I was graced by my boss to attend a training for key users of a CRM system we resell, as a technical advisor.

The training is scheduled from 0915 - 1700
Can somebody come and kill me please?

election period always makes me cynical (more cynical than I already am that is).

Apocalyptic fantasies are indulgent because they suggest a catastrophe that might end the world. The dull reality is that the world doesn't end, and you just have to go about your life with a new standard.

I was arguing on Twitter (obvious mistake) with an idiot who insisted nobody says "assembly" because the language is called "assembler". I told him assembler is used to refer to the program that converts assembly instructions to ELF, and that referring to the language as assembly is common, and it's even used in the gcc documentation.
His response below. I gotta say this sums up 90% of my interactions as a female engineer and researcher....

Feel free to make fun of me on this one.

> be me.
> Write a function that calls a second function to get a returned value and continue work.
> That second function always returns null no matter what changes are made.
> Spend half hour scratching head.
> That second function has this written at the end

return null;
//return $returnVal;

> fml.

I was tone policed and constructively dismissed from my tech lead role.

Cat of the day. Ostream said I should call it Dumbo because of the big ears

Whoever invented the "conversation view" in email clients, hopefully they don't die of anything boring.

Today I learned.

In php if you cast a string to array you get an array with one value: the string.

Strippin' and renovatin' my kitchen,
Finding skeletons in the walls,
They drilled right through powered wire,
When central heating was installed.

3 more screw-pierced wires
Hiding behind the dry-wall,
how the hell was this certified?
Amateurs

How hard can it be to reference a file on a mounted windows network drive with UNC path to the java command? Seems like everyone uses the same env variable but always different syntax. Sometimes it's
-Dsmth=file://\\net.work.path\sub.xml, then it's -Dsmth=file:///\\net.work.path\\sub.xml, then
-Dsmth="file:///\\\\net...xml"
and none of them work?! 😤

Aah, I love the smell of being blamed for risking the deadline because of taking longer than usual in implementing an integration to a schizophrenic, rape victim legacy system where I’m on my own to find out why it’s having violent diarrhea after feeding it a small dropdown menu, because no one knows what has been done or what happens where in the intestines of this abomination

It's been a bit since I last used this platform, but I recently got a "new" phone (as in it's new relative to the one I've been using) only to find the devRant iOS app is no longer on the US app store. It doesn't seem like the tools used to create ipas from installed apps works on devRant (I believe they're built around 32-bit apps and we are way past that now) so now I just have this device with an app that seemingly no longer exists.

...cool I guess?

I bet we have people working in the same office that don’t know that they see each others Rants😅

“Hey what’s this issue? Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
[login page alert displaying “your email or password is incorrect, please try again.”]

How do people like this live? How do they not forget how to breathe or eat?

Lawyer maths is different to actual maths, and it's fucking confusing.

I really miss the dark theme.

I actually found a use for Outlook's scummy default behaviour to open links in Edge and not the default browser.

On my company laptop I mainly use Librewolf because it allows installing plug-ins despite group policy. I only use Edge for Azure DevOps and company portals because MS SSO doesn't work with Librewolf for some reason.

Because Outlook disregards the OS settings and uses Edge by default, MS software forms a sort of bubble, and I can freely set Librewolf as my default browser.

After only having done linux and web projects for the past few years, our company took over an old WindowsForms program written by a guy who only (poorly) knows C. It's some of the most foul code I've ever seen... And I'm the only one in the company who knows how to write C#...

1. I have to learn German (as a language).
2. I have undiagnosed and subclinical ADHD.
3. I have a job that partially needs my brain for 9 hours of the day.
4. I'm coming off of antidepressants. (Life has been hard lately. Needed a little help to cope.)
5. I need to finish learning German in about 2-3 months.
6. I don't enjoy interacting with people.

Any suggestions for what can help with the goal? Software, web apps, services, etc. Specially good non-violent and non-depressing tv-series.

Great, a new tool which does the thing, that i do with that other tool just 1% more efficient. Also it integrates deeply into that other tool i am already using. I just need to install a whole new CLI, and python and nodejs to use it.
FCK OFF

There’s a very small crossover between “programming problems I need solved” and “programming problems ChatGPT can solve”. I’ve tried maybe 10 times and got a good answer possibly once of those ten.

Wtf is a whipped cream charger???

I'm convinced no one really understands OAuth2, probably not even the creators.

Every blog, articles and tutorial, you have people saying don't do this, don't do that. Basically, no one agrees on a single implementation.

Want to use passwords for auth in a first party system you fully own? Apparently, that's unsafe.
Hmmm, what about magic links for passwordless auth? Also not safe you say?
Okay, I believe Okta just wants people to use their services, nothing else.

Mount an azure file share in an app service container? Sounds handy. Nice clicky-draggy wizard to set it up, pick your file share, type a path to mount it to, hit save.

And does it work?

Does it buggery.

And is there a helpful error message so you can see what you've done wrong?

In a pig's arse is there a helpful fucking error message.

"Application error", and a link to some "diagnostic resources" that displays the exact same error message, including the same link, so a link to itself, in an infinite recursive loop of rank, inhuman stupidity.

Let me see what's in the logs. Absolutely fuck all. No, wait! There's the html markup for the fucking useless error message I'm looking at in the browser. So the UI is telling me to fuck off, and the logs are recording that I have been told to fuck off.

But this is Azure. So there isn't just one place to look at the logs, there are many places to look at the logs. And they are all geologically slow and most of them don't work.

It's probably a firewall issue. I'll have a look later on if I can be arsed, but frankly I'd rather be performing cunnilingus on a lion.

I found it!!!
The unicorn of nonsensical datetime formatting... In large scale official, current use!

It's actually dd/mm/yyyy !

Am I the only one who's somewhat creeped out by LinkedIn profiles written in 3rd person?

Sufficiently advanced XML is indistinguishable from satire

I went into a sex shop once. They didn't have any sex. So I left.

So I’m very biased against JavaScript. However, beliefs need to be challenged. If you feel like it, convince me that this language is worth using as part of the tech stack.

User having a problem with a page in a web application : -...I'm attaching a screenshot of what it looks like.
Me: - Some scripts seem to be cached so you might need to reload the page.
User: - Now that I reloaded the page for the third time it seems to work. Then I tried another case and then it gives me the same response as in the previously attached screenshot.
Me: - Was it in a separate Firefox window?
User: - What do you mean by a separate Firefox Window?

Different professions really speak different languages.