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I was told that my comment on another rant needed to be its own rant. So here it is:
I had a client that runs a tattoo shops website to be updated and more modern. He wanted nothing to do with looking at or approve mock ups or designs so I just did my thing and took care of it. Once I was finished I showed him what I had and said “now I just need some content from you all so I can replace all the placeholder text and images”.
He seemed completely onboard. Took down notes of all the content needed, assigned all of it out to his artists to gather what I needed and provide it to me.
After 6 months, and several emails asking if they ever got that content together I finally get a response:
“LOOK MAN, if you didn’t want to do the site then you shouldn’t have accepted the money. I know you don’t need all these from us to finish up, you’re just stalling! I need the site up now!”
So I’m like “Sure man, I’ll publish it exactly as it stands now.”
An hour later I get a call “who are these people in these pictures? Why do you have our pricing all wrong? Why is everything in French or something (Lorem ipsum)? I just need my money back at this point.”
I explained that he’s not getting his money back because I already did my part, but just because it’s important to me that a client is satisfied (and seemingly what he wants is money) I can waive his hosting fee for the next 3 years.
It’s been a year now. Sites still up in all “French”, wrong pricing, random stock photos. Couple weeks ago he called to apologize for being a dick before.
Still haven’t gotten any content to finish up.
I don’t understand. It’s like these people think if you want to publish a book for instance that you just give the publisher the title you came up with and they’ll fill in the pages with story/info for you.
I’m a web developer, not a content manager.39 -
>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O16 -
For this episode of practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker were going to move past developers and go straight to a CEO.
*sitcom audience oooooohhhhhhh*
I know! , always risky, everyone has a bad story, but lets try bring it home. Here we go, Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 2, "R".
R was ... now how do I say this ... R was a special kind of Bastard. A perfect blend of impatient, arrogant, a dickhead and to borrow a phrase from family guy "below the line of mental retardation".
I've actually spoken about him recently here: https://devrant.com/rants/1141873/...
I won't bother duplicating the content here, but its worth a read.
Some of the other highlights of R include:
- Not understanding that my first demo was UI / Frontend only (despite frequent explanations). I didn't slack off for the next 2 weeks, I was busy making all those buttons actually do stuff and connect to the server. Shockingly "Test 1", "Test 2" and "Lorem ipsum" wasn't our content.
- He once asked how long a bunch of tasks was going to take, I told him 2 weeks and he gave me 2 and a half days. He pulled me into a meeting the next week to see where it all was, and I literally sat there saying "I asked for 2 weeks" over and over until he shut up.
- R's favourite phrase was "when I was a developer", typically followed by some sort of insult, forever labelling him "asshole" by everyone who has ever worked for him.
- When apple launched iOS 7 and changed the UI and the methods you could use, he refused to invest the time in upgrading to iOS 7, but demanded the app look like an iOS 7 app. No amount of "There is no method to access the status bar in iOS 6" could make him comprehend the issue at hand.
- The worst was when I was dealing with an issue to do with 64bit being introduced (which I tried to explain ... christ give me strength). When another dev fixed a similar but unrelated issue he stood up in front of the office and said loudly "pfft practiseSafeHex tried to tell me this was something to do with 64bit, which made absolutely no sense, guess he doesn't know what he's talking about"
Thankfully I handed in my notice ... after less than 2 months, making in abundantly clear why. Will R make it to the top of the list of most incompetent?
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!12 -
When you're creating new website and Chrome asks you if you want to translate the page from Latin.4
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I actually clicked past this, as per habit, before I reacted. Best EULA I've ever seen!
(In case anyone doesn't know: "Lorem ipsum" is a nonsense place holder text mostly used to try out layouts.)
10 -
!rant: A friend posted the frontpage of a local newspaper in the Philippines. The summary is in 'lorem ipsum'! I checked it online(epaper) and it is still there! Someone's gonna be in big trouble...
39 -
A client complained about the visual designs containing 'lorem ipsum' text because they 'didn't understand spanish'. And that they wanted their site in english...9
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She: I want to hear those three magical words.
Me: Um....Lorem Ipsum Dolor...?
We never met after that.8 -
No Google translate, I don't want you to translate my Lorem Ipsum. You are misunderstanding what I'm trying to do here. Thanks anyway.2
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.
I studied Latin for 6 years in high school.
A dummy text is the link between my education and my job
°_°11 -
Designer sends me mock up. I send out to client to review before we start to develop. (Mock up has lorem ipsum for paragraph text in one spot) A few minutes later client calls freaking out "Why is my whole site in Spanish, I don't speak Spanish!"7
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I am seriously getting pissed off at these so called web developers on Instagram... More often than not I stumble upon an image of vs code with some Lorem ipsum code on the screen.
Just now I saw a picture that drew my attention, so I clicked on to the profile and fuck me in the rectum from a 90 degree angle this is what I see. Visual communication does not FUCKING EQUAL WEB DEVELOPMENT.
DAMN IT, JUST FUCK OFF.
15 -
Discussion between a new hire (NH) and a designer (D) in our project :
D : "I need the final designs"
NH : "You haven't given me any content"
D : "I'm sending you a layout with dummy text"
*2 days later*
NH : "WHATS LOREM IPSUM?!"2 -
I've been so pissed off so many times, I thought I should divide them into categories.
- Pissed off at a fellow dev: I told him to use a constant instead of a hardcoded number.
He changed this: obj.method(3);
to this:
public static final int three = 3;
obj.method(three);
- Pissed off at management: I once got a $10 yearly raise.
- Pissed off at a client: They rejected our design proposal because the text was in spanish and they didn't speak spanish. It was lorem ipsum text.
- Pissed off at code: I once had to refactor a 500 line legacy jsp script with HTML, CSS, JS and Java completely intertwined.
- Pissed off at Twitter: They changed their API the day of our go-live, breaking all of their widgets, forcing us to move the go-live date and making me work an additional 8 hours after a week with almost no breaks.
- Pissed off at travel and logistics: They sent me to a hotel in Mexico City 2.5 hours away from the client's office.
Fun times...1 -
Today I am gonna start writing code in react to replace/improve an old silverlight project.
I need to show react is faster, easier and more efficient than angular.
Thumbs up if you like react and comment if you think I'm wrong 🙂
9 -
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent sed velit a lorem vehicula ultricies. Phasellus in dui fringilla, mattis felis quis, bibendum nulla. Nunc egestas elementum risus, eu vulputate nibh posuere ut. In eget fermentum metus. Aliquam in ex et purus posuere laoreet nec at urna. Vivamus neque augue, porta id risus id, maximus dictum ligula. Morbi semper tellus est, ut congue turpis fermentum eu. Etiam ornare nec tellus nec ornare. Quisque vestibulum, sem nec luctus imperdiet, nunc ex consectetur elit, in dapibus nisi quam eget ipsum. Curabitur enim tortor, blandit non nulla sit amet, suscipit maximus lorem. Aliquam erat volutpat. Vivamus bibendum sodales ornare.15
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Do not change username in win10.
Messes up ownership.
Ex) You have set your username as Loren. Used computer for a while. Installed bunch of programs.
Then you change your u.c to Ipsum. Some installed programs adapt to new u.c. others dont. New programs set the installation folder to either c://Loren or c://Ipsum making chaos.
Then the computer gets messed up.
...........
Opens Git Bash.
Ipsum-blahblah ~ git blahblah
Close it.
Open again
Loren-blahblah (uhh!)3 -
i'm supposed to use some lorem ipsum when making flutter work to explore most of it's features but of course my meme brain turns on and makes this monstrosity instead
4 -
Have you ever drifted so much that, while examining your code, you catch yourself reading the Loren ipsum text?
#lorem_ipsum #firstworldproblems3 -
HOLY SHIT. short story, just dodged a bullet. Using the Samuel L Ipsum generator and not thinking. I then use this copy to test the notification system with the following text. luckily the system email only went to me!
"Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'?
Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing."1 -
Designing with "real" data
In Interaction Design Uni i've got this assignment to design a prototype for an "Ebay for used books". A requirement is that we have use "real" Data and not lorem ipsum for our design prototype tools. Which is a fair point but....
It's about 50 book categories (crime, history, romance) we have to cover, and for every category the prof wants at least 2 Books.
I've don't have the time to type in the (meta)data for 100 books at 30 JSON properties by hand. What would be your advice?
Do you maybe know a easy to use online bookshop API? (remember I'm a tech savy designer not a dev)
Or do you know someone in a low income country who does data entry? Or any experience with hiring someone on fiverr?
Thank you for your help. :)
9 -
So a front-end that:
- Contains duplicate data in the same page
- Does not adjust itself well with content that's not lorem ipsum
- Only looks aligned properly on one screen size
- Contains sections that I have no idea what to feed from my backend
k I can be a full-stack dev too. ty front-end guy. -
There should be a catch for lorem ipsum on google translate. I tried to translate a text and it took me a while to understand that not me but the web designers fucked up.3
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Fuck it, i just gonna learn apache tika datacrawler.
I can't code and i'm a designer. But where's will there is a way. Doing designs with real data is much more fun than with lorem ipsum, even more if its self parsed.
Is anybody familiar with apache tika / nutch? -
Jesus I can view 10000 lines of lorem ipsum without a problem but I cannot run 3 longer lines without getting 7fps ?!?!
6 -
For the most part I try to keep my test or filler content somewhat professional in the event I forget to clean it before the client sees it. However, sometimes you just need some lorem fucking ipsum.
http://loremfuckingipsum.com/2 -
Life-hacks for school
-----------------------------------------------------------
Extending a deadline for a paper:
Create a word file, fill it with Lorem ipsum.
Save.
Open the word document with notepad.
Delete soms gibberish code.
Save
Word will throw an error saying the file is corrupt.
Teacher will ask for the file again after the deadline.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Deceiving a plagiarism detector.
only works if you can submit multiple times and no resource is mentioned or checked by teachers
Plagiarize something but not to much, submit it. Change a few words. Submit again.
The system will check the first submission against the second one and determine its 99% plagiarism of your own paper. -
Interlnal lib documentation:
'This is a short description: Lorem ipsum...'
Don't know why I expected more...1 -
sitting alone on my desk for 5 fu****g days making my agency's landing page. Replaced all lorem shit ipsum with my feelings. Pray for my lazy co-workers
3 -
Why doesn't the lorem ipsum site have the lorem ipsum text on the front page!!!
Why do I always have to find and press that "Generate" button? Life is not fair3 -
In every single group project at my university, there is always that one guy that doesn't do shit:
Last year, we were a group of four students developing a website. One guy had never seen HTML before and was just filling the website with lorem ipsum and break-tags. One student didn't work a lot on the project, but developed a few bugs. The last guy, did not even spend 1 second working on the project.
A few days remaining before the projects deadline, and all we had left was to write a report on how we did acceptance testing. I was sure he would not get the same grade as the rest of us since I emailed the course coordinator, saying that this guy hadn't been contributing with shit.
However, just before the deadline, this guy starts making massive amounts of commits to the repo were he changed like one single character in our report, or just edited single words. The course coordinator probably just checked to see that everyone had committed to the repo, because everyone got the same grades!1 -
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Phasellus eu dolor vel risus euismod vestibulum ut in massa. Donec scelerisque magna vitae laoreet facilisis. Suspendisse volutpat tortor turpis, ut efficitur nisl gravida non. Donec ac volutpat tellus. Vestibulum ac lacinia neque, sed imperdiet lectus. Aenean aliquam tempor molestie. Vestibulum vel sem augue. Duis non eleifend augue. Aenean eget libero eros. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Praesent sit amet dictum eros. Quisque eleifend faucibus hendrerit.
Fusce accumsan interdum risus et iaculis. Mauris ex velit, pellentesque a tortor et, placerat ullamcorper orci. Donec imperdiet, orci nec placerat ultricies, sapien felis ultrices velit, at vehicula sem lectus eu nunc. Nulla nec orci congue, consectetur leo imperdiet, lobortis metus. Praesent dapibus est pharetra massa suscipit commodo. Trying to find out whether devrant feed is rigget or !. Pellentesque malesuada mauris at tellus porta molestie at ac urna. Quisque pretium placerat tellus vel porta. Etiam ante sapien, suscipit eu auctor ac, venenatis eu libero. Ut luctus consequat lectus quis molestie. Fusce a bibendum risus. Fusce eu odio ac felis tempus posuere nec nec lectus. Vestibulum ultrices ac felis venenatis blandit.10 -
I guess I should notify them that there is still some work to do on that website....
(other parts are in hungarian sorry for that :D)
3 -
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipisicing elit. Illo aspernatur laborum rem sed laudantium excepturi veritatis voluptatum architecto, dolore quaerat totam officiis nisi animi accusantium alias inventore nulla atque debitis5
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Couldn't think of anything to say so what the hell!
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry.1 -
Just to use de 5000 characters :v.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut non velit vel odio sodales hendrerit non a urna. Nunc tortor orci, fermentum quis blandit eu, auctor in arcu. Vivamus mollis auctor sem sit amet egestas. Etiam fermentum purus sed est venenatis fringilla. Maecenas imperdiet pharetra volutpat. Suspendisse vitae maximus purus, id scelerisque magna. Nulla maximus, nisl nec pharetra consectetur, dui nunc tempor dui, quis porta magna arcu at justo. Integer maximus euismod magna, a sodales leo interdum vel. Phasellus malesuada eros volutpat eros blandit dictum. Maecenas velit tortor, rhoncus id orci vitae, venenatis condimentum elit. Nulla ante mi, viverra sit amet tempus vel, pharetra eu ex. Maecenas blandit, lorem non tincidunt facilisis, ligula lectus scelerisque tellus, ac facilisis est diam nec turpis. Vivamus nec ante ut justo dignissim rutrum. Curabitur ut odio et nisl convallis pellentesque eu ut lorem.
Pellentesque imperdiet egestas cursus. Mauris at dui facilisis, feugiat elit in, bibendum odio. Vestibulum magna purus, aliquam quis tincidunt et, accumsan vel est. Morbi commodo viverra aliquet. Sed dignissim vehicula nulla id sodales. Curabitur lobortis cursus nisl at congue. Ut bibendum leo nisi, quis consequat velit pharetra vitae. Nam laoreet, odio ut tincidunt pulvinar, sapien ex consequat metus, id venenatis massa lorem ultrices orci. Mauris ac metus mauris.
In ac feugiat leo, ac blandit arcu. Donec sit amet dolor non nunc pharetra vulputate. Curabitur in velit ac odio egestas semper. Ut mattis ex sodales scelerisque venenatis. Pellentesque dolor lorem, eleifend vitae nisl eu, ultrices pellentesque justo. In vel vulputate lectus. Sed hendrerit sem vel blandit dapibus. Suspendisse ut eleifend lacus, a laoreet turpis. Vivamus eu ultricies lectus. Vestibulum imperdiet magna semper mi cursus facilisis. Fusce et interdum mauris, vitae tincidunt sapien. Curabitur non congue dolor, a varius dui. Maecenas nisl diam, lobortis et odio sit amet, ullamcorper euismod turpis.
Nullam vitae tempus eros. Sed varius sit amet sem faucibus euismod. Curabitur congue nulla lectus, sed aliquam mauris ultricies sed. Maecenas non felis ut orci commodo commodo. Mauris pharetra, tellus nec fringilla molestie, erat ligula tempus urna, ut faucibus elit ante in dolor. Nullam eu est fermentum, malesuada eros sed, rhoncus libero. Donec dignissim sapien quis aliquet auctor. Pellentesque a laoreet lorem. Suspendisse in feugiat odio. Maecenas venenatis auctor pretium. Maecenas et dolor eu leo faucibus auctor vel sed ligula. Curabitur lacinia ac leo eget posuere. Aliquam erat volutpat. Ut ultricies justo id tellus vulputate euismod. Phasellus sagittis ipsum ac odio rhoncus lobortis. Nullam vestibulum mauris sit amet augue euismod, viverra hendrerit sem convallis.
Integer tellus orci, rhoncus vel dignissim non, convallis at urna. Nam eu neque vel leo luctus varius eu in augue. Nunc consectetur cursus est nec bibendum. Integer erat tellus, feugiat ac aliquam in, volutpat semper tellus. Pellentesque in auctor magna. Donec feugiat magna in lacus ultricies fermentum. Phasellus bibendum, dolor ut aliquam feugiat, elit augue tincidunt justo, nec consequat tellus diam vitae risus.
Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Nulla convallis et enim vel congue. Suspendisse luctus sapien ac maximus dapibus.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut non velit vel odio sodales hendrerit non a urna. Nunc tortor orci, fermentum quis blandit eu, auctor in arcu. Vivamus mollis auctor sem sit amet egestas. Etiam fermentum purus sed est venenatis fringilla. Maecenas imperdiet pharetra volutpat. Suspendisse vitae maximus purus, id scelerisque magna. Nulla maximus, nisl nec pharetra consectetur, dui nunc tempor dui, quis porta magna arcu at justo. Integer maximus euismod magna, a sodales leo interdum vel. Phasellus malesuada eros volutpat eros blandit dictum. Maecenas velit tortor, rhoncus id orci vitae, venenatis condimentum elit. Nulla ante mi, viverra sit amet tempus vel, pharetra eu ex. Maecenas blandit, lorem non tincidunt facilisis, ligula lectus scelerisque tellus, ac facilisis est diam nec turpis. Vivamus nec ante ut justo dignissim rutrum. Curabitur ut odio et nisl convallis pellentesque eu ut lorem.
Pellentesque imperdiet egestas cursus. Mauris at dui facilisis, feugiat elit in, bibendum odio. Vestibulum magna purus, aliquam quis tincidunt et, accumsan vel est. Morbi commodo viverra aliquet. Sed dignissim vehicula nulla id sodales. Curabitur lobortis cursus nisl at congue. Ut bibendum leo nisi, quis consequat velit pharetra vitae. Nam laoreet, odio ut tincidunt pulvinar, sapien ex consequat metus, id venenatis massa lorem ultrices orci. Mauris ac metus mauris.
In ac feugiat leo, ac blandit arcu. Donec sit amet dolor non nunc pharetra vulputate. Curabitur in velit ac odio egestas semper. Ut mattis ex sodales scelerisque venenatis.
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