My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!

Me: What? What did you do?

My friend: Nothing I swear!

Me: But you were last on it?

My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.

Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!

My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /

Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!

My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?

Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?

My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.

Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE

What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.

A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.

Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.

Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.

She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.

How To Be A Developer
(Easy Method)

(Note: You need an Android device to be a developer)

Step 1: Go to Settings.
Step 2: Click on "About phone".
Step 3: Click on "Build number" 7 times.

Congratulations, you are now a developer!

Have you ever seen such a comprehensive Title select?

Every user who's Smartphone is neither one year old nor will be getting Version Upgrade

TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲

So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"

What the fuck just happened. 😂

The ability to undo is a gift to mankind...

You know what I hate? When people don't listen to me.
You know what I love? When shit blows up in their faces because they didn't listen to me

That was one careful developer

I have a new car that drives itself to a certain degree.

However if you take your hands off of the steering wheel, after 15 seconds it starts shouting at you to put your hands back on the steering wheel.

SO imagine you’re the developer.

You can recognise when someone’s hands aren’t on the wheel.

Why might that be the case? The driver is sleeping, dead or otherwise incapacitated.

Appropriate response?

1) slow the car down to a stop?
2) just turn off self steering so the car veers into oncoming traffic.

Yes you guessed correctly - it’s option 2!

For the love of fuck. Surely the better option would be to keep the thing steering but slow it to a stop.

#developeritus

What a great way to start your day and begin your fucking 2018

The cat just pissed on my laptop (it’s a macbook air)

Wet af

Stink af

Dried the fucking wet stink af laptop

It still works

But the fans gone crazy and slow af

Trying to reset the smc stuff

Nothing changes, still retarded

I want to open the bottom case but i dont have the screw driver

With its fucking limited 128gb storage i store my shits in cloud storages like google drive, dropbox and mega and my projects are stored in bitbucket so nothing to lose

Me : 1 vs Cat : 1

To my beloved cat:
I work hard using this damn laptop to provide food and home for you and you just take a piss on it.

Days upon days I've spent on making this shit. Now the PC doesn't recognize it as a fucking hub, and instead it's just a glorified LED with some audio connectors next to it. What a fantastic waste of time 😑

I can throw an exception further than anyone else...
Just saying

Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:

FBI: FUCK!! We just lost our connection to all those civilian routers we were monitoring
FBI IT Department: Did you try turning them off and back on?
FBI:

Me : hey, why have you taped out your webcam ?
Him : shhhh, they are watching.
Me : what ?
Him : what ?

Designer: The design is done and approved by you. Set the launch date. We just need to put some code behind it and the shop project is finished.

After the meeting the programmers heard what the designer said to the customer in the meeting.
Programmer: *facepalm*
PM: *facepalm*

So I'm learning 2D game dev in java.
(I know)

Being stubborn I'm coding everything myself because, you know who needs libraries.😅

And

Holy toenails ,I have mad respect for the guys who build game engines. Especially 3d engines.

Y'all are beasts.

Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"

"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"

Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
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I mean "let me hack you"

When people say HTML is a programming language

Well. My life is over. I got punchy and accidentally deleted a client’s entire site. Backups and all. Wasn’t paying attention to which specific delete feature I was using and POOF. It’s all gone.

The worst part? I was actually just trying to delete a staging site where I was trying out some stuff to try to win a site redesign contract. Now it looks like I’ll be paying THEM for damages and/or building them a new site for FREE.

I’m so done.

If I had a dollar every time a non software engineer used the word "just" in a sentence...

"Just" convert this Matlab code to C++

"Just" make it faster

"Just" have it done in a week

Any good developer has read this.

Client: can we have a quick call right now?
Me: sure, hold on while I install VirtualBox, Windows 10 and Skype for Business

!Rant

Once I had a summer job at the town hall that ran some mainframe program.
The woman explaining this program was like 'now that you've pushed that we have to go back 3 screens and return to it just to check if the data has been properly updated.'.

I'm first thinking like 'wtf' followed by a 'could it be' and pushed the F5 button. The thing refreshed instantly and the women went wild! (That is after staring for 2 whole seconds with her jaw dropped at the screen, unable to grasp what just happened.)

HUU?! WHAT! WHAT DID YOU PRESS!!??? HOW DID YOU..??

Turns out she was been going back and forth these screens for over more than 20 years!

Ouch..

Me: "If today's demo to the client goes well,i will get my first cheque"
My server:"If today i stop working,it will be great"
Android Studio: "If i force a gradle update,it will be just fine".

*crying*
Fuuuuuck.Why nothing goes my way when I want it to????Whhhhyyyyy??

A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.

The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."

Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.

A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"

Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.

Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"

Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."

Seen on the subway; some folks just like using a mouse I guess...

Stupid fucking project managers, just posting some slurry in Slack:

"User can't get into app!" _sends useless screenshot_

Yeah? And? I have no context on what time this was, what device, where, how, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

You want me to just telepathically jump to their location on earth, sniff the electromagnetic spectrum waves to sleuth out what exact requests they made and when to figure out what the problem is?

Just shut up. Shut up

the ultimate dick move: invite your dev to a meeting, scheduled a few weeks ahead, with title "performance issues", without any further comments or notice in advance. when dev, seeing this invitation and feeling kicked right in the face, asks if this meeting is about a certain project or their individual working performance, just answer "both" without any further comments. if they have any more questions about it, just tell them you have no time to answer because meetings.

>P
>l
>e
>a
>s
>e
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>d
>o
>n
>t
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>d
>o
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>t
>h
>a
>t

GIVE ME A PROPER FUCKING CHANGELOG

Im kind of a backend guy now
client says I have the "view" of website, and backend code. just plug the view to the backend...
Sends .jpg files an tells me "oh, its just photoshop yet. can you quickly pull the frontend code from it?" 😑

Guys .... What you say about this when YOUR SENIOR do this....

Me: Making me work 17 hours without a 8 hour break is illegal.

Manager: You just sit at a damn desk all day and long shifts are required of IT

???????? Do you really think I just sit at my desk twaddling my thumbs?

!dev

My mental health has been down the drain b'cuz of circumstances. And unfunnily, it did end up taking the better of me. yet folks around me still do not believe it's a thing that people don't want to live anymore; rather it's a "childish" thing and "are you so weak" thing.

And I'm just gonna tell you, if you ever said that to someone who feels like the world is coming to an end for them, you're an unbearable ass, and you're probably one reason that person wants to off themself.

Living around some people is just torture on its own.

Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.

Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.

Try all you want, I will not join the cult of pink 😛

Dear fucking boss,

If you want me to implement a huge feature which requires the creation of dozens of db tables, server side classes and front end pages, just fucking stop ask me every 2 hours if I’m done.

Best regards,
The employee that will quit in a week or two

Github takes 2 hands and pornhub only 1

Just found this comment on the play store

- I'm trying to connect to the server at your location. What's the IP address?
- You can just write localhost there.
- 🤦‍♂️

How does the new MacBook pro outsell Microsoft surface and dell XPS 😖 are there so many "sheep" out there who buy a 1300+ machine with 2 (max 4 ports) not including the 17 dongles you'll need?

Sorry if I offended anyone but I just think the new MBP is ridiculous and is definitely not "Pro"

I am so fucking sick of getting asked to implement special cases / features for 1 fucking customer just because the customer wants to do something differently (read fucking stupidly).

This piece of shit codebase already has easy on 500 special cases that were put in place to please some asshole who does'nt even use the feature he demanded once he realised what a wanker he was being.

Now I have to put in yet another bunch of conditional statements all over the place to pad another fucking douche bags ego.

For fuck sake can they not just use the software as it is. If some dick really wants shit his special glorious way can we not just fork the codebase give him his shit and he can stay on the same special fucking version forever without future updates because the other 99% of user aren't retarded.

Sometimes it just feels this way....

What if this was the real meaning behind JAVA:
Just
A
Violent
Algorithm

Hi guys
I'm just starting to learn c++ (with no coding background) and being 22, i feel like it's too late.
Wish me luck.

USE THE FUCKING MEME CATEGORY.

THANK YOU!

I just found a game (have not played it yet) that I think everyone here will cream over.

It's an insanely detailed hardware/ low level/ make-your-own-computer game.

I watched the trailer and it sets you up by teaching you logic gates and basic circuitry.

Then, it eventually teaches you how to build your own computer using these gates.

Then, you start creating your own assembly language using the computer you made.

Then, you use your computer to solve problems like sending a robot through a maze or just building snake on a display.

Absolutely check it out, it's on sale for $13 USD. I just bought it. Turing Complete on Steam.

Is it just me or does this make you nauseuos too?

Today I made like the dirtiest hack I ever made. I needed to convert people's birthdate into days (starting from 0), and then had to find out the oldest person. It didn't work, because the output was the youngest person... So instead fixing the mistakes in my code, I simply made the value be negative ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

C=consultant
M=Me
D=my Dumb boss

M: so how are you guys planning to implement the block all accounts feature?
C: oh it should be easy! We will just loop over every account and lock it!
M: what about implementing a flag that just blocks anyone from accessing the site till further notice?
C: what? I’m sure it’ll work. Just need a list of all accounts, we don’t need anything fancy!
M: what happens when we want to revert back to the pre-block state?
C: oh, so we will just unblock everybody
M: even people who were previously blocked for good reasons?
C: i guess so, unless you think otherwise
M: we r….
D: listen! We just need to be able to block all accounts, who cares about this details! So long as we block all accounts! We need this nuclear option in case something bad happens…
M: but what about when that bad thing passes and…
D: when it passes it passes who cares!

Arghhh so much rage here… like first at the stupid engineering design of looping over all of the accounts instead of using a simple flag. Like 1 http call (from one microservice to another) is a lot better than O(n)… not to mention, we won’t have to deal with failures and retries.

And second for my boss being a dumbass… ok you deal with being to afraid to unblock people after we used this “genius nuclear option”!

We can compile, transpile, and do all sorts of fucky internet things through an entire development pipeline and then troubleshoot through all sorts of hackery and dev sorcery to output html.

Or I can just index.php and be done with it.

I dunno man, I dig frontend and using the popular js libs to put shit online and be done without having to deal with the fuckery that is wasm or use something similar to Rust to bring shit to my clients.

9 times out of 10, these dudes have been well served with the php or node or even golang that i give them.

Seems that a lot of tools coming up just make shit harder.

Even VBScript seems simpler compared to the amount of web fuckery going on right now.

Yeah I keep current, but fuck, every day it seems as if shit was just getting more and more complex

The code im writing is so ugly that i am tempted to pay for github pro, just so i can hide it from society :D

I never thought that not coding for six months could do this much damage

!rant.
My new toy😎
Any of you out there drone lovers?)

When someone doesn't check what printer they are printing to

My Mac just closed all my shit and auto restarted to install updates. My...Mac..

Interviewer called me useless for reason that I am a self taught programmer and don't have a degree. She told me that I will have no future. Because self taught are just useless who who try to fit in the club.

This personally offend me so much. Yes, I'm self taught. At least I have a heart of learning rather than being arrogant ....

Wk92 reminds me of the time when our professor spent 45 minutes talking about the difference between absolute and relative URLs.
45 FUCKING MINUTES!!
I was about to just pack up in and leave mid-class because I couldn't take it anymore. But he noticed, looked at me, then continued talking with the most annoying smug smile on his face.
He knew that if I got another warning, he could get me almost kicked out.
I just sat in the back, headphones in, slowly dying.
And he just smiled...

Friend: 'I have an idea you could totally do: a search engine for travellers that searches hostels, hotels, flights and resteraunts'
Me: 'yeahh I'm currently working on an e-commerse website. Should keep me.busy for a while'
Friend: 'integrate it into your website, it'd be silly not to'

Do people think we just click 'integrate idea' button for a living??!
Seriously the fux

I was taking a test for an online class, and I noticed that all the pages had the .html suffix. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued because I was expecting them to have hidden this part of the URL. The pages were locked for 48 minutes but I wanted to know if I could somehow circumvent the timers.

After some digging around in the source, I found where they were changing everything.

It was a small .js script that was making the page work. I could see that I could actually choose what page to get to. After plugging in some of the links, I found that I could actually get to specific parts of the class.

Ended up completing the class in 1/4 the time it usually takes.

I win.

golang is so beautiful.

standard crypto library, compiles natively, pointers, it's pretty cool.

👍

When in doubt, just add another ; or }

See, the problem with University students beginning programming is that they think that they're the hottest shit just because they know how to open cmd.exe. Since I'm a mentor, I have to give them pro tips while helping them through problems. I can't count the amount of times I've repeated "solve the problem on a notebook, write down how you should approach it before you begin typing your code, otherwise you'll end up spending more time debugging." They don't like to listen, cuz they're the next Zuckerberg. The following day I get a bunch of emails asking why their code doesn't work.

Our nurse at the hospital, along with the most annoying people I've ever known, says, "knock knock" out loud when she enters the room.

Just couldn't resist myself from posting this.... XD...

See the full image...

Working with shit like this

Fuck sake :(

So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.

Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(

Wife wanted me to make sure that we can watch the entire season 12 and 13 of degrassi while in the hospital (which has no good internet connection), but there is no good torrent or anything that lets you get it downloaded locally.

So I wrote a super basic script to scrap the season from YouTube and download it. Now just having fun looking at it.

Heroku Free Dyno Hours (In theory)
-----------

Me: My hours is out

Heroku: Sorry fam they have to die

(force slep until next month)

Me: nuu-

-----------
Heroku Free Dyno hours (Actual)
-----------

Me: My hours is out

Heroku: I don't care dude, nothing will happen. Just leave it as it is

🤷🏼‍♀️ <—————

I was impressed with my latest job interview in the government (got the job).

Applied online, and they extended the application deadline because the lack of quality of applications.

I got invited for an interview. Present there were HR manager, Department manager and an employee from the regional office (opening a new dev department in the region).
Most of the interview consisted of them telling me about the company, and asking a bit about me. Nothing technical.

1.5 month later I got a 2nd interview. Present were two developers from the main office in Oslo. Again, very little questions about my technical capabilities. Mostly just repeating the stuff said in the first interview. Though I did have to send some code in for review by them.

A month later I get a phone call from the department head saying they’d like to offer me a job, but they don’t have a concrete job offer yet, as it has to be approved by a committee (gov stuff). That takes two weeks, and I finally got job offer. 42% pay rise from the current job in the private sector.

I later went and re-read the ad for the job. “Bachelor/ master required. For particularly qualified applicants, this requirement can be ignored.”

Fascinating that they didn’t give me more tests.

🎶 Simple Plan - I'm just a dev 🎶

I woke up it was 7
I waited 'til 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think there are a lot of specs
I just haven't received them yet
They are the only thing that I really need to know
Because I can't find them on stack overflow
And here it goes

I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight

And maybe when the projects dead
I'll finally go to bed
But I'm staring at these four lines again
I'll try to think about the last time
That they were working fine
These things have business rules that I don't know
And they're gonna leave me here to figure it out on my own
And here it goes

I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight

!dev

So, Boris Johnson just got moved to intensive care. Fucking poetic Justice if I've ever seen it.

You know what Linux has taught me? That above anything, a computer is just a tool. There is a lot you can do with the tool, but do not depend on it so much that you fear losing it.

Soooo I am guessing that if this year or the next is the downfall of fb then react is pretty much destined to die then eh?

devRant has a good design, but am i the only one who finds the refresh button a bit unsettling? Would anyone else prefer something else?

Stop making "aesthetic" changes in modules you're not working in. Your naive "add proper..." commit just brought down the whole system.
Thank you for half a day wasted and a pissed of client.

1. high severity production incident was asked to look into at the end of the day.
2. needed fix in ui.
3. fixed and deployed in 1 hour.
4. issue remained. debugging began.
5. gave up at 1 AM and went to sleep.
6. woke up at 6 and after debugging for 2 hours, identified to be a back end issue.
7. worked with back end team for the fix, and 6 hours and 3 deployments later, it worked.
8. third party vendor reported they are still not receiving one parameter from us.
9. back end team realised they forgot to ask ui to send another parameter.
10. added the parameter in ui, redeployed ui.
11. build and deployment tool broke down. got it fixed. delay of 1.5 hours.
12. finally things are in place. total time 26 hours.

13. found half bottle of vodka, leftover from last weekend. *Priceless*

!dev

So I've just been evicted, apparently the house I have a room in is being repossessed.

Now living in a tin hut in the middle of a field. Loving life, life loving me.

So I finished my first semester in NYU as a CD master. During the first semester I took a class called heuristic problem solving. Every week a competitive game will be introduced to us, and will be played in two weeks. And trust me, the games aren't easy. I teamed up with another guy who I had no idea was and named our team as we don't know. At the end of the semester we won seven out of nine games, and by won I meant that we beat the whole class in the match. And my teammate became a really good friend.

By telling this story, I want to make a point. I love problem solving, and not problems in a algorithm book where you apply an algorithm and do some trick to solve it, but real world problem where you hope for the best and anticipate, predict your opponent's move. However, American's school system doesn't teach that.

When I applied to graduate school, no school wanted me because I have an average GPA of 3.6, and no outstanding achievements. I can solve problems in my dream becaus I have an active mind, I can propose solution to a project one month before my teammates realized they essentially were doing what I told them the solution should be. But so what, I can't write those on my application.

One of the professor told me that my professor shared the story of my team during a faculty dinner, and they were very impressed by our achievement. So I guess I'm not dumb. But after all, companies and schools will look at your transcript and decide who you are.

I love myself for having random thoughts all the time that can lead to innovative problem solving. But I also hate myself for not able to study like the good kids are.

Just realized that @electrineer is @vocuzi without shades!
Context:

Who the fuck writes a 200 line method with 52 if/else statements, 3 try-catches, 6 loops and only 1 comment saying //Array of system records. No dipshit I thought that was a Fucking interface. What happened to the whole keep it simple notion?!

First day out of 10 exam days today! Have to use windows which I'm obviously not a fan of but oh well I'll manage.
But really, at first it didn't recognize my headphones (regular headphones input). Fair enough, after the admin fiddled around for half an hour we got it working.

*lets install Firefox and chrome*
The installers wouldn't launch at all, bit of fiddling around aaand it works.

*lets use Ms word again then*
Every time I try to save a file it gives shit tons of errors.
Found out that it does save but only with those errors.

*alright let's open up some pdf files*
"Error: no permission to use this application*

Oh come the fuck on just work I've got important stuff to do with a lot of time pressure!

I DON'T MIND USING IT ONCE IF I HAVE TO BUT COULD THAT COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JUST FUCKING WORK?!

The worst part, I wasn't the only one with trouble, multiple people still don't have the jackplug thing working :/

Feel the difference.
Working at Google vs Googling at work

So I'm just wondering if this happened to everyone else because a few friends of mine at work have corroborated my experience.

So, when I was very young and just starting to learn PHP, I was trying to grasp OOP. I read and read about it and did the example tutorials and nothing really did it for me. Then one day, writing some scripts for a game I played, it just hit me. Literally like "oh.....I get it. That's why this is a thing."

/* A normal day at office */

// A non tech guy sitting next to me
// Wants to save a file on his system.
Him: Moves Cursor. Clicks File->Save.
Me: *facepalm*
<!-- moments later -->
// Time to save a file
Me: Ctrl-SSS
Runs code.
<!-- insert picture here -->
Me: Alt-TAB. Ctrl-Z. Ctrl-S.
Him: *sigh*

Normal lang:
int
bool
string
Java:
int
boolean
String

Sometimes I wish I could run code outside computers/servers/microchips. Then I could build another world.

Visual studio code:
Debugging that "just works"

Me after several hours:
Yes! I finally got the vscode debugger to attach!

Can marketing (and PM) asshats take a moment, think about the word "just", the amount of time they are using it and STOP USING AT ALL. It's fucking irritation to hear that word.

for example, it just needs to be get done, OR

just do an AJAX call and it'll be done.

Not sure if repost, but I can relate :D

Best Linux text-editor?

=> gedit

😆

When creative director starts sentence with: "Can we JUST..."

So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.

*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*

!Rant

I hope that my daughter takes an interest in STEM stuff. I’m going to introduce it early on for her. (She’s only 9 months old right now) but I’m admittedly nervous that she won’t have a hyper curious nature as she grows up. I was always super curious about learning about how things work, even though my parents never gave two thoughts about it. I don’t think that being curious and wanting to explore the inter-workings of stuff is learned so I’m just hoping she is a curious little-shit like I was as a kid hahaha.

The posts about love coding interviews and low paid freelancing work just reminds me how little anyone know about process of using code to solve real problems.

If someone wanted to give me a JavaScript test then I'd point them at Fivver where there are tonnes of JS devs available for minimum wage.

No one is paying me for my ability to write code. They are paying me to solves problems that businesses have that are likely to involve software.

I don't get why nowadays people still buy smartphones with battery capacity between 2500mAh and 3500mAh meanwhile there are cheap enough smartphones with fricking 5000mAh(or more)!

Typing from 3 day averagely lasting smartphone, with my use.

HR: "People you got to keep believing in the software so we can succeed. You look like a pack of beaten dogs who have given up the fight".

I can choose to believe in God and that he will bless us with a miracle but that's not going to make it any more real than believing in the software is going to fix all the work still left. 😑

My first rant :)

It's only 2 months I work as a developer, and i get so frustrated when at meetings my boss doesn't consider me or doesn't ask me about my work, and instead he asks others about things I am doing..

Katy Perry's song -"I've switched to tabs and I liked it"

So since everyone is sharing their setups and I just finished cleaning the desk, here it comes. The rice is still in progress since I switched to NixOS two days ago

We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.

Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.

I'm so fucking sick of pouring hours of work into providing application code for someone who could give two shits about what I've done -- instead he completely fixates on what's missing or broken -- nevermind that I completely eliminated a bad UI thread bottleneck.

Sometimes I swear that coding is a thankless job and people just expect miracles.

Really hate when people say development for Linux is really difficult, especially when it comes to game development and porting engines...

It really isn't, it's no more difficult to bloody windows and personally think it's easier than Mac development. Worse comes to, mono exists and is pretty damn stable, getting something ported to Linux really isn't as difficult as people try and make it out to be -,-

I thought SQL was supposed to be very easy? I'd like to jump off a balcony right now because of it ...
I don't know if I'm just dumb or if my sources for learning are bad or idk
maybe I'm just tired and dislike SQL

If you only pay your junior web developer $11/hour to handle projects by themselves, what kind of quality of work do you expect to have?

So this i quite a big project, hundreds of files everywhere, pages are rendered using multiple files.

This is one of the latest created page, it was made by my boss, and it just give me the creeps.

I REALLY don't know how he always comes up with shit like these.

I just hate having more than 5 closing tags in sequence...

I know I'm writing the correct integration tests when each one I add uncovers a new bug.

Still, it would be nice if just one of them passed first time.

I've deliberately searched a tonne of tech related stuff so my Google feed shows me tech news, but just because I live in Australia in getting bombarded with shit about the royal family.... I don't give a fuck how you pronounce Louis, I just want news!

DEVFALL -
phenomenon of hair fall in the budding developer.

Cause :- Staying awake 48 hours in a day

Cure :- CURE? WHY'D YOU WANT A CURE, YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME THE ULTIMATE BEING.

But seriously, cure :- just fucking sleep 9 hours a day for 6 months

I don't have a life.

So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.

... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀

So, unlike normal people who just click on an mp3 file in windows explorer, I'm listening to music saved on my windows hard drive, accessed via an sshfs mount, using VLC running inside a HyperV linux VM and Xming/pulseaudio to make it show up inside windows like a normal window and play sound.
Why? Because this is my replacement for WSL which broke (Good Job on the updates as always, M$) and I'm celebrating that I got everything* to work.

* Nevermind the hours I wasted because I forgot to add a rule to the windows firewall allowing pulseaudio to connect and the fact that Xming can't handle vlc playing video

I.Need.2.More.Fucking.Percent.Accuracy.You.Piece.Of.Shit

Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.

Later

Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.

How does devrant make money?

Just some random thoughts looking at the soon-to-be new filtering feature.

Wouldn't it be nice if DevRant had a QR login like WhatsApp for easy login on desktop?

What about a "top rants" on profiles?

Oh what about an activity mosaic like GitHub's commit timeline?

Just some thoughts I had while punching my punching bag, it can get tedious.

We have a new hire, and he doesn't know much so he is receptive when given feedback on better ways to handle a situation...Or at least, he appears that way. Until the next time and he didn't listen at all.

Today I'm working on the front end to match his API calls. I ask him about a list of options for one of the fields, as he didn't provide that info initially. No worries, there was a lot, easy to miss. He responds with a list of ~100 options, which he copied and pasted from, I'm assuming, their documentation. I tell him that's too many options to hard code, as there is an easy chance to have an error or for there to be one added or deleted, and ask if there is an API endpoint to get the list.

He then asks if I need the key and value, or just key. I tell him if he needs the value(human readable) then he can send me just the value, otherwise both. He says he just needs the key, so I let him know that I need both then, as the value is human readable. He says okay.

He proceeds to make the endpoint, I test it. Then I look at the code he wrote. Not only did he not send me both, he just sent the keys, but he hard coded all 100 keys as opposed to making the call to the external API.

For you to make it in this world, you first have to say hello to it.
HELLO WORLD!!
😂 😂

CMAKE, YOU PILE OF SCRIPTING SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NOT CHANGE MY BUILD DIRECTORY? I HAVE WASTED AN HOUR ON THIS UNBEARABLE SHITWEASEL OF AN EXCUSE FOR A BUILD SYSTEM!!!!

STOP SHITTING YOUR STUPID CACHE FILES INTO MY SOURCE FOLDER!!! AAAAAHHH!

A great and very common web attack is known as 'SQL injection'.

So if I am using MongoDB, does that become 'NoSQL injection'?

YouTube dark theme is pretty good!

I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't...

Weee both projects from yesterday went perfect...
Usual most of my projects end up fucked up because I want to do stuff I don't know how to... (well, I'm learning so I don't get frustrated, just pick up another idea).
Air cooler for power people V 1.1 works perfect. Today we will get almost 40 C and I feel the cold air in my face.

Request I saw today...

* A new, empty AWS Account
* The ability to run 120 high memory EC2 instances, including up to 80 instances of dl1.24xlarge, but don't worry, 40 of them will be spot instances. I'll probably just start with two m5.xlarge for simplicity.
* VPC Peering into our primary AWS network
* VPC Peering into a 3rd party's network (because we're paying them for this service)
* A couple cross-acount IAM roles
* Granting "AWS: AdministratorAccess" to said IAM roles

I'm a bit behind schedule, and this is urgent. When will you have this completed?

There's a design.
Flowchart is even colorful.
Just follow it please.

As of late I'm creating private game servers on my local network in my free time for fun / relaxing

I've already running:
a World of Warcraft vanilla;
Travian version 3;

And I am currently working on a conquer online private server, but getting the right client for it is the hard part...

Today I went to a computer store,
I ran dir /s C:\ ( "ls -r /" equivalent for Linux, sorry GNU/Linux)
left it there
Hoping someone will panic thinking that computer has been hacked

just bought (rented) my first dedicated server, for flipping 10€/month. let's see how it goes! boy, am i excited for my new toy...

I have been working on this software for 3 years now. The code base was a working prototype made by my boss before I came, not more, not less. Php + Angular. Have been refactoring a lot, backend is backed with hundreds of tests now, frontend still lacks a lot. Still a lot of programm structures are still the same weird ones my boss once created in a rush between two meetings while learning Angular to get the prototype finished. Now it's used in production which makes hard to refactor, because we have to maintain backwards compatibility. Neither the parts I added or refactored completely are satisfying, because they are built on this structures, because i never got any feedback for anything I decided and because I changed my own paradigms over time.

So I am all alone on this project. All genuinly new projects are assigned to the new team members (i was the first one, no we are five plus my boss) because I wont have time, have to maintain the old one. So I never can do something new which is quite frustrating.

I did a little side tool, the only thing I invented and did completely by myself in our repertoire - and now some stakeholder shows big interest onto this. Instead of giving me the task to make a real project from this my boss wants to give it to them to develop it. Why? Because I need more time for the main application.

Also the more the software is used the more bug tickets and feature requests come. I was crying for help for months but the others had appareantly more important stuff to do.

This might be true to some extend. Yesterday we had some kind of crisis meeting and my boss wanted again to assing pur junior to help me, who has a shit load of other things to do and is a student. I insisted that this would not be enough, and one of the fulltime devs has to get involved because the thing is our core application and I am only part time btw. So my boss said we wont decide today but one of them should do it. They should have some time to figure out who which is understandable but it's not that I didn't keep saying this for months. Now they are all like whimp whimp when I have to do php i will quit. The new projects are all typescript, with node backend if any. But alas, one of them even said yesterday he doesn't want to do js anymore. Okay... but... this is our tech stack then get another job allready?

And I should do the same probably. But then again I feel very sorry for my boss who helped me in very dark times of corona and more. If both of us leave, the project he worked on for decade (including convincing poeole, collect money..) might be suddenly at it's end while he is so exited about it's access today...

I also get insecure if it's really that they hate php so much or that they don't want to work with me personally because maybe I am a bad team Player or what?

I experienced the same at my old workplace, got left alone with big parts of the project because they didn't want to do php and js in this case and it ended up five devs doing the python backend and me doing the frontend and the php cms part all alone. Then I quit and now everything seems to happen again.

And then again I think I am only fucked up so hard by this stuff because I do not really like being a developer at all. I only do it for the money and because I am good at it (at least i think so. Nobody ever bothers to ever to read my code and give me feedback, because you know, php and js). So I guess I would hate any other job in the field maybe likewise?

This job *is* convinient, salary, office
position, flexibility could not be better. At the end of the day it's not that stressfull. And i don't have any second of freetime (due to family) or energy i could offer a new and more demanding employer, can't work over time or even take a fulltime position, can't home office, can't earn less, can't travel very long to the office and especially can't go back to school to learn something completely new. Some of these constraints are softwe then other naturally but still my posibilities at the Moment are very limited. That might change in about five years if the family situation changed. So it would most likely be reasonable to stay until then at my current job? And bear being alone with this app, don't getting involved on any new project, don't learn anything new, don't invent anything.

There was one potential way out, they considered offering me PHD position to the upcoming ml part of the project... But I learned that I would attend to a bunch of classes at university first, which i would like to, but I don't think i have the time.

I feel trapped somehow. I also feel very lonely in the Office because those fucktards keep saying in home office.

Man, I don't want to go to work today.

Who here doesn't give a damn about streaming services and still torrents all their movies and TV shows?

The joy of learning typescript!
One thing I hated about Javascript, fucking runtime errors when I mistakenly fuckup with a typo or assign wrong param to my vars

So apparently windows configures my stereo headphones as 5.1 headphones by default (which it never did before) thus causing weird bugs in games like witcher 3 where dialogs are super silent and everything else is super noisy. Thank you microsoft, for continuously making things worse.

Yahoo finance shut down all their historic data uRL and im out of options. No API or packeges works. I have a report to pass up on tuesday for my ViVa and this is shit. Fuck. My months of work just wasted.

*Googling for articles that explain something I'm trying to research*

Oh! This one is highly rated, sounds good!

*It's all written in python*

Ugh that's not helpful, ok next one

*Written in python*

Ok... Ok... Third times a charm

*Next 128 articles are done in python*

Has anyone considered that maybe not everyone uses python?

At least try writing it in Javascript or C++, much easier to adapt code to other languages... Maybe I'm just bitter because I hate python ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!

Today's shit list, compiled from multiple random apps:

* Your subscription renews without an email in advance (no time to cancel)

* Your chat bot asks me twenty questions about why I want to cancel my membership, then sends me to a live agent, who asks me the same damn questions.

* Your app emails me my password in plain text

* Meeting agenda squashed by execs:
"We don't talk about _____, but we're committed to transparency."

Oh no AI can destroy hummanity in the future! It is like skynet and such... Bad! It will be the end! FEAR THE AI!

Yeah so i cant sleep now so im writting a rant about that.

What a load of bullshit.

AI is just a bunch of if elses, and im not joking, they might not be binary and some architectures of ML are more complex but in general they are a lot of little neurons that decide that to output depending on the input. Even humans work that way. It is complicated to analyse it yes. But it is not going to end humanity. Why? Because by itself it is useless. Just like human without arms and legs.

But but but... internet.... nukes... robots! Yeah... So maybe DONT FUCKING GIVE IT BLOODY WEAPONS?! Would you wire a fucking random number generator to a bomb? If you cant predict actions of a black box dont give it fucking influence over anything! This is why goverment isnt giving away nukes to everybody!

Also if you think that your skynet will take control of the internet remember how flawless our infrastructure is and how that infrastructure is so fast that it will be able to accomodate terabytes per second or more throughput needed by the AI to operate. If you connect it to the internet using USB 2.0 it wont be able to do anything bloody dangerous because it cant overcome laws of physics... If the connection isnt the issue just imagine the AI struggle to hack every possible server without knowing about those 1 000 000 errors and "features" that those servers were equiped with by their master programmers... We cant make them work propely yet alone modify them to do something sinister!

AI is a tool just like a nuclear power. You can use it safely but if you are a idiot then... No matter what is the technology you are going to fuck shit up.

Making a reactor that can go prompt critical? Giving AI weapons or controls over something important? Making nukes without proper antitamper measures? Building a chemical plant without the means to contain potential chemical leak? Just doing something stupid? Yeah that is the cause of the damage, not the technology itself.

And that is true for everything in life not only AI.

my colleague had to send 50 semi individualized emails and started to do one after another. i quickly wrote a script to prepare the emails to be set up with a few clicks. she was impressed and thankful before proceeding to finish the task by hand.

Just completed learning HTML from Jon duckett book! Feel so good. Wanted to learn coding so long. And I finally start. Starting CSS very soon. It's my first rant !! Reading rant almost more then 4 months from diff. Account. Just a newbie here. Saying everyone Hi😊 Doing #100daysofcoding !

It's simple, just code.

To every fucking site with an .io domain:

Next time, hype a cheaper TLD...100$/year is just not reasonable...

I'm a week from the end of my internship... Finally ! YAY FINALLY IT ENDS YAY ! OH BOY OH BOY IT WAS SO SHITTY I CAN'T WAIT THE LAST WEEK

'Cliche' can be added to the 'Reason for downvote?' list! 😋

When every second 'rant' on devrant is a variant of xkcd's sudo joke.

sometimes i wonder when i see a rant 3 weeks old with just one ++ if it's just @dfox himself or not

FREELANCING should be renamed to COSTLANCING. Many people thinks that freelancing means free of cost.

Devrant motivates me to go out and code something after reading this next post...

Can we collectively as an industry just calm down a little and stop lying to ourselves in a misguided attempt to inflate our sense of purpose...

I just stumbled upon a job listing for a WordPress developer position that described it as "helping solve the big problems of the day". Seriously?! Let's stop and get real you're probably just building themes. Maybe a plugin or two. So just relax and accept you're just another web developer building yet another 💩site you're not solving "the big problems"...

... Then again it IS WordPress...

What if programming languages are only available commercially?

I'll never understand distro hopping. You're having something that works fine and that you're used to. You can always change the look by using another DE. But you prefer to throw it all away, try something else, end up deceived, try something else.
Just, why? Educate me, what are you exactly looking for that makes you want to change after some time?

When you wonder why it doesn’t work put print statements all over the code, because you want to find the error, but no print Statement works even if it just should print test...

Fml

I use openSuse. Wheretofind it??

I deployed one of our staging websites to a free plan because the site is rarely used. Project Manager sends the stakeholders the new url. There will be a lot of 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦 all around. Some of it’s my fault. A lot of it is just WTF.

Stakeholder: We still need the staging site because we don’t want to test in the live site…

PM: Okay. We didn’t say we were deleting the site. We are just moving it to a new and better hosting platform, so we’re letting you know the url has changed.

Stakeholder: This url is for the front facing page. How do I access the backend? [they mean the admin interface]

Me: The only thing that’s changed is the url for the staging website. So domain-A/account is now domain-B/account.

I thought that was a pretty straightforward way of explaining things, that even a non technical person would get it. They took the /account example as the literal login url.

Stakeholder: I forgot the password for our admin login and I submitted a password reset, but I realize I don’t know if I have access to the admin email. Or if it’s even a real email account.

WTF

I look back at the email chain and I realize that I gave the PM the wrong url.

Also, WTF x 2. How did this stakeholder not realize they were looking at the wrong website?? There are definitely noticeable style and content differences. And why would you have an admin login that uses a fake email??

Me: My apologies. I sent over the incorrect url. My instructions are mostly the same. All that’s changed is the domain.

Stakeholder’s assistant: [DMs me] How do we access the backend?

WTF…are they seriously playing this game and demanding I type out the url for them?! 🤬 I’m not playing this game and I just copy and paste the example that I already sent over.

They figure it out eventually. Apparently, they never used /account to login before They used /admin/index… but that would still bring them to /account, but with ?redirect=/admin/index appended to the url if they weren’t logged in. Again, WTF.

I know I made mistakes in this whole thing, but damn. I can’t even. I’m pretty sure this whole incident is fueling my boss’s push to stop supporting this particular website anymore so I can focus on sites that actually bring in revenue…and have stakeholders that aren’t looney and condescending like this.

I’m just new here...
Don’t know why I made an account here, just to read a single post, but yeah...

I’m a big Pokémon fan by the way...

React-Native documentation, are they serious?

Small rant. Why does clicking create a new event in Google calendars???? I am just trying to make it the active window, now I have to actually touch the keyboard to stop the madness!!

FFS why?! Just why....are people making things more complicated then they should be? And they use that for divs, headings, spans...

!rant
Which one do you prefer?
Work from home or office?

I hate it when framework doesn't behave the way it should (or I didn't code it the way it's meant to), though in example it works the way it should.

Reading documentation carefully is cool.
If i did that yesterday i would know that react sees env vars started with REACT_APP_
Instead that i was trying to figure out for 3 hours what is wrong with my docker compose file.
Read documentation

WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.

Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?

Eh What!? I mean what?!

Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...

Looking forward to trying out ChromeOS for a while.

I like the idea of a minimal OS. Frankly while Windows, macOS and Linux are all incredible bits of engineering, they all suck ass and are maddeningly frustrating.

Usually I'm on a computer to complete a task and just want the OS to quietly do its job and leave me out of its myriad personal crises. I don't want to see or hear from that fucker.

If experience tells me anything it's that I'll be swearing at the Chromebook within the week.

But, the fact I'm trying shows I haven't lost hope.

I just went to pee and I spent like 10 minutes reading devrant and I got paid for it.

Yes I pee sitting.

Now that I am on vacation I realise that there was a period of 3 months this year in which I didn't talk to any female at all except for my mom and sister, just because there are almosy no girls that study software engineering... What the fuck is happening here? Could we please make SE more attractive for women? Its not just that I would like to flirt with women, I think that having women around would improve a great deal of things. For instance, I think that a group dynamic is a lot better if the group contains women.

How do you think we can make software development more appealing to women?

I always try to break my code when it works without errors the first time.

Just to be sure that the code I wrote is being used.

Anyone else?

Honestly, who could have thought at some point of his life that having all the business logic on the database with 20k stored procedures was a good idea?

Hey guys! So I just woke up from a dream in which I was talking with skilled programmer and he gave me awesome pro tip which I'd never realize exists!

But it was my dream so my idea. I have no idea how the f*ck this works but it's awesome. Is it just me or ?

Does delete account in devrant asks for confirmation of delete account or just deletes the account without any confirmation?

I am studying an online data science course in python offered by Microsoft.
The instructor uses Surface book and also has a Mac book on his desk for backup because windows.
He uses chrome all the time for his explanation to run jupyter.
The point is even they know their tech is shit but still "Windows has set your default browser to edge" - this happens
¯\_(ツ)_/⁻

I love it when I’m right, I just hate it that it takes you so freaking long to figure it out.

Fixed something that was giving our team a lot of trouble. Teammate asks, "How did you fix that?!?". I said, "I'm a code whisperer." Which really just means I whispered to the code, "Please work. Why won't you work. I just need you to work." The code replied, "Okay, but just this once. And only because you've been in the fetal position crying about me for two hours."

So apparently my computer is autonomous and talks now. What about you guys?

Question: how many of you have told co-workers about devRant and wished you hadn't ???

TLDR: Detect site visitors browser and conditionally load a Citrix frame rather than rendering the site

The request came about 3 days after launching a new project to production. For several months before that moment we had reviewed and confirmed the supported browser matrix. As you might guess plans tend to go up in smoke as we approach and pass launch. Now that we're live after all, it would be the tine to lose our damn minds rather than bask in the warmth of a successful launch for 5 minutes.

Anyway as for the actual request, after those first few days the client PM realized a FEW people were actually using IE8 and was now panicking that it was unsupported. On my way out of the building that day he asked if we could detect the browser and rather than render the site load a frame to a Citrix session that would be running the latest IE...

They said, create variables...
not war...

Introducing Cyberwar 1.0

Should I put my hobby is to browse devrant in my résumé? Hmmmm ....

Why do some developers rebase or resolve merge conflicts when you can just email each other changes and force push?

FML. I JUST realized devRant can push notifications. I don't have to open the app every ten minutes now. 🤖

this should have been my first rant, but ive never thought about this till now. here goes.

did anyone actually find out about this community by googling problems with profanity? and instead getting some thread from stackoverflow, they got a rant post from this website haha

STOP. DUPLICATING. DATA. !!!!!!

Working from home working on the company project. The working time ends and i just switch projects for the next 6-7 hours... and i am happy with this

happy new year! what do yall have planned for this year? I'm thinking about writing me up a miniature jarvis to automate my Web Development business, nothing really special just automated invoices, website installs, calendar, contract signing, etc. where all I have to do is type up a requirement list and code

What type of cursor do you use/like?
Black with white borders for me 🙋‍♂️

Anyone here who ever applied for a software engineer post at Google?