First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!

😄😅😆

I like it there!

My code *may* have anger management issues.

When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.

Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.

Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.

Customer support story time: (swearing in Dutch because it sounds more fun but it's general swearing so no translation needed I think (will translate the non obvious parts)

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: hello, I have a question for you.
Me: go ahead!
Client: alright so.... one sec, let me turn off my music.
Client: hey Google
.
.
.
Client: hey Google
.
Client: Heeeey Gooooooogle
.
Client: HEY GOOGLE, GODVERREDOMME
.
Me: 😆
.
Client: REAGEER GODVERDOMME. "HEY GOOOOGLE"
.
.
Client: VIES VUIL TYFUS DING, LUISTEREN. HEEEEEY GOOOOOOGLE
.
.
Client: JA GODVERREROMME, LUISTER GEWOON, FUCKING KUT DING. *SHOUTS WITH ANGRY VOICE* "HEY GOOGLE HALLOOOO LUISTEEEEEREEEEEN" (oh for fucks sake, LISTEN fucking piece of shit)
Me: *desperately trying to keep it together*
Client: IK DOE HET ZELF WEL JEZUS GODDOMME *FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC STOPS* (Translation: I'll do it myself, fucking hell)
.
.
.
Client: finally, sorry for that 😅
Me: *still trying to control myself* no problem!

Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.

Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.

Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"

Me: *completely losing it* 🤣

I fucking love this place 😊

Computer: booted
Headphones: on
Music: playing
Volume: too loud
Terminal: open
Swearing: yes

I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PUBLIC LIBRARY

So this was a couple years ago now. Aside from doing software development, I also do nearly all the other IT related stuff for the company, as well as specialize in the installation and implementation of electrical data acquisition systems - primarily amperage and voltage meters. I also wrote the software that communicates with this equipment and monitors the incoming and outgoing voltage and current and alerts various people if there's a problem.

Anyway, all of this equipment is installed into a trailer that goes onto a semi-truck as it's a portable power distribution system.

One time, the computer in one of these systems (we'll call it system 5) had gotten fried and needed replaced. It was a very busy week for me, so I had pulled the fried computer out without immediately replacing it with a working system. A few days later, system 5 leaves to go work on one of our biggest shows of the year - the Academy Awards. We make well over a million dollars from just this one show.

Come the morning of show day, the CEO of the company is in system 5 (it was on a Sunday, my day off) and went to set up the data acquisition software to get the system ready to go, and finds there is no computer. I promptly get a phone call with lots of swearing and threats to my job. Let me tell you, I was sweating bullets.

After the phone call, I decided I needed to try and save my job. The CEO hadn't told me to do anything, but I went to work, grabbed an old Windows XP laptop that was gathering dust and installed my software on it. I then had to build the configuration file that is specific to system 5 from memory. Each meter speaks the ModBus over TCP/IP protocol, and thus each meter as a different bus id. Fortunately, I'm pretty anal about this and tend to follow a specific method of id numbering.

Once I got the configuration file done and tested the software to see if it would even run properly on Windows XP (it did!), I called the CEO back and told him I had a laptop ready to go for system 5. I drove out to Hollywood and the CFO (who was there with the CEO) had to walk about a mile out of the security zone to meet me and pick up the laptop.

I told her I put a fresh install of the data acquisition software on the laptop and it's already configured for system 5 - it *should* just work once you plug it in.

I didn't get any phone calls after dropping off the laptop, so I called the CFO once I got home and asked her if everything was working okay. She told me it worked flawlessly - it was Plug 'n Play so to speak. She even said she was impressed, she thought she'd have to call me to iron out one or two configuration issues to get it talking to the meters.

All in all, crisis averted! At work on Monday, my supervisor told me that my name was Mud that day (by the CEO), but I still work here!

Here's a picture of the inside of system 8 (similar to system 5 - same hardware)

Working very quickly on the swearing word/sentence generator right now.

I'm scrolling through @AlexDeLarge's rants like there's no tomorrow xD

Our software department is the only department where swearing in loud voices is allowed .

Says a lot about our department :D

The website i made has been hacked today.

Stored in their server.

They didnt give me an access for it.

The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.

Now they ask me for the latest backup.

I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.

The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.

That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.

I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.

Fuck me?

No.

Fuck you.

But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.

ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE

Someone's outlook wasn't connecting to a mail server.

Fair enough, colleague started debugging in the morning!

It worked fine on any client on linux/mac.

After a while the swearing started to come, for some reason outlook thought that the url used for incoming/outcoming email was offline, worked on any other system.

We all left him alone for the rest of the day.

At the end I walked to his desk aan went:
Me: hey man is it working already? *very sweet smile*
Him: *gives a death stare* fucking die 😡

😆😅

alias fucking='sudo'

Now swearing at your terminal DOES fix problems.

FOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY, IN ALL THAT IS HOLY OF FUCK. I AM ACTUALLY
Not angry at all, I just really like swearing

So I had my exams recently and I thought I'd post some of the most hacky shit I've done there over here. One thing to keep in mind, I'm a backender so I always have to hack my way around frontend!

- Had a user level authentication library which fucked up for some reason so I literally made an array with all pages and user levels allowed so I pretty much had a hardcoded user level authentication feature/function. Hey, it worked!

- CSS. Gave every page a hight of 110 percent because that made sure that you couldn't see part of the white background under the 'background' picture. Used !important about everywhere but it worked :P.

- Completey forgot (stress, time pressure etc) to make the user ID's auto incremented. 'Fixed' that by randomly generating a user id and really hoping during every registration that that user ID did not exist in the database already. Was dirty as fuck but hey it worked!

- My 'client' insisted on using Windows server.Although I wouldn't even mind using it for once, I'd never worked with it before so that would have been fucked for me. Next to that fact, you could hear swearing from about everyone who had to use Windows server in that room, even the die hard windows users rather had linux servers. So, I just told a lot of stuff about security, stability etc and actually making half of all that shit up and my client was like 'good idea, let's go for linux server then!'. Saved myself there big time.

- CHMOD'd everything 777. It just worked that way and I was in too much time pressure to spend time on that!

- Had to use VMWare instead of VirtulBox which always fucks up for me and this time it did again. Windows 10 enjoyed corrupting the virtual network adapters after every reboot of my host so I had to re-create the whole adapter about 20 times again (and removing it again) in order to get it to work. Even the administrator had no fucking clue why that was happening.

- Used project_1.0.zip etc for version control :P.

Yup, fun times!

Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.

Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.

Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.

The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).

On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.

"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.

That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.

That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.

I'd love to watch a movie where a hacker is trying to infiltrate a system and instead of getting in after 15 seconds they spend the entire feature film swearing at the monitor and smashing their head on the keyboard.

Fuck any dev who thought playing sounds automatically on a webpage or on a mobile app without user's consent is a good feature. Especially when you don't even include a setting about it.

Yes I'm directly swearing at any devs from Instagram.

Living in a tiny house and having a remote-only job (and no lappy) means I get the wonderful, lovely privilege of working in my bedroom... with my 18mo (who will not leave me alone), and my girlfriend (who won't fucking leave). It's positively great!

Blasting music is often not enough to drown out the sound, and certainly does nothing for getting hit with toys or screamed at to get picked up, so I get basically nothing done during the day. And that's presupposing I'm not begged to run errands/go to lunch with her, both of which take precious hours. (She won't take the baby out alone, so she's always here unless we find a babysitter)

At least it's quiet after 9pm, so I stay up coding for as long as I can. But 18mo's wake up super early, and the girlfriend prefers to stay in the room until I'm up... so even with earplugs I don't get enough sleep. A monster a day and a bottle of Tito's vodka a month is all that keeps me sane.

Why can't I just be fucking left alone to fucking work? I'm our only goddamn source of income.

It's no wonder we're fucking broke.

And to make matters worse, I'm being downsized... and considering the above, I doubt I'll be able to land a new job. 😡

I find it so amazing to see when my colleagues (or even me) are irritated/annoyed to the fucking point, swearing around and so on but then the phone rings and they are completely calm/sound nice/happy when they pick it up one second later. (we're Linux support engineers)

This job is the best fucking self control training I've ever had!

I'm starting to think customers know when I'm busy and take that moment to break their products.

I JUST WANT TO LET MY LEG SOAK IN EPSOM WATER... your users are going to bed soon, it's a freaking Saturday, and you need to go get laid because you have too much time on your hands. I'm in pain and cannot help you restore service if you don't stay on the line. So please... don't. Fucking. Call me. Unless you're going to stay on the line to test. You're pushing my limits, and if my voice gets any quieter, it means I'm about to find your porn accounts and register you as an amateur, uploading cows fucking to get you banned from all the services. Congratulations sir, you've pissed me off so bad, I'm using my "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" voice I learned from my mother. I hope you're happy. I'm so mad I'm not even swearing anymore. I always swear.

Edit: if my voice ever sounds sweet and demure over the phone, someone is about to get fucked with a red hot fireplace poker. This fucker getting close.

Fuck XML. Fuck it right up it's X with it's M, all the way to L.

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?

So I used to be a chef, then I got married and decided my weekends and holidays were better spent than making food for ungrateful shit-wagglers, or getting screamed at in Lebanese by the exec Chef during dinner service at the end of a ten-hour shift, so I went back to school for Computer Engineering. I was so worried because I swore compulsively from day one of classes.
Little did I know way back then, the first programming language I ever learned was swearing.

We all have that kind of friend who is losing his shit , screaming , swearing , crying , whenever the code doesn't work as planned.

deep down I know swearing at my computer won't fix the errors. but I think it's worth trying.

preface: swearing.
because anger.

So. I'm trying to use Material Design with Material UI. The components and UI look *great*.

It's from google, though, which really pisses me off. but I like what I can do with the UI.

HOWEVER.
I really want a grid system for responsiveness. because obviously. besides, i really hate doing all the responsive shit myself. it sucks and i hate it.

Material Design does not include a grid system. okay, it includes a grid component, but it's not for site layout. it's for making a grid of images. or something.

What it does include is a lot of very lengthy documentation on what you should do, complete with fancy graphics saying "THIS IS HOW YOU MUST DO IT OR YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG" -- but they don't actually support it! you must do it all yourself.

Why oh why would they tell you how you must do things if they don't provide the tools to make it possible? fucking google.

You might decide it's a grand idea to interject at this moment and say: "there are plenty of tools out there that allow you to do this!" And sure, you'd be right. however -- and i think this might just barely might be worth mentioning -- THEY REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Hey, let's look at some of the classes! So clear and semantic! This one was nice and simple: "xs4" -- but wtf does that mean? okay, it apparently means 4 columns as they'd appear on an extra-small layout. How does that work on a large layout? Who knows. Now, how about "c12"? okay, maybe 12 columns? but how does that display on a phone with a layout small enough to only have 4 columns? i don't know! they don't know! nobody knows!

oh oh oh oh. and my particular favorite: "mdc-layout-grid__cell mdc-layout-grid__cell--align-bottom" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm not writing a goddamn novel! and that one claims to be from google itself. either they've gone insane or someone's totally lying. either way, fuck them.

SO. TERRIBLENESS ASIDE.

Instead of using Material Design v0.fuckoff that lacks any semblance of a grid layout, I figure I'll try v1.0 alpha that actually has one supported natively. It's new and supports everything I need. There's no way this can't be a good idea.

The problem is, while it's out and basically usable, none of the React component libraries fucking work with it. Redux-Form doesn't work with it either because it doesn't understand nested compound controls, and hacking it to work at least triples the boilerplate. So, instead, I have to use some other person's "hey, it's shitty but it works for me" alpha version of someone else's project that works as a wrapper on top of Redux-Form that makes all of this work. yeah, you totally followed that. Kind of like a second-cousin-twice-removed sort of project adding in the necessary features and support all the way down. and ofc it doesn't quite work. because why would things ever be easy?

like seriously, come on.
What i'm trying to do isn't even that bloody hard.

Do I really have to use bootstrap instead?
fuck that.

then again, fuck this significantly more.

UGH.

I sit near a Spanish guy who talks to himself under his breath when writing code, I think its mostly swearing. You would think this would be annoying but I have grown fond of it as he sounds like a ninja, and its most entertaining to sit back and listen some times.

When you get a client from real MOTHERFUCKING hell.

You just really FUCKING want to say this:

Scorched earth MOTHERFUCKER. I will massacre you. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB.
First, take a big step back and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.
I will rain down an ungodly FUCKING firestorm upon you.
You're gonna have to call the FUCKING United Nations and get a FUCKING BINDING RESOLUTION to keep me from FUCKING destroying you.
I am talking SCORCHED EARTH MOTHERFUCKER.
I will MASSACRE you.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

But for your own sake you keep it at this:
Yes sir/ma'am :).

3 hours of productive coding in the morning then 8 hours of swearing, cursing, searching stack overflow, reinstalling eclipse and git only to realize in the end I was trying to push into a "protected" branch...

Why? because i'm stupid...

"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."

Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.

I've only experienced a quitting coworker once.

In a previous job a coworker quit with the words directed to the boss in a very loud and aggressive manner: "Ich künde, du verfiggti pissmorchle!!!"*, while throwing around office chairs and swearing all kinds of nasty stuff.

My boss at that time was indeed a fucking wanker. He exploited the shit out of every employee and expected from us that we work overtime for free. No pauses were paid, eventhough he'd had to by law.
I don't have to mention that he was a sexist fucktard and 3 female ex-employees sued him for sexual assault.
Sadly he is still in charge of that wanker company and he "miraculously" dodged every "bullet".

* trigger-safely and roughly translated to: "I quit, you fucking wanker!!!"

"Holy shit that was fucking traumatic to look at" you whisper under your breath

That moment you get the satisfaction of deleting 2468 lines of legacy code.

*me working on my laptop and the playlist decides to shuffle an old favourite of mine*

Oooh, I should increase the volume!

*presses the volume-up button on laptop to no effect*

*taps vigorously in vain and almost starts swearing*

What the hec..

Shit! Earphone's plugged to phone.

So my teammate posted on our Slack channel:

^(?=.{1,254}$)(?=.{1,64}@)[-!#$%&‘*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+(\.[-!#$%&'*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+)*@[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?(\.[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?)*$

Then our manager asked him: "Are you swearing on Slack!?"

No sir, thats Regex.

When you have to edit your StackOverflow question, because you left swearing in the code sample

I really like that nobody cares about the fucking swearing on this site

It was our first computer. probably it was 2008. I was super stupid back then. One day I saw a text file in our desktop, which says, "Hey $username, how are you? Message me here I-forgot-his-email@yahoo.com"
No matter how much we delete the text file, it kept on recreating and keep on adding same texts with multiple lines. I was really annoyed!

Yahoo messenger was popular back then. So I messaged the person using Yahoo messenger and he replied. Our conversation went this way:
Me: (after explaining a bit about the text file) what is this?
Him: it is a virus
Me: how do I delete this?
Him: if I teach you how to delete it, the whole purpose of creating it would be in vain
Me: okay, how do I create something like this?
Him: just Google

That day I was swearing at him from the bottom of my heart, not through messenger, but from my mind, because he didn't teach me how he made that virus.

I was like, "I will show you ***** that even I can make a virus better than that". So, I started googling & started learning how to make these scripts. The more I learned, the more it blew my mind. I was creating simple stuffs like, opening/closing CD rom every 5 seconds. It was so fun back then. Cause, my friends had no clue why their CD roms kept opening every 5 seconds.

After a few days, I started to thank the virus creator from the bottom of my heart. Cause, if he taught me how to create THAT virus that day, I probably would've just learned THAT one thing and stopped. But because he didn't teach me that, to learn one thing, I got to learn more than that one thing, which I'm really thankful for.

And then the journey started. Learned Batch, VBscript, C, C++, Java and so on. And still learning new things everyday...

I just got memo/warning for swearing too much.

Should i submit my resignation now?

Just to be clear, im not swearing AT someone. You guys know how it is when we're in the zone. Headphones on, focus intensifies, errors encountered, a lot of shits and fucks are uttered, most of the time shouted.

Programs are like humans. First you need to do baby steps and make it work like you want it, and teach it how to work. Then after the release the youth brings a lot of bugs and swearing. Finally it's grown up and can handle itself. Then it gets old and no one are so attracted to it anymore. It rests in peace on a old storage drive, and gets replaced by a new generation. 👶🏼👦🏽👨🏽👴🏽

sooo shit started hitting the fan

after another useless discussion where PM tried to hardcore micromanage me and then bullshit his way out, i fucking tilted and started swearing.
after this discussion, he invited to a meeting next week to talk about "miscommunication".

no need bruh, i'll tell my boss on Monday i want to switch to another team.

I thought ajit pai was a swearing Word
・ヘ・

So we're working on a few initial apps for a hackercamp and finetuning the OS. We've been coding for like 17-18 hours trying to finish this off without a day 1 patch on the event itself, when someone starts swearing like a sailor. We walk past him take a look at his code and see that he's started an array at 3 instead of 0. He's one of the more experienced members on the team so this is a lack of sleep bug rather than a not knowing. To this day whenever someone makes an array error in their code someone always shouts "Arrays start at 3 right"!

Maybe not the most satisfying bugs but man is it funny as hell.

Should I give swearing comments under the "I found my SO" rants for this week? 😔

I'm not upset. Not angry. Really. Well maybe a tad envious. Just a tiny bit. Yeah.

Screw it. Yeah I hate you all. 😭😭😭

Why do people jump from c to python quickly. And all are about machine learning. Free days back my cousin asked me for books to learn python.
Trust me you have to learn c before python. People struggle going from python to c. But no ml, scripting,

And most importantly software engineering wtf?
Software engineering is how to run projects and it is compulsory to learn python and no mention of got it any other vcs, wtf?

What the hell is that type of college. Trust me I am no way saying python is weak, but for learning purpose the depth of language and concepts like pass by reference, memory leaks, pointers.

And learning algorithms, data structures, is more important than machine learning, trust me if you cannot model the data, get proper training data, testing data then you will get screewed up outputs. And then again every one who hype these kinds of stuff also think that ml with 100% accuracy is greater than 90% and overfit the data, test the model on training data. And mostly the will learn in college will be by hearting few formulas, that's it.

Learn a language (concepts in language) like then you will most languages are easy.

Cool cs programmer are born today😖

When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.

A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.

I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.

Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.

Did some updates to an older Web Forms website built by a previous SENIOR developer who is a notoriously horrible developer.

Now before I start, you have to understand this guy studied at a University and had been working for at least two years before I even started working. He is supposed to know the basic shit mentioned below.

This also happened a couple of days ago, so I have calmed down since then so I apologise for the relaxed tone. My next rant will contain a lot more swearing.

This fucking guy did the stupidest shit imaginable.

On the details view of a post|page|article|product|anything that would require a details view this jackass would load the data from the DB.

Using an OleDbConnection, OleDbDataAdapter, DataTable and the poorest writter fucking sql statements you have ever seen. All of these declared in the Page_Load method.

There was literally no reason for him to use OleDb instead of Sql, but he simply did not know any better.

He especially liked: "select * from tbl where id = " & Request("T") & ""

ZERO fucking checks to see if the value is even passed or valid, nothing. He did not even check whether the DataTable had any rows.

He then proceeded to use only the Heading column of the returned row to change the page's title.

Stupidly I assumed the aspx page will be in a better state. Fuck NO!

This fucktard went, added server tags to the opening of the asp:Content tag, copied that shit he used to fetch the data and pasted it between the server tags.

He did not know how to access the DataTable mentioned above from the aspx page!

He did this on every fucking project he worked on. Any place that required <%= %> to display data instead of using asp server controls, this cunt copied whatever was written in the code behind and pasted everything between server tags.

Fuck I could go on forever, but I think this is enough for my first rant.

This isn’t gonna be a random because I do eventually get to a Tech and YouTube related topic.

YouTube is actually killing itself with all of the dumbass rules they’re implementing. Trying to child proof or limit educational content is genuinely a shit policy. The reason so many gaming channels are switching to twitch because it doesn’t try to censor you.

But now I don’t know if you’ve heard but YouTube updated their guidelines and they’re no longer allowing content that teaches people about Hacking essentially (and I hate putting it like that but I can’t remember the exact words they used Hacking just summarizes it) which is fucking ridiculous like what the fuck else, are they gonna stop allowing lock picking videos?

YouTube has always been an amazing FREE resource for people learning Programming, Cyber Security, IT related fields, and even shit like lock picking, cooking, car stuff, and all that stuff. Even sometimes when the tutorials aren’t as detailed or helpful to me they might be exactly what someone else needed. And Cyber Security can be a difficult topic to learn for free. It’s not impossible far from it, but YouTube being there was always great. And to think that a lot of those could be taken down and all of the Security based channels could either lose all revenue or just be terminated is terrifying for everyone but more so them.

A lot of people and schools rely on YouTube for education and to learn from. It’s not like YouTube is the only resource and I understand they don’t want to be liable for teaching people that use these skills for malicious purposes but script kiddies and malicious people can easily get the same knowledge. Or pay someone to give them what they want. But that’s unfair to the people that don’t use the information maliciously.

It’s the same for the channels of different topics can’t even swear and it’s ridiculous there’s so many better options than just banning it. Like FUCK kids nowadays hear swearing from their older siblings, parents, friends, and TV it’s inevitable whether someone swears or not and YouTube is not our parents, they aren’t CBS, so stop child proofing the fucking site and let us learn. Fuck.

TLDR YouTube is banning educational hacking videos and are being retarded with rules in general

Devrant has taught me the art of swearing.

It's been a while I haven't check devRant. Been very busy and spending a lot of time with my teammates; knowing each other since we transferred in one room and can't avoid joining the small dirty talks with my colleagues since I'm the only rose among the thorns. :/

So anyways, I missed being in here. I missed ranting about my boss and coworkers, swearing a lot and following your rants. Got to randomly check my notif and catch up with you, guys! ;)

Is it weird that i enjoy all these rants and the dev's frustration?
it really calms me down whenever i see a long rants, creative insults, excessive swearing
because it reminds me that my situation could be lot worse, thank god I'm not in one of those situations

Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.

Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..

I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...

Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...

Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....

Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.

I am going to get drunk now.

X

Last week's Android development time breakdown:

21.9% Managing state
17.7% Referring to lifecycle diagrams
15.1% Waiting for Gradle
8.5% Reading the official docs on how to use component x
8.4% Reordering auto-generated ConstraintLayout XML
7.5% Swearing
4.2% Googling “Stack overflow component x is deprecated”
3.9% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 24 or lower”
3.7% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 21 or lower”
3.2% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 19 or lower”
2.9% Googling “Stack overflow callback y called twice”, realising its a feature and not a bug, swearing a lot
2.0% Checking if Flutter is mature yet
1.0% Implementing business logic

New project begins, time for lot of coffee and endless swearing!!

Not to mention a plethora of excessive swearing.

Look, I don't really mind much whether you use tabs or spaces. But for FUCK'S sake, for the LOVE OF FUCK:

IF YOU USE TABS, DON'T TRY TO LINE UP PARTS OF YOUR CODE WITH SOMETHING ON THE LINE ABOVE BECAUSE IT WILL GO TO SHIT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE HAS A DIFFERENT TAB WIDTH SETTING.

YOU DRIBBLING FUCKPUPPET.

No commute.. oh, wait, I live next to work..like literally next building.. ok, if I move it'd be no commute again..
No need to brush the hair, can wear yoga pants & hoodie & swear all I want.. oh, I do that even at the office (trying to tone down on swearing though)..Umm.. boss doesn't get to tell me to go home at 17.. well he does that even now.. o.O ok ok, I got this!! I can wash my hair during lunch break! And wash the dishes and clothes when on 'cig break'..
Meh... I wish I had a doggo to play with.. :(

I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.

Swearing helps a lot.

swearing no question about that

"By design, the All operator returns true for an empty sequence."

You cunt face!

Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.

C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting, and swearing.

How classless! -says C++

What games made you racist? Or had racist content when you thought about it? (Whether intentional or not.)

Skyrim (somewhat Morrowind too, not Oblivion). I hate piss elves (high elves). They are condescending cunts. Didn't much care for Dark Elves in Morrowind. They were always swearing at me. Orcs are kinda stupid, but their abilities made me respect them. I have great respect for the Nords. Some of them wanted to murder all elves. I am okay with this. The Foresworn are gross.

Minecraft. Didn't make me racist, but had some interesting inclusions. First off all the villagers looks Jewish and are the arbiters of trade. Weird that. Then there is the Endermen. They are black, they steal blocks, they were introduced with watermelons (maybe not true, what I heard), and want to fight you if you look at them. I wonder if they will get changed later because of this...

You know a game is doing something right on their stories to get you wrapped up in the politics to choose sides. I think this may be part of the success of Skyrim. I hope to make my own players polarized on topics in my games, but in a good way.

Super angry and thought I would let it out here, even though its not related to coding.
So we had an assignment at school "Make a 10 minutes long radio report about montreal".

I teamed up with a "friend" and two gals.

First of all everything was fine.
but then, the "friend", last sunday, told me to translate 22 pages until the monday after and invited himself to my house. Those 22 pages, he should have written in english, but because hes too bad he didnt and wanted me to translate em. Even worse: He fought me with bad arguments and by swearing me in order not to have to do it in english.

So he invited himself and his gf to my home to work on that. I didnt want that, so I told em we could mee up in the school.

But then, he continued to annoy me with making me to translate them as fast as possible, he told me how he didnt believe in the excuse I made for not being able to invite them.

SO I just scrapped the meeting, without telling them, I didnt answer on the phone.

Now, hes super salty and wants me to do everything. LITTERALLY!
I have about 40h of work in front of me because he made many bad desicions.

What do you think?
Is he correct with that? Should I have gone to that meeting?
Have I made an error?

Looks like swearing is always useful..

Has your character and level of patience changed since the beginning of your dev career?

I have a feeling that stress mixed with a constant exposure to shitty code, hacky web stuff and abysmal stylesheets have been eroding my immense pillars of patience.
10 years ago I was able to try stuff out for hours with full motivation. I've started a habit of low level swearing recently and sometimes gain a strong urge to punch through a monitor.
I don't have it every day, but it seems worrying...

... or maybe it's just all due to having to HACK the shit out of everything to support fucking IE11.
This complete fuckery of a browser is still in use by about 0.5%... absolute braindamaged imbeciles if you ask me!

Today I was debugging some shitty code left by unknown developer whos linkedin account is dead and phone number left in contact card calls local pizza house.

I knew it qould be hard so i've made myself comfortable, gathered 5 redbulls and other items that diabetes people would kill for eating again.

After around 10 minutes i was already frustrated but i kept the pace. "Who is the best, little devie, you!" - I fooled my ego to keep up and shut up.

After around 10 next minutes my attention span has ended. Limbic system started injecting some hormones into my brain, but I remained silent.

First two energy shots were applied. I felt like hero again. Two minutes after I was debugging through some library that was written fo java and found out that it ahots some natives to a c lang lib called "mypreciouslib".

Oh flock, how can i debug it if ita compiled , I cannot do such things, Me be only junior dev. I started swearing, but silently.

Started ollydbg to see what is inside livrary, i searched through but i couldnt match anything it was like mess stirred with fecals of an elephant.

So I opened aida pro " with vitamins" cause obviously, our pm says "but you write in java right " so we dont need those tools right ? Fuck no.

Aida was better at least i could find some funcions calls, but hey, the progress. I was swearing out loud, with earplugs in. And by the time I've sweared all the things in company i got a reminder.

"Hey -insane- stop swearing, the children are here."-sayys pm, it is some kind of " family and work " shitfuck day.

So i asked them: " why wouldnt you buy this fucking tools for programmming for us , you wouldnt have to hear me fucking swearing" . then i realized that , colleagues in room heard all of it, and one of them, total fuckface buttlicker(dev without bit of knowledge) started something like "you are wrong, see how good our software is sellling". Pm was like smiling like he thanked him for buttlicking again. Not to mention he is officially retarded and i know his password to all our services cause he is so smart to put it into text file and then have sharing files in windows turned on.

The other one told aloud, that we would be much better with some debugging tools that are better than fucking eclipse if we have to work without code.

PM told us that he will arrange a meeting. At that point I didnt care any longer. I just fired myself, fuck them.

Please saint Stallman give me hope and joy of programming from my teenage years. Uhhh..

I hate it when I reject their laughable offer and then they just go on and ask from me to recommend any friend for THAT position. Bitch, I rejected your offer for a reason, what makes you think I'll just throw my friends into those positions that I find offensive for myself. And also it's your job to find people, not mine.

And worst of all is when that come the other day with a different and even more laughable offer and I reject again and they again ask me for recommendations and the loop goes on until I HAVE to become an asshole and tell them some swearing words they could never think of.

That thing, when the coder next to you keeps swearing at the screen...

It's your code you twat...

FUCK YOU FUCKING AZURE FUCKING FUNCTIONS:

EITHER LIMIT MY NUMBER OF TCP CONNECTIONS (before violently crashing)

or

FORCE ME TO USE THE GODDAMN PORT-PISSING, BARELY-MULTITHREAD-USABLE, SETTINGS-IGNORING EXCUSE OF A PATHETIC BUILT-IN HTTPCLIENT ON FUCKING CRACK (Seriously .net people fix that shit).

But not both... both are not okay!

If your azure function just moderately uses outgoing Http requests you will inevitably be fucked up by the dreaded connection exhaustion error. ESPECIALLY if using consumption plans.

I Swear, every day i am that much closer to permanently swearing off everything cloud based in favor of VM's (OH BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE VM's BOO HOO, I HAVE TO BABYSIT THE GODDAMN CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE AS WELL AT LEAST I CAN LOG IN TO A VM TO FIX SHIT, fuck that noise)

I am in my happy place today. At least I'm having great success diving into minecraft modding on the side, that shit is FUN!

** me setting up GitLab CI **

- run pipeline
- FAIL
- env variable not passed to one of the shell scripts

- set -x, rerun
- FAIL
- same reason. env variable is OK in the `set -x` output

- comment out `set -x`, rerun
- still FAIL
- same reason

- find a `set +x` left in one of the scripts
- comment that out
- rerun
- PASS

- WTF?!?!?!?
- continue on swearing for wasted better half of the day debugging my scripts

Do you know one major thing (among others of course) that has made devrant feel like home for me after swearing off social media for a long time?

Common ground with users dealing with absolute, insane incompetency at work (I have it real bad at my job).

This doesn't so much make me angry or frustrate me as it makes me sad.

Everyone has varying levels of intelligence in infinite disciplines. Someone could make you cry because they play violin so beautifully but they can't tell you 4 + 4 because they are completely dense, but boy are they genius with that instrument.

Everyone is GREAT at something, that's capitalism's strength! Everyone can excel! I'm lucky enough to truly in my heart believe that programming, data and game development is my true calling...and I personally think I'm amazing at it.

It breaks my heart when people fall into or pursue something that clearly they just don't have enough passion for or regardless just don't have the skill for.

They become toxic to themselves, their employees/coworkers, their industry.

Sadly, power is given to people who simply aren't capable and power is bad on so many levels (aka fucking psychopaths gaining too much power) but it's also bad when people who don't know what they're doing or care get power.

People, I implore you...the secret to happiness and fulfillment in life is finding what makes you happy and what you're passionate about and good at and gripping it until you die.

Most people don't find it....but DON'T stop looking! It took me until my 30's to figure it out. My best friend in her 20's took her life because she couldn't find purpose...don't just be an asshat, incompetent manager in an industry you don't know a fuck about. Love what you do and help others excel.

This is how I get when I'm drunk, sorry. You guys will learn, lol.

I don't think there is a database with more F-words and other swear words than Devrant's 😂😂😂

Perfect juxtaposition.

So we called out our project manager and tech leader, who sent out an email last Friday to our bosses and stakeholders a project schedule - which we never knew about until we saw it in our inboxes - that showed we had already completed development and would go on to UAT testing by next week.

Except if you look at our agile board we have 3 weeks of dev tasks left and a couple more for testing and QA. Then our dev environment is shit because the deployment steps in TeamCity were not properly done by Dev Ops. And we still don't have a UAT environment created, much less tested out. And the project manager is about to go on a one-month vacation. Great!

So we replied back with all the aforementioned information (less the swearing and name-calling) and sent it out to the same recipients, including our bosses and stakeholders.

That was such a fun Friday afternoon.

Who the fuck thought putting a motherfucking portable AC that is almost half my weight and that has rotating wheels on the bottom onto a fucking flimsy piece of angled cardboard was a fucking good idea?!!

That fukken thing drove over my toe, ripped several layers of skin off and sliced into it at the same time... I just couldn't open my mouth for probably 5 minutes because I would just be shouting and swearing like crazy... There was a trail of blood behind me as I somehow made my way to a first aid kit... I'm considering going to the hospital to get it checked but I thankfully managed to stop the bleeding with bandages....
Fucking hell....

Looking forward to trying out ChromeOS for a while.

I like the idea of a minimal OS. Frankly while Windows, macOS and Linux are all incredible bits of engineering, they all suck ass and are maddeningly frustrating.

Usually I'm on a computer to complete a task and just want the OS to quietly do its job and leave me out of its myriad personal crises. I don't want to see or hear from that fucker.

If experience tells me anything it's that I'll be swearing at the Chromebook within the week.

But, the fact I'm trying shows I haven't lost hope.

I am just saying that many successful biotechs were built on shoddy Unix scripts.

We don’t have to go that far anymore, but if your programmers are swearing at you in five years about your terrible code, that’s a win! You lasted five years and grew enough to hire judgmental programmers! Congratulations!

- Michele busby

The satisfaction after finally getting that problem solved

Today I read a comment on devRant about somebody asking what 1337 means. I think most of us know (almost trivial, maybe?), but what is really great is that so many people replied explaining what it means. Some replies were awesome, some were creative, some were just a basic answer to the question.

But none were hateful. ❤️

DevRant is a place for awesome people like you who understand that every one of us doesn't know something every day. That's developer life. That's devRant life too! The other day I told a senior developer about a Haskell project of mine and he asked: 'What is Haskell?' I was impressed, but it taught me a lot.

On devRant I see no troll comments like 'omfg fucking retard, you must be a faggot and live in a dumpster', which are common on the www nowadays and could have been found under a question like 'what is 1337?'. But not here. And this, while I see the occasional swearing in rants, but never at other members.

So thank you for just being normal people among other normal people. We swear at each other's fugly code sometimes, but we are a creative bunch of smart asses that stay classy at it.

👊

Today was a real Monday (I know it's Wednesday, let me explain).
Nothing worked. Not for me and not for my coworker. Across all tasks that we did today. It was very frustrating and a lot of swearing was involved.
Every week has to have a Monday I guess. Let's hope tomorrow gets better.

!rant

How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!

Every once in a while the flexibility of dynamic types comes back and bites you in the ars:

So I created method that returns the date significance (day, month, year) or null when no date is set.
I chose a class constant DAY with the value 0.
This is not a problem in if statements as I always use === but in this case a switch made more sense. And as you can guess no date set (NULL) was handled in the self::DAY (0) case... 😐😑😶 Silently resulting in wrong results when no date is given! #£#@$& (and other comic swearing symbols)

Even though php7 finally has decent type hinting resulting in much clearer defined API's we can still go very wrong.
More love to Go for less verbose static typing! To bad we can rarely use it at the office 😥

Today was a real monday... Untill the lunch break nothing worked even the slightest bit, there was a lot of swearing in the office, afterwards it got better but still wasn't very productive.
So, how was your day?

Is there a word cloud and ngram (word frequency over time) for devRant?

I'd like to test the following hypotheses:
- 'Fuck' is in the top 20 words.
- Swearing happens more often as the week progresses, with the exception of a small Monday morning spike.

I did some general searches in the actual project. The names of 22 variables and attributes I created contain the word 'shit', and 5 contain 'fuck'.

So today I inherited an iPhone app written for iPhones 3 & 4 in Objective-C.
I am facing two not so unique problems:

1. I hate Objective-C so I quickly converted it to Swift but as expected I created a tonne of errors and warnings that I am working through

2. The developer(s) didn't think it important enough to leave a solitary comment explaining what the hell they were doing.

So looking forward to a few weeks of swearing and getting myself all upset trying to get this app to work in a complete information black hole.

Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!

Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.

This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.

Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!

I spent the last 3 *fucking* hours trying to get bloody BibLatex working on my machine. fuck me upside down with a rusty chainsaw >:( How hard can it possibly be to get 1 fucking reference working for god's sake!!? Referencing its basically the whole fucking reason people use latex alongside typesetting math, why is it so fucking hard!! And to add insult to injury it was working fine in Overleaf, but i have to go through fucking hours of pointless googling and swearing if i wanna do the exact same thing in TexStudio. Fuck! LateX can go to hell, i could have written so much in this time if only the piece of shit bibtex would cooperate a bit...

Fuck Facebook!

Disabling apps without warnings or anything which means no customer login. This is a huge pain since the solution doesn't have any way to login to the same account with another credential.

"Oh did you use that? Now you can't. And the only way to do anything is to submit a form to 'appeal' the case which we'll just reject without any notifications or emails"

Normally I won't rant like this or use that much swearing.. but in this case:
Fuck you, Facebook. Fuck. You.

I recently refactored the horrible main.js of one of our clients. I didn't even know you could fit so much shit in "just" 700 lines of code (yes, it's really that big...). After 3 hours full of swearing and grinding teeth about this piece of shit, I was finally done and tested it.
It was so incredibly satisfying to see the page loading twice as fast!

Today I realized that compilers are children, and must be treated as such. Generally, you might tend to expect a language to follow the same rules consistently, but oh how wrong you are, my sweet summer child.

I have a framework that I've been reusing across several personal Unity3d projects for a while, and all was well. This week, I was tasked with creating a PoC that combines a web app with Unity WebGL for data visualization. My framework has a ton of useful stuff helped me create the PoC very quickly, and all was well.

Come 3 days ago and there's one last piece that isn't working for some reason. It almost appears that this one bit of code isn't executing at all. Today, after countless hours of swearing at the computer and banging my head against the wall, I realized that the WebGL compiler has a different implementation for the method that checks assignability of types. An implementation that has different rules than everything else. An implementation that has no documentation about this discrepancy anywhere. I have no words.

tl;dr: The language changed the rules on me. Fuck me right?

Everytime I go back to native Android, I end up: -Wasting a lot of hours with gradle and the shitty dependency system.
-Doing a couple of cours of actual coding and finishing what I needed to do.
-Swearing to never come back

We should once and for all,
put all IE11 devs in front of a wall
stone them with small rocks
until they bleed out of their socks
then proceed to melt them
with a blazing hot flame
until they are just piles of ash,
I will party like a lush!

This rant wasn't supposed to be a cheap poem, but I can't expect you to read a rant in swiss-german consisting of 98% cussing, swearing and death threats.

Mostly grumpy swearing, and insufferably bad jokes/puns.
80% of the time, works all the time!

There is no fucking holy grail of programming. It's better to use the right tools for each task instead of wasting hours to make the wrong tool do a horrible job. But noooooo. Even since this co-worker got here, he bragged how good Drupal 7 is for everything, and he never even ised it once before! Now we have 2 fucking projects beyond schedule and a new one coming ing, each of which tries to use a fucking CMS as if it was a fucking framework. Fucking idiots who believe setting a couple of options via gui to generate random code means programming. Fucking bosses who believe using 3rd party community modules and hacking around them to have them do different stuff is better than coding what we need. I fucking gave up and started using raw php to be able to finish this fucking project, but my damn co-worker refuses to. He keeps swearing and punching the desk, saying it's our clients' fault for asking stupid features, and if you dare to mention how it may because we're using a cms like it was a framework, he just goes full bigot about Drupal. Bloody Hell, it would have taken lass than 3 weeks in Rails. I could just headbutt a kitten right now.

I don't feel comfortable swearing. It's just how I was raised. But GoDaddy makes me want to. Badly. One of my specialities is switching people AWAY from that monstrosity. EVERY time I do that and there are pro-rated refunds, they ALWAYS try to pressure me into applying that refund to some other unwanted product. NO, YOU DINGBAT! We're dropping you like the hot, gooey, fly-covered turd you are, not looking to add even MORE expensive and unnecessary services.

Any tips to stop getting pissed at your designer's design?

I was given a frontend task after so long (I'm a backend developer who has frontend experience) and the design is very good except architecture wise it's very difficult to build. It's not impossible, but it's very tricky to implement.

Our client has already approved the design, so I guess there's nothing I can do about it
But I am getting constantly annoyed when implementing the design. Whenever I look at the design, I feel like swearing all the time. I feel the designer is very inconsiderate. The design looks very good at big desktop screen, but some part looks dumb in responsive or tablet.

Does anyone ever feel the same? And maybe have tips for me to get by?

My managers have started telling me to stop saying "it's difficult" or "it's too hard". But it is difficult! And I am getting more annoyed when they tell me that.

Whenever I tell the designer that certain part is not gonna work (because we try to make things general so we can reuse), he will argue and somehow ended up saying "come on, just think how prideful you will be after implementing this".

Tl;dr:
My stupid ass needs a break, also a good english lesson, sry for grammar errors.

# rant.start()
You may want to ask how it is to be kind of stressed. I'll tell ya.
I'm half way through my semester and all of my profs had the same idea: projects. Huge ass projects for everyone with the smallest possible time to finish them. Also i'm moving in a new flat in a few weeks. Shove your projects up your fucking bleached arsehole and put a huge cork right beneath it.
I started to wonder why my stupid tkinter application started freezing after implemeting a thread for a small tcp module.
Confusion.
Frustration.
Hate.
Chaos.
Crying for help.
Zergrush on SO.
Realizing i used thread.run() instead of thread.start() .
Fml, i need a summer break.

I always procrastinate a lot, but often it's more like taking a creative break so in fact it can make me more productive once I get back to my desk and start "doing actual work" typing code into my keyboard again.

Procrastination becomes unproductive when I have reasons not to do the work, like it's an rude customer, uncooperative team leader, a useless requirement or involves inappropriate or terrible tech stack and legacy code.

Sometimes all of that comes together, but I found even in that situation when procrastinating on devRant and swearing every other minute, I seemed to be above average compared to my team mates who probably felt the same.

Most of us quit the company at some point of that ongoing project.

Upwork should build a anonymous comment section for swearing to the fucking hiring managers who wants their website to be developed for $100

MiniRant on windows
This morning i noticed that the led on the mute key of the keyboard didn't turn on.
I started swearing because I thought the led died (relatively new laptop).
Long story short: reboot windows, the led magically works again.

The only think i can think of is this:
void Windows_Main(void)
{
...
if (rand() % 667 == 666) DisableRandomFeature();
...
}

When you’re working under high pressure, a coworker writes you that you have a bug in the new feature which is blocking him and you start swearing about what an idiot you are...

And you then realize that this is the team chat with SM, PO etc., and not the private chat..

Doing some SendGrid integration with suppressions via their API. I changed around a bit of my own code today because what I had before wasn't working well. Something I didn't touch suddenly stopped working. The response body from their one API endpoint no longer matches what their docs say and I swear it did yesterday. So I've been swearing thinking I broke something for the last four hours.

It’s funny that spongebob “sailor mouth” was based on the fact that sailors were disgruntled and swore a lot. Feel like a remake a few years from now would base it on developers.

Anyone else have a favourite word?

Mine is poes. Afrikaans and translates to pussy but is considered as rude as cunt and used more or less the same as twat

So i tried getting some games i play on windows to work with wine and steam.
After swearing and installing all the shitty dependencies it doesnt feel any good. And worst of all i knew not all games are going to work though.

As i wanted a good and portable setup i thought alright maybe this is going to be a good use case for docker. But its a pure nightmare to get everything running fine. At the end i gave up that shit.

So dual boot is still the only way for me to be able to play games without hacks and an unreasonable amount of work.

Using gpu passthrough to kvm is a pure nightmare too. I mean what the hack, the best way to use it is to have two fcking video cards?! And yeah the integrated intel shit graphics are no option.

I mean why the fuck is it even necessary to perform dirty hacks because the most game publishers dont give a fuck about linux.

Seriously it isnt that fucking hard! And Proton is a good step for some games, but only as a temporarily solution, that only exists because of shitty game publishers.

It is horrible, its 2020 and i still cant get fully independent from windows, no matter how hard i try.

Is it that fucking hard to add builds for linux to their shitty games?!

Had my first "it's working but I don't know why" moment. Freshly out of the basic courses in university I stumbled into my first project, side quest: got an xml file written with XStream which needed to be re-read by JAXB. Never worked with any kind of XML before and now after a lot of swearing at the computer I did it. It's working, I'm getting my array list with Elements out of the goddamn XML yay!

Im not sure if I can put a awk love thing here but it happened at work and this is a rant so here we go:

I told my coworker that I like someone at work and they promised they wouldn't tell a soul. I was trying to work in the kitchen today and this ass ( sorry for swearing but I'm mad) says really loudly OH WHO DO U LIKE HUH IS IT FROM BLAH BLAH COMPANY HUH?
The crush was there and so were his bffs. And they heard.. u could hear this from the north pole all the way to the south pole.. Uranus, mars, IT GOES ON...... I felt so embrassed and had an anxiety attack. And maybe im dramatic but I didn't know how to deal with this situation and I'm a shy person so I was so angry my coworker betrayed my trust and told people and like now people r teasing me. I can't even look at my crush .... I was friends with my crushes bff ... I was too embrassed to say anything.... Sigh
My crush has a partner. It's not right to act IN A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT PEOPLE.
what do I even do omg. How do I even GO ON FROM HERE.
I NEED A NEW JOB A NEW IDENTITY A NEW LIFE

Sometimes I think computers and the work conspire to make me an alcoholic. Trying to rush the release and thanks to piled up technical debt it's taking ages. And as it is taking ages, other work is piling up so I would have to rush to something else without cleaning it up and will be swearing again next time. That gives me headache. And to cure it I need to drink. And drinking gives me different kind of headache. All those stupid endless circles are ruining my life!

Any people around with experience developing for Google home/assistant.

Currently distracted by a headache and procrastinating on the couch watching Netflix. And I was wondering if I could develop an app that would pause my Netflix and tell me to fucking man up and get to work.

Maybe also one to get me out of bed, Google knows when I'm awake since whenever I'm awake I'm using a Google product. So no more snoozing just a swearing Google speaker that tells me to get the fuck out of bed. And won't stop unless I'm active.

There are two kinds of art and leisure: Apollonian and Dionysian. Apollo was the god of light, knowledge and other such things. Dionysus was the god of wine and ritual madness. In a nutshell, the beauty of the stars in the sky is Apollonian, and the beauty of nice juicy ass is Dionysian.

My info landscape was too damn Dionysian lately. I don’t even use TikTok or Instagram. I mean music I listened to, like aggressive dumb rap, bad slang, swearing… Wherever you look, there are Cardi B’s and Kim K’s, with their ugly eyelashes, ugly makeup, ugly inflated lips, ugly voice, ugly things they say. Watching the dumbest shit ever on YouTube. The louder you scream, the funnier the joke. Also, the number one content is some people tearing down some other people: penguinz0 destroying someone again, debunk channels, drama…

Dionysian things can be attractive and comfortable, because they speak to our animal part. In a way, Dionysian is natural. But not everything that is natural is good.

I gave my info landscape an Apollonian cleansing. Unsubscribed from a lot of debunking channels. Changed the way I speak, adjusted my vocabulary. Deleted a lot of music from my library. Went from 6ix9ine to Pink Floyd, Sting and Dire Straits.

It all started two weeks ago. I feel… different, but not necessarily better. Time will tell.

It is currently 5:30 AM, I've been trying to upgrade a server by one single major OS release for the last 3.5 hours. All major apps were no issue, except one.

Redmine.

That thing runs on Ruby.

Ruby, as it turns out, doesn't really like the way Debian handles package management.

And now, I have Redmine that, even if I completely uninstall / reinstall, won't start

I went down several rabbit holes, trying to operatively find what the issue is. But I never got to the key issue.

Fuck ruby. Fuck Redmine. Fuck nothing-saying error messages. Fuck bundle. Fuck gem. Fuck it all.

I'm redirecting the Redmine domain onto the server backup I've made. Upgrading that thing is a nightmare.

Maybe now I can finally go to bed...

does anybody of the alexa skill tester actual read the additional test instructions given by the developer?

please be aware that this and that can be used likewise. pleade provide information why the utterance abort invokes default even if i keyed it to stopintent

'given this, expected that. cancel doesn't an abort'

you don't fucking say!

(sorry for being repetitive but this is my current project. four weeks full of shitty 'feedback')

The day I'm fucking around with Kafka Streams API and had to work with Java after swearing it off 5 years ago for JS bae...

Is the day that Apache's everything is down. Can't even hit their fucking website. I just want a fat jar. Just one.

Can someone explain why THE FUCK JASIG CAS HAS AN ALMOST NON EXISTING DOCUMENTATION AND THE ONE THAT EXISTS DOES NOT WORK??? FUCKING CAS MAN!!

Oooof... I feel calmer already

The build broke right before code review with the Lead. It didn't just break in one place, oh no, that would be too simple. It broke everywhere, right down to the core mechanic. I spent the next 3 hours trying to find out why it broke, checking everything involved in this part of the system. It was a freaking Initialization call placed inside a conditional statement instead of outside.