My code *may* have anger management issues.

Received "emergency update" code from internal enterprise security team. Wasn't given time to do code review; was assured code was reviewed and solid.

Pushed code to over 6k lower-level servers before finding this gem buried deep within:
...
cd /foo; rm -rf *; cd /
...

(This ran as root, and yes, the cwd was / from earlier in the code).

/foo, of course, did not exist on some servers.

Now, it is those servers which do not exist.

FML

Change the code and see what broke. This is the only way to understand your code

In case you ever want to hack into a computer with 14 lines of code only. This algorithm is just genius.

Said my code is self explanatory and doesn't need comments.

After few minutes "wtf is this shit?".

This is a picture of my code when my computer is turned off.

This dude is definitely going places. The entire code is documented like that. 👌🏻

Found this in our production code which is probably in running in thousands of machine :D

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

This is one of my favorite commit strip. Why? For the glory of code of course!

In my freelancing job, I got this as a source code ? Really? Are you guys serious? Is this a joke?

This is the kind of code comment I have to contend with

"We bought the source code for this tremendous app that does blah blah blah "
"Cool, in which language is written?"
"Cobol"

This is soo me reading previous dev code without documentation

This kind of stuff makes my blood boil. And yes, this is in production code.

I'm your CEO

This is our monolithic full stack JavaScript Saas

This is our legacy code

And Welcome to jackass.

!rant

Guys! I did it! Its possible!

My task was to extension a code in php. I wrote 100 lines of code and then it workes on first try without any errors!

This is a milestone!
Bill Gates is nothing against me!

To whoever reads this, I hope there is no missing semicolon in your code today.

Was watching a Chinese movie and there's a scene where someone is getting hacked, and this is the fucking code that they are show as the "hacking code". How hard would it have been to find something more legitimate than this?

If I hadn't had a few $0.69 hamburgers from McDonald's today, I would be more upset.

Sometimes looking back at your code for documentation reasons and you really ask yourself "wow, did I make this? this is fucking genius"

My code is doing Santa this year, I'm getting PresentNotFoundException 😁

This is actually an advice given to me:

"Only ever release your code on a Friday, preferably after 6pm. If you're not confident enough to do that, your code is not ready."

Who says dev doesn't require courage.

!rant

My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said

What are you doing?

I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....

This is a great sign...

This was an answer to the StackOverflow question, "What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered?"

One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..

Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*

The worst feeling is writing so many lines of code knowing you could do it in a more concise way if you just had time to think about it but you don't.

I see this is true.
I am learning software development I understand what the code does but the most difficult part is to think and think and think what code to implement and how you're going to code it to make the program work.

There is code reuse and then there is stupidity. This npm module has 4 dependents and 2 dependencies.

Me (refactoring bosses code):
Is this worth it?
let me work it...
I'll put this thing down, flip it, and reverse it

Boss:
did you just Missy Eliot my code?

Me:
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup I

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.

I code, watch Big Bang Theory, sip coffee, and code again. I never leave the doorsteps except for my classes. Some say my life is sad.

Is it? Anyone out there like this?

Does anyone else get so self conscious about writing neat, clean and efficient code that you get demotivated because you always think "there's a better way to do this".

The cleanest code is no code at all. 😂

Debugging vb code written by someone else, on a lagging remote desktop connection

I guess this is the peak of legacy code

It's not much, but this is where I code and I love it! Better cluttered than empty...

Once I got zero in an exam just because I chose to make a function for a piece of code I had to use repeatedly. I went to my lab teacher and asked her what was wrong about my code to which she replied "This code is wrong because there should not be this function in this class". She was our lab instructor and turned out she marked us by matching our code with code given to her by our lecturer. I quietly returned to my seat and started thinking about how did she get this job.

"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."

Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.

Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.

If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.

Goddamit!

Inb4 sorry if this is cringe or whatever

We don’t do code review

The most incompetent co-worker is that idiot who wrote this piece of crappy code! Oh wait, that's me!

This is how you know you write good code

The fuck is this shit?!?!?!

(Code found in a GameMaker Facebook group, in it for the lels)

When I saw this code, it is like using 2 pair of chopsticks to eat...

There is this code I am updating, not written by me, So I found this in the front end logic.

We study a lot to learn how to write code and the most satisfying thing in this profession is to delete code.

I realized while setting up this function, this is the code version of sarcasm.

The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.

Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.

That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.

I refactored half of my code and it worked for the first attempt. What kind of sorcery is this?

So I look the code of a client from my freelance job... And may I know what the hell is this?

Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.

Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.

The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.

Holy fuck this is terrifying.

I often times write code and think to myself "I don't have to comment this, it's obvious what is going on", only to find myself back at the same code, figuring out wtf it does...

Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?

How to avoid haters on Stackoverflow:
1. Add this before your code: "Try the following:"
2. Profit!

Exact same code, but one is hated

Try this code in JS:
++[[]][+[]]+[+[]]
This is valid and returns the string "10" in JavaScript  :)))

Source: in comment👇

Refactoring someone else's code (the dude's a senior).
I'm a junior, just updated my linkedin, burnout activated, I can't deal with this kind of shit no more.

Outro: this is the nicest piece of code from him, every other line of code just .... just.... D:

I've found this beauty in our company's legacy code.
The main doubt is: is that possible have the required strength to refactoring this 💩?

I write blocks of code like this:
If(condition){
code
}

I'm trying to fix a bug and the previous dev is doing it like this:
If(condition)
{
code
}

Does anyone know any good nerve calming pill ? 😜

So he is in the “elite” team as a “Sr” dev and i’m in the normal team as a ssr dev.

He: Hey look, the ‘F’ case is empty and doesn’t return anything, can you help me? This is some old code and we have to add some features.

Code:

Switch(string) {
case “J”:
case “F”:
cade “D”:
// some code
break;
// more code
}

I’m crying

Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.

Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.

This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.

Any frontend developer who can code backend system too?

Ps: this is just a meme please don't get serious, mates.

this is how I found bugs in my code....

This is 1 (one) line of code with 1 (one) semicolon

Finish this sentence :

“Everytime I code, ...”

My answer :
“Hope is not with me”

This is next level shit...
My friend in college is always sending me his C code for debugging IN FUCKING .odt!!
He even highlights the syntax.

"Why is this code working? How did I do it?"

These unanswered questions keep me up at night.

Do you know what i hate most?

... commented old code!

What is the fucking purpose to comment old code IF YOU ARE USING A VERSION CONTROL SYSTEM?????

Commented old code is shit, because it fucks the readibility! I saw entire class full of this shit!

DELETE IT, YOU DON'T LOSE IT YOU MORON!!!!

Found this in a code base I just started to work with. I'm glad it wasn't referenced anywhere. This is going to be fun...

That magical moment when you finally merge into master and more than 20 issues close

Me : *writes code and feel good about the result and quality *
Code reviewer : Dafuq is this shit

God this code is hideous

* git blame *

Ahhhh

*slowly back away from the computer*

Me: Hey man, this code looks horrible, let's move this to a function.
Co worker: don't worry, we will make it better later
Me (thinking): yeah for sure...

This is all I need, is a good beer and code! 😁

Me: *rewrites chunk of code*
"Time to test this baby. This is gonna fail spectacularly"
Code: *works*
Me: "Fuck!"

The day I fit this into my code is the day I can die:

double penetration;

So I've been doing some code jobs now and recently they pushed me to a new level.
This company worked with some silly management app made in cpp which they asked me to edit a little bit giving it another style and some additional functions.
Day 1: this code is a mess.
Day 2: this code is a mess.
Day 3: how does this code even compile.
Day 4: I no longer have faith in humanity.
Day 5: I found my first comment (Yay?).
Day 16: I'm done.
Day 19: I got paid.

If you're making a project in cpp just like that dev you do deserve a punch in the throat.

No documentation, no comments, no patterns, just some thick pasta of poorly written code, names like fCalcAllTaxFilesSizeMB....
This haunts me for real.

When you look at a code you wrote a year ago - "this is shit, how could I have done this 😖"

How many of you know what this is?
It's what gives me energy to code all day long!

Yeah all these js files for one static page, hardly one or two functions are getting called.

Okay so somebody looked at this code and thought "yeah this is fine, it's going to compile"

Oh wait, this is my code!
You're a dick past me!!

The whole Microsoft office suite is being rewritten in React.js

This. Is. Not. A. Joke.

This also includes Skype, Ms teams, all office programs on all platforms, AND, VS Code....

Guys, we have trully peaked... gg....

Same days you just need a duck.

Me: map.get(record.Id)

Code: null

Me: no, map.get(record.id)

Code: null

Me: let's grab this record from the map

Code: null

Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.

Code: null

Me:.......

Code: 😉

Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.

Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.

!rant
Is this how you empower your code? 😁

"Well this is Java, that's intelliJ"
-Guy in my CS class figuring out why my code works and his doesn't

??????????????????? What??????

???? What???????

I couldnt solve a bug for hours.
Hours of googling.
Hours of mental trainwreck.
Hours of stress.
1:28 am.

I cant solve it.

HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA.

ChatGPT AI. HELP ME.

i copy and pasted the part of code thats bugging me. Keep in mind that this is a VERY large and robust system and this is just tiny percentage of code.

I told the AI to help me fix this shit bug.

ChatGPT literally explained me what the bug is as if im retarded and wrote code how to fix it.

LOOK AT THE SCREENSHOT U CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP

HOW????

This is my first php code ever written, nice to look back.

placeholder fail xD

is this what copying code from stack overflow looks like?

Understand my own code after two weeks
This is very useful 😂

This girl I don't even know much sent me this code. She is not a coder and has never written any code before by the way.

if(true)
{
temp=abhinav;
abhinav= v bad;
v bad= temp;
}

Is this what a modern day love note look like? 🤔🤔

Is this the new trend I heard some of you talking about? Sharing recipes through code.

This meme is shit;
Code is never really "finished".

just found this in some code running in production.

// This is a single comment.

Code reviewer keeps removing my comments saying, "This will only be read by other programmers, the code should speak for itself".

<hyperbole>
This is the exact opposite to back in uni where for every line of code they demanded 2 lines of comments!
</hyperbole>

My first new year resolution for this 2017 is learn to do the f****ng unit test before implement the code

This is the code to hack into a GPS-Navigation. Taken from the Netflix-series "Designated Survivor".

Meeting yesterday:

Senior E: "Man, every time I do code review I thought this is the stupidest code ever written - then I look at the author, oh wait it's me"

Me: "Well, the perfect code is the code never gets written"

SE: "Casting appreciative look with a nod"

Is it possible to provide feedback on a colleague's code, without him/her getting offended? I haven't figured this out yet..

this cat always accompany our developers day and night.

he is a cat-code!

may god bless him health

Account manager: "We somehow managed to take unmaintainable spaghetti code for money again. This is a great opportunity for you."

I'll never ever understand how my boss always ends up doing this kind of bullshit

This is production code, there won't ever be anything in there, NEVER

Found this in a code review today.

Technically, I guess, that is one way to fix a divide by zero error.

Code it in binary

(My friend claims to code in binary, is this an actually applicable thing or just a novelty thing to impress people?)

Found this in my work code. This comment is from 2009.

Collaboration at it's best.

Found this in an old project of mine... I think I was fed up with some issues ^^'

Got an assignment for my OOP class, looked at it, laughed, "haha this is baby stuff I could code this by farting on the keyboard"
Wrote 400 lines of code without debugging
🙃.... Why do I do this to myself?

!rant
First time in my life I can't wait to get home to code. This is exciting! 😊😊😊

"This code really sucks"
"Well it's not that bad"
"But there is a GOTO"
"Oh"

Client code:
neat, organized easy to interpret
Server code:
da fuq is this? da fuq is that? what does this do?

People who cant see the code:
client's
People who can see the code:
THE GUY WHO IS WORKING ON THE SERVER!

Learned a new word here in devRant: sleep code.

Code that's is written where you hardly can get an eye open.

Crazy shit 😵

Edit: Yeah, I count sleep code as one word (or phrase if this will satisfy you before commenting)

You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
*picks up*
"who's this?"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."

And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...

#FuckPHPInTheAss

>Start working on PHP after ages.
>Found that mail() is deprecated through server support
>they suggest to use PEAR Mail
>Suggest to use deprecated PEAR code
>Fix deprecated code and magically runs on localhost
>ohmygodyess.php
>try to run on server
>fuckMyLife.exe
>Try using PHPMailer
>WTF is this How the fuck this works?
>Spends hours to understand with example code
>WorksFinOnLocal.exe
>NopeIWon'tRunOnServe.lulz
>about to use YiiMailer.

#Sleepless

Code on walls at Microsoft HQ in Poland, wtf is this?

Today my code is like this

My wife is starting to learn how to code. Now is finally understanding when I say this function will be over when is over.

Yep, this code is in production....

Omg I just realized there is no code highlighting here!
`// @TODO: Please add this... `

*code reviewing someone's work*
OMG! if-statements within if-statements! This is an IFception! *prays*

Holy crap, this code is crap.

what is your favourite quote for programming?
This is mine :Truth can only be found in one place: the code.

This is a good Experience -

I used to go to a class to learn C++(was a kid back then).

One of the sir there told me -
"Anybody can write code,just knowing coding is not enough,idea is more important.You should have good ideas and solutions,you can alaways find people to code for you"

This has stuck with me till this day.

I have been trying to understand why my student's code isn't working just to find this piece of code. Checking out code early in the morning is definitely not my thing.

*Sigh*
My colleague produces this code and is completely happy with it .... !!!
Its 2018 FFS!!!

This little girl is helping me write some code! Isn't she a cutie!? 🐶❤️

What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?

This is my first rant! I feel this every time I flag each function on my code looking for my mistake and still doesn't work:

If you comment your code like this, I'd like you to rethink your life choices.

This is a project we need to work on in university. The code was given to us.

Is it normal for seniors to talk to juniors with disrespect if they made something wrong in code?
this is my first time job ever and I feel like this behavior is so weird honestly.

Had to look into some old code today and had the "Is this my code?! This can't be my code!? No one else worked on this code, so it must be mine... But, but, it's so... good! And clean! And logical! And well documented! This can't be mine... Can it!? Hey! It works!" moment.

Hey guys, wanna see some spaghetti code? This is some parts of Yandere Simulator. More in comments

Typical code life?

1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!

---

This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?

This is How they code 😂

Wanted to code this Saturday but this hangover is killing me x(

I hate the fact that this is a valid line of Dart code

int val = null;

Looking at anyone else's code in things I use. I just think to myself "damn this is so neat and structured, I've never made something like this"

In the middle of coding: "Too into code to document properly. Will document later."

Two weeks later:"What the actual fuck is this code doing?"

I can't stand this JS is sooo fast bullshit anymore. You just suck at coding if your code with the most other languages is significantly slower.

The only programming joke I know is my code....
(I am already laughing while writing this) 😂😂😝

When you find this in the PHP code:

if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}

Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D

Leo Moracchioli
Coffee
Intellij IDEA Ultimate (Distraction free mode)

Stepping into heaven ...

So I'm approaching a 8 year anniversary working in IT and this feels like the first time needing to do a serious rant.

Today I've come across some code (infact just a single line) written by another company that is so fucking fundamentally stupid that they should be banned from writing any code ever. Like holy fuck.

This is textbook examples of shit never to do ever in any fucking environment or intranet/extranet etc. What the fuck. The fucking muppetry involved in this. This is what they teach novice programmers - you see this code written 20 years ago? Never fucking do this. You see this company that went bust 10 years ago? It was because of shit like this. Never ever write code like this or your 90kg ass will be thrown 300m by the greatest medieval fucking siege engine ever created after we throw you through the catastrophic gaping hole in time and space that your line of code just created.

Fucking fuckity bye.

this is my legacy code, it's stupid, Change my mind.

a large number of lecturer and friends are against my thought. personally, i think this kind of code is told to be an OOP yet this is against the OOP concept. why ? first you assign the field to be private, but you implement Getter and Setter method later on, this is the same if you assign the field to be public in the first place.

another minor thing; yes this is old me, i use Bahasa Indonesia as a variable name.

This fucking guy create a mess of a code, more than a spaghetti code, a clusterfuck of shit untested spaghetti code, and the project is actually getting well, our customer is getting bigger but everytime there is something to be added, its a fucking pain to add, and when something breaks, almost every thin breaks, and the shitty guy who wrote this code is quitting and its fucking up to me to clean up all the fucking mess, fucking asshole.

DOCUMENT AND TEST YOUR CODE KID, DONT BE A FUCKING SPAGHETTI PROGRAMMER

6 Months later...

Me: Oh God! This code is horrible! Who wrote this crap?

Also Me: Shit, it was me.

Finding comments in legacy code like "too tired, fuck you" or "this implementation is dirtyyyyyy" makes me wanna punch a dev.

going over some old code in the project...
thinking what garbage is this?
oh oh it was junior me :(

me: Today will be a productive code efficient day
also me: what is diz devRant
then me: man this is lit
*fml*

Me looking at my own code after weekends.

What fuck is this?

What the fuck is that?

this is why I'm going to use Linux and code Python 😤

still like Microsoft tho 😂😉

When it comes to nervewrecking situations, what I've encountered so far is a pull request for which the 2 reviewers had opposite opinions.
Something like this:
* opens pull request *
reviewer 1: "update using approach A"
* updates code *
reviewer 2: "this is wrong, change to approach B"
* updates code again *
reviewer 1: "this isn't what i asked for, i'm rejecting your PR"
Oh, also, each of them had their own set of coding standards.

What was your most challenging situation when writing code?

Wow, this code someone wrote a while back is really great. Words never uttered by anyone that meant it.

If you think your legacy code is bad - this is what I came across in a system I'm refactoring this morning... and this isn't even the bug I was looking for.

From a few years of programming experience, I come to know that "we cannot write perfect code."

What I mean by this is no matter how perfectly you write code, but if you have a peek on that code after about 3 months, you will be like, "I could have done a lot of things in a better way." Provided the code is atleast of 100 lines.

This post is now dedicated for a comment debate with the topic "Is Visual Studio Code an IDE?"

I 'll see myself out. Make the comments rain

5 years ago in Texas. There is shit code and then there's SHIT code. I know I can produce bad code and often do, but that codebase was an eldritch abomination.

Just to give you a tiny taste, variables in JS would usually be called "that" because "when calling them, I send the 'this' value right? So in the other function it is 'that'". I wish I was making this up. And this is nothing compared to everything else.

Nothing is more awesome than having a wife who herself is a coder.
*yay*
*hey, can you debug this code for me?*
*No? :| Okay*

Soon to finish my CompSci degree and already have been invited to relatives for dinner... And IT-support...
(They had statically set their NAS to the same IP as the router and lost it)

I guess its time to prepare for the onslaught of screw-ups I'll be asked to fix.

Fixing someone else's PHP spaghetti code is a pain in the ass. Who wrote this code 😭

This is very long along. Senior Developer was doing my code and telling the best way to write jQuery and PHP codes.

The funny part is that he doesn't know anything about PHP and whatever jQuery code he told me to correct was very shitty and difficult to maintain.

That's when I knew. This world is fucked up!

This code is due today.... So tell my again why you're changing the requirements /now/?

Dev: Woah look at this code! I might be a genius!

Also dev a few months later: Woah WTH is this shit? Was I totally dumb or what?

So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.

Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.

Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....

Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.

I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.

Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.

I think this is the first time ever on my team where I read someone else's source code and actually went "wow... This is pretty well written and structured". No god methods or classes.

And then, looking for the source of a bug in the code .... I randomly found this:

public bool IsOperationStarted { get; set; }

public bool IsOperationStartedTrue
{
get { return IsOperationStarted == true; }
}

public bool IsOperationStartedFalse
{
get { return IsOperationStarted == false; }
}

If the package.json is longer than your actual code this maybe shouldnt be a package. Just saying.

So I'm at a hospital (everything is fine as long as I'm concerned) and there's this pregnancy sign... But it just hit me (not sure how to start this idea) sex is this amazing interaction between softwares so good and well coded that we already know what can create, not only that but the hardware (with some flaws here and there) makes such great UX! Seriously, the join of code (one of the hardest code I know) to make a better code and the interaction thanks to the hardware is great! Thoughts?

That moment when you read your own one month old not-commented code !

What is this?

You all know that these AI dev tools are reading your code right?

It is sending it back to a data center and doing evaluations on the code. This is like handing your code to an unknown entity with no guarantees for privacy or copyright protection.

This concept bothers me and I would have to consult with my employer to even determine if we wanted to take that risk. I think it is just a matter of time before a bad actor takes advantage of this and rips off a company somewhere.

A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.

colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...

Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.

What I saw in code today,
If(somthing){}else{doWork()}

And the whole code is like this. WTF

Trying to understand other people's code like:
- 6 README, in total 7 lines (that's all there is for documentation)
- 40% of code is commentary like (original code, not altered...)
// if(a = b)
// c = d; // this is not working

Change one line of code. Fix the tests for the next 6 hours. This is absolutely normal... NOT!

Oh yeah, Just Moved the Code to Production, and this is a long weekend...
It's gonna be exciting. 🤣

Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.

I know that this isn't the place to ask questions like this. Anyway, is there a easier way to do this? This code updates my age on my birthday. Also, first attempt to make anything in JS :)

Today, i discovered thus beauty within our legacy code:

// TODO: this is probably the most dirty thing in our product. It needs a model more than anything else

This captions a crappy part of controller code for several years :/

<html> <script> alert("Hello World"); </script> </html>
This will be my first line of code which is actually being used by users.

But is HTML it even code?

Contest is over. I accidentally submitted broken code at the last minute so this is my unofficial placement.

If you think : I should probably refactor this. Just do it. Especially if is your code.

Me: Gets my friends code and opens it on Eclipse to study it
Me: Sees code and tries to study it and actually understands it
Inner me: (OCD kicks in and realizes code is not formatted well)
Me: alt + shift + f
Code format changes

Me: how the fuck does this work now

Writing ugly code should be a capital offence. And oh, I should be the sole judge of what is an ugly code or not.

No, this punishment won’t apply to me, thanks for asking.

Sometimes code is correct but so wrong. Came across this in a kotlin PR today

If (thing != null && thing!!.field != null) {

So this is my IT teacher, he should teach us how to build good code, reliable...

I slightly changed the color of a label on a WinForms app...and broke everything.

Why the fuck would anyone code logic that is dependent on the exact color of a control.

This code is a train wreck.

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

Literally came across the third line of code and made this meme.

To top it off, the if statement looked like this:
if ([that ugly code])
{ //it is
...
}

This is coding at its finest....

When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!

Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem

(just happened to me 😅)

This is how my coworker does code reviews... imagine comment on a line of code:

"Oh why does this not do this and that.
Edit: Oh I've read few lines below, now I understand. But this may break when this and that.
Edit: Nevermind I realized, that never happens, forget about it."

Let me just emphasise, that this is single comment, so it's basically editted multiple times, before submition.

Like wtf, just delete the comment then?!