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kinda creative:
A customer got an error in one of our applications. He made a screenshot, printed the screenshot, scanned the printed screenshot and attached the scanned jpeg to the e-mail :-D6 -
I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.
Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.
13 -
I just applied for one of those big big biiiiiiiig companies in robotics...
Something in my mind is telling me that I am actually losing it. Like, my mind. I must be losing my mind. 🤔
Oh well! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯26 -
Your mind is programmable - if you're not programming your mind, someone else will program it for you.8
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I typed "goto the place..." somewhere and later realized that "go" and "to" are two different words in real life.
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Applied for a company and received a contract today. I can't believe what I'm looking at. (Graduate software engineer)
- £30k starting salary
- 28 days annual holiday
- no benefits whatsoever
- no work schemes
- reserve the right to tell you to work overtime without extra pay
- reserve the right to work you from home on weekends in emergencies
- you will only work on what they tell you to and nothing else
This company has awful reviews all over the internet which I didn't see until after applying.
Going into their offices for interviews, all I saw was a bunch of slaves on their screens, no one talking, no one smiling.
Spoke to the CTO whose words were, quote: "we only care about making money, we don't care what people are saying about us as long as they are using our service and paying us."
What the actual fuck?15 -
This might sound trivial to most of you but recently I had my *mind blown* with a simple revelation.
When you use a ! as in "not equal to", you're actually performing a bitwise XOR to flip the bits.4 -
!dev
TLDR; younger brother is an unreliable fuck. Learning to be a pathetic trickster. Penny teller cheap ass jester.
Hello folks. Time for a little family story.
This started around mid June.
I was a little tight on money the past few months. I had a broken laptop, that my brother wanted to buy. So I told him that he can have it for 100 bucks. It was a 1k gaming laptop 2 years ago, (i7, gtx 960m, 16gb ddr4). But I didn't know how much it would cost to repair. So I was happy with the price and so was him.
He told me he would pay by the end of June.
Hi didn't pay. He repaired the laptop for free by asking his boss, that used to be my friend (I'll probably tell you guys about that in another rant, best friend, got in a fight, stopped talking, next day my brother asked him for a job).
A month later, mid July, I told him I needed the money.
He literally said:
"I don't care for what you need. I'll pay you when I think it is a relevant expense, now I have money only for buying tools and investing in my career".
He was buying 15 usd pens (not only 1), because he wants to have expensive crap.
That was a bit disgusting, but not shocking. (I'm used to his little brat attitude, he's 26 btw).
I thought to myself. Ok, you want to be a bitch?. Then pay more.
I told him that he appreciated a good that wasn't his and that he should either pay now or agree to a new price. He didn't like that idea, but eventually we agreed to make it 300usd.
And one of the clauses was.
"I shouldn't ask him to pay." 🙄
He would pay when he could. (entitled brat attitude again). Ok. Fine.
It's been a month from that. He teased that he would pay 3 weeks ago. And he didn't. I asked him how was the "not asking for payment clause", because he did the teasing and I wanted to know if that kind of shitty mind games was part of the deal.
So that's the background story for the laptop.
Now time for a dinner story.
We share dinner once or twice a week. And when any one is short in money we keep a tally on who's been paying.
When I have money I just let the tally go in my favor, an buy him dinner whenever he says his short on money.
Note: Here, fries and soda are not part of the price, so the one that is short on money pays the fries and soda.
Today it was not one of those days. (Dinner here is about 15 USD for 2, with fries, and soda, nothing fancy, nor healthy, but an exuse to hang out with my only brother that would not eat a salad even if it was free).
I owed him 10 bucks, and he owed me 1 dinner. I asked him if he's buying dinner today. He said that the tally is even because last meal I didn't pay the chips. 🧐. (That was settled because I didn't pay once, but made up for it later)
Again with his entitled ass shitty attitude.
I just said. I don't want to hear your excuses. Here's your money. I want my laptop tomorrow, I'll sell first thing Monday. And tell me how much did you spend on repairs and parts and I'll pay you.
And now I'm sad. 🙃
Mainly, because is just so fucking boring to deal with a person that counts every penny. I fed him for 10 year while he was having problems, (alcohol and depression), And now he comes with this shitty ass counting pennies attitude, wtf?
I literally felt poorer just by counting the cents that made part of this story. (Really, who the fucks keeps track of chips and soda??? What are we 15yo??)))
It's one thing to be trapped in a 3rd world country where everyone is trying to fuck you. You learn to deal with that shit. And it's ok.
But seeing that your little brother is learning the same cheap trickery is just sad. The same cheap approach to life. The same easy and pathetic mind games is just fucking sad.
I don't even mind the money anymore. I was short on cash 2 months ago, I'm gladly better now. But finding out that he's becoming a little scammer is a bummer.
I just needed to vent. I think I should stop enabling him. And maybe keep some distance, it is fucking depressing to be counting cents to settle an argument. By dealing with that fucktard I end up counting cents just to figure out who's right.10 -
Me : it is 12 A.M. now. I should sleep.
Mind : Okay. 10 more minutes.
Me : (At 12:30) Okay. I will sleep now.
Mind : 10 more minutes, please.
Me: (At 4 A.M.) i should sleep now.
Mind : LOL. 10 more....2 -
Craziest and most mind blowing CS project, I've seen so far. What's yours?
https://github.com/mame/quine-relay1 -
It says here https://lingolex.com/ants.htm that ant brain has 250000 brain cells, so 40000 ants add up to one human.
The biggest unitary colony found so far has something over 300 millions of ants. They also form federations also called megacolonies and those spread across large areas and are estimated over a billion.
They have insect version of agriculture and they can decide what is the purpose of an ant when it's egg is laid (also depends on time of the year). They don't fight other ants with the same smell, which pretty much carries down.
What are they thinking about all day? Are they like "let's lay three more billions and then take over" or is it more like "how does my butt smell to you? let's eat that leaf" Because if they have hive mind as they say then they add up to some serious intelligence :-|
>.>
<.<
¯\(0_o)/¯7 -
The wildest part about the new Algo algorithm is that I'm now getting notifications from rants that I made from like 3 weeks ago. It's kinda of like a royalty check.3
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Do you ever feel like the world around you is falling apart and the more you try to grasp onto something, that piece brakes off as well? I need change...5
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“You’ll be working in a fast-paced environment…” ALWAYS means “We’re incompetent, we don’t realize it, we don’t hire enough people to spread out the workload, we don’t have a real process, and we’ll blame you, the new guy, the first time something goes wrong.”4
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That moment...after hours of fighting with the internet and the part of your mind that says you can't....found a fix for a bug
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Read a blog post at work yesterday from the company head of IT security. Line 1:
As part of our company policy we enforce the use of usernames and passwords, known as two factor authentication. However we also need to ensure.....
Stopped listening at this point as I hit Google to confirm the definition of two factor auth.
Nope I'm not loosing my mind, the blog post is insane....1 -
Cause day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night) -
More than 3GB ram is useless on android phones. Change my mind.
I bought cheap lg g5. It has 4gb ram (my old phone had 1gb ram). I have opened chrome with 4 tabs, an AAA game, devRant, Instagram, a vpn app, android settings and I'm listening music. There is still free 1,2 gb ram. Also this is not my everyday usage. I use maximum 3 apps at same time.22 -
Meeting: Here is the brief. Its specific. Inplement it.
Me: It's done. Gone live.
Client: Can you just change the whole thing to be completely different to my original specific spec? It'll only take a minutes?
Me:
1 -
Is it possible to find a fix to a bug while you’re having a lucid dream?
Because as soon as I woke up I ran to my computer and heck it actually worked!
Which would mean subconscious mind knows why every error is occurring and how to fix it.
Which means our subconscious mind is playing our conscious mind.
Superiority complex.10 -
FUCKING SHITTY PHP WITH NO FUCKING COMMENTS AND A JOKE OF A DOCUMENTATION WELL I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THAT BUGS HAPPENING NONE OF THIS CODE MAKES SENSE AND IT APPEARS TO BE HELD TOGETHER BY DUCT TAPE AND PRAYERS AND IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE FUCKING 200 LINE FUNCTION WITH A NAME LIKE 'transformData' WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DOES IT DO I SWEAR TO GOD THIS CODEBASE NEEDS TO BE FIREBOMBED10
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Here's a thought!
Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.
Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.
Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?
But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?
It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?26 -
Mind of a programmer in an Interview be like:-
Interviewer:- What's your name?
Programmer:- My name is Alice. (In mind printf("my name is %s ",name);)
Interviewer:- Where are you from?
Programmer:- India. (In mind location = &India;)11 -
Interviewed for a company that needed help with an Ecommerce website, after which I was given a take home assignment to create a small web page displaying books from a DB.
The instructions specifically said to write it in any language or even pseudocode... Upon turning in the working solution I was rejected for not picking their current Ecommerce framework.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Clearly they forgot to list "mind reader" in the job description...2 -
There's this thought that keeps popping up in my head more frequently recently.
We are people who do heavy mind work. Our quality of life directly depends on our ability to come up with solutions. We've been training our minds for years, for decades, to get to the point where we are now.
Now stop for a moment. And imagine. You wake up one morning and you realize you can no longer code. You forgot all of it. You still can copy-paste answers from SO, but you don't know what questions to ask to get to those answers.... Your mind has pulled the DROP TABLE PROGRAMMING;COMMIT; stunt. From hero to zero in just 1 night.
You have no clue what happened, no idea whether you will recover. How does that affect your identity? Would you still try to climb the programmers' tree to the sweet spot you are in now? Would you choose some simpler profession instead, considering your age and time required to master that other profession? If you choose another profession - what would it be?
What would you do with your personal projects? You can't continue them yourself obviously... Would you let them die with the loss of your skills?
How closely is your profession related to your identity?
Now that I consider myself a person who's quite good in the field, this is becoming one of my fears. Sadly, it'll most likely come true someday. Either some accident or just old age, or even diseases/conditions at younger ages - there are so many things that could mess up your mind - the sole tool critical for our profession [to the picky ones: lumbers can't swing axes w/o hands, postman can't deliver mail w/o legs, politics can't lie without tongues, and we, engineers, cannot build with our minds even slightly off].7 -
Today's assignment made @safiullah lose his mind.He literally wrote:
void someFunc(int x)
{
x = x ;
}7 -
TDD has not been proven in studies to provide substantial reduction in cyclomatic complexity or other metrics of software development.
17 -
!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
TLDR: There's some days where the Gods of IT are not with you. Just lost a whole day of work.
So this morning, we (me and my team) big performance issues with our web app. Lot's of requests time out, big latency, etc
Try to ssh to VPS, latency of 10 seconds between user input and output.
Usual checks: RAM ok, Proc ok, hard drive ok, reboot server (20 minutes), update/upgrade
We decide to call OVH. After 15 minutes call, we try to reboot in rescue mode. Reboot fails at 60% + everything freezes.
After an hour, OVH opens an incident ticket on +200 vps instances (including mine) everything is down during +1h
Finally everything is okay ! Even had time to migrate my new database schema.
Still, quick heavy on the mind but feels good to go home with everything working out correctly
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I still remember the moment when I found out that there's something other than Internet Explorer ("The Internet program" back then for me), named Firefox (v2.7).
It was simple stuff like tabs that fascinated me, it's an experience similar to learning a second language and opening up your mind and understand the abstract idea of everything.1 -
There are some developers that are cool and I wouldn't mind being friends with, and than there are some developer who I wouldn't mind crashing their computer with viruses and deleting all their files.3
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Hello fellow devs, how do you clear your mind when you cant make something work? I think most of you had this feeling like 'fuck that, creating from beggining will be easier'1
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Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"
So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes4 -
I don't mind profanity in a rant, but I do mind it if directed at others(especially other DevRanters) in the comments.
Respect the community people!8 -
When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.3
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!rant
I have a question; when I get interrupted while coding (dinner, friends etc) I'm often "stuck" in my head while just thinking about the problem I were to solve in the code. Anyone else have this? Does it have a name and any tips to "let the code go" while not coding?5 -
Started a new job at a big firm (previously came from a startup). Both do "scrum". Still have my mind blown because at the new job, we have people join the standup of which NOBODY in the team knows what their role is on the product...
Does this happen often in big corporates?5 -
Be who you are and say what you will, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
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I haven't coded anything for months now, maybe 1.5 to 2 years even, because I was struggling with depression and unresolved issues. I'm still not out of it, and I'm not seeing anyone for now because of quarantine, but I've been taking antidepressants during the last months (prescribed by a doctor) and they're beginning to have a good effect. I'm feeling better by the day, and I'm looking forward to seeing a professional and getting better without the medication after the end of the coronacrisis (which isn't something I would have thought sometime ago, so that's encouraging).
Anyway, today I took my laptop and started coding again, and I really liked it, but it really felt like my mind was fucking rusted after all this time. It took me like 3 hours to write 60 limes of code. I know that by keeping coding a bit everyday I will find my old skills again, but I was wondering if you had any tip to ease the start, like doing code exercises, or trying to make a simple project. I'll take any tip to get back on the train again, as quickly and smoothly as possible.
Second question : please comfort me and tell me I'm not the only one who is suffering or has suffered from rusted mind syndrome.4 -
Can someone tell me why C++ and python are so widely used in the AI department? I kind of understand… you want maximum performance (plus GPU) with C++ or easy logic with Python but still, it seems like other languages would still have there benefits in AI. It just doesn't make sense to me, why isnt it like every single other part of computer science where everyone under 22 thinks "now this is what JavaScript was made for!" (I mean js is used so much in other parts of cs, why not AI). Am I missing something? Maybe the resources are missing for AI in other languages? Can someone please expand12
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My wife and all of our friends are Brazilian. When they are all talking in a group in Portuguese, my mind wonders off and wishing I was back doing my coding.
Like, if you want to include me, talk my language! English, PHP, JavaScript... All acceptable.2 -
Procrastination is not a bad thing as opposed to how society describes it. It's where ideas and new strategies are invented. Of course if you procrastinate all day then it may be an issue of not getting things done, but fighting it all the time does not help.
The mind is trying to tell you something, let it flow.6 -
When client for past few days tells you how important that new feature he wants is, and you should get to it asap.
But then when you actually start working on it after discussing it, specification creation and preparations, with mind set and focused, he tells you:
- 'Know what? I will need that change in the old feature before that. You can postpone the new feature by one day.'
So... How was it the most important thing in the universe again? -
Latest promoted thread on XDA to make the list:
"how to disable forced encryption".
This is from a place that tries to be innovative. I'm half expecting a thread get promoted with the title "how to give everyone your passwords/identity/credit cards".
https://forum.xda-developers.com/ma...
3 -
Each programmer is a poet at heart
Programmers are like God. We create defects and also kill them too. We spend the whole day fixing a defect, and the patch itself gives birth to a few more defects of its own.1 -
Every time there is a new project, we programmers swear to ourselves that we will code it better this time. We get elated that we do not have to deal with the tech debts piled up in the old module.1
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Legitimately lost an old very terrible project. But I didn't have to deal with it anymore so it was ok. Just called it no longer maintainable. I was so convinced it was gone that when I found it 6 years later I finally realized "losing" the project was my mind just protecting itself from insanity.
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This morning I came across Shakespeare, I've never had such a nerdy laugh in years!
The follwoing is supposed to print "Hello World"
.
Ajax,
Puck,
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Puck]
Ajax:You fat fat fat cat!
Puck:You is the sum of myself and the square of myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and twice twice myself and the sum of a cat and a fat cat!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat fat cat and thyself and the quotient between myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the difference between thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the sum of thyself and myself and a fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the difference between myself and thyself and a fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
Puck:Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the sum of thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the difference between thyself and twice myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and a fat fat fat pig!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a cat and a fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt]
Source: https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
I actually don't mind setting up the printer. What I do mind is when they call me when the computer won't even turn on. Like I have spare power supply's just lying around.1
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Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though
You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it
iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors
Change my mind. You won't21 -
After a rough buggy day at work thought of refreshing my mind by playing with the rubic cube,damn mistake ever the cube proofed to me how my mind was frozen.
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Any advise how to begin a project by fast pace cause I'm slow and procrastinating at starting and get interested later on, which is not good for productivity3
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Ok, here is something boggling my mind - just as much as naming variables boggles my mind.
Can you guys share your notification settings?4 -
Some people try to talk by changing their accent to look cool.
And my mind every time is like - man stop that and try to change your mindset first.1 -
Screw our credit card processor so hard. The powers that be decided to sign with them because their rates were better. That's it. Never mind the fact that they don't make/work with mobile readers, which we need. Never mind the fact that their app is trash and is lacking basic features. Never mind the fact that their support is non-existent. Never mind the fact that when I request a new POS machine, I don't hear back for 6 months, and have to follow up again only to find they forgot about it. Never mind the fact that their POS machines can't handle 2 merchants like our ancient, "out-dated" one could, and so we need to spend double the money and have 2 POS machines sitting on the counter. Never mind the fact that their website is trash and lacks basic functionality. Never mind the fact that I cannot manage our user list (which changes CONSTANTLY), or even VIEW IT. I need to email them for all of this, and they may or may not respond. Never mind the fact that I'm going to spend my entire Friday scrolling through thousands of transactions, looking for one specific one, because their website doesn't even allow me to search for a specific transaction amount. Never mind all of that. Slightly lower rates, baby!1
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I just discovered the most mind blowing piece of software I have seen in a while.
It turns your machine into:
- Application Server
- NAS
- Any amount of virtual machines
This software is so stable it will even let you run a gaming rig as a vm without much performance impact!
https://lime-technology.com2 -
*When I have lots of free time to code*
My mind: I am so tired for working... Let's finish those project some other time dude.
*When the day before my exam*
My mind: Hey! You have some unfinished projects...Come lets finish those. Don't be lazy...1 -
Starting a job. No computer for the whole week with no prospects for when will I even get one.
Doing nothing, still getting paid, but starting slowly and surely to loose my mind...
I NEED TO SEE Code in order to live.1 -
Ever been in that scenario where your mind, with all its white and grey cells in you decide as a singular unit to do something.,
Mind: Let's do something productive for the weekend
Me: Like what?
Mind: Lets program a Global phenomenon in two days.
Me: ok. If you say so.
(Opens browser)
(Notification - <printsomenounhere>.js is released.)
Mind: FUCK
Me: YAY (Endless Wormhole printsomenounhere.js -> printanothernoun.js -> you know the drill)2 -
Tony Stark is one of the most fascinating hardware and software testers. The man has got some good body (to withstand injuries)and big brains in a big pocket.1
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Define programmers
The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks. -
It's a challenge to decide when to stop being a geek and algorithmize everything I see around and instead just sit quietly relax your mind and enjoy the coffee. Fuck me , can my mind have be a simple mind (like the platitude of simple life) sometimes ....
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A good conversation should be like a mini skirt long enough to cover the topic and short enough retain interest2
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You see, the power of coffee is greater than the power of heat engines installed on your boss's head
2 -
TrumpScript is one funny programming language that was formulated by four Rice University undergraduates. TrumpScript allows developers to operate with numbers that are bigger than one million. If programmers user numbers less than a million then it will generate a quote from Donald Trump as an error message: ”I’m really rich, Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich.”1
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power of coffee! never dissatisfies!!! It's like healers for developers as in overwatch2 stating solemnly"Heroes never die"!!!
2
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