A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.

So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.

Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.

Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.

Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.

Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.

Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.

Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.

Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".

FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.

Adventures will be continued.

Being 100% serious, I saw a guy in my Computer Programming I class using MS Word to write code that he would copy, then paste into notepad. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "Microsoft Word is easier to read than notepad."

He ended up dropping the class and changed majors.

Substitute Teacher who apparently majors in Java sees my copy.
T - Your programs are incomplete
M - You mean ?
T - Where are the braces ?
M - Its Python
T - It works ?
M - Yes
T - It works on linux ?
M - Yes -_-

This story is 100% true.

I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.

The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”

So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”

So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.

Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…

After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.

Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.

It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.

The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.

I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.

Girlfriend (art student): “You’re in CS. Why don’t you use Windows? Macs are terrible for programming.”

Me: “macOS is better for doing command line compilation and shit because it supports Unix terminal commands and stuff with a reliable OS that’s better-supported than most Linux OSes. I also have Windows on my laptop too, for Visual Studio.”

Girlfriend: “Only like 1% of people use command line stuff. Windows is better for programming. I’ve seen a lot of CS majors use Windows.”

Me: “Uh. You watch me use my computer every day. The stuff I do in Terminal takes forever on Windows.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, but Windows is just better for programming though.”

Help.

do math majors graduate with degrees or
radians?

Computer Science is probably the only major where if you suck at it and end up dropping out, you're more likely to be a leader than someone who is good at it and sticks with it.

There were roughly 200 people in my freshman class majoring in CS, by my sophomore year that number had dropped to about 120. A lot of people dropped out because it was too damn difficult for them, and they switched to less technical majors like "Business Information Technology" or "Management Information Systems." Almost without exception, the people who dropped out are now managing teams of developers, they actually have programmers reporting to them. Seriously, WTF?

This isn't even the worst of it, there are people who majored in art history who are now "product managers," who take the word "manager" in their job title literally, they think they're above developers. Some of them will even profess with no small amount of pride that they "know nothing about technology." You can hear the pride in their voice when they say it, as if they're saying "I'm a lot of things, but at least I'm not a geek." Is there any other field of study where people boast with such pride that they know nothing about it? I mean, very few people will say "I know nothing about history" or "I know nothing about literature", and if they do say it, they'll say it with a bit of humility. When it comes to Computer Science though, knowing nothing about it is almost a badge of honor.

Rant the f**k over.

So many people are applying for computer science majors that it's making me nervous.

My classmates don't know shit about tech yet almost all of them are applying for CS. It's even the most popular ranked major in the US.

I don't think I stand a chance against them. They all have higher GPAs than me, and they participate in clubs and sports.

If those cave people get accepted I'm not going to be too happy about it.

During teacher office hours a few years back: if you have questions on your homework, maybe it's too hard and you should switch majors to something easier, many girls do, so there's no shame in it.

I had asked for verification that my standard deviation logic was correct before spending the time coding it and then figuring out what was wrong.

Ps- he's no longer employed by the school for other sexist reasons.

So I got a call from a school friend today.

I'm currently doing majors in Computer science and I hadn't talked to her since high school.

She: "Hi! How are you?"
Me: "Hey, I'm great! How are you?"

It's really difficult to talk to someone after 2-3 years, considering you didn't talk much in school also.

She: "I'm great too!"
Me: "So what's up?"

She: "Listen, my friend lost her iPhone today. Cab you help us in retrieving it?"

Me: *hangs up*

Bittersweet moment today, the interns last day was today, the improvements they made over the last 4 months, putting up with my “Gordon Ramsey” style attitude... definitely goes down in the books as one of best groups of freshman interns. They all truly thanked me for what they learned I sat them down and did a code review with them... but fooled them and showed them code they wrote 4 months ago.. they totally forgot about.. and couldn’t believe it was their own code.. that’s the level professionalism and improvement they made writing embedded software in 4 months.. they can’t wait to for next summer, neither can I.
Even had some of the electrical interns asking our department manager if they could switch to more software focused during their next rotation. Just so they can be under me.
I may be hard and a dick at time... but they learn! And it says a lot when you have college students impacted enough and see other students benefit so much that the “outsiders” wanna switch majors or focuses.!

Good luck on finals to all CS majors!

Employers now looking for History majors to fill critical COBOL "developer" positions.

This is what I hear from the freshmen CS majors who think they know more than me.

I have nothing wrong with being frequently asked what I am majoring in. However, I am going for COMPUTER SCIENCE not FUCKING IT. Please for the love of fuck stop suggesting I try to get a job with some shitty company as an IT guy. I have no interest in being an IT guy. I want to fucking code shit, not fix your shit and help you do basic shit that you're too fucking incompetent to figure out.

How can business majors be so gullible?! Who the fuck poisoned their minds with the app hype ?!!

Seriously my tears are 90% from laughter and 10% shame for humanity.

Friend: "Dude I'd like to consult with you the idea of an app...etc"
Me: "Sounds nice, got a business plan?"
Friend: "Yes, but well...you see... development has already started"
Me: "oh cool, how's that going?"
Friend: "well I already made an upfront payment of 2K dollars"
Me: "sounds kind of excessive for the amount of work...wait did you said upfront payment?"
Friend: "yeah, we calculated 30k total"

😐

Me:"umm...that software must be...special...? Can I see it?"
Friend: "that's the thing, they haven't delivered"
Me: " did they give you mockups? A development plan? Demo? Anything?"
Friend: "umm no"
Me: "a god damn receipt?"
Friend shows me a piece of paper with the name of the guy and 2K written on it.
Friend: "he says he's been busy, I wanted your advice"

I blame Eduardo Saverin's fate and my friend's on college's failure to teach "real world assholes 101"

Tried a mobile app club this semester and the second meeting they brought in these two business majors who said they had an idea for an app that would share videos of college parties and the videos would disappear after 24 hours. You could also invite people to the parties as well.

I was like so you basically want snapchat... what happens when cops create accounts and fine people for under age drinking? How will you get market share over snapchat or vine? How much money are you offering?

They were not pleased...

This is going to take a second to get dev related, please bear with me.

So, I'm from a pretty small (and poor) town. Like most small towns, not many give a damn about computer science/IT (that shows by the fact I'm the only CS major. And there's one IT major).

Now, my high school offers a few "career prep" classes. There's (no exaggeration) almost 5 or 6 classes for medical majors to prepare themselves; like 4 different agriculture based classes; 2 business major classes; and surprise surprise...not a damn Computer Science or IT class.

Yes, we have a computer class. But can you even call a "How to Use Microscoft Products" class an computer class? Finally by my senior year, I got pissed off by this.

I had/have relatives that have worked/are working in the school system, so it wasn't hard to get a meeting with the superintendent and the assistant superintendent to discuss my thoughts. They were both open to and even supported my ideas. But due to funding, it wasn't a feasible idea at the time. (Especially since not many care about CS or IT.)

This is where I get really really pissed off. Being that the town is small, the people with money/a name tend to control things. So, a former principal retired with the expectations to work in another county. However, this job fail through. But there was a "magical" opening for a job that didn't exist before this job fail through.

This pisses me off. We can create a job for someone and afford a full time salary for them, but we cant get an actual CS class. (And this isn't the first time a job was created for someone.)

Give students opportunities to create beyond the course requirements. Think hackathons, clubs, department projects, etc. So many cs majors don’t do anything beyond schoolwork.

When they knew that you have IT/CS majors:

Others: "Can you hack my GF/BF facebook account?"
Me: 🙄

Every single time! 😑

You see business majors who don't know each other and are all talking to each other, but then you see computer science majors ...

> be me
> studying 1.5 years liberal arts stuff and general education class at community college
> transfer to a 4 year university.
> realize I need a major
> Realize I also I wanted to 9ne day have a family.
> realize family would need money
> "struggling actor" not a great choice
> pray about what I should be doing
> get distinct impression that instead of attending the session on majors at the college of fine and performance arts to go to session with the college of Science and engineering.
> hear pitch for computer science.
> signup for introduction to programming taught with c++.
> A couple semesters down the line take 3 classes all at once Discrete Math 1, Linear Algebra, and database design and administration.
> around week 6 realize that all 3 classes revolved around sets and set logic and set math.
> realize rdbs's are "applied" set math and that Each class a little more "applied" than the former.
> Be genius at SQL and set math
> havereally smart database teacher mentored me
> get introduced to the recruiter at the career fair.
> get interviews
> get flown out for 2md interview
> get internship
> do work, and get project back under budget
> a job offer
> finish senior year
> start as a "real" developer supporting business data and analytics.
> ???
> profit.

Scrum is a scam to create more jobs for business majors.

Hate my fucking ‘Logic’ class. Teaching us if, or, and, etc statements and when something is true or false so far. Fair enough, part of logic. But fucking 6 classes on the same topic, isn’t helpful. Especially since it feels like the same shit I learnt myself when I was 13 and a junior in High School.

People are all surprised at it, even the Computer Science majors. This shouldn’t be a shock to you on how these statements work if you’ve coded for a few minutes in the University. You should’ve learnt it in your first programming class.

Ugh, just how I feel about this class. Have to take it to get my degree, otherwise I would’ve dropped it by now >.> Waste of time and money for me.

CS majors be like:

"She got a big theta, so I call her big Oh."

Funny story: Me and my dev friend once had a hard time setting up a PS3 controller even though we were two CS majors

this year, for the first year ever, computer science majors were invited to the engineering banquet

Why do my fellow computer science majors feel the need to express how intelligent and informed they are to the professor in the middle of class? Why must they be so oblivious to how cringey it is to so blatantly enjoy hearing themselves talk? Participation is one thing, self assertion is another.

My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.

One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.

GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

Being victim of an arbitrary worplace's culture on dev experience and documentation makes me a very frustrated dev.

Often I do want to document, and by that, I don't mean laying an inline comment that is exactly the function's name, I mean going full technical writer on steroids. I can and WILL get very verbose, yes, explaining every single way you can use a service - no matter how self explanatory the code might look.
I know developers (and me included) can, and sometimes will, write the best variable and function names at the time, wondering if they reached the peak of clean, DRY code that would make Robert Martin have a seizure and piss himself, only to find weeks later after working on something else that their work is unreadable. Of course.
I know the doc's public, it's me, and I've done this.

But then again explain for the people in the back how the FUUUUCK are we meant to suggest improvements, when we are not the ones who are prioritising features and shit WITH the business?

Just email me when the fucking team recycles, and no new team member knows how to even setup the IDEs because this huge piece of monumental shit called CompanyTM is also run by VPN. Fuck, no one wants to access that garbage, you have no docs.

I once tried setting up a culture for documentation. I did an herculean amount of work studying what solutions were internally homologated, how steep the learning curve would be from what we had at the moment (NOTHING, WE HAD FUCKING NOTHING, jesus christ, I even interviewed SEVENTEEN other squads to PROVE they FUCKING NEED
DOCS
TO WORK

You know what happened to that effort?
It had a few "clap" reactions on a Teams meeting and it never reached the kanban.
It didn't even made it to backlog.

I honestly hope that, someday, an alien fenomenon affects the whole company, making their memories completely reset, only to have the first one - after the whole public ordeal on why our brains became milkshake -, to say: "oh, boy, I wish we had documented this".
Then I will bring them to the back and shoot them.

My ideal Saturday night is a few (or a lot of) beers and a room full of comp sci majors arguing about hypothetical sorting methods and their theoretical complexities.

Is it weird that I'm doing Electrical and Electronic Engineering but I HATE it and love programming? I know I should find a balance between the two but I just can't seem to. The worst part is that the syllabus hasn't been updated for eons so we are learning about outdated technologies. Ooh, and you can't declare majors until like the final year, I think. I could quit but it would break my parents' hearts, and we are not rich enough to afford a self-sponsored CS course. The worst part is that I'm not even a good programmer, I'm trying so hard to balance the two that I end up not being good at any.

So I've recently got into college after programming for years by myself like many guys here, the thing is I was expecting to find some guys like me so maybe we could start some project or something like that but oh boy, freshman software engineer students are the "best": Don't give a fuck about coding. Most of them are gamers who think that just because they're gamers they can make a videogame (hahaha) and the worst part is that the only student of them who already have a lot of experience in programming is so fucking arrogant and annoying that I'd rather change majors before doing a project with him.

There are two other guys who are also really interested in programming and one of them already have quite a lot of experience too but they're on different majors...

College being disappointment since the first month: Check

Warn: long rant is long

So for the past couple of weeks I've been frustrated/confused over my thesis course with the kids gloves the professor gave us. This week I found out that in actuality this class isn't just for the IT majors, but a mix of Software Engineering majors, IT majors with minors in the SE department (me), and Information System majors who do product management but don't know much about coding anything.

As a result, we have this really strange set of discussions going on where on one hand we have the professor giving the okay to students making a website in !!Wix because they don't know much about HTML and CSS, to students like me busting ass to get a Java/MongoDB/Bootstrap web application off the ground from scratch.

I'm not as nearly upset as a I was, but it's still a really bizarre thing to lump these two departments together and getting it all coherent. The SE and IT majors is a much easier fit as there's so much overlap between the two that it's next to impossible to see any difference, it's the IS majors who are off in their own little world.

One thing is relieving to me from all this. I've realized I didn't need to major in Software Engineering to become a competent software engineer. It's amazing what one can self teach in 2 years to get the equivalent knowledge and skill sets. In the end this makes it all up for when I dropped out Computer Science in my mid 20's.

It's jaw dropping to me how much my perception of the education system for STEM has changed from when I was freshman to being a senior.

My fellow devs, appreciate what you have right now, even if it doesn't seem that great. I've recently switched majors from Bioinformatics to Medicine and I wouldn't say I regret it, but I do certainly doubt this decision sometimes. While studying Bioinformatics, I was always really interested in the biological part, often wanting to learn more about medical topics and such, thinking if I did switch, I could always keep programming as a hobby. Now I did switch and I miss being in a professional CS field so much. Medicine is great, but the people who study are mentally completely different from people that code. I still code small projects on the side, but don't really have anyone to talk to about them and I'm even starting to regret not paying more attention in linear algebra. I miss linear algebra, think about how ridiculous that is haha. Anyways, if you are looking forward to a major change in your life, it might not be all that you think it will be. So look at your current situation, it might be what you wanted all along.
Thanks for listening.
.
.
.
Also it is incredible, how technologically incompetent most medical students are lol

Some of my fellow comp sci majors, while very nice and friendly, are completely socially oblivious. It's cringey but I try to bite the bullet and interact with them normally, even when uncomfortable to do so, but man do I wish they could catch a hint.

I got admitted into University a few weeks back, unfortunately Universities in my country dose not allow students to take CSE unless they have maths and physics in their A levels even though I had computer science in my A levels and did a lot better than my friends who had maths and physics. I asked them if there was any way I could change my major and they said no. So unfortunately i have to study management information system now and that's the closest subject i could find related to computers the i was allowed. I envied all the students I met there since all of them were studying computer science and they didn't even know how to code . These are the very students who change their major from CSE to BBA . The education system in my country is fucked up ;-; . But that isn't going to stop me from coding right now I started learning java and after I'm done with that i plan on starting to learn lua. Anyways I'm planning on giving another A levels on maths which I'm really bad at lol. Also I don't really know much about management information system i just went with it because all the other BBA majors seemed boring to me and I was too bummed out to research on the subject.Anyways wanted to ask if it is possible to get a job as a developer if you're self taught in South Asian countries?

I feel like I am not CS major.

I doble major'ed on 3rd year, so don't have deep knowledge like other 'real' CS majors.

Guys...watch the cppcon21 keynotes.
That is good stuff.

The insights and ideas in these talks are not just for c++. They apply to CS in general.

The presenters have done a phenomenal job with the content. There is a good deal of philosophy for what it means to code and how it should look like (not specifically in c++). Most of it is distilled insights collated right from the times when computer science was a domain of mathematicians and ee majors to the modern age.
It is like Dr.Dobbs but in video. Even book like. Certainly very dense.

When I was attending my last year CS at uni I was approached by a startup that was funded by my uni.
It was the usual clusterfuck, an app idea that two business majors came up with. The idea was ok, but they had no coding experience. I was supposed to to set up everything and they told me that they might pay me with stocks.
(When they tell you they MIGHT pay you, you know its fucking bad)
There was so many red flags at this point so I told myself there is no way in hell I would do jackshit for them.
So I played along for a while, just so I could use them as a reference when I applied for a real job, and it actually worked.
Sometimes I go and look at the domain just to see where they ended up.
They didnt get past the index page.

I am considering which CS elective to register for this coming semester, and I am not happy with many of the choices. Basically, I can choose between Android programming, a web programming class in the grad school, and maybe Linear Algebra for CS majors class. I am trying to figure out what is worthwhile to take in college, and what I can learn on my own. Advisor thinks I should take a web class, because it's important to know, but I am not too into web and I feel like I can just learn that on my own. I would rather take a class that will help me understand how things work, rather than just how to use a specific technology. What do you guys think?

MySpace 😂 lol but no for real back when I was a Psych major people started asking me to make them a site after seeing some random sites I dinked with in my spare time for personal endeavors. I then realized it could be a career, so I switched schools and majors. I enjoy getting lost in the code and doing solitary work. I don't like talking to clients or providing customer support so, yeah lol 😂🤓

Math for Computer Science Majors professor is going on and on about calculating probability as if I never heard of the topic before. I took probability theory last semester!! I am so not interested in staying on Zoom with my camera on :(

One of the more memorable friends through coding is a guy I met at 9am at what had to be an early lecture with 150+ students. We were both following it as part of a minor but the only ones there: we apparently didn't get the message that it was cancelled because we were no majors...
We decided to just work on the group assignment because why not and became friends.
Little did we know that we had already met dozens of times (but never really talked) the two years before as we are both members of the same students association, only strengthening the bond!

Sometimes not receiving a notice of cancellation is not that bad...

I was in junior college working on a mechanical engineering degree taking Calculus 1, some other classes, and a beginner level C programming class.

I decided being a ME wasn't for me as I couldn't handle the math, but the programming was a lot of fun. I ended up dropping Cal 1 and changing majors only to find out that I needed to transfer to a 4 year school to continue on the developer track. A few years later in December of 2013 I graduated with my BS in Computer Information Systems and a couple of years after that I had a great job as a dev.

Devs/cs majors seem to be the most dedicated to learning out of any group of people at my school, anyone think this is true beyond school?