Client: the platform isn't sending emails

Dev: I'll look into it

(Finds all emails are being sent without issue)

Client: I just tested and I'm not receiving emails. This is obviously a site wide bug and I'm upping the priority to "Critical". I'm also getting everyone over here involved.

(Looks into clients account)

Dev: you didn't turn the setting on to allow emails to be sent to you.

Client: this is still a site wide bug that is affecting everyone.

(Provides screenshots showing emails are being sent and opened. Client closes ticket and doesn't respond anymore)

Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.

I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(

We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.

Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.

Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.

This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.

After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.

In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.

Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.

After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.

Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.

I've always tried to live by the philosophy that you should never burn bridges, but my god some recruiters make it very difficult. I've had a handful of occasions where I've had to type out a nasty email to a recruiter and then just not send it after I realized I wouldn't want it getting around/you never know who they known.

The latest incident where I did this was with a recruiter who emailed me 3 times within a week. But my issue wasn't with the amount of emails or even the fact that he was shopping me frontend positions despite my resume clearly stating I'm a backend dev/data engineer.

My issue was... THE GUY FUCKING REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS "BATMAN". That's right - an adult human being so desperate to get the attention of developers that he set his email name to "Batman", signs his emails "Full name - A.K.A. Batman", and lists his phone number like "BatPhone: xxx.xxx.xxxx"

If I didn't find him so pretentious and he actually sent me a kind of relevant position, what would I do? Pick up the phone and call him and say "hey Batman." Jesus fucking Christ. What an absurd gimmick. Maybe I'm overreacting but it seems so childish.

And you know what, if the guy read my resume and sent me relevant stuff I probably would have said "meh, he's doing good work, if he wants to stand out/be silly whatever." But no, he didn't even look at my skills. Instead he thought 3 shitty emails where he called himself Batman would convince me to write back to him.

I was close to sending him a ridiculous response and signing it "Robin", but decided it wasn't worth it.

isRant = true

Working in a team with no Business Analyst assigned, moment when you realize that you spend at-least 3 hours every week sending old emails as a proof to business users that what we have developed is exactly what they fuckin' asked for in the first place

Dear Steam,

Is it possible to send ONE FUCKING E-MAIL for the "items on my wish list that are on sale", instead of sending 4738258382 EMAILS FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE LIKE COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS?!?!

Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:

practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team

It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...

<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>

Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.

So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:

- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole

So lets look at some example of their work:

- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"

- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"

- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"

- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.

- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"

Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them

Thats all the time we have for today,

Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:

- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead

See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex

Watch 3 videos about iOS/Swift on YouTube, and now I'm getting a frontpage full of recordings of app development events and iPhone reviews.

Listen to one kpop track on Spotify out of curiosity, and now the recommendation playlist is polluted with music I really don't like.

If we are going to hand our balls to AI and expect it to be a glorious fondling fest, don't cry if it suddenly realizes "nuts? aren't those supposed to be cracked?".

I mean what's fucking next? Where will this "smart" shit end up?

I accidentally click on a my little pony meme, and amazon will drone-strike me with 500 gallons of glitter? I drunkenly mumble "OK google how do kangaroos fuck" in the back of a self-driving Uber, I'm going to be dropped off in a shady alley and raped by a dozen walibis?

STOP FUCKING TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME, INTERNET. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING USE YOU, NOT BE USED BY YOU, THIS WASN'T THE DEAL.

If you truly understood me, internet, I would probably not even give a fuck about privacy. But you are all building these profiles wrong.

You don't understand that I might be interested in juggling tricks today, tomorrow it might be all about crocheting a wool sweater for my penis, and the day after that I'm curious how many corpses it would take to fill up an olympic swimming pool.

NO I'M NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THAT QUORA, STOP SENDING ME RECOMMENDATION EMAILS ON HIDING MURDER VICTIMS, MY BOSS WILL THINK I'M WEIRD.

Yeah of course I could pulls some plugs, anonymize the shit out of my online life. I respect those who manage to just say "Fuck you Google, I'm sick of your shit, I'm going cold turkey".

But these platforms are feeding us heroin-laced candy.

All your coworkers friends and family with their oled-lit zombiefaces, staring at tiny screens, all absent-mindedly grasping your ankles whispering "aww take one more hit with us, check out this funny youtube clip, let me send it to you on whatsapp.... what you don't have whatsapp? You deleted your facebook? don't you love grandma anymore? Why do you hate your family?"

Before you know it, you watched ten episodes about cultivating cactuses, have a year subscription to brilliant, skillshare, squarespace and 3 different organic foodboxes are delivered to your door, Netflix is spamming you about a cupcake baking show, and you're thinking about same-day delivery for a baseball bat so you can just beat the crap out of every pretty glass display you see.

I want to break up with you, Internet.

I love you, but I hate you.

Since you passed 2.0, you have grown into a manipulative bitch.

I just don't know if I'm strong enough. It's all "let's just be friends" with you, but I know you'll be trying to reel me back in.

Before I know it, you're feeding me cookies once again, and I'll end up balls deep with your trackers stuck to my dick.

Job interview goes really well. Senior Dev 90-100k.

Ok, so for your "test" write up a proposal for a web based bulk email sending system with its own admin panel for building list, tracking emails, and with reporting.

I write up an estimate. Low ball the absolute fuck out of it because I'm trying to get a job. Know a few good libraries I can use to save some time. Figure I can just use sendmail, or PHPMailer, or NodeMailer for the emailing, and DataTables Editor for a simple admin CRUD with reporting. Write the thing up. Tell them they can have it in LAMP or Node.

Come in at 36 hours.

Then these fucking wanks told me they wanted me to actually do the project.

My exact response was:

"I bill $50 an hour, let me know"

They did not let me know.

Young devs, jobless devs, desperate devs. I've seen a fair amount of this. And for the right job I might go as high as maybe 4 - 6 hours of unpaid work for some "programming test". But please be careful. There are those who will try to exploit lack of experience or desperation for free work.

Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand

This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:

- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.

- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.

- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.

- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?

- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.

- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.

*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.

and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.

- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.

... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.

Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.

And remember to always practiseSafeHex

We're having an ongoing credential stuffing attack right now. Hackers hit us hard over the weekend and the web team sent out an email congratulating themselves that they stopped the threat.

I decided to look to see how they "fixed" the issue.

They modified their code to stop logging the errors to prevent Splunk from sending the automated emails to management (how we have been able to spot/monitor the attack).

They literally just put their heads in the sand, stapled a sign to their ass that reads "Meteor? We see no meteor approaching. Everything is fine."

When I was 10 years old, all kids at my school got access to school emails. The email address book contained everything in my city, like fire department, all pupils of all schools etc. So I decided to "test" the system by sending out a mass email to everyone in the address book (about 3k) with the question "Hi, how are you?".

The sys admins apparently didn't think very far as I got some responses saying like "You have crashed a server in the capital city" and "I have contacted your local IT admin".

So I went to the IT admin and told him the situation. His face turned red of anger and I remember him almost screaming at me.

Who the fuck doesn't set up protection for this and gives out access to 10 year olds? This was 15 years ago, I really hope sys admins are smarter today!

FUCK GOOGLE.

FUCK THE GOOGLE PLAY REVIEW TEAM.

FUCK THEIR BOT GENERATED EMAILS.

FUCK THEIR DEVELOPER SUPPORT.

I am trying to launch a fucking action game. There will be fucking guns and muzzle flashes shown in the screenshots. Stop fucking rejecting the app. There is no blood in the icon or screenshots. Stop sending me bot generated emails and tell me what content is being flagged.

A little information on the whole scenario: My game was rejected so immediately I contacted the support as to what was the issue. The guy told me 2 screenshots were flagged because they had the muzzle flashes and damage indicator (call of duty type which tells the direction from where the bullets are coming from). So I removed the screenshots and still the game was rejected. FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. SAME GOES FOR APPLE.

Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).

Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).

Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.

Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”

FRACK!

Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”

Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.

The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.

This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.

FRACKing female dog!

Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.

Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).

People and their petty office politics piss me off.

why is it so hard to convince people to start using slack chat and giving up sending internal emails?

I really dont get it when people cry over "when sending password in emails".

Had a customer today that wants us to send credentials on WhatsApp instead because it is "secure" instead of email, because email is insecure... .

Forget about Internet explorer compatibility, EMAIL TEMPLATES are the actual worst. Outlook uses the same html rendering engine as MS WORD. It's sooo painful. All the bad practices you had to do 15 years ago, you have to do when you write email templates.

YOU WILL NOT KNOW PAIN until you have to make an email template, that works in Gmail, Yahoo Mail, OUTLOOK, outlook.com, outlook for mac, MOBILE, Android, the gmail app, IOS, apple mail, and so on. And after you make an unholy abomination of table garbage, then having to make it responsive/mobile friendly after all that!

If something is broken in one client, fixing it will break something in a different client! And then having to take a stab in the dark to try to fix it and then sending yet another test email (which costs $ per test)

I must have slashed decades off my life having to build email templates. It really is horrendous. There are frameworks like Zurb for email that at least let you feel like you're using a modern workflow. But things break just as often.

Honestly if you have the option, use a wysiwyg editor for building emails. At least when it does break (and they all will) you can at least blame the software.

Which is better than spending 4 hours on why that table cell doesn't line up correctly in outlook.

FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM

AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS

I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME

LIKE:

"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"

"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"

"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"

I DON'T FUCKING CARE !

I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.

IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT

I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)

AND GUESS WHAT

THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL

CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!

FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT

STOP SENDING IT TO ME

The company I work for have this obsession of sending phishing emails to employees. If you report the email you get a message saying good job. If you fail, and you open it you have to have a meeting with your boss and stuff. They do this multible times a week.

So now we have this situation where a lot of important emails get deleted as collateral damage, as the employees are parnoid of opening them. Fantastic system with no flaws at all.🤔🤔

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.

CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?

*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*

All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.

*After an hour*

So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.

Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.

*an other hour passes*

Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬

Me: me 😰

*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.

Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.

(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.

*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*

Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )

Head: okay do it now.

Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.

* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂

Client:
"Ok,. so your saying that its gonna take you 63 hrs to create a simplified CRM with basic functionality and auto fill docs or automated work flow docs as an added feature?"

My response (after already under-quoting and planning on cutting some corners because he has a smaller budget than normally necessary):
"It sounds simpler than it is. There are a lot of things I need to take into account that you wouldn't even think about.

For instance:

Making sure your emails don't go to the client's spam folder. This requires the sending domain to be verified via DNS settings. I have to ensure your email content passes a spam test (link to text ratio needs to be good). I assumed you'd want an email that has your logo and looks good. This means testing the design in Outlook to make sure it's not broken.

What if the email doesn't send due to an invalid email address, or bounces back? You'll need to be notified.

What if the client list for the week contains duplicates? You need them merged or ignored.

Generating a PDF from HTML can be tricky because the conversion isn't apples to apples so there are things I need to adjust to make them as close as possible.

Making a site completely mobile friendly (the tier 3 option) can be very time consuming as well. It's not about whether or not it fits on a mobile phone, it's about whether or not it's intuitive and useful. You're essentially getting a mobile app without paying for separate development of an app.

If I took everything into consideration and built this to be 100% bullet proof, it would cost tens of thousands.

I'm doing my best to leverage your needs with the probability of running into an issue. I'm not going waste my time/your money on something that will likely never happen."

A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:

Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.

Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.

Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.

Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director

Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.

Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)

Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.

Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.

Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.

Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.

Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.

Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)

Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.

Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.

They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.

My family and friends think, that I'm sending spam emails.
Which is kinda true.

You fucking cunts, just because I bought something from your shop via online that doesn't mean you can send me an email every other day about your products.

Stop sending me useless emails. Fuck you to all the websites/companies that do it. I wish I could print these emails and shove them up in your fucking ugly buttholes. AHHH I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY!

So I've been using this website that loads terribly and after sending the dev some emails on how he should reduce the amount of page requests to reduce the load time, I got this response. Anyone with moodle experience care to explain why one should have 200+ css requests before a page loads?

I am driven nearly to blind rage by people who insist on sending you issues as emails and just keep piling more emails on the same thread. For the love of everything decent learn to use a mother FUCKING ticket system.

Wow! They are incredible!

I keep creating new email filters every week or so, and they keep finding new ways to send me spam!

The best part is - these emails are sent from our internal infra. Judging by the sender it looks like they have created a bot collecting various events and sending them to... everyone.

Much smart. Many useful.
Much working

THE FUCK!!!!

Some stupid assholes on my company have adquired the idiotic habit to call me to supervise some videoconferences using Skype, Hangouts or other fucking systems that i never heard about. I hate it because is a big fat waste of time.You don't need a engineer to handle your stupid password mismatch, your "why this is so slow? can you fix the internet". Or why the sound is so crappy or why don't you have a better microphone. This are your fucking computers, and your fucking calls. what the next? sending your emails? Wipe your asses? is not my fucking role.

Next time I will put your notebooks inside your assholes. Your crap will be better transmitted for sure.

Why bitches always gotta be sending emails with high importance.

Has anyone who's running a start-up had to deal with email happy clients?

I just watched a thread of 14 emails be generated for sending a maintenance contract which was already agreed upon.

Most of the emails are "thanks for the reply........."
To which some one will reply " thanks for the reply.........

This person has been sending emails like this. What's your favorite way to deal with this stuff?

I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...

BRUV,
WTF,
SO I JUST FOUND OUT THIS:
Hostinger changed its mailservers from mx1.hostinger.com, to IMAP.hostinger.com and SMTP.HOSTINGER.COM

This means that all of the emails that I sent out for the last 2 weeks on my phone(the only place where I send out emails) has been going to fadoodle knows where?

Now that I changed on my phone the incoming and sending servers and I send out a email it appears as spam, but It dosent do that when I send it out of the web platform.

So like bruv, more digging to do...

HOSTINGER U BICH ASS FUCKING CUNTS, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EMAILS I NEEDED TO FORWARD BCZ OF THIS???😂

And I though people were Beeing rude or something

Project managers who distribute a task instruction like "add button on page x" into 20 ticket comments (each minimum 1000 chars), 1 pdf from the client, 2 unrelated tl;dr confluence pages, 3 lengthy bullshit management emails (at least 5 people in cc) and end up sending chat messages every hour...

Anyone reading these emails we are sending?

I work at a small place. A few users are using an application at our place that I develop and maintain. We all work remotely.

I announce by email to these few users a new version release of said application because of low level changes in the database, send the timeline for the upgrade, I include the new executable, with an easy illustrated 2 minutes *howto* to update painlessly.

Yet, past the date of the upgrade, 100% of the application users emailed me because they were not able to use the software anymore.

----------------

Or I have this issue where we identified a vulnerability in our systems - and I send out an email asking (as soon as possible) for which client version users are using to access the database, so that I patch everything swiftly right. Else everything may crash. Like a clean summary, 2 lines. Easy. A 30 second thing.

A week pass, no answer, I send again.

Then a second week pass, one user answers, saying:

> well I am busy, I will have time to check this out in February.

----------------

Then I am asking myself:
* Why sending email at all in the first place?

* Who wrote these 'best practices textbooks about warning users on schedule/expected downtime?'

*How about I just patch and release first and then expect the emails from the users *after* because 'something is broken', right? Whatever I do, they don't read it.

Oh and before anyone suggest that I should talk to my boss about this behavior from the users, my boss is included in the aforementioned 'users'.

Catch-22 much ? Haha thanks for reading

/rant

My favorite office prank is sending *VERY URGENT* emails to devs with ominous feature requests camouflaged as *FIX BUG ASAP* and then don't reply to followup questions for three weeks.

Works every time.

I hate sending emails and waiting for reply.

"Our system has detected that this message is[nl]421-4.7.0 suspicious due to the very low reputation of the sending IP address"

Oh shit..

Note to self: Don't test on production servers. Gmail has now blocked my ass.

So some asshole keeps sending phishing emails to every student and prof in our university and the IT department is too pathetic to block it. They all come from the same email and contain the same text yet they cant filter it and just send warnings not to click it.

Im getting sick of recieving 5 of these a day, i scanned and viewed the page and its just a simple form copying the outlook login page with a redirect to the actual page after submission.

Whats the easiest way to write a script that will spam them with thousands of fake accounts? How can i fuck with these guys?

me to dba: do you have any recommendations of sql or query improvements? dba: no, just let us know once you're done.

after sending them explain plans, new queries and asking for reviews with no response from them, i applied the changes in dev.

after applying changes.

dba: you should involve us in any development. we need to collaborate.

me: please check your emails over the past 3 weeks.

wtactualfuck.

The most annoying hack I've had to deal with was back when I did IT support, actually. Level 1 call center tech at the time. Apparently someone fell for a phishing email and gave out his outlook credentials. The phisher used that email account to send out another phishing email to roughly 1800 employees.

Security Operations noticed, because this guy's job didn't generally involve sending out mass-communication emails. They investigated, figured out what had happened, and opted for the nuclear option: they reset the password for EVERY SINGLE ACCOUNT that received the email. All 1800 of them. Over the weekend.

I walked into the call center Monday morning and checked the call stats, then did a double-take. There were over 300 people waiting in the queue. I almost left and called in sick. Turns out it wasn't that bad though. Annoying to reset so many passwords and having no downtime due to the full queue, but on the other hand my stats were better that day than any other, since every call was a 5-minute password reset.

I tried to unsubscribe from an email list and it says “Please allow 10 business days for us to process unsubscribe requests to be processed.” WHY TF do you need 10 BUSINESS DAYS?? I UNSUBSCRIBED 3 DAYS AGO AND YOU’RE STILL SENDING ME YOUR DAMN EMAILS.

I've finally found a goldmine of accurate job listings that don't include Windows shit-administration... So I'm thinking of sending out applications to all of them. Problem is, as you might recall from my previous rants, I had a flash drive with my GPG keypair on it stolen from me. I still haven't fully replaced the key (I made another one and published it but I'm not using it yet), and because I'm fairly confident that this flash drive's data has never been used (so likely just plugged into Windows and formatted), it's unlikely that I'm gonna bother rotating all of the contents that were on that flash drive.

That said however, my emails now all have signatures underneath them as follows:
Met vriendelijke groet / Best regards,
[my name]

- My outbound email is usually signed with my private key. If not, please don't hesitate to ask me about it through a different communication platform.

IMPORTANT: My keys have possibly been compromised. An encrypted flash drive on which this GPG keypair was stored has been stolen from me. I'm in the process of phasing out and replacing this key. Please do not use it to encrypt any emails to me anymore.

Not entirely sure whether I should remove or keep that last bit. As a potential employer, would you see this as a red flag (he's got encrypted data stolen from him, wtf that's incompetent), or as a nice thing to know that it was properly disclosed (so no secrecy around potential data breaches)? Both seem equally likely so I'm a bit confused about what I should do.

Sending automatic spinned content email to a client asking him for payement... Starting at 60mn and decreasing interval by 1 minute each step ! He pays when interval become 7 minutes and phone me to say: "Hi ! How are you ?" ... mmmm' well well well... Calculate the number of emails he receive !

***ILLEGAL***
so its IPL(cricket) season in india, there is a OTT service called hotstar (its like netflix of india), the cricket streams exclusively on hotstar..
so a quick google search reveals literally thousands of emails & passwords, found a pastebin containing 500 emails&passwords ...but those are leaked last year most of passwords are changed & many of them enabled 2FA.. after looking through them we can find some passwords are similar to their emails , some contains birth year like 1975,1997 etc, some passwords end with 123 ..so after trying a few different versions of the passwords like
1) password123 -> password@123, password1234
2) passwordyear -> password@year
2) for passwords similar to emails, we can add 123 ,1234, @ etc
created a quick python script for sending login requests

so after like 30-40 mins of work, i have 7 working accounts

*for those who have basic idea of security practices you can skip this part

lessons learnt
1) enable 2FA
2) use strong passwords, if you change your password , new password should be very different from the old one

there are several thousands of leaked plaintext passwords for services like netflix,spotify, hulu etc, are easily available using simple google search,
after looking through & analysing thousands of them you can find many common passwords , common patterns
they may not be as obvious as password ,password123 but they are easily guessable.
mainly this is because these type of entertainment services are used by the average joe, they dont care about strong passwords, 2FA etc

I was helping a teammate investigate an issue he is working on, while having a lot of stuff to do for myself, until I notice that the asshole was very busy sending personal emails and basically I was doing his job...

If I could I just wouldn't support email in any way shape anymore.

It's just too much hassle with all the spam filters and people just don't understand how email works.

Nobody fucking reads it anyway.... but everyone wants like a bazillion variations on stupid emails that go out that nobody will read.

They don't get that email is often instant ... but is actually async.

They don't understand that just because they got an email sent to their own distribution list ... and someone took them off the list... that doesn't mean that WE an outside group emailing that list stopped sending them messages.

Nobody actually looks at their spam filters until I tell them to do it for the 3rd time. And as if by magic folks at the same company don't 'have spam filter problems all the time'.

I had a company 'security' filter that straight up followed all the links in an email (that's fine ... we're good, I get that).... and then their stupid bot or whatever would actually click options on a form and fucking submit the fucking form!!!!!

I mean I get that maybe some sites have folks submit some shit and then deliver malware but that's gonna have consequences submitting shit none the less because I don't know it's just your fucking bot...

So they'd get various offers from our customers and bitch when they went to find it was already gone.

It was around for a while but I didn’t realize it was it for a long time. I was fixing computers for cash and spending in on booze while in primary school. Making websites for cash and for fun while in high school. Some guys wanted to buy my databases at the time and sending me emails that my websites rocks. I didn’t cared cause I party a lot and I didn’t need money.
Sex drugs and rock and roll was my life not a fucking computer.
Since I never had problems with math I passed exams and got myself to university and dropped out cause of those 3 funny things above. Turned out to pass exams after second year when math and physics disappeared you need to study more then 1 day before exam and party was more important for me.

I failed tremendously. My girlfriend left me I was out of money I got back to my hometown with my laptop and I somehow between depression, drugs, alcohol and killing myself reminded I was getting money from websites and I can try to follow that movie.

At that time I didn’t read single book in english in my life. I know some basic english so I decided to try to read some actionscript2 pdf. Why actionscript ? I liked those simple games. Those were fun and there was nothing better. I was reading first book at least 10 times with vocabulary that took about a month until I remembered whole book and second book was faster like 1 week third was 1 day and from then thing moved a little faster. I discovered flex just before adobe acquired macromedia and started writing in it. Started answering to some questions on forum and build some portfolio website with fancy 3d animations and stuff and finally applied for 2 jobs.
They both were amazed by my website and one of them sent me some task to do and I did it overnight and sent them back. They wanted to hire me and I need to respond to them.
Second job they invited me for talking and asking about math, if I’m ok with 3d and stuff and they offered me job closer to my home town so I picked them. The code was amazing, 3d equations, quaternions, complicated stuff bit very well written by some company that dropped project before launch and my first task was add some small feature.
I remember first day in elevator with my former boss who told me to not to get scary and take it slowly I was trying to do my task as fast as I can worried I will be fired if I don’t do it and nobody else will hire me and I won’t manage to recover from second failure. It was even more fighting with myself that I will fail again then with this task lol.
I’ve done the feature third day and when they said it’s cool and I can commit my changes it appeared to me that It might be this shit that will get me out of trouble.
I was never again wrong about programming and so wrong about trouble but that’s a different story...

Why!!!
Why must some devs make life complicated!!!!!!

So, here I am enjoying my day (well enjoying the meetings that are taking me away from working) when I get a bug report that script X isn't sending out emails anymore.

Ok that's weird, this as far as I know uses the same email class as every other email being sent out from this project, and they all work.

Let's go have a quick dig...

function sendEmail(){
/*do a bunch of stuff*/
}
Is being used, well that's odd, it should be $emailService->send()
But what ever, it's probably an old wrapper for legacy sake since this script was written years ago. But nope, I almost cried, it's a wrapper for mail() isolated into this script.

Like for fucks sake, why in the hell would this be used when there's an entire fucking class that's tried and tested and only looses 1 email every few months, coz shit happens.

Errrrr.... sometimes i really wonder why people can't just do what they need to do the first time round.

Spending the day sending emails back and forth with your client because they can't be bothered to prepare a single overview of what properties the endpoint expects, and instead expect you to piece it together from 6 PDFs of which at least 2 contain contradicting information, another is outdated, and the last one seems to have been exported from word and is missing half the content.

Fun times!

> Sign up to website
> They start sending promotional emails and stuff
> Don't mind them at first, but slowly and steadily it grows
> More promotional emails make phone ping unnecessarily
> Get frustrated and hit "Unsubscribe" from the mailing list
> 10 minutes passes
> Phone pings and gets picked up to check
> Same company sends an email saying "You've been unsubscribed. You won't receive any more emails from us."

WHAT BULLSHIT PRACTICE IS THIS???

We just had the introduction lesson about Emails. I think our teacher had fun sending fake mails from his computer over the server under our name.

Client requested password change for their info@ email.

Changed the password.

Client said website is not sending emails

Turned out that website is using SMTP to send email using the same email address.

Working with a vendor's api. Every call is coming back error. Emails back and forth for two weeks, sending logs, changing settings, encoding urls...

From them: oh, this field needs to be unique.

Me: how are you just now catching that?!

The doc showed it to be a specific value. We must be their first client or something.

I installed sendgrid on my server today for the first time. Now I have several questions to you more experienced programmers.

1. Is there anything I should know about using sendgrid for server generated mails?

2. Can I still use my own configured Mail-Server (eg. for sending emails with Thunderbird?

3. How does sendgrid work?

4. Are there probably better alternatives? (I first wanted to use mailgun, but those fuckers want me to have a credit card for registration)

bruuuuuuuuuh I got an email asking for tech LatinX people to join for a talk on our problems facing x shit in tech.

As a Mexican American (I am more American than Mexican, but whatever) and your standard gun tootin Texan: fuck you, do not call me LatinX

I know both English and Spanish (and other languages that won't disclose here because fk u) well and believe that adding such buuuuuuuullshit to my beautiful Spanish is utter nonsense.

I sent it to the network admin and ask him to block them fuckers from ever sending emails my way ever again as spam.

LatinX....what a fucking joke

There was a time i disliked middle managers (because i thought they were useless and just making bank for sending emails and doing meetings) but then a couple of them took sick leave for a few days and then i realized how important they were. When they came back, i was almost crying with joy 🤣

I signed up for a trial of some time tracking software. Apparently the company that owns it is incredibly aggressive with their sales department. They sent me 10 emails within the first week (still sending even though I unsubscribed) and have started calling me every day. What have I gotten myself into.

Microsoft are apparently sending their "retrieve password" emails in Chinese.

Okay, where do I even fucking start.

Today, my account been hacked by some prick because i wouldn't send him fucking nudes. I quickly emailed discord and they keep sending me automated emails. I got so fucking pissed and then they emailed me "how did they get your info?" BITCH HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING KNOW? THATS WHY ITS CALLED HACKING IDIOT!

I sent them 5 fucking emails, no response.

Discord Support- Actually, DISCORD IN GENERAL IS A FUCKING HORRIBLE APP!

Message from discord: I am isabe*******@Gmail.com. I'm fucking pissed how your damn support team won't fucking just give my goddamn Discord account back. KEEP IN MIND I HAD A YEAR OF NITRO, A YEAR AND DISCORD CLEARLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT! YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING UNFAIR! LITERALLY YOU GUYS DON'T SOLVE ANY DAMN SITUATIONS WITHOUT IT TAKING MONTHS, OR YOU JUST DONT FUCKING REPLY!

So I had this Google account for all of clients social, hosting, etc.
Out of the blue client wants access to these accounts.
Unfortunately I had not logged into these accounts in a long time.
Now when I try to login Google is not sending 2f texts to my registered number, even the give code over call option is not working, my number is recieving texts and calls, so it's not a network issue.
To top it all off due to numerous attempts it won't let me try other options and my recovery email recieved security alert of the said attempts with no option of actually specifying it was a legitimate attempt.
Fuck this overly protective attempt at security and fuck the guy who thought it was a good idea to send emails about attempts but not including any option to actually do something about it.

*Email chain forwarded by support team to our dev team*
Hi,
Please assist our customer. He is unable to reset his password!

*Went through the emails turned out that customer is asking for password reset request for legacy website for which we don't work at all*

Scrum master sending another reply to look into the matter on High priority.

We again double checked for the customer but he is not registered on the new website.

Apparently, both scrum master and support team and entire company is aware that our team is not working for legacy website.
But No one reads the email properly and keep forwarding to dev team disturbing the entire team.

Some times things like this are done by product manager and her associate, but they keep replying to each other on unnecessary things till they come to conclusion and scrum master try hard to keep up with them with his own agile disciplines.

So work this morning has been fun, we got an email from some about a change in their company and they CCd about 360 people in so you could see the emails (GDPR and all that) and then a help desk on one of the recipients picked it up, sent out an auto response to everyone, then another auto response from someone else went out and you can see where it went from there... About 100 emails later they sent out an email asking people to not reply to the previous email and are working with the companies to get the auto responders turned off

Life lesson today: check your emails before sending them!

Client:' I think that one email account is sending some spam emails. Can you make some checks?'
Server:'Queued emails:730511...please kill me'

Finally looked at the client who overbuilt his WordPress site that I'd gladly build him a new dedicated custom site for $150k and 12 months.

Even if he says he'll take the offer I have no intention of helping this person. Every time I say edits will be done in two days, he spends the next two days sending me emails with more edits to do on top. Today alone I received 78 emails from the client, 46 from the PM which were forwards of other edits. The entire project was handled wrong from the start and no one has the balls to tell him he needs a better solution than WordPress or what our agency can provide. We have a few hundred clients, he's lucky to get one week turn around time on anything more than copy changes. He wants form functionality changes weekly because he's always got a new idea, the current form has over 30 fields for users to fill out, all required, and he's always asking for more.

Why do these e-marketing companies always have some kind of manager/consultant/strategist/marketeer/whatever to handle emails between me and their devs. Instead of emailing with another technical person and quickly fixing the problem I end up sending one billion emails to someone who has no clue on what needs to be done to fix te problem. From now on my emails contains a part called "to your developer:" explaining the technical part of the email.

And no - I don't want to plan a conference call... just let me code dammit!

Debugging a task, that's sending emails to too many customers.
Supervisor: "Never mind, just test in production, there is a dry run flag for the tasks."
Just in case I test locally...
Flags tried:
--dryrun="TRUE" => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun=TRUE => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun="true" => Not trying to send mail.

If it's THIS PICKY a little more documentation would be nice.
And by a little more I mean: more than the task base class in a giant php monstrosity without phpdocs expecting its code to be self-documenting.

Learning information security yet again after doing multiple information security things for company and manager is pushing to do it saying "due immediately" and they're after sending "a number of emails" (it's due in a month and they sent 1 email).
Annoying that these things must be done again and again just because someone in sales let something slip or left their journal behind like a dumb dumb. It's not like I'm never off-site with my stuff or I interact with customer(s) yet

I have a huge axe to grind about companies sending me emails I have not consented to. Sometimes they have a checkbox for it, which I always, ALWAYS make sure I do not check. Sometimes they just add you automatically as soon as you enter your email adress.
Sometimes the 'Unsubscribe' link leads to a dead page, or just doesn't work.
And sometimes... They send you a bunch of emails to let you know they will absolutely stop sending you emails 😑

Why. Why? WHY? WHYYYYY?!?!?

Why are so many, even otherwise respected and very customer satisfaction minded companies so disgustingly cavalier or downright dirty about emails?
Even after this whole GDPR thing!

A recent interview was quite weird.

I emailed my resume to this company, the recruiter keeps sending me emails for 3 days asking follow-up questions and bunch of irrelevant crap. After that the emails completely stopped, she answers me back after a month saying I didn't get the job. Still wondering about that huge amount of personal questions

!dev

Tried to put my latest dev frustration in to a rant. By the time I managed to express it in English, it lost its urgent edge, and it no longer seemed big enough deal to post it here.

I'm the same way about emails too. Write it, read it delete it without sending 8 times out of 10. -.-

In my first dev role I commented out the code for sending acknowledgement emails when a user placed their order, and didn't realize when I committed it. It got pushed to production and we found it a week or so later.

Was probably a factor in me getting sacked from there.

Don’t you just love it when you’re hosting company decides to do a big change on their email sending policies that breaks a bunch of your apps you have written the depending on sending out emails to users for verifications etc.? And of course they did this with no prior notice. Not the way I wanted to spend my weekend updating certain parts of the domain records to allow this to happen.

Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.

I was applying for an appartement. Only way to do that is by sending all required papers to a company

The company emailserver rejects emails bigger then 5mb.
I had to send 4 emails to send all required documents

I deleted Instagram and Facebook recently and I realized that "The social Dilemma" is real. Instagram started sending me regular emails which I've never received when I had the app. This explains so much!

Sending emails using a DB... Thoughts?

My current project, it's been a 4 month slog working with a client service team who said they read the spec but didn't, said they reviewed the wireframes but didn't , let us work for 2 months off course ( ignoring our nightly builds links and logins all the while but acting as though all was GREAT) before sending us a series of what I can only describe as 'WTF is this?' emails, this wasn't what we expected.... *Queue wind blowing and tumbleweed moments*.. A serious left turn and some back and forth trying of gently ( but eventually 'less' gently) educating them on what processes are, and why we have them... We're now at Beta day T-7 days somehow nearing stable and ... Today.... Today I get an email with another 4 weeks worth of change requests .... Using rage trigger classics like " maybe we forgot to mention... " And " didn't we discuss X?...." The hardest part is trying g to keep my team's morale up, nothing worse than having you deadline victory shot dead with " it's not quite Carling though is it?"

Add on too they failed to send us any content until a month ago ( 3 months late).... Yeah, this one has had me closer than ever to the edge of the cliff...

Form plugin for WordPress on a seriously out of date install won't update until I update WordPress core. Fine, I update core and update the plugin and test the forms again. Form still isn't sending emails on submission. Look into forms settings. Oh look error messages, awesome!

Message: "There are 2 configuration errors"

OK, what are the errors where are the errors?

"There are two configuration errors."

Gee that's really fucking helpful, why even tell me you can see the errors if you aren't going to fucking tell me where the blasted things are. Spend 4 fucking hours trying to figure this out, checking "docs" wiki, support forums, nothing.

Finally decided to just trash the client's form plugin they were using and installed my reliable Gravity Forms.

P.S. if you are going to write code to find errors, and tell me about them, then you had better fucking tell me what the goddamned error is. There is no need to waste a developer's time trying to debug your shitty plugin because you couldn't be bothered to write a useful error handler.

I am really fed up with people emailing me asking about how they can use methods of a library I wrote when the answer is literally in the f***ing JavaDoc. At first I thought it might be me not being comprehensive enough in my doc, but when I literally started sending copies of what I wrote there and got a lot of "Thanks that makes it clear"emails I became really fed up with the laziness of some people. I find it disrespectful to my weeks of work for someone who wants to use it to not read a few lines when in doubt.

I really dont think the project manager who passed out from IIM recently deserves to be paid so much than us devs. I don't know why but I feel it's not fair to pay someone 3 times that of my salary for just sending emails and having some meetings..

Anyone else spend way too much of their day sending old email attachments to people who don't know how to use the basic search functions in their email client? Seriously if my coworkers just learn how to search for emails with attachments they'd be so much more productive. And if they filtered by name too, hoo boy.

I'm so sick and tired of the human dick head parade. Epic has us register for a fucking GitHub organization and people found a way to abuse the pull request and sending 300,000 close to 400,000 people notifications so now we're dealing with spam that's going out with random shit including someone ripping their ass hole open (picture...). Over 200 emails I swear to god. This is why castration should be legal.

Unsubscribed from one, someone creates a new useless PR.

It's lovely when your corporate application starts having problems sending mail through google, so you fallback to your onsite mail server, only to learn it is nothing more than a pass through to your gmail account.
Not only that, but it isn't secured at all, so spam bots have been sending millions of spam emails through it, leading to your google account being blacklisted which caused the email problems in the first place. Yay!

Over the last week I've slowly grown to fucking hate IMAP and SMTP. You'd think after so many years we'd have come up with better servers to manage email but no we still rely on fucking decades old protocols that can't even batch requests.

To make things worse I need to attach to IMAP through node and that has been a nightmare. All the libraries suck ass and even the ones tailored towards Gmail don't work for Gmail because Google decided one day to fucking out the header at the bottom of some emails and split into mimeparts. Also why the fuck is fetching email asynchronous? There's no point at all since we requests are processed line by line in IMAP, and if the library actually supported sending asynchronous requests it wouldn't require a new object to be created for each request and allow only a single listener.

Also callbacks are antiquated for a while and it pisses me off that node hasn't updated their libraries i.e. TLS to support async/await. I've taken to "return await new Promise" where the resolve of the promise is passed as the callback, which let's me go from callback to promise to async/await. If anyone has any other ideas I'm all ears otherwise I might just rewrite their TLS library altogether...

And this is just IMAP. I wish browsers supported TLS sockets because I can already see a server struggling with several endpoints and users, it would be much easier to open a connection from the client since the relationship is essentially:

Client [N] --- [1] Server [1] --- [1] IMAP

And to make the legs of that N : N which would fix a lot of issues, I would have to open a new IMAP connection for every client, which is cool cause it could be serverless, but horrifying because that's so inefficient.

Honestly we need a new, unifying email protocol with modern paradigms...

I cannot stand that companies still use Office365 and other microsoft products to run their business.

I constantly meet with clients and frequently they're always using office for their email. I've seen or experienced rather many of these clients having major problems with their emails, sending things by share point and having issues and so much more.

Plus when you get to the point of dealing with the IT teams, there is typically a lot of people on IT that move very slowly to resolve what seem to be simple issues.

Our company has been using Google for over 8 years now and has been an absolute dream. Sharing documents and spreads easily and easy access to login to my accounts. I feel like with microsoft, i'm always 2FA'ing into everything and it honestly just makes my life harder just to communicate and exchange information with my clients.

When you go out to have a client meeting, then the client doesn't show up (and you only learn they won't show up after you have texted them twice).

Looks like I need to start sending out meeting reminder emails again....

Well I'm back on this stupid project with this stupid Product Owner and I really hate this, it really demotivates me.

I was assigned to this project (data analytics) for like 6 months, working alone with this stupid PO that knows nothing about team management or project management.

The guy had a "methodology" where he established all task to be done daily and would not tell me what we have to do in the entire project but instead would tell me day by day all the tasks to be done in each day. This means that HE was the one making the time estimation which is plain wrong!.

Anyways, I talked to him and told him that I need to have a wide overview of the project in order to be able to make a good time estimation, and it kind of worked.

But the guy is a pain in the ass, calls me every 4 hours to "talk" about the project and texts me every hour to check "how are we doing?".

This project was killing me, I had no motivation to work on it, I hated every minute of it, I didn't like it at all to the point my boss (not him) talked to me and asked me what was wrong with me. I told him: This is not the project for me. He told me: Ok let's try to move you to another project.

After six months of agony, the project was stale (customer approval, paperwork, blah, blah) I was assigned to two other projects that I liked, more software architecture and development, not data analytics.

And last week my boss came back to me with "well, the project was approved so we need you back at it".

WHAT PART OF I'M NOT THE RIGHT GUY FOR THIS PROJECT DIDN'T YOU GET?

Now I'm again with this dude, calling me, texting me, sending me infinite emails, asking for minutely updates...

I really don't want to be working on this project.

I shake my head at companies who think sending me unsolicited emails/texts is going to encourage me to do business with them. :P

Just cut down registration from 5s api response (because its sending email confirmation) into 70ms using rabbitmq (emails are now delegated in rabbit queue and sent whenever the queue takes place)

But still around 70ms to register which is great and fast (because it also generates jwt token and returns the whole user object + jwt) so its difficult to keep this at 7-9ms response time

Is this normal and is it fine to leave it at 70 or can this be optimized (or should it be)?

AWS offers a wide range of services that can be used to automate your IT operations. Some of the most popular services for automation include:

*AWS Systems Manager Automation: This
service allows you to automate tasks such as
provisioning servers, deploying applications, and
configuring security policies.
*AWS Lambda: This service allows you to run
code without provisioning or managing servers.
This can be used to automate tasks such as
sending emails, updating databases, and
processing data.
*AWS CloudFormation: This service allows you
to create and manage infrastructure as code.
This can be used to automate the deployment
of complex IT environments.
*AWS CodePipeline: This service allows you to
automate the software development lifecycle.
This can be used to automate the build, test,
and deploy of applications.

Lets say i have to send an email to the user when:

- user forgot password (email sent with a token to verify the user owns that email, and token identifies for which user is this link valid)

- email verification (email sent with a token to verify the user who just registered, where this token uniquely is generated for each newly registered user)

- etc

Notice how both of these cases include the same shit:
- sending emails
- generating unique tokens
- attaching each record to individual user

Does this mean i should pack this up in 1 single model in the database and differentiate which type of email it is over an enum (EMAIL_CONFIRM, FORGOT_PASSWORD etc)?

Or should these shits each have a different model and thus different tables in database?

I was thinking about a cli tool, involving sending emails through smtp because its purpose.
I was very happy finding out that Mozilla with the ISPDB offered a large list of configuration parameteres for various email provider, but I noticed that its not updated.
Any tips is welcomed