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Shit... I just got my phone stolen. Realized it 40 seconds post factum [left it at the shop counter and someone took it].
20 minutes later called the police [cuz I had to get home and use wife's phone].
5 min later poluce arrived
10 min later they got all they could from shop's security officer.
Police officer asks me to login my samsung acc on his phone. 2 minutes later we are on the way to the exact location my phone is at.
15 minutes later officer hands me my samsung 😁
got my phone back in less than an hour after theft.
maybe... Ummm... Maybe all this tracking thing is not that bad...?13 -
*Wants to learn a programming language*
*visits Udemy*
*It's costly af*
*Visits youtube*
*Plays learn complete java in 30 min*
*Completed*
*Visits hacker earth*
*Started solving a problem*
-- eternity later--
*Still on same problem*
*Cries in corner*
THE END18 -
me: I don't have access to X project
PM: you don't have access to X project?
me: no, I don't have access to X project
PM: don't worry I'll take care of that
2 min. later
PM: so, you were saying ... ?
me: that I don't have access to X project
1 month later
me: I don't have access to X project
PM: you don't have access to X project?10 -
Response time of different people on Whatsapp:
Best Friend: 5-10 sec
Friend: 1-2 min
Best Friend(Girl): 3-5 min
Girl Friend: 1-2 day 😢
Client(when me solving bug): 0.00005 sec
Client(when me asking payment): *Blocked*
😕😕😕😕😕7 -
When you have a 7Mbps ADSL and your brother keeps loading Tv series:
- 192.168.1.1
- QoS
- YOUR_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MAX
- HIS_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MIN
Well, now begin to complain that the connection is slow.14 -
Today pycharm recommended me to simplify "if x > min and x > max"
Result: "if min < x < max"
Thank you for enlightening me, JetBrains6 -
LinkedIn Manager to Satya Nadella:
LM: Hey, how are you doing? At Linkedin we need to buy Github accounts.
SN: Just a min... Yes. We bought Github for $7.5 billion.
LM: Dude, we need github account for our developers. It’s just $21/user.
SN: WTF🤦🏻♂️2 -
Interviews for developers should say: This is an error on production. You have 10 min to find the solution on google.
This is more efficient than making developers write algorithms.7 -
Had to give a 15 min presentation on web development. I somehow turned it into me giving a 1 hour lecture on ssl and end to end encryption to a bunch of accounting students 😅3
-
I got my first own office... We did it. We just painted our mini Iranian office in two nights and we about to code it,has 5 min distance to our college and it's a golden opportunity to work and study at the same time.
8 -
!dev
It's raining. I love it.
It's foggy. I love it.
But I live in a desert and nobody here seems to know how to handle the rain, let alone the fog. (It isn't hard, people!) Last night during my ~30 min drive home from work, five separate accidents/collisions happened just a little ways behind me because it was raining. Now it's foggy, too.
I have to go to work.
I'm scared.12 -
There was this site to get prank software, one of them made the start button run away when the mouse gets near (Windows XP). Watched the IT teacher chase it around for about 5 min before he called the lab assistant to fix it6
-
The problem with me programming lately :
Mom: foooood is ready...
Me: Will be there in a minute. (deep inside I know that's a lie).
5 minutes later...⏰
Mom: food is getting cold!
Me: Yes I'm coming, testing one last thing...I swear !
30 min later I'll join the table...The guilt 😩 I'm sorry mommy 🙏
Anybody else with the same problem? 😅9 -
This happens so often!
*Lecturer teaching using a ppt*
A slide with literally one basic understandable sentence on it : unnecessarily discussed for 20 min.
A slide with actual important stuff,graphs, definitions charts etc. : Skipped in 5 sec 😑3 -
Both: Let's start over.
Me: Everything different
She: Where to start?
Me: Dunno
She: ...
5 min later
She: I created a new folder
Me: ?
She: That's at least a start, isn't it? ^^
Both: *laugh*
Me: Lemme create a rant about that
6 -
I'm holding a programming class today, it's an open-door event, so anyone can come and try it out.
Nothing too much, just basic things.
I've been holding it for 30 min... To no one... No one showed up...7 -
Jason Bourne movie:
"Use SQL to corrupt their database!"
In my head: "Seriously? That's like saying 'Use a computer to hack them!', 5 bucks says someone is going to say "ENHANCE" on a blurry photo."
3 Min later. 'ENHANCE!'"4 -
that feeling when you code from 11 pm to 2 am to solve a problem and then decide to google it and see that you could solve it in 2 min or less4
-
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
Couldn't get stress ball from devRant.. But I found one at work.. Now it's mine 😀
After 5 min with it, my stress levels dropped and productivity also..
2 -
> be me
> has some free time
> decides to practice rust skills
> logs on codewars
> finds challenge involving prime numbers
> passes 30 min skimming the Internet to implement the Sieve Of Atkin algorithm
> tries example tests
> passes
> submits answer
> “memory allocation of 18446744073709547402 bytes. failederror: process didn’t exit successfully”
> 18446744073709547402 bytes ~= 18 million petabytes
So yeah, I think it’s broken9 -
Yay, it's Monday!
And as Monday's go, there's a prod deployment, cool beans! 30 min later it's done!
So why the rant?
Because I'm on FUCKING ANNUAL LEAVE YOU BITCHES!!!!!
Fuck it, it's done, I'm going back to bed.2 -
Let's start 2023 !
WHO THE FUCK imagined that having language like YAML is a good idea ??
Fuck you and your spaces. No editor produce any decent errors messages except "Your spaces are wrong".
When you edit an Azure debops pipeline, it's just 5 min ti do thing, 35 minuites to figure ou where to add/remove spaces.
NO, I WILL NOT read 25 pages of documentation to add a single step into pipeline.
Fuck YAML !29 -
Elon Musk is building on new, rocket like transportation technology to travel to any part of the planet in half hour. Also should cost same as aircrafts today.
This is man modern day "Thinker"19 -
Before shutting something down, verify that its the right one ;)
A colleague was testing some performance setting on a server and needed to restart the network driver so he disabled it and was going to enable it when the remote session died ;)
Fast 30 min trip to the datacenter to enable network card.2 -
When I signed up to devRant 2 min ago it asked me about "Skills (js, xcode.. .)".
I was like "eeeew... Well.. Getting to university in time?"
- me, student in the first semester.12 -
30 min figuring out what happen to my code. And realize that = is used in if statement instead of ==.
Thanks brain8 -
Sometimes I am so motivated .Today I tried coding in car .(I was in backseat)
20 min: Damn,my eyes hurt😞
40 min: Why do I feel dizzy😵
50 min : Oooh...I feel like puking.🤢
51 min : Dad......Stop the caaa....
Nothing I'm done
Lesson learned10 -
Decided to switch from qwerty to Dvorak since I saw someone rant about it. Took me 3 min to write this, plus another 1 min for this ...11
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I’m waiting visual studio 2015 for 3 hours and another one for this program devexpress because we need to learn it at my bootcamp
2017 doesn’t even took 30 min to finish up5 -
Vodafone, 2019
This is simply ridiculous
"Welcome to The United Arab Emirates. Warning - you have activated your mobile device overseas. Significantly higher charges may apply. While you're here, it will cost up to $20.89/min + 40c connection fee to make calls, $5/min to receive calls, $3.50 to send a TXT and data is charged $51.20/MB. It's free to receive a TXT. (...)."
Not Shure if other carriers are better, but with roaming on this rant would have, probably cost like 10$ :D12 -
Turns out scrolling through devRant while thinking for a function name was not a good decision after all.8
-
Just watched Snowden
to check if Edward had completed his assignment that is supposed to take 5 hours but Ed does it in 40 min, top CIA director guy types:
cd backup
ls
Into computer terminal.
Pats Ed on back. Well done super hacker.
Apparently by opening a folder and looking at what files are in said folder you can confirm the success of a CIA exam.3 -
after coding for 4 hour you find a class that can do the same task in 5 min .You dought yourself if you are a good coder6
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1. take a screen shot of the desktop (wallpaper and icons)
2. take all icons and put them in a folder
3. set the screen shot as the wallpaper
4. hide the folder containing all the icons in the wallpaper
5. hide the task bar
My stupid TL was fighting for 20 min before begging me to fix my prank6 -
When you find a bug in a "min" js file and you don't have the not minified version anymore... ok, it's not a bug it's a feature.
6 -
I was to optimise a SQL query (7 min to execute,yes) with around 20 joins (I did not write this). Checked for missing indexes,etc.. but nothing worked. Stared outside the window, and back to desk reordered the joins ,executed in 10 secs.1
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One of the embarrassing moment for me..
Whenever some colleague pings me whenever I was busy coding I would reply "1 sec", finish whatever I was doing then talk to them.
But what happened one day was I sent "1 sex" instead to couple of the colleagues... When I realised it was very embarrassing..
Since then I have stopped using "1 sec" and use "1 min" instead.1 -
I'm working with some too smart junior. He rarely listens, does his own magic.
In his last MR, he did an ugly fix, 100 lines big. I told him exactly, what to check first, but nope, he's likes being a magician.
Now, I took 5 min and fixed it with single line of code.3 -
So I have this massive fight with a PM, yelling at eachother for 5 min. Once out of our system we sorted it out, no hard feelings
I wish we had more pm's like him1 -
Just arrived in Sydney 2 days ago and reported for work yesterday. I looked at my laptop's clock and it said its 4:40pm. Cool! Another 20 min and I'm off.
I started fiddling around with my machine settings and noticed my Location setting is off. I switched it on. My time is updated to 2:43pm.
MOTHERF****!!!1 -
Sitting 10 min+ to understand why the pagination comes up empty when results per page is increased...
Then in the url i relises that "...?page=2" ☺️
Happy Monday everyone!
-
Intermediate programming exam today(in Java):
5 min before the exam started the guy next to me :"Hey can you tell me what a lambda-expression is? And why do we need streams? "
According to the assignment description you actually had to solve nearly every assignment with lambdas and the stream API.
Sorry mate.6 -
Stay curious and open-minded. If you hear something new take some 5-10 min and Google it. You will surprise much people even if you know just basics.
And if you're a fast learner, be aware, some people will be intimidated and try to oust you. But stay positive! -
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
So I have 1mb/s internet that cuts out every ~5 min - i had to wait for internet connection to load the speed test.
I am just outside London - internet speed should not be bad, i am not exactly in the middle of nowhere
10 -
when you start machine learning on you laptop, and want to it take to next level, then you realize that the data set is even bigger that your current hard-disk's size. fuuuuuucccckkk😲😲
P. S. even metadata csv file was 500 mb. Took at least 1 min to open it. 😭😧11 -
When you actually use your knowledge and experience to solve a problem outside work, that's a real nice feeling. Had to distribute a bunch of files, so just threw together a Vue page in 20 min. Fully interactive with filtering and all. Nice!2
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I've been waking up successfully for two weeks now at 6:30 am thanks to sleeping pills and Melatonin pills I'm taking 30 min. before bedtime.
I will change that to 6am starting today.
Yes, I'm sleeping 8 hours and a half, it feels great!.9 -
When you spend 20 min trying to find out why your function wasn't working in your angular2 app and find you put an extra t in your function name than what you were trying to call...
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My first rant! Hi everyone:
When stuck, a little nap (20 min or so) and a cup of coffee (3 or 4 liters 😂) usually do the trick.5 -
Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
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!dev
Got one of these today, pretty cool in my experience. I do not have any experience at all with sdr's.
I taught I broke it for a good 30 min thinking 350 € down the drain, turns out i accidentally set the antenna gain to 0 (damn ui designer)
3 -
*Releases software for State project comprising of a solution with 3 WinServices and 2 WCF Services*
*Literally 15 min after release*
Email from State: "Here is an updated wsdl schema that is going literally fuck up everything you have released, enjoy!"
Me: *starts convulsing* -
My 5 cents about refactoring.
People often postpone it, making it harder down the line.
From my experience, it's better to just do it as you go. 5 min can otherwise become 30 min thing after a while, and combined with some other 5 min thing, this can become 2 hour thing after some time, for example.
Also good luck convincing management (especially bad one), that you need 2 weeks of refactoring. Doing tiny 5 min refactoring, no one will notice.7 -
> 1 hr meeting
> 30 min free
> 30 min meeting
> 3 hour meeting
> 30 min free
> 15 min "check point"
> How hard is concrete from 20 stories?!1 -
Being mocked by the chef because I am "almost a week on a task"... Yeah dude, if a script which should update hundred thousands of main entities in production with a 45 min duration even though it is already paralleled is a half day job why don't you do it fucking yourself?4
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I freelanced for a startup one time, and found out they had ten of thousands of records stored in their DB about dental patients, inducing name, address, social security #, some medical history, etc. All in plain text. Worst part is they hired me after a 20 min phone call, and didn't even sign a NDA!
Makes me paranoid to use the Internet knowing what some of these companies do.2 -
I can't get any work done at work... The potatoe they gave me for a laptop is 5 years old, Every day I was approx 2 hours (no joke) for it to power up, open up my visual studio solutions, connect to the VPN, and open my browsers.
Then my fucking shit computer loses connectivity with one of my 2 monitors every 15 min so I need close the lid, reopen it again so it "picks up the monitor" then wait another 5 min for my windows to respond.
Agh!!!!!
It's frustrating too cuz my boss ordered me a new computer 2 months ago. But cuz I work for corporate bozos it took them 2 months just to process/place the order for a new computer. So now I have to wait even longer just to have a functioning computer.6 -
Best laptop to run your linux distro
"Razer founder and CEO Min-Liang Tan has announced that Razer is soon going to support Linux distros on its Razer Blade laptop series officially. To welcome the suggestions from the community, Razer has created a new Linux Corner hub"5 -
been trying to figure out why the result of a linux service wasn't updating after 30 min i noticed i was calling 'systemctl start service' instead of 'systemctl restart service' FUCK MAH MUTHAFUCKING LIFE 😊2
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Finally found my topic for the 10 min presentation :
Network protocol security
After giving an overview , i'm gonna talk about http , ftp , telnet , netbios and showing them a sample packet and how easy the username and password can be found if these protocols are used.
Any other recommandation?5 -
So I just found out about arrow functions thanks to React and I've been sitting here for legit 20 min, amazed by how aesthetic they look6
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Just wrote a rant/story about my school day, seriously spend 10 - 15 min writing it and I was just about to post it, but boom - "Unfortunately devRant has stopped"
Sometimes with good custom ROM comes unstable updates.
P.S. if you think devRant would have saved my rant, don't worry I thought that too but when I checked it, it was empty just like my devRant notifs!!2 -
800+ lines of js, implementing business logic from an excel spreadsheet. All variables named as the excel cells, e.g "B32 = G11 * Min(A12, A13)" and so on, all grouped in a few giant functions.
PM told me to modify some of the logic, ended up rewriting the whole thing. At least the next person working on it won't have to deal with this mess...1 -
15 min till technical interview with IBM:
Trying to convince myself I’m not an imposter. 🙃
10 min after the interview:
I’m thinking how for the last 15 min of the interview they were pitching about how great the life at IBM is and why I should join.21 -
I have a presentation which takes 10 min and must be about anything relative to computer .
Since the other students are very stupid , I might not choose a very advanced topic ( after thinking about encryption i realized this)
So i need help!
What is your recommandation for the subject?18 -
Boss: hey can you loop through all the entries in the data base (PHP) to make a menu of everything?
Me: me sure thing, shouldn't be a problem
10 min in playing with the database...and I remove the table...FUCK ME?!!??!!!
good thing we backed up the night before 😂😂1 -
Why can’t you just make a document with the description of the things you want?
Why do you feel the need to send me fucking voice notes over 9 min long?2 -
My brain: you have 30 min until you gotta catch the bus, that’s enough for that css fix you wanted to implement on the website!
My development environment: Hey that looks a lot better and works perfectly fine!
My website in production: Fuck you. Fuck your changes. Fuck your bus.
What do we learn? Precompile assets before pushing to production and don’t push to production if there’s a bus to catch 🙃 -
60 min before closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: most profitable client website flatlines.
15 min after closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: most profitable client website flatlines.
30 min after closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: Windows Updates.
Well fuck you too, world.1 -
how am i supposed to fix anything if they change the priorities on my tickets every 10 sec, like PM's change them, 2 min later MD over rules them and changes them again, so 5 min later PM's change them again because something urgent came up, but then another client starts ringing my MD so that client is suddenly priority
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG
I give up2 -
Friends were having great and fun time last night partying after (also) last week partying.
And now someone's having friends over for dinner in the shared kitchen.
While here I am hours staring at my screen trying to break the algorithm.
: /
______________________________
Me : Enough with coding! I need social life!
5 min later :
*Checking devrant and reddit/programminghumor2 -
Waited 6h with friends for a light show to just leave 15 min before start, because I was too bored and there were way too many people... Right now enjoying with headphone and noise cancelation jazz in the train back home. Programming made me way too awkward... 😐3
-
when you check your mobile each 5 min to see whether you have new up votes/comments on your latest 'rant' and you're like 'just checking the time' 😅😅1
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Just got into office and saw a group email about a recently released feature.
Apparently, it creates a lot of connections which it never closes. This could hang the server since it can only handle a large but finite amount of active connections.
Well the dev said: I will optimize later
My thoughts: later = min(never, production blows up) -
Pro Tip #12:
If you boot of HDD buy one of the cheap 240 GB SSD and try yourself. Windows finally boots in less than 5000 min.2 -
3 days 2 nights with only 20 min naps and max 1h of sleep in between. I was finishing my masters thesis. Then I handed it in the next day and everything felt like it is in slow motion? The printing, the going there to hand it in, etc. Couldn't sleep for that day either xD do not recommend. Start writing your thesis on time kids
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WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Whoever says that MacOS is superior or at least on par with Linux in terms of ease of maintenance -- feel free to stick a backwards pinecone up your asshole and push it down with a baseball bat with 5" nails.
The FUCK is this nightmare. You can't even start a process w/o logging in via GUI, password changes are another horror story, esp. for users who have never logged in [warning says to change keystore pass separately... Which doesn't exist...], vnc uses some proprietary protocol, ...
Seriously, even SunOS is easier to maintain, not to mention AIX, compared to this BSD nightmare of a UNIXoid....
Wtf....3 -
!dev
Two people are arguing about what time he texted her for like 2 min now..
Both of them hold their smartphones in their hands..
JUST UNLOCK YOUR PHONES AND CHECK THE FACTS!!4 -
The reason why I like to code alone in the dark is so that people cannot see my dumb mistakes such as 'forgetting to hit run after compile and wasting 10 min wondering why my code didn't show on the console'.
: /1 -
When you have 30 min. until your final presentation, 2 persistent errors you haven't been able to iron out for hours....... and everyone else in your class shows up asking you for help with their output..... RAWR!!!
3 -
WTF is up with newletters. I click unsubscribe and get taken to the site where I see the bar confirming, I then get hit with a modal asking me to subscribe and then a few min later an email telling me I can resubscribe if I accidentally unsubscribed. WTF unsubscribes accidentally when they hide that fucking link away3
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I'm in sad nostalgia....
32MB BIOS updates take a loooong time.
Reset...
Hey. i'm updatinf the LED firmware.
Reset again.
Hey. I needed to reset all settings.
BIOS.
Fan detection for min rate.
Dozen settings changed.
Laggy mouse because EFI and graphics is slooooow...
I miss the old days of just keyboard based BIOS. And where updating didn't take 15 mins....2 -
A microwave can cook potatoes in ten minutes!? Why the fuck did nobody tell me?
A lot of workplaces only offer a microwave and no oven, and barley a kitchen to prepare stuff.
Hence, I was rarely bringing in my own food as I worked under the assumption that I had to prepare it at home and just heat it up at work. And potatoes take round about ~40 minutes the way I make them (20 min to cook, 20 min to steep).
Now, I will be using the shit out of those technical wonders and save a lot of money in the progress, as I used to go to restaurants almost daily for lunch time. Heck, I may even buy myself one for home use.
Oh, now I remember why!
This is what I get by being brought up by a somewhat esoteric mother.
"Microwave are no good, the taint the food."
No, they do not. It's science!4 -
My sister is 8 and here's what she told me a couple of days ago
My sis: I can't watch youtube!
Me: yeah, the intranets down.
My sis after 5 min: Google is not working.
This just proves that 1-2-3 graders don't know a fadoodle of what the internet is...3 -
The worst part of youtube is that you have to watch 8 minute ad with no skip button for 5 min video8
-
Fuck Windows 10
Just fuck it
Another update, the audio won't play using the correct device again.
Says headphones, but plays through speakers, simple things like that every day. Now spend 30 min diagnosing why...
Just fuck it7 -
I took a online job interview today.
During online call I was asked to print a few sheets of papers with some programming tasks. I had 20 min to write down all the answers and send a photo back. Good I had a pen and printer connected, because I didn't expect that.4 -
Just had a Skype call that explained a Skype chat about the fact that I can't do anything on a task, because we are waiting for another (external) dev do finish his work.
Time wasted for Skype chat: 10 min
Time wasted for Skype call: 20 min
Time wasted for stopping myself from doing any harm to the user: 30 min4 -
Graphic & Web Designer
(job offer)
- graphical proposals for:
-web pages,
- banners,
- presentation materials,
- gaming graphic,
- application (iOS, Android) graphic...
Bla bla bla...
Min. 2 years profesional experience...
Valid certification and lvl of proficiency in (Adobe Photoshop, I lnDesign, Illustrator)...
Fast delivery....
Salary 3,50€ brutto / hr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣....
Jobs in Slovakia 🤣6 -
We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.
But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p
QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it
Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.
Reasigned to Junior dev.
Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.
So at least 30 min.
Reasigned to me.
Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :
Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.
Git blame => Or never mind... it was me..
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That feeling when after not enough time, of reading and commenting on new rants, you catch up to your rant, only to realise 2 hours have past and not 10 min, like you think it was..
-
dubSmall = lambda x: x*(2-min(1,x//100))
dubSmall = lambda x: 2*x if x < 100 else x
I prefer the first one, and I think people will always hate me for that.6 -
*Coding on a website*
Wow this image is huge! Should I give it to my Graphics Designer? Nah I can fix this.
*Opening Gimp*
2 min later....
Image completely destroyed, fml!3 -
My 1300€ Thinkpad is just a noisy and sometimes annoying laptop. It is sometimes so loud that my colleague is pissed off.
It is almost four years old and dust cleaning did not help...
I am so pissed off by this behaviour i am actually thinking of selling it and buying a macbook.......11 -
Tomorrow I must present a summery of what the prof said in the first session of security+ within 20 min.
All he said was about the most important security certs and some definitions including CIA triangle.
Any idea how I can make my summery cooler or anything relative I can say in addition to those?6 -
How to impress PM:
1. Prepare a critical bug, that makes the frontend crash
2. Prepare a hotfix, that fixes the bug
3. Deploy bug on Friday afternoon
4. Wait until PM starts panicking
5. Deploy hotfix after 5 min
6. Get praise from PM5 -
48 hours hackathon, Before 20 min everything working good and fine. Finishing touch and everything breaks. Finally, fixed 5 min prior to presentation start. Panicked to toes, were asked to present first. Result: Runners up. Hell yeah.
-
so, i got a job in a company with 140 employees. they wanted me to work 9 hours a day, 30 min rest time and i had to pay for everything like lunch and even coffee. if i get to work late or leave work early they would punish me.
Oh god...6 -
College days
Me and my friend sitting in Lab
Me - Dude I am not able to install simulator in this PC, it's asking for some password
Friend - Try typing random password, admin123, admin000, admin0, admin etc.
Me: (After 10+ attempts) Not working :(
Friend: (Saying to faculty) Mam what's the password for this PC, I need to install simulator.
Mam: Wait, Computer specialist will come and do it for you
** Waiting for 10 min **
Specialist came and starts installing it one by one. After 3 min
Specialist: (After realizing that he can't install it for all 50+ PC's)
Everyone select Administrator account, and press enter, then you will be able to download it.
Me and my friend staring at each other laughing so hard ... !
After 1 month, the password is still same :P
Fun fact: It is Technical Campus.3 -
About 15h...
8:00 - 23:00 with a 10 min break in between to go get some food from the store next door..
Because stuff was promised to the customer and we were told about it on the previous day...
The customer needed it before Christmas, so we delivered on the 24th at 11pm.2 -
Why the fuck do people post questions on Stack Overflow and not accepting any answers while they 100% solve the question?? I posted a 10000% valid and working answer, and the OP just never accepts my answer or anything. I'm sure he saw it cuz I clicked his profile and saw "last seen 10 min ago." WTF??9
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We should get @dfox on YouTube with the notifications because when I get a notification its instant good job dude 😀. But youtube takes like 30 min so I can get the notification7
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double RandDouble(double min, double max) {
double rand = (double) RandomGen::GetRand32() / UINT32_MAX;
return (rand * (max - min)) + min;
}
I wrote this function 2 months ago and until now assumed it was working.
Turns out GetRand32 has a range up to INT32_MAX, not UINT32_MAX. So this function would only ever select the first half of the range.
You gotta be fucking kidding me... -
Way, way back when IBM discovered, gasp, that the largest gain in programmer productivity was giving each one an office. Have also read it takes 15 min to regain train of thought after an interruption. What is pair programming doing to us and worse open offices? And phones?6
-
Does anyone knows why in c++ floats range from numeric_limits<float>::lowest() to ::max() and ::min() is just the lowest positive value instead the actual minimum? This strange naming convention just costs me an hour of my life that I'm never getting back...2
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Demo
Backend Team : No one want to listen to technical details. A short 2 min demo what we have done.
Shareholders : Have you done anything?
Frontend Team : half an hour demo of validators and fields that sum values from other fields
Shareholders: Wow that is awesome, great job, nice to see, great value, lot of progress.4 -
I've been at work for nearly 4 hours and have gotten barely 1 hour of work done due to my amazingly slow computer. Currently I'm waiting for visual studio to start responding. It'll respond in about 10-15 min... Takes 40 min to boot up my PC and launch my VS solutions.13
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I have stopped Windows updates in my laptop. But no windows has to do some shit in order to maintain its reputation. Every 10 min I get this pop up.
9 -
kinda pissed at github/microsoft right now. my friend applied for the student developer pack before microsoft bought github and got accepted in 10 min, i'm still waiting and it's been three days. how long did yours take?13
-
Fuck stupid VS, stupid M$, have to wait 20 min for Outlook to delete old emails in order to build - deploy solution
3 -
Who the fuck thought java development is okay on a VDI ! Eclipse runs shit even on local environment and running it on a vm located in a different country with 3gb of vram?
You want to do a file search? Wait for 5mins
You want to. Build via gradle. Wait for 15 min
Fucking idiots.1 -
Coding from 8:00 am to 10:35 pm (still counting) straight with 3x10 min breaks ........ Just another typical Sunday. FML
-
Waiting 3 min for our deployment pipeline's "build step" to finish downloading all 1.08GB of source code because business won't prioritise tech led tickets (to use shallow cloning in this case) 😞
Feeling so apathetic rn 😝6 -
!devrelated
I just have to vent somewhere about how I'm SO DAMN SICK of the effin' cross-realm BS in World of Warcraft. Nothing breaks immersion like having to stand in line for some mob with 10 min respawn timer. I joined a low-pop server for a reason!!! -
Doing personal online shopping whilst waiting for code to compile (took about 10-15 min every time, just for the smallest code change).
This was a really slow Adobe Flex system which I hated. Actually glad I left because no sane company uses Flash, even in 2012. -
Programming in Delphi without any concepz. Done in CS class in school. Like wtf did anyone see delphi even near production?! Teacher did not know any other programming language2
-
Sorry for bad english
So before 14 min of this post
My browser keeps hanging because of that large message wich my boss sent to me
And simply message was about "company giving me raise from this month"
So i am happy now and angry too on my pc3 -
Does anybody else feels like scrum's daily is utterly useless when working day by day on site?
I mean, we talk to each other either way, all day long. Scrum acting like this is the 15 min of whole day we will have the chance to speak...2 -
Every once in a while I start to question my development principles and start to read articles, especially software philosophical, and try to improve my practices, aswell as find several trade-offs between my own best practices.
-
My commute time recently went from 15 min. to 50 min. (rant for another time). Looking for a podcast that I can listen to on my way to work. It can be language specific (java) or it could be about software development in general. Anyone have any recommendations?3
-
The most frustrating part of the "your password must be min. 8 characters long and include a number and a special character" thing is that it does not improve security.
On the contrary.
I wonder how many people in the company have the name of the city they are located in, and the current year in their password...
#newyork18 #beijing20173 -
There is some kind of business big change in the company where I'm currently working.
I'm really happy with the current situation, in terms of salary, flexibility, teammates... all. I don't really want this to change.
In 15 min I have a metting with the bosses to talk about those changes. I feel pretty nervous about what they will say and what can I say to keep my interests.
Wish me luck.6 -
Starting my PC. Slow. Very slow. Keyboard and mouse are not responding.
I think - I THINK - Windows is updating. Ok, I let you 15 min. Still frozen. Mouse move in a nearly 1 frame per 4 seconds.
Ok, I have to leave all day, I let you finish.
Coming back after 24h. Still frozen. Are you kidding me? An update so-called stealthy? Go in hell kro$oft!3 -
Had a markdown text in gitlab and tried to print it. It did not work.
Pasted it into atom then ctrl shift m
for markdown view and find out atom can not print. tried firefox instead of chrome, also no luck. After 15 min Odyssee I mark the text im chrome and rightclick+print it, works1 -
Each programmer is a poet at heart
Programmers are like God. We create defects and also kill them too. We spend the whole day fixing a defect, and the patch itself gives birth to a few more defects of its own.1 -
OMG!!!!!!!
CTO of a firm is taking my interview for a summer internship profile. I am so excited and afraid, it will be a 15 min telephonic interview.
Any advises??5 -
For the longest time I've had trouble trying to get my background images full screen viewed and responsive for some components while learning angular 2. Then some one typed this in the CSS
Min-height: 100vh; for height
It felt like I had a heart attack and spontaneous orgasim at the same time.
2 -
The moment when you realize that your hard disk spins only at 7200 revs/ min after buying 1Gbps wireless router!!7
-
Lets start the night with Visual Studio Code.
Passed 30 min and github not synced.
Should i kill myself?4 -
!dev
So, I implemented a 30 min jogging first thing in the morning to my daily routine.
Needless to say that I've done it for about 3 days before I failed at waking up early enough to run before having to leave for college. It was a fun ride though 😊 -
Found this in a book and i can tell you that wtfs/min is the most effective code quality measurement technique programmers have known to this day! xD
(Book: Clean code Robert C.Martin)
4 -
company policy was to bill in 10 min increments to a contract whose deliverables you were executing on, this was federally mandated. they never told us where to bill the 5+ hours of meetings per week we had on "technology". every time i asked i was told i would be "gotten back to"4
-
Tried streaming a demo of a project I was working on...
A little while later my friend told me that it only showed the first frame... For the whole ten min...
At least now I don't have a potato PC... -
Parental Programming: noun 1. Between chaning diapers and preparing milk bottles you contemplate about the code you are going to write. So in the 5 min you get to do it you can punch it out almost perfectly before you have to clean vomit from a carpet.1
-
I wrote 2 steps (20 words max) instruction for my team mates how to run local env.
30 min later a dev pings me that local env is broken. I found out that he skipped 2nd step.
He claimed he had overlooked it :D1 -
One of my colleagues from work:
- Looks through the code and finds a chunk of code that looks fishy (to her)
- Sais that she never understood why it was implemented that way
- Deletes the chunk of code
- Starts rewriting it
- Remembers why it was done that way
- Reverts it back and moves on to something else
Just why? It would have taken her 1 min to read the code ... -
Every time there is a new project, we programmers swear to ourselves that we will code it better this time. We get elated that we do not have to deal with the tech debts piled up in the old module.1
-
Lesson learned.
If you're planning on buying a MacBook and WWDC is ≤ 4 or ≤ 5 months away, JUST WAIT FOR IT.
Bought min almost 2 weeks before wwdc, and turns out they made a refresh of the same model...
FML2 -
Oh this looks like an interesting 10 min Nodejs tutorial on utube!
*30 minutes of fighting modules installation*2 -
Need to use new module or pattern:
1. Read the online documentation
2. Have no fu*kin clue what I just read
3. Try for 2 hours and fail.
4. Go home and sleep
5. Wake up at 3am from a fever dream with the solution to the problem
6. Go to work and implement it in 10 min
I guess I learn when I sleep -
Nothing shuts up a client quite as fast as completing and pushing (to QA, product isn't complete yet) a feature request within 30 min of getting the email for it.
-
I spend the first 30 min of my day, every day, cleaning up the shit storm that my "PM" hacked together in JIRA. I really wish she would be taken off this project.1
-
Rule of thumb when buying things. You need to research a lot and canvass other competitors of that product/service.
In short, I forgot to research pCloud's upload speed. They throttle my upload speed to 1Mbps only which is really slow (I'm in Asia by the way, their server is in US). Got tempted by their $350 2TB lifetime.
I tested the basic upload speed using browser 33.9MB file:
- pCloud 1 min 9 sec
- Dropbox 13 sec
- Google Drive 12 sec
- Mega.Nz 1 min 56 sec
- (I will test next sync.com)
I have a 100Mbps upload and 35 Mbps download speed. So it means "Lifetime" slow upload speed.
Side Question: Which Cloud backup service do you use and why? Thanks!2 -
If you ever need to focus on your work, grab your headphones and listen to https://coffitivity.com1
-
Do you prefer / have quick or calm mornings?
I wake up at 8 am bike 15 min to work at 9 am, do school and personal stuff till 10 am and then start working.
It feels like I just have to take it easy at morning time because I have to also go to school in evenings after work.6 -
Me: This spam email looks a little weirder than normal.
Phishing team: Its just spam don't waste our time.
*15 min later*
Phishing team: Nevermind. Its trying to take your log in info off your account. Thanks
...Jerks -
Anybody else recently figure out that watching a 5 min tutorial on using a new tool/package/extension will save you hours of frustration?
-
2 Core aws box.
LoadAvg 19.76 (over 1 min)
Other staff members:
"Thats fine, it normally does that.
Is it still running? It's fine" -
min-height: calc(100% - 1rem)
AAAAA REEEEEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGGG IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND CSS DONT USE ITTTTTTTTTTT
so much pain / time could be saved if devs just used a damn framework (i don't care, bootstrap or tailwind, have at it which is better, i could care less). stop trying to be fancy, like this above, because its ultimately wrong. sorry i'm not sorry7 -
So I was reading Scrum for my exam all I can see was Meeting.
Product backlog meeting for 15 mins;
Enters to the office 5 mins meeting;
Sprint review meeting for 10mins;
Daily scrum 2 times meetings;
Sprint planning 3 hours of meeting;
Starting the next Sprint 30mins meetings;
Managing releases 45 min meeting;
Sprint Retrospective 45 mins of meeting;
Wtf? Do they do any work there?4 -
2 min silence for my friend.
who got contract to edit and make golden frame of "naga baba"
he have to zoom each and every part of naga baba to clear and make render image.
xD XD16 -
is it just me or
<job ad>
...
min 1 year experience with web dev
min 5 years experience with web dev in JS
...
</job ad>
does not make much sense4 -
Client demo today..
Did lots of configuration stuff in this sprint and when talking through it I confuse even myself.. so many things that were done for one specific goal..
They will be confused during the whole demo, only in the last 2 min it will start to make any sense - when all the pieces come together.
It’ll be fun..4 -
New authentication system for a new type of login, I try to log in
Error everytime I try.
So I wait a little, like 10 min (the server is quite picky, thought it was it).
And then I try with another co-worker.
Login blocked.
Motherf-- -
Unusual play ocan waves sounds effect or rain or a moving train sounds .
Close my eyes and just be null ...
For like 5 min .. -
HAD a Happy morning.... had my coffee, started coding, lets say it was a productive morning.... then the boss called in the afternoon, then called again 5 min later, then called again 10 min later, and then called again 5 min later.... i had no will to continue coding for the rest of the day.....
-
Recently our devOps grew and the PM decided to split the dailies... Somehow, our dailies now last longer before the split when there are 1/2 of members present....
30 min daily with 12 people becomes a 50 min daily with 6 people... HOW1 -
That moment you suggest a strategy to save a big chunk of money each year only to find out that they are planning of adding more of the costly same thing due to some dumb policy that security decided upon years ago so can't do a lot about it other than min-maxing the hell out of it.
Coincidentally they also earn x% on the amount that's spent on this... 🤔2 -
I was trying to build this AWESOME react native application.
1. install npm and react native [3 min]
- oh wait install yarn [about 10 min]
- how about expo 1 min
- and install expo on my phone [ 1min]
2. create a react native app
umm install pod [10 min]
run npm ... figure failures and stuff [20 min]
it's been almost 1 hour now and I forgot what I was building.2 -
max - min != center.
(min + max) * 0.5 does though...
I astound myself sometimes on Friday afternoons...2 -
!rant
So, yesterday my colleague decided to upgrade his OS from Ubuntu 14.04 to 16.04.
He was working on some projects within containers. Stopped the containers and started upgrade as it was EOD.
Guess what, the update failed and it messed up his system. Now the system boots but crashes after few min. Docker won't start.4 -
Never heard of clamp(), a css thing for responsive sizing based on min max values. I shall certainly be investigating this on my next project. I ca’t be the only one who has never used this can I?
Plus is supported on all modern browsers!
https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US...8 -
I just looove waiting 30 min on average to try an iOS build.
It's so productive to twirl my thumbs for about 1,5 hours a day.
xcode, so fast, much wow...1 -
We have this guy at our office that is constantly sending mails complaining about our code. About 10 min. after a commit he's either complaining or come with some condescending "ok" comment.
-
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
I don't know what but our customers have put new terms in our contacts. That essentially make us liable if we don't take certain measure to protect the access to stuff.
To me that means I have to log out of my computer whenever I leave my seat. I was told its not necessary if I go to toilet. So I set the computer to require login after 15 min of not doing shit. Usually I remember that and log out manually so that's just precautions measure.
Today before I got lunch, I forgot. And my boss happened to notice my computer was on within that 15 min after I left.
I got a warning.
Fuck this shit. I now set th timer to 1 min.
Now I need to login again and again if I'm reading docs or article.
Fucking shit.2 -
How do you guys hire people? I need to hire people for a big laravel project and I am not sure how to evaluate someone in just 30 min.
So please tell me about your hiring method.7 -
I learnt C a while ago and didn’t use it for A semester. One day I needed to write some C code for a small Arduino project and I spent 20 min remembering how to declare an array.3
-
Connecting local test server with live db for testing purposes. Needs 10 min to start up because much data is preloaded.
Checked against 0 instead of null in code. Big fat null pointer error greets. Another 10 mins lost. -
laptop suggestions please:
- 13-14 inch screen
- min 8 gb ram (preferably 16)
- 128 gb storage
- i5 or i7
- 1200 x 800 resolution
- can run linux (no driver issues)
- can run flutter, android studio, and emulator
- $500 or less6 -
Trying to complete a compliance course by taking vpn from client site. The internet is so slow, a video of 1:20 has reached 0:47 in the last 20 mins. The whole course is 60 min long. How am I gonna compete this course!1
-
20 min until the showing of our finals project and the only guy who has all the code refuses to make a build that we can try out beforehand. Ah ffs. Had to go to the bathroom cause I feel ill and need a breather.3
-
Have to wake up at 7am to be at the office at 9am. This is kind of the main hate about my job. Am I picky?8
-
Was like 6 when my parents bought their first computer. I don't really remember much of it besides countless hours of playing Need for Speed Hot. That and Diddy Kong Racing on my Nintendo 64. How I miss those times.
P.S: reposted it because I forgot the wk tag and the 30 min edit had already passed . -
Seriously saying in my first game (this one) iam getting the feeling like no one would be able to complete all levels ever! They are soo tough it's like i have poured all of my whole day frustration in every level! Just like this one completed just a min ago!
After completing the level I can't even complete it once to checkout properly always have to chest to check!
2 -
Just tried Min https://minbrowser.github.io/min/. Awesome fast, content blocker, easylist, clean as I like it, mounted config & cache to tmpfs. 🙂
Btw: why are the guys at brave.com won't fix this annoying bug https://github.com/brave/.... No sandbox, no brave. 😣 -
Hey mobile devs, what is your stance towards these font and display size system settings ?
Like i tried putting those settings to max and most of my app's ui is broken beyond repair. Even small margins like 16dp takes more space than the width of my usb cable wire.
I personally like keep my fonts and screen sizes to min. Thus my apps look sweet on my phone, a little meh on average phones with default settings , and downright unusable if i put the settings to max.
So these days i test them for even the largest of settings and often end up with hacks for max settings or compromising the design for min settings.
So how do you keep a balance?
4 -
The more I learn, the more easily I get triggered at little things.
Read heapq python documentation to implement a min priority queue
Intuitively wrote heapq.push and heapq.pop in my code
Got to know that it's actually heapq.heappush and heapq.heappop
TRIGGERED! -
Use the Pomodoro technique. 25 min focuc followed by a 5 minute break. After 4 Pomodoros you take 20 min break.
There are several articles about that technique.2 -
"We are flexible with the arrivals, always when you accomplish your hours".
Missing detail: they don't open even 15 min early or close 15 min late. So how the fuck is that flexible?3 -
Sf bulk api:
CurrentPollingInterval = 1000;
While(jobRunning) {
...
CurrentPollingInterval = Math.Max(16000, CurrentPollingInterval *= 2);
}
Max/Min...
Why does this take so long..
I am fucking retarded...1 -
How long should apps take to build? Im being told 2 hrs min, 1 wk max...did I miss something or am I just slow?
Oh, btw, ANY app goes. Not just web/mobile....😒8 -
Forced to work with ASP.NET for a project. Not minding it though, even found it nice, kinda excited about .NET Core now.
HOWEVER, spent over 3 hours figuring out why can't I make a virtual property (Entity Framework actually provides proxy classes to be able to override behaviors of navigational properties, but I digress).
Says I don't have a type named 'virtual'. 3 hours in, no changes (git confirms), and IT SUDDENLY WORKS.
Fuck Visual Studio.2 -
Pomodoro technique but with 52min stretches and 15 min breaks.
For avoiding procrastination: create 2 Todo lists every day before leaving work, one for small tasks to be done first thing in the morning and others throughout the day.1 -
Why do I feel like the keys on my keyboard change places whenever I change my IDE?
Whenever I switch from Eclipse to Vim, I need to spend like 30 min getting use to the "new" key arrangement and to stop hitting "z" instead of "shift".1 -
In my current role, it takes 10 min to build and test a backend change. Front-end dev server is also painfully slow. It sometimes takes minutes for angular dev server to upload changes.
What am I supposed to do during these scattered idle time. Everything seems painfully slow1 -
Just failed a technical screening. I had never had one. Basically was asked to create an ass-backward version of of .filter() and couldn't understand what was going on. Figured it out 30 min later, but still confused why anyone would want it written that way. Humble times. I will attain you, knowledge!
-
Anyone else here get errors when using the latest SDK tools? It's like a manifest error but if I change the compile Target and min SDK to 25 it works. Is something wrong with SDK 26? I see that app compat is using v25.3.1, can this be the problem?3
-
Tony Stark is one of the most fascinating hardware and software testers. The man has got some good body (to withstand injuries)and big brains in a big pocket.1
-
Today my coisinhas asked me to remove a ad virus from her computer and the bad thing este is that is at programming at fu***** university and it is even worst when she sad that none of her friends could fix the fu***** problem!!! I just did it in 5 min by searchin in the web!!!!4
-
A good conversation should be like a mini skirt long enough to cover the topic and short enough retain interest2
-
We are migrating database from A to B. I am developing software for B side.
I am glad that there is only one B database instance. More excuses for long breaks when it is down for creation from start that takes 30 min.
I requested a database B copy for development purposes. Company is not that “agile” for such things. There is no feeling of guilt on my side.2 -
A question guys, I'm looking for a DB client. We are using SQL Management Server Studio, but its way way overkill for a frontend guy like me.
Min Requirements:
- Needs to be simple
- Must support MSSQL
- Plugin support and/or dark mode
- Free and/or not too buggy evaluation (like Sublime or Winrar)
- GUI should be reasonably modern
- Should also be native. Our database is a denormalized mess.6 -
Tried downloading blocktrail php sdk ended up waiting 15 min to download 79 dependencies for it to work
-
Looking for some cool coder/developer stickers .. any suggestions .. where I can get max options in min cost ?2
-
6 hours of manually testing a new library will save you 5 min of reading the documentation for sure!1
-
*builds workspace*
rosjava: error
.....
*build workspace 5 min later*
successfully build
?! Why is rosjava like this I didn't change anything!!! wtf can it please stop <.< -
Seriously saying in my first game iam getting the feeling like no one would be able to complete all levels ever! They are soo tough it's like i have poured all of my whole day frustration in every level! Just like this one completed just a min ago!
After completing the level I can't even complete it once to checkout properly always have to chest to check! -
Years ago i had the "it will take 15 min max" mentality. Now i am in "i will spend 30min to convince you that its not necessary or if it is your heavy approach is wrong"
-
Define programmers
The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks. -
Hardly ever use Windows on my laptop. One grub misstake later and I've been staring at "working with updates" for 20 min. Reinstalling windows would take less time... jävla skit os.
-
I got fired at last year. I couldn't find a job since economy moving slower than Sloth. So I started working solve this tiny problem, which everyone here must have faced - http://bit.ly/rant-commics-2n
Feedback will be appreciated ( also feel free to take the 2 min survey in the post ) :D1 -
You see, the power of coffee is greater than the power of heat engines installed on your boss's head
2 -
Seriously saying in my first game (this one) iam getting the feeling like no one would be able to complete all levels ever! They are soo tough it's like o have poured all of my whole day frustration in every level! Just like this one completed just a min ago!
After completing the level I can't even complete it once to checkout properly always have to chest to check!
-
power of coffee! never dissatisfies!!! It's like healers for developers as in overwatch2 stating solemnly"Heroes never die"!!!
2 -
TrumpScript is one funny programming language that was formulated by four Rice University undergraduates. TrumpScript allows developers to operate with numbers that are bigger than one million. If programmers user numbers less than a million then it will generate a quote from Donald Trump as an error message: ”I’m really rich, Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich.”1
-
Ever been hit so bad by a bug that you check the time hoping to knock off in the next 10 minutes, only to realize its 7:30 AM. I have been at work for 30 min! *SLAMS KEYBOARD*
-
I lost 30 min to find why a function didn't give me the result.
I've found out why.
Hardcoded with a if with no bracket nor breaklines
Yes, the " if (something) return someotherthing;"
Now I see why it's not always recommended..
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