Our designer (and frontender) just saved my ass big time. Had to do a tiny project involving design and frontend so I gave it a try and it looked like crap, deadline in a week. The designer made the most beautiful thing in like two days.

Kudos to all designers for doing what they're good at and ensuring that we, backenders (and cyber security people for that matter), can do our thing without having to worry about knowing how to design stuff and create interfaces because we might hate doing that and sometimes just really suck at it.

Kudos designer guys/girls!

This one's for the #codergurlz! ☺️

I challenged my girlfriend (and myself) for the FizzBuzz thingy. I did it in js (because I suck at js) and she in Java. I never saw such a way to write FizzBuzz. Turns out she forgot there is a thing called modulo operator.

I know there are more elegant ways to solve it! Feel free to post your favorites.

In the mountains with my family. Thought it would suck without devving but nope. Enjoying nature.

sudo
Suck it up 'n do as Ordered
:D 3:)

I suck at maths. Hard. But i can still write proper code. There, i said it.

SUCK IT, JIN-YANG

I love @Letmecode.
My favorite lines from him
"As useful as Anne Frank's drum kit"
"Between shooting heroine and selling his body for it"
"7 ways to suck your dog off without waking it up."
Gold! Elegance!

Me: Open terminal on current folder
Mac: No.
Me: Copy path of current folder
Mac: No.
Me: Delete this desktop icon (Delete key)
Mac: No.
Me: Lets move this icon to trash
Mac: Alrighty then, delete application.

Man i will have a hard time getting used to this, Windows had its cons but these small things made my life easier.

Programming on the privacy website together with 404response, this is awesome!

It's great to have someone who's good at frontend while you suck balls at it so that I can fully focus on the backend :D. (ewpratten if you still want to you can join 404response, he can explain you everything he's doing and how you can help)

Suck it up and learn.

The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).

For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.

Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.

IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).

Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).

People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.

That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.

Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

FUCK THIS! im going home, and the client can suck it

Two nginx config files for two different sites.

Both exactly the same except for the fastcgi location, document root and virtual host.

THE MOTHERFUCKING GET VALUES DOESN'T REWRITE PROPERLY WITH ONE OF THEM BUT IT WORKS PER-FUCKING-FECTLY WITH THE OTHER ONE.

GO SUCK A COCK NGINX. AND NO I'M NOT SWITCHING TO APACHE.

Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....

Never spoke to him again.

VBA is not the language of choice for many of you. But in a big non-software company, Excel is tool numero uno, and VBA saves so much time. Almost nobody bothers to learn it, which drives me nuts already, but those who learn it, suck.
Wrote a beautiful VBA script with SQL inside to fill in excelsheets automatically.

Why the living fucks would someone go in the code and alter it? Why do you ignorant idiot with almost no excel and vba knowledge alter the range of the for loop and delete a few lines.
After that completely knocked out the file, I got a call for help. "¡Your code broke!"

These useless morons.

Yes. I am one of those guys. After desktop hits ~1gb of b/s and 100+ files... yeah... I do this. I am not ashamed of it. I am living the life. I am free of clutter. I suck.

Suck it, you fucks. Here is my Bulgarian epicenter on the Black Sea.

*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.

JavaScript says to Objective-C, "You suck!"
It doesn't react.

This is my Research Purpose VM, It had been lying around unused for too long.
P.S. I know my specs suck actually

And once again:
18:00: *writing a Mandelbrot algo in glsl for the GPU*
19:00: "This should be working now..."
22:00: "why isn't it working??!"
22:30: "Oh my uniform vectors become zero when they arrive on the GPU"
01:00: "Oh. I uploaded them as matrices..."

I wasted about 4 fucking hours because I suck dick.

Setup Slack integration with SQL Server to feed realtime reports to channels....the company estimated this would take 1 week, I did it in 1 hour. Boom. Suck it.

So my classmate just decided to write "printf("Suck my balls I dont remember how to do this);" in a programming exam and forgot to delete it before handing it in.

Well... after saying "sorry" like a hundred times the teacher accepted his apology.

That brief moment in life when you realize no one actually cares about half the stuff you say.
Man does it suck to be depressed.

"Make us a one-page website for our new company!"

I build the site, to their exact specifications and show it to them

"There's only one page"
"You only asked for one page."
"No, we didn't"
I show them the email they sent me, asking for a one-page site
"Wow, you suck, we are finding another developer!"

Boss: "How much time do you get this bug fixed?"
Me: "Give me 20 minutes"
*4 hours later*
Me: "fixed is in the repository"
Boss: "You're getting to much time to do your assignments"
Me: *Damn it*

I suck doing estimates 😥

There's a few people in here who are clearly mentally ill and using devrant instead of getting help.

I just want to say thank you to those individuals for making this place what it is! This place would suck without you.

!rant
Is it just me or programmers do suck at documentation?

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
What do you code, anyway?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, JAVA, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
JAVA? Holy dogshit! Only steers and queers code in Java!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dick?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, NO, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO'D WRITE LEGACY CODE AND NOT HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO WRITE ANY COMMENTS.

Not really a dev habit, but a habit many devs have.
My beyond fucked up sleep schedule.
SLEEP CAN
SUCK
MY
ASS

I've woken up at 8 and went to sleep at 12 for two days, and I'm beyond happy with the purely accidental progress I've made, really hope to not fuck it up this time like always.

When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.

My life suck tonight.

Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.

I just realized that my fucking boss managed to put a back end dev to do front end and a front end dev to make an api.

So me and the front end dev are constantly asking each other stuff instead of doing the fucking job properly because it isn't the subject that we like/spend our free time learning.

Although I understand that its good to have some "full stack" knowledge I also understand that my ui/ux is gonna suck while his api is gonna suck :)

Me:
* I wanna make a website
* I'm good at backend
* I suck at frontend

Friend:
* I wanna make a website
* I suck at backend
* I'm good at frontend

Initial though: Match made in heaven
Now: FFS Wordpress is not the kind of frontend I had in mind.

git commit suicide.txt -m "It was a nice thought before it was put into action"

Today is good, so far.

Husband graduates and promotes and my younger brother made it to Texas safely this morning.

Oh, and I'm out of the office 😄

I hate it when people dislike things because it’s cool.

“PHP is terrible,” they say.

Yeah! If it was any good then most websites on the Internet would be coded in it... oh wait.

“Nickelback suck,” they say.

Of course. That’s why they’ve never been able to make any money off their “terrible” music. Oops. Wrong again.

What other things are “cool” to hate just because people say so?

I'm a paid IT professional and I buy courses from udemy. It's because I suck.

HAPPY NEW FUCKING YEAR BECAUSE IT WILL SUCK WAY MORE THAN THE LAST ONE AND CAN WE PLEASE JUST FUCKING STOP CELEBRATING AND GET BACK TO WRITING FUCKING RANTS AGAIN?! BECAUSE I WILL FUCKING DO!

Why are people on StackOverflow so fucking harsh? I'm a newbie programmer so I'm sorry if I didn't word my question to your specific liking, but you don't have to down vote it because you don't like it or you feel it's beneath you. Maybe give some pointers (without jumping down my throat) so that I'll get better instead of getting me closer to being banned from asking questions. I see other questions that I think suck, but no down votes!

I like being self taught because I can work at my own pace and try different languages to see what interests me most. But so many of these tutorials are just shit. Or the content is good and the instructor is shit. I may need to just suck it up and go to Uni, but I am 19 and enjoy my time working and my free time. I think it's time for me to grow up soon though.

Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"

Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"

If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.

Nearly, nearly ready to deploy self-hosted maps, fucking awesome!

Aaaand now comes the goddamn styling since these will be vector tiles..

I fucking hate designing/styling and I fucking suck at it too. 10 attempts which all pretty much look like shit.

Fucking great.

"You should record video tutorials of how to do stuff", people say to me.

#1 - I suck on camera. I have a really annoying nasally voice that I just can't stand to hear in my own head, let alone on video.
#2 - I look like every stupid a--hole fat old ugly white guy people love to hate. Nobody wants to see that.
#3 - I suck at remembering what the f$$# I was going to say to begin the video, to show the thing I was going to show, and how to end it without sounding like a complete #@#%@# moron.
#4 - %@%$#@ QuickTime! And any other video screen recording software that NEVER $%#@#$% WORKS for me!! I'll be in the middle of a very complex process I'm demonstrating and BAM! The whole recording crashes. Six takes and six more crashes later and I'm @#%#@# done with trying to do this #@$@#%.

Screenshots and text it is and always will be.

I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.

Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞

And so I have ranted earlier about how a panelist during my thesis defense told me that my algorithm is not an algorithm because it needs mathematical equations to be called an algorithm. I also told you guys that I facepalmed during the course of the interrogation.

Now I failed my thesis because I facepalmed. I quit school because of that but now I'm a better career person than him. I already started my freelance team and earning more than double his salary and he's still suck at being a low quality professor.

The amount of elitism you see inside of the dev community is the reason why I consider changing careers.

No, It don't hurt my feelings. I just don't want to surround myself from sexually frustrated loosers that think that getting cool points on the internet over hating and shitting over other's likes and dislikes means something.

It sucks balls and I smell the areas to be of dried cum and Cheetos.

Fuck man, being born ugly, anti-charismatic and weird must suck big balls

//rant
When you make a mobile game and hope it gets downloads but you suck at marketing.. fml

When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!

C++ errors in a nutshell

(The pics is from my college computer lab where it takes us forever to get a proper output )

(Maybe it's we who suck) xD

Fuck Android Oreo and everyone who thought that the following ideas are useful:
- xy app is running in the background notification, which can't be disabled
- xy app is overlaying other apps, click here if you wish to disable it. But you can't disable the notification, you can only disable the app.
- the un-zeroable data limit. It can't be disabled, you can only set it to a retarded high number to avoid annoying notifications

Go suck a veiny one Android devs. Fucking cunt faces.

In the next 40 years devRant will be non-existential because developers wont be there anymore, you know why?
AI takes over the world.. writes its own code and build new products.
Suck it.
Signing off
- Elon Musk

(personally, I love this guy)

Thank you VERY MUCH for wasting my life, ruining my new career and destroying my family. It hasn't been 24 hours from joining devRant and I am already addicted. Checking my phone every 5 minutes or so. Is this some kind of a conspiracy to wipe out weak and liable to procrastination devs? To suck them/me to a big, colorful fluffy garden of instant gratification?
Are you HAPPY!!!???

I feel JS has taken over...

The good.

Easy to learn, thus everyone knows it

The bad.

Everyone knows it, so npm has disgusting code that's used in prod.

Npm itself is still an unstable mess at times.

No one knows what it is to be a good programmer .

Dozens of frameworks every year since everyone thinks they can make it a bit better.

Classes still suck , no interfaces !

So I need to "fix" a false-positive security warning (mass-assignment of a foreign key). Do I "fix" it by...

A) Setting it manually and double-saving the object?
B) Rewriting the mass-assignment so the linter doesn't realize what I'm doing?

Both options suck.
But security is going to complain if I don't do it.

Guess what?
I'm not doing it.

SMD you ducks.

“I suck as a coder. I have no business writing a single function. None of what I’m doing is working. I should be fired and nobody should ever hire me again.”

*Remembers to clear caches and it works right the first time*

“I’m a pretty great coder.”

I had to make an account for my kid's school.

Last night I start. I put in a username, then it has a quality meter for the password. I put one in and it goes to like 90%. Ok, fine. I submit and...

Validation error on the username field. Message? [object Object].

Try all different kinds of username: no numbers, all caps, etc. But no luck so I give up.

Today I try again and get stuck again. Then I think... "Maybe the devs suck worse than I think..."

I change the password so that it's rated 100% and submit... Success.

Fucking devs.

Ask yourself a couple of simple questions:
Do you like to code?
Do you like to learn new things and improve?
Do you like to solve problems and spend hours on a single detail until it finally works?

If your answers contain a "no", then development is probably not for you. You will hate it and you will suck at it. And you will make lifes of devs who actually love it miserable. So do something else.

Real question tho. How do y'all actually put stickers directly on your laptop??
Like. For me that's some serious level of commitment. I always want to but I worry I'll hate it eventually and removing it would suck and scar

I can't even put stickers on the cases 😭😭 but like. Seeing a fresh new looking body when you take everything off is always soo soothing to me

Someone (QCat) on devRant offered me to be his contact, it ended up with him teaching me a HUGE lot of stuff, enabling me to now code an operating system alongside him (o and I learned maths, formalism, biology, chemistry, game dev, REAL C++, drawing [I still suck at all of them though] )

So yea, thats it from my side

After all these years in IT a coke bottle made me realize I fkin suck in math

oh, wait....

Fucking non technical managers and their shitty clients to whom they suck their tiny weiners need to realise that I cannot reorder elements every 10 minutes to the shape of their fart comming out of their ass, test it, deploy it, trigger webhook, clear cloudflare cache, and meanwhile be sure that it's written in quality manner for future upkeep with commits that have sense.Hope deadline driven development dies in hell where it belongs

New opportunity coming to the people who try. Got this opportunity, i better not suck at it. Give it regular time everyday to earn atleast some title before my degree.

My classmates are wining, because they suck at programming-tests but don't even try to learn it.
Big AF facepalm!

Got my first soldering project working. Looks trash and horribly done but it does power the RPI from my 3d printers power supply using a buck converter to drop the voltage

Thankfully I got 2 pack of the usb c breakout boards. The first attempt is horribly mangled 😅😅😅 did i mention i suck. Lol

It must really suck to be a malware dev... "Oh look, the recent changes i made to my cryptomalware made it work! Sadly project file are encrypted too. Lets start over."

Fuck it.

If Torvalds completely steps down and shit starts to absolutely suck in our beloved kernel then it might be high time to start paying close attention to Minix or Hurd :P options peeps. Options are good.

You know what really pisses me off?

Arrogant/Condescending people doing rookie mistakes.

If you are like that but delivers I suck it up and let it go, but if you don't? Lol... Be ready for the shitstorm.

To the cunts who use single character aliases for their SQL queries table joins... Suck my throbbing dick till you choke on it and die....

That's all... back to work

How to get me to never respond to your email: make the subject line say "Salesforce ninjaneer wanted!!!"

First of all I don't do salesforce and second ninjaneer is not a word. I hate when people say code ninja or code warrior or any of those other crap phrases. I'm a software developer. Respect that or suck it.

Rapid firing some mini rants.

Fuck people that go on vacation and post 100 pictures of it. Chill out fam. I can guarantee you that 95% of your followers don't give a shit. Keep the posts minimal; 3-5 is ideal with 5-7 being acceptable.

People that post shit like r/whooosh in the comments on posts can suck a dick. That's not necessary asshats.

Why the fuck do the Android versions of every major app suck ass? Like c'mon man. It's the most widely used mobile OS. Take Apple's dick out your ass and fix this garbage. (I get that supporting the cheap ass devices that never get OS updates is one thing, but ffs im using a Pixel. Get your shit together.)

This TED talk was brought to you by Stuxnet. Thanks for coming.

Hey it finally reloaded the content.
Fuck you ckeditor you suck

Shower thoughts:

Golf may be the perfect Dev sport.

Arguments for:

- Takes a relative degree of either skill or patience, usually both
- most people suck at it
- you need to practice
- alcohol
- haters gon hate

Arguments against:

- Takes a relative degree of either skill or patience, usually both
- most people suck at it
- you need to practice
- alcohol
- haters gon hate
- you have to be outside

Also applies to musicianship, I guess.

If I were the world dictator I would forbid JavaScript in web pages for a month, to teach shitty web developers a lesson.

Is it normal that to submit a form I have to use the developer console!? For fuck sake, I don't give a shit about your fancy scripts that only god knows what they're supposed to do. A simple <form> with an <input type="submit"> would do the job, holy fuck!

I'm so tired of those fucking broken scripts. Don't write JavaScript if you suck at it!

So management posted an article "10 signs you suck at your job" in the lunch room. It's pretty passive-aggressive; I wish I could find the link to it somewhere to post here.

Would you post the similar article "10 signs you're not management material" in there as well?

Lol I suck. Learnt coding without a degree in it, enough to be functional. Got an internship at a good place. Made code that worked but didn’t know enough on documenting and testing and can’t give enough time anymore on it to make it reproducible.Actually joined a CS program this fall!

devRant, lets face it.. our tags here suck just as hard as our commit messages. Fuck us all!

WhatsApp devs suck so bad.. they won't let me use it in Chromium 65+ because "It works with Google Chrome 36+".

Good job once again fuckwits.

Started to redesign my wifes website into grid-layout with SASS. It is fun and I save a lot of markup HTML.
I try to keep the green theme, but I realy suck at design... I just have no eye for colors. I rather would keep everything white and grey...

Why even is Microsoft Teams?

Why does it suck so bad? Why is it a memory hog? Why does the ELECTRON desktop app not have native ARM64 support neither on Windows nor macOS? Why is it even an Electron app? Why the web version does not work with Safari (then again, barely anything more complex than my portfolio site works on Safari)? Why is the UI from 2016? Why is it preinstalled with Windows 11? Why the pre-installed Windows 11 version is a completely different entity? Why the preinstalled Windows 11 version does not work with school/work version of Teams calls?

Fucking teams.

It's shit, it's buggy, it's confusing, threaded conversations suck when there are multiple ones going on because stuff appears out of order and is easily missed.

I hate it with a passion.

Have 3 projects due in a week, two of which are partner projects. One of them has 6 other members in the group and I've only met 5 of them, one of them being two days ago for the first time. The other member has not replied to any emails from any of us, and we've had this project for three weeks now. Either do your homework or get the fuck out. We are also suppose to present it in class for our final... Group projects in college suck

A couple weeks ago I told a now former client that I just "fired" that I had no remaining invoices to send them. Today I discovered a couple of invoices from a couple months ago that it appears they'd not yet paid. This is why I need to quit trying to run a business and just be an employee again. I suck at accounting.

This whole programming profession sucks! Programmers suck! Managers suck! Companies suck! Products suck!

Why is it so hard to organize your stupid code at least a bit?! No, it’s not deadlines, just write a block of code and give it a meaningful name, a function, a method, a comment, so many options, so little fucks given. Give things a meaningful name instead of whatever came to your mind that moment. There’s no excuse! No, just leave it to the next guy, and he’ll leave his trash for another one. And then we complain and make memes about it. Fuck you all!

There’s no purpose or vision of products, managers sweep problems under a rug, executives do whatever they do, as long as some money is pouring in, just keep pedaling semi-mindlessly. Spin the wheel you little hamsters until you drop, there’s enough hamsters out there.

It’s just a clusterfuck of small, selfish interests and egos, a mud of meaningless and unnecessary problems that need not be there.

It’s not the workload, it’s the stress! The stress of bullshit, and constant problems that can be avoided if everyone did their job at least half-professionally. Not just programmers, everyone!

fdisk, cfdisk, diskpart and other tools CAN SUCK MY DICK.

I needed to restore my raspberry pi microsd from 200ish MB back to 16 GB and could find NO WAY of restoring it from my pc. maybe there is some ajbd -asdkasd -adkahdh IUYGFG_&38726283746 sdkfjksjf command that does that but I don't give a shit.

I plugged it into my camera instead. One second and my microsd was restored.

Canon doesn't care about your fancy partitions and other shit, it's just fucking blasting, it is like IN YO FACE. I love it.

I do not usually shit on operating systems or participate on hate discussions about tech and what not.

But boy, Windows 11 does fucking suck and it is giving me Vista vibes regarding how much I fucking hate it. And no, unfortunately I cannot change this PC to Linux (as I have before with other work computers) since I need Windows for it.

That happiness after you are so close to open the closest window and throw the pc, but you manage to fix the problem.

FUCK YOU GRUB I WON!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!

That one fucking time my text editor so damn high, that it choose to encode my file utf-8 BOM.
I was using Notepad++ because I thought it would just provide a good syntax highlighting, without stabbing me in the back

Seemingly nothing wrong with the code, but it took me, a friend and two teacher almost half an hour to figure out why the css simply wasn't work, even though it was clearly used and worker as intended when embeded in the file.

This was some years ago, so please don't judge me for my editor of choice at that time

Other than that, i simply suck at css and gladly use css frameworks 😅

@$&#! Grrrr... FACEBOOK API SUCK, A FUCKING CATASTROPHE, TEN POUNDS OF SHIT IN A FIVE POUND BAG... !#&$@

That's it, thanks for listening, i'm out. 🙃

Great week, been super productive and very happy about.

*wild junior boss appears*

"You should have done it differently! You didn't know it and it's your fault for not asking me about stuff you didn't know existet. I often screw things up and blame others, but i made the boss like me so it's okay. And since i lost my spine some time ago, i will now go suck my own dick and feel awesome . "

Not sure that is exactly what he said, but he meant it.

Why the fuck do Synaptic touchpad drivers suck so much? Seriously, it already crashed my laptop...
And it likes to reverse scroll direction randomly, which is really annoying.

Does anyone know good tools to use for designing a site? Like I'm good a developing but I suck when it comes to designing :/

I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.

-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"

There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.

Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.

Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.

If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.

so... not really a rant because i'm happy to be in the long-term zenlike state where i don't really give a fuck about anything anymore, but...

so today's my birthday (thanks in advance for all the semi-mandatory "cheers" reactions and such)

the agency i do temp jobs through sends money weekly (for the one week back) (which is the main and only reason i use them). they arrive at friday 12:25, so that's when i know to go "check" by withdrawing it, and it's also awesome because it's the best time to provide funds to reward myself (by booze/weed) at the end of the week.

last week, nothing came in. i called them and learned it was due to the contact person in the company i did job in being too late on sending the agency list of people who showed up at the work, i was told it's gonna arrive one week later together with the proper payment for the week-1,so effectively i was one week without any money (literally), but on the next week double was going to arrive, which is nice.

that next week of double was now. i found out that no double arrived, only single-value payment. i called them to ask why.
i was told that what arrived was the late payment, and the dude in company was again late with sending the presence list, so the other payment, for the proper week's work, will be a week late again.

so... that kinda ruined my financial planning tor tge week that's going to happen.

i guess my point (if i have any) is... funny how when someone fucks up, there's nobody for me to be angry at and hold responsible in any way, but when i have delays in my work due to delays upstream, nobody gives a shit about my excuses and it's my fault and i should have compensated, it was my responsibility and duty, and me not doing it (to my own detriment, for someone else) is me failing.

funny how the subjective dynamics of the world always somehow works out in a way where everyone else fucks up and i either have to suck it up and be okay with it otherwise i'm a selfish unreliable entitled asshole, or suck it up and extinguish their fire for them, otherwise i'm a selfish unreliable entitled asshole XD

anyone else noticed this in their life?
how does it work? what is the factor that decides whether you're in the "suck it up" class or the "fuck it, someone else will suck it up" class?

doesn't seem to (just) be the money(flow), i've seen this thing happen even in situations where the money/client dynamics were flowing the opposite way to what would be natural for the shit fall direction.

I've seen several rants on here about poor documentation on great libraries. Well I just spent 9 hours in a car today and I realized that even the ones that have great documentation absolutely SUCK at being mobile friendly. I'm no web developer but how freaking hard is it to optimize your stupid website for small screens??? There are a million frameworks out there you can choose from PLUS it's almost entirely text so it can't be that hard!! I have to zoom in about 300% to be able to read it, then I have to scroll back and forth because it no longer fits on the screen.

Note to self: if you have a tight deadline and need to rush a website / web app, use SASS because you're going to end up with 800+ lines of CSS because you suck at your job and you keep telling yourself you'll refactor everything but never get around it.

Gave a recommendation to the boss to do a thing. He said “Go and do the thing.” I wanted to do a proof of concept but there was no time. We got the contract. I tried to do the thing. It didn’t work. It WON’T work because the vendor’s marketing far overpromises what the product can do. No way to back down because the client is already fully invested in the solution. I want to quit my job AND my career now because I apparently suck at all of it.

I am really really regretting learning Ionic Framework as my first JavaScript Framework

Now suck it up and learn React...

As a guy with a Intel 6800K I now really feel robbed of my money by Intel.

For over 10 years they knew of the heavy design flaw and put it through.

The ironic thing is, that every country will set up a penalty for Intel, but the Customers with the CPU's wont even see a buck.

It sucks that I have up to 30% less CPU Power after next weeks patch.
I will banish Intel now forever!! You should never come again in my Business!!!

Even my newly ordered Tablet with a Intel chip will suck d*ck now...

I didn’t. I suck at it. That’s why I ended up being a manager. Not that I didn’t try, but according to a scientific test I took in college to figure out why I kept failing my math classes, I’m screwed in the math and logic department. I sure know how to read and write, though, so I guess I have that going for me.

Fuck me, i suck at hardware. Trying to build an automatic cat feeder, but it is crap.

I love technology. I love programming and developing software. I love self-learning new things.

But I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate Math. And suck at it too.

I want to study comp-sci at the university but I'm scared of the math.

Any tips?

Internet speeds in india suck,
Here i am with max of 200KB/s
It is taking full hour to download mingw,
I should mention that it is foggy so that might be the culprit
I am more sad than angry

Back in Germany, the land of fast cars and slow internet, where rich people preach austerity to prevent improving any kind of infrastructure. How can a first-world country in the heart of Europe suck so badly when it comes to connectivity and train travel?

Cross the border to any other country in Europe and you will notice immediately because suddenly the web just works as it's supposed to be...

I don't think the Internet became toxic because of anonymity like all those people claimed post-90s

I think it became toxic because normal people with their real life cultures found it and brought their real life cultural norms onto it

I've been thinking why are video games communities so much more holistic than other types of communities
the last few years this is becoming less and less the case, however
and now even games suck.

games now, instead of their old cultures, are becoming derivative plain cultures
everything has to be easy, meaningless, shallow
everybody has to follow the meta or people rage at you with their entitlements to your behaviour
it's exactly like real life!

mystery solved

Old me was way better!
Where I'm heading to?😵

Don't know.

All I know is that I suck at calculus but I write good code.
Weird.

If I would have to decide, early on I wrote random stuff 'til it worked.
Then I attempted to comprehend what I just did and started reading books.

That's probably when I first understood what I was doing.

Me: I just know there's gotta be a better way to do this.
PM: No I think it's just a problem of inexperience. You and $coworker just haven't spent enough time in WordPress.
Me: no you're right. I'm just trying to get a better handle on the code and make things as less error prone as possible.
PM: well we really don't have very many errors.
Me: wait, what about the (list off other issues)?
PM: those all have been resolved already.
Me: Oh. Ok. I guess it's just me.
PM: See, I make changes and nothing breaks. You guys just need to continue working on this.
Me: ... 🤨
Me: (weird flex but ok) hey! Look at this guy over here!
PM: (Laughs)

Atom. It showed me that text editors don’t have to suck. Love the One Dark theme.

So, I got myself into digital art because I wanna make webtoons or manga or whatever you want to call it. It seems fun and doable as a second job.

I still struggle drawing cartoonish characters, as opposed to real characters, where give me a few hours of proper attention and focus and I can give you a masterpiece. 😒😒😒

I suck, I know. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Don't complete the task within estimates : You're slow.
Complete it before estimates: Your estimates suck!

If it's an open source project and it (shock horror) actually gets a decent userbase, expect it to suck up *way* more time than you originally intended.

This fucker here had 5 SP worth of code when he decided to do this

I can't for the life of me believe how anybody and fuck up a library so bad.

It's easily over a decade old and one of the core groups of libraries we use.

The abstractions suck so bad it's a pain trying to get anything to work.

What's worse is there's no future for it. Nobody dares to refactor this or some shit in a 20yo system might break. Fml

Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me

console.log(deadline);
> "It was 3 weeks ago. You suck"

Throw your best toilet poetry at me. I have a small one to start.
I suck, but hey, examples :P

Here i sit
Taking a shit
The cheeks of my butt i spread
I had some very nice garlic bread
My poop is floating, my poop is brown
I watch it suffer, i watch it drown

Is it just me or big scrum meetings suck your soul?

So hating WordPress why does it suck so much?

New job, new laptop, which happens to be 2k euro MS surface crap.
It comes with win10 S which only allows store apps to be installed, so yeah no making bootable linux for me untill windows drag my ballsack through 2 hours of updating to a pro version.

Wanted to do a nice sweet new debian on it - nope, keyboard not supported in the installation.
I restart...and the fucker completely denied me untill it does another update, which is taking an hour..for now.

And wtf only one usb and mini dp port? In such an expensive laptop?
Cant even plugin my display untill my dock arrives.

Guess I'll have to suck it up and get used to windows for developing for now.

Thx microsoft

!rant, but a feature request.

@dfox, whenever I use the comment box, it covers the whole screen. So, if I wanna tag somebody in my comment, I gotta close the comment box once, memorize their username since there's no autocomplete on @'s and then type back.

Either the comment box could be shortened, or autocomplete be added to user tag function, which could atleast detect the users commenting on the current thread (since programmers suck at memorising).

What say, DevRanters?

So I suck at scripts, windows scripts namely. I need a script to monitor a program on machine and send an email if it goes down. There are eight instances running on the machine and they can be determined to be working if a specific port is open, one port per instance. I have no clue where to start and I thought it could be done with some existing service or script. Suggestions?

there's a shit game from 2004 i can't play because of StarFORCE DRM and by god i'm gonna crack it, copyright laws and shit can suck my fucking cock no copies work anymore

Fucked up.

Reviewed a code and gave ship it for a colleague's code change.

In a single day, got high severity ticket cut to the team.

I am done. Not going to do anymore code reviews. I suck at it.

There it fucking is again...

The legendary spyware "Antimalware Service Executable".

I changed the entry in the regedit. Tried to delete it with every possible tool. Tried to "chmod" it in the Windows way to be able to delete it as an admin. Doesn't work.

I swear in the name of bloody satan. This shit is doomed. It cannot be removed even if your shit begins to burn.

Microsoft, fucking remove it.
It is not a fucking feature!

Your windows updates fucking suck, your compatibility telemetry whatever the fuck you call these retarded ass "features" anymore fucking suck, your windows defender sucks.

Is there anything that doesn't suck in the features that you produce? I don't fucking think so. Fucking die for fucks sake.

Apple is overpriced, but at least they do their job well. Not like you, you fucking scumbags!

JESUS!

It's holiday season and since I suck immensely at keeping a regular sleeping schedule, I just woke up at 6:35pm. 4 days left to fix it

I suck as Excel so instead of using it as every normal person I prefer writing a tiny script in Python to do the job...

Pseudo-flexible working hours suck. I get the "choice" to start work between 7:30-9:30 AM. I'm a night owl so waking up at 6AM is not an option. Why can't they just allow to start at 10AM and finish at 6:30PM? Between 7:30 & 9:30 is peak rush hour and I'm bound to lose 1h30 in traffic for 30km (normally it would take half an hour) and start my workday pissed off.

I do not have the capacity to look for a job. I hate trial-and-error, I can't lie and I suck at talking to people in all but a cooperative context. I'm a decent webdev and I'm willing to learn, but to be able to do it I need skills that I don't have and I wouldn't need.

Sometimes i wonder how many people from here work in the same company, talk every day, and don't have a clue about it...
I mean... last person here you told to suck di** here can be your boss actually...

A PM who suck-up to a creative technologist. He comes up with ideas while me, the programmer, have to figure how to get it done.

PM expects me to explain how things can or cannot be done. I spent whole day drawing diagrams explaining things, while the creative technologist makes demand after demand.

For me, the worst project manager is one who doesn't take care of their people.

N The worst creative technologist, is one who won't go do their own fucking research and expect the developers to do it.

Both fuckers are management roles. Go figure..

Midnight sever deploys and maintenance might kind of suck to do, but it is probably the closest we will get to going on a top secret mission!

I hate hate hate writing résumés for dev positions. Each posting requires that you guess wildly about their stack therefore write a totally new résumé. You don't get a job because you omitted the keyword "Newtonsoft" when mentioning your Dotnet Core experience. Hiring departments have one job and they universally suck at it for tech.

Dear bluetooth headset,
I know your battery is low, thanks for the notice. I have 1 hour work left, after that you will get your charge. I also know you underestimate your own power and can do more than an hour on reserve.

So suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch blaring your damn "battery low"-beeps into my ears. It's way too loud and beeping every 10 seconds will only strain your power reserves and my nerves.

Yours sincerely,
dev13

Anyone know what Safe Agile is?

We're doing project interval planning for next 2 days.... aka long meetings about good knows what...

To me it sounds like bullshit bureaucracy.... because you can't have Safe anything with a team full of monkeys...

That or I just don't like change and giving up control... Or sitting I didn't meetings all day... Especially since I'm deaf and the captions suck...

tldr: my classmates suck and I hate them
We study cs in school, and my classmates are super dumb.
Here is an example from today:
The task: build an http server in python, using sockets.

My classmates: writes everything in the main function, uses try-expect for everything and every error possible, nothing works, nothing worked after a week.
Me: properly separated to different functions, used goddam regrx to get data from requests, used asyncio to make sure it can handle multiple requests at the same time, everything worked after 2 hours.

But, and here is the problem, after I finish they ask me a bunch of dumb, 'Just Google it dude' questions and they call me condescending because I get mad after the second hour of teaching them the same thing.
Once they told me:"you think you are a better programmer then us" and I just want to say this out loud: I AM A BETTER PROGRAMMER THEN THEM, THEY ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING AND I HATE THEM.
That's it, I'm done. I feel much better now.
PS: it's okay to suck at programming, but please stop thinking that everyone who's better than you is condescending.

Jesus fucking christ how can the latest Macbook be such a piece of crap? I'm currently travelling and wondering why I'm getting such an atrocious 40% packet loss and round-trip time up to 3 seconds.

Then I remember having Wi-Fi issues in the office with certain adapters, one of which I'm currently using, while I'm tethering over Wi-Fi ... disconnecting the adapter yields a perfect 0% packet loss and 30ms RTT. It Just Works® my ass. This is _one_ of the things that suck about the macbook.

My shit job sucks so much.
How bad, you ask?

Well, let me give you some perspective.
It sucks so bad, that I took a small freelance job ... not much $$$ ... and I actually liked it.

Normally they suck so bad and get so way out of hand that I end up regretting it. Work sucks so bad, it made me happy to something else.

I fucking suck at SQL and that's hurting my performance as a supposed backend developer :D

All the cool nested queries and whatnot, it just flies over my head, I need to learn it better, any tips on study resources?

this engineering degree sucks. make no mistake my friends.engineering does not suck. But engineering degree sucks . It sucks big time .

It's a fucking shame computed goto didn't make it into the C standard.

It's by far my favorite non-standard feature of C. Writing this VM would suck without it.

On my friend's terminal set:
alias cd ="ls -a && echo 'you suck' "
It was funny seeing him flail around for a small bit.

I realized how much I suck at maths.
But seriously now, I started understanding the way things work, what makes them 'tick'.
It feels good to look at a random huge advert screen and immediately conjure up a pseudocode how I imagine the developers must have done it.

You're stuck in a problem for hours. You light a cig and with the first suck of flame, it comes to you how to fix the problem.

It happens to me everytime.

Ok, we get it....

EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!!!

Damn new accounts be trolling today.

IT teach giving a speech that our MS excel exams are shit and we have no logic and that we suck at math. I mean, yeah it's true that I suck at math and I've never used excel before coz I never had to but ffs I code during nights and I love it, also there are so many fields, saying that you'll be just a part-time waiter... If you have the attitude to solve a problem that you care enough about you'll get there eventually. Sucking at something doesn't mean you suck at everything, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

Any good resources for learning css?
I've been using it for three years and I still suck ass.
Never learned it properly, never liked it at all.

Rust is a beautiful language. Fast, safe and system level.

The best and worst part of the language is that it has no inheritance.

Oh, and the super slow compile times really do suck.

To Mac fan boys... Suck it. In the time I've had 1 BSOD on Windows 10 I've had 7 kernel panic on Mac is x at work. And the MBP is newer.

Client has decided to buy another server because the old one is too slow

Manager: how long will it take to move our apps to the new server
Me: maybe 3-4 hours

15 hours later
Manager: why isn't it finished yet?
Me: because I have to install a lot of missing things on the new server, and I have to google a lot to find them
Me (thinking): because your 15-years old apps suck big time

RIP YouTube Vanced. It was great while it lasted. Luckily we don't need to go back to the official app on mobile, there are still alternatives that don't suck nearly as much.

Help me out,

Being a front end dev I suck at back end. I can do some stuff but some of the concepts and other things I really struggle to grasp.

Sometimes when I’m real clueless or have no idea how to do a task the best thing to do is ask one of the senior roles but whenever I ask him he rolls his eyes and huffs and puffs. I get it dev is quite a independent thing and you should do research etc. But it makes me feel so bad and I suck as if I don’t get the question he asked correct or I don’t understand he gets real impatient. I really do try I don’t want people to do it for me of course so I want to to understand but I just get moaned at. What do I do???

Android studio emulators suck dick. I've been trying to put some goddamn files on the emulator in order to film my app working- hey, whaddaya know, the app doesn't see any of the files (On my phone it works flawlessly) and when I try to get to "emulated" folder- access is denied. What the actual fuck android studio?

I hear Devs of all ages blaming everything on imposter syndrome. Everyone is scared and will get back stabbed by our rivals now and then. We cant build cool things if we don't suck it up and go balls out.

Maybe not so wk65
but nobody posts a awesome regular expression?
come on, it says "exp."
someone gotta write one!
(not me, i suck with regex)

When Windows tells me I require permission from my own user account to delete or modify contents of a folder...

...makes me wish I still used Linux...

...but many of my favorite PC games don't work with Wine...

...so I guess I just have to suck it up and reboot my damn computer so I can delete this folder. 😡

Trying to implement a dynamic data masking solution for our databases, to filter out sensitive data.

This seems like a problem which should've been solved decades ago. But it isn't. All DDMs, proxies, seeders, maskers... they all suck balls.

Which makes me wonder, how many devs walk around with MacBooks with half a million credit card numbers on them...

The sentence we all dread:
"My stereo (insert any other piece of home tech...) is acting up, call ______ he works with computer's he'll know what to do"

ME: "Take it to the service shop, I'm a programmer not an electrical engineer"

After that you can't help but think they're thinking you just suck at your job... "pff he know's nothing"

Am I the only one that cringes when I see software developer consistently ranked as one of the best jobs to have? Are other jobs that horrible that this is as good as it gets? I’m probably too cynical I suppose.

I feel like I was seduced by the fun of programming only to have the corporate enterprise suck my soul dry.

Started at a new college once again after a long pause.
And I have to admit that I suck at basic stuff like algebra. Shit...

I'm putting a lot of time to understand things, but it feels like the knowledge just fades away. Starting to doubt myself...

Not hoping for anyone to support me either, just felt like posting so that I won't keep thinking about it and giving myself bad vibes.

My worst experience with a designer was when one forgot to design the website mock up for 2 weeks... so I just did it myself. Thankfully I have a degree in both development & design and bullshited my way through it. We were swamped at the time so I wasnt too thrilled to be doing his job. He somehow still has a job here, even though he's lazy and his mockups suck. 🤐😵👎

So I'm gonna finish my interpreter. No matter how much fucking work it is to implement a proper cross platform terminal library, because all the existing ones suck. I'm gonna write a debugger for it.

And then I'm gonna learn to play the ukulele.
And I'm going to start a new project that may actually make me a good sum of money.

This is the plan. If I don't do this then literally fuck my life, I might aswell jump off a bridge because I can't fucking do anything

I am SO FUCKING SICK of having .Net runtime arguments. Change the fucking targeted framework. Because it isn't us driving the fucking change. It's the gods damned contractor that you gods damned make us interface with that you won't gods damned rein in. You are going to have to fucking do it anyway you blithering, gibbering suck buckets.

Intel drivers suck!

For months since I've gotten this work loaner PC it has been randomly crashing. Lately I noticed it is only when watching videos or listening to music. Googled the issue and found one other person with a similar issue who uninstalled the drivers. Now the thing runs fine! F.lux isn't the happiest but it still works.

OMG DOES WATSON SUCK !!! I JUST WANT TO SSH IN AND DROP SOME FILES AND START THEM RUNNING DAMN IT NOT MESS WITH NOTEBOOKS !

I need a new hobby. Programming doesn't excite me anymore, at least not how it did a couple of years back. I'd like to get into robotics and stuff, but everything's expensive where I live. I'd like to get into cars, also too expensive where I live. I like playing video games, but I suck at them and they bring me no feeling of having accomplished something. Sports? Suck at them too. I'd like to ski, but I live in South America. I just don't know what to do with my free time. Programming feels like a chore nowadays, but it's all I have.

Can anybody here tell wtf answer of this question is?

Most of the quizzes in this test are terrible. Answer to some options don't get displayed because it gets parsed by the browser. I think the person who developed this website and questions suck at this.

I'm not really satisfied with any of the major smarthome systems out there, so I'm making my own and using it as a learning experience. What I've learned so far, is that I suck at naming...

Best thing I can come up with is EasyDIYHome....

Apple's provisioning profiles/entitlements suck. They can all go wreak havoc on Android now. -___- App all coded, passed IT Security..will be passed by QA once they can actually test the app. Yet App piloting is in hold because of these stupid profiles and entitlements.

hey linkedin!

hey linkedin!

hey linkedin!

"you have one new message!"

no i don't you stupid fat fuck slimeball garbage idiots - btw your devs suck and you as an organization suck

these type of lying emails have to be illegal somewhere right?

like something the clowns i used to work for would have concocted... good amount it did for them, they are unemployed, and at least i have my income from my meager saas products / savings (they are gen z, probably don't even know how to spell the word "savings")

Procrastinates, wastes time not working; hates himself

Works on a regular schedule, putting in effort and feeling sleep deprived;
Hates himself even more.

Inner self hatred realises something.

Who said my self-loathing was bad for me???

I hate when I give someone a simple and efficient algorithm but they fails to implement it and then claims that it doesn't work because I am an idiot, and ends up with a complex shitty solution.
It works, you just suck at programming.

Sooo cobol eeeh...?
Old legacy system still running ehh?
Eyes closed and hope for the best from management eh?
And now everybody needs them all, while simple ppl dont get their money managers just say sorry ?

Twas a timebomb and it will still be. Its hugely pathetic of those responsible to disregard their old systems and dont test them for the worst case.

Why am i trying here to deliver proper working systems with long term update schedules when ppl in charge suck with their responsibilities?

I always start with a personal need. I can't really commit to projects that I wouldn't use myself. Once I have the need, I spend days trying to Google if it exists, and if not, I go ahead. (Then sometimes I find out later that it does exist, it's just that they suck at SEO.)

git commit -m “it compiled”
git commit -m “typo”
git commit -m “ugh”
git commit -m “wtf”
git commit -m “ok this doesn’t totally suck”
git commit -m “:shipit:”

Internships just kinda suck.
Like sure I'm probably not as good as the other Devs but knowing I'm getting over 5x less pay than anyone else in the room hurts.
Salaried and it works out at less than minimum wage if you convert it to hourly. Honestly what the fuck.
The experience im getting has been good but having to continue being on a student loan while working 38.5 hours a week is outrageous. Living in an already expensive city and I'm probably spending 10% of my pay on lunch in the office's canteen.

The one awkward thing about amigurumi is when it’s a pattern that’s assemble at the end rather than assemble as you go and it feels like you’re collecting body parts. (Currently trying to make a Kitsune, which means that I have 1 head and body, 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 belly, 1 snout, 2 ears, and 9 tails)

It’s also nerve-wracking because I just know that these pieces are all okay independently but I’m going to suck at assembly and make it turn out awful.

😅😭😅

I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.

Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.

The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.

Doesn't it suck that we still need to write an app multiple times for different operating systems? I mean for me it seems like how the web was a decade ago. I think we deserve better!

While there are cross-platform frameworks, I feel like the OS vendors must work together to make native development less of a pain in the ass.

Cure for Imposter Syndrome:

Go try to find a freelancer for a project, for something like "adding OAuth to existing .net web API 2 and angular.ja project" and many many developers respond. You will be shocked at how little they know, they say they understand the job but are clearly incompetent.

Best job security ever. Also, just suck it up and do it yourself 😆

So SQL Cursors definitely suck. Got a one time data migration script that needs to migrate 3 million rows of data (which I misread as 300k)

Using cursors it would take 15 hours to complete. Ive just had to make the most disgusting script using recursion and a whole lot of CTE's but it now takes about 15 mins to do the same faff

I feel dirty just reading the script, but atleast it'll be dead and buried once it's been ran

TLDR Cursors bad, m'kay

Happy New year fellow devs!!!!

May it suck less than the previous one!!
And may we all get what we want :)