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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.
please code like it.7 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
There is no shame in using google to program.
'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.
Why?
No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.
Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.12 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
I can't watch others use a computer.
That's not how you ask google a question.
You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.
Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?
Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?13 -
1. Purchased GTA San Andreas from Google Play
2. Always got a download failure at 85% downloaded.
3. Contacted Google support, got asked how my day was going
4. Had no idea how to answer that11 -
Got some swag in the mail today.
I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.
For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?
6 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
DevRant is madness
Screen shots of people installing Linux on Game consoles.
Windows on soda machines.
macOS on anything.
Madness I tell you. MADNESS!3 -
I have a lot of respect for anyone who can design a good looking website.
I can code like crazy. And I was a freelance classically trained illustrator for 10 years. But ask me to design a website and it's all spinning giffs, midi tracks, and Comic Sans. Some kind of early 90's geocities nightmare.7 -
see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.
when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.4 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.
Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *
UPDATE: mark made some changes
UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different
UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before
BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back
UPDATE: we all hate andrew15 -
Pair programing on project with friend.
We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.
Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.1 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.9 -
My git password is only muscle memory at this point.
If I accidentally try to think about what I'm typing I end locking myself out for the rest of the day.5 -
Interviewing front end developers with my boss.
Only skill I care about is knowing git.
HEY FRONT END DEVELOPERS!
LEARN GIT!13 -
I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.
2 -
No amount of backend code is seen as progress by client.
Have a web store app project that is running and looking beautifully and is currently connected to nothing.
Got scolded this week for not having any new deliverables.
Spent 15 hours on security updates and database architecture.5 -
Sometimes I love my job, working on client site today.
"Hey we're training a new girl up do you like Warsteiner?"
"Yeah, why?"
Puts pint in front of me
"Thanks"
10 minutes later
"Hey this one was poured by mistake"
Second pint
"Have you tried the San Miguel yet?"
Third pint....4 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.
Really tall steps.
And they go on forever.
Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.
The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.5 -
@dfox
Fat avatar plz.
Not all programmers are steve jobs, some are Steve Woz.
Not proud to be fat, not claiming fat shaming.
I just want to be represented.
Not upset if this is not possible, just a suggestion.
Willing to do the art myself if you like.13 -
After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.
Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.1 -
a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."3
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I am not saying I trust 'the cloud' 100%, but having the freedom to wipe your phone, laptop, or pc at a moments notice without a second thought or worry is an incredible feeling.
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Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.
12 -
The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.
Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.1 -
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
There is no such thing as an 'idea' person.
Learn to art, learn to code, or learn to FUCK OFF!
Talented people can take bad ideas and make gold.
Without skill the best idea will turn out garbage.2 -
accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.
thank goodness for remote server images.5 -
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
My brain is melting.
6 hours straight of just Refactoring without a break.
Technical debt is real, it is a bitch, and so are clients to expect to 'see' changes every week.
Boss tells me we need to balance doing work on things the client can play with and the backend code that does it all... 😧ok....
'TODO: remove sample return and connect to backen' As far as the eye can see.3 -
Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.
Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.
Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.
Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.
Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.4 -
Whoever's the fucker that want my pictures over in DMs in Discord please stop asking for it or I swear a big tiddy onee-san will ara ara you in bed, and that won't be me18
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Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
Good news everyone!
unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();13 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
Dear recruiters and so called "startups".
If you want to attract me by starting with the phrase: "Mobile lead role in Startup" and you go on like...
"We are a startup with offices in Shanghai, Hongkong, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York,... "
or
"We are a startup and also the 6th biggest phone network in the world... "
No thanks, enjoy your startup themed cubicles and fuck off!5 -
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.
spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.
i have a great job so my boss supports me.5 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
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Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
Updating code for big client.
Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.
Do not trust the user!2 -
Dev rant logo has face sideways.
But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.
Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me. -
I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.5
-
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google4 -
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
Worked from home,
Ate lunch at home,
Stayed in for dinner.
I did not see the sky at all yesterday. 😫5 -
@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?
I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥8 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
-
I don't want to ctrl+z my family.
But is there a way to git stash the lot till I get this project done?3 -
You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.2
-
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.
Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅7 -
Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.
2 -
Worked as the hardware QA for a storage company. Some tests took a week to set up and several weeks of scripts to run through for IP-SAN certifications. CEO's little pet came downstairs and asked if I could tear down some of the raid configurations and "make all of the lights on the servers blink a lot". He had some clients he was working pretty hard.
Sure... your blinkin' lights just set this release back almost a month.3 -
😤 sometimes when I read devRant comments...😧
If I wanted a solution I would ask on stack overflow.
Let me have my hate.
I have a pm to force choke.
3 -
Had to modify, but phone case is looking good.
(Took embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take photo of phone case, ala, just take phone out of case.)😅
4 -
Spent half day trying to figure out why internet stopped working in he office.
Somehow, the tangle of wires behind computer created some kind of Faraday cage that was blocking / interfering with the signal.
Just the most insane IT problem ever.1 -
Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??
Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!6 -
Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.
class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}
3 -
Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.6
-
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.1
-
The clients website was so slow,
How slow was it?!
This site was so slow the goodle speed test timed out. -
No. No. And Absolutely No.
The Three Laws of Robotics MUST not be broken.
https://cnn.com/2022/11/...21 -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
One more time.
ppi != resolution != size ! = aspect ratio
ppi is a measurement of sharpness.
Resolution is the depth of pixels.
Size is width and height mesured in units.
Aspect ratio is the... ratio of width to height.2 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
On the week I went on holiday there was a fire alarm in our data center and the Halon fire suppression system was deployed.
I always miss the excitement.
Apparently our servers rolled over perfectly and we had less than 5 min downtime though, even with 4 killed drives in our SAN. So that's a win.
Kudos to our system administration team, especially the poor bastard who was sat in the data center with his toddler at fuck-my-life-o'clock in the morning.1 -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
wk257 - How did you learn to program?
GTA San Andreas Multiplayer Mod (SAMP), when I was maybe 14. Then some Java in high school. Studied Engineering and the only thing that didn't completely suck was programming (C), so I changed my field to work as a dev.2 -
Seagate: A reliable source of unreliable NAS Drives. Rest assured, that they're gonna fail way before everything else, so that you're warned, when your other drives may not last much longer too ◔ᴗ◔
I stopped laughing, when my NAS' external Backup Drive, a Seagate, started throwing I/O Errors ๏̯͡๏2 -
Hey!
I won a competition called “Google Code-In” and I’ll be in San Francisco this June. We’ll be visiting Google’s office is San Francisco & Mountain View. I would also like to visit other offices. Are there any which are open for public visit ?2 -
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
I've written an insertion sort algorithm in my own esoteric programming language!
I also like to call it 'San Francisco sort'.
Explanation: https://github.com/iamgio/pikt/...
8 -
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
So as some of you may know from my previous rants I am recently single, and it occured to me that that means I can move, like, anywhere. And I think I might just do that. I'm currently in in Utah, USA, living about 50 miles from where I was raised, and I'm kinda sick of it.
Sooooo... Suggestions? I have been thinking about maybe the UK or Germany, or if I stay in the US maybe San Diego, Denver, or New York City, but I am open to many possibilities. What do you guys think?14 -
Got this in my LinkedIn inbox today
"I see you are open to new job opportunity!
I am looking for Sr. Android Developer for a start-up company in San Francisco. They are rebuilding their Android SDK and looking for an Android Engineer like you.
Let me know if you are interested. I would be happy to have a quick chat with you and share more details."
Apparently they're developing a new way of Android development 🤔5 -
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.
-
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point.2 -
The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.
For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.1 -
First time today trying a sensory deprivation chamber.
All I could think was
"error no input signal"4 -
I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.1 -
1. Put idea on roadmap
2. Work out simple implementation
3. Productowner-san, please notice me.
4. Other devs pile on cool but complex ideas
5. A 4 hour meeting later, original simple idea is rejected because it's "out of scope" and there is "no consensus about implementation"
6. I already built it during the meeting
7. I sip my coffee while I enjoy the annoyed gasps as coworkers receive PR notifications.
8. FUCKING DARE TO REJECT IT COCK SUCKING SCRUMBAGS.2 -
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.
Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.2 -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
I have a lot of fun during crunch time.
It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.
But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.
You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.
"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '
Otherwise a lot of fun. -
Facebook owner Meta Platforms, 2,564 job cuts in Menlo Park, San Francisco, Fremont, Sunnyvale and Burlingame
Google, 1,608 layoffs in Mountain View, Moffett Field, San Bruno and Palo Alto
Salesforce, 1,151 staff cutbacks in San Francisco
Twitter, 900 layoffs in San Francisco and San Jose
Cisco Systems, 673 job cuts in San Jose, Milpitas and San Francisco
Grocery Delivery E-Services (HelloFresh), 611 layoffs in Richmond
Amazon, 524 staffing cuts in Sunnyvale and San Francisco
Intel, 490 job cuts in Santa Clara and San Jose
Rivian Automotive, 448 layoffs in Palo Alto
Lam Research, 400 staffing cuts in Fremont and Livermore13 -
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
-
I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.
You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....
Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on. -
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
Si I live in México, and a big university is giving this 8 day course on machine Learning and automated robotics and I was accepted!! And I'm super pumped, because I really want to work in the industry and love taking any posible oportunity to learn something new.
This also is a perfect excuse to travel to Guadalajara and get all of my questions about the university answerd
There it is, I just wanted to be excited somewhere else xd6 -
any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
-
Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.7
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Have you ever gotten a job working on a project you generally understand conceptually, and on day one, with zero knowledge of the specifics, you are now in charge of said project with no one to ask about the standards or procedures?
Then again, why would you ask anyone, after all, you're in charge.5 -
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
"Thanks XYZ-san for the clarification.
We will take the defect to next level." - A colleague in an email to the client
😐 the fuck does she mean take the defect to the next level!!!!2 -
!dev && !rant
Anyone here from San Antonio Tx? I am in town for 2 days. It would be nice if we can meet up(if I get the time that is)
Little family vacation, lil leisure time.3 -
random lady overhears my boyfriend and me discussing where we will sit for the last few minutes before boarding our plane:
"I can see you're going to San Jose"
"why do you say that?"
"you're very analytical"
We're on our way to Vegas and were only sitting near the San Jose gate for precious, precious electricity -
Was freelance artist for 10 years.
Decided it would be easier to learn to program than to get clients to pay.3 -
My daily commute to work is tiring me the fuck out, so much I wrote this little poem to my nagging friend just now..
//
I'm in no mood to think,
life currently flows by,
extinction, on the brink.
While I stand by,
and let things sink.
//
Now I'm "lowkeyemo-san".
FML :') -
@dfox
Awesome devrant podcasts.
Seriously, if you enjoy devrant you will be really impressed with the two they have done so far.
Surprised at the five star guests they have gotten so far.
Just need to net Uncle Bob. -
Hey, I want to name a library of mine something like "San'stools" So it's like "the tools from San" but it can also be "San's stools".
I looked up if stools meant what I thought it meant, little seat stuff, but apparently it's also dump...
Would it be too disgusting? Should I use another name?
How often is the word stool used to refer to... you know...?6 -
Spend the same amount of time looking for and testing existing npm packages as it would take to build something from scratch.
Nothing yet, but Boss is still certain that building our own is unnecessary.
😐 -
So many 'my Precious' devrant stickers, but nowhere to put them.
Waiting for new laptop in three months, trade out phone every year so don't want to waist them there.
Friend: you can give one to me.
HISSSSSSSSSS!
Friend: woah, dude?
Yeah, they do look sad just sitting in the envelope they came in. Here you go.
Friend: Thanks. I don't know, still looks sad on my laptop.
Well, that's cause your laptop's shit init.1 -
When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.
Happens more than I like.
"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code1 -
In case you haven't heard:
https://change.org/p/...
Heh... Talk about making a lot of dev enemies...
Am I allowed to do this?9 -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
Holding back so hard on getting a new laptop.
We are so close to getting the hardware i want at the price I can accept.1 -
on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
Have a lot to do so I only sleep for four hours.
Next day take 4 hour nap and waste entire afternoon.
Productivity pre alpha. -
"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
I want to talk at a frontend conference. I've been dev'ing for 15 years. What do y'all want to know. Comment and up vote topics.4
-
Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
Want to downvote comment out of pride, but know I must up vote to acknowledge that I have been properly burned and put in my place.
Be good sports when this happens to you and do the same.3 -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
Yesterday I was invited to rackspace's offices in San Antonio.
Their people are so nice and they're full of great culture. That's truely a fanatical support those guys offer, also their IT security team is so reliable, they take their work really serious and I mean REALLY serious, I'd love to work at rackspace some day.
Best place ever.1 -
Dear clients
Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it. -
Area of focus?
Whatever the client currently needs.
Because, who has time to specialize when there are bills to pay? -
when i brought the vive home the wife was all, meah😒, at first then, 😲 oh my goodness this is the halo deck, our future is an empty room with vr goggles.
-
Site working for me and not coworker during testing.
Go crazzy for 10 minutes.
Find resource pointed to http://localhost/file.php
Feel silly rest of day. -
By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
When you go from compiling/testing code on every line change to not checking for hours and it just works when you run it.
😎
Not always, but sometimes. -
Attended KubeCon this week in San Diego. Was amazing great speakers great ppl all around.
Its amazing to see an open source community get together to share. I was not expecting there were goin to be more than 12k attendees!!
-
Bought a new Bare-metal Server in India and SSH to it was visibly slow (even when it's a 1GBpS line)
Did a trace-route via my location in South East Asia
The pings went from SEA -> San Jose (im guessing US) -> … more US -> Chiba (Japan) -> … more Japan -> Singapore -> India.
So it crosses CONTINENTS and OCEANS even though both are in Asia, connected by land.
Also, there's direct submarine cable route to Singapore, so why go to US in the first plane :v
Idk whom to blame but have internet routes always been this unmanaged/inefficient? I was sure DCs go out of their way to ensure the shortest connection route is followed -.- but look at this ffs7 -
for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
1 -
!rant
I just landed in San Antonio for the assertjs conference! I’m excited to learn something new this week. Anyone else attending? -
write comment about posters preference of device or OS.
close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.
delete comment.
feel good about choice.
good for me. -
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
Working with friend and using nodejs websockets and SVG to build online multiplayer lazer screen arcade like games.
The only delay is having to stop every couple of minutes to restate how cool this is. -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
Sick at the start of the week end, then there was daylight savings time.
I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.
Calling it for the day to rest. Sacrificing half the day to save the next two. -
Security theater is not security.
I am still on my mother's cell plan. I pay for it, but she is the primary account holder. We are grandfathered into unlimited no restrictions data, and a new phone yearly, so yeah, not giving that up.
Anyway, when i go to the store to manage the account they say, 'sorry, Sarah needs to come in as the primary account holder.'
'I am sarah' I tell them. I am lying, they know I am lying, and they know I know.
But they have no choice but to go along. I even asked once; they are not allowed to ask for proof of id. I don't know why.
It's just security theater.1 -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
What a week.
A family emergency on Tuesday doesn't stop the client meeting on Thursday.
And yes, that 7 hour block of time was solid programming without stepping away from the computer.
3 -
Any idea how to run ASI loaders for games like Mafia or GTA San Andreas via Wine? (Especially Mafia, cuz I wanna apply widescreen fix)6
-
If you thought your Walmart near you was crazy ... you haven’t been to San Jose Walmart in California .. it’s soooo bad here everything is fucken locked up... I kid you not I’ve never seen such shit, from the people and the environment.... wtf3
-
dear diary(a?), today I met san Pedro.
He broadened along some truffles...
might use them for the paella 1 of those weekends...
...or suffle... with IScream ... on top... mmmm
Aaaaanyway, thanks for keeping this a public secret 4 me =]
P.S. 4 any eventual intruder reading dis : have a wonderful and sunny weekend 2o!7 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
Sigh...
Only on android.
Every browser on every other os is fine.
This is a stupid problem and I hate it.
4 -
I started programming when I was 11 and tried to write scripts for my gta San Andreas "server" in a language called pawno. It was fun but there were only few tutorials so I bought a book about c and immediately was hooked.
Now 8 years later I'm studying informatics and I learned a few other languages including c++ and java during those years.
I'm happy I played gta as a kid : D -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
inherited management and development of a cms that is both beautiful and terrify.
when the developer nefore you was a mystic of programming that you will never be equal to.😅😟😢 -
Heading to San Jose today, business mettings tomorrow till Thursday... first time to California, first time west of Oklahoma..... I’m from West Michigan1
-
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
Any of you guys working around Silicon Valley?
I am visiting San Francisco in april from Denmark, and I Wonder if you guys know of some must-see tech related locations around Silicon Valley?4 -
Any reputable trade magazines or websites i should be looking at that are not just the technology equivalent to the natuonal inquirer?1
-
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
Problem with touchscreens.
Look away from phone for a minute and when I turn back to find I somehow navigated to a settings menu.
Oh crap! Did I change anything?!
Factory reset phone just to be safe. -
Just read an article on cnn.
If people start using the term Aspies for people with aspergers I am just going to start kicking people in the taint.1 -
😢I can't find a solution on stack overflow. All hope is lost!
😽have you tried reading the documentation?
😧oh... there it is. -
the penny-arcade comic today has a part of a conversation I have had before.
me: ... I did some internet research.
friend: Google. First result. Okay, continue. -
Top instrumental bands to listen to while programming?
Adebisi Shank
https://music.youtube.com/watch/...5 -
I'm thinking about studying the best posts to see what is common in them, to make the perfect post and get maximun swag ¿What could be used? xd1
-
Rumble rumble, Steve Jobs, rumble, Wozniak, rumble rumble, turtleneck sweater, rumble, nacho cheese, rumble rumble, atari, apple 2, neakbeard.
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