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devRant has had a huge impact on my life. My poops are significantly longer and now my legs fall asleep because of it.19
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If programmers went on a permanent strike civilized world would be back to 18th century within a month. We need a union.14
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I really appreciate devs that aren't complete assholes when you admit ignorance and embrace failure. Be a teacher, not an asshole!9
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Oddly enough, it's comforting to hear other devs mumble "mother fucker" or "what the fuck, you stupid piece of ass" when working on things.
It means I'm not alone and we can all suffer together 🤗3 -
Someone replied to the Christmas party invitation using REPLY ALL... his family personal details sent to hundreds of people. Wait, it gets even worse: he works in the SECURITY DEPARTMENT.5
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When you show the senior developer your clever solution to a problem and they come back with "you can also do XYZ" and his solution is much more elegant. Appreciate your superiors kids.4
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The head of the software department of a company I did an internship at once said:
'the stereotype that programmers sit in a dark room all day with empty pizza boxes on their desks is wrong. They are very social and communicate a lot'
Me: yeah, for sure ...4 -
If you get the "What's your greatest weakness" question make sure to answer "honesty". That way when they say "I don't think honesty is a weakness", you say, "I don't care what you think."1
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My boss when:
Conversation regarding passwords:
Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*
Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"
Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.
2 -
A comment on my last rant reminded me about this.. one of the most hilarious trends/pranks/scams.. the number of people who fell victim to this is quite more than what I thought it would be..
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Most jobs are shit. Find a place where you like your coworkers and development practices. Most other things are secondary to your mental well-being.9
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I can't believe how quickly this community has grown! Absolutely amazing to see so many like-minded people I can relate to 😊. Before devRant I had (I shit you not) 1 fellow dev that I could talk to.. Now I have a ton 😄5
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Babies get 100+ points.
💡 I just need to make a baby and I'll have my stress ball!
Baby firstBorn = new Baby("Tommy");
firstBorn.setAppearance = "adorable";
😅12 -
I find it od that 3 of the most hated languages on devrant are part of the top five most in demand languages?
🤔
38 -
Anyone knows how's blueNutterfly?
Hasn't seen her for a while. And everyone must be missing for floods of ++s.
I hope she is doing well.9 -
It's a satisfying moment when you actually get work done on a personal project. It's comforting knowing I am capable of not being a lazy shit all the time. Gotta keep this up.1
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i was graphic designer but couldn't find a reliable frontend dev to implement stuff for my clients. So i decided to learn. Then i found fun in js, later on angular. Then i found node.js and this was FUN! so im a backend dev for quite a while now :-)3
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manager: we had great feedback last week, real users were testing our app! However, we have noticed a lot of issues regards database performance and data replication...
me: oh, that's great news!! How many users? Like hundreds?
manager: no, 6 users so far7 -
Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages
1. Perl
2. Delphi
3. VBA
4. Objective-C
5. PHP
Which one do you hate most?
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When you stay up late doing a personal project the night before a workday -- knowing damn well you're going to be too tired to do anything the next day -- and have no one to blame but yourself 😁2
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"In fact, 97% of the code in a modern web application comes from npm. An individual developer is responsible only for the final 3% that makes their application unique and useful."
😄 3%? haha
npm report 2018
https://blog.npmjs.org/post/...14 -
*receives email about project*
*turns around*
PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"
No. Fucking. Shit.3 -
I've realised in most of my website development I've spent most of my time modifying the nav bar then developing other parts2
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My lunch consists of smashing food in my mouth and watching YouTube videos. Sad but Satisfying.
Inspired by @Linux 's rant2 -
Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.22
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"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"
6 -
My act of kindness today was posting the solution to an issue that an entire thread was having. No one could figure out why their code wasn't working properly. I stumbled upon it after hours of fiddling(I had the same issue) and now we can be at peace. Don't be that guy that doesn't share knowledge. Now I can go back to being selfish till tomorrow 😄2
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Some of y'all post some retarded quotes man no lie.
"A programmer does not fix computers" ~Some Indian dude
Really??!!
Does that need to be made into a quote? And do you honestly believe something soooo mundane should be attributed to one person only?
"Drink a glass of water every morning, best way to start your day" ~ Alecx(read with Indian accent even though I am Mexican American)
"Sleeping in your own bed is always the best" ~ Alecx
See how stupid that shit is? Quoting shit that is sooooo fucking generic and that literally anyone can think off?
I dunno why it pisses me off soooo fucking much. Ffs. The same thing about "dev jokes" do you have any idea how fucking cringey that shit is? And half the fucking time y'all post that shit in some of the most broken ass English I've ever seen man wtf.
The quality of rants has been going down in spirals and with a dogon YEEEE HAW and darling trust this motherfucker....I know a lil something about yeee haws.....this is a prime example.
Look, people can rant and post whatever the fuck they want. I ain't gonna hold you back on it. Just know that a lot of us think you are a moron.
A cringey moron at that.25 -
Well done, Google Chrome, you ate most of my 16 GB of RAM! >:v
P.D. I said "most of" because of the memory allocation table
5 -
You know you need sleep when you wave your hand under a paper towel dispenser and it's not automatic.1
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Ever spend hours debugging and your coworker mutters "... It's probably XYZ" and they are right? 😵1
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This is my bottom drawer. That's +150 packets of honey from the cafe downstairs. I've been slowly collecting them since I started working here. I'm leaving soon and thinking about leaving them so the next dev can have a pleasant surprise 😂
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I hate having to reverse engineer an application you built, just to understand it. All because you haven't worked on it in months.
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Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?
8 -
The other dev and I met with the PM to discuss some naming issues in one of our applications. Out of the 5 minutes we were together, the PM suggested 4 new features and a complete restructure of a module.1
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"There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors."
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i remember how my father was angry at me, that i "only play games" on the computer. Cause what else can you do there? We had multiple wars about how much nobody will i be. Well I wasn't playing I was learning. Now i have my own family, got many life goals done. i dont consider me as nobody but my father still thinks of me as a young boy, at least he's sometimes proud. Sorry guys gad to lay it off. :-)3
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I was playing kitchen with my niece today and we were baking a cake. After she put it in the toy oven, without thinking, I spat out:
"How long do you think it will build for?"
I've never seen such a confused look 😂 -
*get task assigned to me*
*complete task*
*get new task changing everything I did in the previous task*
Me: "Why is this getting completely changed? It meets the specs you sent."
PM: "Well, they took a while to approve the concept so I assumed it would be the same as the one on their current site. But now they want something different. Just change it."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE POINT OF SENDING FOR APPROVAL IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR THE APPROVAL?!2 -
The Sys Admin limited everyone's access on an application through the admin panel. He forgot I have access to the database and I now have full access 😂1
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I'm reading (deciphering) the clients notes for modifications to their app and explaining to my PM what they want. At one point, he stopped me and said "How the fuck are you doing that? I don't understand how you can make those connections. Brilliant." 😂
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I can't believe I never saw this until now. The first pager I used was more, back in the old Unix days. When I started using Linux on the late 90s, I discovered less. Though less is clearly superior to more by almost any metric, it's still lacking in a lot of modern features. Enter most. Attractive, fast, packed with features(multiplexing? Yes, please!), and easy to drop in as the default pager(so manpages don't suck).
It's in ubuntu's default package repos, and I assume it's in the defaults for all the other major distros too. I cannot recommend it enough.1 -
Honestly?
No way.
No matter what you give up for your family and friends.
It's never enough.
"You're always tired"
"You're not interested enough in my/our stuff"
"No wonder you won't proceed with your carrier, when you act like that"
C'mooooooon!
Give me a chance to build up a regular life.
Most Ppl = Egotistical piles of crap.
Sorry for this dark rant :/2 -
Google, circa 2013: We made smart glasses!
Most people: They're dorky. I won't use them.
Google: We integrated our services! Voice- & gesture-driven!
Most people: Nope. Too dorky.
Apple, circa 2020: We might be working on smart glasses.
Most people, sight unseen: Take my $$$.12 -
When you're the only one in the office that codes in C++ and you get this email -- legacy project code here we come.
1 -
we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)
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- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??
Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.4 -
I FUCKING love it when I try to understand how to simply fucking connect to my server via SSH, and seeing tutorials from cocksuckers that just screen some form fields without telling where I can find them, and juping from steps to steps like I'm in your fucking head
CAN'T YOU WRITE SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE, YOU FUCKING MORON???3 -
One of the most underrated boost of morale in a workplace is giving credits and making acknowledgements.
Most higher-ups suck at this! -
interview from the other side. A month ago I was looking for frontend dev for team I lead.
Now I believe that it was a nightmare for one guy, whos bio was full of js, angular and a little of php. Thought that he will be the man we were looking for.
Nope. I've started with classic (I suppouse) questions, like call and apply difference. Guy couldn't even manage to say a word. Went to bubbling, nothing. Ok sth easier, hoisting... Maybe at least you're minifying your code? donno what is. Ok so what you actually did from js? "I know jQuery, did something in this, and did full angular app to build forms, store and send them", but after question what Factory is he covered his face in hands, went still for about three minutes and probably would start to cry but we stopped this. I feel sorry for this guy, but he applied for senior frontend position.9 -
Working on a legacy app and couldn't find in the DB, fields for description, status, title, and assigned user.
I found them.
They were in the fields: User1, User2, User3, and User4.
How the hell does that happen?1 -
I hate only a handful of things in this world. Including: stepping in water with socks on, when the toilet paper rips, and business people.
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Work in the morning and here we are devRant, we have to quit doing this to ourselves. We need to take a break. I'm sorry, but you have consumed my life. The chuckles, feed refreshes, and +1s will be but treasured moments I have with you. Wait.. Who am I kidding? I need you! Don't leave, I'll stay with you forever.1
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Shit night. Sat at my fucking desk to work on my fucking tasks. Started at about 9:30. Now is 12:21 and I'm in my fucking bed.
Guess what I finished? 70% of the new template for fucking home page of one website.
I'm supposed to finish the new design for two websites and present at tomorrow morning meeting.
And I couldn't even finish one full page. My brain is just giving up on everything.
I just have to sleep and get up early. Hope my fucking body get up early. -
The worst infinite loop of all.
while(hasPoopOnTP( )){
if(goodEnough( )){
break; //it's never good enough
}
ass.wipe( );
}1 -
Lesson Learned: Don't ever be so ambitious that you are no longer realistic about your abilities. I remember when I started out, I would give unbelievably short TTC estimates for medium/hard tasks that would undoubtedly take some time.3
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The "sys admin" is upgrading my PC to Windows 10. He says "It's incontestable and must be done."
😃🔫3 -
I saw this in a project proposal of a friend's job:
we build native apps using the most advanced mobile application
development platform on the market: React Native
I feel sorry for him :\3 -
I hope devRant doesn't ever get trends like imgur, tumbler, and all the other platforms that I hate 😅1
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Our support department got this the other day. We host their email and only provide support for that lol
p.s. thanks @nblackburn for catching me forgetting to attach my image 😅
2 -
Reading through old post-it notes and found a TODO that says "fix code" with no indication of a project it refers to lol1
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Our "Sys admin" knows nothing. 9/10 I do his job for him because he either doesn't know how or doesn't want to learn. I write all of the scripts HE should be writing. He manages Linux servers but doesn't know how to navigate the command line (even on windows) without using a 1. 2. 3. guide to what he needs done. Am I crazy or is the "Sys Admin" title giving him too much credit?4
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Estimating time before consulting the dev on the task he/she will be working on is like pouring the milk in before the cereal. CRINGE.3
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is it fair to say linux is the most popular operating system kernel?
i mean, it powers android, the most popular mobile os, chrome os, nearly all servers, raspberry pi’s, embedded devices and linux desktop operating systems. it has the be the most popular kernel, right?7 -
"When an engineer builds a building, it's very well built, but it's so ugly that the people tear it down. When an architect builds a building, it's very beautiful, but it falls down" - difference between systems engineer and systems architect
You must combine both, but the latter (beauty) is less important.8 -
The installer is bouncing between 6 seconds and 10 seconds. It's been 20 and I'm starting to think neither is right.
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I know it's not our nature, but go outside and enjoy the beautiful day today! (as long as its nice where you are).
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My SO always wants to do fun stuff but I just want to sit in my room and program by myself sometimes...5
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I get so focused that I forget to take breaks to prevent eye strain. At this pace, my eyes will be gone by 40 😭3
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!rant Procrastinating the study of Algorithms for an exam on Monday, I go to the play store just to install and play a game just for 30, I see this app and result in 3 hours spend reading the most hilarious stuff I've ever seen2
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I'll transform Co-worker into Co-student.
Personality wise most are like a brick, or a shoebox.
Most memorable would be the radical feminist bitch.3 -
Mac Users are the most technically illiterate people or the most technically literate people you find in a room. They’re never in-between.4
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I feel like most people on here specialize in Javascript since that's what seems to be discussed the most here.6
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I honestly love arguments that deal with programming and the "proper" ways to do things in the workplace. It makes work slightly more enjoyable lol.1
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I figured I would share my Capstone from this semester with a community that might be interested. An eclipse plugin that was developed in our lab is able to implicitly track developer eye gazes as they work in an IDE (eclipse in this case). Before I began work on it, source code, bug reports, and stack overflow documents could be tracked with all of the data on said documents being extracted. For example, if source code is being tracked, everything from the file name and class/method name down to statement types are collected. The tracking isn't on still images. Since it's within an IDE, you can open multiple files, scroll, and modify -- all while tracking is collecting accurate data based on the (x, y) gaze coordinate and the handler assigned to the type of document/file being viewed.
My job was to extend this functionality to track gazes on UML class diagram documents. This means I had to gather data at the highest level: the class/connection being looked at, down to the lowest level: members/methods, their types and containing classes.
Being new to Java's EMF, GEF, and eclipse plugin development, I had a bit of a learning curve. Anyways here is the poster of the functionality I added. 🙃
Not much of a rant haha.
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Last day at my current job.
It feels like my soul has left but my body is trapped in the office until the end of the day 😂2 -
Flutter. And Dart, while we're at it. What is the most hated thing you've got against them, and what's the most loving feature of the framework?1
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What's your most liked and most disliked language feature (not standard library feature) and why?12
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well, my father told me that I need a real job. And you can only play games on computer. Well after more than 10 years when I have 8yrs of professional exp now Im earning enough and my father dont know what to say.2
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Question, !rant
To all my fellow Java devs, what are some things that have come out in JDK8 and JDK9 that you think are the most useful?
I know very little about the new features, but after learning about lambdas I wondered what other golden nuggets there might be. Thanks in advance!1 -
I've been in a rut lately... I haven't been programming as much as I used to and haven't had fun/exciting projects to work on. I think most of this is due to a lot of life changes happening at once. Regardless, I have felt super unmotivated lately and want to get back to my happy place -- coding. Have you guys ever experienced this "rut"? Right now my current job is primarily a support position with a bit of development. But it's not nearly enough to feel like I'm advancing my development skills. Any feedback is welcome 😌3
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Rewriting scripts to blacklist IPs of hacked accounts from SMTP logs. Very fun learning experience. Not really any other cool projects for me lol
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hate to create huge one timers. got to build huge migrate tool (luckily there its not thousand of users) to migrate from mysl to mongo, then to upload assets properly at place. Its also got to be a new api test. Which also i wrote.(the api). Eveything is fine except the time. They wanted me to finish two days ago and i almost got it. But my head is about to explode and code is messy...
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Worked on a project where for three month had not even a single task. First week was a nightmare, later on ive lost hope and decided to learn something fancy. So in the end it was fun.
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Microsoft crosses Apple with most valued company.
How tables have turned again. 🤦🏻♂️
https://reuters.com/technology/...11 -
I'll stay later at work to get something working/finished rather than save it for the morning because there is no greater feeling like coming into work and your code works great. What a feeling.
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I never thought how hard it would be to write cross platform software. If statements and try/excepts are everywheeere. And I still need to reformat the strings for different aspect ratios.
I wish I had the balls to use this awesome sentence "Works on my machine" 😂 -
The most popular line of a PM
"You just gotta change a few things, most of it is the exact same thing"1 -
Not sure whether or not should share articles here but latest highlights of Fast Company are a pretty interesting read.
https://fastcompany.com/most-innova...
10 Lessons From 10 Years Of The World's Most Innovative Companies
https://fastcompany.com/3067781/... -
Our support dept. got this the other day. We only host their email and provide support for only that lol.4
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actually it wasn't mine. But it affected me. So we had a project website on wordpress and wanted to rewrite the theme. everything went well to the Point of production. Site is fine locally, at testing and on stage. On production we still see old, a bit broken old version, but only on homepage. Wtf. Nothing helped. After couple of hours later we found out, that the admin was updating php version and he left html shot at production, which was taking over.
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so yesterday i was manualy checking if endpoint works as suppoused to (there was a bug before). And nothing changed, so I deeply checked everything, refactored a bit and sent request again. Nothing changed! Breakpoints does not work. WTF! After one hour realised that I was sending requests to dev server not localhost :-( now it works fine.
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started to learn vi. Well, options are amazing, way it works is amazing. But those shortcuts are so goddam not intuitive. Why the heck ce is remove word and insert?!3
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I learnt we are the most reputable and profitable profession in the world and doctors make less than most bloggers...1
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