when your function finally works, but output is different than expected

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

The DNS server I'm writing in PHP (largely taken from another project) is starting to work!

Next to just blocking queries it logs every blocked query so I can have stats :3

A little terminal output:

I wrote a complex method for about 6 hours. Then I decided to test it via a console application...

It didnt print any output. After 2 hours of searching for errors I found the mistake: I never called the method. Guys... that's how you waste 2 hours of your life.

Compilation completed. Output file size: 15KB
*Adds a JSON library*
Compilation completed. Output file size: 1.4MB

SON OF A BITCH

RegEx is same magic as machine learning. You punch the keyboard untill you get desired output, just a bit less cool.

I hope they used a program to generate that as output!

*spends 40 minutes modifying and remodifying algorithm*

*gets the same output*

....

*checks print statement*

print localVariable

*throws keyboard out the window*

Co-worker Pranks #281: Write a program to capture keyboard input and instead output "fucking" after every "the" they type.

i.e. Can you push the fucking most recent commits

Do you want the fucking paperwork today, bossman

I can't do that today, the fucking coffee machine is not working

I just got banned in a chat group because I sent a video with the output of "sl" with the caption:

"I am currently hacking and taking your money"

!rant

System.out.println(age);
if (birthday.isToday())
age++;
System.out.println(age);

Output:
17
18

Writing an assembler for my final.

"OK, good, now I just need to make the program write the output file. That shouldn't be hard."

*5days later*
"Fuck."

Made myself a little sparker :3 judging from the spark gap, the output is about 6-7kV I guess. Can't measure it though, it's way too high for my multimeters to handle. Taser, beefed up bugzapper module, electronic cigarette lighter, so many possible uses for this thing 😋

True story. During meeting, our manager asked us, how the data flow. Our lead programmer response, "PHP will produce Son of Jay output, and read by Javascript".

Our manager; "Hmm... Interesting"

Not that i mean any disrespect but fuck you. Fuck you and all that you stand for. No seriously, just go hit a train and die.
You are a DBMS teacher in an Engineering college and teaching to the Computer Science students in the year 2017, where computers are fully capable of playing sports and simulating human brain.
And you want your students to write down all the sql queries along with their monolithic tabular output on paper..... With pen?
And you wont accept my printed out output?
Fuck you from the depths of my heart.
Go ahead and dont accept my project.
I dont need your fucking credits.

My output of 5 hours of work: changing a 'b' to a 'B'.

5 hours working out what the stupid cryptic error message means and reading documentation, 5 minutes to change and test the difference.

Me on my laptop. My flatmate is next to me. I'm trying to create a live CD.
Me: I'm gonna dd this iso on the USB. What is the output file? /dev/...?
Flatmate: /dev/sda.
Me: Okay, th... Waiiiiitt...
*Flatmate laughs his ass off*

Other students:
#define redLed 2
#define yellowLed 3
#define greenLed 4
void setup ()
{
pinMode(redLed, OUTPUT);
pinMode(yellowLed, OUTPUT) ;
pinMode(greenLed, OUTPUT) ;
}
Me:
void setup ()
{
for (int i=2;i<5;i++)
pinMode (i, OUTPUT);
}
Proff - This code is wrong it won't work. Where have you specified red led, green led, yellow led?
Me - wtf! Code doesn't know which led is used in what pin it's just pin numbers!

Gave me less marks 😑
P. S. I wrote comments in my code specifying which pin will have what led connected 😑

Asked to do a technical interview task. It has expected input and output.

My code does what it needs to and produces the desired result.

Get rejected and no feedback given when asked.

Juniors won't get better if you don't communicate my dude 😒

My first code :-
#include<stdio.h>
void main()
{ printf("Hello Divya"); }

Output :- I have a boyfriend...

My first code:-

#include<stdio.h>
void main() {
printf("Hello Priya");
}

Output:- I have a boyfriend!

output vs actual code

Client: "Can you make this output PDF responsive?"

I'm done...

Make sure that when developing software and using print outs to test output to not use swear words.

Last presentation when demoing to a customer I ended up on a white page saying: "Shit fuck!!!!!!" Embarrassment was an understatement... 😅

Let's see the coder in you.
If I give input: 1 output: 2
If I give input: 2 output:1
Only these two test cases needed.
You should not use control structures such as if,else,for,while,switch etc. (The answer is simple) (Don't cheat)

int number;
cin>>number; //get number
cout<<??????; //Your code

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

Spent an hour figuring out an ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED on a fetch Post call.

Turns out I was calling locahost instead of localhost.........

Only figured it out because I zoomed in on the console output by accident.

fml

Learning a new programming language:

1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods

*winks at stack overflow and github*

Business User: Hey can we get a sample output you plan to send us?

Me: yes heres a mock

BU: This doesn't look right, can you use real values?

Me (said nicely): WELL IF WHEN YOU WROTE THE FCKIN REQUIREMENTS WEREN'T SO VAGUE AND ACTUALLY PROVIDED REAL VALUES FOR THE INPUTS WE WOULD GET AND WHAT WE SHOULD OUTPUT USING THEM MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU A BETTER SAMPLE... AND DO LESS GUESSING ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY WANT...

BU: Oh I forwarded some data

Me: *looks at input data*

(thoughts) THIS FUCKING MAKES NO SENSE!! NOWHERE DOES ANYTHING LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU WANTED.... HOW ABOUT I PULL MAGIC VALUES OUT OF MY ASS?

Spent 30 minutes to figure out why there is no printed output when I press a certain button and then I realise that I am printing my text in white colour 😂😂

*Fun with Javascript
`Math.ceil(1.0000000000000001) // output = 1`
`Math.ceil(1.000000000000001) // output = 2`

I hope it'll lit a spark in your mind.

Dev: My VM is not working. Something is wrong with VM.
Me: Have you made any changes to the code?
Dev: It shouldn't matter my VM is not working.
[I go and check the Dev's VM.]
Me: ಠ_ಠ The build output literally states your unit tests failed

Developers Rant

When your team lead tells you to exactly replicate the ui which your designer has done using photoshop and the jpg output is given to the developer.

console.log(0.47-0.01===0.46);
Output: false :/

That got me stuck for quite a while..

Learned more about floating point arithmetic and representation 😊

There is a function for creating random numbers.
So with the same inputs , I must get the same output.
So it is somewhat predictable.
So it is not actually random!

Am I tight?

Getting any output, at all, even if it's wrong after not getting any output for hours.

Output:
true
false

Why?
This question was asked by my friend, was unanswerable.

I found a weird bug where the output wasn't what I expected to be. After a few tries to fix it, I typed in something I expected was not going to work. It worked....

'Yay!! My program runs and is giving expected output.'

** Professor gives large input file **

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

'FML'

(My story in every algorithms lab)

Me trying to understand postgres's explain command output

The feeling when you type "ls" in Windows CMD and wait for output. But it's say, "ls is not recognized as internal or external command".

Fancy cli output :D

What will be the output????

Have a friend ask me helping him with a project for University.
Make an application in Java for Matrix and numerous applications.

Done, but I hid an easter egg. If you divide the matrix by 0 scalar output
FAP FAP FAP FAO FAP FAP.
He doesn't know.

Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).

Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)

(*Got the filtered output 😎*)

When you work on a side project intoxicated and look at the dev comments the next day.

What the actual fuck?!!! ifconfig: command not found even after installing net-tools, just wtf

Who the fuck thought replacing nicely formated output of ifconfig with that garbage that "ip a" shits out was a good idea?!!

I will hate whoever did that until they burn in hell

Just output the web api response like this:

echo "{"
echo " \"key\" = ["
for i in `seq 1 $arrCount`; do
if [ $i -ne 0 ]; then
echo ","
fi
echo "{ \"key1\" = \"${key1[$i]}\","
echo " \"key2\" = \"${key2[$i]}\" }"
done
echo "]}"

C++ errors in a nutshell

(The pics is from my college computer lab where it takes us forever to get a proper output )

(Maybe it's we who suck) xD

People doing those interactive graphics today, will never understand the joy of seeing an output of line drawing algorithm in C++.

I applied for a job and had to answer some questions.

What is the output of $a ?
<?php
$a = 123 == 0123;

The output on my console is not properly aligned but it's an oddly pleasing sight

Output please 😅😅

Member *newUser = devrant->members.addUser("KiKoS",20,single);
newUser->newRant.sayHello();

Output: KiKoS: Hello Everyone^*}₩×`₩[`[+₩$#~¤|♡♡
Segmentation Fault
Segmentation Fault
Segmentation Fault

When you take procrastination to another level... Adding Good looking table style output with emoji in a logging script which is only to be used once in a lifetime 😁

Putty, you son of a bitch. Why do you call the logging option "All session output" if you don't include binary zeros in the output? Zeros don't count as "all" or what?
Then call the option "All session output without zeros", that would have saved me some time and prevented handing out false data.

High quality output is not fucking cheap

* How I solve a problem*

"Okay, it seems to be interesting, OK think solve it generally"

*Solved the problem manually

"Okay pseudo code is /do this and that/ break it and write Algo.
Seems like it will work,
Making all sense
Okay let's code"

*Wrote in IDE

" Hmm compile and execute"

*Expected output : Hey you!
*Actual output : F you!
Me: What the hell

"Uhh! Just gonna apply brute force"

*Somehow got the actual output = expected output

"I knew, it gonna solve it but how it worked?"

*Thinking
*Thinking....
*Thinking and it's 2 am

"Oh! I'm done, I'm going to sleep"

*4 am, while lucid dreaming

"That's how that thing worked, I got it"

*Relieved
*Next day using the logic dreamt of
*No matter how much surreal it is
*It didn't work

Me : F U!!!
..
..
...
(to be continued)

!rant
I'm developing an OS. I tried running it on the laptop that's on the ground. Everything works fine except text mode. There is no output when running it in text mode(not the high resolution one shown on image). Since the OS sends all data that is printed to the first serial port I might as well read the output from the serial ports. Since the laptop I use for development doesn't have any serial ports I had to use the older Windows 98 PC. For unknown reasons I could not get any output from the serial ports so I gave up.
tl;dr I wasted some time trying to debug my OS.
Image of my debugging setup(taken with the latest potato).

September 13th, 2013 at 06:20 AM
===========================

~$ cd /mnt/backupdisk
backupdisk$ make_backup --output=./~
Cannot access storage: /mnt/backupdisk/~
backupdisk$ ls
~
backupdisk$ rm -rf ~
^C ^C ^C ^C ^C

...never name your backup same as your home directory.

For fucks sake python.
Reminder to the morons like me still using python:
Notepad++ is not a real IDE and Console output is not a real debugger.

And here we see the absolutely dogshit worthless error output of python:

Says its the fucking return line where the problem is. Besides the problem being between my fucking ears apparently, it took a fucking double take to realize I had capitalized the class keyword.

So we were having our Computer Science lab just this morning and this girl wasn’t able to get the right output for a JAVA program.
Actual answer: 5.71
Her answer: 6.34
Her explanation: “Maybe I’m not getting the output because I am on a different system, try this on your computer, please?”
My reaction :

I’m half developer and half dogshit corrector.

Dogshit specifically being the output of people who fail to properly do the one thing that they are paid for.

Because if I don’t do it, nobody does.

PM measure workload by UI upgrades and careless abt backend, meaning you cant justify u were developing backend while there is no output.

Installing arch on VM of hyper-v,
Everything was working as expected.

But can't scroll at the end, commands entered are going below monitor output, need to use everytime "clear".

Thanks Windows, maybe it's feature🤔

Ahhh yes Prof, because I really want to be doing more work than I need to be...

// Tedious string concatenation.
System.out.println("a: " + a + " b: " + b);

// Output using string formatting.
System.out.printf("a: %d b: %d\n", a, b);

But, hey that's just my opinion.

Me: Fuck there's a null pointer exception here... What was trying to happen here
*Read comments*
*It's written in binary... dafuq why though*
*looks up what it says*
*Reads output*
"Sorry bud, if you couldn't figure this out... then no one can"

!rant

Me and my bestfriend joined a hackathon way back since we were in college. The task was to fetch JSON data from a REST APIs then we were given a sample link so we can compare the output between the expected output with our own. But the response from the actual API is not in JSON format, it's a string so we need to do dozens of string manipulation to match the expected output.

To submit our work we are given our own subdomain to upload our work and setup the environment and the URL will be submitted. We know how to complete the challenge but the time is running out and we were in panic mode so my friend mistakenly submitted the URL used to compare the output. We already expected to fail the challenge but what the fuck, we got a perfect score and won the challenge.

Training model for 3 days now. Turns out there is a hidden
minor-bug causing a major bias on output. The result is actually within a error margin. But this is so unnecessary. Should i start over?

Got this as wallpaper and just now i noticed that the output is actually "I CODING"
Since the show_love function is not being called out

Lets learn bubble sort!
Type the following code to Visual C++ 1998 and compile it. Then run it. Write the output to the paper i just gave it to you.

Reality:
• Takes 5 mins to compile and run
• Too many errors in the given code so obscure output
• Teacher thinks we are so smart that we can understand c by typing and looking at the output.

The worst part:
• Different output per compiler
- Correctly compiles in the compiler in VC++ 98.
- Differs in GNU GCC, compiles wrong
- sends out obscure dummy output in VS2015~2017
- Works well in tutorialspoint.com compiler

WTF is this, guys?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Oh, and i have gone off topic...
Why does he think we are smart that we can understand bubble sort, and 4 more by only typing the code and looking at the output without knowing how does this algo work?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Answer to weekly question.
The teacher said to understand sorting algos by typing the code and looking at the output which differs per compiler.

After a long time I finally reached this milestone of 100% code coverage. I often asked myself why I had to test every function, no matter how small. But this log output of 100% was worth it.

Hi , im new to programming and codings and my task is to make a output that outputs even number only ( not odd number) so i wrote this codes but its so complicated for me. Is there a better way to write it?

Thanks dears,,

Started the year well :D
Making an app to view our home energy usage and output (solar panels).
Raspberry pi is connected to our energy meter and is used as a server.

But some of you may not like this...
The Pi is running Windows IOT :P

A couple of my friends failed to answer the correct output for this.
I have been working on Python since a month, they have, for months and years.
I am so depressed right now.

No news is good news.

No output means it was successful

Apparently, overclocked CRTs can output X-rays.
Fuck. Me.

Bye (probably).

Tried c++ and Qt today

Expected output: "Hello world"
Running normally: (garbage)
Running normally, but outputting the length of the string to qDebug: "Hello world"

W H A T

How about creating a new programming language named "C slang"

highlights from the language:
1. variable declaration :
by default, all declaration are var, but inorder
to declare a constant, write:
cunt a = 15; // means const a = 15;

2. input and output :
suck(b) // input stored in variable b
spit(b) // output b

3. function declaration:
f**k <function_name>(parameters);

4. null or None will be replaced by sh*t
for example: if(node root == sh*t)....

any other sh**y recommendation will be appreciable

My day so far:
"No, we can't just make that public."
"See this? That's a SQL injection..."
"We have output escaping, please use it..."

I'm trying to deploy an Azure Function via Visual Studio. VS gives me this error:

Publish has encountered an error.
Publish has encountered an error. We were unable to determine the cause of the error. Check the output log for more details.

A diagnostic log has been written to the following location:
"C:\Users\myusername\AppData\Local\Temp\tmp16F8.tmp"

Let's check the log then!

"Microsoft.WebTools.Shared.Exceptions.WebToolsException: Publish has encountered an error. We were unable to determine the cause of the error. Check the output log for more details. "

Fucking piece of crap

Rust: Unclear error output is seen as a compiler bug.
Me: 👏

SSIS & SQL Server: Unclear or absent error output is seen as an enterprise feature. It's so mature!
Me: 😩

How to write bug free code:

while True:
try:
_loop() # all logic here
except:
print_excv()

This will not cause any difficulties ever. Remember to pipe output to /dev/null, make this script a critical but undocumented part of your infrastructure and tell no one about it.

And teachers are interested in correct output. That's it.

I just went to SO to browse questions and learn something or help someone...
And then...
THE FREAKING PRINTSCREEN OF IDE
INSTEAD OF COPYING THE CODE

And you know what's worse?
There was also a PHOTO of the output from the console.

Core Thread[20741]: segfault at 0 ip 0000000000000000 sp 00007faacbff7e98 error 14 in spotify

Dude, please handle being not able to open an audio output... :(

Trying to automate gitlab deployment with Ansible. It runs but freaking keeps failing on task. Reconfigure the gitlab server. Without helpful output!

After 2 days bashing and commenting line after line the answer reveals.

True != true Fuuucc...

When a client asks you to make a form.... With 6 input fields and about 9 output fields.

Cheers buddy, I'll just make the rest up shall I?!?

FFS!

Recently had to implement some microbenchmarks for a project. First time I ran them, I thought they had gone stuck. It turned out they weren't, but the processing took forever.

Some smaller benchmarks revealed that runtime was not scaling linearly with the input size as one would expect for the problem. It turned out that code was iterating over the input to find corresponding entries in the output.

We changed the processing so that it creates the output in the same order as the input and just compare entries at the same position. With that we were able to cut runtime from a few hours to a few seconds.

I'm just trying to install a program… Literally FOUR HOURS and over a MILLION lines of GCC warning output later:
==> ERROR: A failure occurred in build().
Aborting...
-> error making: lib32-qt4

Finished CZscheduler, an Android module part of CZenter.

It generates your daily schedule.

Export options are json, md, pdf

PDF output sample

------

This document was edited and uploaded directly with CZedit

So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.

Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.

Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++

Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:

I am such an idiot, fml.

Whenever I complete a 'Hello world' tutorial I always make sure to output 'Hello word' instead. That way I have already failed and it's only uphill from there.

If PyTorch > Tensorflow:
print("True")

Output:
True
True
True
True
......
......
.....
True

Wait a minute? Is this a While True loop?
Doesn't look like an if condition xD

Just spent 2-3 hours working on code that's been functional for months, but suddenly stopped working bc an dependency I'd updated decided to change required input/output formats without any documentation whatsoever on those new requirements.

When you have 30 min. until your final presentation, 2 persistent errors you haven't been able to iron out for hours....... and everyone else in your class shows up asking you for help with their output..... RAWR!!!

Writing hello world for AI:

Code:
cout << "Hello World!";

Output:
> Hello Programmer!
> You guessed right, my name is World. World Destroyer!

So COSMOs hasn't implemented a proper clearing method for lists... Having to do this to clear my output list hurts!

I'm so used to camel casing variable names that when I wasn't concentrating properly just now I called a variable "outPut"

When I first started coding, I always assumed my code was working without testing it. Now, I assume the output is wrong if get it right on the first try :/

installed apache, php, mysql in linux tried first file in var/www/html/test/index.php wrote following lines there "<?php echo 'hello world'; ".
Wanted to see this on browser opened chrome wrote: " localhost/test" the output it gave "<?php echo 'hello world'; "

I just remembered an annoying experience I once had,

Wanted to know cli version asap (due to some bug introduced in a certain version):

-v (output: view --help for command)
--version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: -version)

Wanted to know it's dependency version:

-version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: version)

You could call me lazy for not always typing --help first but there must be a standard for this time sensitive command.

Writing simple terminal input/output lang (Hello, what's your name, hi) in D.
Compiling in D using standard lib: 6.1M
Compiling in D with inline assembly, no standard lib or libc, using syscalls: 1048 bytes!
I'm still freaking out a little.

I just spent an hour refactoring and output-beautifying a one-off console script

You can probably understand how bored I was in the train

Designer using Adobe Muse can output html. says to me... "Sorry. It looks like I've taken your job" oh dear.

Pissed off:
Trying to write a date function that converts an Int (seconds) to days hours/minutes/seconds.
Get stuck when I build the output-string because I need to mix string and Int. I am used to C# and PHP, C++ just screws it up for me.

just started IOT project on raspberry pi let's see how it goes waiting for the output

Gave boss inside into JSON output for a system he never even sees or uses. Now he suggests changes to that JSON that aren't relevant nor possible...

THANK GOD FOR GIT!

Was trying around new features in new version of a build tool. Tried setting output dir to parent folder (..). Turns out the tool first cleans everything in the output dir, lost all projects...

Not a prank, per se, but I type using the Dvorak layout. It's hilarious to watch people's confounded reaction as they type, expecting QWERTY output. It never gets old.

Hey guys, need an opinion.
Please have a look at the picture and let me know if it's a good practice to code like that. The code still works and I still get the output.

ive never made a friend due to my code.

maybe you mean the output of it?

ive had a couple websites and apps and shit like that where people called it 'cool' and stuff, but i don't want friends who view me as the "nerd"

Hate to admit but I am really not feeling react thus far... a function to output an H1 tag that takes many times longer than just creating an H1 tag... why?

Reinforcement learning is going to be my end. 😩😩😩☠️

(currently stuck at how to put images as well as a bunch of other -motor- values as input... and exactly what am I getting as output again?)

Pulling my own hair out... Ooooooof

That moment when you get a segfault and partially correct output at the same time..

I love "Brainfuck" programming language. Here's an example code:
>++++++++[<++++++>-]<.
OUTPUT:
0

Badass scenario:

Professor: writes a loop to sum up first five numbers and asks the output.

Me: 500

Other random student: 15

Prof praises him.

He runs the code.

Output: 500 ( internal server error)

(He had a missing semicolon) 😅

An annoying type of colleague: the kind that refuses to cooperate and insists on doing shit their own way because they have done it that way for years and they become little crybabies whenever someone new tries to work with them.

Somehow managers accept their baby-like behavior because they've been producing output. However, like my Business Processes professor said: "Don't focus on output".

It's just annoying trying to work with these guys.

Watching a build servers log output is as boring as watching paint dry.

Got tired of Windows 10 giving me BSODs

Tried fixing it (previous rant)

Decided to get rid of it

Purged Windows 10 along with Mint for good

Booted Solus (It's awesome)

Installing..

Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)

?

Maybe ISO got corrupted

Downloaded ISO again (painfully slowly)

Installing...

Success!

Booted to Login screen

Incorrect username/password (shit)

Tried again x times (absolutely correct username and password, I'm sure)

Doesn't work

Booted from the same USB again

Format and Install (again)

Installing..

Installation failed - Input/Output error(5)

:(

I'm not sure what's going wrong here..

My laptop is soulless right now..

Today I finally proved that a pre-existing component was overwriting the output of my component. It only took 3 months to find out the proof of it.

So apparently, png++ is a shitty library that doesn't flush its output streams so I had to use libgd in C++ instead

oh well

When you find this in production code and git blames you for this. Luckily no one can every see this log output, because the next statement closes the frame.

What is the output?????

On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....

I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.

This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....

Either this or the rubber duck method. :)

Wonder if this was necessary

Everysecond{
Output
}

This is the basic program of C Language. What will be the output?

I love nginx' docker container, but it always takes me 2 minutest to remember that an idle nginx container does NOT output any logs

So here's my dumbass staring at the log output, thinking something's wrong

Things I do when I'm coding in C
Laugh like a stupid 10 year old at STD in stdio.h (Sexually Transmitted Diseased input output)
Keep trying to type studio.h instead of stdio.h

Here's my new function:

/**
* Output Debugging information and Die
*
* @return hopefully
*/
public function odd()
{
//stuff here
}

Hopefully, you don't have to ODD too much when you write code... like I have to do right now

fuck sakes

Fucking MySQL workbench won't even tell me what's wrong with my PL/SQL script. It has no output whatsoever. I click the run button and its like "y'all say sum?"

Why are all tools for SQL development so shit. All the time.

I honestly treat JavaScript as a binary executable format nowadays. It's an output format for me.

I choose you, TypeScript.

Funny story...
Got a small college assignment based on Java and Cassandra(database). The database shell was running fine. Spent 5 days removing the random java exceptions and working on the basic connectivity, searched everywhere on Stack overflow and other forums for solutions and still no help.
So, I decided to write a program that would print only the output as I knew what would be the output when it will run. Took a screenshot of it and made up a cover story to tell my professor that I did it on a friend's computer.
But while I was taking a screenshot of the Eclipse with code window and output window, some random syntax errors popped up.(but they weren't syntax error).
So I created a new project and copied the pom.xml file and the code into the new one(I tried this one before and it didn't work). And there were no errors. So I took a screenshot of it with output of different file and opened a different file.

But then, don't know what came across my mind and I clicked on run just to see if this works, and it worked fine. And now I'm like.. WTF JUST HAPPENED!!

I hate filling out status reports, so I build a generator which collected all the data from the dev and ticket systems and formatted it so all I had to do was copy the output and then provide “management friendly” notes.

Taking an online test to practise programming. They give me code that takes two 3x3 matrices as inputs and outputs a third. I have to multiply them together and ouput results.

Within minutes I've worked my head around it, got four lines of code to do it all. Output fails.

Twenty minutes later, nearly failing the time limit I find out that they couldn't output the array proplerly in C++

Are3[I, j];

;( What a hair puller.

I hate myself for being unable to produce satisfactory output.

I'm trying to convert a legacy .NET Framework web api to .NET Core, the project and its supporting libraries are in awful conditions and to make things worse at a certain point someone has the genius idea of introducing Uncle Bob's "Clean" Architecture into a part of it so stuff which could simply look like this

public string doStuff(string input){
// Do the stuff
return output;
}

becomes a convoluted mess like this

public class StuffDoerRequest {
public string Input{get;set;}
}

public class StuffDoerResponse {
public string Output{get;set;}
}

public interface IStuffDoer {
public StuffDoerResponse Execute(StuffDoerRequest request);
}

public class StuffDoer {
public StuffDoerResponse Execute(StuffDoerRequest request) {
// Do the stuff
return new StuffDoerResponse() {
Output = actualFuckingOutput;
}
}
}

Edit: sorry for the lack of indentation, apparently DevRant trims leading whitespace

FB post: I have a basic algorithm for detecting faces from webcam > What should I do to show respective names of persons when they show up in Webcam ?Please help !

Me : What's the output of your algorithm

Author : bounding box around the face.

*shoot myself in head*

So I was doing random changes to get the output. Got partially correct output. Got happy. But I don't know which change is responsible. Dafuq moment!

Sneaky job searching message in some terminal output

DarkSky.

Many options, very high free quota and massive output.

Output preview of go-callvis tool for callgraph visualizaton of your Go program.

being backend developer, it is impossible to show progress :'( for ever request you make, you have to create api, validate the stuff, check for every backdoor and then their is output

A girl in my first year of college wasn't getting the correct output of a program, I asked her to show me the output screen by pressing Ctrl+F5 (we were using TurboC++).

She pressed Ctrl+ F+5.

Shortly after I started working with the windows eventviewer (xml output) i ended up at the psych ward.

There were other things but the xml was the final drop.

Being mid-vacation and you remember you forgot to uncomment a 'file_put_content' line in a function for debugging purposes.. It's a script that runs 20 or more times within an hour and appends the entire script output to a file..

I hope the server can handle big text files..

Haven't recieved a phone call, so I guess it's still running.. :D

Ok idk about anyone else but m facing this weird thing with CLion now...
When i run the program... It freaking shows output in RANDOM manner!!!
Like seriously, the lines which shud b output sequencially r all jumbled up!! I ran it on terminal and it works correctly...
Quite weird for something like this to happen on CLion

Btw... Other than this, i really love CLion now... Its awesome!

it FUCKING annoys me like hell that in the year of 2017 powershell cannot display more than 16 colors and output unicode symbols properly!
i mean.. fuck that shit!

My company doesn't want to provide a good environment and expect max output. Frustrated & Depressed.

My friend's superior, a "senior php developer", apparently asked him how to output/print an array

Just stumbled upon this question and it says the output is:

TRUE
FALSE

… but why? 😱

I would love to have a device with a simple screen and keyboard that I could write programs on, and it would interpret assembly or basic or somethin and output the result. Any one know where do get one / maybe how to make it?

Why is it that one loading screen/bar is so taunting... but several on various devices, simultaneously puts my mind at ease?

...or is it just me?

I don't mean the ominous, never fully complete, rotating circle shit... that's annoying with 1 instance and exponentially worse in multiples.

Seriously, those circle indicators (several varieties) genuinely make me want to... do things that shouldn't be mentioned cuz that'd solidify the case of premeditated.

I also enjoy my servers' preboot output, mass linux updates and generally any script output dialogs... it's like confirmation that everything is doing/where as it should.

shit in = shit out

That's it.

Build failed: "CL.exe has exited with exit code 5"

Thank you Visual Studio for the detailed error report about why the build fails! I can finally fix it!

(This is not fixable by running VS as administrator, also the output file is not running nor locked by some process)

My new passion in life is to spend a whole morning trying to figure out why I can't create a thumbnail with node-imagemagick, only to discover that I forgot an 's' to the output directory.

FUCK. ME.

/dev/null is like a black hole. You know it exists, but you cannot communicate with it. It has no output, only input. It swallows all data it can possibly get and nobody knows what it looks inside.

At this point there's a poo poking its nose out my butthole but only a few more minutes and I can finally see the output of this program, finish, go to the loo and then go home.

almost end of working day... jobless...

me : *running `uptime` on a server*
*for no reason* : runs `uptime --pretty`

interesting output... ( that I have seen so many times on my personal machine because I have `uptime` aliased to `uptime --pretty` )

*thinks to self* : didn't we create that program that computed a similar output? Wonder if the code is similar...

*brain gets excited about the source code of `uptime`*

goes hunting for the source code of `uptime`... finds it... ( wasn't too hard anyway )

now here I am comparing my code with the source code of `uptime`

what a way to end the day... 🤦‍ FML!

Yesterday: Enjoying my VFIO machine running on Ubuntu. Windows nastiness confined to a VM, full performance graphics. Heaven.

Today: Take a system update. Systemd hanging on boot. No console output because systemd helpfully prevents all that from showing. AARGH!

PHP output buffering

Nothing like watching both sides of iperf. The sync of ouput will put you in a trance.

After spending hours with lots of determination and concentration.
I finally made it, the output I want. But, the code is not optimized.... Sigh!!

Game sound coming from speakers and system sound coming from headphones , another reason why winblows , headphones are set as default audio output device. Winblows !!!!!

x = 10
while (x --> 0) // While X goes to Zero
{
print(x);
}
// Output: 9876543210

"Goes to" is the funniest operator, also it works in almost any language XD

#include <midsemester.h>
#include<tension.h>
Void pain()
{
Mind=confused;
While(study!=done)
}
Paper=blank;
Parents=scold++;
{
if(i==pass)
tension free;
else
Dad's belt;
}

.
.

OUTPUT:
compilation error....Engineering detected.

Guess I'm getting old (school) outputting foo, bar and baz for testing purpose. Does anyone still using those too?

When you are asked in the interview to output something like given below with only using JS closure and without using a global variable or function caching in JavaScript:
myAddFunc(1,2); // output: 3
myAddFunc(4,5); // output: 3 + 9=12
.
.
.
.
.
True Fucking Story :(

Spent way too long wondering why my changes in the parsing script wasn't showing up in the output file until I realised that I was in "text.txt" and not "textResult.txt".

Finished compiling my biggest project to date. It compiles fine, but does not output anything.

Time to spend the night debugging and overeating.

An application which can read your requirements documentation and use GitHub README's to seamlessly integrate different projects to give you the output. 😎

if (vec.size() == 0)
cout << "Size is " << vec.size();
```

Output: "Size is 3"

Ffs

I am making a GUI wrapper in C# for a CLI tool written in Python. Obvioisly, the python exe is launched with the Process class and the output streams are redirected so I can process the console output. The problem is that some of that output is only printed if sys.stdout.isatty() returns True. Is there a hack that would allow me to launch the process in a way that python thinks that there is a console/tty attached?

I really don't want to touch the python source files, because that would be a messy solution. I also don't want the process to spawn an actual console window.

Write a program whose output is program itself

WHY is cmake such a total shitstain?

Nothing about it works. literally nothing. I can't even make it run a script and do probably the single most fundamental notion of what it means to run a script, which is display its fucking output.

Typical "forgot to surpress output in cronjob" moment.