Nothing is worse than building the wrong thing, perfectly right!

Collector's edition

Catch a sysadmin's laptop unguarded. Put fakeupdate.net on windows 10. I never saw so much pain on a man's face. Priceless!

Q: So, what's your favorite music band?
A: RUN CMD

Never underestimate the end user

So, a new web project came for some small layout changes, nothing to fancy.
It was on the hands of another company and the client didn't want to work with them anymore. Basic Magento with a custom theme.

As I was wondering through files, I found out that the old devs echoed, in ".phtml" files, contents from ".txt" files located in base directory. I was shocked and went forward with it. The core of Magento had tons of this "echo"s. Several minutes later I found out that they "coded" another administration panel besides Magento, that had "authentication" with hard-coded user/pass inside index.php and a session start. That admin panel just rewrote the contents of .txt files using textareas. Why/what/when the fuck..they've forgotten the admin password?!?!!!!

This was like 3-4 years ago.
Worst project i've seen, ever...

Coming to work from vacation
$> git pull
OMFG

Recruiters and devs in a nutshell

Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!

Q: Why do girls wear purple clothes?
A: So that they can say they wear #906090!

Well played Google, well played...

The 5 stages of development
Shock, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

The task failed successfully!

BusyBox knows how software development works

At laptop, building a complex task and have my Atom editor opened. Client arrived at my desk.

"That's why the development is so slow. You have to paint all those words."

It doesn't work, but look how beautiful it is.