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dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?
me: how long?
dude: as short as possible
me: sure buddy
😂😂
15 -
Android app update available! I wonder what they've changed? 🤔
Changelog: "We improved the app and made it better."
Well thanks. 🖕20 -
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea 😐6
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A fellow intern recommended the use of windows server for security and speed reasons.
Few details about the situation: windows server got hacked due to a vulnerability which had no patch released yet and this had happened multiple times that year. Also, the company was migrating everything to Linux (servers).
The senior/lead programmer literally gave him a GTFO face and pointed at the door.
Everyone was giving him the GTFO face by the way, he didn't know how fast he had to get out 🤣8 -
Clickbait will never change.
It's the most stable and constant source of mild annoyance.
2019 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will net you the highest salary"
"Ten home improvement tips using nothing but recycled underwear"
"How to cut onions like a real chef"
2020 internet:
"3 programming languages to learn while being bored in self-quarantine"
"Ten ways to use underwear as facemasks during the pandemic"
"Onions might cure corona, click here to learn how to cut them"
2030 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will increase your chances of survival in the wastelands"
"Ten ways to patch up your shelter against radioactive ashes using old underpants"
"Hydroponic onions are a good source of nutrients. Here's how you cut them with your camping knife"13 -
So back story... I opened up my own company a while back. I provide not only general IT and phone repair etc but I also do ethical penetration testing and patch the holes.
Before opening my own business me and some buddy's went out to a bowling ally and bar to have a few drinks. I wanted to see what their network was like... I hacked into their entire network in less than two minutes. From my iPhone. I was in their switches, I was configuring their printers and fax machines. Lord knows what I could have done if I had my laptop.
Anyways, back to the rant... I got this text today. 😂😩🔫
18 -
Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."
Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."
Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."
Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."
Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."
Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."
Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."
Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"
Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."
Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."
Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."
Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."
Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."
[FML!] 🤦♂️8 -
Simple 1 day task. This idiot takes two weeks and after 7 days of hounding finally opens a pull request.
I go in to review the code. Should be a simple 10-15 line patch.
13,000 lines of code changed.
THIRTEEN THOUSAND!
"I fixed a bunch of formatting mistakes and replaced all instances of single quotes to double. Consistency is important you know."
20 -
We got married and started our relationship at 1.0. After our first argument, we managed to patch things up, so it wouldn't all break down: 1.0.1
Same night, I suggested a sexy new feature, and we worked up a good sweat implementing it together.
I got too excited and released prematurely: 1.1.0
After that, she was a bit cross, but then I suggested a hotfix. She agreed and got right on top of it. After a few minutes she finished and managed a release as well: 1.1.1 😏4 -
After some searching I found a solution on stackexchange.
The solution was a reference to a patch that I created a couple of years ago :)1 -
Annoyingly typical office conversation:
Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."
NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.17 -
Phone in my cubicle goes straight to voicemail when someone calls. Boss wants me to get it fixed so clients and he can reach me.
Yeah, I'll get right on that. 👌2 -
Dear Apple,
WHY DA FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD 4+ GB EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TO UPDATE X-FUCKING-CODE? A goddamn patch would be more than sufficient.7 -
99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
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Got laid off on Friday because of a workforce reduction. When I was in the office with my boss, someone went into my cubicle and confiscated my laptop. My badge was immediately revoked as was my access to network resources such as email and file storage. I then had to pack up my cubicle, which filled up the entire bed of my pickup truck, with a chaperone from Human Resources looking suspiciously over my shoulder the whole time. They promised to get me a thumb drive of my personal data. This all happens before the Holidays are over. I feel like I was speed-raped by the Flash and am only just now starting to feel less sick to the stomach. I wanted to stay with this company for the long haul, but I guess in the software engineering world, there is no such thing as job security and things are constantly shifting. Anyone have stories/tips to make me feel better? Perhaps how you have gotten through it? 😔😑😐14
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*production is down*
Ops: At 5pm? On a Friday? *checks deploy history* God! Who did the deploy
Dev: It was a small patch, a tiny patch. It shouldn't have....
Ops: Deploy on a Friday evening?
Colleague: I didn't think it would...
Ops (on the outside) : *takes a deep breath* Its okay Dev, we can fix this. Don't worry
Me(in my mind) : for fuck sakes! Are you fucking kidding me?*** **** *** god damn it! *****9 -
Alright, the blog seems to be running again and its not breaking yet which is a good sign :P.
Although nothing has changed on the front end yet, the backend has been partly rewritten to be more efficient and of course, post sorting based on posting date!
I'm aware of most of the front end issues so no need to tell me all of them again, I'll look at that tomorrow as I need sleep right now :(
If you'd find any bugs/security issues, please, don't exploit them but report them instead! I take security very seriously and will try to patch any security bug as soon as I can :)13 -
How do you call it when production breaks and a programmer has find out what went wrong/fix it as soon as possible while the client is breathing down their neck?
He's going through a rough patch.12 -
Craziest deadline I've ever had...
Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners
...timeframe...do it today!
Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.6 -
When you patch the patch of the patch that patched the patch of the patch and you pray no one ever notices the original issue still burried in there.......somewhere......
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Windows:
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.12 -
Oh F***, not again!
Bob, every single time you "patch" the servers I run into issues, that you cannot fix.
Bob: "heuuu... I don't know anything about python or npm or any of that"
Then stop touching it!!!1 -
Darn it, I was having such a good day. Just sitting over here in sysadmin land watching the Java devs tear their hair out over the Log4j vulnerability, when someone just had to ask me about the Jenkins servers my team maintains.
Jenkins doesn't use Log4j! What a relief!
Jenkins does, however, have third-party plugins, some of which use Log4j. And thus my relief was short-lived and now I'm also tearing out my hair trying to patch this shit.17 -
(Forgot to post this a few days ago. Was just too tired.)
Finally finished the code review from hell.
The patch on top of the PR is +1448 -1114, and nearly all of it is rearchitecting, not moving.
I think I spent six days on it, 4-5 productive hours a day? Seems like a lot. This codebase is a bitch to work in.
I’m spent.1 -
I was told in an 1:1, quite literally, "not everybody can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." - get fucked! The person I had to "report to" was an idiot (at the same senior level as I was) and obviously threatened.
Then moved down to customer support, where I was fired for fixing problems faster than going through the chain of levels, because I was creating quick scripts to patch the faulty data.1 -
I finished two projects. Both of them need to connect to each other. However, the tool to do that is not currently licensed to achieve my desired outcome. I email my boss to check the status of the license key I need, that they promised, and the only thing I get back is "Correct." Seriously? 😠 The person who has the company credit card and authority to buy, also the same one that gives me a deadline to turn this shit in, can't give me the time of day to respond to an email? Their response wasn't even relevant. I've been trying to move beyond this roadblock for a week now! I'm a pretty independent guy, but I'm not going to buy the license myself for a tool that I didn't even want to use. So when someone comes to my cube and I'm raging on Steam, ✋ I don't want to hear anything about company time, because mine isn't being respected either. 👊👊
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Last year we were given an app to patch that was completely in Arabic (including the documentation). We had a tight deadline to get the app fixed so we paid for a big company to translate the Word document we'd be given.
After 2 weeks we were given the translated documentation only to find it was select recipes from an Egyptian cooking book.1 -
Recently realized that I have the habit of plucking my beard hair when I'm contemplating. Turns out I picked out so much hair that a patch is missing from one side. I really need a fidget toy...12
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User: The app is crashing! Fix this immediately. We can’t do our jobs without it!!
Dev: Patch applied, can you confirm it is now working on your end?
User: EXCUSE ME?! THAT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY! WE ARE WAY TOO BUSY, ASK SOME OTHER DEPARTMENT TO DO THAT OR DO IT YOURSELF!
Dev: …7 -
Fuck Apple and its review system
So, this started in december. We wanted to publsih an app, after years of development.
Submit to review, and passes on the first try. Well, what do you know. We are on manual release option, so we can release together with the android counterpart. Well yes, but someone notices that the app name is not what was aggreed (App Name instead of AppName). Okay, should be easy, submit the same app, just the name changed. If it passed once, it will pass again, right? HAH
Rejected, because the description, why we use the device’s camera is too general. Well... its the purpose of the app... but whatever, i read the guidelines, okay, its actually documented with exapmles. BUT THEN WHY THE FUCK COULDNT YOU SAY THAT ON THE FIRST UPLOAD?
Whatever, fix it, new version, accepted, ready to release just in time.
It doesindeed roll out,but of course, we notice that the app has a giant issue, but only on specific phones. None of our test phones had this problem, but those who have, essentially cannot use our program. Nasty as it is, the fix is really easy, done in 5 minutes. Upload it asap, literally nothing changed from user point of view, except now it doesnt crash on said devices. Meanwhile 1 star reviews are arriving from these users - of course with all the right. Apple should allow this patch quickly, right? HAH
THE REAL BULLSHIT COMES NOW
With only config files changed, the same binary uploaded we get rejected? What now? Lets read it. “Metadata rejected, no need to upload new binary”.... oh fine only the store page is wrong? Easy. Read the message, what went wrong. “Referencing third party content is nit permitted on the app store” meaning that no android test device should be shown. Fine, your rules. They even send a picutre of the offending element. BUT ITS NOT EVEN ON THE STORE. THATS A SCREENSHOT OF THE APP. HOW IS THAT METADATA? I ask about this, and i get a reply, from either a bot, or a person who cant speak or read english, and only pasted a sample answer, repeating the previous message. WTF. Fine, i guess you are dumb, but since they stop replying to our queries, do the only sensible thing, re-record the offending tutorial video that actually contained an android device. This is about 2 weeks, after the first try to apply a simple patch to a broken app. And still, how did it pass the review 2 times?
Whatever, reupload again, play the waiting game for a week, when the promised average wait time is 2 days, they hit us with a message, that they want to know what patent we use in our apps core functionality. WTF WHY NOW? It didnt bother you for a month, let it release ti production and now you delay a simple patch for this? We send them what they know. Aaaaand they reply: sorry we need more time to review your app. FUUUUUUCKKK YOUUU. You are reviewing a PATCH with close to zero functional change!!! Then, this shit goes on, every week we ask about an ETA, always asking for patience... at the end it took another 3 weeks... so december 15 to jan 21 in total...
FOR. A. SINGLE. FUCKING. PATCH
Bottom line is what is infurating, apple cares that there is an android device in the tutorial video, but they dont care that a significant percentage of our users simply cannot use the app.
Im done7 -
*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
Apple released an update for MacOS that allowed you to type "root" as the username and "" as the password, hit the Authenticate button twice (the first time erroring out) and then have complete root permissions to the system.
They fixed it pretty much immediately, but then a later patch regressed it again.6 -
Someone tried to push a patch in prod while demo was going on in front of CEO.
Good thing they locked the repo before the demo. 😏3 -
Why do people version their code like they're learning to count? 3.0.0, 3.0.1, ..., 3.0.9, 3.1.0, 3.1.1, ...
And then I'm sitting there with 50+ websites, wondering if updating a plugin from 3.6.5 to 3.6.6 will patch my bugs, or completely break everything because of syntax changes11 -
Remember that time I taught a "senior" full stack developer what the HTTP PATCH verb was, DURING an interview?
Didn't get the job.
Yeah. Those were good times.2 -
Had a 1:1 with my boss last night and together we figured out a tricky bug related to my PR. However, either my PR or that bug patch broke a tangentially-related test. Queue my usual exhaustion, and I gave up trying to fix it.
This morning, I'm looking at it and nothing makes sense. My change should not have broken the test. So I reran the controller's tests, and... they all pass?
What is logic.
Good thing, though; that test leads to a few rabbit holes I haven't even begun exploring yet.
Oh, never mind. It broke again.
Ergh, here we go. 😔11 -
a tale of daily frustration:
git fetch
*yup I'm up-to-date ...*
git add -p .
*hack in beautiful patch ...*
git status -bs
*correct branch, didn't forget any files ...*
git diff --cached
*yep, that is what I mean to commit ...*
git commit -m"[TKT-NUM] Meaningful commit message"
git log -p -1
*double-checking ... looks good ...*
git push remote tkt-num-etc
*for a brief moment feel accomplished ...*
*notice typo in commit message ...*
I don't have a funny image or punchline to sum this post up. But know that if you recognise this feeling, then I am your brother in git.6 -
Man how do you skinny devs keep so skinny? I'm not even eating fat things and I'm nearing to light obesity... Is there a patch that I missed? apt update says it's up to date?20
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When I was about 12, I was stuck on a certain level in a PC game. I wrote my first patch in C++ to give me God mode. First time I realized programming was the most powerful thing one can do in the universe...1
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This feature I'm building requires crossing over to a second application for some actions (fair, this reduces repetition), but the method used for it is kind of ridiculous.
To keep with the existing patterns, I followed suit, and added two PATCH and a DELETE routes, wrappers, and calls. (Typical CRUD + de/reactivate).
But. This freaking halfassed HTTP model doesn't support anything but POST and PUT! wtf. (Also, the various IDs, naming schemes, and required json data/formats differ across view, controller, and endpoints. but whatever?)
Two and a half hours later, and the feature is done and works wonderfully. Four times the functionality of the previous incarnation, and the code is only about 25% longer! haha.
Ahh, I'm complimenting myself again. (but somebody has to, right? 😅)
but really, when i want to get something done i'm actually surprised at how quickly it all comes together. Even when I need to patch API Guy's madness.
(and this time I actually found someone else's code in the mess! It was actually worse!)
I suppose taking a day off yesterday did me some good.1 -
Anyone hear about the emergency patch that Microsoft just released? Its a RCE vulnerability CVE-2017-11937 which ironically targets all of Microsoft's security products.
Basically when Windows defender scans a specially crafted file the attacker can run code as the LocalSystem. Nice one Microsoft!1 -
I told him that he should patch the getQueryString() due to it going through no sanitization before going straight to the API so at this point I feel entitled to fuck with their shit.
5 -
Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...
At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...
At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...
In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...
A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...
Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman6 -
Tip: Find the email of a github user.
Github user page > choose a repository > view code > click commits > click on a commit > add .patch at the end of the url.
This shows email adres of github user who did the commit.
Note: does not work with forked repo’s.
Source : Twitter5 -
We have a 15-machine cluster that went down last night because one machine in the cluster went down. Apparently having a cluster for redundancy is just a nice idea and doesnt actually work in practice.
Also I shouldnt have to go to a vendor's forums to find out the bug that is causing my cluster to go down is fixed in a future version. It should be in the goddamn patch notes!!! -
I love GDB on CLI!
I'm using an OSS tool for multi-threaded testing stuff, and it's nice but segfaulted after 30 minutes.
I was too lazy to set up an IDE project and click through tons of stupid shit, so I just compiled the tool with debug symbols, fired up GDB on CLI, let it run until a crash, got a strack trace and quickly found the problem.
I sent a bug analysis to the author, plus a patch which got accepted, done.5 -
Soft paywall is "forcing" me to see their site in dark-theme because I have adblocker on.
I was BORN in this briar patch!3 -
Fuuuuck this corporate bullshit. I'm basically sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for some jackass to grant me access to the server that my boss moved my code over to. Why the hell did you put my app on a production server that runs every 30 minutes...THAT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO?? Now there's a critical bug and a $50K order in limbo because I can't push any fixes. Fuck me. The worst part will be in the next hour or so when dozens of people are calling, emailing, and attacking my cubicle like rabid animals about why orders aren't moving and I'll have to explain that production is a train wreck because reasons. Just end me.2
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Swithced to Ubuntu, this is my first ever OS outside of windows. Man I am loving this shit.
Bought my laptop with windows 8, was working like charm and then came windows 10, I updated it and it was working fine untill they started releasing the patch updates. My laptop became slow as fuck, taking forever to boot and bitch was I afraid to connect to my wifi fearing the background data consumption and the antivirus clogging the ram.
I am free now, I am finally free. I am ready suck the developer's dick just to please him for this masterpiece and helping me get out of this misery.20 -
Just spent the entire day of which should have been the start of vacation fighting off a second wave of ransomware on one of our production servers. Gandcrab 5.2 anyone?
Turns out an exploit in our MySQL daemon allowed some fucking Chinese hackermonkey to upload a trojan and remote execute it. Thousands of angry customers, me the only one available and able to fix shit and patch up firewalls and system.
And now I get the pleasure of working on what I should have been doing today, another fire that MUST be put out today.
Fuck you deadlines. Fuck you Chinese hackers. In fact, FML.3 -
Firefox.
I ignored your update for ages.
Because half your dev base are retards circle jerking over a language made by a smug midwit marxist who believes in ceremony over productivity.
And then you go and autoupdate without my permisson. Didn't realize microsoft wasn't the only one that could push things on people like common rapists.
Went and pushed an update when I've EXPLICITLY turned down your update nagware hundreds of times.
And now ad block is disabled.
And I'm being flooded by bullshit.
And the 'patch' you released requires me to update.
Well jumping fucking christ on a pogo stick. Why didnt you just force update the whole god damn application you shit-for-brains firefox devs?
What, you thought I wouldn't fucking notice?
You thought, because microsoft did it, that this shit was cool, in 2019?
Like that bullshit you pulled as a 'tie in' for mr robot?
I would kick you in your fucking nuts if I met you.
Ps: Your fucking patch that you put out doesn't even fucking reenable extensions.
Incompetent dumbasses.
I'm moving to another browser with less 'diversity' in the dev team.32 -
Excerpts from "Bastard devops from hell" checklist:
- Insistently pronounce git with a soft "G" and refuse to understand people not using that pronunciation, the same goes for jithub, jitlab, jit lfs, jitkraken etc.
- Reject all pull requests not in haiku format, suggest the author needs to be more culturally open minded when offending.
- increment version numbers ONLY based on percentage code changed: Less than 1% patch increment, less than 5% minor increment, more than that major version increment.
- Cycle ALL access keys, personal tokens, connection strings etc. every month "for security reasons"
- invent and only allow usage of your own CI/CD language, for maximum reuse of course. Resist any changes to it after first draft release23 -
I wrote a random string/int/other stuff API somewhere this year which I still regularly use because I'm a lazy fuck.
Never posted anything about it on here and the documentation isn't entirely complete (and not all the endpoints are extensively bug-tested yet) but if someone is interested I'll see if I can patch some stuff and put it on here as I find it useful!3 -
when you spend hours trying to patch code you poorly structured of which 30 minutes is enough to rewrite the whole damn thing.5
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Putty remote executuon vulnerability(no patch yet)
The vulnerability allows a remote attacker to execute arbitrary code on the target system.
The vulnerability exists due to unspecified input validation error when processing data, received from SSH server. A remote attacker can trick the victim to connect to a specially crafted SSH server and execute arbitrary code on the target system with privileges of the current user.
Successful exploitation of the vulnerability may allow an attacker to compromise vulnerable system.7 -
I hate people who dog on wsl
Windows subsystem Linux
I use it. It has been wonderful. No problems that Google couldn't fix. Always a patch or an update.
And I can use Windows just fine.
No dual boot needed, no bullshit wine needed, no having to do without Photoshop
There,.. I'm out of the closet
My uncle showed me how to use it ok mom and dad
I'm starting a wsl parade who's in7 -
11.1/11.4 GB of RAM is being eaten open on boot, even though I just rebooted. Almost half of my swap is in use too. WTF! Windows is no help in explaining it either...SO ANNOYING!
15 -
Dear Dark Side #3
Honor the hackers who made your childhood:
Store text in .nfo
Trigger a midi when someone makes a patch
Send ASCII art to your graphics dept6 -
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm leaving this company in less than a month and I'm so fucking pissed. No matter how fast I work, I ALWAYS end up not getting PR reviews FOR WEEKS. I POSTED A PATCH FOR AN ABSOLUTE BLOCKER THAT HAS MAYBE 20 LINES AND I STILL DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING REVIEWS A WEEK LATER. WHAT THE FUCK. Not to mention that bigger feature I've been working on that blocks subsequent dev steps. It's been, what, a month? And not a single review. The fuck am I supposed to do?5
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OMG people please stop being so fucking lazy... help me help you... RN I have multiple support people asking me to fix a bug that they can't even describe (and honestly I doubt it exists) and a fellow developer who refuses to give me a DB or migration to test his patch but wants me to merge it urgently. FOH and die, y'all.20
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99 little bugs in the code, 99 little huge, take on down, patch it around, 157 little bugs in the code
-
What good is a developer focused avatar WITH NO NECKBEARD!!! This is heresy, damnit. I demand a neckbeard on the next patch or we riot! Nobody is that cleanly groomed, these avatars are all lies.6
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If you don't know, there are 2 types of bug fixes:
Hot Fix - Patch files directly on the production
Quick Fix - Deploy fix on production and then test it4 -
Okay...not a rant. But my boss's boss is amazing! I've been with this company for about a year, and every time my lowly ass needs permission elevation to do something, I have to practically beg. And then I get elevated one little permission at a time. I have a presentation to the board on Tuesday, and all damn day it's been one network permission problem over the other. It's become insulting that I'm the only team member that has to beg for permission scraps. Today, they take me out to lunch and when I get back, sends an email and copies me on it basically instructing that I'm to receive near-God like permissions on the network. Quite an honor for being everyone's junior by like 20-25 years! I feel like I'm about to receive an Infinity Stone or something...best day ever!
-
Today I ended a coding session by fixing a problem I’ve been having but not the problem I was attempting to patch and I ended up screaming “SHIT NO I FAILED SUCCESSFULLY”
a friend of mine that over heard me was like “dude those aren’t words that work together”
I just replied with “you would think so but it’s more common than you think” -
I'm not going outside until like 3 months after they lift the restrictions. I'll let y'all deal with the bugs and crashes and resurgences. I'm not really an early adopter. I'm gonna wait until they release outside 4.2 the stable patch1
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Took me a year after graduation to land a job that stuck. Submitted about 100 job applications, most of which were immediate or semi-immediate denials. Got through one screen call and one technical call with Google before getting passed on. I did two technicals with G.E. where I really thought I knew my stuff...but didn't make the cut. I finally landed a job with a contractor for the Department of Defense, but my clearance was going to take over a year to finish, so they let me go after a couple weeks.
Every day, I would sit at Starbucks for eight hours; four of which, I would apply for jobs and practice for interviews. The other four I would self-medicate on Steam and wonder if the last six years of schooling was worth it. I was ready to move out of state and/or cut my losses to find a new industry when I was blessed with my current job.
For anyone going through what I did, don't jump straight to doubting your skills. Breaking in to an industry can be very hard. Have patience, keep getting better at what you do, and be open to opportunities. 💯👍 -
+++ Microsoft Genuine Snake Oil: The purest snake oil on the market now contains even less remote code execution vulnerabilities! +++
https://zdnet.com/article/... -
99 little bugs in my code,
99 little bugs in my code,
Take one down, patch it around,
100 little bugs in my code.
1 -
The latest Ubuntu 17.10 patch let's VMware run out of the box!
Woo!!!!
Finnaly time to migrate! :-D7 -
Just discovered one of our core systems had literally used api key validation of "drop into database, if exists, its fine"
Well, around 30 seconds later, I have successfully authenticated with apikey "%". Wonder why.... Sigh... Patch already pushed, but still it left bad taste in my mouth...
lesson for beginers:
validate, validate, validate. If user could touch it, treat is as broken unsafe and if used it will nuke your home. check if it will, than use it. -
Last night: Wow, I just finished that massive feature and I still get some time left! Why not play something?!
Oh crap, this game is so cool but my video card drivers needs an update (AMD Radeon on a Fedora system).
The proprietary drivers don't run on this version of Xorg server... Fine, let's search for some solutions online and... Hey! Found it! Let's see: downgrade Xorg, download the driver, patch it for your kernel version...
Did I just fucked my display? Oh yeah... Let's try to fix it........
Fuck...
5am: Finally got it all working perfectly again... Fuck this game, I hate it!3 -
Okay i3wm users, what do you like to use for the bar manager? I'm trying to decide if I just want to customize the default bar or change it to something like lemonbar to patch the powerline look in my terminal. I don't want something that would be too complex to configure but still be powerful to use. (I've had issues with polybar but it may have been a fuckup from the script I tried to run with it.
Screenshot of my setup WIP.
9 -
"You obviously nerfed something, it's broken now and it wasn't last patch!"
*git log shows nothing changed in 9 months*
When players know more about your code than your version control does...1 -
That time when one of the npm modules you use gets a patch that contains a breaking change. You fix your code. Then a week later the module patches again and revert the breaking change. :/
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Do you also feel dirty when a client asks for something that completely defats the purpose of the main feature?
yet you "patch " it because "it's a big client after all" and they can't be bothered to do a simple two number addition.
6 -
MetaRant - The avatar items cost too many points!
At least at this level of activity within the community.
I'll never get that eye-patch.....10 -
When the client wants to deploy a patch to their app that is hosted on the cloud, but wants to do it onsite.
Oh well, might as well visit the data center of the cloud provider -
I was working with a stable installation of an elaborated platform. Some plugins were installed. After upgrading the installation by 2 patch level the customer registration was not working anymore.
In these two patch level a method in an interface got an additional optional parameter which had a major impact on the behaviour the implemented method. A plugin decorated the implementation without knowing about the new parameter. Therefore when calling the method the decorating class did not pass the new parameter in to the decorated implementation and the fallback value was given instead.
The caller expected the method to do something and did not branch into an alternative way but the default value disables the expected behaviour. Eventually nothing happened.
Breaking changes in patch levels woop di fucking do.2 -
Should have kept a copy of my best code off of my work computer. That way it wouldn't have been confiscated along with the computer during the layoffs. [sniff] I had some beautiful Stored Procedures I can't satisfactorily remember how to reproduce. 😅4
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As a guy with a Intel 6800K I now really feel robbed of my money by Intel.
For over 10 years they knew of the heavy design flaw and put it through.
The ironic thing is, that every country will set up a penalty for Intel, but the Customers with the CPU's wont even see a buck.
It sucks that I have up to 30% less CPU Power after next weeks patch.
I will banish Intel now forever!! You should never come again in my Business!!!
Even my newly ordered Tablet with a Intel chip will suck d*ck now...9 -
team lead/senior telling you that you're probably going to break prod and have to patch it for the next couple of weeks when working on one of the first migration epics on legacy monolith, but we'll get good data from it doesn't make it any less terrifying5
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! Rant
Some was tired of standing when waiting the bus, just managed to make a seat with bus stop marker.
3 -
I don't work for Walmart, but they almost put my job in jeopardy today. I have a console app in production that pushes Walmart orders from their marketplace into our system for fulfillment. For half a year, I have handled thousands of orders, but overnight, all customers were getting massive price cuts on products in the Walmart feed! I looked at the data and initially thought it was my error due to using a quotient instead of a product in the code. But upon closer inspection, some fool at Walmart had changed code on their end without telling my team! Broke all the things. Lucky we were able to pull a full stop before we lost disgusting amounts of money, but you would think that a big player like Wally would at least announce a breaking code change to their users. 😲😡1
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Are Apple engineers incompetent or just jerks? How a patch update breaks so many things that I'm forced to update xcode and then xcode forces me to update the whole fucking system!?
Perhaps they just don't care about semver and break thinks whenever they feel like it..8 -
Motherfucker
One does not simply install a macOS security patch on a hackintosh without everything going to snit
Now I have one recent backup and am trying not to fsck anything else up1 -
So there is a mall here that idk how but has little currents pass through it's supporting rails. And every time you touch it, it gives you a little shock.
I have been waiting for about 3 months now expecting a patch fix when I realized that physical production bugs have no patch fixes. More than 3/4th of the population is unaware of a whole different level of bug fixing frustration. Damn1 -
Project requirements include a database. I don't have permissions to create a new database on the server, so I go to the person that spins up new servers and deals with group policy. They rustle some papers around, looking aggravated, throws up hands and says, "I guess I'm the DBA now..." Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do shithead? Ask the web team to do it? We don't have a DBA. My boss has been gone all week and, really, this isn't a hard task. You check a fucking box.
Whatever, I'll remember this when they need a favor from me.6 -
Software runs fine on several in-house instances. First time customers hosting it themselves. Runs fine. Users start using. Server need absurdly high processing power and fucks up. I can not access customers Server to debug. Only hope, get copy of their images to reproduce their setup. And have *** one single fucking hour *** to go into it before having to tell in emergency meeting if we can fix it or they would blew the project.
I didn't expect, but found the cause, a single very badly written query. Written by myself years ago I have to admit.
They also gave me one hour to produce a patch. I did but but lost so many hair.4 -
I'm so tired of being on the second floor of this shitty office building. There is a constant vibration from all the employees walking around; moreover, someone walks down the aisle beside my cube...it's like a small fucking earthquake. A group or really fat person walks by? Shit's falling off my walls. Damn it all. 👊
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Don't like the way how to do something? Witte software for it! You need something automated? Develop the autonation algorithms! Don't like how an open source application works? Change it! Don't like how the closed source application works? Fucking reverse engineer and patch it!
Being a developer opens incredibly man doors in the world of information technology, that technology that drives our world, society and so, so many parts of everyone's life. So why on earth wouldn't you want to be a developer?2 -
Context: We have a 96-port wall-mount patch panel. We're not even using half of those ports. "We" (read: "I") are completely redoing our network rack, as it's an ancient nest of wires. Currently all the ports in use on the patch panel just have random-length cables which are just drooped down beside the rack before running to switches. When I need to trace a cable from patch panel to switch, it's a complete nightmare. However, the cables going to the patch panel do have enough of extra length to do a rack-mount patch panel. I suggest this...
MGR: "Ehhh... I don't really like the idea of tying the rack to the wall... What if we want to move it or something?"
(this rack is in a tiny room and has been there since probably the 1800's.)
ME: "Well the problem currently is that it's all but impossible to trace cables. And even if I rewire it and bundle them nicely, it will still be a headache. With a rack-mount panel, we could just have super short patch cables and so it's super easy when I need to move stuff around."
MGR: "Okkkk..... So what if we would purchase like 3 or 4 switches to get 96 ports, then we run a cable to every patch panel port. That way we never need to change anything :)))."
Dude. Great idea. Let's drop hundreds to thousands of dollars on switches we don't need, rather than just doing a single patch panel. Brilliant. Also another great idea that, running thirty or forty unnecessary cables that we aren't even using. That won't clutter up the rack or use up valuable space or get confusing which ports on the switches are/aren't in use.
I'm trying so hard not to scream right now. I can't deal with this.
EDIT: It gets worse. Apparently part of the reason he wants to do this is "to make it simple". Currently we have our POS system running to its own switch, the printers are on another switch, etc. (yes I know some of this could be accomplished with a VLAN, this was set up before my time). But apparently "if we just had every single port wired then we could plug in whatever we want wherever we want and it wouldn't matter." I just... That's... That's not how you do a network.1 -
I think I may have officially gotten myself fired before I even started a new job. My salaried start date was supposed to be Jan 3 but they hired me to do spot work at my hourly rate until then. My server side PHP skills were never great but they appear to be completely inadequate to the task of patching their undocumented, spaghetti legacy code. I just sent a note basically saying I either need to convert their entire site to something else 3 weeks ahead of the timeframe we planned or to basically outsource my work to another developer to patch this code. Feeling like a total imposter at the moment. I wouldn't hire me.4
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I had just finished programmer school (Air Force Tech School), and was all set to wade into the world of C++ programming. Got to my first job, and they set my down at a VT220 terminal on a VAX 11/780 and said, "You are the new sys admin." Talk about disappointment. My first actual coding? I got to apply a software patch to a Gould SEL 67 that only had a Mod 40 TTY as an interface ... yes, pretty much a typewriter ... no terminal screen. I am so happy technology has advanced as much as it has.
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Apply a Fortran code patch on a Gould SEL via a Mod 40 TTY terminal, which is essentially an electric typewriter connected to the computer. No graphics display. Once you hit enter on a line, that was it. If you fat-fingered something, you got to start over. We've come a long way, Baby!
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Just got to experience this classic (again):
99 little bugs in the code, take one down, patch it around, 127 little bugs in the code... -
Hey @dfox, @trogus, the birds on the shoulder are super pimp, but would you be interested in making a parrot? You know, to go along with a Hawaiian shirt, an eye patch, and a pirate hat?
That'd be metal af \m/\m/11 -
Never create a work around for assholes. It will eventually become their solution.
Man fuck this guy, this project is almost a year old and it was originally supposed to be a patch. But even with all my insisting, they never tried to move to the real solution.
Now this jackass brings it up and he's a hero, and I don't know what I'm doing. What a fucking way to start the week. -
Lady comes over to my cube and stands silently until I notice her in the mirror. She cheerfully asks that I help her reset her password.
Okay...one, I'm buried up to my balls in work that needs to be done, and here she is camping, expecting me to feel a disturbance in The Force to help on her whim, when our company has an issue system for shit like this. 👊
Two, I'm 👏 a 👏 developer 👏! My sign says Software Engineer on it, which might give some context as to why she forgot her password.
Look, I was nice to her. But it seems like I'm getting more and more phone calls and surprise visits lately from people that I shouldn't be.1 -
A good friend connected me with a recruiter before I almost gave up looking for work in my industry. Good thing I didn't piss him off in college!
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Yet three other flaws...
Now it's pretty clear that Intel, either kept their backdoors pretty much knowingly and patch them when they find a better way to access data(yes I see you the functioning of ME) or it's like in the race of faster clock, took the safety of the data for granted.
Anyways, one word, Assholes. The management of Intel -
I gave a rant yesterday about this. But I have to say it again because it's so gratifying. It went like this
Me: "you should patch the module instead of using it for your python unit test."
Them: "You keep telling me this, but maybe there is a better way"
Me: "there is, I'm telling it to you"
Next day, Code review.
Me: "You need to change this"
... silent on the issue ...
On a call...
Me: "You need to patch the module. Don't mess up the namespace."
Them: "I don't think so, X did the work"
(In my head: then what did you do)
Me: "We can grab whoever you like Y, X. Let's see if X is busy"
... X isnt busy, hops on call 45 seconds later.
Me: "we're using the module, we should patch this'
X: Muses the thought for 2-3 seconds.
X: "yeah... Yeah we probably should patch that"
Moral of the story, don't take shit personally unless your right... Then relish in. But if your right and X says otherwise, you can always + a rant. -
After trying 4 different versions of installation, applying patch, digging through obscure sites, down the rabbit hole, finally
ERROR at 97%
(; _ ;)
Back-up plan : Forget everything... buy land somewhere in the in the mountain and be a farmer.2 -
API changes. Customer downloads newest version of dependency, and breaks my software. Why? Because the devs making the dependency don’t phase anything out with deprecation, just poof. So then I’m up all night making a patch so I don’t have to deal with set client.
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Shout out to @AmyShackles for getting me across the line of 40,000++. I'll be wearing my eye patch with pride.
Previous rant for context.
https://devrant.com/rants/4916710/...5 -
"What language should I learn?" Wellll.
[0]
43 PERCENT Of banking systems are built on COBOL
80 PERCENT Of in-person transactions use COBOL
95 PERCENT Of ATM swipes rely on COBOL code
220 BILLION Lines of COBOL in use today
"Experienced COBOL programmers can earn more than $100 an hour when they get called in to patch up glitches, rewrite coding manuals or make new systems work with old." [1]
Found this pretty interesting/crazy.
Source:
[0] http://tmsnrt.rs/2nMf18G
[1] http://reuters.com/article/...6 -
For the past 5 odd years my Bluetooth headphones wouldn't connect to my laptop properly and I had to issue a second Connect command while the first was pending to get it working. I even wrote a script to automate this: https://github.com/lbfalvy/...
Today Bluez finally released a patch for this. That's right, after many years, today the issue got fixed; Connect now returns an error if a call is already pending.
My headphones still don't work, but my workaround is now correctly recognized as invalid input.12 -
#! Linux 4.1 is out
Insanely great but I'm only worried about several massive patch sessions
https://theregister.co.uk/2017/02/... -
The Amazon Music app is so dumb. Instead of simply saying that it can't find anything for your search, it exclaims that they're experiencing difficulties, smh.5
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First patch for buildroot submitted and added applied to master!! 😁
I had the impression that git (like, more than "git add ." was just too complicated and that making patches was some sort of dark magic using some obscure unix tools.
Well, it turns out that is actually pretty easy, fun and exhilarating!!
Looking forward to build up until I'm making contributions to the kernel! 🤓 -
I needed to take today off to prep for a home repair. I didn't have much notice either, but I assumed my manager would be okay with some last minute PTO because of how relaxed everyone usually is around here. Guess that didn't include me.
I should have never assumed that my boss was someone I could think of as a peer. I called their boss "Boss" one time, and they said that they don't look at it that way, and that they see me as a peer. My boss nodded in agreement, but it was all formalities, and I bought right into it. Especially since both of them, even the other guys, take time off on a whim. But I'm somehow tied to a stricter standard, even though I can't beg hard enough to get so much as an email answered for legitimate reasons. They'll jump right on my ass when they feel I'm not working as hard as them, but I get silence most of the rest of the time. Bullshit. It's no wonder the conversation changes when your boss sits down at the lunch table. How depressingly typical.1 -
Installed JDK 8 patch 111 in preparation for an upgrade to our application servers . The app installer requires patch 45 or above. Come to find out the app installer can only deal with a 2 digit patch number. Uninstalled JDK 8 patch 111 to install patch 92 only to find that patch 92 installer won't work because patch 111 has messed with the registry and didn't do a thorough cleanup during the uninstall.1
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After a long long time,
Debugged something that blew away my mind on how it works internally..
DynamoDBMapper made my day today.
What could have been more better gift during the super special sweet valentine's week!!!!!
I ❤️ debugging.
Found my lost love and interest to patch up with my most loved one Miss "Programming" -
So, small note to all developers out here:
If you provide a Serverside program to update your software in a network, like M$ WSUS to remove internet traffic,
Please consider not to introduce Bugs in your newest version that make this Service unusable and patch it out later.
Microsoft did exactly this with the Anniversary Update 1607 last year.
Now, after each installation I have to install the most important patches manually to use the WSUS. Because when I go directly i get the newest version that is not tested in our environment. :(
This is From Sysop to Dev :-)1 -
Just yesterday I fixed the game "Industry Giant 1", so that it can be played on 64bit systems. By updating necessary API changes within the. exe assembly instructions. Then i had to take the last avilable patch for the game (1.35) appart since it only works on the non-gold edition, which resultet in more assemly fixing. This was the most hacky thing i had to do in order to get a game running.
x64dbg saved my weekend. 😉 -
> [PM from a totally different project / team comments on already-closed 10-line PR] How about we [add a totally new feature involving several engineer-weeks to patch over a fixable bug in another part of the system] instead?
> [me] we can talk about that, but it's nontrivial and we should scope any work relating to it to be sure we're doing the right thing
> [him] [starts private email chain] this should be simple. Why isn't this as simple as that other change?
> [me] [explains why]
> [him] I think it should be simple. We'll talk about it offline tomorrow and maybe you can do it next week.13 -
I fixed a bug properly... Took down an entire application systems, sometimes you just gotta monkey patch that shit.
So it was a 15 year old cold fusion system and chrome had deprecated some window pop up feature, so I tracked it to the shared function that triggered this, fixed it there, tested it and even got it all past qa.
Turned out some of the other modules on the app had some other logic around this that made it not work there, they had implemented the fallback check without any fallback logic.
Time to rollback a 3 week sprint...1 -
I just got a call from Satya. He informed me that Microsoft has successfully acquired the Linux kernel and all future development will be closed sourced.
Here's a sneak peek of the official announcement:
There will be a newer version released tomorrow that will include the Windows desktop environment as well as patch a critical 0-day security flaw that was recently discovered in all versions of Linux.
To prevent exploitation, we will activate a kill switch which will disable all systems running any flavor of Linux next week.
Thus we advise you upgrade ASAP, existing users can get the latest version online for $500.8 -
Spend half a day trying to make sound work on my antergos install, after multiple image builds, kernel jumping, reinstalling alsa, realized that people working on making cherry trail laptops sound work - stopped working on it since like april 2017 and new kernels have simply no patch to make it work, great.. debian docs mention that you should be able to use an external soundcard atleast, but the whole alsa and pulseaudio shit doesn't make that easy at all.. atleast the battery time with arch+powertop+tlp is almost the same as what I would get with windows out of it1
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The next step for improving large language models (if not diffusion) is hot-encoding.
The idea is pretty straightforward:
Generate many prompts, or take many prompts as a training and validation set. Do partial inference, and find the intersection of best overall performance with least computation.
Then save the state of the network during partial inference, and use that for all subsequent inferences. Sort of like LoRa, but for inference, instead of fine-tuning.
Inference, after-all, is what matters. And there has to be some subset of prompt-based initializations of a network, that perform, regardless of the prompt, (generally) as well as a full inference step.
Likewise with diffusion, there likely exists some priors (based on the training data) that speed up reconstruction or lower the network loss, allowing us to substitute a 'snapshot' that has the correct distribution, without necessarily performing a full generation.
Another idea I had was 'semantic centering' instead of regional image labelling. The idea is to find some patch of an object within an image, and ask, for all such patches that belong to an object, what best describes the object? if it were a dog, what patch of the image is "most dog-like" etc. I could see it as being much closer to how the human brain quickly identifies objects by short-cuts. The size of such patches could be adjusted to minimize the cross-entropy of classification relative to the tested size of each patch (pixel-sized patches for example might lead to too high a training loss). Of course it might allow us to do a scattershot 'at a glance' type lookup of potential image contents, even if you get multiple categories for a single pixel, it greatly narrows the total span of categories you need to do subsequent searches for.
In other news I'm starting a new ML blackbook for various ideas. Old one is mostly outdated now, and I think I scanned it (and since buried it somewhere amongst my ten thousand other files like a digital hoarder) and lost it.
I have some other 'low-hanging fruit' type ideas for improving existing and emerging models but I'll save those for another time.6 -
Sporadic news, now that I have a decent chunk:
AMD's stock price closes higher than Intel's (https://marketwatch.com/story/...)
a Mega Man live-action film is in the works (https://rockman-corner.com/2020/07/...)
T-Mobile will require all devices to have LTE (https://androidpolice.com/2020/07/...)
Patch any ASUS routers you have (https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...)
Emotet is being fucked with (https://zdnet.com/article/...)
Garmin devices are being fucked (https://cnn.com/cnn/2020/...)
Bitcoin is now officially a currency (https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-la...)
Sonic Movie 2 is comig in 2022 (https://cbr.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-...)
ARM may be totally controlled by Nvidia soon (https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...)
and the Republican Party is trying to ban the Democrats (either the name or wholly) because racism. (https://foxnews.com/politics/...)4 -
Moving my baby into prod this morning. I find that the louder my headphones are, the less I can hear myself freaking out.
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The best moments are when you've been struggling with an implementation for a few days, and then things start to work. I had this happen last week. I have a Windows desktop app processing product dimensional data from multiple warehouses, then sending that data across the country and transposing into a data lake, joining several databases, and sending detailed reports. It was a struggle from start to finish, with lots of permissions issues, use cases to consider, and data accuracy. Finally, I break through and when I step back, I get to see this well-oiled machine of conjoined ideas run through to its eloquent, seemingly fleeting, conclusion. That feeling you get that makes you throw your hands in the air for a job well done! It's very exciting.
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I just found out YouTube ReVanced now has a kind of working patcher for android. It was easy to use and I don't have to use outdated vanced anymore. I can also choose which individual patches I want to used.
It's really nice. Even for people who don't want adblock and only want dislikes back since you can just disable that patch. I don't get why anyone wouldn't want to use it.13 -
A command-line animation command.
Input frames and an expression
It will be able to reorder frames, play video/frames/music in the background, smooth transitions, diff and patch frames and render into a video
It will be written in Go. No idea what to call it.
What do you think?8 -
Each programmer is a poet at heart
Programmers are like God. We create defects and also kill them too. We spend the whole day fixing a defect, and the patch itself gives birth to a few more defects of its own.1 -
but but linux, open source, google, are secure, are faster to patch security issues ...meanwhile MS already patched windows and edge
https://neowin.net/news/...
https://neowin.net/news/...3 -
The frontend developers in my company are the reason why I have anxiety. Here are few things that grinds my knees:
1) for a long time in projects, they deleted the auth token from their storage without integrating the logout api. They thought why use an API for that. :)
2) most of them had no clue that form fields could accept javascript as inputs and work as XSS vulnerabilities. This actually happened with a client, he got so fucking pissed.
3) One of them asked me to convert a PATCH request to DELETE cos fuck REST and HTTP methods.
For fuck’s sake. I need to get out of this place.4 -
Fitting all of my open apps onto three monitors. I think maybe six monitors will hold them all. Ironically, staying focused is also something I struggle with. 🤦♂️😅
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create, read, update, delete, get, store, put, post, show, view, patch, destroy, list, remove, save, status, ...
crudgsppsvpdlrss? -
That feeling where there's a bug in the code, you patch it, then an error occurs on the next line, and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next, and then it runs without failing but it doesn't do what you originally intended.2
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My manager asks, in Slack, if we can change the auto-tagger to update the patch instead of the minor version. I respond by saying, "Yes, it's in the Jenkisfile. Really we should switch to just <major.minor> and drop patch."
My manager asks why and I go on to say the last number is useless (unless you ship software externally and need to hotfix or security patch a minor release; internally they serve little purpose).
At my last job we dropped three numbers for two, and most other teams here only use two numbers.
He sends a link to the semantic versioning website.
The next day one of the other developers sends it to me in a private chat as a joke. 😂😅 I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks our manager shouldn't be a manager. -
Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!
Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works! -
I accidentally deployed a patch to the development server instead of the production server (which is what I wanted) and somehow it was also deployed to production. I have no idea how, but everything's working so idgaf. If it works it's all good.7
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An old hillbilly named Bill, who started programming on patch panels in the 60's. Imagine that if you will. He taught me to be persistent, not to fear mistskes, and never take myself too seriously.
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Remember the days when you had to write your own Main method? And you didn't have to rely on IntelliSense to do the remembering for you? Good times.
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Please share your thoughts on Dependabot security alerts on Github, more specifically for NPM packages in package-lock.json.
In 99% of cases I've found them useless as:
- package-lock.json is in the repo, but not in the NPM package (=no value to users)
- most of the updates relate to devDependencies (=no value to users)
- it clutters the git history (and changelog if it is auto-generated) with a batch of patch updates (updated depx to .1, .2, .3) while the only important thing in the next release notes is the delta (updated depx from .1 to .3) (=no value to users)10 -
Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.
The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!
Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally* -
Ported the dirtyc0w patch all the way down to kernel 3.2.13, that was fun 😀
Yeah, I've heard of LTS 😛 -
Worst part of being a dev is when you need a patch for your sleeping schedule but don't have time for updates
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My company was about to spend $15,000 per month to have a mobile presence engineered and maintained from a third party. The contract was for three years, so naturally, we wanted an exit clause. When they refused, we dropped the pen and decided to roll our own mobile. Those folks are morons...I don't make $15K for month...hell, I'll do it and give you an exit clause! It's amazing how much money corporations have to throw around.
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Before I came along, my company was processing orders of type X by hand, taking many hours and being at greater risk of human error. So as a temporary solution, I crafted a console app to do the processing. Then, this app is needed to be accessed remotely. Because adding a newer .NET to a handful of servers was just too much to handle emotionally for management, the console app was revamped to a web app. During this revamping process, I was having my client send me an email so that I could initiate the processing myself until a friendlier UI was available. Well, I finished last night. I sent them an email explaining that it was live, gave them the address, and gave myself a high-five. A moment ago, I get an email from the client insisting that I process those orders quickly so that I don't cause a delay in shipping. FML!! Did they even READ the email I sent them?? They've been suckling at the teat for too long. Adding insult to injury, since the revamping project began, the client would CC my boss every time they emailed to have an order processed as if to hint at their frustration that the project wasn't done yet. Grr....
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21 Veracode flaws in the code, 21 Veracode flaws!
Patch the code, run a new scan...
...146 Veracode flaws in the code!
(this is why build tools that auto-manage dependencies are a Very Bad Thing(tm) - couple that with aggressive remediation windows and oh boy, nightmare fuel!) -
Does anyone know of any patches to make the android UI more responsive. Like the iPhone just better? I really think that would be the patch to ruin apple for good!10
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My stupid body sweats when it's cold and doesn't when it's hot. I sleep in a long oversize sweatshirt. But during the day, it's the opposite, except for my fucking feet, this is why during the summer I wear t-shirt and stuff but with heavy winter socks.
Can you suggest a patch for that?3 -
When you feel that only you and maybe one other guy from the team care about product and do effort to actually refactor legacy spaghetti code while others just patch it up or even build changes on top of legacy spaghetti!2
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Weekend of our big re-platforming finally comes. I'm not invited for overtime work during this transition. Boss emails on Sunday wanting me to test some code.
What the actual fuck? HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Nope. Office could be on fire - not being paid? Not working. 🍺🍺🍺 -
Just made a damn fool of myself with a client. I handed off three projects and they had no idea what they were for and neither did I. My boss gave me these months ago. No code comments, no documentation, just some stored procedures they wanted me to actualize.
The best I could offer was to promise the client I would send a description of the projects to them as soon as my boss gets them to me. Fuck. I thought the client would know what they asked for when I showed them, but fuck me, they didn't remember. So embarrassing. 😡😡😡 -
Symantec/Norton users please patch your AV immediately, problem that's listed in CVE-2016-2208, which can help you destroy your kernel.
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!rant
My patch to a BBC Micro emulator to allow passthrough access to the host's IDE interface seems to work. Now I can try and program a BBC Micro to access CD-ROM drives 😃
Also, BrewDog order arriving tomorrow 🍺😃1 -
This code is huge ! THAT MEANS IT HAS HUGE BUGS !
FIX AND PATCH !
FIX AND PATCH YOUR BUGS !
Basically the reason I want to work on a big codebase one day is to be able to scream that
Winks if you get the reference (just so you know, I didn't read it fully)2 -
Fuck you, Julian Assange! I mean honestly! Stop being a fucking dick, that needs to polish his ego! https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/...
(On a side note, yes it's a good idea to give a disclosure deadline, but come on just give them the code so they can fix it!)1 -
I have family in town today. A week ago, I asked for this day as PTO. Denied. FML...now I can't lie and say I'm sick. Honesty is not always the best policy. 😡😡😡1
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Last Christmas I gave you my patch,but the very next day you rolled it away
This year to save me from tears I'll give it to some special1 -
At some point I need to do an older project i've had on hold a while, but it'd require writing my own ROM patch system as a major step in completing it, as i'd need to dynamically patch stuff into older games based on system, which current patch formats don't allow for. (This project will also help me learn a few things I need for yet more projects I've got stashed away, so it needs to happen eventually.)
Now, the interesting part: the patch format. I was debating on whether to use binary data, like IPS/BPS and similar formats do, which would be easier to implement... but if I were to have plaintext patches, you'd be able to not only understand what's happening, but also have things like scripting and conditionals and user-defined options and such. This would be WAY harder to implement, slow as fuck, and require an assembler per-target-system, either external or internal... but it'd be transparent, editable, and hella extendable.
This would all happen after I'm both over my burnout AND done chewing through my current stack of projects and such, of course, but still... which sounds better to you, dear reader?2 -
Learn what blobs, trees, hashes and the concept of "commiting" (transactions) are.
Then learn how to use diff/patch.
Then learn Git.
In that order. -
I love staying late to patch PHP systems. It's even better when our ecommerce website written in Perl has an issue with cart checkouts and customers are complaining1
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A demon process is running inside me,
whenever I hear your name it's triggers an interrupt to brain,
Causing my brain to stop working and perform a context switching to think about you...
My memories are encrypted by your memories as like wanna cry...
And it demands to always think about you as a ransom...
I tried songs as a patch, But
I found that you memory encryption can't be fixed with any patches...
My heart is not strong as Linux ,
It's so week like Microsoft...
So please don't inject more bugs as my system can't sustain that...
I hope you will also get some disturbance like segmentation fault as you are trying to access my memories.. -
I miss ROM cartridges. Shure the software looked like crap, but at least they had to make shure it was worked before shipping. I'm having a bad day today being right in the consequences of "we can always patch it later".2
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Really annoyed over BlueBorne and the phone companies needing months to roll out a patch.
I need my music while traveling and my last pair of wired headphones broke two days ago /o\ -
A heads up for all you java people: this took me fucking hours to figure out https://access.redhat.com/solutions... latest kernel patch on rhel 5+ has fucked the JVM, using -Xss2m made it work on rhel 5. Looks to have been caused by a security fix for stack gaurd.
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Question regarding android. I am having a problem with retrofit (I am using moshi converter factory) and hope that you can help.
Basically I have a screen with 3 checkboxes. User is able to select any of these checkboxes, and also user is allowed to select none of them.
When user doesn't select any checkboxes and click complete button, I send a PATCH request to backend with a model which contains 3 null values.
Problem here is that PATCH request which is being sent doesn't include any properties which have been nulled.
I spent some time researching why retrofit/moshi doesn't serialize nulled properties and I found a fix.
So I have this line
.addConverterFactory(MoshiConverterFactory.create(moshi))
Which I replaced with
.addConverterFactory(MoshiConverterFactory.create(moshi).withNullSerialization())
Now nulls are serialized and I am able to send a PATCH request model with nulled values. However now I'm facing another problem. Across my app I'm using only one retrofit client and I don't want to serialize nulls for all requests. Also I don't want to create another retrofit client.
How can I fix this problem? As far as I've researched it seems that I need to add an adapter with toJson() and fromJson() methods and then somehow enable nullSerialization only for that adapter. However I don't completely understand that solution and not even sure how to handle it.1 -
"Bug fixes and performance improvements" - what I actually mean is that I shipped some dodgy code & this patch covers my humongous arse...sort of.1
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Anyone here in IT that had to deal with Windows 7 PCs magically lose their nic drivers overnight? Had 10+ PCs I had to manually reinstall drivers after an overnight patch. What kind of sh*try upgrade was this and how did it happen?2
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A bug in legacy code (java jsf....).
The dev, architect now, who build the app :
"Yes this is simple, the problem comes from the business logic in the .jsp..."
A bit later
"No, your patch does not suit me, you mix two different concepts"1 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around 117 little bugs in the code.
-____________- -
I just used `git add --patch` for the first time and I feel like a git god!
(No, my text editor was not giving me enough control over the hunks.) -
Meetings...so many meetings! Things that suck the very soul from my body and break me out of the zone I worked so hard to get into. Things that could just be an email, or a chat, or a go-fuck-yourself. 😣😭
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Anyone here do animation?
So I'm developing this command-line animation program. It'll obviously only be for quick stuff
I'm thinking of accepting frames and an expression to order, overlay and diff/patch frames.
What kinds of things should I implement? I have done basically no animation ever.
Previous post: https://devrant.com/rants/2312640/...
PS join the chat! https://gitter.im/animator-project/...
https://github.com/skuzzymiglet/...2 -
holy crap patch-package is such an amazing tool
i forget about it all the time
lovely when there is a dependency tree and one of the dependencies was last updated 7 years ago
🤡1 -
super.rant("
When you feel the fart breaking through all barriers, just as the barber leans in to get that untidy patch on the back of your head, and yet he pretend like nothing happened.
");
1 -
Someone mentioned antivirus and custom code... it reminded me of when Symantec Endpoint Protection received an update and some of our production servers had our custom apps quarantined. We had about four servers that had most of our custom apps removed. When it happened I thought someone was monkeying with the servers (they were our task servers used for task and service jobs). It took me about an hour to realize what happened then another hour to get the SEP admins to disable it until we could get another patch. Fun day.
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Even though we have sophisticated CD pipeline, decided to modify war on server (modifying 1 source file, compile it and patch it on server (Java based)). Just cause CD takes 4 hours and we "only have" 15 mins to do it. So manual patching with rush job. Now when I think about it, I cringe and thank the dev ducks that we didn't messed it up even worse!1
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https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...
Is this legit ?
It is as a result of a query I have, I am curious if Docker's claims to system isolation between apps is verifiably universal.
There have been a number of attempts at virtualization that avoid VMs, and I have always wondered is there a way to access the host systems kernel through these ?
Thoughts ?18 -
Don't you love it when a module maintainer replay for install instruction is "If there any specific things you think should be improved in the README or the help, please file a patch :)" What a dumb fuck you have to be to act that way??1
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I'm looking for a licence
I'd like to publish open-source projects with a licence to the extent of "free without restrictions for noncommercial use forever, contact me for anything else", the idea being that if you intend to make a profit you should care enough to email the authors of complicated things your business relies on and agree on a fee or share of profits.
I'm unsure how to handle pull requests. Asking for right to relicence the patch could be an option.
do you know a licence with similar ideas?5 -
I feel like the "DEL | PUT | PATCH" verb are overrated. I still cannot see it's usefulness to this day.16
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Was patch Tuesday for Windows 10 canceled because yesterday was a US holiday? No updates are available today and it’s 5PM now. Was gonna install before I go to dinner.2
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i wonder of the programmers/ designers for the game The divison are here.. if so.. you guys fucking suck! geez. never played or even hear of a game with so many bugs and glitches. then when they patch it. they actually make the game worse.
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To this day if I could do find the people who decided they'd break the rest of what is going on beyond the partial truth of people deserving punishment getting it I'd happily remove their skin a patch at a time over days if I thought our encounter wasn't a set up.
To take joy in slowly destroying not only freedom in this country but the good with the bad and all future prospects for everyone heh
And make some people look around and not even see an inkling of humanity in the gawking gabbing critters often commenting on their posts for example4 -
What news sources or blogs do you guys use to keep up with your current stacks, or even use to get into other stacks? For example, I usually keep within the Microsoft world of things, so I spend some time periodically going through patch notes on .net or the latest version of vs. If I want to get out of my comfort zone Ill look at a blog like hanselman, or I used to look at spolsky's blog before he went pretty inactive.
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