Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

Design team: "Is it okay if I put this here?"

Me: "No, it's not okay if you put that there."

Design team: "Are you sure? It'd be really cool if I could put that there."

Me: "No, I will need to fuck with a lot of things if you put that there, just put it in the bootstrap columns."

Design team: "Hold on, lemme see if it's okay to put that there."

Lead-dev: "He's right, you shouldn't put that there."

Company: "We should have a meeting to discuss where the design team can and can't put things."

Lead-dev: "Just put the things in the middle and devide them in these twelve columns on seperate rows, 'kay?"

Company: "Okay, the design team will now put the thing in those things, right design team?"

Design team: "Yes, we agree to putting the thing where we should put the thing."

Me: "So where do you want the thing now?"

Design team: "I want it all the way to the right, outside of the container, that'd look cool."

Me: "Fuck you."

Me: would you like me to design the website as well?
Client: no, we have a web designer. you just have to implement it.
Me: *receives the design, made with powerpoint* 😐

So I have been temporarily assigned to new team .. moving from mainly backend.. to help the Web team ..

Me .: Aight guys .. what we working with ?
Team: MVC .net
Me: awesome ..
Team: but we have our own version of MVC .
Me : 🤔 your own MVC ?
Team: yeh we only buse controllers.. but no models at all ?
Me.: 😲 So where does the view gets its data from ?
Team : from Azure functions apps.
M: how ?
T: ( in very proud tone ) .. we use js to call all functions.
M: so why not just use HTML pages . Why MVC then !
T: coz MVC is modern architecture design.
M: but you not using it and all of calles to the functions are exposed publicly.
T: 🧐 THIS IS MODERN DESIGN !!
M: 🤪 My bad .. what the hell do I know ! I only been developing MVC applications for 7 years !!
Please tell me more about your " Modern Design "
🤮🤮🤮

Just got BUGS list from our Client and fuck- 95% of bugs are not even bugs :|

- No, changing the (not pre-decided) verbiage is not a bug
- Adding two more pages in the app is not a bug (what the fuck :|)
- No, APK file not running in iPhone is not a bug (goddamn :|)
- No, adding these "fuckin new" functionalities is not a bug (seriously ? :/)

AND

Mr "used to be a good coder" PM,

Getting "504 Timeout Gateway" error because Server is temporarily down is NOT a fuckin frontend bug

And No, writing Javascript with a proper design architecture is not a "complicated" way of coding
and fuckin No, Global variables and functions without any architecture don't make the programming "kind of better"

ps: And VB dot net is not a fuckin scripting language, VBScript is.

Thank you,
"buggy average coder"

Client: Saw you did some cool logos...can you design us a logo as well?

Me: sure, do you have any ideas already?

Client: no

Me: Whats the name of the company/project?

Client: We don't know yet.

Me: FUCK YOU!!!

Client: [sends design as a tiny, badly compressed jpg] "I need this site done by tomorrow"
Me: ok, can you send me the psd?
C: "no, I don't have it"
Me: ok can you send me the images you want on the site?
C: no
Me: what about the text?
C: no
Me:.....
C: I have to go to bed

!rant
Bootstrap is a bleesing for people with close to no artistic/design skills, like me. 😊

That moment when the client is actually happy with your design. From the beginning.
And requests no changes.

Creating a personal website:
Step 1: Have 20mins of inspiration.
Step 2: Spend a day writing css and js
Step 3: Realize it sucks because (ugly || bad responsive design || not enough content)
Step 4 Experience no inspiration what so ever for next week
Step 5: Repeat

I'm a backend dev, but i often have to imagine and create the design since there's no designer at my office 😵😱

So far, i hate him!(me)

No, I can't implement a "pixel-perfect responsive design".

Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)

Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.

Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?

Project Manager: Just do it.

Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.

Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.

Me: What? I thought your design was approved?

Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.

There was no mail from the client.

I thought there was no worse freelancer site than fiverr.

*insert "Boy you were wrong" here*

freelancer.com

No. Just No.

- Limited to 8 bids as a free account
- You get 1 bid back every 90 FUCKING HOURS
- CLIENTS ARE EVEN MORE RETARDED THAN ON FIVERR
- HALF OF PEOPLE WANT YOU TO SELL YOUR UPWORK ACCOUNT TO THEM
- 5€ FOR 2000 WORDS OF TRANSLATION? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? END YOURSELF PLEASE
- "Design a custom social network (video chat, chat, forum, shop and payment gateway) quick!!!" for 100€, within one day.

What the fuck.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Everything that's gone into the design of this box, is absolutely astonishing 😮 and no I don't just mean the outside

I am backend + a bit devops
8 months I worked with front-end person in react.

8 months he was telling me.. git usage is not needed for front. There is no need for that, it is not like back.
Recently he made refactorization in a week time, this idiot did not do even single commit in the process.

4 months he was telling me, testing is not needed in front. Even if the work is complete, there is no point to cover with testing.

Today I heard from him, adaptive web design is impossible to do in css only, it needs having javascript to control right height and width size for elements.

At last. I got freed from him. He got fired.

I fucking hate websites that refuse to show their content unless you enable their JS clusterfuck. Yes I am blocking JavaScript because I'm sick of all those goddamn frameworks from God knows what domain. IS THAT FUCKING WRONG?!! I don't hate front-end devs, in fact I respect them for keeping up with design needs of shitty clients. But that fucking Web 2.0 with 50 frameworks per tab and no HTML or even PHP whatsoever for those who block your JS crap.. shove it right up your fucking ass!!!

UI/UX Team: "We're using a new piece of software; all you developers can install it, its going to revolutionise our workflow and collaboration"

Me: *checks download page* ... "Only supports MacOS... FFFUUUU"

Where is all the linux love these days -_-

Dev: This content might be too large to fit into this area on mobile.
We might need to add scrolling or design it differently.

Designer: It fits perfectly in the design.

Dev: But the user might have a smaller screen size than in the design.

Designer: We don‘t optimize for small screens.

Dev: But we still need to handle it somehow.
Also, the text might be longer for other languages.

Designer: No problem, we will provide short text for all translations.

Dev: We have 30 languages and the translations are made by a third party. We can not control it.

Designer: We‘ll manage somehow.

Dev: Also, the user might be using an accessibility setting on the device which makes the font size larger.

Designer: Unlikely

Dev: Also, the available screen size might be reduced by the on-screen keyboard.

Designer: … Ok then.

-

It‘s always a conversation like this. It repeats indefinitely.

I am developer.

Discussing the design of our App, he asked me whether I have used tinder. I replied, "No, never had to..."

He laughed out hard and also told his colleague this joke.

I am a developer.
But... I am also a gamer, not a player 😎
I dont need tinder, I have Counter-Strike.

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C. A. R. Hoare

I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.

My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!

I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!

WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.

Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!

We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!

I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.

YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!

You know what REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF? Two pupils in my school won a local IT award FOR CODING A FUCKING PHP VOTING SITE WHICH DESIGN WAS SO FUCKING UGLY I WANT TO VOMIT. THE SITE IS SO FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT AND THERE ARE NO IPS LOGGED TO PREVENT IT. WHAT THE FUCK. THE QUESTIONS ARE FUCKING HARDCODED AND THE RESULT NUMBERS ARE STORED IN A TXT FILE THAT IS ACCESSIBLE WITH THE RIGHT URL

I tend to respect project managers who came from production (ie. who can code, design, or produce something tangible), vs. "professional" managers who have no idea how the work is actually done.

Sadly I didn't encounter many.

In college we were assigned to groups for a semester long project. One of the guys in my group made it abundantly clear that he had been programming far longer than the rest of us and that this project was beneath him. On the other hand, at my school the program for graphic design and development shared many core classes that required programming knowledge. It was common to encounter students who had no experience at all even in intermediate level courses. Fast forward to the end of the semester right before finals. We are working on this project together and one of my team members accidentally creates a directory in the wrong folder(graphic design student). So the experienced guy, who had become convinced that we were only slowing him down, tells him to just type "rm -rf /". Everything on this poor kids whole hard drive...gone. Design projects due the next week all deleted. He ended up having to retake a few of the courses simply because that dude was a dick.

Why are all flat and fully closed design raspberry pi zero cases either only available in a fucking $100 bundle or have holes somewhere to accomodate for the fucking pinheaders or just random dickholes, for no fucking reason.

The freelancer...
We are looking for someone to design a logo with no less than 2 years Javascript, 10 years Intel IO low level engineering in assembly, 2 months pascal, 14 weeks of HTML5, 17.23567 years of ASCII C, and you must have a half pint of strawberry ice cream in your freezer. $20.00 firm.

I don't want no sticker and no stressball, i just want to read some dev rants and design my devRant avatar

Want a backend in Node? You got it. PhP using the plethora of frameworks available? No problem.

Feeling like a gipsy guitarrist and want to lay it down with Django? Good taste!

In a hurry and need your startup off the ground with React integration in rails? Piece of cake.

Feeling springy and want you some coffee and Java with your app? A la carte.
Wanna pull my leg and force me to do .net? Mm ok if you insist.

You sure you want Perl with that? Ok no problem.

.....but you sit me and my awesome powers of backend mastery and force me to do css and design all week and you literally destroy my soul......this shit is soul crushing I swear.....

I just love refactoring :) that feeling when an agonic 50loc method with ifs, loops, streams, other shit shrinks down to 3 lines with descriptive and SRP-compliant method calls.. When you can actually read code as a nicely written story. When there are no rubbish comments, cryptic variables and no overly complex if-else skyscrapers jamming all the logic in one conditional chain. When all the abstractions are designed so nicely and design patterns applied so perfectly that extending either of the components is as easy as a walk in a park.

When everything is nice and neat. Only then can I sleep well and enjoy the autumn :)

just some random thoughts after today's coding session :)

I wonder if I'm getting tired of making websites for people. I just "fired" two longtime clients today without really caring all that much. Not for no reason. They just were asking too much for too little. And I was getting bored of them. When I think about what I want to do in my spare time, the first thing I think about is creative writing. The last thing I think about is code and website design. It didn't used to be this way.

A PCB I designed on the job over the last weeks shipped today! A benefit of hardware is the haptic element you have at the end of the design process - you made something touchable. (I am proud.)
Also, errors made earlier in the design process are permanent now. But other than on my software my design got reviewed, so I'm optimistic it'll not contain many if any.

I'm on vacation right now for moving stuff but I'm looking forward to do the "pick'n place" on monday. Soldering manually is quite relaxing for me, you should try it, too! ;)

In other news, I'm no longer sleeping on the floor in my home-office while the paint is drying in other rooms.
I already moved the most of my stuff - books and tech equipment are the worst - and I moved my furniture yesterday.
My new roommates are considerably quieter and my sleeping rhythm is slowly shifting back to normal.

Picture the situation: My ex-boss (still a friend) has a client that wants a web site. He hired me to to the HTML/CSS and a design agency to design the website.

There was a call on Skype today with me, the ex-boss, the client and a designer from the agency.

They kept arguing about how to client would feel on each page, what content should be in each page and only talked among themselfs.

I was dead silent for the last half and hour and suddenly my roomate yells something and the whole Skype call stays silent as I hear "Were you sleeping?" me: "No, I'm good! Don`t worry about it!". They continued talking and I went to get dinner and asked my ex-boss to tell me later what I needed to know in order to finish the job, which he understood and was really cool about it. I don't think they missed me.

Skype calls can be extremely boring.

Great... Just spent so much time on unfucking that HP turd that I don't have the energy anymore to rant about the many certified brainfarts that I saw in there - such as gluing the bezel onto the LCD, placement of ribbon cables etc. Thanks HP -.-

And no I'm not gonna design and mass-produce an alternative without any flaws, just to support my own criticism towards certain design choices.

Long rant...

*Designer Posted image of newly designed layout for our app on trello.

Dev 1 (me, being the junior, on ios) : so... What's the size for x, Y, z, a, B, C?

She: it's 9 for the small text, 10 for sub title, 12 for main title.

*shows her the design on app
Dev 1: seems too small

She: just make it to look not small.

Dafug?

*finishes the app layout for that screen.
*working on next screen

Dev 1: your new design is for the screen of 1920x1080. But our supported screen size starts from 320 width. So there'll be text overlapping each other and ui might screw up.

She: uh.. Just... Put those that will overlap to the next line.

*shrugs
Dev 1: ok
=======
2 days later
Dev 2 (senior, working on Android)
Dev 2: so... What's the colour for x, Y, z

*Dev 1 laughs on the inside because of the struggles we have with her.

Dev 1 to Dev 2: is it common for her not to follow the design guidelines?

Dev 2: yeah man.. We just have to adapt her design into our app guidelines.

*sigh

Dev 2: there's a new icon here on this screen, so you wanna change the icon? Can I have the icon file?

She: oh.. No.. Use back the old one, because I just copy and paste.

Dev 1: so... This progress bar of yours, doesn't show its background colour, because you filled it already. So what's the background colour if the bar isn't filled?

She : hmm.... Oh.. Well.. Maybe try x.. ? *doesn't look nice* how about Y? *doesn't look nice* how about...

Me : why not you try in your computer first instead of me changing it here by code, it's much faster this way.

*seriously, wth?

Dev 1 and 2: there's additional text in your new design, what is it for?

She : oh.. No no. I copied extra due to copy and paste. Just ignore it.

Dev 1 and 2: what's the spacing gap between x and Y? And how about the size of the box?

She : oh.. I just estimate it, and for the box, not sure either, you can follow old design, because I'm just putting a box there for illustration purpose.

Mother fickle, what fuck man.

Dev 1 and 2: *flips table.
*we didn't, but.. It's freaking annoying.

do you have a GREAT eye for design?!

can you write a bubble sort algorithm in binary?!

do you know native, desktop, embedded, AND web programming languages?!

do you know you can go fuck yourselves?!

good luck unicorn searching 🤡 companies. there is no human that can do all of those on a level that you want. but, go ahead and set yourself up for failure. i'll remain firmly grounded on planet earth 🌎

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

1. get a job interview in google
2. design a kitchen
3. ???????
4. the kitchen is for a giraffe
5.?!?!?!!?
6. new kitchen
7. a baby giraffe
8.??!?!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??!?!?
9. we will call you
10. __time passes__
11. no call
12.X_X

-Hey highonsleep you a webdesigner, right?
Me: no, frontend dev.
-Yeah right my dad needs a new logo for his firm, can you do it? We can't pay right now but we'll give you lots of paid design work in the future and it'd be good for your portfolio.
Me: whatthefuckingfuckLOL. *Unfriend/block/delete/remove*

I would like to take a moment and recognize LiLi as the possibly most outlandish design for any software ever without looking horribly ugly. I mean just fucking look at it, it heavily relies on transparency, it uses traffic lights, it uses weird glowing bars, you cannot resize it, you cannot minimize it, it has this random mash of colors in the logo, it heavily relies on gradients, the border edges are very rounded and aliased, you have no idea where the boundaries of the fucking thing is.

Overall, its fucking great guys. I have no idea where the inspiration came from, but possibly the windows aero and a mishmash of other things?

Describe the most hellish development environment you can imagine for yourself:

Me:

Workstation OS: Windows Vista with network boot, no hard disk and can't save local files

Server OS: Closed physical appliance of Windows Server 2000 with no possibility of installing extra software

Languages: Visual Basic, Perl, Php, assembly, ABAP

IDE: None, just echoing code lines to files

Web technologies: IIS, Sharepoint, Java applets, asp

Network: No internet access, internal company network only

Web browser: IE 6

Graphical design software: msPaint

Version control: Emails

Team communication: Emails

Software distribution vector: Emails

Boss: some 40 year old guy who knows nothing about computers

Not kidding most of these stuff were actually real in my previous workplace.

A guy who was supposedly my teacher , out of 3 hours every class wasted 2.5 hours talking and watching videos on YouTube, it was impossible that I depended on him to learn the web , if I had I would not be on Devrant today.

That shithead who is supposed the best spent a whole year teaching me less but sending me templates and links to study at home. The fact is I had already visited most of the content and was way more ahead in time than him. This dumbfuck was one of those morons who wasted my time more than his. His way of teaching included sending content and not really putting the effort to touch the details. For everything he used w3schools.

Now when I submitted projects and had developed them on material design, he said it's mediocre , you know why ?

Because apparently this moron likes to do everything custom and he doesn't like simple design. He wants 15 types of animations and movements on the screen for branded websites. And I am fucking sure has no idea about the importance of material design.

Arrogant dumbfuck is understatement. He needs to be fucked by a peacock to understand what simplicity is.

When there's no time for UX and you let the Dev team work on the design.

We needed a design for our Android and iOS App, everything should be done by an award-winning design agency. What we received was only a design for iPhone X. Only mockups as PDF, no icons, nothing. So we requested the Android design and an iPhone 8 one including icons, color codes and whatnot.

1 FUCKING MONTH LATER we got the new designs... They are all the FUCKING SAME DESIGN where some mockups were "displayed" on an android phone, and some on an iPhone. Still no icons though.

3 weeks pass and we geht FUCKING sketch files, to extract the shit ourselves. Thank you for nothing.

It took again nearly 3 month to get a "proper" Android design and all the assets. You could clearly see, that they never did anything for Android but well, we had to work with it. Award-winning design agancy my ass.

Oh boy. Gotta love having a team member (For a School project) be in charge of the Database functionality/design, who has almost no communication skills and basically no clue about how to store data in a data base.
Im talking dates stored as varchar(5), column sizes being way way to small, overall table design being rather terrible, no primary/foreign keys, pretty much... Actually no, everything was being stored as a varchar.
Not only that, but there was a hell lot of data that needed to be stored that wasn't even accounted for in the DB design. He made some code that could be used by our team members for queries, creating tables, inserting data (etc), almost 2,000 lines of it.... And basically nothing was fucking documented at all. I'm talking comments like "Insert data into cities table" and nothing else. More complicated functions had as much, or less documentation. Complete mess.

“No it’s better this way, it’s an enterprise grade architecture design” - someone who was no idea how to build an app

Oh my god, that design is just... no.
Please no.
Comic Sans MS + Columns of letters = Satan

Boss asked hey can you build me out a site?...Me ...sure got the PSD for the site?...Boss...no just build something out...Me...okayyyy....I build out a site...Boss...I don't really like the design...Me... ....*internal eye roll because I'm not a designer*

>be me
>join new firm
>only developer
>Task : Migrate our PHP based website to reactjs
>okay not bad, I can do this
>*Completes in 2 days*
>get inputs from boss and he gives
>go back again to inform we're now SASS integrated
>asks for new wireframes
>wtf lol.exe
>wants new design for the same website like of the parent company which is WordPress template
>*Internally : I'm a developer, I don't do wireframes*
>okay no problem

Seriously, if you wanted a new design in the first place why didn't you said so?

Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?

To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜

I hate UI design. When you code functionality, you either make a thing work or crash, efficient or unefficient, reliable or unreliable, maintainable or unmaintainable; but in UI design there's by no means an established way to make something look pretty and that pisses the crap out of me. You cand spend countless hours working in UI design, using the latest CSS libraries and frameworks, but at the end, any client can easily say it's crap no matter how cool anyone else think it looks. UI design sucks.

Manager 1: "We're going to hold a small meeting because of a new project."

Me: "Okay, cool. What project is it about?"

Manager 1: "Project X".

ME: "Right. What's the domain name?"

Manager 2: "Well there's this design but it's entirely made up. Just a concept."

Manager 1: "Wait, there's no more toner."

Manager 1 and 2 take 20 minutes to fix the printer, so manager 1 can print out an e-mail. They both return to their seats. No meeting happens. I roll a smoke and go outside to flip through LinkedIn for the nth time this week.

The worst mistake I have ever made was working for UK web design agencies.

No appreciation for their staff and honestly the worst working environment I have ever witnessed.

When Team Lead of Design (HTML) department wins PROGRAMMER OF THE YEAR award annual award of your organization :|

And Sr Tester wins GEEK OF THE YEAR :|

No personal vendetta but what the fuck :/

Me: "Would you mind going through the intended functionality of this design on mobile?"
Client: "Sure. We were hoping that the content would expand to the largest box when you hover over it"
Me: "Hover?"
Client: "Yes"
Me: "On mobile"
Client: "Yes? Fingers can hover right?"
Me: "No"

My first project at the job was implenting a website, designed by the same company we mostly worked with.
It was very stressful because half of the 2 months calculated for finishing the project, these genius designers needed for their design. Until then, I had almost no tasks to do...
When the designs finally came, I worked on it and two weeks later was a meeting for review and to decide about some details.
These fuckers then concluded, that the whole design did not fit the page and that they would rework it.
Two weeks later, on the planned release day, we finally received it. A completely fucking different design! Wow!
My boss was pretty angry and so was I. We had to move the release 4 weeks ahead, the client was pissed like a stinking hobo and it needed a lot of convincing to keep that client...

It's fucking nerve-wracking as well that we always have to wait in most projects for weeks for clients or designers to add the content before we can publish a website.
They don't seem to care if they have 2 months or 2 weeks, we never were able to release one single project on time, because of these lazy fuckers...

Feeling sick as fuck. Stayed home instead of going to work but I am already upstet about what is happening whilst I am not there.

The manager was gracious enough to task the other developers with creating the templates for one of our projects. I submitted a document before stating our design guidelines and how under no circumstances they should not use bootstrap for the design since none of them know how to manipulate the source code enough to deviate from the standard bootstrap design. The lead developer, even tho I love the dude, has an attitude against new tech. He is primarily and only a php developer still in love with just jquery and php with no real knowledge of proper design methods. He is the kind of dude that would tell you that pdo is a waste of time and that why should we create models and use oop to separate our code into manageable files.
Today I get "why should we not use bootstrap" and shit like that.

Sigh.....i really don't want to see the shitstorm waiting for me tomorrow.

Funny how our cms administrator is eager to learn the list of technologies i proposed. They both gor Programming Ruby, the pickaxe holy book of Ruby and the dude is already halfway through it while the other developer is still asking why should we even bother when we have php.

I get the idea of if it ain't broken don't fix it and being proficient with one stack and whatnot. But that idea of i dont want to learn something new is precisely what shuts down progress.

The British summer results in restless nights and broken sleep filled with nightmares.

One particular dream last night involved my friends messing around with a ouija board and they begin asking in questions. I remain sceptical and tell them to ask it to reveal the solution to the issues I'm having retrofitting a legacy web app with a new design.

The board disconnected itself. Hell had no answer.

Designer ranting about designer.
Most graphic designer in switzerland have no clue on how to build a proper InDesign document. The design looks astonishing but when they want their design printed, they get roasted everytime.
No I can't print this ultra vibrant rgb color. This image has only 72ppi I need 300ppi in order to print this! WTF? What is this color setting? Japanese ICC color profiles? Are you retarded? No this layer composition is horrendous and unusable. WTF? a 60 page business report and no paragraph format presets? How I'm supposed to typeset this shit next year? No I can't print this fucktard, how long have been a graphic designer? 15 years? And you've still produce this crap? .... Every single time.

Thank goodness I don't work in print anymore.

So today a client requested that the domain name in the address bar should be all capital letters because of corporate design. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid request for someone who has no experience in the IT world. But he refused to believe me that it wasn't possible. He even claimed that he has seen it at least hundred times and called me incapable. I don't get clients.

God, the iPhone 11 pro's triple cameras ARE SO UGLY. OnePlus 7 has three back cameras and it's not ugly, so it can be done! It's just so, so fucking ugly. It looks like where you might plug in a high voltage power cable or something. And of course it still has a notch. That's two design failures in one expensive phone. No thanks!

(From owner of iPad Pro - not an Apple hater!)

My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.

For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.

It never came to this point.

Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...

Genius! xD

No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.

Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)

Am I the only one who can't cheat on my design/development stages? For example, if I am doing a favor for someone, I will do it my way even when I'm short on time. I simply can't just "take it from the internet and incorporate it into my project".

I just feel for comfort when it's mine. (no Im not referring to reusing code. Clarification in comments)

The fact that I have to convert a 90s-ish design into a WordPress theme despite the boss trying to convince our client that WP's shit and we should do it in something else doesn't tilt me as much as it should.

But what DOES tilt me and piss me off is the fact that the shitheads told us to 'make the design better', and so I tried; I made one of their graphics responsive by only designing it with CSS (and for once, I even made it work right) because they wanted a mobile-friendly version but failed to supply a mobile-version PSD so I had to improvise and they had the balls to tell my boss that they're 'disappointed that we failed to follow the guidelines'.

Did you bitchsicles even bother to hire a proper fucking designer who would know how to fucking design a PSD to convert into HTML? There's no fucking grid, the design's all over the fucking place like your mother after a Viagra-fueled Friday night bukakke party at an old home and the colors are an eyesore like your own fucking selves if you ever bothered looking in the fucking mirror. Fuck you all to hell.

*Designs front-end sends it to my boss*
Boss: Looks good. No changes needed.
*Hosts the design*
Boss: Ah, well these icons need to be different maybe and this font is too boring, try something else.
*Cries internally*

So I was in an interview for a web developer position in a startup and the interviewer said to me "Do you think you'll be able to help the guys with CAD design?" I have no idea what to say. Does this guy even know what a developer is??!?!? I mean not that I dont know how to use CAD, but I'm applying as a DEVELOPER, not a product designer

You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.

No. Fucking. Way.

My project wouldn't need a robust backend language, or even a fancy frontend framework...
With unlimited time and money, I would give every child under the sun the opportunity to stay alive, to have no fear of poverty or illness, and to prosper in their own way. Only one design pattern needed: HOPE...

So I started a 80hour intership today at our Department of Education and this is how it went...

Boss : Design a database to show all applicants that applied for jobs at schools.

*I start thinking which tables and columns I'm going to use and start designing the database, writes out all the tables on paper*

Me : Is there a pc I should work on or should I use my laptop? And which database engine do you use?

B : No you can use your laptop. And btw we use MS Access

*Thinking wtf kind of business even governmental uses Access for their databases. But anyway, start creating the databases and relationships when my boss walks in*

B : No, what are you doing?

M : Im creating the database you asked for.

B : No, you design it on paper. Draw all the tables, draw the report and the form then you come show it to me, if I decide its good enough you can come in tomorrow and start creating it.

*Wtf kind of place is this, are you mentally retarded? You have a IT staff of 3 people, in which only the actual fulltime intern is a qualified IT professional, but when me or him tries to do some actual work, you give us shit about doing what was asked from us*

I'm a perfectionist and like things done the right way, but had to learn to let go and remind myself it's the clients site and their choice. No amount of logic and reasoning is going to stop a hellbent client from wanting the dumb things they want, even when it's bad for design, performance, usability and/or SEO.

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

Stopid mf fat fingers, worked 2 weeks building a design system and 2 hours ago I accidentally shift deleted the scss folder and lost every fcking file, no git, no backup, no nada,guess what, tried to recover the files with 2 Permanently deleted file recovery softwares and from fcking 20 files, 17 were corrupted and weren’t readable, I and my designer friend use a folder sync app, the fcking app synced the delete and she lost the files aswell, fooockiinggg shieeeet, to my don’t know how where luck I managed to recover the copiled javascript chunck from my vue app that had the css styles embeded in the file, you know where I found the js file? iN ThE fcking cache of google chrome. Today I almost broke down to tears, but nonetheless it was a reeee moment for me.

So as applying for an internship to a new company, they wanted me to make an account and do some things to get use to the website... That's great, until I learned their website is fucking garbage!

Takes 5 seconds to load any page (they import and link so much shit, it's poorly optimized), their website is vulnerable to Javascript injection (in many different places), im sure it will be vulnerable to sql injection too.

Their design looks bad, icons are terrible, no common design flow, super busy. And they are taking about using machine learning and big data? Bitch you need to fucking make your site usable first!! If contacted them and will give them 30 days to fix their shit before I write about it

I can't believe this company has not hired a ux designer yet!

Team managers have no clear design principles to follow, they are coming up with design changes and ideas on the fly.

For fucks sake, at least provide a reference design or color sets to implement instead of complaining to me when i use hard colors like red / green / blue on first version of what you asked to do.

I hate doing minor style changes on code when you have no clear vision about the design.

I think the end product is gonna end up as a ux nightmare without a ux specialist.

So, 9months ago my scrum master came to me and asked me to spearhead a "little" API... 2months work, no worries... I started the analysis and quickly discovered that that estimation was grossly understimated...

I convinced them that it was not 3 months but 4. I alerted to the design mistakes that were made, I pushed changes and made sure the entire project worked, was stable and the best it could be... 4 months passed, target proposition donne... Several change requests since then and we have been implementing braindead CR after CR for 5 months... Most CRs came from design issued I raised but we're ignored at the time just to come back and bite them on the ass...

Horrible design, bad documentation, amateur requirements analysis... However, delivered successfully with great acceptance...

What was my reward? They rearranged my team, removing virtually every good performer.

Never did I receive a "good work" or a "thank you"... I don't want one, I am just doing my job... However can you please not fuck me in the ass!? I now have 2 projects to spearhead at the same time and virtually no team... I can only handle so much!!!

Some good news? Ok, just announced I'm the project owner of a new project, that we will take advantage and make a 2 in one.... Great! Some more work for my lap! Thank you for the workload raise!... Ok, timewise? One month! And I still don't if that includes implementation....

TL DR; did my job, got fucked with more work...

Sorry for the vent, just wandering if I should try and not do my job...

Client stated at the beginning of the project that they wanted a modern, pretty website that essentially had everything on one page.

Okay no problem, design is done and approved, weeks ago.

Today they come in after having the site for THREE WEEKS to review and do they come back with feedback on the functionality of the site? Oh no all they want to know is 'how will the user know that they need to scroll down to see more of the site?'...

I just can't... I don't wanna be here anymore... 😭

So a website is due today. Then I just saw the image file of the design they want for the homepage... Today. I don't know when my boss' wife uploaded it on our ERP system, but I was never informed about it. I only saw it when I checked today. No fucking way I'm gonna finish that design today.

FUCK THIS PLAAAAACCEEEE!!!

Conversation that probably went down when they designed the pc case I use:

Person A: You know what we should do, we should design quick-release clip things so that you don't have to use tools in order to install or remove a hard drive.
Person B: That's a great idea! Should we also have the opening for the drives to slide in to on the side so the user has easy access to the drives. Or at least make the front panel completely removable for this purpose.
A: No, let's have him remove the fucking gpu in order to install a new drive.
B: That sounds impractical!
A: Fuck it, you know what, lets design it so bad that even that won't be enough. Let them take out the fucking whole motherboard, so basically let them disassemble the whole working pc in order to add a single drive! That will be hilarious!

This business philosophy is relevant no matter which industry, culture or century you're in. In software development a user- or customer-centered design approach is particularly important👌

Via Instagram @alphaimplement 🚀

"Let the developers consider a conceptual design,” the King said, for about the twentieth time that day._

“No, no!” said the Queen. “Tests first—design afterwards.”

“Stuff and nonsense!” said Alice loudly. “The idea of writing the tests first!”

“Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple. “How much code have you written recently, anyway?” she sneered.

“I won’t,” said the plucky little Alice. “Tests shouldn’t drive design, design should drive testing. Tests should verify that your code works as it was designed, and that it meets the customer’s requirements, too,” she added, surprised by her own insight. “And when you drive your tests from a conceptual design, you can test smarter instead of harder.”

Cousin sis who was brought up abroad is back in the country, looking for further education opportunities.

Says she wants to study graphic design but from the short interaction i had, it seems she has no fucking idea about the basics of what goes into graphic design. Neither does her parents.

Haven't seen or heard any work or hobby from her that would make one think she has interest in graphic design.

Asked whether she tried doing some design and it seems she is not even aware of tools like Photoshop or illustrator.

It doesn't help that she barely talks at all and wants to get back to her phone. Compared to her, i feel like an extrovert lol.

People who barely interacts or expresses are cringey to talk to.

Trying to talk to her, I feel like looking at myself from 10 years ago.

The point is - learn to talk more. It can help you a lot in life.

why do i have an iphone?

well, let's start with the cons of android.

- its less secure. this isn't even arguable. it took the fbi a month or something (i forget) to break into an ios device

- permission, permissions, permissions. many of the android apps i use ask for the not obscure permissions.
· no, you don't need access to my contacts
· no, you don't need access to my camera to take notes
· no, you don't need access to my microphone to send messages
· no, you don't need access to my saved passwords to be a functioning calculator

- not being able to block some apps from an internet connection

- using an operating system created and maintained by an advertising company, aka no more privacy

- i like ios's cupertino more than material design, but that's just personal preference

pros of ios:

- being able to use imessage, at my school if you don't have an iphone you're just not allowed to be in the group chat

- the reliability. i've yet a data loss issue

- the design and feel. it just feels premium

- if i could afford it, ios seems like a lot of fun to develop for (running a hackintosh vm compiled a flutter app 2x as fast as it did on not-a-vm windows)

so that's why i like iphones
google sucks

Everything about the company is a mess. The only thing that is decent is the people. And by that I mean they aren't shit.
Workflows are fucked.
Clients are fucked. You're pressuring me to get this shit production ready before new year's eve and you still don't know what the text should say and want to make changes to the UI? The fuck?!
Design is a complete shit show. There is a design team. They only make a fucking psd to show clients how an interface would look like. No mobile version (but it's still expected to work!), no markup. Resolution is fucking inconsistent and whenever a change is requested, they are nowhere to be seen so I have to actually do designing on top of having to use this worthless fucking framework I hate it so much.
Codebases are turbo-fucked because of said framework.
Databases are an inconsistent, fucked up mess. No foreign key constraints because every single fucking table is using the MyISAM engine.

And the thing that really makes me incredibly angry is all the "custom systems" look the fucking same at the database level. Like 30 fucking useless tables made for stupid HR workflows that make no fucking sense.

I should totally design a fully-automated restaurant.
It wouldn't even be that difficult. 😕

Burgers and fries? Simple!
Pasta? Simple.
Sandwiches? Boringg.
Salad? No way.

Automated food prep is best idea.

Any tips on nailing OOP design interview questions? This is a black hole, weak area for me, and I get absolutely no feedback on what I'm doing wrong.

I feel like most of it is because I *nothing* about what I'm asked to design.

And yes, I ask clarifying questions, list out use cases and constraints, identify nouns/verbs and map them to objects/methods - but these don't help with the overall *design* when you can't even grasp what the components are, nor which parts need extensibility.

Imagine you've *never* been inside a car, let alone even understand there's components to a car (you don't even know that cars have engines, or that they take fuel). Now imagine you're asked to design a car. It's just, silly.

Another shithole agency reached out to me out of the blue 4 weeks after my application.

The senior bro sends me an assignment with 30 requirements to build an app with multiple screens. Ofcourse no design provided and no API provided. Timeline 2 weeks.

Tried ask to expedite the process and reason with him because now Im in other processes where Im expecting an offer next week so I can send him a link to a very similar project I did, he can review and if he wants to I can jump on a technical call and I can answer all questions. Guy ignored the proposal entirely and wants to stick with his stupid timelines and stupid requirements which he wrote probably down while taking a shit with zero research.

Best part is there was no introduction, no discussions about hourly rate or expectations, nothing.

Disorganized shithole. Told them to get their shit together and withdrew my application.

Working on photo contest site, no design, no specification. 2 weeks until deadline.

CEO: Deadline is one week earlier, and client wants to have video uploads and automatic facebook share too.
Me: We don't even have a contract and design to work with yet.
CEO: No worries, the contract will be signed by the time you finished the website.

Site done in 1 week, including weekend days and overtime. Production on client's server as asked by CEO.

3 weeks later...

Me: So van you pay the overtime I worked?
CEO: Sorry client not payed and says they don't like the end product. I can't afford to pay you overtime.

2 days later.
CEO: The online department is lossy so you have to work harder in the next month, we have 3 sites to be done.

Me: Do we have the contracts?
CEO: No worries...

someone: so what do you do?
me: I'm a software developer
someone: oh, can you design me a logo?
me: no
someone: something simple, I'm sure...
me: NO, IT'S NOT MY F***ING JOB

I've met a potential client who has a popular website, but it was last designed in...get this...1995. The design literally has not been updated since then, except to update content via Dreamweaver. DREAMWEAVER! Sure, it runs fast in terms of page speed. But it's using tables for layout, has no CSS, and tags that have been deprecated for over 15 years now. And, of course, it's hosted on GoDaddy. Just...wow.

Started to redesign my wifes website into grid-layout with SASS. It is fun and I save a lot of markup HTML.
I try to keep the green theme, but I realy suck at design... I just have no eye for colors. I rather would keep everything white and grey...

Why people like Google pixel
Worst design
No waterproofing
No wireless charging
No dual camera stuff
And now no headphones jack 😐😕
Samsung galaxy S8
And LG V30 Is far better choice

No-code web design tools are made for the sole purpose of lacking features in order to torture a developer after marketing or sales requests something that the tool cannot do, or can but requires a very roundabout way of doing things. Extra points for things that have a JS API instead of letting you inject the damn thing.

Going through site after senior dev asked front end dev to go through it and tweak it for design and better responsiveness(he and I are back end oriented and have no design skillz).

Things are breaking visually on almost all devices.

Client sends an email saying it suddenly looks terrible on mobile and wants to know what happened. I let him know we were actively working on things and it should be good in a few minutes.

Looking over CSS...there are "!important" tags EVERYWHERE, media queries are in the wrong order and have "!important" attached to almost everything so the largest screen size settings win.

Why do I even bother?

This is a true story. We had this subject, called “Web Design” (really, “design”), where we studied HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP and MySQL (confusing, right?). And when we get the PHP (e-)book, it was this old PDF (probably downloaded illegally) teaching the legacy 4.0 version of PHP. Anyway, when we had to develop the final project, the sane professor allowed us to use a newer version of PHP — 5.2, released on 2008. I had to follow the rules, so I developed probably the less secure web application I will ever develop. That means no protection from SQL injection, XSS vulnerable and a bunch of other security holes… And that’s how they liked it developed!

Rant

I'm tired of this shit!!!

First I receive a task to create a new functionality for the app that I'm working on and some documentation (this is the only good part of all the rant) but no design.

It's been 2 weeks since I got assigned to this and still no design, no assets, no API calls that ACTUALLY WORK.

Today was testing a plist to get a banner link, and for 1 hour that little fucker didn't returned the image I was asking.

Better, I wasn't getting ANY IMAGE. Turns out that the link sends me to a HTML URL that doesn't have any image... go figure!

So I've been working on this from some images inside the PDF with the documentation given.

Oh! Wait! There's more!

The cherry on top is that I'm implementing a chat/voice call/video call into the app and the framework that I will be using is being created now, and it's not even finished!!!!!!

dev: “I want to start working on [feature]”

Me: “I already started to work on it, sorry for not mentioning it, we need specs from design team before I can go on, but I’d suggest going for another task meanwhile”

Manager: “noooo design is very very busy, [dev] will take care of it.”

Me: “[dev] still needs specs from the design team... and I am half done with it so no real point in re-writing the same code I wrote”

Manager: “just trust me, we do this and [dev] takes care of it.”

*me and [dev] look at each other perplexed and just nod to the manager cause it’s Thursday and the fucks to give are over*

... am I actually a patient in an asylum? I question my sanity after this exchange of words.

guess what i learned today?

i have no creativity whatsoever.
or at least in a design sense.

i bought a website my first website a few weeks ago and the main page looks, well, barfable.

orange on blue? i have no where near enough css experience to pull that off. i ended up trying to make it like a linux distro (zorin os), which is neon blue on black.

i asked for advice on the ux stackechange network, and of course, two people with a low reputation both answered, and of course of course, both their answers contradicted each other.

welp, fuck me.

Just "learned" that Singleton is a good design pattern with no disadvantages. And in MVC the model should be a singleton.

FML :^)

(sing this in the "If I were a boy" melody from Beyoncé)

If I had a job,
I think I'd want to support,
this awesome platform we call devRant,
but right now sadly just can't...
[oooh]

If I had a job (again),
I think I would buy CodePeeen (amen),
by buy I mean I would buy plan pro,
but I ain't got no fixed income, no
[I ain't]

If I had no school,
I'd be game dev or web noob,
I would design like in the 90ies,
pink website showing panties, oh yes...
[that'd be cool!]

If I were adult,
I wouldn't laugh at these jokes,
I would know the hard and real life,
and maybe even have a loved wife...
[maybeeee]

NO MICROSOFT FOR FUCK SAKE NO!

I have a fucking 15inch screen and that left side menu is eating 25% of it! IF you gonna throw in a new "Creative" design, make the damn menu re sizable, NO I DO NOT WANT TO HIDE THE LABELS AND MEMORIZE YOUR STUPID ICONS!

At least do what Gitlab did, a nice small menu that DOES NOT EAT HALF THE DAMN SCREEN!

Oh, did I say anything about sub menu hell that pops up whenever your mouse hover over any of the items on the left? Yaaa... that goes to a brand new rant!

To leave 9/5 behind and successfully launch my own thing. By design it should require minimal maintenance so I should be good to spend my time however I feel fit. Get my fam and close relatives involved as well.

Move out of that tiny apartment into a large house outside the city where my kids could grow their imagination, have nearly unlimited space to plat at safely, where I would no longer feel squeezed in tightly.

I'm the donkey and that's my carrot hanging in front of me

Company has poor branding / little to no targeted marketing efforts

Builds marketing Dept

Team starts the process of rebranding

Complete website overhaul suggested and approved with a launchdate of January 1st 2019

Be me. The only web developer. Building essentially 3 complete sites in 3 ~ 4 months but the design hasn't been started nor content created. And you know the represented departments will want to nit pick at the design for like 2 weeks. I'm gonna have a stressful rest of the year.

My biggest problem with designers is when they have no empathy for the platform(s). Here's a design that I made based on my love of graphic design and Photoshop. Over to you to just slap it on iOS, Android and web. Ends up as a substandard result everywhere.

And, of course, the Photoshop designs look great to managers.

So I was planning on a single page website for my relatives hotel websitte and offered to make it for free ( as an offer for other huge project i was doing for same person )

But just got told that one of my uncle told to tell me that website design should like the website design of another hotel xyz.

For second, I thought that other would be very nice. So I checked it out.

Guess what! That other site looks like it hasn't updated since 2005! No HTTPS. No responsive design. Looks like fugly crap from 2005 to me. Has a huge Click to enable Adobe Flash banner on homepage.

I lost my hope in humanity and I quoted a price for making that. I guess I just gotta do a shit job and will get paid for it now 😂

A colleague of mine who doesn't know how to write simple conditions and sends button code from backend in loosely coupled design.

Worst of all she doesn't wants to get updated to the latest programming structure and no signs of learning on how to write clean code!

Spend hours implementing a working landscape design for mobile app. Priority #1 most important feature. Review meeting attendees decide not to support landscape mode because...well, for no good reason at all.

Great, I'm in the zone.
Typing like there's no tommorow.
The logic is flawless, design patterns and exception throwing everywhere
It's going to be gre.... DUN.

OH GOD A BSOD.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Breath slowly... Just restart the machine...
PLEASE WAIT WHILE WINDOWS INSTALLS THE UPDATES

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.

Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.

Working with a japanese website, and they always come up with thoundsand of different styles, there is no systematic at all. Feel like they just "freestyle" on photoshop to create a design, then I had to make HTML/CSS from it. OMG

Anyone else gets PTSD from estimating time expenses on projects you know nothing about, no basic design, specification, or anything besides “this page of the app is called the request handler, it handles requests by other users.” Oh really? Like what kind of requests? What can they request? Who can approve those requests? Etc... Is this normal, or am I just at an unprofessional company with fully incompetent PMs?

The best QA in the world is your boss. He always jump in and ask you to show him something that is not completed yet. He then acts like a professional and points out the red is not red enough... You have no word, mark down all the design changes, pass a message to designer, and then, finally, You forgot what's going on in your mind!!! And it takes another hour for you to resume your memory back....

This is textbook definition of bad design. Only 2 or 3 lines of actual content visible, and there's no way to dismiss that notice.

I really lost my faith in our profession.
A Software&Hardware solution that costs more several 10.000€ is broken after every update.

The Producer even achieves to break untouched features in new releases.
No communication at all. If you report Bugs, they are your fault. The whole system has absolutely no security at all.
It is unsecure by design.

And even if they hear your Bug report you have to pray that they will fix it.
Most if the time you have to wait the whole year for a new release tio get your bugfixes.
But there are also bugs that are untouched for years.

WHY? WE PAY YOU!
I want to cry

It is 4 am now.
There it is. My obsession to destroy electronical things got me once again lol. I found a Canon printer last month and put it in my room to gather more electronical parts (for future arduino projects).

I am quite impressed about what makes Canon printers so different from Epson printers.
Canon really makes it fucking hard to open the inside of the printer.
Epson printers were way easier to open. A big plus for Epson.
Canon printers have weird design. Everything somehow sticks inside of something else with no room inside the printer. Like spaghetti.
Wherelse Epson printers have a plenty of room inside with a better design. No need to waste alot of time to reverse engineer it (figuring every single cable, motor, and what else not out). A plus for Epson here.

Now... what might have impressed me alot?
Take a look at the attached picture. The power on button(design), the display (it is usually soldered on Epson printers) and the "door servant" as I call the part with the blue cables. The "door servant" pushes the stick down when it has electricity.

I never found these like this in Epson printers.

When the time is ticking on a project but there's still no final decisions on the design

Fuck stupid managers.

My current agency tried to create a bundle of generic Microservices with the hope of save time and money on future projects. That was two years ago (i was working here from 4 months ago).

What they have now? well, a sort of distributed monolyth were if one service goes down, everything else fails, infinite technical debt, no security policies (yeah, all the apis are open!!!) Business rules on the frontend . . .

And what the stupid manager say? "Everything must be ok because i designed it very well, i research a lot for this"

Stupid boomer.

PD: Yeah, despite the fact he is judt a manager, he take the responsibility to design the full architecture, idk why no one srops him.

Forgive me devrant for I have sinned... I'm going to use a website builder to design my businesses website...

(No it's not word press, I may be a fool but I at least have standards)

I'm a .Net developer from Morocco, i'm currently working on an accounting software for this fucking company owned by an American boss. And i'm handling every single aspect of the project including the back-end (C#), Database (Sql Server), Reports (crystal reports, ABAP, VSTO), and design (UI, logos, animation...). For a salary of 300 USD/month, with no insurance, no transportation fees, and no fuck given about my health or my coworkers'. Not mentioning the shitty working hours and condition.
This is my first (job)

"There is no such thing as information overload, just bad design. If something is cluttered and/or confusing, fix your design. " - Edward Tufte

Forced choice between two options which both seemingly have irreversible and potentially destructive consequences. Tapping back or outside the modal doesn't dismiss it. No 'Read more' type link for the first option.

Laws and regulations against dark pattern design when?

edit: okay the readmore link is passable but I still want to be grumpy about it.

Basically every time a designer thinks they made the perfect design and that if the program works by itself that's it. No man, I still have to spend hours trying to make every element of my program map to the elements you put for me to use. Give me time!

Designers, if you're on revision No. 12 and have changed every element of a design it's not a 'tweak', it's a sign you didn't think it through the first time...

Everyday:
Colleagues: I hate when the client wants to make last minute design changes the day we are supposed to launch when they have had MONTHS to bring them up..

Today:
Me: we are supposed to launch our site today (our own agency site that we have been working on and reviewing as a group for about a year), so please take some time to go through and make sure there are no GRAMMATICAL errors.
Colleagues: *send huge lists of minor design changes that are CRITICAL*

Oriented Object design class today, introducing inheritance with squares-rectangles and circles-ellipses.

No don't do that.

It's the worst example ever. It does not work. Just no, stop

I'm not here to underestimate the design of a government app on Android.

I hope the developer considered the UI itself as user-friendly and not the default button from android studio. he just simply copies the contents(text & images) from the government web page and paste it to its application.

He/she got paid well to make that app. well, although the information is correct for the users.

It's not much that users are even enthusiastic of the design. they simply read the guidelines inside the app and no more fancy animation.

Genius UI design: the text next to latest news changes between 2 and 3 lines, and every time that happens the entire website gets pushed up and down. I thought my touchpad was going crazy for doing phantom scrolls, but no, it’s that same incompetent designer from my previous rant.

Amateur design hour - where people tell you how to design that have no fucking clue.

Boss: Can I have you design our website?
Me: Yeah, of course. I'll send you some details for the design and after you approve it, I can get started on it.
Boss: Okay, send me stuff you find.

Fast-forward to two days later, he decided going through my design checklist was a hassle so bought a WordPress theme and just asked me to make 3 banners for its slider with no given context and no help as far as design and aesthetics are concerned... way to get my hopes up then bring them down. And designing them is making me so sleepy, I took a bathroom trip to nap for a while because the Wi-Fi won't stop disconnecting either.

Send the dev a request for a design before they do a delicate process. They send back some mess done in MSPaint and a ton of select statements, with no context or explanation.

Send back an example of what they need to work through. Get back a response saying that the previous spec was just a draft, and once they complete development they’ll complete the design.

Why would I want a design once it was too late? What would be the point?

> finds awesome front-end design software
> build a decent layout
> adds Phalcon stuff (started to use that a few days ago, works really nicely, just don't like the ORM as much as Propel2)
> software can no longer display the site layout properly

FML

PR by my team leader:
"OH NO! This method is not inline. This will slow our program by 1 ns!!! Fix that immediately!!"
FYI
Our program computes stuff for dozen of minutes, because of his short sight and bad design from day 1...

In the interview process for my current job, I was tasked with multiple small tasks one of which was an AI task (easy one though). Now, most of my work is making the text size smaller so the content can fit in one page as the CTO wants.

I never said I was UI engineer let alone a frontend engineer. Also, there's no design to follow. Damn that.

The day I understand how CSS works will be a lifetime achievement...!!!
Having hard time when you have to design and develop a website at a time... I just hate designing... (No offense.. personal opinion)

Can a sysadmin start Node web design?

I'm a Linux automation admin, and I always look at my friends developing nodes websites with poor UI and UX. I'd love to fix that but have no idea where to start from.

Any idea or git project / advice on where to start from?

Cheers!
~ exit

I'm starting to get bored at work. Every fucking day is the same. I receive a design. I code that design ( aka I'm modifying the framework developed by me ). I deliver the frontend. I think that anyone with no programming experience can do my work now.

That this one component being object orientated is necessary and good design.
We have uh interfaces, theyre contracts.

Spoiler: it wasn't, I could have written it in half the code and half the time. But no, we gotta have those patterns, can't miss on dependency injection!

Our only pretty good and uderpayed graphic designed did not get raise so in few days he found company that offered him 1.5 more as starting wage.. Now we will be left with no designer and half of our project being behind schedule cause of unfinished graphic design.. losing 4x more than was raise that designer asked for...

Srsly there are greedy bosses.. then there are retarded bosses... but when Greedy retards run company it is next level idiocracy

TIL that our creative design team that produces our web designs/layouts are all print designers. They were stumped when I gave them a wireframe mock up as the base for a website design for the first time, with no defined pixel measurements.

I apparently hate myself and have volunteered to help an author I enjoy design his website to be more mobile friendly. Convertri sucks ass, if anyone is wondering. Their mobile "converter" is shit, and does NOT make things pretty, at all. No matter what size or resolution we use (because he's trying to learn) loads like we're back on AOL.

Other than switching sites, any suggestions? Our issue is legitimately only with getting the background image to work on desktop and mobile.

We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.

But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p

QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it

Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.

Reasigned to Junior dev.

Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.

So at least 30 min.

Reasigned to me.

Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :

Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.

Git blame => Or never mind... it was me..

Some time ago at work, I verified a system design by running the whole thing in my head, bombarding it with various fault conditions in all phases in order to check whether I had forgotten anything. I had my eyes closed, and my PC was not even switched on. Right in that moment, the boss of my department came in.
He: what are you doing?
Me, without opening the eyes: thinking.
He: don't you want to code?
Me, eyes still closed: no.
He: (leaving)

This weekend, I have been grinding a lot on leetcode. Even though I am grinding part of me believe that the interview process is broken for relying too much on those questions. I know it's a way to filter but I still think it's broken. But I guess I have no choice since that's how the interviews work .

I guess from now to next 1-2 months I will be busy with leetcode. I also have to read some system design questions.

Fuck, so many things to prepare

Crazy deadlines> Director: "You need to design a new architecture that has failover, multi-AZ, automated deployments, CI/CD pipeline, automated builds/tests as well, for our new SaaS product. You have 3 days to complete it"

Me: "Ok cool. Do we have the new product developed? Can I have the spec docs of the new software, libs and packages required for the env?"

Product Lead: "No we dont have anything yet. The POC is on my local PC, but I dont know what packages are needed to run it"

Me: "So I cant design anything unless I have the minimum requirements to run the new software"

Director: "Just get it up and running in a live environment and we'll take it from there"

Me: *sigh*..this is going to be a big mistake

No, the language is not stupid :) No, it is not a problem of the language, it's just the fact that you don't really understand how to use it properly :) i think this is something each of us hates to hear while frustated but needs to hear afterwards, bad design is a posibility tho, but 99.999% of the cases is our fault. face it, nd overcome it! and finally, to grow beyond it 😄

<<edited with my potato phone's standard image editor>>

My worst experience has actually been trying to fix someone else's code. One of my friends is in a graphic design class, and right now they have to do a basic site in DreamWeaver (a small nightmare on its own, I've found that the previews they show are never quite correct). I decided I'd at least pop in to help out a bit, cause they kinda have no clue what they're doing. They are graphic design students, NOT developers, and it's very easy to see that.

One of the first things I noticed was EXTREMELY unorganized code, but that's forgivable. But...I once saw probably 5 </body> tags in someone's code, a JavaScript function inside of the <body> tag, and a bunch of CSS statements in the <script> tag that they had one if the JS functions in.

I remember seeing this stuff, and I thought "what the actual fuck?". The dude was like "yeah it's unorganized as hell, I know"

...That's not the problem. CSS goes in either a <style> tag or a separate file (THEY HAD A SEPARATE CSS FILE). JAVASCRIPT GOES IN A <script> TAG OR A SEPARATE FILE

But, I get it. They're graphic design students. They can outdo me in probably everything in the Adobe suite (except DW as I learned). I once watched a girl in there do a project in Illustrator. I had no fucking clue what was going on. And when I was talking to her about it, she said "that's what I was thinking when we were watching you fix our code"

Kinda got a little sidetracked there. Basically, worst experience is non developers writing code for an assignment.

I got the requirements specifications today.... for something I've worked on for a year and is 9 months delayed due to design constantly changing and management always lagging behind.
Best part is specifications have requirements we have no chance of meeting in time.
Yet another failed deadline. Yafd

Building games for people to whom the expression "game design" evaluates to "game UI design", which a fancier way to say "a bunch of static slides with arbitrary screenshots"

At 1pm,The fucking boss told me to get UI design and code for a risk management system be ready on 5pm, i DID it!!! Requires no changes or edits!!! Its done!!!
Shit fuck shit!!!!

No matter how many books I read on design patterns, there always comes a time when you've just got to toe punt a bull of mud across the line to meet a clients needs.

For my design thesis I'm gonna design a banking app for kids. And i'd like to have a look at competitors apps screendesign.
Is it possible to open android and/or iphone apps in android studio/xcode in order to have a look at the screen designs?

Because I'm no kid or parent so getting accsess the legit way is out of question.

Man im alt tabbing between

Php Laravel, Typescript ionic, Html design

for last 20hours ... No i havent slept

Neglecting the fact that i have autism from the equation,It Seems to me that im doing a lot of hardwork..

Can i call myself a full stack developer ???

Plz ... pretty plz....

Does any developer here does design work as well as code. I got pulled into it. was expecting a only dev job, according to the job description" but the creative team start handing me InDesign task and Photoshop task with no experience in design. is that crazy or normal for front end developers?

deep thoughts on algorithm design final exam ...
He wanted to make sure we fully understood the idea. :)

No idea about my score

so when someone in the office finds a funny design or absurd code on our sites we play a game we named roulette: we check the versioning system and find who did it... there is no price in this game, that shame is enough :)

I "failed" a SQL question once because I didn't use GROUP BY; I informed the interviewer that it wasn't needed because all the fields in the SELECT were aggregates and based on the WHERE clause I knew exactly what was being aggregated so there was no reason to echo the data value back. I continued that if there was a business or design reason for the echo then yes, the GROUP BY would be required.

The lack of one (no thinking about long term design and issues) leading to poorly designed systems that crumble when it needs to be scaled and has massive bus factor and code duplication.

When you explain thoroughly and in no uncertain terms that yes you can help your mate out at short notice by building a working prototype of his app, but that it won't even be MVP. It will be bare bones functionality with no design, almost no styling, no images, no color - but it will work in so much that it will do what it needs to do to show that it's possible.

Then he sees it and goes "it doesn't look great, can it not animate or at least have nice images and a color palette. Would it be possible to have filters on the search or I dunno, just make it look a bit more finished?"

Me: nope, but if you want I can delete the whole thing?

I've been editing sound effects, animations, image assets, creating things from scratch if I don't have what I need, all while I am hired as a software engineer.

We are supposedly an interactive contents company, while we have only two designers (none of which specializes in software design) for half a dozen projects, no sound engineer, and no animator.

I've been using Krita and Audacity as much as VS Code these days - my hobby skills I never thought would use in a professional environment. I wonder how did my predecessors work, surely not every software engineer also happens to be a hobbyist artist.

BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."

Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.

PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"

:|

yesterday morning, released the first wave build of a website to a client, still loads to do but it shows progress. working from my own approved design flats so building it is speedier. no response all day, fearing the worst, finally at 11:10 pm she texts my “love it!”. fucking relieved! waiting for the email today “but... can you just...”, there always is one!

Websites who offer drag and drop are just so frustrating! People asking why do we pay you to develop it as rather they can just drag and drop and upload! Someone make these whole lot understand that yes it's different, you don't get a design copyright there, then you don't get it full customizable, no additions, it's just replacement! Also, the performance part is sometimes deducted there!

Today I think it became apparent why we have so many data and prod issues...

No one understands SOLID design principals... Particularly Separation of Concern. No wonder all the Spring (DI) modules look like a mess of God functions that are impossible to reuse and difficult to extend...

I'm about to do my bachelor thesis in Interaction Design. I've got to design a banking/pocket money app for kids 8-14y for a swiss bank.

And I have no idea where to beginn with it. What is needed? What do kids like? And is a banking app for kids in demand at all? Parents? Where do I get kids to talk to without beeing a creep who stands with sweets in front of the kindergarden? 😧

I dont get it... I dont understand what my manager expects me to do when I am not really allowed to make design decisions, but there is no design at all! What are we doing here, manufacturing spaghetti? Today I asked my co-worker what our product should actually do exactly when its finished. He said he is not so sure either. And our manager is now on vacation so we cant ask what exactly he wants...

Got some Freelance work(PHP) via my friend so i said ok lets see. Those were some college students and wanted their project to be deployed that their seniors built and none of them knew how to fix the issues so here i step in.
Nightmare of a design, no signs of framework, html/css looks like it was designed by a 10th grader, no prepared queries, every file uses db config seperately so a minor change would require me to edit those 50+ php files... overall a broken mess. FML.

In previous company I was a backend developer. All the frontend ones were on vacation so it was up me to redo the whole frontend because of design chance. So i thought it couldn't be that bad. Little did i know was that designs were just jpg files with no info about margins or font sizes or anything really and everything was supposed to be pixel perfect. Fuck. That. Place.

Happened today,
A senior guy who knows how to design “says he have a creative agency as a side business” came up with a new website design with the approval from executive and asked us to develop it!

With no discussing with the developers, or the designer in our team! And his design is a full one page website filled with full page modals whenever you click something!!

And my dear manager of course approved it.

I am not against the design or anything, but I am against that we aren’t involve in something like this. The design is doable, but the page load will be heavy because it contain a lot of pictures, and SEO will be bullshit. Developers should give their technical opinion in the design but they don’t understand!

API provider: include a signature based on these fields in this order. DO NOT ENCODE IT!

Implementation works a while, then..

*a wild apostrophe appears*

Signature no longer works.

API Provider: "oh, yeah we escape those."

Arrghhghghghhhghvhxmchsoxnsoxnwl

Not only is it a poor design for signing payloads, the documentation is shockingly poor in it.
Even the implementation example (which is supposedly from their code) doesn't account for any type of escaping or encoding.

Before anyone asks, I can't into details about the implementation.

Only one day to convert my website design to wordpress template. Have no idea how to make animated submenus. Have never worked with wordpress. Fuck everything!

Being drunk I keep thinking I can't get back the years I didn't spend programming when I was 16-20. What do now? Want to do Web but all I know is a micro part of everything. I can make a demo in old Unity. I have shitty basic skills in Java, Python, Pascal, JS + React. Also basic UX, Adobe design programs like AI, PS and ID. Nothing proper, and home projects just don't seem to cut it. Irl bards can't get no work

>Was given a task to create a fashion lookbook with no instructions regarding the design
>Spent 4 hours thinking of a design.
>Show design to boss
>'We don't need a slider for our lookbook, use one of our templates instead'

When I started doing frontend development, I was quite shocked with how people managed to cowboy code their way into building fully functional products with a decent paying client base.

I am talking about fully function SaaS with payment gateway and all, but no version control beyond full backup copies, and spaghetti code everywhere you can literally bring the website down trying to change the homepage design.

... and the startups that managed to do better, some of them forgot the .git on production exposing their entire source code *facepalm*

A while back I was learning web development so I could create web apps. I'm by no means any good at graphic design and whatnot, so every time I'd make a page to rig up with some JS I would get really frustrated with trying to make the page look decent and professional (not professional quality design, but usable as an application in a professional setting), even with bootstrap.

Does anyone have tips for getting over that hurdle? I want to learn, but I get discouraged by my graphical ineptitude.

I can write pretty much no algorithm
but bubblesort without googling.

I write articles where I teach other developers how to design architecture.

On monday my boss asked me if our client's website will be ready to launch on June.

We'd supposed to start the development last monday, but the client keeps asking for huge changes on the design, and the dedline continues the same.

Even worst:
The person asking for changes have no power for decisions, so very often our designers have to undo their work and turn back to a previous version just because that person forgot to ask their superior if he wants that change.