Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

my all-time favorite xkcd comic. Many will know it already, but i think it's a nice start into devrant community and maybe a few will laughing as hard as i did when i've seen it the first time :)

Got a great boss!!;

Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉

Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!

Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"

i know im lame kill me

we all know that it will not happen

YOUTUBE HAS A DARK THEME?

How long has this been going on and why didn't I know about it? In all cases, I just turned it on and it seems like the start of a good day.

You know what's fucking scary?
If you change a big block of code and it compiles, all tests are passed and you don't even get a warning.
Just wasted 20 Minutes because I tried to look for a mistake

I know pretty much everyone here understands the importance of net neutrality, but here’s a nice chart you can share with all your non tech friends explaining the importance of it in terms they understand

I don't even know if this should be a rant or a good thing, but here it goes:

my boss smokes (legal) weed in the office, under the AC, so the smoke goes up and it spreads all over the place => we all get a bit stoned

update for all that care:
I have successfully gotten android studio to run on a chromebook.

don't ask how.

don't ask why.

don't even ask.

but know. it's working, and it was worth it.

Yes yes yes ... We all know HTML is not a programming language. Can everybody please stop leaving that as a comment in every single damn rant in this app?!?!?!
Seriously, get over it... I wonder where you would all be of there was no HTML.
Give
It
A
Rest
For
Fuck's
Sake

Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.

Someone just asked me to edit a video.

"I just assumed IT ppl know all aspects"

.....lol

I was talking in class. Teacher saw me. She asked me to explain the topic she was going to explain. It was Network Security. I started explaining how we can prevent tracking of our online activities by using VPN and all.

Teacher (to class): Do you all know about VPN?
Whole Class: No.
Teacher (to me): They don't know about VPN. Now, how will you explain?
Me: I won't.

*Cyanide out*

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

I know python , JS, java etc. Some might know php, some others might swift and so on.. but the only language understood by everyone all over the globe is this 😂(wait for it to load, and you will believe what I'm saying :P )

Do you know that feel when some relatives ask you why you are "gaming" all the time, while in reality you just released a new version of a library you wrote and wanted to get it right?

Noob: I hate $foo language! It sucks!
Me: Have you used the language before?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: have you tried using it?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: so how do you know it sucks?
Noob: because all my friends that use $baaa says it sucks.
Me: ........ I see your point... sheep 🐑

The fact you’re older doesn’t give you the right to call other people’s 8-months’ engineering effort “shit work”, especially if you didn’t even see the code...

Sincerely,
Your tech lead - me :)

For all those who hard coded 2017 in their code don't forget to update it 😋

PS. I actually know people who have

!rant

Yes! finally 4588 people got fed. I am targeting 10k of people. Get free food from my food bank. Previously people dont know where to get it , now they know it from my platform.

It is so satisfying to see people help the needy get food and groceries.

All of us can do this, as Malaysian government fuck themselves, the rest of us citizens can help each other...

i hate the phrase "It's working but I don't know why". If you don't know how it works, it means it doesn't work at all and will fuck you up soon.

"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...

"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then

"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information

"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot

"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...

Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...

My life... Back to studying (haven't made it far through the book. Trying not to pretend I know it all)

Hi all. I know it's been a while. I've forgotten what days off are. However, knowing you all are here and understand the terror of horrendous code gives me comfort while dealing with statements like "the problem isn't with our code, we haven't touched it in 14 years" while discussing database upgrades (3, in fact).

Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh

Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows

(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.

... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.

Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...

Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward

I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible

An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way

It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux

We can't have nice things after all.
Tag anyone you know who is using it.

Did you know..

There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.

Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..

From the guy who wrote all the Programming Microsoft books and the Annotated Turing book. Comes this book.

This book is great for beginners great for people who don’t know a lot about software and how computers work, simple read. I like it because it also gives a different prospective, beginning at Morse code and works up from there all the way up to high level languages.

The book gives snippets of code to discuss it not really a tutorial book. It’s a different type of book that all people could understand.

Good read

Dear friends and family, just because I'm a devloper does not mean I know how to fix all of your IT issues. I am not IT.

Software is such an awe inspiring concept if you really think about it. We literally create our own reality from scratch. Binary for the wrong architecture? Don't worry we can emulate it. Network? Fully software defined. Heck, the servers don't even know if it's real or all in software. You know what? Fuck it! The machine isn't real either! All virtualized or software emulated

I'm really bad at putting things into words but the idea of software truly amazes me

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

OMG! I fucking hate it when people who have no idea about technology whatsoever have a conversation about some 'technical stuff' and I've got to listen to trash like:

A: "It's a wonder that all of this stuff actually works!"
B: "Yeah, I heard that it all connects over some kind of WAVES or something like that..."

FFS! I know you can't know everything, but please for the love of god ... just don't!

- Currently sitting on the train and cringing like a madman -

I could’ve cleaned it up but we all know desks aren’t naturally as clean as people make them for these types of photos...

Company that has tech != Tech company.

The amount of "Hey fellow programmers" I get from marketers of all people is cringeworthy. No amount of blockchain in your sentences will magically convince me you know anything about it.

I fucking hate the web guy.
He says - make a pop-up of the raw text you're receiving (in the app) so that I can test it easily while I fix it.
I did it.
Now he laughs and says - I think you searched for it and simply copied from wrong example. All you had to do was handle the text and parse it and display it blablabla instead of simply popping up the raw text.
Thank you I flipping KNOW all of that, you stuck up obnoxious frog. I did it that way initially and uploaded it coz you SAID so! Why do you ALWAYS have to talk like I know nothing!?

Hi all, just signed up and wanna let you know that you are all great. Didn't see any kind of hate or disrespect here at all, so thanks for being a great community:)

Of course I'd also like to get some opinions here. Tomorrow, I'll get my new PC and am wondering what Linux distros you are using and especially WHY it is your favorite..

I will mainly develop on it in C and Java and will most likely choose Debian, just because I'm used to it.

It's just sick how managers boast about how their programmers aren't getting sleep enough/at all due to nonstop coding.

That's not actually something to be proud of, CAUSE IT SHOWS HOW INEFFICIENT YOU ARE AT, I don't know... MANAGING?

Worst thing in IT you can do is pretend to know what you’re doing when you don’t.

All seems harmless until that person starts resolving git conflicts….. 💣💥

FUCK THE EU!

Ok I said it, what? Someone had too.

Can we all move on now?

Ps: if you made it this far, be sure to ++ for your angers and frustrations over the current articles we all know and hate.

Here is the problem.

We all make mistakes. It's part of our lives and we learn a lot from it.

But you motherfucker, acting like an all-knowing being amongst all the developers. You think no one knows better than you. You learned something 2 years ago and you think nothing has been updated after that.

You make a mistake, you accept it and learn from it. But if you think you know everything, stop asking me to review your code. Fuck you, cocksucker.

I work with junior developers, guiding them and teaching them on a daily basis.. my biggest pet peeve?
When they finish typing code and without testing it ask: "Is this right?"

HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW? Seriously! I don't know what all your specs are, maybe try running it before asking??

ffs.

Come on guys deep down we all know windows is best and we love it

Some people say they use dark themes because it looks cool, but we all know it's for when you're up late programming and don't want your eyes shot to pieces.

That's it. That's all I have for my home server setup. I don't even know why we have that sticky red thing, but today it came handy. And now I can SSH anytime I want, it's never going get shutdown 😂

You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?

Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.

We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all.

You know how cities hang all sorts of decorations wherever possible before Christmas? Well, it looks like people of Kekava, Latvia, are very big fans of Kotlin and find it's logo to be festive!

Good for them!

My security knowledge is so bad. But I don't know where should I start.😖
My coworkers know about this, so I don't get involved on related topics.🤤
Last time I asked same question, someone gave me link, and it all about DIY welding metal tubes into a security door.🤦‍♂️
Any better suggestion?

My Friend: putt all the code into one huge file
Me: hey, there is an issue
Friend: go fix it by yourself
Me: Where is it
Friend: Don't know
There weren't even comments 😡

Great error message. Now I know EXACTLY what to do in order to fix it. Thank you all over the place, Microsoft.

6 hours later, the call is suspended because all users went home. We can't recreate the issue anymore, but don't know that we fixed it vs not having enough people to recreate it.

Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.

I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.

I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.

Hate it when people call themselves a Web Backend developer and all they know is POST and GET method.😡

So recently I started swiping on Tinder again, after some years of staying away from it. Now that's all fine, right?

But there's another dating platform that I used long long ago, Zoosk. I didn't even know that I had an account on it anymore, and they've never reminded me of it either. But guess what got in my mailbox this morning.. 32 singles that you'll definitely like!

Now how does Zoosk know that I'm on dating sites again.. maybe Tinder? 🤔

You know what, Tinder wanketeers? Fuck you. Sharing my personal data like that. Shame on you!!!

Me: Overcommunicate…

Them: we don’t need that kind of detail. We all get it.

Me: Undercommunicate…

Them: why so quiet? Does he know what he is saying?

can’t fucking win 😡

All of my colleagues think that IT dept. know all the internet traffics.

Plot twist: we just have simple router without any log

If you ask me, you're a bad developer if you don't know hardware. You have to know how it all works and fits together to write code for it.

This compiles and works in C++:

int arr[10];

5[arr] = 42;

cout << 5[arr] << endl;

I know why it works technically. Its just pointer math. But I have to ask "Why?" Of all that is unholy, WHY?!

Today I started coding an encryption algorithm I'm calling Aepples (apples)!! I'll let all of you know how it goes!

I really miss putting on some headphones and getting shit done while listening to some rock.

I like pair programming, but doing it all the time is starting to feel exhausting. I need some "me" time, ya know?

You know a good way to handle all of the issues with W10 force updating your system? Do it yourself FFS!

You know there are updates. Windows has been telling you ...

Pick a damn time, start the update and go get a coffee, lunch, take a dump or go home for the day.

It's *never* going to be the right time if you don't choose it. It will always be an inconvenience or you'll be "in the middle of something important" and then you'll get all pissy about it.

Yeesh ...

Custom: yeah yeah yeah I don't care about all that technical crap, all I want to know is if it comes with Google...

Me: *Slams head on desk repeatably*

So, you may know this already...But fuck CNET once again! Don't get me wrong, even if I loved the auto-playing video ads I would still be angry af. The site loads with a decent layout at first, but then in a second it changes and all I get is a pile of shit broken because of some <sarcasm>really great</sarcasm> CSS.

P.S. Yeah, I know it's probably my ad blocker killing something that is vital for the site to keep it's shape, but I don't care about that at all. I'll never give it up. (Or let it down, for that matter)

Spent a week developing features, spending this day removing those features. Gotta love know it all bosses.

CEO: This project is of critical importance to us - anything you need at all to help make it happen swiftly, let us know and my team will be on it.

Hey, could you give us IntelliJ ultimate licences?

THAT IS A RIDICULOUS REQUEST DON'T YOU KNOW EVERY PENNY COUNTS HERE

Just wanted everyone to know that I did a find and replace all in my project and it actually worked as intended.

That's all.

Ok so I'm releasing (in about two weeks) a massive project that my self and other talented people have been working on for about 2 years.

I feel like I want to puke all the time now. God I hope it is okay. 🤢

I'll let you all know what it is if all goes well so I'm not embarrassed if it does not

Wish me luck😐

"I'm not very smart with computers"

Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!

And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...

Ability to learn and implement everything in just one day top!
So I want to be a know
-it-all.

I just want a coffee machine that is smart enough to know when I need coffee and then serves it on my desk.

(Also this coffee machine should automatically kill all annoying client's)

"Wait, we're logging all web traffic now?"
Me: You're the security engineer, you asked him to do it!
"I know but I didn't think he would actually do it!"

🙄😑

I think we all know who the Atlas really is.

I've had this feeling ever since I've started my IT career.

I don't know why, but each time I have the chance to create a caching system with redis to e.g. cache requests to APIs I get all excited about it.

You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL

I'm having that feeling right about now...

You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.

Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!

Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!

Not sure if this is necessarily a prank, but I was working on a team that was split in 2. We had a group of senior devs in one country, and junior devs in another (god only knows why, and yes I complained about this a lot).

The "lead" of the juniors was very stubborn and refused to adhere to the official standards, as his way was better.

I was working on an app with him, I was fed up with how badly the app was working, how hard it was to find files etc. So I waited for him to be off on holidays and pulled some extra hours to completely re-do the folder structure, rip out his persistence layer and a few other things.

When he came back he lost his shit and complained to the architect. The architect (also fed up with his shit) told him that we don't have the time to invest in reverting back everything, and loosing all the new features I added on top, especially since the app is now adhering to standards.

Never felt such satisfaction in my life.

The Return of Mr. Gitmaster:
So there is this colleague I already ranted about several times. After my previous team lead had confronted him about not doing much work, there was some irritation because he showed not up at work, but it turned out the external training he did was just a week earlier. Then he was ill a week, another week vacation so we didn't see him much. Not that his pre- or absence makes much difference to our repo: When his and my team lead looked at his commits of the past three months they found like the one copy-pasted HTML-form that wouldn't even show.
Fast forward to now, where we have a new team lead and we were going to lunch with Mr. gitmaster. So we got some more hero stories from the great work he was doing in the previous company. How he was graphically monitoring the heap fragmentation that stupid glibc was causing to their search engine, and how much better it became with tcmalloc.
I still don't understand how he bridges that cognitive dissonance from all the superior tech knowledge he displays to not actually writing any code at all. Not that I would not have experienced some states of feeling low, in paralysis unable to write a single line of code... but he seems so full of confidence, always commenting how trivial and easy all these tasks would be, as if it's all so lightyears below his abilities. Maybe he should just become a manager - but not mine.

We all know how powerful it is

How to tell this person nicely, to provide meaningful commit messages?

I know it took me probably for ever to learn it myself, and not all of them are meaningful, but come on ...

Well, I know you guys are tired of all the Hacktoberfest rants but I got mine this morning and I'm excited! Guess you gotta deal with it 😂😂😅

How the actual fuck are we expected to know this many languages / frameworks / libraries for a web dev interview? This shit is RIDICULOUS. No one can honestly say they're half proficient at any of this stuff if they have to know ALL of it. Is this the only way to get a job these days? This sucks balls! 

My coworker asked where his toolbar was.
I said I removed it for him because... you all probably know why
He literally slapped me and yelled at me.
I know going onto his computer was wrong but Jesus Christ no need to fucking slap me

For all those who post pictures of their screen taken with phone camera (and we all know how crappy that usually looks), there is something called Snipping Tool! As simple as it gets.. Use it ✂😉

I know we have a lot of talented people here. Piece of advice, what ever you build, believe in it. See it through. No matter how good of an idea incompleteness won't get you anywhere.
After all every other day we all analyze different successful products and say "huh... that's nothing. Even we can do that".
Well thats the difference "We" can do that, they DID it.

See your ideas through. Stay motivated =)

Shamless rant towards the shamless Cursey dude. 😫

So whole day I have been trying to pass a variable from laravel blade view to vue2 component file. All in seperate files. I know that I have successfully passed 1 or 0 in same flow before. So I was following the same steps to pass my string variable. It kept giving me undefined. No google helped and I had been doing all kinds of stupid useless trials. All failed.

Because it is supposed to fail. 😐
I only learned it at the end of the day.

All junior php developers must know about register_shutdown() function before going into developement ... it will save massive amount of debugging time ..

First thing, I love my colleague. I know him for 15 years and I'm under 30. But I freaking hate when he picks his nose FOR ALL THE DAY LONG and uses shared mouses and keyboards, leaving them unable to use. I have to clean all that mess and no matter what we say he still do it. :(

Do less development and more living. I’m tired of all of it. I need a career track change. I don’t know how anyone can keep up with all of it.

One of our politicians at the late-night-show

Q: who wrote La Traviata? Giuseppe or Verdi?
A: ummm.. Ammm.. Well.. *confused af*

Q: so do you know it or not?
A: I know it! I know. I know but I won't tell you. *in all the seriousness*

[true story]

somehow reminds me of IT guys who pretend to know everything just to look cool :)

Why do all developers that seem to know their stuff drinks, smokes or both? Is it some sort of a trade secret?

Oh, the requirements completely changed? That's cool. I'll just place all my work over here in this pile with the Sega Saturn, zune, and the batman vs superman movie... you know the "it could have been glorious, but it turned out to be complete garbage" pile

When you know the whole week's weather forecast w/o even looking at it, because your neighbours above you are aged people and when they read it out *loud* you can hear it all sooo clearly...

Boy do I want my own house....

You know your idea was shit when....

You see it on devrant as the subject of someone's all caps, swear word filled rant...

You know what really grinds my gears? HTML.

Specifically the fact that browsers report no errors at all when it comes to HTML. They just try their best to render what they're given and if you get unexpected results? Fuck you.

Ignore the code I know it's really basic but I didn't have my flash drive that has all my projects on it so enjoy the meme

Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.

I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.

And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.

Oh no.

I just wanted you all to know I am reading Learn C the Hard Way and I’m throughly enjoying it.

My Grandma: Go with your aunt to help her buy a refrigerator.
Me: But I don't know anything about refrigerator
My Grandma: But you spend all your time on computer, and it is just technology
Me: But its not the same thing at all
My Grandma: And I thought you were smart

Me: 😑

Closing a bug with "Let me know if it's still happening for you" when it's been three years since the bug was filed and you haven't looked at it at all since then be all like...

That one dude that claimed to know it all but when asked any questions he didn't know shit.

I think we've all seen a dude like this.

When all you want to do at the beach is dig a mine, you know it is time to lay off Minecraft...

Am I the only one who doesn't know where foo bar came from? I see it all the time but have no clue :/

In horror movies. Characters do things that they them-self know it could kill them. Like getting in basement.

As a developer we all know to never deploy code on Friday. Here we are taking the wrong turn.

I am right and you're wrong.

Aka: Living in a yin / yang (black n white) bubble.

If you're unable to adapt because the only perspective that matters is your own small little universe, then you shouldn't be a dev.

As a dev, you'll have to accept that you cannot know it all. There will be smarter people and there will be things that you won't understand.

It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to not know it all.

So, I'm 100% sure that in a year I'll look back at today and ask why I thought it was a good idea to implement a feature this way.

Looks good to me today, that's all I know. I'm done ✅

Tried to learn react.

Setting it up took me hours.

And I still don't know what I'm doing at all!

Although it's still freezing here (0C) finally some nice sunlight... so finally took a moment to take it all in.

Even with all the "problems" and stress I've been feeling the last few weeks, just looking around now, my only thought is "You know what? Life ain't so bad..."

My biggest dev ambition? "Outliving" the pointy-hair bosses, monday morning quarterbacks, and the know-it-alls-and-do-nothings.

So far, I am seeing my ambitions fulfilled. The last know-it-all-do-nothing dev was fired a couple of months ago and its been really nice around here.

"Listen to your client, take into consideration all of their input, weigh the options, study the details, know the target audience, and then, if necessary, ignore all of it and design what you think will work best." - Von R. Glitschka

!Rant
The feeling of finally understanding and feeling you have learned something new.

To all those still stuggling with something they don't understand... Keep on going and let it take some time, you will solve it, I know it!💪🏻

New macbook pro has no usb ports , that's apple way of saying "fuck all developers" . That is such a dick move , also the shitty butterfly keyboard i don't know if any developer will like it , any thoughts?

There is a colleague of mine who is loud, arrogant and thinks he knows it all. Except when I worked closely with him turned out he doesn't know shit. And he has been in the industry for over a decade! Why the fuck was he hired, I don't know..

How would you all suggest preparing for technical interviews? What has worked for you? What hasn't? I know it varies by person and company but I'd love to hear your experiences!

We all know that scumbag test that sporadically decides to fail. Simply running it again makes it pass.

Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?

Other: But why, what's the problem?

Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@

!dev

Had to cancel the pavilion reservation for a local park today... Had reserved it for my son's 6th birthday party. This is what made it finally all hit me. I'm not doing ok today.

Try to be excellent to all those you talk to, even users. You never know how they're doing at the moment.

I'd say it was when I did a Codereview and the dev said that he doesn't really know how the code works and he doesn't quite know what it's purpose is supposed to be.
We are talking about less then 200 lines, all written by himself, this is not copied code.

I know people have mixed feelings about Uncle Bob and I really never followed the guy at all, but back in college I found his book Clean Code on a shelf and read it cover to cover. A lot of it really stuck with me. In fact, I might dig it up again now that I'm thinking about it.

I'm writing a book that teaches everything I have learned in the past 20 years about writing small niche software and selling it.

Need some help from my fellow DevRanters.
Anyone who comments here with something constructive gets a free copy when it's done.

When I say:
"Why don't you just write your own software and sell it to end users"

What is the first thing that pops into your head?

Is it "I don't know how to advertise"
or
"that's a pipe dream"
or
"I tried starting my own business, but _______"
or
"I am doing that, i have this side project "
(how long have you spent on that side project?)

I need to know all your concerns questions fears, skepticism etc around the idea of writing your OWN software.

After 20 years I have like, so much knowledge, but it's sometimes hard to get it all out, UNLESS someone has a question or concern, then, out it comes.

So, I'm going to (hopefully) collect all the questions here ... and answer them, and it'll help me out a lot to extract this knowledge.

A lot of stuff I do without even thinking and realizing all the years it took to even know that.

What would you like to know the most?

You have the skills, you have the know how, you can probably see it in your head, so what's stopping you from making the leap?

I go to the reddit programmers pages, here, the holy stackoverflow and github and it seems like everyone has 2 or 3 languages they know and love... Then i look at job applications and those fuckees want you to know several fluently... :/ ready to uninstall all IDEs

Don't know.

All I know is that I suck at calculus but I write good code.
Weird.

If I would have to decide, early on I wrote random stuff 'til it worked.
Then I attempted to comprehend what I just did and started reading books.

That's probably when I first understood what I was doing.

It works locally, it works in Dev, it works in Test, but fails to deploy in UAT. Is it a data issue? I don't know, I don't have permissions to see the UAT database. Literally all I know is that this API is returning 500 instead of what it's supposed to return, but only sometimes.

Guess I'll sit here all day and try to solve the problem telepathically as there is literally no way of troubleshooting other than scrolling through the code and hoping that a cartoon lightbulb appears above my head.

That time when I wowed all my colleagues with C++-code that executed over 2.5x faster than theirs, without changing one line of code.

I guess they didn't know what -O2 does (or that it exists, for that matter).

Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?

Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?

But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡

Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.

Late I know. But I just thought of it.

[DISCLAIMER : Potential Troll Topic here] I am self taught python and js (not considering myself as a real developer as I don't push much on github and work in a complete other field than anything related to CS right now) and would be interested to learn another language, with another paradigm. So, as I love you all, I would be interested In your highlights as I am currently considering either C, C++, Rust or Go.

with C, I know I could interface it with python. With C++ (despite Linus considering it evil) I know I could interface it with Node. I don't know currently what to do with Go, but some people seem really enthusiastic about it (not really relevant I know) and Rust seems like the C of today, with a bunch of new cool kid stuff. My main goal, after all, is to learn something new, to have another sight on programming. Either understanding more about hardware or learning another way of coding (like different from oop).

I know it sounds like a troll, but I promise it's not, just a serious genuine question (hopefully it won't be closed here like on SO)

So what do you think devranters ?

Being eternally grateful to all of you, I wish you a good night.

Asus does not know how to implement a button that is also a fingerprint scanner,my phone keeps closing all apps cuz my fingers are sweaty(the button isnt actually clickable it just senses...My sweat smh)

it kills when people say dual boot Linux with Windows. I know how painful it is. as people who like to install Linux just pray why doesn't Linux supports it all. because all they want to do is use Linux full time. 😑😖😭

So, in a school project we use BaseCamp for project management.
When discussing about using it I was about to say that I know the guy who built it - but then I remembered he was just in the devRant podcast and I actually don't know him at all!

Got the newest update for Emojis and I was scrolling through them, and what do you know? This one popped up. All I can think of was "Devrant did it first"

A guy I work with on some projects is a know it all. when I ask him to get something done he drags his feet on it and instead keeps telling me about the "cool" things he did

Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.

"You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." - Andy Warhol

I can follow and am fine with the Vue documentation. I go crazy when I read online tutorials. I don't know webpack. I don't know ES6. I don't know nodejs. Arrghhh.

It is like all of a sudden I'm thrown into an English speaking courtroom as a lawyer or into a bunch of Brits.

Amazing how a giant cloud service like AWS can go down. It feels like the whole cloud is so fragile. All of a sudden it will rain and everything we know of will vanish.

When scrum master/agile coach sais "I know, I used to be a developer myself." ....

Do they think it makes me trust them and drop my point?

Honestly all I think is "well, plenty of bad devs out there, and there's a reason you'r not doing it anymore"

What kind of facts should every person know? I mean in todays modern world some ppl live so deep with heads up their asses that they dont even know how many continents in the world there are.

And sadly it makes sense, who needs all that data in their head when the info is one google search away?

I myself cant retain facts of real world at all. Recently went to some quiz competition and felt stupid af.

On the other hand all these ppl who know a lot about world usually have shit retail jobs. So is knowing more facts than white collar professional some weird mental flex?

It's like I know staying up all night is gonna kill me the next day, and I do it anyways... and now it's the next day. Fml 😫

Don't know what it says, all I know is Ubuntu time is now!!

@linuxxx
Can you do a security / privacy check for ProtonVPN? All I know is that it is Switzerland based and pretty much secure.

Java Vs. C++
Ok, so I know a bit of Java, still lots to learn but isn't there always! My question to all you poly-linguist programmers is; once you know the basics of OOP are there any obvious hurdles in learning new languages? For instance - do you sometimes accidentally use some Java in C++? Would you all advise to stick to one language and learn it to genius level or does it make you a better programmer to understand a multitude of languages?
<Learning Rant>

Thought I'd see what all you guys from across the pond are raving on about with Silicon Valley. It's not a tv show that anyone I know, including my dev colleagues, talk about. Suffice to say I'll definitely be recommending it to every geek I know.

Sometimes I feel I should switch to android from web even though I don't know anything about it but just feels that it's interesting morebthen web.

But then again I have those thoughts that jack of all and king of nothing is pretty hurtful in career building. Isn't it?

Rip facebook apps.
Today at first it kicked me out of all my sessions, then I couldn't send pics in the messenger, then I couldn't accept new members for a group, now I can't even comment.
I wish I could know know who fucked up what :D

Working 40 hours per week while doing freelancer stuff and now a fking masters degree due september this year. How do you guys manage it? I dont know if I could do it all... Fuck it

There should be dev equivalent to the expression "tip of my tongue". You know, when you're trying to implement a feature or fix a bug and you have a fuzzy idea of how to do it and only missing the final piece to put all of it together.

As we all know(or suppose) that Google is silently listening to us, is there any way to stop him without covering the microphone physically (I know it can be a suggestion)?

Like some trustable app to take the mic permissions so that Google will not be able to use that resource, or something else.

If you have two keyboard layouts installed, English and Russian, and you’re trying to type “dev” but end up typing in Russian layout, it comes out as “вум”, literally “fem”.

All developers are secretly female even if they don’t know it yet

Illuminati confirmed heartbleed can’t melt ARM cores

I don't know if it's just me but if you sign up for Dashpass and then cancel during the month, it refunds the entire subscription...

Even when I've used all the benefits...

Seems like the devs forgot an if statement...

I HATE it when client does not know what he wants. Removed a functionality only to be added back again with all the ripples going through the code¡¡¡¡¡

ARGH¡¡¡¡¡¡ FUCK ME

Where's my exclamation mark u shitty SwiftKey keyboard¿¿¿¿

my company believes microsoft dynamics crm is the solution to all enterprise problems and they have used crm to build all manner of stuff it wasn't meant for. now we have bugs when users perform the slightest tasks..when people who dont know shit make tech decisions it always goes down south.

Right after breaking my camera lens, my brother again broke my precious favorite mouse. I don't know what to do about it. After all, he is my brother.

me, testing my software:

"ok, well it works for this case.. let me make a spreadsheet of all cases and test them one by one"

*doesn't create spreadsheet

*3 use cases later..

"Ah, you know what, this seems fine, I didn't change too much...............................
...........................................................
..........................
...............
.... it should be ok"

*cough*

you know what happens from here.

The more I learn frontend the more I like it. Imagine, actually becoming good at something makes you hate it less! I know, I know, I was shocked too.

Completely unrelated question:
if you have all the mods for the factors of a product, is it possible to derive the factors from the modulus?

(lol you know what this is about).

The product "fingerprinting" I talked about a while back is starting to allow me to find the modulus of factors, and I want to know what I can do with that if anything.

I once worked at a really messy project that is best described as one gigant big bug. The CEO asked me how long it would take to fix it. At that point nobody knew since the code was a mess and new directives came all the time. So I answered that I sincerely didn't know. He responded angered with "How couldn't you know. When I read a book I know exactly how long it takes."... I quit

I don’t give a fuck about crypto currency, bitcoin and all the shit. I don’t even want to know how it works.

I’m an arrogant or dumb ??

Roast me.

Final year of my diploma in Information Tech, I overhear a coursemate, well-known know-it-all, explaining what Javascript is:
"It's somewhat like Java but it's used for scripting purposes."
I swear to the Lord Almighty, I wish I could drive my palm through my face.

is it just me or do people with a CS degree know way less than those who don't have a degree at all?

Do you know why my mom likes me so much?

Because my mom asked me to heat up all the food. And I did it in O(1).

An AI that's sole purpose is to teach us what we don't know or something we missed by combing the Internet and putting all the information together. For example, it should be able to figure out the most efficient way to launch a rocket based on everything we know already

The only difference between a beginner dev and a veteran dev is that the beginner is afraid to touch what he doesn't know, while the veteran embraces it.

Accept that you don't know all and will never know everything. Even so, learn something new everyday. Fight your ego when it tries to make you keep only what you know and reject everything else. Fight that bastard.

The world needs less "I know", and more "I wanna know". And remember, devs should be in the "I wanna know" team.

sudo rm - rf ego
sudo apt-get knowledge-upgrade

Everyone should at least know a bit of coding, especially markup languages. God dam looking at good GUIs when all of yours look like youve made it in paint is amazing. 😂😂

So I'm gonna be honest. I dont know git. I do plan on learning it but I'm waiting to learn how to use it. But I'm seeing all this stuff about it on here could someone explain what it is and its function?

!rant

So my friend has this idea. I don't know much about it, but from what I do know, it sounds pretty cool and I want to know what you all think.

Basically, it's an ide on the web, that has integration for multiple languages. He wants it to make codeling quicker and more accessible, and it would also allow the poor students who have to deal with shitty school chromebooks to code.

/dev/null is like a black hole. You know it exists, but you cannot communicate with it. It has no output, only input. It swallows all data it can possibly get and nobody knows what it looks inside.

You know what's worse than being stumped on a very precise development problem? Typing out all the keywords for the problem into a search engine, pressing F5 to "run" your search out of habit then needing to type it all out again when the page finishes reloading...

I dont know how to timeline projects. I tell clients that it will be ready in one month. But the project will be so big that it takes lot of time to actually code it and do all the procedures around it. I m just giving them timeline based on the speed of my mind.

Are automatically configured antivirus tools simply shit or is it IT , who obviously does not know what their software does?

* AV blocks parts of my dev tools
* Ticket to IT
* Result: AV blocks all my dev tools

Okay ... thanks?

Is it bad that even though I am doing computer science in college I still feel like I am missing a lot of knowledge? Like I’ll come out of college without knowing things that people with information technology will know or things that people with computer engineering will know.

I feel like all the job descriptions out there want me to be a combination of CS, IT and CE.

Does anyone know a semi decent printer available in Germany/Europe, for personal use that doesn't you a kidney and won't break after 7 months??

They're all so god damn awful it makes me want to pull my hair out.

!rant
You know you achieved some great dev and had a great idea when someone says "Yeah! I use it all the time look! It does everything for me"

Just wanted to share some very welcome appreciation!

Does anyone actually fucking know how certs and provisioning profiles work for large iOS teams without using the cancerous auto provision checkbox? Are we all just fucking it up all the time??

Someone is trying to get into my shit. Mail Accounts and my phone is receiving lots of. Spam calls and phishing messages...

Fucking bastards..

We all get phishing shit but if it’s targeted it makes me feel awkward..

Little fucking bastards.. I think I even know who it is.. that useless piece of junk that got fired because of my honest feedback. Not many others know my current nr, emails etc..

Knowing SQL does not mean knowing all the existing technologies that uses SQL, motherfucker! Stop bragging around that you know Postgres, SQL Server, Oracle and shit.

IT is full of shit talkers and ego, NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Him/Her/It/She/They bullshit!!!
We all know what you are, we are not blind. Get over the public self jerking.

Being told to continuously restart a server over the weekend while someone's API script kept crashing the server. Yes, they knew it was doing it. No, they "claimed" they didn't know how to slow down the amount of new API sessions. I avoided all their requests after that.

A pure r&d project! Get to try out all the cool new things. Yes I know it will probably be out of date by the end of my first day! One can only dream! 😉

Boss: Ready for deployment?
Me: No, there's still a few bugs.
Boss: let me know when they are fixed!
(Goes back to desk, runs without any issues)
Me: It all finished.
Boss: Wow how did you fix it so fast.
Me: I have no idea.

I honestly feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Actually, I don't know what I'm doing. From when I used to code to now being a solutions architect. I still Google a lot of things, I forget the stuff I've learnt/know. I feel like there's something that keeps on grabbing all the information I try to store in my brain and chucking it out.

When you think you finally know a programming language really well but then you start a project and want to do it all on your own but you dont even know what to do... so basically I'm dependant on tutorials and Google.. until I am good enough to do it on my own..

Hey, go and buy yourself a good flash drive. Usb 3.2, SanDisk with the mechanism of an automatic switchblade, you know, all the good stuff. You deserve it.

goddammit my 3DS' shell is flaking hard

anyone know how i could just pull all the red plastic shit off it so i can paint it?

People need to drive fucking less all over !
The air quality sucks !
No wonder these things are aging so rapidly I spent most of my life in the mountains and didn't even know it !

When you get tickets assigned to you, does it have all the requirements & acceptance criteria? I don't, and it's seriously difficult to know when you've finished a piece for work

Damn you OVH... You and your goddamn deals again... Now I ended up buying 2 domains for a project again. We all know I'll leave the domain in my cloudflare "keychain" without using it until it expires, because I'll find a fancier and more fun project 😅

I'm at 12 domains right now... I think I might be addicted 🤔

Btw, theres a sick deal going on over at OVH, .com is only 1,20€... Better get your project domain which you'll probably never use again now 😂

!Rant Does anyone else find it sad that the more you know about coding ,the less it all feels like magic ? I remember times i often stumbled upon websites that felt so smart, as if they where magical. Now best i can say is that they are neatly programmed. But the magic disappeared once i understood the logic behind it all. Anyone else?

Hope everyone had a chill and relaxed day. I know I did. Sun was nice. People at work were so easy going. Didn't have a segfault all day.

Was to be expected. It was 4/20 all day.

As a developer you're expected to perform all sorts of tasks that don't necessarily involve any coding or development at all. "A web form in Drupal? Uhm, it's got something to do with the web, right? Yeah, let's dump it on 'IT'."
So now I've been given this most frustrating task to use some form engine in Drupal. I have no access to the PHP code itself, and I don't even know what this form engine is called. All I know it's the crappiest of crap. The more I use it the more I hate it.

Ever look at someone’s PR in your project repo, remember that you dislike that person because they think they know it all, give it a few seconds, and say fuck it and completely ignore the fact that they submitted that PR?

THEY WOULD OF THOUGHT.

Look... As much as I want to believe this... We all know it won't happen...

The tie between iOS and the in house ARM chips is something you can't replicate with just a new piece of hardware...

Anyone know of OSSU? It seems cool, but I don't know anyone that has any experience with it. Would be doing it part time to fill all the gaps of my self learning journey