"I can write a script to do your job"

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

Writing script to handle fan speed now.

This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...

Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎

"Jabba the Script" that's how my girlfriend calls JavaScript.

You ever look as someone and think "I could replace you with a script."?

Costumer: I found a 40 line python script on Stackoverflow to do that.

Dev team: ok, now... how many lines you think we will need to put the python interpreter, libraries and your 40 line script inside an Android and iOS apps with legacy code?

After years in frontend, I still have to google how to link css and script files in html.

TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

Bit out of date but I love this JavaScript explanation!

And that's why my friend has rewritten a script 4 times now

Lecturer: Unfortunately, you will have to manually write these 16 combinations in the program.

Me: *writes a script to generate the combinations*

Anybody knows some python script to overcome captcha especially this...?

I know that my coworker can't write a single fucking operable line of code. So I wrote a script that is called everytime someone pushes new commits. If the commits contain the username of my coworker, create a ticket in YouTrack with the Label "Rewrite", and assign it to the files changed.
So I had that running for a longer time, and my dumbfuck of coworker hardcoded the credentials of the server in a networking library. One of the credentials was his username. He then updated the copyright on the whole project(which adds a copyright in the top of every file), also in the included librarys(!). The script had a check if the files are related to the project or just librarys. In the end, he pushed all of that with another account(in fact, a reporter account), which had another name(and didn't even belong him). So the files didn't belong to the project, the script sees his username anyways, the script assigns a rewrite, and in the end, everyone in the team thinks I'm mad because I(the script with my account) assigned a rewrite to a HUGE library.

PS: It was great fun to remove these copyright notices.

Only for coffee script lovers

$('body').append('<noscript>Please enable javascript in your browser to enjoy all web features.</noscript>');

A saw it this morning. Now i can die.

Yeah, let's teach Java the Script

And this seems to be an official institution created by the city's government. 🤔

I'll start my own series on hacking.

BECOME A HACKER WITH 4 SIMPLE STEPS!!!!!1!

#1 Open cmd

#2 Enter hackermode
Type "color 0a"

#3 write a Hackerscript
Type "%0 | %0"
Step 3 is a bit risky and may fail. Reboot and repeat until you understand why it failed

#4 Realize that the internet is scary place and that you can't trust anyone.

> needs to do a long task with many repeated steps
> writes a script to do it
> writing the script takes more time than actually doing the task
but the satisfaction of seeing that script working :)

Wrote a python script to fetch details of amazon products to monitor price differences.
The script is only 50 lines, which is why I love python!

There must be some sort of punishment for those who write JavaScript "Java Script"

best script ever :))

Presenting my genious automation script :D :D :D

At school in computer class,
Me: (to friend who gets excited from "hacking") Hey look im gonna hack!
Friend: *Turns to watch*
Me: *Does "color a" and "tree"*
Friend: Wow.
Me: *Writes a quick Matrix.bat and opens it*
Friend: Woah guys look he is hacking!!
Me: *Sits there awkwardly*

Website A = Website B
Script to import CSV file on Website A = works
Script to import CSV file on Website B = !works
Clock = 4am
Me = null

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

*Opens a python script*
*A non-dev coworker appears*
Cw: Wow! What's that? A programming language?
Me: Yep, it's a python script.
Cw: It looks like some NASA's stuff. You guys are really crazy.
Me: ...

My university organised a series of shitty seminars and due to shortage of registration it was going to be made mandatory. Registration was a simple google form without sign in, so i wrote a python script and filled the google form with characters of Game of Thrones , Breaking bad and Narcos series. Now the seminar is cancelled.

Me: The script is 85% ready.
Manager: Lets make it do something else, then.

I could replace you with a bash script.

React-Redux's connect() function inspired me to create the coolest way to add numbers in JS:

<script>
function add(num) {
return function(otherNum) {
return num + otherNum
};
};

console.log( add(2)(3) ); // Outputs 5
</script>

I didn't know you could do that. Just found it out!

I made a makefile today. I'm proud. Bye bye gcc script in build.sh!

Wrote a custom printer script in shell.
Went to test the script on some printers.
Neglected to check accuracy of script.
script is supposed to print jpeg.
it doesn't interpret it as an image,
but rather as raw binary in text...
^\<92>Q^H2Ei@0$iA+<89>dl_d<87><8f>Q
mfw each printer in the entire 5 story building
starts printing 500 pages of 
RAW
BINARY

I just saw

`git add . --all&&git commit -m update&&git push`

as a npm script hook m) I don't even care, just surprised it wasn't named yolo.

Word of day:
Hellogrammer
Slang for person who can print "hello world", "hello", or some random string of character in multiple programming languages and whose knowledge is limited to printing string.

Synonyms: hypocrite, stupid, script Kidde....

How secure is devRant? <script>alert("test");</script>

I reversed engineered the network protocol for a game.
I uploaded the source code to GitHub and made a post on UC Forums.

I kept getting bombarded with messages from the same person, it went something like this:

Him: "I can't get this hack to work, pls send finish hack, thanks"
Me: "First of all this is not a complete hack. You actually need to know how to code to use this library."
Guy: "Ok, can u help me make hack for game?"
To keep this short, I basically told him:
"No. Look through the code, learn it, use what you learned."

Couple of hours later he replied:
"Ok. I look through code but don't know how work. Send me code pls."
From the kindness of my heart I made a extremely simplified wrapper for the already simple code and sent him the project files.

He replies with: "Thank for hack, I not able make it work. I build I try inject game but no work. How to run dll file."

At that point I gave up...

Boss asked me to make a script to automate some tasks. After some days i found out that my task will replace the job of one of our colleagues.
Now the *script, that looks like a big project, is almost done.
Feel for the guy.

My sex life:

<script>

$(document).ready(function(){
})

</script>

Tired of stereotypes. It seems that if someone uses a Mac, is posh; if someone uses Windows is a silly cunt, and if someone uses Linux ... well, it seems that's the way to go, right? Well, no.

Suddenly the world is filled with script kids who come and indirectly recriminate you that you have no idea of computer science because you use Ubuntu instead of Arch. That has happened to me with a recently graduated kid.

Really? Do you really consider yourself a good developer only because you have Arch installed and you hate Windows and Apple?
Let people use the system and development software that they prefer most (or that one that their company forces them to use).

This kids have to be more humble and focus on creating better code, help their colleagues and know how to deal with clients.

!rant

As a kid I tried to compress one zip file 4-5 times...self praising myself that I just found the world's best idea to save hard-disk space!!! Only to realise that sometimes, I'm stupid.

Went to buy one course on udemy. Ended up buying 5!!!

Udemy has really nice courses 😁

"Why is doesn't the script work?"
*checks file*
"Oh, the file is empty.😑"

Wrote a python script and debugged in about 3 hours. Script saves a colleague 20 hours per week. #resumeworthy

When a Python script runs at startup

Runs some python3 script in terminal

Me: This script is going to take an hour to complete.
#After 50 minutes...
Me: better copy this line...
#Presses CTRL+C instead of CTRL+SHIFT+C
Me: Wahhhhhhh

No joke, my boss told me to change the name of my Python script

Minifiing js-script in one line...

... Error in Line 1:5363.

A student sent me his code to look for the cause of an error. I spent 2 hours researching if there are any breaking changes in the latest version of AngularJS. Everything looked fine. I could not spot any errors. I tried copying and pasting my own script and link tags, and it worked. I put back his tags, and again got an error.

I almost shot myself in the head when I saw type="text/javascritp" in the script tag he used. I didn't know how to react. It could happen to anybody but I wanted to punch him. Feeling better now.

Wow. Finally, after 159 emails, client installed php script on his server :o

<script>
document.write("Hello Guys");
</script>

Will add better photos in the comments!

A client of mine received an spoofed email from their domain. It was a
script with visual basic source code.

Maybe someone here can explain what the script does?

Client didn't opened the file!

When I wrote a script to automate my commits to SVN... And then used that script to commit itself.... Pure bliss :)

Upcoming script preview

5 mins to write the script, 3 hours to fix the carnage.

Our clients don't know anything about development. Our account manager doesn't know anything about development. For people who don't know a lot about development, the word "script" gets thrown around WAY too much. It makes me cringe.

Every time I play video games I'm analyzing how I would create script/how script works

Shut up, or I will replace you with a very small shell script

I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!

Working on a script that shows weather in a notification because why the hell not.

[edit] such compression much wow, thanks devrant

Never underestimate users disability to follow guidance .

Showed me a screenshot where he started the script immediately and entered another command afterwards. Was kinda confused, since the script runs in an endless loop.

Then he showed me his version of the file...

I just made a script to fix my company's site! I love programming!

When you spend 3 hours writing a script and it's time to test 🤔

So today one of my client told me that my script is freezing their website on IE browsers. I tested and told them that website is being freezed even without my script.
Now they sent me analyzed scenario and they concluded that it freezes 4 out of 10 times without script. But it freezes 12 out if 15 times with script -_-. So there is something really wrong with the script and I need to fix it urgently otherwise they will kick me out. #fuckedupLogic
Funny thing is that same script is loaded in so many other client's website and it doesn't freeze any shit.

Ahahaha

More of a suprise.

Just by error double clicked on WINDOWS machine on a BASH (.sh) script.

Welp, some randon bash processor appered and script was executed correctlly.

I almost shit my pants, it's a script which changes production env.

I was expecting a notepad lol

When your internet doesn't work for 2 hours and you decide to create a stupid script to check the extension of each files and it works at the first try... WTF is happening?

!rant
print("Hello World!")

Erm..... Here goes nothing.
Hello everyone, I'm [REDACTED] from [REDACTED] in the SEA region. I'm a highschool student, 17, with a hobby of programming in Python 3 as a self-taught trial-and-error script kiddy, mostly small scripts from random "Yea I should do that, how long will it take?! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"-moments. I found DevRant while talking with people in a few programming Discord servers. Hope this is enough for a "Hello World!" post....and yea, welcome me to DevRant *pop confetti and hope not forced to clean up later*

So for my programming class, we had to make a game using Scratch. No problem, I said. Scratch is easy stuff. Just drag and drop blocks. Like legos. Legos that actually do shit. Cool.

So my game is about a dog underneath a plinko set, dodging balls that come down the plinko thing. Easy enough. I figured I would spice things up a bit. My teacher has to go through 20 of these games, I figured I'd make mine interesting. I add a little heart system.

Now for those of you who don't know Scratch, or don't care enough to look it up, all of Scratch's codes are within the sprite themselves. They can communicate with other sprites with a thing called broadcasting. When other sprites receive a broadcast, it can activate a script. yeah, cool.

So I had a script on the dog, that broadcasts a message to the heart system to remove a heart when the dog is hit. So to keep things short, I call the broadcast "Dog's hit."

For anyone who knows programming, computers have no clue what an apostrophe or a space is. They can't read it unless you have it all letters, maybe a semicolon. So, I removed the space and apostrophe, with my innocent 17 year-old mind not realizing this makes it "Dogshit."

Game's finished. Finally. Due date comes in, I submit it all proud and everything. I just created the best dog-plinko simulator of all time. Later that day, I show it to my friend, who then points out the typo.

At this point, my teacher already graded it. I went down to see him after school, and he must've known why I went down as soon as I walked in the door, and just cracked up. He told me it was fine, and not to do it again.

I left red.

Gotta love moments when you find legacy code like this :)

P.S. Yeah, that was the whole script, written by just one guy.

Writing a script to do my job

- Why isn't this script working
- Review Error Log
"Incorrect Syntax: line 122"
- There is no line 122
**3 Hours Pass
- Damn had an old broken version of the script still running in the background 😐🔫

Most useful SQL script

We've had Deezer family with the fam for a few months (Yes I actually like deezer) but now they're going to cancel it because I'm the only one who uses it 😞.

Working on a script to automatically update my music library every day through YouTube now 😃.

And yes, I'll still buy my favourite music but I personally find 10 euro a little too much for a streaming service.

Tip: Never add an execution (PHP for example) script as a bookmark in your browser..

Your browser will occasionally poll the saved URL to update the favicon or sync to the server or something like that, which triggers the script without you knowing...

I can't explain why, but I really like writing small tools in shell script.
Its so simple but so powerful.

<py-script> ... Good luck minifying that

So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....

Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?

Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.

Sometimes I wish I could script other people's behavior.

Someone seems to be running a script. I don’t think this is humanly possible within 2 minutes.
@notroot

Dev starts writing C++ in his Python script, what happens next will shock you.

Forgot a keepass password.
Brute force script to find the password.
It worked.

I love Java...

...script!

I had written a script to take a photo every time the laptop lid is open an year ago. It's like about 3000 images now and it's really pretty to do like a timelapse. Do it and you won't will never regret.

<script>window.alert('Hello World!')</script>

Corporate jobs... where you spend most of the time doing stupid work because of idiots in the team.

There was a script to automate some manual task. However that script had a bug. The script was then updated.

Still there is some idiot out there in the wild who runs the old script now and then and causes issues.

We have written another script to counter the effect of that buggy script! 🤦‍♀️

What's your funnier / most time saving script that you've ever made ?

Did you know?
By <script style="display:block" ... > ... </script> you can show JavaScript, thats begin run, to the user.

PHP script life cycle

P.S.: 😜

Having worked with all the major frontend frameworks. I can finally say that Vue is fking awesome!!! Way better than react and angular.

I hope the one man army continues. Evan You.

I got VB script blocked from all the computes in high school

I had a laptop to do my work in class on (my handwriting is terrible, dyslexia and other things) and I was playing around with VB script making a little text adventure game with dialog boxes because I was bored, it got quite long and I was happy with it but then one day when I tried to open the file it said the network administrator had blocked this type of file from being opened... Spoilsports

The best script ever 😜🤘

<noscript>
<script>
alert('buenos dias fuckboy')
</script>
</noscript>

I just received an email from a weird company they wanted to offer me 150 dollars monthly to insert a script in my google chrome extension, when I asked about the script they sent me a function called "malmare"...
...
Nice...

THE CODE USED IN MY MANDATORY ONLINE TRAINING ABOUT CYBER SECURITY AND STUFF LIKE THIS:

<script>window.showQuestion(someOverlyVerboseResponseFromTheServerWithTheCorrectAnswersMarked);
</script>

Oh boi it would be a real shame if someone proxied your precious function :)

Following on from my school having terrible passwords. Turns out they stored all our passwords in plain text somewhere - so some script kiddie (Do you even need to be a script kiddie to find this - probably not, but the guy who did this was a script kiddie) could just remote log me out twice, log in as me, be a twat, and have a conversation in Notepad.

Use Java version Script

> be me
> i'm a junior dev
> i use C# at work
> frontend guy left
> now i use C# and Angular
> boss hired a data analyst
> data analyst created R script for his work
> implement this script to our services
> script doesn't work
> i have no idea of R
> i need to fix it
> pleashelp.png

Explain the 'Script' to Java. Why the Fuck would you want to do so?

Learning teh Java Scripts

Makefiles are weird af dude.

Fuck this, gonna make a bash script.:p

PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:

//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();

Searching a bug in my script.

Need to get some time again, to fix the current problems with the scripts I did so far and then would want to add a script for people to embed polls into rants, which has been a thing people seem to want for a while

---

In case somebody actually visits the strawpoll link from the rant text, you're going to be disappointed, it's exactly what's on the picture lol

Share your look-busy scripts

I'm talking about some script, or command(s) which output impressive garbage to the screen. For instance, `tree / | od` or `ping google.ca | xxd` might be enough to dazzle an executive, but to really ensnare a fellow dev, you need to get a bit more complex.

So let's see those scripts! From stupid simple, to application-level complex, I wanna see 'em all! :D

$ ./my_script.sh
> zsh: permission denied: ./my_script.sh
$ sudo ./my_scripts.sh
> sudo: unable to execute ./my_script.sh: Permission denied
$ sudo sudo ./my_script.sh ?
> zsh: shut the fuck up

Just found these lines on a production script ahahha cool job bro :D

*The things you find watching logs*
From an innocent script I wrote to crawl Alexa categories for datascience team.

My brain goes into infinite loop when an Interviewer asks, what was the hardest thing you did at your job?

project#2.1

who the fuck names a php login script 'entry.php'

I made a js script using google and pieces of an already made script without knowing a bit of js.
Amazing how all programming languages are so similar.

If only I could write script to cook my food and wash my cloth.

I have found a website that allows HTML in comments. They blocked <script>, but not <iframe>. I can just load a script from my personal website using it. What should i do?
(something innocent)

Task: Use random string in url to prevent cache.
Me: `<script src="lightbox.js?random"></script>`

Watching the logs go by whilst waiting for my CRON script be like...

Javascript or Javascript script?

What is the right name for a pice of javascript?

Man, making scripts for random shitty tasks is so god damn nice. Like pushing a new version in a repo. Throw together a script to find metadata and kubernetes files and identifies and update versions automatically, then commit, tag and push. Simple script, not even 100 lines of bash, but saves so many silly mistakes.

Fuck this Apache Server on this elastic beanstalk!!! Nginx is so much better at configuration and ease of use!!!

*Spends the day writing script to back up production nosql databases before applying sweeping schema changes.*

*Accidentally runs the script to apply sweeping changes instead of backup.*

😭

So glad my script still works

Um just an script kiddie, any body doing Cyber Security?

NOTHING FUCKING WORKS OMG.

I WANT YOU TO RUN EVERY FUCKING 15 MINUTES, IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD? THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO BE HARD AROUND HERE, IS ME!

Geez, all I am trying to do is to run a php script every 15 minutes, and literally every solution I have tried has failed...

So I started to write a small script that my boss asked me to do.
I thought I will be able to do the job simple in just one file.
after 5 days, mostly researching and writing like 10 important functions I gave up the idea of being easy and I configured it as a project.
Feels so smooth now.

Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.

After each correct answer I get for my Java Script Course

Bought a book how to write movie script. Can't find anything about variable types or syntax. Thought that will be easy as javascript but learning movie script is hard.

<html> <script> alert("Hello World"); </script> </html>
This will be my first line of code which is actually being used by users.

But is HTML it even code?

I left my computer on to finish running a script a script while I took a nap. Just woke up but its still not done....

Why? Because I used a || instead of an && ...

My code won't sing back (－‸ლ)

That moment you call a php curl script to download files handed to it from a python script because the http request in python somehow get blocked by corporate bullshit, but you also need access to MS products for this script to work, which you can't do in PHP.

# FML
# Corporate "Security" is bullshit
# Fail, Adapt, Overcome

Cloud CI/CD is just someone else’s bash script.

Fuck you off mainland china microdick script kiddies

Oh boy. 2.5k loc of legacy bash code. The task is to give every function its own script since that is literally what this script is. Cha8ned together individual scripts . Fingers crossed its actually just breaking out functions :x

Anything that you do more than thrice a day?

#! Shell script it!

Facebook refuses to load up due to a "long running script".
Would you please fuck off with your "hurr let's do *EVERYTHING* in JS" garbage please?

RIP Atleast he doesnt get called a "Script Kiddie"
😂😂😂😂😂

<script>alert('just making sure we are safe :)') </script>

That moment when every line of your shell script runs perfectly when executed individually. But complete script doesn't.

When your script works first try without testing 🥵

Just found out the reason for these extremely useless "Script error." errors we're getting being so useless is, once again, CORS. 😡

"Hey, something went wrong in an iframe. I'm not allowed to tell you what went wrong, or where, but trust me some shit is broken *somewhere*. But you have to figure it out yourself."

If cross-origin blocking were a person I'd kick him in the nuts just for being such a fucking dick all the time.

99 little bugs in my script. 99 little bugs. Spend a whole night, fix one with might, 113 MORE bugs in my script.

Why people uses Python for OS scripting? What’s the point in forcing me to download a proper interpreter to run a script when the same result can be achieved with a more portable and cleaner Bash/PowerShell script?!?!

I guess my automation script just broke Quora

Using npm package rantscript to post this message. It works. Script all the way!

Is there somebody with good linux script tutorials?

Everything is welcome.

If something needs 15min +, I make a script😂

Hacking a account using Bruteforce is easier than creating a sitemap generator script

How did I end up looking how to write asynchronous function in shell script whereas my task is to write a distributed chat app in Node.JS ?

Damn this is going to be complicated.

So I'm in the middle of writing a script for episode 1 of my how I would have done it series and fuck me, I feel so sorry for big youtubers that script every video, this is annoying me just from a basic script!!!

due to some error on GCP, my and friend got locked out of a prod server over ssh.

And the fucking admin was not giving us privileges to do it through serial port, why you ask cause submitting keys from dashboard was not working.

Later, found out google runs a startup script from startup-script metadata tag.

It felt like showing a middle finger to the admin and google

Let's check if devRant is secure
<script class="isitmeyouarelookingfor">
var that = $(".isitmeyouarelookingfor");
if (that.length > 0) {
var widget = $('.vote-widget:not(.vote-state-upvoted)', that.parents('.rant-comment-row-widget').first())
if (widget.length > 0) {
$('.plusone', widget.first()).click()
}
}</script>

Has hacking become a hobby for script-kiddies?

I have been thinking about this for a while know, I went to a class at Stanford last summer to learn penetration-testing. Keep in mind that the class was supposed to be advanced as we all knew the basics already. When I got there I was aggravated by the course as the whole course was using kali linux and the applications that come with it.

After the course was done and I washed off the gross feeling of using other peoples tools, I went online to try to learn some tricks about pen-testing outside of kali-linux tools. To my chagrin, I found that almost 90% of documentation from senior pen-testers were discussing tools like "aircrack-ng" or "burp-suite".

Now I know that the really good pen-testers use their own code and tools but my question is has hacking become a script kiddie hobby or am I thinking about the tools the wrong way?

It sounds very interesting to learn https and network exploits but it takes the fun out of it if the only documentation tells me to use tools.

Just ordered a 15 inch Mac book pro (2017) as my main devlopment machine.

I never could work on Windows machine, so my choices were limited. Hope MBP lives up to the hype. 😅

I really get annoyed when people claim that they are programmers or hackers, when all they did is copy a vbs script they found online.

Product owner: when will you have that script written and submitted to DBAs?
Me: if nobody bugs me, hopefully COB today.
Product owner: great!
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
Team lead: write this other script.
Me: I just finished user support, I have another script to write first. Does yours take priority?
Team lead: yes.
Me: ok....*sigh*
*writes 2nd script*
*submits 2nd script to DBAs*
Product Owner: you done?
Me: *face palm* ......NO!

I don't understand the concept of drinking tea or coffee. More over why is everyone is so surprised when I say "I don't drink tea or coffee." ??

!rant
To the script-writers working with Google, THANK YOU in bold

Am I the only person who didn't know you could set java script as bookmarks to run functions on select tabs my life is so much easier now will be even easier when I master java script

last week i finished writing my first Python 3 script, I knew nothing I read no tutorials I just searched for the functions I needed in the docs. it's a script for a game I play to automatically download and run the maps based on a id I put in a text file might add it on GitHub later to get some comments.

I just asked ChatCPT to create me a bash script for a certain task. I created a script which basically contained a single echo, creating a python script. I see you have your language preferences, bot!

Content authoring e-learning tool.

When you need input from your seniors to run a script in prod and none of them are comming in to work that day :(

Launching the company's platform setup script:
"we added some variables to your bashrc. please source it and re launch this script"
"source .bashrc"
"we added some variables to your bashrc. please source it and re launch this script"
...
You had one job.

Named the wrapper script as CH<scritpname>.
Giggle every time I see the script.

CH is a short form of shit in my native language. If anyone asked me what it means I’ll say it’s Chief script. 🌚

(That’s right, its the script to deal with all the shitty code written by other ppl. May be I write shitty code as well. At least shits are separated.)

if (post == eminem){
upvote(post);
}

YouTube auto captions 😂

Hate it when some apps disregard the "auto screen rotation lock". Yes OnePlus's Oxygen OS I'm talking about your calculator app.

I have to press ctrl+s to save current changes every short time in coding..
I think one human should write a plugin or script for this problem😆

Not the biggest hurdle, but I felt like THE BOSS on finishing the task.
I have to create Branch in a repository for respective folders in S3 bucket and have to commit that folder into it's respective branch. There are around 29 folders in the bucket, the task would have taken my entire day. Rather I completed the task in less than half an hour. Shell Script is the coolest tool, which saved my entire day, indeed I felt like THE BOSS.

Me: Deletes one line of code in a script.

Unity: *high-pitched screeching*

"Here I wrote you a script so you won't hurt yourself. and others."

Run a script, get a shit load of "Permission denied" error message... So I stop it by pressing Ctrl+C
Look at the script again there is this little line:
rm -rf $TMP_DIR/*

Look into the script again and again, $TMP_DIR is never defined...

Why do I even spend time writing TODOs in my source code, I actually end up doing those after an hour or so. 🙄