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Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk13 -
Shit... I just got my phone stolen. Realized it 40 seconds post factum [left it at the shop counter and someone took it].
20 minutes later called the police [cuz I had to get home and use wife's phone].
5 min later poluce arrived
10 min later they got all they could from shop's security officer.
Police officer asks me to login my samsung acc on his phone. 2 minutes later we are on the way to the exact location my phone is at.
15 minutes later officer hands me my samsung 😁
got my phone back in less than an hour after theft.
maybe... Ummm... Maybe all this tracking thing is not that bad...?13 -
Got into the monday tech meeting, CTO be like: we lost 10% of users due to last version, terrible I know, but that's really valuable data, I want you to find out why they left.
3 -
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.30 -
“Fullstack dev continues to unleash his terror.”
We were in a meeting the other day discussing how we can integrate our React component with other existing systems easily — other React apps, Ionic, Angular, Vue and vanilla HTML.
All of a sudden, he opens his mouth.
Fullstack dev: So the thing is... it’s like...ummm... (he always starts after with these words. Always) since Ionic and Vue are both “angular-based”. It shouldn’t be a problem.
Me: excuse me! What do you mean vue is “angular-based”? What’s vue gotta do with angular?
Fullstack dev: You need angular installed to run vue apps and you have data binding in vue and in angular.
Me: (fuck me dead) I don’t know what that means, but I know what the Rock is cookin’. (My exact words in the meeting)
They flew him in from India and they keep extending his stay. He’s been working on the project for 2+ years now.
More to come!26 -
School principal : P / Me : M / Interviewer over Skype : S
P. I recently heard you run a software club in our school.
M. Yes. (started from March)
P. Well, one software community seems that he found you somewhere, and asked me if we can do a quick interview.
M. Sure. What is it?
P. So he will connect to skype.
M. Let's start then...
*A few moments later...*
M. Wwwwhhhhaaaaattttttt?
P. Calm down! What's the problem?
M. How can I have more than 5 years of android development?
S. Ok. Recorded. Next question.
M. (uhhh)
*A few moments later...*
M. What? Why in the heck do I use subversion?........
Yes... Ah... Ummm....
No! Why should i make a gui client for subversion?
*A few moments later...*
S. Do you have hacking experience?
M. Of what? I know hacking is illegal here..
S. Like... Anything!
M. Do YOU have an experience?
S. Yup.
M. What?
S. Google.
M. How?
S. (silence) Ok. Let's move on.
M. (wtf is this guy)
*A few moments later...*
S. Okay. We were about to hire you but you didnt met our job requirements.
M. ......What? What was the job?
S. Web developer Intern
M. I got no questions regarding "web".
S. I know devs should be great at all things.
M. Shut the hell up. What company are you?
S. (says something)
M. (Searches in google) Doesnt come in search results.
S. Where did you searched it? (trembling voice)
M. (Searches in naver, search engine of korea) Nothing. Are you sure you are a company?
S. (ends call)
Hate these fake interviews. And i have no idea how they found my school
I never wrote my school anywhere.12 -
BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...
after work...
BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...
sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...
sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....
im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole17 -
Javascript developer interview
One of the RH interviewers started asking about myself, personal information, etc..
He : well, let me introduce you our tech lead, he will make you some question about JS
Me : alright
Tech Lead : ummm, do you know javascript?
Me : yes..?
Tech Lead : ok, cool. We will call you.
I got the job..9 -
I do tech support for our platform for real estate agents. Today I got a call from a user saying she can't find her files.
Me: "are you logged into the platform?"
Her: "Yes, but I hate this whole technology thing. Why is it so complicated and unintuitive"
Me: "which part exactly, we welcome feedback"
Her: "when I download my pictures from your site, I don't see them on the desktop..."
Me: "...ummm... have you checked your 'downloads' folder?"
After 5 minutes of explaining how to get to it...
Her: "you see, this is exactly what I mean, why does it have to be so unintuitive... your web site is poorly designed"
😑🔫
Should I just delete her "FREE" account?11 -
Friend: My other friend said he hacked into the Pentagon, can you do it?
Me: ummm No
Friend: So you are not really a good developer then?
Me: ummm No...I guess
Friend: well I'm hanging out with that guy then, he is showing me ways to make hundreds of $ a day online.
Me: sigh...5 -
Rant && story time
When I was in first grade of high school (age of 15) we had a class of informatics. Nothing unusuall, you say, but this teacher was ummm ... Let's just say special. Most of his classes looked like this:
TEACHER: Ok, class, today we are going to learn/work with <insert a name of a software here>. # And then he sat behind his desk, falling silent for the rest of the lesson. We had to look up the software ourselves, and learn to use it. Or not.
Next lesson, he just said:
TEACHER: Continue your work from the last time.
And on the third lesson of each cycle, there was grading in place. He walked through the class and if he saw you working with the software, you got a 5 (that is A for our western friends), but if you were doing something completely different, you got a 1 (that is F). That just ment that you had to open the program and wave the mouse around while he was looking at your screen, and you got a guaranteed 5.
And then the cycle repeated.
However, this is not the story about the teacher in general, it's a story about one specific event involving him.
Around the beginning of the year (calendar one, not school one; that is middle of the school year) a programming competition took place.
The first stage (school competition), was easy; I got 45 points out of 50 (I was second-best on the whole school, of all years (students from 15 to 20 years of age).
A few weeks later, second stage (national competition) took place. However, when I got to the registration dosk, things got weird.
I patiently waited in line, but when I got to the front, the assistant asked me for year and school.
ME: I come from SCHOOL_NAME and go to first year.
ASSISTANT1: All students who go to SCHOOL_NAME need to go to that separate line.
It seemed strange, but I walked over anyhow. Maybe there was enough students from our school so that new line opened for us.
ME: I go to first year. # I assumed I don't have to tell the name as the line was only for our school.
ASSISTANT2: Ok, but you need to go to that row. *points to the row wherexI just came from* # WTF is going on now?
ME: Ummm, I just came from there, and they told me to come here.
ASSISTANH2: Oh, you go to SCHOOL_NAME?
ME: Yeah
ASSISTANT2: Ok then. What is your name? # Thank Knuth, one mistery less
ME: My name is SELF.NAME
After a short search through the envelopes:
ASSISTANT2: Here you go # Both the fact that my name was completely misspeled and the procedure it took us to finally get to the correct envelope are a story for a different time.
Skip forward some 10 minutes, to the lecture hall where they just told us all the instructions and started to divide us into classrooms
ASSISTANT3:
for CLASSROOM, STUDENT_LIST in STUDENT_DIVISION:
for STUDENT in STUDENT_LIST:
STUDENT.invite(CLASSROOM)
At the end, only a few people, including me, remained.
ASSISTANT3: Is there anyone not from SCHOOL_NAME? # Umm, yeah, WTF is going on now?
Noone replied.
ASSISTANT3: OK, you all, come with me now, we will find you a classroom.
From there on, competition went fine, I came in second, got a new phone as a prize, no complaints.
However, later on, I realized what was the reason for all that weird behaviour.
Signup date for the second part was on LAST_SIGNUP_DATE, which was at least two weeks before the competition, and signups had to be done untill 1600 that day.
Our teacher signed us up at 2200. ON THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE THE COMPETITION. OF COURSE THEY HAD NOTHING PLANNED FOR US, NO ENVELOPES, NO COMPUTERS, NOTHING, IF WE WERE SIGNED UP LESS THAN FUCKING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE COMPETITION INSTEAD OF 2 WEEKS EARLIER. THE ONLY REASON WE GOT TO COMPETE WAS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP AND WE USED THE PC'S MENT FOR THEM. IF EVERYONE SHOWED UP WE FUCKING COULDN'T COMPETE.
And from that moment on, I always signed myself up for all of the competitions; better safe than sorry.2 -
Ummm ..
I'm a PHP dev.
I still accept WordPress Websites.
I usually use bootstrap but haven't tried 4.0 yet.
I occasionally touch jQuery.
:3 still wanna hear my disappointment stories?7 -
I am trying to understand something for a while. devRant is full of privacy advocates and to be honest, part of it is almost taken by a group of people that call other people random swear words people because they are using a particular product of a company.
I will raise some points and will try to discuss them with other people in comments.
I will stick with Google. Since it looks like it's the most hated one. A company that has built one of the most intelligent infrastructure, the most popular mobile operating system and of course, the best search engine currently available.
The problem everyone sees is the privacy. Google tracks the search history to give users a better experience and show relevant ads. You might not need this "better experience". In case you don't know, you can turn off personalized search any time to make sure Google doesn't track. Same goes with Google Chrome, you can turn off all the data it is sending to servers in settings. You can simply not sign in if you don't anything to be synchronised.
An argument is Google should be opt-in rather than opt-out. But the general users are not tech-savvy. And yes, going to settings and turning on personalised search is a lot of work for a huge amount of people. Trust me, I worked in IT before. If they find other search engine giving them a good experience without changing anything in the settings, they will just simply move to that engine.
What interests me most if how people back DuckDuckGo. First of all, not all parts of DDG is not open source (it's fucking not, you can argue all day). Parts of it is closed because of licensing issues.
That is perfectly fine to privacy community. But it's not when Chrome is closed source for almost the same reason. I mean when you're using DDG, you are supporting a US-based company that has privacy all over its face and using closed source application on their server. Have you not learned anything from history?
You might be wondering about my obsession with Google. It hurts me when I see a giant company whose popular software is open source is bashed like this. Google has made huge contributions to open source communities. Chromium, Android, Kubernetes, Angular, GoLang, TensorFlow etc.
And PRISM, how do you know that DDG is not part of it? it's US-based after all.
I just saw an article that used a video with a title "TNW - Aral Balkan - Free Is A Lie | The Next Web" while asking us to switch to DDG. Ummm....DDG is also free right?
Maybe we should raise concerns with the US gov first rather than Google.60 -
Designer - *showing an animation made with after effects* Lets add this really cool animation in our website
Me - Actually that will be very difficult with plain CSS. We will have to use some heavy animation libraries, and we don’t have that much time for the project.
*next day*
Designer - Found a better animation
*shows another animation*
Me - *awkwardly* This is more difficult to implement than the previous one
*next day*
Designer - What about this one
*shows yet another difficult animation*
Me - *ashamed and questioning my skills* ummm....
Designer - you know what, just add fade-in-out7 -
Making a contest site for a client. It's 2 parts, a static part and then a "hub" where the contest actually takes part. I did most of the static part, and uploaded it to show her. She likes it, but wants to be able to change the content automatically without having to talk to me. Ok, I think. The harder part is the contest site, so she's not gonna run away with my code. I give her access to the ftp and teach her what to do.
To my amazement she takes a liking to html. And starts adding some (super simple) tags. They ruin some of my designs but they look fine. Whatever.
Today she messages me saying that the top picture is off. Hmm, I'll check it out. Turns out almost the entire page is ruined. What's even worse is that she inserted a link to a facebook image she has on top of everything, a picture I don't have access to, and yet she's refusing to admit that it was her mistake. It's not even wrapped in an img tag, it's just pure text!!!
Fine. I'll revert to the version I had. No! cz apparently I can't undo all the changes she's worked hard on. So now I have to go through all the markup and check what's causing this -- and I hate frontend!!!
Worst part of this all? She can't fucking be bothered to type out what her whore infested lying mouth wants to say. She has to send me voicenotes, a few minutes long, filled with uhhh ummm let me think, because that brain who thought learning to write <br/> and <em> is bad ass can't FUCKING formulate a thought before sending it. She has to have me stop my music, and stop my concentration just so she can tell me maybe she pasted it by mistake IN A 5 MINUTE VOICE NOTE. tbh the money isn't even that good. I don't know why I'm still here.
PS: it's not missing an include. I checked.7 -
"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man4 -
Friend: hey can you make me a website?
Me: sure, what is it for?
Friend: 'whatever the site is for'
Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?
Friend: Ummm... Idk yet
Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?
Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty
Me:
2 -
I interviewed to this small company. It was a position requiring a lot of experience they said. They did Microsoft SQL server and their technical interview questions were so easy it took me a lot of time to answer them because I was looking for traps, like for real. Think I might've answered too complex for them as well.
In the non-technical interview they joked about how they'd need to reserve two saunas in team events (Finnish thing) as they were all male and I would've been the first female.
Then they asked questions about my *children*. "Who takes care of them when they're sick?" Ummm, yeah, illegal much.
In the end they didn't hire me but they took two interns from the vocational school (or applied sciences). Yeah, so hard a job a Master of Science in Software Engineering with (at that point) three years of full-stack experience couldn't handle but some not even graduate interns could do?
Oh, and fun thing was. A couple months later a recruiter called me about the same company. I told *her* the story and she said she's gonna drop that company from her list and said no wonder they complain about not getting people for them. xD
I also send a tip to my unions discrimination department. They used my case as an example in presentations so suppose this experience served a purpose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened
Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅4 -
Casual workday be like:
Project manager: It is important we deliver these features.
Me & Coworker: Sounds reasonable, here is how long we need, roughly.
Mgr: Well, the deadline is already set and the contract is signed and written.
M&C: Ummm...
Mgr: Also, while we are hosting the application, we are not paid for operational cost, so make sure to optimise the crap out of it immediatly. Preferably while developing the features.
(A wild architect appears): Also everything has to be built on cans and kubernuts, with rectangular ui and bootstyling and with these internally developed backend frameworks NOBODY tests. Coroporate policy you know.
(A wilder division CEO appears on meeting): Also we are rolling out code KPI's across the organisation. Everyone is expected to Focus on documentation, test coverage and there is now mandatory SonarQube scanning of repos. ZERO DEFECTS PEOPLE
M&C: ...
(Wildest Salesteam appears): By the way we sold the application to these other customers, they love feature XYZ and must have it.
M&C: It does not have feature XYZ
Mgr: It will have feature XYZ
M&C: Allright so with all the extra funding from the sales, we need to hire atleast one Machine learning guy, an extra frontend specialist a developer and maybe funnel some of the funding into slacking the operational budget in the start.
Animated Suit *Railing a line of coke from his gold plated ihpone 15*: What funding? Get to work. Also your havent been super sharp with your time registration.
2 -
The new guy:
- I'm a big fan of effectiveness and efficiency. The faster can you do the task - the better.
- naah, typing in the terminal is soo inefficient. Typing, remembering commands, parameters, paths... That's such a drag! Such a lag! Having a button I could click to do the job is far better!
- OSS is the root of all the evil!
- I'd like to try linux once again. I like it, hopefully I won't need to spend another couple of weeks setting up dual-gpu power management and searches for an Intel wifi's dual-antennae driver.
- I need a bluetooth mouse for my laptop. Using trackpoint or a touchpad is a nonsense [I agree abt the trackpoint]. Using a keyboard/typing for navigation?!? That's utter nonsense!
- I'd like to try i3wm, it looks effective and efficient
it's happened within the last month and I'm still trying to compile all this input into his preferences. So far I'm getting too many conflicting errors13 -
When your ISP tells you they will transfer your internet connection to your new house in one month and they give you 10GBs on your mobile phone.
And I'm like "Ummm okay, this might be enough for a day or so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "4 -
*me teaching someone to code*
Me: So what do you think will happen when we run this?
Student: ummm... I don...🤔
Random: I KNOW! It does xyz 😄
Student: agh yea, it does xyz 😅
Me: (ffs) 😐
Nothing gets learned in the end 😮1 -
rant.GetType() == typeof(long)
I have voiced my unhappiness to the powers that be regarding having to sit in traffic for over an hour to get to work and an hour to get back home, in the hopes that some sort of resolution and compromise can be reached.
The response basically was, "We've never had anyone work from home before and this is very new to us, so we wouldn't know where to start and how to manage this."
Firstly, from what I've heard along the grapevine, someone has worked from home before. In fact, it was a developer... wouldn't you fucking know!
Secondly, you're the manager... FUCKING MANAGE! Yes this is perhaps "new" territory for the company, but it's certainly nothing new to the world. Or maybe I'm wrong?
How's about, rather than fucking "ummm-ing" and "ahhh-ing" about the working from home being a good idea or not, perhaps try saying, "You know what, let's try something for the next 3 months and see how it goes. We sit down and hash out when and how we are going to communicate regarding the work that needs to be done, and when you will need to come in for meetings and the like." If it doesn't work after 2 weeks, oh well... we tried. And if we're still going strong after month 4, I think we have a winner!
Perhaps it's a generational thing, seeing as management are Baby Boomers and I'm a Millennial? Then again, I could be wrong.
The point is that I see a potential solution to my problem that may actually work and benefit both parties, but they're either to fucking set in their old ass ways and stubborn to allow this. Or perhaps it's a thing of "if we do this for you, we have to do it for everyone", which they don't want to do.
But more importantly, they don't seem to get the whole notion of "a happy employee is a productive employee".
6 -
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes." -
In one of my first jobs i developed an (ugly and heavly under-payed) e-commerce/media platform for a customer.
That customer was constantly making fun of his bald partner telling how he was gay, liked dicks, etc., drawing dicks and bananas as sample website logos or uploading dildo/penis images as images, he was always like this.
Once the website was ready for production i removed all the "testing" posts and images and told the client to insert some real content and alert me when it was ready for release.
Well some time after the release i got a call from that client, for the first time he was serious:
C: Hi, why there are dildo images on the server? (the website in production was full of dildo/penis images instead of actual product images, he even photoshopped the head of his partner on a penis and uploaded it!!!)
R: ehm... i told you it was on production and to stop uploading bad content....
C: Ummm ok, please fix it immediatly, thanks!3 -
Client: *uses Oracle on AWS RDS*
Ora: *licence about to expire*
Client: we need a cheaper and equally performant solution.
AWS: we have an outstanding Aurora db! Its performance is flawless!
Client: shut_up_and_take_my_money.png
Engineers: *migrating to Aurora mysql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 2 months, adapting app code.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~70% of Ora perf*
==========
Client: we need to do better!
AWS: try Aurora Postgresql!
Engineers: *migrating to Aurora postgresql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 1 month.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~40% of Ora perf*
AWS: let me see...
AWS DBAs: *fine-tuning the db for another 2 months*
Aurora: *survives ramp-up, delivers ~70% Ora perf*
AWS DBAs: your application is wrong.
We: Ora didn't complain about that...
AWS DBAs: umm.. Err.. Then your load test is wrong
We: ora wasn't complaining about that either...
AWS DBAs: errr.. Ummm.. Oh, I've got it! Your queries aren't optimized!
We: we cannot change queried - they are hardcoded by our framework's vendor
AWS DBAs: well there you go! Your queries aren't optimized! It's your fault, not aurora's
yyeeahhhh... Riight...
From my xp, aws support and aws engineers ALWAYS try to put the blame on a client. Always. Even when they're obviously wrong.15 -
Basically all those graphical applications for developing apps and programs.
Take fucking Thunkable for example.
Or the unholy abomination that is scratch.
Contradictory to the education system, I believe that it absolutely does not prepare students for programming.
Like "ummm puzzle goes there uuhh that goes there ajdjsudheirnrifksmci"5 -
Why red herring is important between discussions.
My daughter: Papa! See this is my name and this is the name of my Sir.
I: No my little princess!! This is our surname.
My daughter: oh ok!! Who is that?
I: Ummm... (No answer) Wow!! You're wearing a beautiful dress today...13 -
One of our politicians at the late-night-show
Q: who wrote La Traviata? Giuseppe or Verdi?
A: ummm.. Ammm.. Well.. *confused af*
Q: so do you know it or not?
A: I know it! I know. I know but I won't tell you. *in all the seriousness*
[true story]
somehow reminds me of IT guys who pretend to know everything just to look cool :)4 -
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
Anyone who has experienced this without falling into desperation deserves a beer, I know I need one.
Colleague: Python says I have an indentation error, halp. *Sends screenshot*
You: okay, it says it's located on file.py line 39. Can I see the related line?
Colleague: *sends a screenshot of the whole file, without numbered lines*
You: ummm, could you send me the related lines tho?😐
Colleague: 😒 yeah. *Resends a screenshot of the error and the whole file...again*
You: I REALLY need you to send me only the function scope to help you cuz I can't visually debug the whole file on a picture.
Colleague: *sends a panned phone picture with an arrow to the function (half of it)*
Plot twist: she's your girlfriend.
[EDIT]
GF: I can't see it, I'll go have a snack.1 -
I am doing very well in a STEM PhD on a topic I don't like. I wish someone could hire me as a junior software developer instead. :(5
-
I conducted my first "technical" interview today. Let's just say the chap needs to brush up on his terminology...
Q: What's a class and an object? And what's the difference between each?
A: Ummm... Errr... The one holds static information and the other can change its values.
OK, in his defence, he was nervous and English isn't his first language either, but then brush up on your terminology at the very least so that you can speak the lingo when asked questions about programming.1 -
NullPointerException: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.....ummm what was null?
How much longer must we wait for a language that tells you the variable name that was null?2 -
Scrum master sends a team wide mail and Apple Mail thinks it’s from a mailing list. Ummm.. wut? How come? What’s the algorithm to deduce whether a mail is from a mailing list or not?1
-
Don't you just love it when a client turns around at this time of year and tells you that there is a new project and it's due by the middle of January!
And then they tell you the specs... Wait... What? How? Ummm... So you want a test app that is basically a fully working product that would take months to build ready in 15-20 days.
I'd rather drag my balls along sandpaper and dip them in vinegar...2 -
Ummm, I will assume that you were not able to navigate to the page you have just opened in background. Ok Safari, thanks for the hardwork.
4 -
People in this discussion will refer to my classmates doing their project we were allowed to choose like 3 months ago and back then I already told them they won't ever manage to make it work in time.
People: "yo could you help real fast"
Me: "aaah not again but okay why not"
People: "here's the code"
Me: "the fuck is this? What is it supposed to do?"
People: "ummm it should doooo eeeerrr... Like this and .... Yeah we don't know. The output should look like that but it doesn't"
Me: "the fuck did you even try to do. That'll never work. And I told you the same thing like 3 months ago when you just chose the project. Just go and use some random math lib you find"
People: "kkkk"
Their code seriously made no sense at all. Parsing substring within like 5 nested loops and like 20vars called "s1" and "theString" and what not. -
When I created stubmatic (a http mock application), we were using it in our internal project. First time when some other project expressed their interest, I was happy and eager to help.
So the person they sent for the training asked me his first question: "I followed all the steps, but It is not working"
I quickly checked his code and replied "you're using GET instead of POST method"
Then his second and last question about stubmatic was "why don't your code understand which method has to be used? Why should a client need to tell every time?"
Ummm... silence -
Why is 99% of my development job responding to audits, security questions, and idiocy spewing from something called an “Office of Innovation”? So this Innovation team sends down a project request which is silently intended to push my resource allocation over 100%. Security shoots down the idea. Innovation team tells me to tell security no, we need this. Ummm, here’s a thought, why don’t you idiots all get together and tell me when there’s some coding to be done?1
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Ummm. Thanks for that, google/youtube!
(Box without content + unclosable. Had to clear all cookies etc)
2 -
My client just asked me to copy (his words were I want it to look exactly like) the Apple and Weather Channel apps for iPhone. Ummm... nope. Not getting that lawsuit2
-
Finished compiling my biggest project to date. It compiles fine, but does not output anything.
Time to spend the night debugging and overeating. -
LORD AM I PRON TO THESE KIND OF PEOPLE AS A DEV!!!?
[09:21, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Bro
[10:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Wasap
[10:25, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Im good fam hwu
[10:37, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Um good bro how is it?
[10:43, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: All good.. i need help fam... i want to creat application form but dnt knw how to fo th out look appearance
[10:48, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ummm haven't used out look
[10:51, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nooo I mean appearance of the app. .. not outlook windows no
[10:55, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 🤔
Wat you up to
Want to create a form using outlook or you want to create an application? ??
[GUY SENDS VOICE NOTE]
[11:21, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Is it web app or desktop app
[11:22, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: I thnk its wise to hv it a web app
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ok so is this a thing chitone market or?
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And outline all it's functionality
[11:25, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And the price😋🤑
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Na. Its just fr records n logs ... for reference
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: 👀U want to thug me now
[11:27, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nigaaa👀wait
[11:42, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 😂 its yo idea
I can't make something I have no idear what information it should take in
What format to generate soft copy
Etc5 -
I am an intermediate-level programmer. I want to sit down and re-learn JavaScript properly. What are the best books / resources to do so?5
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Ummm, maybe it's a little bit offtopic but could anyone help me with pointers in C language? The best would be some free exercises or tutorials from the internet that I didn't find...(I was looking for a long time before this desperate post...:/)
If it does not belong here, pls, let me know and I will delete this post!
Thank you so much :)
(Ps: I will have a big exam on Tuesday so I want to practice..)12 -
If I am getting a math PhD, and want to pursue data science, how important is getting another formal degree in DS to get a job?1
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