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I think the most annoying thing of being a programmer is to accidentally press ctrl + s on a browser because of having been saving so much36
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Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?
Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"
Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"
He walked off... I may need a new job next week!14 -
PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.
PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED
Solving problems genie style!
Who's next?8 -
Boss: "If I double-click this button, the modal it opens flicker once for 0.00001 seconds?!?!?!?"
Me: "Ya... It opens two modals. It doesn't break anything, it looks normal except the flickering"
Boss: "It's no good!"
Me: "I've got a solution; don't fucking double click. It's a fucking website."
Boss: "IT'S NOT A WEBSITE. IT'S A SYSTEM"
Me: "It's a fucking website" *Exits room, trying not to strangle the boss".12 -
Boss: "I need you to program tool-1, tool-2 and tool-3"
Me: *creates tool-1*
Boss: "Why did you make tool-1? I needed tool-3 done by now"
Maybe you should have told me that 🙃5 -
Do you reckon there could be other rant boards out there? Developers can't be the only people with problems... AccountantRant? TruckieRant? PainterRant?
...PresidentRant? Oh wait, that's his Twitter...8 -
never had problems with windows,
joined devRant and read about problems,
now I have problems with windows.6 -
I am so fucking sleepy. Haven't slept since the last 20 hours.
Trying to change my habit of sleeping late. Have tried to fix it but it always finds a way to go back to late night.34 -
Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.
So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!
For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.
It's so hard to not be girly by nature.17 -
$ sudo apt install happiness
Collecting happiness
Error : no happiness package found for your system
$ sudo apt uninstall problems
Error : even sudo can't remove your problems from your system
WAIT !!!! WHAT???3 -
when you release an update and everyone starts to see problems with functions you didn't even touch
3 -
If someone had ever gave me a chance to choose between taming a dragon and mastering CSS.
I'd be father of 2 dragons by now.4 -
Changing default branch name from "master" to "main" is just one more entry in the already very long list of "things sane people must do because some retarded american woke up one day and decided to be offended".
I am so fucking tired of the entire world having to accommodate to the first-world-problems of some spoiled brat just because they happen to be american.38 -
Stuck at a concert for band my girlfriend likes on a Friday night... so many side projects could be worked on right now1
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So, I'm studying computer engineering in school, so a lot of people have decided I'm the tech one in the group and come to me with all there computer problems.
I'm constantly explaining basic things about their computers, how to exit vim, why using git is a lot easier then having 100 versions of files, how to change directories from the terminal. Simple things like that and while I normally don't mind, all these people are also in computer engineering and should really know all this stuff too.8 -
Finally Spend two fucking days debugging shit until I figured it it. Freaking stupid shit encoding problems and old data combined isn't fun. Dafuq why can't everybody use UTF-8 or Unicode or something else but PLEASE stop using some old school IBM shit codepages.
Leckt mich doch am arsch mit diesem scheiß man -_-4 -
Does any1 had experienced this........ Once u have fixed ur mum's Computer and all its future problems is coz of u 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐13
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Every single fucking time I run into problems, the problems are very specific edge cases of common problems.
The search results however, are created by an army of retards, they're a sea of answers to the common problem. They drown out my super specific edge case.
And then someone dares to half-read my stackoverflow question, and immediately mark it as duplicate.
Ugh.6 -
Your code is supposed to solve the primary problem you have. It is not supposed to create problems and solve those problems you do not have initially.5
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Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...
Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?3 -
I was freaking out today when a program I have to demo in two days suddenly stopped working correctly. Turned out not that bad when I found my dog added some characters to the server address in the config file when I laid my computer on the bed last night.2
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So RelianceJio is offering LTE at rates as low as $1 for 1GB data. And totally free calls on its internal network. No roaming too. Promo offer including everything free for 3 months.
And me. I own a 3G device. 🤕🤒17 -
Anyone else make the weirdest workarounds ever to trivial framework problems. Then read documentation to find out that there was a function for that...
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I wish my classmates didn’t know that I’m good at programming.
Recently, more and more often I am being reached out to by my classmates (and especially by one individual) about the problems they’re having issues with. For example yesterday, a guy fucked up his Git commit and made a bunch of merge conflicts, so I helped him fix this, which then lead to WinForms having multiple declarations of same objects.
And I really don’t wanna be rude, and I always try to help, for the love of god - stop bothering me every 5 minutes while I code, or at 10 PM while I wanna chill out.
Most of the things they have problems with can be solved by 2 minute Googling and I strongly believe that at the university level, you should be able to find solutions for your problems yourself - especially when you’re a programmer.18 -
That kind of boss who give you a task one minute before you leave your desk to home.
Me inside: I hate you, very much, sir.3 -
I seriously hate email problems with a passion. Like even when I step through every setting, checking things one by one. Everything seems fine, yet my clients email is getting rejected incoming and out and the only error is basically whoops it bounced! pretty much anything could've cause this.. yeah that's very helpful.7
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So, just started my new job (stoked btw). At the last interview - boss: what kind of OS do you work on?
Me: I'm a simple guy who uses windows and notepad++
First day at work - get a brand spankin' new macbook and endure the most unproductive day ever...19 -
Windows...:
Problemsolver could not be opened because there was a problem...
Thanks! That totally fixed it🙃🔫4 -
Compared to some developers our problems are acute. Compared to some developers our problems are very cute.
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Ever encrypt files on a USB drive before?
Ever do that then forget the password you used for the encryption?
Yep... 😭11 -
So apparently the CIO knows all about my team lead sucking it up as a boss, and is letting him do it. He's constantly on the team leads ass about stuff and it's stressing him out.
The CIO wants him to stop being so micro managey and let the team handle things... But instead of telling the team lead that, he'd rather just blast him constantly and stress him out which makes it roll onto us and stress the whole team out.
I wish the CIO would just tell him to square up or just fire him... This stress isn't good for anyone. -
Definition of C++: super fast language with lots of problems.
Definition of Rust: C++ without all the problems, an awsome package manager and community made of real people!11 -
What to do when you have no more faith in your capabilities and it feels like your ambition and drive to dev just kinda died... Thinking of becoming a cashier or restocking shelves at wallmart... (-_-)7
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Just got ParrotSec as dual boot.
Still have a lot of problems, but the look and feel is awesome. Hope I can fix the problems soon.
4 -
I'm honestly so happy and grateful to be in the world of web development. It's an amazing space to be in when you enjoy solving problems.
Consistently fast evolving and ever changing technologies means new and exciting problems are endless!
But I swear to all that is motherfucking holy, if I have to keep solving exactly the same problems over and over because the place I work at won't let me provide permanent solutions to old problems... I'm going. To. Lose. My. Freaking. Mind6 -
Ya know what I hate? People who always find an excuse to let people know about their problems or if they are vegan.
Every time I'm like, THANKS! DIDN'T ASK!4 -
I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.
A stress ball could really help.1 -
When your egghead boss (who is a dev, BTW) fails miserably in understanding that JavaScript fetch does not behave like the default synchronous nature of requests in Python.
After failing to make him learn about the asynchronous nature of JavaScript promises, he ends the discussion by saying "that's why python is better than js"
*facepalm*2 -
one of those days where the boss has his weekly amnesia and completely forgot an agreed feature discussion.. sigh..8
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Am I the only one who frequently forgets to hit the insert key again when I'm done with it and then go and accidentally overwrite some other stuff unintentionally?
4 -
I have this coworker who praises himself or being vegan an caring a lot about the world and his health, but smokes and drinks quite a lot. He also is very friendly with everyone but then he privately complains about them with me and goes back to be friendly.
I could ignored this behavior until it started affecting me. Now he is just passive aggressive with everyone, including me. The kind of guy who sends a slightly bitter comment with a wink at the end almost everyday. The kind of guy who will talk to you non-stop like he is your best friend and next morning don't even look at you. The one who will try to teach you some lesson whenever you say something publicly (which he did tons of times and ended up fucking up because he had no idea what he was talking about).
I feel like ignoring him from now on no matter what he says, because he is only waiting for the perfect opportunity to make you feel like a not caring human being so he can keep standing out and controlling everyone. Yes, if you ever try to organize something, he will make sure to criticize you.
So... that's it.2 -
I started dealing with the problems of life as I do with the programming ones: i divide the problems into subproblems
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You know you are stepping up when your problems are issues on GitHub rather than questions on StackOverflow.1
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Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available, they will create their own problems. It’s an addiction.
😊😊😊1 -
My over promising boss is upset that something that used to work doesn't work now because support decided it had to be changed. We took it apart to rebuild it and it's only partially finished right now. Says he can't show it to clients like this. Well no we told you it wouldn't be ready for the deadline you forced upon us, even before the requested changes, but instead of listening you tell us not to argue and just get it done.3
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So my Dell laptop has been freezing for a couple of weeks.
I thought it was the Slack desktop app that was causing it, so I uninstalled it. Still froze.
So I did a whole bunch of things on it to try to fix it, even restarting Windows 10. Still froze.
Then I thought it was the Dropbox app that was causing it, so I disabled it from starting up when I turn on the laptop. For a while, the laptop didn't freeze.
Then my desktop computer started freezing too from time to time. I was like, "WTF!"
It could be the Windows Update that's causing it, because there was an update going on around the time the freeze-ups happened. Now my laptop is on the "Getting Windows ready, Don't turn off your computer" screen after hard-booting it.4 -
New team, same discussions...
* Why should we use cmake? It is way better to add visual studio project files to the repository and allow everyone to mess around in the compiler setting dialogs. Nobody needs cmake if not targeting multiple platforms!
* clang-format? What kind of black magic is this? It is way better to manually try to stick with each source file's existing formatting - regardless of how messed up it is - and manually check that from time to time!
* Why should we use the latest visual studio 2019 compiler, if 2017 and 2015 do just fine? This way we can save license fees!
/irony off
Just to mention a few highlights...13 -
I'm I the only one who doesn't face any problems with windows updates? Not sure why people complaining so much about it and the rant feed is full of windows update problems. Strange!4
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!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
*At the Maker Faire in Milwaukee; I’m looking at a computer with a friend that his brother built*
Old Guy: This is pretty cool! You guys should start a YouTube channel. Look, you even have a pretty girl who can show it off!
Friend: *looks at me awkwardly* Or you can, you know, be a programmer too...
😑😑😑4 -
Last time I had a cup of hot water instead of coffee. This time I have 2 cups of coffee on my table. Can you remind me what's life?
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Typical development cycle:
Spend hours trying to think of a solution to a problem.
Get epiphany and implement possible solution.
Be afraid to compile it in case of bugs or errors4 -
Usual python code problems coming from someone who has been coding in Javascript and PHP (<--no pitchforks please). It's been months already but old habits still keep on coming back
- adding a semi-colon
- mixing spaces with tabs
- using a lowercase boolean
- adding an open brace when declaring a function
- forgetting the colon ( ;'s brother) -
I don't know if this is exactly a rant. But - I am sure somewhere out there has run into this situation before.
I've been a developer (professionally) for a 3 years. And in that time I've stayed with that same company.
Over that time its become incredibly apparent that my boss (senior developer) isn't exactly keen on new technologies, source control (I had to push hard for this. And even then he doesn't use it properly), or any kind of project management. It's only he and I.
I've started interviewing other places and while I have no problems answering their technical questions. I'm worried my lack of experience in a team is becoming a problem.
We don't work on projects together. We don't do code reviews. He does not ask my opinion on anything. We are basically two separate teams. I want to improve as a developer. I love the rest of the company and I enjoy what I'm working on. I just feel I'm hindering my growth as a developer.
Anyone have any advice? I know I can find a project to contribute to on github or something. But honestly that's intimidating to me for some reason. I am self taught. And don't have any experience in working with teams.4 -
I don’t know exactly what problems software companies are trying to solve but from some time I started thinking that those are no longer people friendly related problems.2
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Ehh.....
Another day of problems with Windows, just removed 96 unsafe files (Trojans, Malware, Adware etc.)...
At first, Defender refused to work with me, I tried to remove that with Defender (which found just 7 treats), but 'remove' or 'quarantine' didn't work, so I downloaded Malwarebytes and now works fine. Still, some minor problems, gonna format this crap soon...or maybe it's time to move to Linux or macOS finally? 🤔9 -
First World problems. Do I upgrade my 120gb (with 40gb free) to a 256 or replace my 1tb platter (700gv free) with a 500gb SSD.6
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Coworker renamed constants in repo for her own code and left for 3 weeks... Even told me she replaced and fixed everything!
Unfortunately the renaming got together with a different functionality and have to rework every part where it's used next week...
Just one out of many problems at my work...
Fucking sucks...1 -
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
WTF🤯2 -
Hi developers.... so i just feel like posting this post
I'm a self-taught developer its been 6 years now and i managed to get myself a job this year at a tech startup and they actually developed this developer department just for me..... with the promise that if i manage to get this department up and running I'll get a higher position as the company grows
So it's been 4 months now and i think i'm doing exceptionally well as a developer since I'm the only developer in that organization..... and some how I feel like if i use my problem solving skills to work on other real world problems not just code and designing systems..... like bringing solutions to real none code related problems i could actually achieve more and make a big difference
but I'm actually learning a lot and hope i'll become more and do more within this organization and grab that top position role3 -
Create something that will take humanity forward. Not just a utility software but make things that'll help solve the biggest problems humans as a society face - poverty, hunger, loneliness, pollution etc. All these problems are on my radar.
The idea is to use science to solve social problems. And not just stop at that. Make things that will help humans evolve into the next evolutionary phase.2 -
The thing that is common between my boss and my girlfriend is none of 'em understand what I actually want or want to say and always misunderstood me.5
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If you're having merge problems I feel bad for you son, you've got 99 problems but my branch ain't one!1
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My productivity is dying for want of a second monitor. I've been hooking up a new-ish HP external LCD to my brand new HP Spectre laptop. Every time I do this, the laptop soon locks up. Won't launch programs, won't even let me click the Windows button to restart. Have to hard reset and go back to single 15" screen. THEY'RE THE SAME BRAND?! WHY ARENT THEY COMPATIBLE?!4
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Me: Ok, this sounds like a good idea, however we need to consult the Act to ensure we're not breaking any laws by requesting this new information and making it mandatory.
Boss: I am trying to ensure good database management and data design principles, why can't you just agree with me?
Me:... I agree with you... But changing up the process like this may put us in hot water, let's just check to ensure we're good on the legal front --
Boss: The law is just a guide. My primary concern and your concern should be the design of this database and ensuring we stick to good data management principles!
Me and other technical staff: 👀6 -
Me solving a problem x
Open google types
Me: {
"How to's x ...."
}
google: {
dev overflow first result: very complicated solution
result 2: Even more complicated
result 3: Out of topic
... Irrelevant
}
Me: {
"Google's: Why x sucks" // To see if we are many victims
}
google: {
"Returns all positive reviews of x"
}
Me: Bitter, Confused and in denial -
I don't know what's wrong with me..
Within one day I basically lost interest in everything I do. I just don't see the point of all this anymore.
And the bad thing is, that I don't even know where that comes from so suddenly, everything is going fine, but still.. Life just feels like pain at the moment.
Don't want do drag down someone else with me and I sincerely apologise if it's too late to mention it at this point, just hope that maybe someone here can understand what's going on or give me some advice on how to fix my situation.7 -
If you could solve *one* of the major unresolved problems in computer science, which one would you choose and *why*?15
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Fellow dev: I am trying to put a joomla site in git.. Maybe you can help
Me: Sure what's the problem.
Fellow dev: I added the .gitignore file but when I clone the site onto the server all the files in the .gitignore are missing.
Me: Any files you add to git ignore are ignored by .git.
Me: Dies a little bit inside, is guy has been working with for over a year. -
How do you deal with a boss that is not very intelligent, but fights you, your team, executive management and project stakeholders on critical system design decisions?
Everyone else is worn out, the project is long overdue and I'm running out of energy, myself. Do I just do what everyone else does and let him have his way and prepare myself to deal with the imminent problems ahead, or do I keep fighting for a well designed system that customers will enjoy using?6 -
Functional Programming being touted as the silver bullet for all types of modern programming challenges.
Why? As far as I can tell, it doesn't deliver. Sure certain approaches help with specific kinds of problems. Yet, it is cumbersome for general purpose problems and downright harmful for performance critical problems. For doing math problems it is great and I see value. For most else, eh, I have work to do.10 -
So.. I'm migrating a physical server to a virtual (Hyper-V) one.
The physical server is running Windows Server 2008 R2 with IIS6 and Windows SQL Server 2012.
I've set up a VM with Windows Server 2016, IIS10 and Windows SQL Server 2017.
I'm testing with just moving 1 db at a time (we have about 20, 1 per client running this software and a few others) and I've already imported all of the IIS sites.
So the database import and IIS import went smoothly and was surprisingly without hassle but now I'm trying to run the website that I imported the database for and it is throwing 503 Errors at me.
I've been trying to find out the cause but for some reason IIS isn't making any logs.
It's not any 64/32bit system problems (they're both x64) and I can't seem to find anything wrong with the imported config.
Anyone got any ideas?18 -
Email from vendor: "Will you require SSL?"
WTF. So many problems with this question. Am I alone in my frustration? What problems do YOU see with that question?7 -
Boss: how long would that feature take?
Me: About 2 weeks to implement and test.
Boss: hmm, can it be done it 1 week instead?
Me: .....3 -
Him: "I'm updating a site and I'm trying to find the REST endpoints you put out to replace the SOAP services"
Me: "Send me a list of endpoints it's using and I'll tell you what the new ones are"
Him: "Here's a list of the endpoints. The ones I've found are in bold"
Me: "Here's the new list."
Him: "Why did you only fill out the ones I'm not using?"
So, FML, he sent me a list of everything in the WSDL and bolded the ones he "found" in his code. And I'm the asshole for getting frustrated that he wasted 30 minutes of my time. -
Systems guy: this is how you slow down development projects. By tying design to a software development ticket.
Software guy: yeah but that's how you get reminded to do the work and tie a design requirement to the software development effort in the ticket.
Systems: why do I need to be reminded of my design work?
Me: because you're a year behind software and at this point you are just documenting what software has already done?
Sometimes I feel like the design guys don't understand that if they want to be involved in the process they need to NOT keep us waiting until right up against the deadline to give us the design. -
I am that point in my life where ranting about problems isn't even helping me.
Honestly speaking I am a just lazy person. Solving problems will help me.... and I am looking forward to it1 -
Solving leetcode problems for fun, as I’m highly interested in algorithm problems....and I go to the area where the discussion is, and this spaghetti is the first thing I see 😱
13 -
Got the chance to get into developing a monitoring frontend...
Imagine the step in between if your previous task was *phone up*, *translating consumer problems into consultants problems*, *phone down* -
Finding and solving problems on virtual computers in PC Building Simulator helps with the stress of a long day of finding and solving problems on real computers.3
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Money burned! Just bought a voucher for the Java certification exam
- like this will help solve all my problems :/3 -
Fellow dev: I need a new car at the same time am planning to wed. My cash can't cater for both.
Other dev: Congratulations, you have grown up problems -
Can’t sleep these days.
Life sucks, death sucks more.
Computers break nowadays
My keyboard is full of dirt ore.
I miss two keys up and down
so looks there is no hell or heaven.
Twitch data leak is downloading slow,
I made buns in the oven.
I’m in the spiral of death,
my born was meaningless,
hot milk is hurting my teeth,
I use it to invoke sleepiness.
Nothing works,
everyone showoff
everything breaks,
I’m powering off3 -
As a programmer I solve my life problems using programming too..
<?php
$problemSolved = “Fuck Life!!!”;
echo $problemSolved;
?>4 -
Newbie advice:
Break large problems into smaller problems then use the smaller problems to name tour functions/methods -
Email all staff. Important! We are having problems with the firewall.
Sure as shit we still get the help desk emails that start "is there a problems with email" -
I have technical problems with postgresql, AlienVault, Xenservers and Fortigate. I should be reading manuals and going through forums and mailing lists but instead, I'm reading ebooks in personal development like time management, verbal communications improvement and personal finance.
What is wrong with me?1 -
So today I had to fiddle around with obfuscation software to obfuscate software we are going to release....
4 tries in and the software is still crashing with different exceptions each time....
And at the same moment this text came in to my mind:
"If software is working after obfuscation it's not obfuscated enough"2 -
Sometimes i need longer on the simple code than on the challanging code, because it's harder to distract me while i'm solving a problem
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Started today by solving it, seemingly with no problems at all!
Last week i had extreme problems regarding some async ajax-calls.
Sort of felt like i dreamt about a solution. -
When you have friends who think staying home during Saturday and Sunday is wastage of the weekend while you hate going out 🙁4
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My Bluetooth mouse kept disconnecting from my computer, and it's been years since my delicate hands have touched a mouse as crappy as the "temporary solution" my boss offered me
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Advent of code is a bit crap this year. These early problems aren't hard per-se, they're just annoyingly time consuming for early day problems.
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I think i just had an amazing idea. All algo problems should be pushed with a team world problem they knowing the thinking behind the algo solution would help solve the real problem.3
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As if development problems weren't enough, there's also bullshit deployment problems to deal with first. Sigh.
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When your boss asks question about errors in a project and says he's trying to figure out what causes the problems. If I knew the problems I would already had let them fixed.
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Im starting to loose interest in development, im afraid im stuck inbetween the part where im getting confused on what i really love!1
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Some people please help with the ux on flip, it does not work and causes problems, what are your suggestions, or plans?
4
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