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Met a guy in the gym, he asked me to make him an online shop for supplements.
I quickly made a reactive, angular based shop with an admin page.
He paid, I put my name as the creator, it was all good...
...then he removed all legal products and added tons of anabolic steroids for horses in little jars (yes, he even added pro level photos).
I received a call from the police and had to prove that I don't manage his content.14 -
Barista at the coffee shop I go to every morning said he liked my "Emo Hello Kitty" sticker today
17 -
Just me minding my own bussiness at a coffee shop (not starbucks) and a stranger comes up to me.
“Check line 37, might be an error there (laughs)”
I was shocked to say that she’s correct, is she the one guys?17 -
A couple of years ago, I was working in a computer shop as a "technician", I was 15, first job I ever had.
One day an elderly lady came into the shop, probably 50'ish, she and her whole family "suffered" from electromagnetic radiation, and the mother had the worst suffering. She complained about her TV box that just had died.
I accept the tuner and see it's wrapped with 10 layers of aluminium foil, with a tiny hole for the IR receiver.
The whole box smells like burnt electronics, and the foil gets darker for each layer I unwrap. I try explain to her that the box gets warm and overheated by wrapping it like this, and she's lucky that it didn't catch fire.
I further explain to her that she will not get a new box, because the warranty does not cover _this_. The mother tells me she has to wrap it like this, because she gets headaches when she's watching the news.
She then proceeds to go into a rage mode and gets her whole family into the shop, where all of them starts yelling at me, the younger kids start throwing stuff down from the shelves and touching the TVs with sticky fingers (literally, sticky, like yuck!).
Unsure what to do, boss is in a meeting, and my colleague is busy in the back.
So I calmly tell them that in this building there's 4 wireless networks, 3 wireless phones, high voltage cables run in the wall behind me, there's factory tracks 20 meters behind the building, next door business is an electrician, you're standing in front of wall with 30-40 TVs, 5 HDMI splitters, 3 TV boxes and a Blu-ray player. And they've all been standing in front of them for the last 10 minutes.
They all suddenly feel really sick and run out of the store, never to be seen again. From that day, I decided I'll never work in a shop again, and pursued my dreams to become a developer.
TL;DR: Family is "sensitive" to electromagnetic radiation, almost put burnt down their house because of stupidity, yelled at me. I decided to pursue my dream as a developer.16 -
A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."
😂4 -
~yesterday at a coffee shop~
Brother *bragging* about new workstation: "he" has 512gb of ram.
His friend: imagine how many chrome tabs you can keep open at once!
Me: almost one.13 -
Went to a shop to buy bubble plastic envelopes (gotta send something carefully).
Walked out with a new Bluetooth music headset, couple of charging cables, Ethernet cable and a music input splitter and also those envelopes.
Why am I like this 😓19 -
When you're just coding away in some Coffee Shop and some random guy/girl asks you
"are you trying to hack the wifi" smh12 -
Was working on some a project at a coffee shop with my girlfriend when I got frustrated and exclaimed "God damn why is this method breaking everything". My girlfriend looks up at me and starts in surprise "code can break?".6
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My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!
She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.
Best sister in law!
11 -
My dad finally lost all hope on me when I took my PC to the repair shop.
"Son, you're studying computer engineering"
"My apologies, papa"
What can I do ☹️ It wasn't booting at all.6 -
Story time!
My exboyfriend used to code in php 5. It’s his favourite programming language, and I hardly teached him how to code in Python.
One day, I said to him: Hey schatz, let’s go to the sex shop ...
He: Oh yeah 😏
Me: ... and buy an elephant thong 😁
He: What?!
Me: Yes, a blue elephant thong for Php
Me laughed
Me: So?
He: No way!
Me: Please!!!!!
He: Ok. I’m working at a cultural events web page. When I got my first client, we’ll go to the sex shop and buy the “php thong”.
Well... I broke up with him before we could go to the sex shop 💔😂😭( for another reasons, not for the php thong, obviously)
Do you have any funny story like this?
28 -
Love this story about a dusty old original Commodore 64 that has been running for 25+years in a Poland auto repair shop. It runs a program to balance driveshafts.
https://google.com/amp/...
3 -
Still haven't been paid for completed a retail shop project. But all is well, since the system will not start on Black Friday till I remove the if condition 😈9
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My face when a customer cancels the order to develop an online shop for them, just to instead build the shop on their own using a 5€/mo webpage builder.
The fuck?3 -
I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.8
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God dammit, my ISP fucked up.
I have a 400 Mbit/s Internet connection, which I pay a lot for it. I live in the central of a average city and we got 18 Appartements here with a banque and a wellness shop underneath.
There is a new shop under our block and 1 month ago a tecnician was here and made some recabling, so the shop would get enough performace.
Now since 1 week ago I have a bad output, laggs in games and just get about 250 Mbit/s, when not on high traffic times.
That fucking multipler in our house is over 10 years old and around 18 households are connected to it.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT CHANGING IT, WHEN YOU SEE IT'S NOT ENOUGH?
We all here in this building are paying a lot for it, and now that fucking thing is overused and broken and you're just grabbing our money you shitbags!!!
YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!23 -
I wrote an app that tells me if a lottery ticket is winning. It takes a picture of the ticket, does OCR, finds the number lines and compares them with a remote json.
I live next door to a lottery shop.10 -
I work in a computer repair shop. A COMPUTER repair shop. And every day, I get asked "Do you repair phone screens?" No. No, I do not. Stop asking!11
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Get my hunter license.
Become the pirate king.
An anime adaptation before we are 18.
Liberate Japan from Britannia.
Get Kokonotsu to take over the candy shop.
Kill my teacher before he wipes out humanity.
Kill all the kabane.
Kill all the titans.20 -
saying git is shit (cite at the end) and nobody professional uses it.
cite:
"GIT ist scheisse, es ist schwer zu installieren und man muss die Kommandozeile benutzen. Das benutzt doch niemand."26 -
Local coffee shop/tech book store says what we're all thinking.
This is pretty on brand. They're my favorite local book store. If you're ever in town, definitely visit.
https://www.adasbooks.com/
9 -
3 years going to the same coffee shop to work on various projects every weekend. Finally someone comes up to me for a chat about programming!!!8
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Today I found this sticker in the Microsoft merchandise shop.
Now I don't know what to do. I find this epic, but I don't really like Windows. 😥
10 -
The coffee shop isn't a secure place to talk about business confidential information. I might be at the table next to you, but I'm in your same industry.5
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*Got a request for installing and configuring an online shop for a client*
Me: Do you have a web space already?
Client: No, I don't want to pay for it. (FYI: They only cost about 20€ a year)
Me: Okay, but free hosters are often slow and unprofessional. I really do not recommend using free hosting services.
Client: Doesn't matter, do it.
Me: *Working on the shop for several weeks, finally goes online*
One week later, client contacts me saying shop is offline. I realize the free hoster he used shut down their services (bankruptcy), resulting in the loss of about 90% of the work that I had done (no proper backups due to complexity)
Client: How can that even happen? You'll redo the shop, right?
♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ5 -
Blast from the past: this 100MHz PC came into the shop today! It has a 4GB IDE drive and some unknown thicc-chip RAM. Can somebody say... *Win9x*???
17 -
So the lady that owns the coffee shop at the office park I work in, is as obsessed with coffee as I am, and very proud of her cappuccino making skills.
As a result of our discussions about coffee, when ever I come into the shop, she takes over from the barista to make my cappuccino personal to ensure that it's perfect.
That is a wonderful gesture, but the barista make a much better cappuccino than she does.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, what do I do?17 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
Got a promotion at work, now manager and opening a brand new location for the tech shop.
That means I have 5x the amount of income to help fund my company and tech, I am so happy.2 -
Fired because an metric they used was too small (accepted tickets). My problem was: everyone of the others took imidiatly the tickets, just to have them "in progress".5
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when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)2 -
When you fix your mates PC and upgrade windows on it and month later he comes back because his scanner is really slow, his wife doesn't understand English anymore and cat decided to leave his cat life to become full time florist at local bakery shop.2
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We have a long time developer that was fired last week. The customer decided that they did not want to be part of the new Microsoft Azure pattern. They didn't like being tied to a vendor that they had little control over; they were stuck in Windows monoliths for the last 20 years. They requested that we switch over to some open source tech with scalable patterns.
He got on the phone and told them that they were wrong to do it. "You are buying into a more expensive maintenance pattern!" "Microsoft gives the best pattern for sustaining a product!" "You need to follow their roadmap for long term success!" What a fanboy.
Now all of his work including his legacy stuff is dumped on me. I get to furiously build a solution based on scalable node containers for Kubernetes and some parts live in AWS Lambda. The customer is super happy with it so far and it deepened their resolve to avoid anything in the "Microsoft shop" pattern. But wow I'm drowning in work.24 -
A shop donated this make up sample to my wife.
The container now is on my pc: the slogan is Immortal reset.
3 -
dfox, trogus - you guys are so incredibly nice!
thank you so much!
(ordered stickers from the shop hoping some of the money goes to the guys and they put an extra free swag without me asking for it)
1 -
Gotta crank put a website for our new store in 2 days, with a webstore and figure out how to get pokemon into the actual shop. And the hosting gives me 50MB. Yes. In 2016.2
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I've been waiting for my girlfriend to try some clothes for the past 40 mins and we were still in the first shop. I swear it's been 2 days since we arrived at the mall.
I just want to finish my first vuejs project (vuejs from a back end dev perspective is simply awesome).
Not a true devrant but a rant non the less. Save me devbrothers2 -
I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.
4 -
Well done, T-Mobile!
They have an iOS app to handle contract stuff. That app integrates their shop system via an internal browser.
The shop notifies me, that the used browser is not supported by the shop...
Oh and the browser is an embedded safari on iOS 12.
5 -
Developed web shop for weed dealer
once. Paid me in weed. His plan was to sell cosmetics through the site and move away from drug dealing altogether. Not sure if he actually did it, as I was too high to finish it..7 -
Heights of laziness.
My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.
Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.19 -
I scored a GBA sp (with Super Mario Bros 3) at my local Goodwill today for $20. I always wanted one as a kid, but I almost didn't get it cause some asshole found it first. I saw him fumble with it for a solid 3 minutes before he could get it to turn on. Finally he put the cartridge in the right way and flicked the power switch. I thought it was all over. At that point the dumbass realized it worth something but instead of buying it HE HID THE GAMEBOY AND LEFT. I wasn't going to wait for him so I bought it myself 😂.
6 -
When i'm in a coffe-shop, i always have the same thoughts:
"Hello, friend.
Hello, friend?
That's lame.
Maybe I should give you a name, but that's a slippery slope.
You're only in my head."1 -
My phone crashed (probably bricked), so I had to return it to the retailer for repairs.
They lend me a phone until mine returns from the shop. It is ancient. I feel like an archaeologist.5 -
Time for the self assessment for the year...
"Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?"
Oh idk.... Maybe owner of a small coffee shop with no stress whatsoever...
Or I might fuck off to my own little mountain like Luke that'll be nice...4 -
!rant
For the second time in a row, one of our customers decided not to pay their server. The server, on which a lot of the work we did for them (online shop) was hosted. Shortly after completion, we specifically told them to backup their stuff on a daily basis, secure their server and regularly update it... Guess who did neither of those things, in addition to not paying their server after more than 5 reminders, and still complains about their shop being offline. Fucking idiots.2 -
A colleague went to work in his mobile home since he has to spend a few days in our office and he refuses to go on hotel. My office is above a shop and we share our parking.
Now one of the employees of the shop just entered in our office and bitched that the mobile home is taking in too many parking spots.
The parking is more than half empty :')7 -
Marketing sends an average of 3 newsletter per week all year round, and 4-5 per week on Christmas.
Mailchimp makes this so damn easy for them...
We have ~500.000 subscribed customers.
They discovered the new chrome push notifications API and I 'refused' to build anything for it because I already find the amount of email they send unacceptable and I am pretty sure they would abuse of it.
I'm already imagining like 10 push messages a day...
Am I wrong? What would you do?7 -
TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?
I'm a LITTLE pissed.
I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.
Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.
I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.13 -
Mom: my photos are gone. Can you find them?
Me: *searches the phone an finds nothing.*
Me: i cant find them.
Me: *Tries to copy 5GB of random Data*
Phone: Copy Error
------------------
Its a noname china phone my Father bought. I warned him about it, because they stole the Samsung design and it said that it was Version 8.1, but didnt had the features 8.1 has
------------------
Me: The Phone deleted it.
Mom: why would a Phone delete my Photos?
Me: because the manufacturer wanted to maximize the money he can get and made an device with higher specs on the paper than it has and manipulated the internal tools to hide this.
------------------
My father asked me why she is so furious. I said to him: because you got screwed so easily.6 -
One of the best things about having a basic knowledge of mechanical engineering, and access to shop floor tools.
I don't have to pay for stuff like docking stations 👌
6 -
I'm working on a laptop in the shop and Explorer crashes. I try restarting it, and get RPC endpoint call errors. On reboot, I get this.
Russian roulette but 3 will probably crash instead of 1.
13 -
It was my first interview at an local transport company. I should be the programmer of an app and manage the computers.
Me: in what language is the app?
Interviewer: we dont know.2 -
@ Developers who don't comply to ISO 8601
I really hope you get to a really nice ice cream shop, get some amazing ice cream, only for you to trip, and fall right on top of the ice cream, ruining your favourite shirt in the process.18 -
Best thing about doing Wifi setup/network maintenance for the local coffee shop for free? Putting my laptop's MAC address into the QOS table and guaranteeing myself bandwidth.5
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Choose yourself:
The one who is too lazy too stand up, the one reinstalled his PC literally every week, or the toxic guy that nobody wants too work with.2 -
When do you know you are a real dev?
When there is a sales of alcohol for half of price in near by shop and you stay at work to solve a bug.
Just happened to me today.2 -
Took my PC to a good repair shop because there was an issue with the motherboard. They complete ruined my cable management while installing the new motherboard I have a glass side panel. Fml.6
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I hate trying to shop on sites powered by services like Shopify. Especially sites that have so many fucking plugins that pop up every 3 to 5 seconds asking me a fuck ton of questions.
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Netbeans is like the girl you pull at 3am in the kebab shop. You wouldn't brag about it, its bloated and bug ridden but it gets you there without having to shell out any more money.2
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So i made coffee and dropped the coffee , went then to the shop to get eggs and sugar ....i walk out with just a coffee 😂😂1
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Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O1 -
Every tech-related company sell more and more swag : tshirt, hoodies, GitLab even sell socks and Docker baby stuff.
Do any of them sell underwear ?!6 -
I wonder if it's possible to become a project manager or a scrum master without habitually incorporating the phrases, "circle back," "reinvent the wheel," and "one-stop shop," in your daily vocabulary.2
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I started thinking it would be a good idea to write a shopping list in json so it's nice and categorised.
Then I thought what people who saw my list in the shop would say.3 -
A "partner" company has created a "REST" API we use on an online shop we developed to send all shop-related requests to.
At least once a month, something fails on their end and the customer calls us every time, expecting that we did something wrong, but it has never been us.
These "partners" do exactly zero testing, are extremely slow in solving API bugs, have almost no logging and have no monitoring on the API at all.
Today at noon, suddenly no customers were able to order anything anymore for 4 hours.
How the fuck can you run a business so unbelievably brainless that this keeps repeating monthly?
Time they fire all their "devs" and everyone in charge of the company and operations. TERMINATE.13 -
ITS FUCKING COLD IN THIS HOTEL!!!! I’M FREEZING TO DEATH!!!
I really am in a coding mood right now but I’m tired anyway and the lack of warmth doesn’t make it better..
Gotta find an internet coffee shop or something like that..5 -
Someone should pitch a new TV show centered around an internal dev shop of a large company and use devRant as source material. Years of available content.7
-
I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!
Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards. -
You may not like but dokument everything in your project. It needs its time but it can save your job.
-
Maybe I should’ve gotten a smaller 1.
Anyway maybe just using it hood-up half-zipped.
Thanks to @idontgiveaduck for showing me da swag shop
12 -
i cant stand these idiots anymore. My instructor needed 12 Minutes to understand Megabyte and Mebibyte. He just used the snipping tool to save an SVG from Wikipedia. My instructor is an Person who wrote small Programs in the past and thought that an instructor license is something useful. It hurts listening to him. he was kept busy for hours because of nothing, so we could only twiddle our thumbs. our first instructor went probably because of the Management.
At the beginning of June I will give my lecture for my final exam.
I am fucked.3 -
At the shop, buying cigarettes.
Me: give me *** cigarettes
Cashier: sure, you want one click, double click...
Me: do you have a right click? -
When you are italian but you want a laptop with a US keyboard....
... all the shop online (with less than 10€ of shipping cost) become empty.
Fuck.10 -
Working on an online shop lately.
SUCH A FUCKING BEAUTY. I AM SO PROUD I NEVER TOUCHED CSS AND HTML BEFORE!
10 -
Shoutout to all my fellow ranters with boring ass non dev related jobs! Working in a shop to get myself through uni sucks2
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Sadly I just had to switch to android, I was in a shop and a notification popup: "Are you enjoying this shop? share some comment, picture, review...) ... the notification was from google maps, it was the latest google app to be disabled, now there is only play store. google account is used only for the play store... fun facts that most of people complains about windows 10 telemetry, but almost nobody complains about "don't be evil" google9
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When coworkers built the shop to allow adding items to cart via url query parameters-_-
/shop/?itemNum=1234&Qty=4
..what?4 -
Why the fuck do i need to propose try-catch to an contractor, so he can fix his application, because its crashing if the input is non-conform to the specs?
Oh and before you ask. The application is a application that processes and sanitizes invoices.8 -
Found out yesterday that the only Mac repair shop in town wants $1200 to fix the MacBook Pro I paid $1400 for 6 months ago2
-
ABAP - a language that is frozen in the 60s
PHP - an inconsistent language
Flashplayer - do i need to say more?
Internet Explorer - ↑5 -
Awhile ago I said I'm getting Acer Swift 3. I did. But I don't have it yet.
Why? Because I asked for RAM upgrade. (4GB original)
2 things to rant.
1) Acer is giving a free 4GB RAM as gift which the shop didn't mention when I bought the laptop and extra RAM. So when I get it, I'll have an extra 4GB RAM.
2) I bought it on Tuesday. The shop said they will need to send the laptop to Acer service center for RAM upgrade and expect to get it on Wednesday. I called yesterday, it's still not done.
Let's see if I will get it today.1 -
I got this in the shop today: a fully-working XP POS AiO with an x86 processor. 2.2GHz Celeron dual-core, 2GB RAM, 150GB HDD. Y'all can have it for free, but no company will ship it, so you gotta come get it.
6 -
I try to change my workplace to a local coffee shop or library.
That new environment and a good, large coffee really boost me -
a very old bicycle shop... my sister is working on a new design for them, but they haven't taken the old page down and she doesn't have access/responsibility for this.
5 -
dear perl devs,
WTF is wrong with you.
some of your version numbers look like someone uses floats for money without knowing the dangers of it.
Some Examples:
2.000006
2.0030044 -
Damn, nespresso! As if your fucking webshop wasn't bad enough, don't bug me (haha) with useless mails AND JUST TEST YOUR SHIT BEFORE PRODUCTION!!! Seriously, thousands of customers pay lots and lots of money for mediocre coffee in aluminum capsules, so JUST HAVE THE DECENCY TO INVEST SOME BUCKS INTO THE CUSTOMER FACING APPS!!!
6 -
dear ietf-people i want to thank you that tls1.3 is official. i know it was hard work to say just no to the doughbags and preventing that middleware and spyware manufacturers implementing static keys.
to make it short:
Thank you for your hard work -
Walking in a shop. Using my react native todo app with redux i made for personal product. Feels good man2
-
T(x, y)=x*(1+y/100)+√-1
x = hours estimated from Boss. if the boss
y = sum of the features with the following weight:
Multiplatform = 10
Web = 5
social * = 100
blockchain = 100
HTML-email = 10
Every other bullshit bingo term = 20
everything else = 1
Terms that appear multiple times count multiple times.
If the boss didnt give his estimate triple the feature-value and use 100 as x-value3 -
I am a single-pass compiler.
Why?
Well, when I have to do the food shopping for the week, I have a look at the buying list, keep the things in mind, go through the shop exactly once and everytime I see a match with the list, I put it into the shopping trolley.
Efficient and quick.
Soo, on the other hand, my girlfriend is a multi-pass compiler.
What that mean, you ask?
Well, she doesn't have any look at the buying list until she is in the shop. Then, she runs through the whole building until she finally finds the first thing on the list... and repeats with the next one until there's no entry left.
She needs three times longer than me for this, is totally exhausted after it, and, not forgetting, then SHE is angry about ME, because I wanted to have these "special" sweets she had too run through the shop twice for because she couldn't find it at first try.1 -
Im started with Lego, with 12 i learned to solder, got interested in computers and ended up learning diverse languages to solve problems.
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!rant
So, my friend and I want to start a small business. For that, we will need an online shop. Since it's not happening tomorrow, I figured I could take the time and build it myself.
However, I've never done anything of the sorts, so... where do I start?
I don't have any specific tech stack in mind, I am new to it all.
Help?22 -
I have this colleague that who is nice, but if you mention anything about (not complete) java, sun, vmware, windows, daus(dumbest possible user), car manufacturer your ears bleed with is rants about it.
For example:
We talked about BMW which published that the energy generated from recuperation of one of their cars is around 60%. Immediatly he rants that it its not possible and the calculated number of an forum user of the newssite who calculated that 90% of the kinetic energy is regenerated has no idea about the problems.
Sometimes its hard to endure the hate, but i can relate with him in some things.2 -
I think one point that people often forget is that bootcamps are more of a learning accelerator than a one-stop shop, and the few reputable camps around do quite a good job.1
-
I wonder how much more profitable is this year for Corona brewers :)
just sitting in a car next to a shop. I've never seen this many folks buying sixpacks of Corona.2 -
Developing a clothing shop and being bored. Adding clients like Napoleon Bonaparte with the comment that this person is missing a hand.
-
I think one of the hardest part while making an RPG game is setting the prices of the shop items and determining the rewards you get from quests.
Really struggling right now...8 -
At a coffee shop, not sure what is happening, but there is a 1/4 Chance of me connecting to a server each time I try to open a page! Fuck it is frustrating!
-
Netcup. Great hosting, the machines are usually fast set up and cheap. The boss writes in the forum to help the customers.11
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I feel like front end guys and gals are basically the folks that make the back end guys and gals look good for the boss. Not in a straight dev shop, but when your boss thinks html is a programming language...3
-
I might have gotten myself in the situation that I have to update this Android app, whose development was outsourced (we're a .NET shop). I just peeked into the APK and realized it's written in js (Cordova).
How fucked am I?4 -
How do people work in coffee shops for the day but not lose their seat when they inevitably need the toilet?!
Keep buying coffee to stay in the shop causing me to pack up at least 3 times today and move to a different corner....3 -
I just road about 400km in a 150cc motorbike between yesterday and today to pick my notebook from the assistance shop. Oh my god, feels good to be home. Now with my baby boy recovered :)2
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It's not everyday you see a pink unicorn coding and getting frustrated in a coffee shop...FYI that pink unicorn was me.
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My 2013 rMBP's battery just died at 56%, even though iStat reports that the health is still at 75%. May have to take it in to the shop for a new battery soon...5
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I just setup an apt-cache on my Macbook. Docker no longer takes 10 years to `apt-get install` when I'm at the coffee shop. This coffee shop is going to loose so much money now that my work is done faster.
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Clak!
Clak!
Clip!
Squeeeek-clak!
Tat! Tat! Tat!
Clip-clip!!
Badabang!
Clak!
Clak!
Yepp.. Everybody got some free fidget-swag from the BuildStuff conf :) now the whole office sounds like a clocks' shop3 -
@dfox
Would it be possible to extend the shop with a perl rubber duck? I feel left alone as one of the few perl coders here... everyone seems to be using php and python etc.
I'd probably be willing to pay more12 -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
it was the last time i used PHP for an school project. i and an other group decided to make an website. it was luck that no input was required. Because i already knew PHP and HTML i need to help them. the code they made was the cause i quit php. the site only worked after an redirect. it was irony that tje code looked like it was written from a junkey and the theme was drugs.7
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This app (https://f-droid.org/app/...) is bugging me for months. I have the feeling that one is possible and the others are just jokes.
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That moment when the shop you just bought something from send you back a confirmation email with your password in clear... :/3
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Am I spoiled when I see how Django makes the separation of components and the database independent way to store migrations easy?4
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A platform where users can build fashion shop and others buy share buy or upvote items together build a community8
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Uh so I might be getting a job at a local coffee shop while I go through college. I’ve never had a job before so idk if I’m doing the right thing or if I’m rushing into it.5
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All the procrastinating in my schooltime.
All times i was in rage and hurt people.
They haunt me till today among other things.1 -
"Only the strongest gains the right to get the oil". Saw it at the shop yesterday.
This slogan is indeed correct — China soon will be "getting the oil" on russian land. Say bye-bye to all the land south of Ural Mountains.
5 -
Some zygote just came into my shop, and had "PC Master Race" tattooed on his arm... I'm all for pc over console but Lord is that dedication1
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Aaarrgghh! Stupidity of some webdevelopers! Ordering new battery on e-shop and got in my mail devilery report from one freemail service. Checking what kind of spam it is and those lazy bastards are taking my full order and sending it with my e-mail addresses in From to their freemail account. Which correctly rejects it based on SPF as the freemail suprisingly does its job well. Who the hell thought this would be a good idea? Grrrr!2
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This, thankfully, I didn't create myself. A shop I recently ordered something from had the worst username / password default combo.
After registration they gave you a default Password, your zip code. And your unchangeable username is your customer id, a five digit number which just increments for each new user. And because it is a shop which is only used by people of the same region there are maybe 10 different zip codes. -
When you work for a dev shop and one of the clients buys you out of your non compete to hire you directly. Now I'm my old bosses boss :)1
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So this new guy keeps commenting on the fact that I drink the ‘free’ instant coffee instead of the 3$ coffee from the shop next door..
LEAVE ME ALONE!!5 -
Wanted to work from home as usual. Logged in in citrix with my credentials and totp, started rdp to connect with the bank.
i try it for the first time: failed to connect
I try it for the second time: error 0x112d (some thing about two programs that have an the same port open)
I ask my colleagues to look after the pc in the office and what was it:
FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FILLED THE RAM COMPLETLY.
Luckily no data was lost, since i had everything important commited and pushed.3 -
the code from a school colleague. So written that you must load the index page and are redirected to a second. if you try to load the second page you get errors. Many errors.
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There's a function a previous employee wrote called isNullOrEmpty.
... It's a JavaScript function.
We're a .NET shop, if you couldn't guess. -
One of our departments works only on Thinclients and one of my colleagues made an loop. You can think what happened.7
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When i was fired in a few minutes in my first meeting with the boss since i was working there.
but now im glad im out of there. The kpis they use to see how someone performs are utterly useless.6 -
My company has an default user for external people and two wifi networks, on for the company itself and on for the employees. both wifis have an shit of an firewall(more than once were wikipedia blocked). I found out that the internal wifi allowed the default user and had some outgoing ports open, i set up an vpn and now i can use what i want without being blocked.
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Probably the one where we had an error, because the service from a thirdparty we needed to install used a fourthparty service that was behind a proxy. Due of internal reasons we needed to use our own tomcat instead of the standard tomcat. We made a meeting because we didn't found out at that point that the problem was the firewall that dropped the packages from the application. We replayed it to them (at that point it was in my musclememory) and after a month i got the idea to use tcpdump to see if the server is calling another webservice, which was denied by the developers.
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When someone says that a company is Java/Python/Ruby "shop", they are implying that company sells those programming languages instead of its products. Would you call macys/nordstorm a cottonshop? See how ridiculous that sounds!2
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So today I went to a nearby computer shop to buy the Asus Vivobook 15.
Left that shop with not only the laptop and it's free bag, but also a free USB flashdrive, a free set of 6 glasses and a free set of casseroles!
Getting kitchenware items was the last thing I expected from a computer shop.
The sales lady was really nice too. I'm really glad I bought it offline than ordering it online, the price was same as well.3 -
I just got Jenkins all setup locally, setup the first pipeline, get docker working with it, setup the build step, setup the test step and more.
In under an hour.
Not too bad for the first attempt.
The hardest part was figuring out the GitHub credentials.
———
Actually, the hardest part was keeping an eye on the dude in the booth next to me who has delusions of grandeur and likely other mental illnesses.
Had to keep an eye on him while he was pointing around the room (usually at me) and saying shit like...
“Ugly, ugly, all of you are fucking ugly”
“Fuck you, fuck you too!”
I’m sitting over here thinking...
“Bud, you got 3 teeth, you smell like shit and your rambling to yourself... fuck you you ugly piece of dog shit! Let me do my work I peace.”4 -
4 day weekend for the holidays but computer breaks down and the shop will only have the parts I need after the holidays :/1
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I have a guy that will come in a few hours to discuss about an e-commerce website he wants to start his business. I've accepted to do it freelance.
Things are a little quick for my taste, but I know myself enough to know that if I don't jump head first, I'll back out and miss on an opportunity to add something valuable to my resume (and get a bit of money).
The thing is : I have nearly zero experience in 1) e-commerce websites and 2) client relationship and managing. So that will be a great challenge to me, but that's precisely what I need right now.
Anyway, I'm coming to you to ask a few questions : assuming his requirements are simple and common for an online shop, should I create it from scratch or would it be wiser to use a dedicated framework (Prestashop, Wix, etc.). If the latter, which one would you recommend, cost and efficiency-wise.
Still assuming simple and common requirements, how much time would it likely take, for an average developper (I'm no Linus Torvalds) working on average 8h a day ? More like 2-3 months, or more like 5-6 months ? I'm leaning more towards 2-3, but since I don't have experience in these kind of websites, I find a lot of user stories that might take me time to figure out.
Last but not least, what would be approximately an honest price, technical costs aside (domain, host, potential framework, etc.) for that kind of work. And for maintenance ?2 -
Apparently ex twitter employees have created an mastodon instance for themselfs and their family.21
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I started programming in Basic. Years later I was in a shop and asked my dad to buy me a book "to create games". He bought me a Javascript introductory book. Never got after chapter 1, though years later I regretted it...
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Sometimes it’s hard being the only front end web dev at an older desktop/backend centric shop... sometimes I say things that make me look so ignorant but then I’m like “...how do you not know how to write basic CSS?”
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#magento
Idk who's developing that, but that's what occured to me:
Request for getting specific category in shop:
V1/categories/{category_id}
Request for getting categories list:
V1/categories/list
....?
"Invalid type for value: "list". Expected Type: "int""
I wonder fucking why -.-'1 -
short: The admin with enough xp is ill, there is no one with xp with varnish is and after 1 restart varnish outputs only 503.
long: there original admin is ill but he gave me an project to migrate an typo3 installation to a new server. Thats ok.
Plan: I move 150 GB of data with rsync to the new server, let specialists do something and switch ips between the new and old and clear varnish with a restart.
Reality: +2 hours to migrate the data, because of false infos from the admin, 7 hours preparing the switch, 5 minutes switch, 3 hours to find out the F*****G varnish is the single point of failure. I and the t3 guys agree to see the next day what went wrong.
ALL HAPPENED TODAY!
Plan for tomorrow: speak with the boss to account the extra hours to that day so i dont get over 10 hours and debug that fucking varnish and delete some servers from another project from the backupsystem and monitoring.3 -
1. 72 hours at an heavy used street with many holes and open windows (not the os) on an hot day for those, who stop the people, who work against air pollution;
2. die nvidia;
3. a pc with an inbuilt 10 kW fusionreactor, water heater, 2 amd cpu of the latest gen, 2 of the highest tier amd graphic cards and an mainboard which follows the spec of the cpus;
That should cover everything i need.1 -
Hey, is there a site where i can search laptops from every manufacturer, not just a shop specific one, where they only list the ones they sell?
Or alternatively, is there a 14" amd ultra-ish book that is not acer asus or lenovo?5 -
Me and my GF at a tea shop. GF knows one of the tea baristas.
Her = "tea barista"
Him = "tea barista"
Her: you're studying queer theory
GF: Yes I am
Him: Why don't they just call it Query
Me: LOLOL
Him: LOLOL
Her && GF: >.>1 -
- looking for a specific device in a single e-shop
- browse the listings of available SKUs
- find the one I want, buy it
And after I buy it, for some reason ad services think I need another one (or perhaps several other ones) from the same shop, as they keep showing me ads with the part I've purchased. And this goes on for weeks...
Talk about AI and clever advertising algorithms........5 -
Sitting alone in a coffee shop, getting the vibe of the place, letting go.
It's not easy when you're thinking about bugs and missing features. 😫3 -
Old,but gold programmer joke
Wife asks her programmer husband to go and buy some things from a shop.
Wife: Go and buy 1 carton of milk,if they have eggs in the shop - bring 6.
Programmer comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
Wife: Why you bought 6 cartons of milk?
Programmer: Because they had eggs.1 -
!rant
When making an ecommerce site, what platform do you guys use? WooCommerce, Magento, Shopify, ....
Or do you just start from scratch with a payment gateway such as stripe or icepay5 -
Books ( stieg larsson, randall munroe, ...), and very old first aid kit,, 2 handmade ludo games, several keyboards, two ood screens, two notebooks, several harddrives and more stuff that should go to recycling.
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Does anyone have a really nice coffee shop in your city that opens in dawn time? I was looking for something like this in my city and I didn't find. Now I don't know if something like this is possible or it is just a dream.6
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Going trough word document with client comments on website and this is last small tweak "Please can you insert the ‘Shop’ tab to the top of the page on the far right. "
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Has anybody here used Solr or Elasticsearch for a big online shop? We’re implementing fact finder and are not happy and are wondering about solr and stuff like that.
I kinda want more emotional input from other devs so I thought I asked here :)
Thanks !5 -
Everything works great on Ubuntu!
Hell yeah let's install it everywhere.
3rd hard drive dead in 6 months.
But I blame the brand, TeamGroup, or the batch was bad ( all 3 of them were bought at the same day from the same shop)15 -
Maybe our old buildsystem that runs using mock and an python 2 script on a RHEL 6 machine OR
The incredible complex system of a gouvernment customer that had a networkplan on DIN A2(or A1 i don't know it anymore) since A3 was too small. i was responsible because everyone else left (because of different reasons) or was too busy. -
How do you find somebody to date? I'm at this point where I only go to the office and back and maybe to the shop and that's about it (Yes, I'm that lame). What do you guys do to "meet hot singles around you"?8
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Fuck teamcity. You locked my domainaccount 2 times already this week. Even when i used a accesskey it queried the AD.2
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Hello dev-fellas.
A cousin of mine is a craftswoman.
She wants to set up an online store that she can manage.
Which tech is the best/easiest today to set up that?
Prestashop? Shopify? WordPress with any plugin?
Thanks6 -
have u ever feel annoyed when you log in your google account at printing shop and all your bookmarks appeared on that pc? all you wanted to is uninstall that google chrome..2
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Not a rant, just a quick question. If I very little interest in studying algorithms, will I ever be allowed into a tech shop?2
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He was not reslly my dev-teacher, he was a math/physics teacher. But he had an after school an it workshop. That was the first place where i really worked with development. I was just a bit with html, php and LEGO mindstorms but it helped me with my knowledge. He is one of the best teachers in my school. Without him I would probably making windows and doors.
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Totally not going to a coffee shop to code all day and get some space from my family while back from college ..4
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So printing ABS was challenging.
Picking right nozzle and bed temperature.
Making it stick to bed, adjusting Z axis etc took me 4 hours including going to shop for hegron hair spray.6 -
Somebody: (whinwy) we need something to log into nonprivileged technical accounts without our rootssh proxy. We want this pammodule pam_X.so
me: this stuff is old (-2013) and i can't find any source for it. How about using SSSD with libsss_sudo? Its an modern solution which would allow this with an advantage of using the existing infrastructure.
somebody: NO I WANT THIS MODULE.
me: ok i have it packaged under this name. Could you please test it by manipulating the pam config?
Somebody: WHAT WHY DO I NEED TO MANIPULATE THE PAMCONFIG?
me: because another package on our servers already manipulates the config and i don't want to create trouble by manipulate it.
Somebody: why are we discussing this. I said clearly what we need and we need it NOW.
we have an package that changes the pam config to our needs, we are starting to roll out the config via ansible, but we still use configuration packages on many servers
For authentication as root we use cyberark for logging the ssh sessions.
The older solution allowed additionally the login into non-rootaccounts, but it is shut down in the next few weeks after over half an year of both systems active and over half an year with the information that the login into non-privileged accounts will be no more.7 -
1. Where does it run
2. Who runs it
3. did i put every bit of email conversations about errors in my archive? -
Feeling touched deprived while eating breakfast lmao. A real mf might just cry in this bagel shop.3
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Sometimes being a developer really sucks. I adopted a heavily customized OXID shop which introduced an ingame currency beside the fiat currency.
It was done by introducing $iPriceChannel and replacing the $dPrice float value with a multidimensional array across all components, controllers and models.
Wait ... not 100% of the code has been "adapted" yet but it's sufficient to get it working at the first glance.
The reality is: The shop has many subtle bugs and piles up huge (error) log files.
Every time when a bug was found,
and every time the shop maintainer is unlocking an OXID feature which hasn't been used yet, I have to fix it.
It's even extra hard to fix issues sometimes because the shop is embed in a game by utilizing a content-aware reverse proxy. My possibilities to navigate through the shop directly is limited because some of the AJAX/CSS/HTML elements doesn't work without loading this game.1 -
Third-party integrations are the worst. To top it all if the company is working on PHP5 and expects API requests/responses in XML is recipe for disaster.
Old companies running code and standards older than a decade should just die and shut shop.5 -
That moment when you get asked if you know a language and database that your shop has never used, because an ex-employee in a different department decided to build a mission critical app on their own accord, and it just went tits up.
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So my mom told me to go buy some grocery. She told me to buy something, which i'll call here 'gnu'. So, she told me to buy 2kgs of gnu from a shop from which we buy all our stuffs. I told her that the shop will be closed today as today is Sunday... So, she told me to buy it from the other shop and if he charges more than 40 bucks, buy 1kg only.
Apparantly, that shop was out of gnu. So i went to some other shop and bought home 2 kgs of gnu for 70 bucks.
Now she is angry and i don't know why as i simply followed her instructions.
What has programming done to me?3 -
I wanted to resetup my gitea on a newnserver and now? I can't connect with the postgres db and i have literally no idea why. it fucking worked when it ran on my old debian and now it won't even connect.
😭 -
This is my coding fuel of choice. Import carmelbrulle from tea
That tea shop is my coding zone, where is yours?
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I started with html and php with xampp, with the selfhtml in a packaged version.
After this came a language called Lite-C (basically a gaming engine with some stuff abstracted).
After that came again a phase with php/html with some of these small free hosters.
After that my IT specialist training started and i switched to python and now im into golang.2 -
Wherever make it easier for me to enter the zone. Sometimes a loud coffee shop will do when I felt like it. Sometimes at home when everything is so quiet. It depends.
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I work at a small shop.
Just a few devs and a handful of other people.
Good people. Even before COVID I worked from home a great deal.
But man there was always a lot to do at a small shop with priorities changing based on this customer's need or that one.
Now with COVID things are slowing down a bit and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel of my backlog.
I really would like to do some serious refactoring of an application I wrote, I'm embarrassed everytime I have to fiddle with it ;) -
Probably one of these:
- electrician (middle or low voltage)
- unfit for employment in germany, which is the worst. -
The best ones are in my opinion the ones that are easy to use and don't need a manual to exit(i look at ypu emacs). This is a list of tools that i use only if nothing else is available:
- nodejs directly
- emacs
- vi/vim
- rpm1 -
I had this guy. He had an annoying voice and the worst trait of him was he was an Solaris fan. on nearly anything he would ramble that solaris is supirior to any other os. Luckily he was gone after a few months, unluckily i had to take over the stuff he did.
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If you are into engineering because you wanted to become one then never settle for a body shop organization even if they lure you with higher CTC and the supposed trending technologies you shall be working on.
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fuck peoplecert. youre software is crap. i dont have anything against yoire requirement that you need to see that someone doesnt cheat. but WHY is my cpu burning and so buggy. i needed 1 hour until the client started the test and somebody was able to see me and the desktop. 10 restarts of your client and one reboot IS TO MUCH.
By the way: i passed -
most cutting edge?
that would be that invoice processing system that is in production despite its pre-pre-pre-alpha status.2 -
I actually prefer doing my code when it is sunny out. Guess it just gives me the feeling of there being a whole day to learn and develop code. I would prefer doing it at a library/coffee shop/school because I like being around people.
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Having the people who hated me die by an aneurysma because they were too upset because of their envy
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I hate how Amazon is "randomly" selecting orders changing them so they can only be paid with a credit card :/1
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I'd probably open an office supplies and stationery shop.
I could also go full time singer, although then I'd be the only full time member of my band.1 -
1 - To be able to use string for my class homework.
2 - A one-stop-shop that explains everything I've ever wanted to know when it comes to programming.
3 - A job as a software developer. -
Just got an email that Datree is closing shop. That's too bad, I considered it a mandatory production k8s tool.
I guess I'll have to whip up some Frankenstein replacement with Open Policy Agent... -
Real programmers use macs in a coffee shop. Perfect for collab and scrum.
Desktop turtles get over it. You're no longer viable.4 -
There was a good old barber in Mumbai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber. He again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. -
I started the pomodoro technique recently. Unfortunately when I went to the shop they only had an egg timer.
It's been a frustrating few weeks. -
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Online shop recommended systems?
Thought that before I'm building a system for online shop from nothing with PayPal API, that I will check with you guys1 -
Best way to troubleshoot a long ttfb on a wp woocommerce site? Yes I know wp and woo == boo. Still, a friend of mine has a shop and needs some help with it. Shared hosting, 6-7sec load for homepage, 4-5secs for product page6
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