Logic Gem found at work today.

if (value != null) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

😂 😂😂😂😂😂

This useful codes...

Not sure if DevRant material, but I am hecking bamboozled. What else have I calculated wrong.

The worst Code I saw was

if (value != null ) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

I was suppose to review this code.

if (null != value) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

public boolean even( int num ) {
if ( num < 0 )
num = -1 * num;
while ( num > 1 )
num = num - 2;
if ( num == 0 )
return true;
else
return false;
}

I wrote 2 dozens of if else statements
...
...

They called it AI.

My programming teacher wrote an "else if" like this... Should I quit???

if (num == 1) suffix = "st";
else if (num == 2) suffix = "nd";
else if (num == 3) suffix = "rd";
else suffix = "th";

AI = A lot of If-else

Me whenever I'm programming 😂

When you see a someone write this
if(condition){
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

A checkbox for GENDER.

(ONLY ONE CHECK BOX.)
If checked, then male, else female.

If (condition)
return true
else
return false
😂😂😂

AI based on if/else

So Python doesn't have switch-case statement... I feel so dirty having to use multiple if-elif-else

*sigh*

Well this is what I can make this Easter weekend

If else inserted of debugger..

So sick of my colleague who keeps writing:
if (something) {
doWork();
} else {
}

He insists that it is the best code style to include the empty else clause. WRONG YOU #!*&@!

Hired!!!

So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!

P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.

fuck.

Don't know if anyone else saw this on Twitter but this is actual text from Apple's updated app submission guidelines lol

Listen. Use invariants. If you can do

if(!x) {
return foo;
}
...rest of function logic...

Instead of

if(x) {
...some long branch with more tests...
} else {
return foo;
}

Please do. It's so much easier to read when all of your conditions are tested in a line at the top instead of nested 8 layers deep in if-else blocks.

Thanks

!rant
If repost === true
print ("sorry")
else
print ("😂")

Thanks: twitter@nixcraft

I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them

if (boolean){
function ();
}

Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.

When you're typing "make sure noone else is ..."
but your fingers automatically types
"else if"

Damaged beyond repair

When you apply breakpoint to the 'if' statement but 'else' part gets executed...

AI in a nutshell

if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

if (this.rant.getMemes()){
rantVote = 300;
} else {
rantVote = 0;
}

if(isStressedOut()) {
procrastinate();
}

meanwhile (somewhere else in the code)...

void procrastinate() {
procrastinate();
}

Classmate: "why doesn't it work?"
The code:

if (false) {
return even;
} else {
return odd;
}

if (condition == true && condition != false)

My team mate has just found the best conditional statement I've ever seen, in a source code he received from the client.
if (1 == 1)... and it has an else branch :D

You know shit gets serious when you start to comment your nested if/else blocks...

So my team lead told me in a code review that you shouldn't use 'else if' in code.
Instead you should best them like:
if
else
if
else
if
else

Apparently that would improve readability...
Am I crazy, or what?

if( ... ) {
... several hundreds LOC ...
} else {
... another several hundreds LOC ...
}

...

That just takes the damn fun out of it.

"In Python, we don't actually use commas unlike many languages. And as I mentioned last time, a tuple is a lot like a list, but it has it's differences. Oh yeeeah! Did I mention the logic behind if/else if/ and else statements?? They're sooo amazing."

What if I've been wrong all the time?

What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?

What if I'm annoying you everyone?

What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?

*social anxiety intensifies*

University tells me that I have to indent 4 spaces... If I use anything else I get disqualified...

"I pronounce GIF like 'if'"
"LISTEN HERE, YOU BETTER START PRONOUNCING IT 'JIF' OR ELSE!!!"
"What gif I don't want to?"

My (unhealthy) obsession with the (if?then:else) shorthand syntax.

Me in a test:

if(boolean)
return value;
return something_else;

I then lost 2 marks for not having an else statement -.-

"If you don't value your time, neither will anyone else."

Me, when read old code:
if z == true
return true
else
return false
Yeah, why not stupid fucker.

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

Actual code

if (dict.ContainsKey(key))
{
//do nothing
}
else
{
dict.Add(key, value);
}

I'm speechless

Developers dilemma

If I make something and someone else uses it and it breaks, its my fault.
If someone else makes something and I use it and it breaks, its my fault.

No one can use If Else like him..

#SaluteTheDeveloper

Developers who writes something similar

if (count >= 0) { return true; }

else { return false; }

deserves a special room in hell.

Anyone else just not care if you use GitHub or GitLab? Competition is a good thing.

YOU: if(exp){ statement 1;} else { statement 2;}

v/s

THE GUY: exp ? Statement1 : statement 2;

She says not to worry about!!

no matter how big shot programmer you are, you 90% time you will only code
if(condition)
{
// do something
}
else
{
// do something else
}

Your mind is programmable - if you're not programming your mind, someone else will program it for you.

// Just in case
if ($scope.currentPlatform === 'android') {
$scope.enableDatePicker = true;
} else {
$scope.enableDatePicker = true;
}

I have previously seen this in a production code base. The same code base included nested if statements (20+ conditions)...

If (condition == false) {
return false;
} else if (condition == true) {
return true;
}

If (index == 3) {
return true;
}
else {
return true;
}

Apparently the number 3 is magical or aomething.

/* MacOS source code
Copyright Snapple, Inc
Private and confidential */

void resumeFromSleep() {
if (rand() > RAND_MAX / 2) {
freezeSystem();
} else {
reallyResumeFromSleep();
}
}

Good news everyone!

unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();

And so I thought

if (MONTH === 1 & DAY === 18) {
alert("Bro, it's your birthday");
} else {
alert("Bro, just go away, you're nothing special 😅);
}

Finding a bunch of "else if" instead of "switch"

found this in our codebase today

try {
//do something
} catch () {
try {
//do something else
} catch () {
try {
//do something else else... this goes on 4-5 levels deep
} catch () {
//log... couldn't do
}
}
}

Them:
Its an Algorithm!!

*checks code*
Five lines of if else

Ok I'm finally learning Ruby and...

why the hell is an else-if 'elsif'

that's just disgusting

OMFG if I see one more single-lined if-else/for statements without proper closure brackets I'm gonna kill some people!!!

Company : we added AI to our product!!

What i hear : we added a sequence of if and if else to our product 😂😂

If (bugs === true) {
make more bugs;
} else {
make bugs;
}

public void listenUp(){
If (goodMood){
approachSayHi;
}
else{
backTheFuckUp;
}
}

if (time >= 10)
{
SleepyTime();
}
else
{
WriteCode();
}

Is this just me?

if(..... expression.....){
System.out.println("it works, calm down");
} else{
System.out.println("it's not fucking working, holy fucckk, fucking WORK");
}

Tell me if you do something similar.

bool True = false;
bool False = true;
if (True == true)
{
False = True;
}
else
{
True = true;
False = !true;
}

if (!False == !!true && True == !false)
{
False = True;
True = (!!False)true;
}
Console.WriteLine("Banana");

I looked up an error on google. Didnt find anything but devRant. Problem solved. Didnt work anymore

Started a new job this week.

Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.

public function recruiters($salary)
{
if($salary == "competitive")
{
return NaN;
} else
{
return "What is the real salary?";
}
}

Close all IDEs.

Then...

if (needs_music) {
open.production("fl_studio");
} else if (needs_engine_roar) {
open.game("fsx");
} else {
open.systemapp("Task Manager");
kill.all("processes");
computer.shutdown(5000);
}

What's the point of abstraction layers if you're riddling all the code with

if (AbstractionLayer.SomeType instanceof ImplemantationLayer.SomeTypeIml1) {
// do stuff
} else if (AbstractionLayer.SomeType instanceof ImplemantationLayer.SomeTypeIml2) {
// do stuff
} else if (AbstractionLayer.SomeType instanceof ImplemantationLayer.SomeTypeIml3) {
// do stuff
} else if (AbstractionLayer.SomeType instanceof ImplemantationLayer.SomeTypeIml4) {
// do stuff
}

???

Seriously.. Guys. Am I missing some point here?

Checking out new editors:

if (editorHasTheme('SpaceGray')) {
installEditor();
} else {
checkNextEditor();
}

Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.

Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.

I'm standing with a WTF face.

😐

If-else conditions is like:

Even when am speaking
I can't say if without else

Else if, elif, elseif, if else garrgghj. I can never remember what it is in whatever language I happen to use...

That moment you need to teach a developer you work with how to write if & else statements.

if (variable == true)
return true;
else return false;

But they had eggs!!

IDEs aside, if I ever have to debug your code, you better have windows in dark theme or else

the first code on every samsung app
if(enoughSpace())
run()
else
annoyUserWith(new Popup())
closeApp()

If god was a programmer, do you think he made us like

int sex = rand()% 2+1;

if (sex == 1){
std::cout << “it’s a girl!”;
}

else if (sex == 2){
std::cout << “its a boy!”;
}

Time for some clear readable code.

int a = l;
   if ( O == l )
     a = O1;
   else
     l = 01;

Nailed it.

public void 2016(){
if (badLuck = NOT_ENOUGH)
badLuck++;
else
badLuck++;
}

public String 2017(){
return HOPE_FOR_THE_BEST;
}

Happy new year fellow programmers!

Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?

That time you waste hours searching through a perfectly good method. Turns out the outcome is overridden because you forgot an else in an if-else statement....

if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
}
callback(error)

--is a lot different than--

if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
} else {
callback(error)
}

callbacks are not return statements 🤦‍♂️

If not anywhere else, at least it happens in India.

My first login function

const login = (email, password) => {
If (email && password) {
return true
} else {
return false
}
}

int counter=0;

void loop()
{
if (counter>=10)
{
// nothing
}
else
{
Serial.println(counter);
counter++;
}
}

This is what I call bureaucracy

I have one confession.
I have never ever in 15 years of coding used switch case...
Never liked the syntax.
Am i the onlyone ?

I can't take this anymore. How can you teach someone else if you don't know how to code js?!😫

RIP IF - ELSE

Today I found this jewel in a PR of a respected dev of my workplace:
if(conditions)
{
return true;
}
else
{
return false;
}

Yet again

If foo():
return True
else:
return False

Agrrr!!11

Ask yourself as you plan the meeting:

1. Is an email a better solution to this?

If the answer is yes, plz just send the fucking email. Else, try and find a way to make it an email instead. If all else fails then yeah go ahead and have your stupid meeting.

Why won't AI use switch instead of if else?

if (condition){
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

At the University, Algorithms class, exercises lesson..the assistant explaining the results of an assignment:

"Because here..if we use a classic 'if-else' loop..."

😳

if(night){
sleep(12*60*1000);
}else{
//TODO update when you get a job
sleep(12*60*1000);
}

I really dislike when people don't use braces { } on if/else statements.

If(almond.harvestStatus == undefined) almond.harvestMode=false
almond.dropdown = false.

If (currentTime != night){
doNothing();
} else{
getShitDone();
}

Being the dumbest smart person is way better than being the smartest dumb person. Here is looking at anyone ever trying to tell me how to do my job yet you cannot read a fucking error messag. Yes incorrect password means you got it wrong, dim witted cunt

When you find out you didn't need that if-else statement in your code if you simply made an additional variable with an expression that works for all cases of that if-else statement

When you find this in the PHP code:

if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}

Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D

If ($shit_hits_fan='true') {
$_GET['vacation'];
} else {
echo 'it was like that when I got here';
}

include <studio.h>
int year;
int main(){
if (year==2016){}
else{
printf("Happy %d!!",year);
be happy;
}
return 0;
}

Coffee coffee = new Coffee { };
if ( coffee.Empty )
{
coffee.Refill ( );
}
else
{
coffee.Drink ( );
}
// I'm a software developer \\

hard life for dev

If(devRant.Open() == true)
{
viewDankMemes.Start();
}
Else
{
doWork();
}

So I wrote a python code and was waiting for +1 on code review and I needed to merge it fast. That shit of a reviewer took his time to finally NOT give a +1 with comment, "if statement has no else part". OF COURSE IT DOESN'T HAVE ELSE PART. I DON'T NEED A ELSE PART. But to give him the benefit of doubt, I'd like to ask devRant community if they believe all ifs should have elses.

I help first year Computer Science students at my uni. In the first few weeks I reviewed someone's code to find he had 253 variables called var1, var2, var3 and so forth. The even worse part: he made the same if-else structures for every variable without using a loop.

if (var1 == something) {
//huge chunk of code here
}
else if (var1 == something) {
}
else {
}

... var2... var3

The funniest thing about this is that we had a discussion about this, because he claimed this was the right way to solve his problem.

Trying to figure out the average age of devRant users.. So..

if(user['age']<6){
$score--;
else $score++;

what is the else there for, it reminds me of all the times I saw shit like

if(variable == true){
}else{
doSomething();
}

When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.

Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.

I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.

I hate me.

Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.

Have good day.

while(self.isWorking)
{
If(self.bored || !tasks.Length)
exit;
else
devRant();
}

At first it seemed harsh, but then I learned that he committed code like

if (a == b)
return true;
else
return false;

Owning BTC be like:

while(alive){

if(stockValueDrops)
cripplingDepression(me);

else
continue;
}

X is typeof(bool)
Then my coworker made this condition
If(x==true)
else if(x!=true)

Code of developer's life

int f = 1;
If( life == "smooth")
problems();
else if( life =="hard")
{
problems();
breakup();
}
else
{
while (f = 1)
{
bugs();😣
}
}

Use different indentations in same program.
for(.....) {

}

if
{
}
else
{
}

void doSomething
{
}

static{

}

I have to stick to one convention anyhow soon.. :/

bool isTrue(bool val){
If(val == true){
return true;
}
else if(val == false){
return false;
}
else{
cout<<"Wrong value";
}
Function isTrue is the future ! 😂😂😂

10 INPUT "Do you like spaghetti? var1
20 IF var1=="no" THEN GOTO 30 ELSE GOTO 10
30 END

Found this in production code.

For those who doesn’t understand Delphi:
switch (some boolean) {
case false:
// some code
default:
// some code
}

The over-use of } else {

function myLife(time){
if(time.current() < time.alarm1)
sleep();
if(time.current() = time.alarm1){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Normal);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() = time.alarm2){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Fast);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() >= time.alarm3){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
workFromHome();
} else{
goTo(work, speed.Fast);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
}

Anyone else hates this kind of statements:

if ( doSomething() != SUCCESS ) {
//log error
}else {
//continue doing other stuff
}

I simply find that confusing. This is much better:

If ( doSomething == SUCCESS ){
//continue doing other stuff
}else {
//log error
}

Maybe just my opinion.

var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';

if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}

no one should have given me the knowledge of if/else statements
I feel so powerful

Mind blow of the week: JavaScript has no "else if".

It's always two tokens. Not one. It's NOT like python's "elif".

It's ALWAYS chaining an additional and DISTINCT if statement in the else clause of the first. It is NOT creating multiple comparison paths in the same if statement as it would seem.

For example:

if(a) console.log(a);
else if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log(c);

Simply needs more proper indentation to show which "if" the "else" actually belongs to:

if(a) console.log(a);
else
if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log (c);

allUpperCase = true
for char in rant.message:
if !isUpperCase(char):
allUpperCase = false

if allUpperCase:
rant.category = "rant"
else:
rant.category = "!rant"

if (time () < 5pm)
drinkCoffee ();
else
drinkBeer ();

What I saw in code today,
If(somthing){}else{doWork()}

And the whole code is like this. WTF

//Doing $hit to get stickers
Rant r = new Rant();
if(r.isSeen()){
if(r.PLUS < 30){
r.plus();
} else{
r.ignore();
}
}

Do
{
// TODO: Do some proper naming
var myEgg = new Egg();
if(firstRun)
{
Paint(myEgg, red);
}
else
{
Paint(myEgg, randomPaint());
}
}While(isEaster())

If(DateRightNow == 16/07/2018)
{
Age++;
LifeTime--;
}
Else
{
NoRealizationThatEverydayLifeTimeDecreses;
}

I hate complicated and out of date documentation!!!

if (me == angryClickityClackity) {
headButtKeyboard = True;
}else{
headButtKeyboard = false;
}

if (smart === false) {
system32.delete();
} else if (smart === true) {
system32.DEMOLISH();
}

MUAHAHAH

Was reading about FizzBuzz/Algo again and I guess the modulo run-time.

The most optimal solution I came across is like:

if (x % 15) FizzBuzz
else if (x % 3) Buzz
else if (x % 5) Fizz
else x

But then how long does % take? Should you care?

I was thinking it should use variables:

var f = x % 3 == 0
var b = x % 5 == 0

if (f && b) FizzBuzz
else if (f) Fizz
else if (b) Buzz
else x

P=NP if someone else is paying for the AWS computing time...

programmers agreement
if(employee[work] == satisfied)
return salary++;
else
return fired;

class Bug():

def __init__():
self._fix = random.randint(1, 6)

def fix():
if self.is_feature :
return Feature(self)
else:
if random.randint(1, 6) == self._fix:
Bug()
del self
else:
return Bug()

What if everything is a complicated if else statement 🤔

While speaking i cant say if without an else.
I guess it's programming syndrome

If all else fails, perform percussive maintenance on OSI layer 8.

const silicon_valley = true;
if(silicon_valley == true) {
watchSiliconValley();
} else {
work();
}

// yeah I know it's crappy

So, AI is made using HTML. ha?
It makes sense, because it has many if, else statements

while project != Finish :
if stomach == full :
keepCoding()
else :
orderPizza()
if project == Finish
goOut()

(Fyi, can't indent here. LoL. I am glad there isn't python around to blurt errors on my face 😂)

!rant
if(dev.isTired){
dev.drinkCoffee();
dev.backToCoding();
} else {
dev.continueToCode();
}

Benefits of using Strings for Boolean intended logic?

I'll go first

easily implement cases before finally checking if true

generateUsername: { type: String }

if(generateUsername == 'humanReadable'){
// generate a username in a human readable format AKA yoDudeImRainbow
} else if(generateUsername == 'hash'){
// generate a username by using a random hash
} else if(generateUsername){
// generate a username by using a random hash
}

Just in from an interview and she asked me if I know programming, WHY ELSE WOULD I'll BE HERE?

That moment where you see code of someone who riddles their code with nested if-else and if-elseif statements.

I don't remember writing an else statement for years. It almost always can be avoided (and the rare cases where it makes sense I prefer the switch statement).

Yet I never grasp why people do:

```
if(someCondition) {
// huge nested code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Instead of

```
if (!someCondition) {
throw new Error();
}
// continue in the normal scope
```

And then we have experts that like doing:

```
if(someCondition) {
if (bar) {
$foo = 'narf';
} else {
$foo = 'poit';
}

// huge code block
if($foo == 'narf') {
if(yetAntherCondition) {
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Help!

If ever was to design a programming language, I'd forbid the `else` and `elseif` keywords. I have yet to find an instance where I could not replace some `else` by either a guard or an early return or introducing some polymorphism.

If anyone else is into home automation, SmartThings has a pretty awesome API

function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}

// I don't drink Redbull daily

It's my birthday and....

if(Birthdate.Date == DateTime.Now.Date)
Console.Writeline("HPD - Muli");
else
Console.Writeline("Try again Tommorow");

A programmer's wife sends him in a grocery store with instructions "Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen". He comes back with a dozen loaf of Bread and Tells her "They had eggs"

"If all else fails, [working harder than anyone else] is the greatest competitive advantage of any career." - John C Jay

"Never stand still. If you stand still, you get lost, because someone else is always moving. " - Armin Vit

if (stuck)
{
get_unstuck ();
}
else
{
continue;
}

while(life):
if(YouTube):
watch()
else:
getBored()

<% if user.getsrich? %>
<h1>Done.</h1>
<% else %>
<h6>Die Trying.</h6>
<℅ end %>

It's time for weekend when you write push(shit); instead of push(sheet);

If ($youReadThis) {
$upvote++;
} else {
exit;
}

Hello! And happy Monday coders!

//I find a couple beers after hours relaxes the mind enough to work through the problem. aka The Ballmer Peak.

while(stuck == true) {
if(time < endDay) {
console.log("Keep working");
} else if(time > endDay && beers < 2) {
beers ++;
} else if(time > endDay && beers >= 2) {
stuck = false;
}
}

It's so annoying to optimise and fix someone else's code..esp if the someone else is a newbie!!!

$a = -1;
if ($a) {
return true;
}
else {
return false;
}

true or false?

The second you write `else { return false; }` you should lose the privilege of calling yourselves a dev, from then on. Period.

Example,
if(condition) {
// ...some code
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

Do you prefer?

var foo = true;
if (some condition){
var foo = false;
}

Or

if (some condition){
var foo = false;
}
else{
var foo = true;
}

Else Heart.Break() has anyone else played this if not. Strap on your modifiers and pick you up a copy because this game is full of spark.

My Coding Loop :

while (working) {
coding();
createNewBug();
if (bugs != 0) {
fixTheFuckingBugs();
if (bugs != 0) {
fuckMySelf();
} else {
continueWorking();
}
}
}

class smoking{

public static void main ( String []args){
int a = 2;
String c = "cigarettes";
if (a==2)
System.out.print ("go smoke "+ c);
else if (a <2)
System.out.println ("go buy some");
else
System.out.println ("error");

}
}

1. Commented code instead of actually cleaning it up.
2. Returning default return variables instead of rewriting obsolete code. (Generally if/else conditions with return). So instead of removing the if/else statements i return default value(null or empty objects). This is when the case of if/else will never arise.

What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}

Or just

if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;

Changed all else to else if 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😎😎😎 else never gets called 😎

No bug:

while (work.isAt()) { if (work.isDone()) break; else continue; work.doMore(); }

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