Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Dat ass

...this

Morning conversation with wife.

As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter

She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.

Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.

She: that not funny, why do you always do that.

Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.

A little later.....

She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)

I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)

In one of our first C programming classes today in college, I booted up Ubuntu on the dual boot systems to practice our first few programs which we were supposed to be doing in Turbo C on Windows.
I successfully compiled it using gcc on the first try which appeared like magic to my neighbor. Soon our teacher came to check my program and said that I made a mistake. I asked her what is the mistake? She said that I was supposed to be using conio.h!!
I argued that it is not a standard header file and using it makes the code non-portable. She tried it to edit it to include conio.h but couldn't edit it since I was using vim. I was asked to switch to Windows and use Turbo C instead and also use conio.h. I denied and she told me to follow her or leave the class.

The weather was nice.

Taken from Reddit 😂😂😂😂

I'm new, so I'm unaware of the rules. I'll simply assume I'm allowed to post this, if there are any moderators, please tell me if this simply shouldn't be here.

I came from Sololearn, and someone told me to download devRant. I love it.

I was the most active participant in the Sololearn Q&A, answering questions and replying to comments quicker than you can close the app.

Everyone knows me and enjoys having me there, but something happened. Some idiotic troll kept harassing and trolling others including myself. The mods banned him but he returned and was targeting me.

He made over 50 accounts and never replied to a comment with the same account. He sent threats and continued polluting Sololearn.

The mods had a theory is was me and banned my account. I'm heartbroken, furious, upset, and empty without my SL account. My codes are gone, my comments, answers, and replied are gone. Everything is gone.

They think I ruined SL with a false account and I'm trying to clear my name. I'm innocent.

That's when I discovered this app. In SL I loved the community and the Q&A and everything. I loved helping out but now I can't. People are even making posts asking me to return, but the mods removed them.

I hope the community here treats me well, and I hope this will replace SL. So far, I haven't felt the same way as I did with SL, but I'll try to love it just as much.

Dark theme is soothing 😋

Taken from Quora

LOL...

Laughed more than I'd like to admit tbh

When you spend too much time doing JS...

feeling good...

Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".

*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start

*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
....
...
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
...
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"

>"Two weeks ago. "

Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE

No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Seriusly, wtf.

"So what got you in to development and programming?"

Me: well. I needed something to new to help with my depression, stress and anger.

"Oh cool. Did it help?"

Me: yes... They're so much stronger now.

Color jokes

Oh yeah. Hey guys. 2 things.
First off. Forgot to say. Officially got a job. Finally. So thank you for all the help/advice and patience with my depressive rants!!

I'm in a new chapter of my life now so thanks.

And secondly.

I FUCKING HATE MY JOB

Me: *clicks sign out*

Yahoo: "Are you sure you want to sign out?"

Me: DID I FUCKING STUTTER!?

Random quote: "Be a rainbow in someone's cloud"
Me: "Like rainbow as a service?" 😁😋😆

Oh drant !!

Accidently typed sl and a train went across my screen .......

API Guy.

He has a serious regex problem.
Regexes are never easy to read, but the ones he uses just take the cake. They're either blatantly wrong, or totally over-engineered garbage that somehow still lacks basic functionality. I think "garbage" here is a little too nice, since you can tell what garbage actually is/was without studying it for five minutes.

In lieu of an actual rant (mostly because I'm overworked), I'll just leave a few samples here. I recommend readying some bleach before you continue reading.

Not a valid url name regex:
VALID_URL_NAME_REGEX = /\A[\w\-]+\Z/

Semi-decent email regex: (by far the best of the four)
VALID_EMAIL_REGEX = /\A[\w+\-.]+@[a-z\d\-.]+\.[a-z]+\z/i

Over-engineered mess that only works for (most) US numbers:
VALID_PHONE_REGEX = /1?\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-8][0-9])\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-9]{2})\s*\W?\s*([0-9]{4})(\se?x?t?(\d*))?/

and for the grand finale:

ZIP_CODE_REGEX = /(^\d{5}(-\d{4})?$)|(^[ABCEGHJKLMNPRSTVXY]{1}\d{1}[A-Z]{1} *\d{1}[A-Z]{1}\d{1}$)|GIR[ ]?0AA|((AB|AL|B|BA|BB|BD|BH|BL|BN|BR|BS|BT|CA|CB|CF|CH|CM|CO|CR|CT|CV|CW|DA|DD|DE|DG|DH|DL|DN|DT|DY|E|EC|EH|EN|EX|FK|FY|G|GL|GY|GU|HA|HD|HG|HP|HR|HS|HU|HX|IG|IM|IP|IV|JE|KA|KT|KW|KY|L|LA|LD|LE|LL|LN|LS|LU|M|ME|MK|ML|N|NE|NG|NN|NP|NR|NW|OL|OX|PA|PE|PH|PL|PO|PR|RG|RH|RM|S|SA|SE|SG|SK|SL|SM|SN|SO|SP|SR|SS|ST|SW|SY|TA|TD|TF|TN|TQ|TR|TS|TW|UB|W|WA|WC|WD|WF|WN|WR|WS|WV|YO|ZE)(\d[\dA-Z]?[ ]?\d[ABD-HJLN-UW-Z]{2}))|BFPO[ ]?\d{1,4}/

^ which, by the way, doesn't match e.g. Australian zip codes. That cost us quite a few sales. And yes, that is 512 characters long.

Is that a threat? "or else" 😆
Seriously Sololearn is getting out of hand ...

View from my "office" this week. I love coding on vacation.

How to punish new users to Linux when they type sl instead of ls

Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah

Me: Cool. One sec.

*scrolls down*

Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!

Me: Bruh... No.

Not mine but LEL

Unnecessary optimizations everywhere

I just got banned in a chat group because I sent a video with the output of "sl" with the caption:

"I am currently hacking and taking your money"

I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.

Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.

*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*

Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?

Boss: I need it done by tonight! Or you are fired!

* turns to laptop *

$> sl

* cries as the train passes :') *

...LOL

My wife knows what I do, we talk alot and she is interested (she is learning to be a webdev actually).
My kids, likes to watch the black screen with text, I always show them "sl" ;)

My other family, they dont care

Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."

(spoiler: they do)

JS memes are the best

Breakfast of champions

Email from a company I applied To:

"Hi... We will be in touch by the 7th of November"

Me:... It's December already. Maybe I missed it.

Second email: "Sorry! Typo. It's meant to say 7th of November. Refer to this instead"

Me: ...

THIRD email: "So sorry. Or mailing system is failing so disregard all those emails and refer to this one. Thank you."

Me: ... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DATE!??

Happy Christmas.

I once asked "in web development, what does CSS stand for?" some answered "Counter Strike Source"

Brand new clean Windows sandbox

This one time I aliased a coworkers 'sudo' with 'sl' (sl shows a train running across the screen)

And then I removed him from the sudoers group and sudoers list.

I then magnified his screen 200%

Changed his background to a shitty narwhal.

And then full screened a terminal with the 'sl' train stuck in a while loop.

You can't control c out of the terminal.

He solved the first part really quickly, fixing the full screened terminal and exiting out of it, magnification and the background.

But took him 4 days to find that I had fucked up his sudo. Apparently, he didn't need to use sudo in those 4days. It wasn't until he mentioned it out of the blue.

How did he find out about it? He was running an important script that had sudo in it. When he ran the script a train would pop up and his script would terminate early.

He came to me and cursed me to Satan's anus. He then asked me to fix it, but then changed his mind and said that he'd do it himself. After a while he couldn't figure out what I had done.

I walked him through it. Told him that he had to go to his .bashrc file and remove the alias.

Later he comes back to me and curses me to the 12th circle of hell. He found that he was no longer a sudoer. At this point he gave me access to his computer and told me to reverse everything that I had done.
Added him back into the sudoers group and called it a day.

Lesson to be learned? Don't leave your machine unlocked.

Upwork:
"Hey freelancer, sorry we can't let you join this website made for freelancers like you as there are too many freelancers like you on this site made for freelancers like you"

My wife: Oh, hacking is so cool. Can you show me?
Me: Sure. So there I needed to upload the php file, while my netcat was sitting here in the terminal waiting for incoming...
My wife: Boring, BORING.
Me: ....

(At least my 5yr son appreciates the terminal more than she: typing 'sl' or watching star wars in ASCII art.)

Is it just me or is stack overflow full of dicks?

*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .

Let's do it

*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections

*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections

*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%

So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((

Ctrl+Q instead of Ctrl+W in Firefox. Yup happens every time.

Waiting on page break....

Ask questions during interview.
Ask about trainings - it's usually a good sign when company offers training budget. Ask about specifics - sometimes it's a shared pluralsight account, and nothing else, which means that that had an idea and half assed it into existence.
Ask tech recruiter about overtime, a good sign is when they have no idea or say that it must be budgeted and scheduled - it means that it does not happen often.
Ask if it is possible to select and change projects, and how often it happens - if often, it may be bad low level management, or people learning new things and jumping between projects.
Also make sure to ask about rules for promotions and pay rises. Good company wił have a clear set of rules in place.
All of the above apply to mid to large companies.
For small company, i'm sure it will be different.

Ok yeahhh it’s not me.

Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.

My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate

They have no idea.

sl is cooool !

This. Also. Applies. To. The. Devs.

Why didn't I comment my code on Friday...

LONELINESS IS REAL
I am a freshman in a university ( about to complete my first year ) with a girl to boy ratio of around 1:10. During my first semester I was spending a lot of time with friends, chatting up with people and making connections. Due to this my productivity as a dev, if I am even capable of being called that decreased ( I was not a developer before joining , but I had an aim of being one , esp at least the best in my batch ) after 1st year. In retrospect I did nothing productive till 3 months out of 4 in my first sem and the guilt hit me hard . During the last month I had to catch up with my much neglected studies and all I had done was a little bit of html and css, and barely scratched the surface of js( please don't judge me for this :) , I had to start somewhere < although I learned a little bit of C++ > ). BUT I WAS A HAPPY CUNT, and had no sign of lonelines. Now during this sem , I had made progress ( learn js with es6 syntax and still learning, did c++ and extended my knowledge ) . Currently I am working on my Vue full stack app ( along with express and some websocket library , TBD ) < yeh I learnt some backend too > , and increasing my knowledge of dsa using clrs. Although my productivity has increased manifolds but I know feel the need of closure. I am kinda happy with the fact that I know a lot of people around here ( thanks to my extroverted 1st semester ) but sometimes it hits me hard at night when I don't have a monitor to drown my eyes and thoughts in. I have increased my academic performance too but I need someone to share and express my feelings with. I could have made a girlfriend earlier but now most of them are taken and I have lost touch. But believe me, all I want is a companion to spend these lonely days and night ( not talking about as a friend ). Staying away from home isnt easy you know...m :(

KUDOS TO DEVRANT FOR DEVELOPING A COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN FEEL SAFE IN OUR NATURAL HABITAT. I COULDN'T HAVE EXPRESSED MY FEELINGS ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT IN A PERSONAL BLOG ( where no one would have read it )

PS1: I apologise if I sounded arrogant about any of my skill, I didn't mean that way. I ain't even that good, just kinda proud of myself a little for achieving something I couldn't have thought.

PS2: Any type of suggestions and help is much appreciated ( considering I am a college student who went into some serious development 4 months ago , I am pretty impressionable ;) )

PS3: Please don't confuse this with depression. I am HAPPY BUT LONELY

PS4: Is there a way so that I can change my username?

Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar

I looked at the SL Q&A today and I already feel brain-cells dying.

No one is safe when I hit a wall... Not even my best friends.

okay just found the package "sl" on linux.

I mistyped ls and my shell told me well you can have this command with the package "sl".

Looked what the package does and well now i have it installed and everytime i mistype ls from now on a SL (Steam Locomotive) runs across my terminal.

Microsoft Edge: "We support modern Web technologies."

If I ever deleted some of my rants (most likely one of the deleted ones will be the first one) it's because people from SL and IRL are starting to find me. Lol.

I'm not deleting anything yet tho.

Refactoring nested ifs.
I'm not a pro but I despise working with nested ifs. It's hard to debug and read.

If you cant chunk the if using method, i think you can use ifs like this:
If(){return}
If() {return}

Not like this:
If() {
If() {
If() {
}
}
}
😠😠😤🙅😢

I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

hello world in c ......

!rant
Wrote my first unit test. Strangely feels satisfying.

Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)

I'M SO MAD ABOUT THIS

Can one of the dev-senpais tell me stories of what using this was like?

!rant

When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..

DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"

Happy Star Wars day!

/. ---. \
|-----(. O. )-----|
\. ---. /

Found online
Found kinda funny

So there I was productivity coding away in my office since early in the morning it was about noon when my coworkers kept saying. " Hey have you seen how nice it is outside." "Wow it's really nice out there" and " hey you should really go outside and get some fresh air".

So I'm all ok, cool it's lunchtime I'll check it out. So I go outside and I'm out there for 30 seconds when a bee lands on my face and stings me just under my eye.

Ouch! WTF! No No No it is not nice outside at all. Infact it is painful outside.

so now the rest of my day is ruined all I can feel is my face throbbing and I can't think about anything anymore but my face in pain. Amazing how one little insect can ruin days of coding.

Don't listen to the muggles stay inside.

So I Bought this bio metric pad lock for my daughter. She excitedly tried to set it up without following the directions( they actually have good directions on line) first thing you do is set the "master print" she buggered that up setting her print. So when I got home I was thinking, no problem I'll just do a reset and then we cant start again.

NOPE !!! you only have one chance to set the master print! after that if you want to reset the thing you need to use the master print along with a physical key that comes with it.

What sort if Moron designs hardware / software that is unable to be reset. Imagine how much fun it would be if once you set your router admin password it was permanent unless you can long back in to change it. Yea nobody has ever forgotten a password.

Well they are about to learn a valuable financial lesson about how user friendly design will influence your bottom line. people (me) will just return the lock to the store where they bought it, and it will have to be shipped back to the factory and will be very expensive for them paying for all of the shipping to and from and resetting and repackaging of the locks and finally shipping again to another store. Meanwhile I'll keep getting new locks until at no cost until she gets it right.

poor design

Everybody still using Windows 7 is waking up to this this morning.

Thank you Microsoft for doing sales for us 😁

So I got a ring doorbell for my father in law. Of course I'm setting it up for them and their WiFi is not working, they lost the router password etc..

So Im in the middle of ... reset the router added new password new ssid new wep-key etc..

Mom in law is over my shoulder "wow you are really good at this technology stuff. You should get a job with a company".

I kid you not I have been married to her daughter for 21 years WTF 🤬

So I'm like I do work for a company. My company and I get paid much more than anyone else would pay me. That how I could take your daughter and our kids to Hawaii for vacation.😠

Welp. My door fell on my desk and broke it so there goes me coding.

Full HD 27' monitor 😍😍😍 when you can divide your screen into two halves easily and there's no need to do Alt+tab

Can I claim Spotify on expenses?

Real question tho. How do y'all actually put stickers directly on your laptop??
Like. For me that's some serious level of commitment. I always want to but I worry I'll hate it eventually and removing it would suck and scar

I can't even put stickers on the cases 😭😭 but like. Seeing a fresh new looking body when you take everything off is always soo soothing to me

Ok so I'm releasing (in about two weeks) a massive project that my self and other talented people have been working on for about 2 years.

I feel like I want to puke all the time now. God I hope it is okay. 🤢

I'll let you all know what it is if all goes well so I'm not embarrassed if it does not

Wish me luck😐

When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(

Welp. That was fun.

Just had an interview I wasn't even expecting. Basically the company emailed me saying that the role has been filled and as such the interview has been canceled.

And I'm like ok. Thanks for letting me know.

Then at literally the same time someone sent me a skype request asking me if I'm ready.

I get another email saying they're sorry about the inconvenience and hope my front end interview goes well... like. Wtf.

Why didn't they specify which? And why wait so long ffs.

I had two interviews with them. They stood me up on the last one and i emailed and never heard back.

So now I just had the most awkward interview in my life.

I was so rattled I forgot the answer to a simple af question. What's a JavaScript closure.

I wanna cry but it was so bad I wanna laugh

In case you and your friend are bored,
Here's how to have fun :
0)Have Linux installed
1)Grab as many monitors as possible me( and my friends connected 4)
2)Open a shell
3)Drag it all the way across all your screens width (basically open a terminal of width 4 screens in my case)
4)Run "sl"

Profit.

I can't really show how it looked like because it's a long video and can't attach here
Do try it out though.

Naming variables with meaningful names

Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.

Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!

Received my stress ball just in time to sit over the fried PSU.

My laptop's back is rugged and rough so I can't apply any sticker...
Imagine the horrorrrrrr

Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this

(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)

So I had an interview. Went well. But apparently while they liked me I didn't show passion for development.

Any tips on how to that? Cause like... I like it and all but who really can show passion for working for someone else.

Tips please. Or job opportunities!!!

When you run into your ex/visit your parents that thought you were wasting your life.

Oh my God. Did any of you catch Sundar from Google being grilled by Congress yesterday?

It is so embarrassing watching congressman who think they know technology ask questions did somebody who actually is technically proficient. you would think they would have hired somebody at least to educate them first before looking like an ass on TV.

It look like I asked my janitor to interview our next developer.

So funny though over his left shoulder there's a guy that looks like Sir topham hatt from Monopoly. Hahahahahahh not kidding black top hat and big white mustache.

Am I a developer or a professional Googler?

I've found a new love and her name is Ruby on rails

If only.

Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this

Dumb ass

Accurate...

First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.

...cry.

"The role: You will be designing and building responsive emails on a daily basis using HTML5/ CSS3/JavaScript"

Errrrrrrmmmm...

So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?

What the hell! Every time someone comes over to my desk and stands behind me my brain disengages from my fingers an I start misspelling and doing wrong commands etc..

Just one more reason everyone should have private office.

When you want only 10 rows of query result.
Mysql: Select top 10 * from foo.... 😁
Sql server: select top 10 * from foo.. 😁
PostgreSQL: select * from foo limit 10.. 😁

Oracle: select * from foo FETCH NEXT/FIRST 10 ROWS ONLY. 🌚

Oracle, are you trying to be more expressive/verbose because if that's the case then your understanding of verbosity is fucked up just like your understanding of clean-coding, user experience, open source, productivity...
Etc.

...I think. THINK. That I might have indeed spent too much time in front of the computer...

Ya boi got a python interview today.

....when did I post that I was learning python again? 😭😭😂

Before covid 19 I was already working from home. But now I feel that the media makes it sound as if we have 40hours a day. Get more hobbies, practice them all, at the same time! Pfff

What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.

Sometimes I begin to think about life in general. Then I remember I can do `sl` across 3 monitors

Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅

Cute or not

Bruhhh

Okay. Is there really anyone who wouldn't get this

My good old workstation #workstation #workhours #screensavers #dcfanboy

I have a big progress / update meeting to lead my team tomorrow.

Our investor has "ideas" on features and things that will significantly change the information we have to include in our code.

We are suppose to launch Jan,1 2019

He says I'll Call you tonight to give you the details so you will be ready for tomorrows meeting. .........
............
...........
yep never calls.
Fucking Awesome! can't wait to tell my team tomorrow. "glad you all came in today, looks like we have to change somethings I'm just not sure what yet."

Maybe I'll order pizza and beer to the office and we will all play video games until he shows up. and say if you aren't going to take this seriously why should we.

Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!

Started a new job last week. Pays a tad below average for position, but i get training time and budget for anything i want.
So far i have had few days of company introduction, and now a week for training courses related to position.
I have not seen any code yet, brought no value in, just joined.
Massive green flag to me.

Five interviews and challenges later and I’m told they won’t be going further with me.
Over month of my life. Finally thought this was the one. But oh well. Depression.

I officially quit being a dev.

It’s been rad y’all.

I can't tell you how many hours have been lost because I have accidently clicked and dragged a file in to some random spot in the solution explorer!

Passed a code test for once and invited to interview with engineers.

I’m nervous yet proud. Any tips? It’s the first time I’ve reached this point

Happiness, job satisfaction and mental stability.... we need that in the next patch

Fml I need a job

I kno my strengths

i love when they ask you to upload your cv and turn it into an incoherent mess.

thanks.

An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.

My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂

Do people really struggle with CSS?

I thought it was just design and ideas but is it actual CSS y’all struggle with?

Not judging. Just asking to be sure

Found some old friends tonight going through old boxes.

Ya bois learning python.

It finally came! Super excited.
Yes it takes amazing pictures even in the dark and the radar is super cool. Can't wait to dig into what I can do with the radar.

What i think

mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"

Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.

Late I know. But I just thought of it.

Scary sysadmin is scary

1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)

WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it

When you know your product sucks and even you won't support it. Too bad for those two windows phone users left in the world.

Working on a Project. Forced to use xaml I hate xaml. C# is so much more efficient/ easier. Now at least I have an excuse
. 😤

It took me putting on my glasses to make sure these pixels were real and not just blind ass not seeing shit.

Company i work for just posted updated pay rates.
It's good. They went from lower end of spectrum to a little above the average in terms of pay, and benefits stay the same - solid.

*gets banned from asking questions on stack overflow*

Yup. Seems about right.

Tbh it was time 😭

To those following the saga so far...

ya boi just had his followup python interview.

YIKES. Like, i aint even sure if it went bad or not.
Wish me luck.

Corey Schafer! Bless me!!!

Is it only me, or is reducing production code size by #ifdef'ing sh*t out sexy as F?

I NEED A JOB

Finally, fucking finally I fixed a damn bug that seems to be freaking popular on asus machines. This damn bug captures the fn keys needed to regulate the screen brightness.

All tools that display your keypresses didn't find them at all and I had a pretty tough time find the source of problem.

You can create as many arch memes as you want but you cannot deny that the they are truly MVPs imo.

Today I also:
* Fixed and refactored a bit of code
* added shortcuts for volume and keyboard backlight control
* Installed lots of fonts
* Got Steam to run
* Found out the meaning behind the Arch linux
* Felt disgusting using windows 10. Learned that 10 stands for the number of minuts before I must vomit 🤢
* Learned a bunch of linux stuff

But most importantly
*installed sl

Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.

For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?

And what challenges/reactions did you face?

This Monday I start my first job as a junior web developer and a coworker already my first two hours will be free time, don't know how to feel 😓

Not leaning on unit tests. I usually write them after testing my code manually, and lose time for testing feature by hand.

Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?

I just hate them so much.

Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.

Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.

Anyone know small-medium companies hiring front end devs around the eu?

Or any recruiters with a soul?

React btw. Thanks.

Why yes. This is a last resort. Thanks for noticing/criticizing

!rant
After 4 - 5 months of learning webD, I am trying to build my first fullstack web application (simple chat one ).

My stack :
FRONTEND:
Vue.js + Materialize

Backend:
Express ( handling routes )
Mongoose/MongoDB ( Database )
Socket.io ( web sockets for real time connection )
JWT

Had dreamt of this 2 months ago where I built a basic front end using html and css, and now porting it to Vue is like a breeze.

Wish me luck and let's hope it doesnot become one of the unfinished projects. ( My university semester exams are coming up , would have to complete this as fast as possible ). I am also learning DSA + STL and aim to learn basic python syntax before holidays so that I can focus my time on ML during them. It's so fucking overloaded that I have my doubts ::((

So what exactly is it like working as a developer?

I'm still in the learning phase but I can't seem to picture what exactly it is you'll be doing daily if you get hired.

Is it like constant coding? But like, the site is already made and is huge.

Or is it like making new stuff? But then like, there's already a big company site.

It's what I wanna do but I honestly can't imagine how it will work different from doing it for yourself

React on Rails can go fuck itself

Happened to know this devRant app from a friend. And these community of developers are lit ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

After working with a coworker on some odd issues, I finally decided to check on the actual ticket he needed assistance with.

From now on, we will optimize our HTML for aesthetic appeal in Chrome's dev tools. display:none is verboten.

Sometimes I wonder if I've had a stroke or if I've died and am in purgatory.

Why the hell does that happen?

Now... I understand 2FA is to make things more secure, and I do appreciate it. BUT can we please work out a damn solution for people who work in an agency for other corporates which only have one shared account across the agency that bundles one phone number or mobile app.

What if people are on leave or sick? I need stupid 2FA to be able to login/work. uhhhhhhh.....

Can we all just combine side projects/help each other and get them all done?

I keep posting that I need job and I appreciate the feedback but I feel just saying that makes it seem like I'm not trying.

Like. I legit don't know. Could it be my cv that's a dud? Thinking of paying a resume writing thing

Cause I'm actually trying hard af to learn new stuff as well keep doing what I'm good at.

I got one interview in a year and even then they didn't gimme the chance to show tech side. It's soo tilting.

I'm actually competent though inexperienced I think.

Any advice or questions please. I legit need to sort this out this year. Like its very important that I do.

Help.

Trying the look on my phone

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

so i just realised my stack overflow ban came after less than 10 questions in total...

how dumb am i exactly??? man’s got real questions to ask now

Java can just bring out the worst in some people.....

010010010110011000100000011110010110111101110101001000000111010101110011011001010110010000100000011000010010000001110100011011110110111101101100001000000111010001101111001000000110001101101111011011100111011001100101011100100111010000100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000010111001001100101001000000110110001100001011110100111100100100000011100000110100101100101011000110110010100100000011011110110011000100000011100110110100001101001011101000010000000101000011010100111010101110011011101000010000001101100011010010110101101100101001000000110110101100101001000000111100001000100001000000000110100001010010010010110011000100000011011100110111101110100001000000010100001110111011010010110001101101000001000000110100101110011001000000110100101101101011100000110111101110011011100110110100101100010011011000110010100100000011000110110000101110101011100110110010100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011100110010000001110100011011110110111100100000011011000110111101101110011001110010100100100000011011100110100101100011011001010010000001110111011011110111001001101011

Ok so I'm am a black end kind of guy and have had to deal with making our site again and again and again and fu#@ing again.

Who the hell thought up using SVG icons. My first look at it today and I'm not sure if I hate it or love it. Any thoughts?

How many times does Xcode need to download!????

Anybody else get that massive windows 10 update today that fucking wipes a ton of your settings. Desktop image gone, privacy settings turned back, firewall settings reset.

Fuck I really need visual studios for Linux.

When vim opens accidentally

Sighhhhhh.
SIGHHHHHH.
been looking for days now and can’t still figure out how to sort with redux.

Can someone just teach me this? I’m starting to feel “special”

Working as an cooperative student in an big IT company. I shall continue the work of another student (Something in Frontend Visualization) for their Sharepoint sites.
The other student wrote a fucking 40 page university evaluation (requirements, first architecture and sl on) about the concept of this project and did not have the time to implement it.

But instead of giving me this research paper, my advisors say “Be creative and don’t use this work. Do it by your own.”
wtf? Why has this student even done all of this work and why do I have to waste many hours in order to begin everything from day zero??

How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭

I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere

What programming language did you study in high school? In my country they teach us Pascal for what ever reason, me coming from c++ I can t support it

I love coding on vacation. We sometimes take long flights like 5hrs an then another 5 hrs. I get so much done in flight without the distraction of phone calls or the internet (YouTube).

I’m always tired all the time. Depression and what not but today I am TIRED

Had an interview that requires vanilla javascript but I suck at algos even tho I was getting it done till time ran out. We gelled tho so I hope they see potential and move to next round.

But the good news is. I had a follow up interview based on a challenge. It’s the second I’ve ever had and I did well this time.
So much so that they’re booking another interview for tomorrow.
So I’m done with the technical portions of the process.
This is the first time I’ve gotten this far and I’m so happy. I’m hoping really that this is the one cause I doubt I have the energy and will power to keep going though the processes.

I’m so excited. It’s as if all my work is slowly showing and I’m getting closer and closer

Wish me luck guys. Hopefully I ace it as I come across well In General Chats.

This is my last application. If it doesn’t work I think I’m done with dev life and job hunt.

Fingers crossed I’ve found the one

When you accidentally send a screenshot of a chat to the person him/herself. Lot of shitload to get out off .. FYI I blocked the person. Would have to deal with it 1.5 months later when I actually meet her after vacations. I need luck :(

When debugging, why oh why do I forget that multiple browser consoles can be open and then get frustrated when refreshing the tab doesn't show my changes?!

Press X to JSON

No better way to start a weekend than with a shit show of an interview on a Friday morning

No one on stack overflow can answer my question and I wanna cry

Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.

Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.

Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭

So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂

Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?

I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭

Every time I check my old codes i start insulting my self..... How the fuck was i that stupid..... Still Stupid tho but i m progressing :D

I m learning to code by myself without any instructor :').... I wanna use unreal engine but i forgot how to code with cpp since i m only using C# now.. made winform apps and installing xamarin to learn about cross platform devloppment :)

All i ever want!

The hotel I'm staying at only has mini toilet paper that I have had to call for an embarrassing number of times yet they're tryna judge me for wanting pasta at 3 am???

Like, we've passed that stage. I feel no shame anymore!!

"feel free to choose which ever size pixel you prefer because you get the same great experience on both we don't set aside better features for the larger device"
-Google

Complaints about how FE rendering is so slow when BE apis take forever to return. Working on performance projects and feel like you've done nothing at all at the end of each day.

I think I'm a dev.... sigh.

After I quit I didn't do it but out of all my interests and hobbies this one kept bugging me. So yeahhhhhh. I'm a dev.

Speaking of. Got bored and finally made a portfolio website. It's not great but people were asking for a link to my cV. So let me know what you think and I can get around to adjusting.

It's

Www.almxnames.com

Is JavaScript actually useless on its own??

It's bad enough that Facebook videos in my country have ads but some cunt actually had the genius idea to make the tagline for their ad "Un-skippable quality"

Not sure I can even be mad at how trolly that is 😭😂