Insecure... My laptop disk is encrypted, but I'm using a fairly weak password. 🤔

Oh, you mean psychological.

Working at a startup in crisis time. Might lose my job if the company goes under.

I'm a Tech lead, Senior Backender, DB admin, Debugger, Solutions Architect, PR reviewer.

In practice, that means zero portfolio. Truth be told, I can sniff out issues with your code, but can't code features for shit. I really just don't have the patience to actually BUILD things.

I'm pretty much the town fool who angrily yells at managers for being dumb, rolls his eyes when he finds hacky code, then disappears into his cave to repair and refactor the mess other people made.

I totally suck at interviews, unless the interviewer really loves comparing Haskell's & Rust's type systems, or something equally useless.

I'm grumpy, hedonistic and brutally straight forward. Some coworkers call me "refreshing" and "direct but reasonable", others "barely tolerable" or even "fundamentally unlikable".

I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just messing with me, but by noon I'm either too deep into code, or too much under influence of cognac & LSD, wearing too little clothing, having interesting conversations WITH instead of AT the coffee machine, to still care about what other humans think.

There have been moments where I coded for 72 hours straight to fix a severe issue, and I would take a bullet to save this company from going under... But there have also been days where I called my boss a "A malicious tumor, slowly infecting all departments and draining the life out of the company with his cancerous ideas" — to his face.

I count myself lucky to still have a very well paying job, where many others are struggling to pay bills or have lost their income completely.

But I realize I'm really not that easy to work with... Over time, I've recruited a team of compatible psychopaths and misfits, from a Ukranian ex-military explosives expert & brilliant DB admin to a Nigerian crossfitting gay autist devops weeb, to a tiny alcoholic French machine learning fanatic, to the paranoid "how much keef is there in my beard" architecture lead who is convinced covid-19 is linked to the disappearance of MH370 and looks like he bathes in pig manure.

So... I would really hate to ever have to look for a new employer.

I would really hate to ever lose my protective human meat shield... I mean, my "team".

I feel like, despite having worked to get my Karma deep into the red by calling people all kinds of rude things, things are really quite sweet for me.

I'm fucking terrified that this peak could be temporary, that there's a giant ravine waiting for me, to remind me that life is a ruthless bitch and that all the good things were totally undeserved.

Ah well, might as well stay in character...

*taunts fate with a raised middlefinger*

Give a Nigerian Prince an e-mail account and he will scam the net for a day,

Teach him how to phish, and he will prosper for eternity!

Every time management says "were now using SaaS product X, and they're giving a webinar so we can learn how to use their solutions to take our business to the next level!" — I can't help but associate it with Nigerian Prince scams.

The longer I'm a developer, the more I think vertical integration and inventing your own shitty wheels isn't such a bad idea.

Their generalized, overpriced seat-per-month service always boils down to "vendor lock-in, nothing can be customized or exported, integrations are a pain in the ass, and within a few months the bills will explode because of some overage fee".

If you upvote this rant I'll place a million in your account. All I need is your routing and account numbers to transfer the monies, as I am a Nigerian prince who lives too far to give it to you in person

I just received this gem this morning.
First of let me start by saying that I am against scammers and all this Nigerian prince crap.
But some of this shit is so bad that it actually pisses me off. My intelligence feels insulted.

Look at this email. These fuckers spent hours perfecting the Hotmail feel to it. The logo, design and even font are in par. As I started reading the shit, the spelling mistakes are so obvious that I wondered; do these nut suckers know that whatever email editor they use, it autocorrects for you? Are they just ignoring the recommendations? I mean they could've even used the "Did you mean" feature in Google. Or any of the freely available grammatical check sites out there.

Think of this as plagiarism. It's bad but a majority of us can appreciate a well planned out one.

I'm yet to encounter a really good scam email that almost had me click their link. There's always an obvious stand out! Is there like a copyright holder to a perfectly well put scam email?!

(And yes, you just read a rant about someone complaining that scammers aren't doing a great job)

Two days ago, I was solving a coding challenge on hackerank, I was so frustrated I couldn't get one year to pass, I tried c++, python, Golang, same shit, still that same test...I couldn't sleep, I close my eyes, I see this in my sleep, I go back to my keyboard, 4am, I am still on this challenge, 6am, nothing, then I decided to go have breakfast and hang out with a friend, then while hanging out he said "don't finish the pizza, that's my lunch" immediately it clicked in my head that I was missing a logic of less than zero as it was stated as a constraint, I immediately went back home and now all test cases passed....guess what, I now have malaria from not sleeping under the net 😭😭...

P.S: I am Nigerian tho, mosquitoes are a thing

I am African (Nigerian), I just moved to Berlin, what am I supposed to look out for to blend in?

🙏

well... I decided to build my own network for my home lab and then I head out to go shopping.

I went for a router and I told this guy what I wanted

a good router that could allow me access the internet when I want over my phones hotspot or supports USB tethering.

guess what? this blessed guy sells me a router locked to optus. I saw the "yes optus" tag but I was so fucking stupid and clueless.

why? I was just too fucking stupid to trust a fellow Nigerian by telling him I have no idea of networking and how routers work.

the router ? netgear n300 dgn2200

did it have the features I wanted at least ? no

he refused to collect it back and I sold something very dear to me to be able to buy that crap. I thought I could solve all my networking issues at once.

fuck these people, bad government bad people.

I'm done crying over it though.

any ideas on how to go around this?

I've been looking and looking for the past two days, for a less destructive option.

The global joke of Information Security

So I broke my iPhone because the nuclear adhesive turned my display into a shopping bag.

This started the ride for my character arc in this boring dystopia novel:

Amazon is preventing me from accessing my account because they want my password, email AND mobile phone number in their TWO.STEP Verifivation.
Just because one too many scammers managed to woo one too many 90+y/o's into bailing their long lost WW2 comrades from a nigerian jail with Amazon gift cards and Amazon doesn't know what to do about anymore,

DHL is keeping my new phone in a "highly secure" vault 200m away from my place, waiting for a letter to register some device with a camera because you need to verify your identity with an app,

all the while my former car insurance is making regress claims of about 7k€ against me for a minor car accident (no-one hurt fortunately, but was my fault).

Every rep from each of the above had the same stupid bitchass scapegoat to create high-tech supra chargers to the account deletion request:

- Amazon: We need to verify your password, whether the email was yours and whether the phone number is yours.

They call it 2-step-verification.

Guess what Amazon requests to verify you before contacting customer support since you dont have access to your number? Your passwoooooord. While youre at it, click on that button we sent you will ya? ...

I call this design pattern the "dement Tupi-Guarani"

- DHL: We need an ID to verify your identity for the request for changing the delivery address you just made. Oh you wanted to give us ANOTHER address than the one written on your ID? Too bad bro, we can't help, GDPR

- Car Insurance: We are making regress claims against you, which might throw you back to mom's basement, oh and also we compensated the injured party for something else, it doesn't matter what it is but it's definitely something, so our claims against you just raised by 1.2k. Wait you want proof we compensated something to the injured at all? Nah mate we cant do that , GDPR. But trust me, those numbers are legit, my quant forecasted the cost of childrens' christmas wishes. You have 14 days or we'll see you in court haha

I am also their customer in a pension scheme. Something special to Germany, where you save some taxes but have to pay them back once you get the fund paid out. I have sent them a letter to terminate the contract.

Funniest thing is, the whole rant is my second take. Because when I hit the post button, devrant made me verify my e-mail. The text was gone afterwards. If someone from devRant reads this, you are free to quote this in the ticket description.

Fuck losing your virginity, or filing your first tax return, or by God get your first car, living through this sad Truman dystopia without going batshit insane is what becoming a true adult is.

I am grateful for all this though:

Amazon's safety measures prevented me from spending the money I can use to conclude the insurance odyssey, and DHLs "giving a fuck about customers" prevention policies made me support local businesses. And having ranted all this here does feel healthy too. So there's that.

Oh, cherry on top. I cant check my balance, because I can only verify my login requests to my banking account wiiiiiiith...?

I bet I could code a Nigerian prince better than they can be their own fake selves xD

No, that Nigerian prince is not real and it is a scam, and no, I am not jealous and I don't envy you, you know what, it is totally legit ... I was lying ...

fkg nigerian scams

Happy to be here 1st day and I'm enjoying it ,best social network ever for programmers ...been looking for such for so long and starting to get addicted.
Here I've learnt here that I need to start learning new stuff real fast.
Here I feel not alone,cos here I feel at home.
I'm Sam from Nigeria ( any Nigerian here?)

100 dollars to rebuild the whole frontend of their startup. what sort of humans run these Nigerian companies ? smh

Why do all remote jobs on the web mostly accept developers from North America and Europe?

I am a Nigerian who has been looking for a job for a while now since I had to quit my previous job and most remote jobs I find online are either only accepting candidates from North America or from Europe. Is there a reason for this? Tax issues or what? If it is due to tax issues then why do they accept application from other continents? What happened to Africa?

Hello guys, mom just got an iPhone 8 from a friend who lives in the US and it seems it's network locked as no Nigerian sim card works. What are my options in removing this lock?

Hello any Nigerian here?