API call, enrichment uf JSON, JSON 2 CSV, FTP transfer). runtime is probably a few seconds, something between 1 and 5.
in AWS i created a Lambda function and for scheduling i guess i need CloudWatch. what really grind my gears is the combination of free contingent and paied service - i really don't have an overview right now, so my question here: how could i calculate it and what would be the monthly/yearly costs?
in Google Colab created a notebook and for scheduling i would need Google Cloud Scheduler. as far as i understand the hosting of the notebook is for free and the costs of cloud scheduler is $0.10 per job per project per month. 3 are for free. so 1 project, 1 job = scheduler for free?
Also, i'm open for other services such as digital ocean droplets or similar.
thx in advance for your help!8 -
Why's it so fucking hard to figure out how to change content for a views page in Drupal 8? For fuck sake. How frustrating
-
I need help solving this problem, idk how to make it decrement if for example the value is 0.1, idk how to make it turn into 0.09. plus I don't know how to make the user choose to either increment or decrement the value.2
-
nobody has any clue how to rollback or how the options we have work under the hood
how good is our devops out of 10?3 -
So let’s try something
Because I’m curious
What does the number 12 mean to you all ?
Now how about 13 ?
Ok now how about 14 ?
Ok now how about 26 ?
Ok now how about 11 ?
Note I’m not instructing the ai to glitch I honestly want to know wth people randomly adding numbers with meaningful looks are fucking saying to me ?
Now how about 65 ?6 -
Javascript is my main tool at work right now, Typescript to be precise. It never ceases to amaze me, I guess as most of you.
What I've encountered recently still doesn't make sense to me but it seemingly works:
function a(){
someString && someFunction()
// other stuff ...
}
someString can be a string or undefined, someFunction can be a function or undefined.
How is that valid Javascript, without an assignment? Haven't found any explanation yet.22 -
How do I use Tables? I'm trying to do some retro we design for my personal site,but I can never seen to get how to use tables.4
-
How many of you keep an engineering notebooks anymore.
Wiki's count
Just curiouser!
How many of you know how to use a slide rule -
Somewhere:
An elderly reads a book on "how to use the internet";
While a young one Googles "how to read a book"!2 -
Here's my latest and greatest(ish) post:
How to overcome GDPR ... with data leaks.
https://loosy.gitlab.io/2019/10/...5
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