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Our testers want us devs to start paying 50 cents for each bug the testers find. But they won't agree to paying us devs 50 cents for each bug that makes it into production.9
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I don't like anything political on here, but this is affecting us all, even non-US people.
Today is the day, take a stance, fight for NetNeutrality
12 -
Customer :Can you build a system that rates our product by XYZ standard?
Us: Sure!
*time passes*
Us: Ta-da!
Customer: Okay, here are some good and some bad products!
*products get rated shit to supershit*
Customer: No, that's wrong. Some of these are as good as we can, they should be rated best!
Us: okay, we offset the results.
*products get rated good to barely okay*
Customer: Great! Can you sign that the system rates by XYZ Standard?
Us: No.
Customer : But we paid you to rate by XYZ standard!
Us: By XYZ standard your products are bad, you can either have your products rated by standard or pass the test.
Customer: Unacceptable!
Us: Improve production?
Customer : Not possible, the job is done when you rate the products good by XYZ standard.9 -
Today let me see how much of a better HTML/CSS lecturer I had before. The new guy just does everything from W3Schools while the older one, after telling us the basics, just gave us .psd files and let us figure out what was what and we learned a lot from that.2
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This actually happened today
Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.
Me: Alright, I'll check it out.
(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)
Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.
Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)
(Screen lights up)5 -
FBI: FUCK!! We just lost our connection to all those civilian routers we were monitoring
FBI IT Department: Did you try turning them off and back on?
FBI:
5 -
dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.42
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Can't believe the US are talking about removing protection for net neutrality. I'm not based in the US, but hope devs out there are getting behind Net neutrality day and Battle for the net
6 -
Senior development manager in my org posted a rant in slack about how all our issues with app development are from
“Constantly moving goalposts from version to version of Xcode”
It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and not reply. So I’ll vent here to myself as a form of therapy instead.
Reality Check:
- You frequently discuss the fact that you don’t like following any of apples standards or app development guidelines. Bit rich to say the goalposts are moving when you have your back to them.
- We have a custom everything (navigation stack handler, table view like control etc). There’s nothing in these that can’t be done with the native ones. All that wasted dev time is on you guys.
- Last week a guy held a session about all the memory leaks he found in these custom libraries/controls. Again, your teams don’t know the basic fundamentals of the language or programming in general really. Not sure how that’s apples fault.
- Your “great emphasis on unit testing” has gotten us 21% coverage on iOS and an Android team recently said to us “yeah looks like the tests won’t compile. Well we haven’t touched them in like a year. Just ignore them”. Stability of the app is definitely on you and the team.
- Having half the app in react-native and half in native (split between objective-c and swift) is making nobodies life easier.
- The company forces us to use a custom built CI/CD solution that regularly runs out of memory, reports false negatives and has no specific mobile features built in. Did apple force this on us too?
- Shut the fuck up5 -
Client: Once this app hits the market I'll give each of you $500!
Us: *screams of surprise*
Client: Hong kong Dollars
Us:.....
Better than nothing amirite? :p8 -
Prof offers a VR project to us:
Prof: Lets do something nice using VR
Us: Sounds interesting. Will we get VR glasses to test at home?
Prof: No.
Us: Can we use the VRs of the university?
Prof: There are no available.
Us: Will there be additional ones?
Prof: No.
WHY DO YOU OFFER A VR PROJECT BUT THERE IS AND WILL BE NO HARDWARE??? SORRY, BUT MY OWN GLASSES HAVE NO VR FUNCTION!!6 -
Websites be like:
Check this box if you don't want us to remember that you don't want us to send you any newsletters1 -
Finally got myself setup in my new office today, before there was three of us cramped into a tiny 3mx4m office, now only two of us in a much larger office.
6 -
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
We're not the wrong ones here...
I consider this a failed IQ test, so the website should just ban the user.
9 -
An ancient scripture describing our impending doom found on Stack Overflow
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
6 -
During a meeting with the client
Client: I don't care how long it takes to complete the app, I want the app to be polished and give the users the best experience!
Us: Got it.
*Later that day*
Client: *wants to implement a new feature in the app*
Us: It'll take us a day or two.
Client: That long?! I need to get it to the market ASAP!
Us:.......
:D -
Stop using 5 year old, terrible drag and drop website designer which uses inline CSS and JavaScript and let us actually write it. They (barely) teach us html and then say that using a website designer is how it works in the real world. They actually disallow us writing it from scratch. Just glad I taught myself it already!7
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How Google loost its data Monopoly-
Present:
Step 1- US bans Huawei
Step 2- Google Bans Huawei
Step 3- China Gov helps Huawei get back on its feet
Future:
Step 4- Huawei makes their own OS to rival Google, the OS can run Android apps as well as IoS apps and has its own language/framework for developing new apps
Step 5- China bans Google from their market
Step 6- Chinese mobile manufacturers adopt the new OS
Step 7- China's population starts using the new OS i.e. country with the world's largest population starts using the new OS
Step 8- Chinese manufacturers like Xiaomi, Vivo, Oppo and OnePlus who already own approx 40% of India's smartphone market start distributing the new OS based phones in India. Factors like cheaper devices take this market share to 50%+
Step 9- Cry, cause the new OS is now being used by approximately 30% of the world's population.
Yeah, bring your hate in the comments but come back and talk to me in August 2022...12 -
Ah the classic meeting terrorist....
Us: "These emails are working."
Rando customer on conf call: "No they aren't, I haven't seen any of these emails."
Us: "Is your email on the list?"
Rando customer on conf call: "No."
Yeah fuck you.
The rest of us are paying attention here, can you please shut the fuck up on the meeting.1 -
There are 20 of us in the whole team. Each of us are entitled to 1 month of leave/year. Then here's the manager telling us that there should be no overlapping dates of leave vacations. FU!!2
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Company praises us for being so productive working remote during covid
Forcing us to go in after covid with no remote option
12 -
Customer wanted us to put XP on a netbook after having us look at her XP tower.
This is what we all want to say about her "new" PC
6 -
In a former company we had a CEO that was no developer but thought he knows better just because of googling stuff.
One meeting was a very ridiculous one. He told us which technology we should use for the new project. All of us developers objected and agreed on something better.
It ended in he yelling at us and calling us stupid and incompetent. This meeting lasted almost a whole day.
I left the company soon after. -
asked the team to give us their API docs, they gave us the whole fuckin source code. in a zip file...
im outa here!! 😕3 -
Our current programming teacher actually being able to teach us good practices and give us constructive criticism on our code.1
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In my uni course "Algorithms and Data structures" we use Java. Fine. Definitely not my preferred language but it's not like I have a choice.
Anyway, our teacher uploads code files for us to use as reference/examples. The problem is, they look like this. Not only does she not indent the code, she also uses a charset that is not utf-8.
In the rare cases where she does indent the code, she uses THREE, yes THREE spaces...
24 -
CEO: This project is of critical importance to us - anything you need at all to help make it happen swiftly, let us know and my team will be on it.
Hey, could you give us IntelliJ ultimate licences?
THAT IS A RIDICULOUS REQUEST DON'T YOU KNOW EVERY PENNY COUNTS HERE6 -
A lot of online games (mainstream) tend to make me kind of angry or stressed. Lots of either blatantly stupid or negative players kill the fun.
A few days ago I've startet to see videos about "Among Us". It's on a big hype right now and their machmaking servers must be glowing.
Well, this game is fucking awesome and it makes me really happy! 😊
Nothing beats a 30 minute game of lying, betrayal, teamwork and good old 30'000 IQ big-brain detective work.
I think it's a great execise for remembering stuff.
You remember colors, who's said what and who faked or did which task. And the hardest part is, even if you fucking saw the killer, you have to present the facts in a way that people believe you.
Each round is unique and full of riddles.
Yeah, I just wanted to say: Fucking great game 😄3 -
Company: Okay lets do Agile on this project! And every sprint is equivalent to 3 weeks!
Us: Wow! That's nice!
Company: We need to finish the project with in one month.
Us: Wait. What??!!!!3 -
My mom’s not too great with tech
she’s the kind of person who thinks I’m hacking when I use a terminal
My brother is teaching her to play among us, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen4 -
I feel the whole universe is a programmed game and someone is playing us. Like when we're playing GTA.
Few of us are the main characters and the rest of us are just random objects to populate the earth, we don't have any rule in the story. :(
Birth is the Constructor()
Death is the Finalizer()4 -
For myself, I choked on the following:
- "Why do you want to work for us?"
- "Why us, specifically?"
- That stupid logic test with the guys wearing the red and white caps
- "Convince us how you're not overqualified. We're simple people."
- "Convince us how you're not going to leave us in the long run."
- Stupid db test: here is a scenario. You have 15 minutes to write an entire relational db with 20 tables, keys, relationships..
- "Why would we want to hire you?"6 -
So some client has their own server with their website that we made and maintain.
Recently they've revoked writing permissions for our user for whatever reason but expect us to change stuff.
This has been the case for a few weeks now and they still haven't given us writing permission back, but insist of us making the changes.1 -
Never thought I'd become one of those people who get really annoyed when my code works first time. I know I've made a mistake... why can't you be obvious!1
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An online community I've been part of for years has seen a lot of popularity/hate overnight due to a new policy. The influx of new people who want nothing to do with us but just drop by to troll and be cunts is impressive. Also, a significant amount of bots. I want my online home back :( I'm for the new policy and very much against these new clowns who don't really have any reason to be on our page. Before anyone yells gatekeeping, it's a site about knitting and crochet. Why would you go there if you don't know either craft and have no desire to learn or talk about those? So disappointed. I hope it brought new crafters in and that the trolls will go away soon. It's been such a nice place for so long with barely any idiots because it was reasonably small.. And now look at this mess. I logged in to 20 friend requests from people I don't know and am almost certain aren't real people.
Why is it so hard for humans to accept that some people may disagree with them and that's okay?17 -
How to disable "New comments on a rant you commented on!" notifs?
As a true narcisist, We are not interested in people's comments as long as they aren't praising Us and Our ingenious words. As all comments mentioning Us are also praising Us, only showing notifications for comments that mention Us would be fine.9 -
Throwback - don forget when CSI showed us how to protect us from being hacked!
https://youtube.com/watch/...6 -
My new workstation is ready 💪🏼
Table top: http://m.ikea.com/us/en/...
Sit/stand electric frame: https://autonomous.ai/diy-smart-des...
Shelf: http://m.ikea.com/us/en/...
Shelf legs: http://m.ikea.com/us/en/...
2 -
Mary Christmas to all of you and remember not to connect to production when you’re drunk.
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen -
If an AI gets advanced enough to not require human support it will also be advanced enough to either just pamper us, or replace us.
But I think that long before that we will have neural interfaces that brings us to the next level so the AI will be part human ;)7 -
Meetings. I don't know how management people get anything done, but the time I spend in meetings counts completely opposite, in terms of productivity.
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that moment you realize that US embassy's website is built on wordpress.
if you want to check https://whatcms.org//...2 -
devRant app should be Open Source for us to help in the development
I think A LOT of us would try to bring ideas and improvements to the app and service overall :)11 -
We have a client who calls us right after sending an email in order to inform us that she sent an email. Guess she doesn't know anything about notifications!5
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Happy International Worker's/Labour/May Day! Let us all remember those that fought and died for our rights and got us weekends, 8 hour work days etc.
3 -
Windows restrict us from going out of the box (house), and allow us to see the world only through the window, sitting in.4
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Gotta hand it to a faculty at my college. She is the best teacher, ever! Period.
She is pretty lenient, understanding, and always supports us and helps us.
She taught us Data Structures and the only thing that was bad was us students not giving as much effort as she gave to teach us.
She was so well that it always felt that we weren’t doing well enough.
Her subject was the only one in which every student passed!!
And still now, although she no longer teaches us, which hopefully changes next semester, I still love to go to talk to her about various things I do in programming and computers overall.
M just gonna say it...
U. R. The. Best.!!!! 😎☺️😊8 -
Ohhh, I get it. Apple thinks it isn't getting enough money from us by selling us one iMac, so it wants to sell us a second one by making the first one's memory physically non-upgradeable via soldered memory even though the software says it _could_ be upgraded.2
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Thousands of books, tutorial and tons of resourcew which are to guide us, make us feel more lost.
Being a noobie dev is not easy.4 -
Does anyone else think that phone manufacturers are scamming us with higher specs like 6Gigs of RAM and 16 MP Camera..? Most of us dont even use those 3 GB .. let alone 6..18
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See? And you were worried it would take our jobs away from us. It's still got a lot to learn!
I mean, you, developers, are fucked. It's us, Performance Engineers, whose asses are safe
15 -
I hate how people automatically assume anything coming out of China is spyware. Because the US and EU have such good reputations for preserving privacy right?2
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When you are italian but you want a laptop with a US keyboard....
... all the shop online (with less than 10€ of shipping cost) become empty.
Fuck.10 -
I always wonder why the IT guys seem to be short tempered when dealing with dev related issues.
Now I understand...
For a few days I have to help my colleague setting up his new project and dear Lord...
I thought I have enough patience because I am a woman...
This guy is very very junior, I couldn't get any input/ideas from him when debugging
Dear god, help us because I am the only one with enough experience in this project.11 -
I am not a US citizen or an expert in law, so my questions are:
- Do you think this RESTRICT act that will potentially ban VPN use will be passed?
- Is the restriction only applied to those who use Tiktok or general use?
- Corporates also use some kind of internal VPN, is this included in the ban?
- How much dumber the gov is trying to be?
https://beincrypto.com/vpn-users-ri...7 -
Instagram should adapt devrant's filtering! Give us the choice of algorithm, recent, and top. Give us back our freedom! 😂3
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That feeling when everyone on devrant is shitting EU for Internet censorship while I'm here worrying about my country's future when they implemented Syaria Law. Very torn about it to be honest.6
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Apparently they knew how to program in bible (partial translation of a traditional passover song below):
If He had brought us out from Egypt,
and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had carried out judgments against them,
and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols,
and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born,
and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth,
and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us,
and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
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My C# teacher. From all the beginning CS classes that I have taken she is the only that I really respect. She took the time to teach us how operators work, took the time to teach us Pseudo code, and made us code using just a pen and paper. I bought my laptop (instead of a desktop) to code along her in classes. She would ask us how to solve something. Gave us like 5 min to think about it, and then we would answer it, and she would translate our solution to code making comments for us to fully understand what was going on.2
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Anyone know of a good vps company (like digitocean) that is not based in the US?
Currently using DO but want to switch because of the ruling (net neutrality).25 -
Recently changed up my keyboard and bought a US style instead of my usual UK style, but changed it in Windows so I still have all my keys where I expect them.
But how the hell do you guys live with the tiny ass enter button? My pinkie is bigger than it! -
!rant - well maybe
I really wonder what is going to be the end product concerning Deno and TypeScript when it deals to managing dependencines. Thus far the general idea is to have a deps.ts file for which the dependencies required are fetched through a url, cached into the project and then imported from that file onwards.
This seems interesting to me, and I would venture to say that it eliminates some of the pain points from running Node applications, we all know about the dread caused by overly large node_modules folders, but would y'all say this is the right approach? rather than stopping people from generating a large pool of dependencies, it seems that the issue would continue to persist, but it would just come from the internet during runtime rather than from living in the file system of the application.
Either way, I still remain a big fan of Ryan Dahl and his creations and can't wait to see Deno stable enough to test out on a couple of projects.2 -
Client: we would like a fully featured web app with a companion mobile app. Here's what we want it to do
Us: ok nice. What's your budget for this?
Client: $5k
Us: ...6 -
dfox, trogus, can you give us information about the success (or failure) of the new financing? I think a lot of us who care about this app are interested in this.11
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Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major... -
Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days? -
Testing the waters of how much devRant I can read while still remaining humble and open-minded... just kidding, y'all are cool :^)4
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As a developer, the longest I've worked in a row was 15 hours, from 8am to 11pm. We had to migrate/onboard a project and after we thought everything is done, the client told us about some extra functionality which was "urgent" and he couldn't tell us the months we prepared the migration -.- But it wasn't that hard and our boss was really nice. He stayed with us, even he couldn't really help us, bought us some Pizza, paid for taxis back home and we could stay home or come late to work the next day. And fortunately, that doesn't occur regularly in my company.3
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Spent 3 hours yesterday debugging a process in the business that's tied together with my software. Only to find out they actually meant they were printing to the wrong printer 😥🤔1
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Client : Make us those light weight version or lite, whatever it's called.
Me : Well... ok.
Client : So... it's gonna be you who will hit the gym or us ? -
Ok story number 2, this one takes place back when I was at Uni.
We had a group project where we had to make a basic website. Nothing fancy, just basic HTML/CSS/JS.
We were a group of 3, one of the guys did a fairly good job with the CSS, he made a really good looking banner/footer and a kind of ‘featured’ page which looked awesome.
But the other guy... his contribution was the ‘contact us’ page, which consisted of a totally static table with dummy info and an embedded Google map showing the location of our fake car dealership.
Meanwhile I wrote all the Javascript, complete with a fake in-memory database containing our car data for displaying on the home page. Even had basic filtering. I made sure to mention in the peer review that I felt like he could have done more. -
Dear the jackarse the wrote our highschool ComSci course.
Go fuck yourself. Pascal is deprecated long ago, no-one using it but you. You are dragging us down on the programming yet you want us to follow up "the great 4.0 revolution" while feeding us garbage from like what, the 90s? Please consider switching to some modern language, not necessarily the C family but please be something modern. And teach us to use the command line.
For the love of god
PTH6 -
"I hate corporation, they hate us, they collect data on us", says the person who supports increasing the government, aka the largest monopoly and bureaucratically run corporation.4
-
There is a serious possibility that our team will need to deploy into prod on a Friday because of a regulatory deadline and 3rd parties not being ready.
God help us -
https://youtube.com/watch/...
I honestly don't believe it is really true and if it is, I don't think google listened in the backround or even cortana did, but it was youtube itself.
But still, pretty creepy and maybe listening does not work like in real time, but it is working. Slowly. Hidden. Precisely.1 -
Tell me, the US isn't completely fucked up country and I will show you out...
I will just leave this here
https://cnet.com/news/...#
Still wondering tho, what the fuck is wrong with the word "dummy"...
The only thing that is wrong about these words is the people telling that they are wrong.8 -
Since most of us are caffeine heads here (including me), I felt like sharing this here
http://bbc.com/news/...
"US teen died after drinking caffeine too quickly"4 -
Alexa, what’s a quarter times 13?
Alexa: One US quarter times 13 is 13 US quarters.
🤦♂️ Alexa, what’s point two five times 13?4 -
For the U.S. users, does it feel weird if you do freelance work and it's another country outsourcing to the U.S.?1
-
A client once asked us to quote rewriting one of their back office applications. He later came back and told us our rates were too high. He was going to look for someone one cheaper but wanted us to manage the development since he valued our opinion.
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Google is trying to handicaped us,,,, it treats us as a kid providing each and everything in plate,,, its lol now we are 60% under surveillance of google.....
""Bhai chate kya ho""
-
Two docker setups. The same image, the same config, the same startup script. In one setup it shows an error, in the other not. Fuck this shit.3
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My high school teacher has literally sent us an email about classroom change instead of walking from one building to another and tell us in person.2
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People interested for a DevRant meet up in Delhi, click the link below and join us. Rn we don't have any resources, but few ppl are down with us. Click the link and help us :D
Join my Slack workspace! https://join.slack.com/t/...3 -
Just received an email from a marketing company in the US stating that:
"Not liking cookies. Use Google analytics instead to track behavior."
And that "Cookies now losing popularity in the US".
rm -rf /2 -
For a class we had to get an internship, the interviewers where quite enthousiastic. "So, when can you guys let us know whether you would like to join us?"
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So if you like among us or not, that new hide and seek mode has an absolute banger of a soundtrack. Especially the third part.1
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We recently encountered a strange Mongo DB behaviour or rather strange Mongo Shell behaviour.
Read how it made us scratch our heads.
Check out: https://prakhar.xyz/how-mongo-gave-...4 -
So after requesting (more like begging) the guys higher up to give us proper heads up about a piece of work... They just threw the same 2 day worth of work to us saying we have 3 hours to do it... Sometimes I think they just do this kind of thing on purpose to wind us up...
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Anyone using TabNine—especially the Pro version?
Impressed, or meh?
What language/IDEs have your tried?6 -
Is there a website which includes leading states in the total electoral vote count? Not just won states?5
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Mu first two bosses were cool. Always defended us when top management come down. Will show with evidence that it is others (non-IT personnel in other departments) are clearly at fault and not us. But when they leave, will tear us a new one because lets face it, we were not that innocent 😅. Still, always kept us clean and out of trouble from the big guys.
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I remember that when I was in pre- school they actually taught us to count from 0. I wonder how many of us from there came to be programmers
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School is forcing us to use their own git server for a project. Doesn't allow us to use ssh. Im done with this school...1
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A prayer from a colleague:
Our silicone god which art in the SSD
Italic be thy name
Thy computing come
Thy bus be done
On the screen
As it is on the hdd
Give us this day our daily blue screen
And forgive us our keystrokes, as we
forgive our keyboards.
And lead us not into restarts, but
deliver us from memory leaks: For thine is the
memory, and the cpu, and the
bus, for ever. Amen
Beautiful is it not :) -
It’s their reaction that incited so called hate and so far as I can tell it was meant to
https://news.google.com/articles/...18 -
https://news.google.com/articles/...
Doesn’t more stack overflow tags seem more like people were having problems with it ?41 -
i had have thinking about a project where a developers community , work us together and meet us , like a coworking , but online , share us desktop , videoconference , real time meetups about coding , freelance or enterprise dev , share projects , but human touch around , not forum , something more social , share locations etc etc ....... it sounds cool?
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Obligatory !rant, I had been I think about 6 jobs. My current job is still new to consider best/worst boss yet but in my entire career, my old job was the best boss ever. Looked out for all of us, care for us, fought for us, pushed us to do better and rewarded us for being exceptional. Unfortunately I left because of upper management's stupid decisions for financial reasons. I won't go back for my old job but I wouldn't mind working for my old boss again.
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Mass notification vendors lack of understanding that to create value for clients they must turn raw data into information into knowledge into wisdom. Shoveling oceans of raw data at us does not impress us.
-
Speaking of repeat Google
https://news.google.com/articles/...
Bravo Madonna
Additionally tell me everyone wrong with this picture if you can’t you’re a dumbass
6 -
Attends Game Jam, gets placed right next to esport event speakers, and apparently it's an open game jam where People can come watch us.. We have to use Defold which none of us have used, which makes us All look as idiots.. What the fuck, also the host arrived 2 hours late because he was hungover...
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