I turned on slow query log just for funsies and was immediately humbled.

Looks like I've got my next sprint lined up.

Seriously, ChatGPT?? What other use could you have in this historic moment?? Guess OpenAI forgot to train opportunism into its models.

Damn brain fog returns. What’s the best stim to get out of this that isn’t cocaine, and I already take adderall and no I’m not taking a higher dose lol

I can’t do shit

My deepest darkest secret is when I talk to Japanese people at the office, most of the time I don't understand what they're saying.

I want to pass along some unsolicited advice to junior developers either because I grew through it, or I've had to deal with developers who behaved poorly.
Your ego will hurt you FAR more than your junior coding skills. Nobody expects you to be the best early in your career, so don't act like you are.
Working independently is a must. It's okay to ask questions, but ask sparingly.
Working code != good code. You are an author. Write your code so that it can be read. Accept criticism that may seem trivial such as renaming a variable or method. If someone is suggesting it, it's because they didn't know what it did without further investigation.
These are just a few quick tips from my experience. Others may chime in with theirs, and some may dispute mine. I wish you all fruitful careers!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What in shit world was that last paragraph:

I'm reviewing a PR and it's easy to detect which functions were created with an AI: the ones that have comments.

At first, you're just a baby who cries and poops.
You outgrow the baby clothes, the crib and the stroller.
Then, you're just a child who plays, runs around and starts school.
You grow tired of your toys and are no longer allowed in the ballpit.
Then, you're just a teenager who curses, sulks and defies your parents.
You grow tired of teen music, stow your stuff away and move out.
Then, you're just a student who finally gets to drive a car and vote, but has no money.
You get a job, a place of your own, start dating and fall in love.
Then you're just a noob at everything you do; new at work, newly in love; feeling your way through life.
You have children and no longer have time to spare for anything else.
Then, you're just a parent taking parental leaves, attend parent-teacher meetings and neglect your friends.
You're no longer welcome in the children's games, or even to talk to them.
Then, you're just an "old fart" or "bitch" who's only good when you give them dough.
You help the children move out, you retire and have grandchildren.
Then, you're just a senior citizen who talks about nothing but your grandchildren and go window shopping outside the pharmacy.
You're hearing and vision get impaired, you get ailments and lose your memory as well as your intellect.
Then, you're just dead.

So, at what stage of life are you really somebody?

i'm happy to share with you, skyRant, a devRant client is now available in the playstore.

the real devRant app may have been removed from app stores. But devRant will never die!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/...

Today, I got startled by my own reflection.

Looks like my subscription to devRant++ has just been cancelled in Google Play Store... and it's not posdtble to renew, because the item doesn't exist anymore.
Supported since 2017... now status gone 😐

Writing straight up Java in Jenkins pipelines never ceases making me feel like ive done something horrible :)

Dunno if the feeling is at all justified or not.

Why are some ketchup bottle labels upside down??

How is the weekend going?
If you had to pick a movie title to describe the weekend, what would it be?

https://devrant.com/rants/10622247

So... it's break time.

I just was eating fries with ranch... dipped my fingers in the ranch as if they were holding fries...then immediately hit Ctrl + z.
Took me a few seconds to realise why it didn't work.

There’s a street near me called Flash Drive

The floor is java

Recruiter wants a java reactive programmer. WTF. Am I the asshole?

I'm not really active here recently but thought it would be nice to share a cool website I ran into: https://refactoring.guru/design-pat...

Imo every developer who aspires to be more professional should have it in its bookmarks and ocassionally look into it when facing a code design dilema.

Its my birthday rn 🦁🎉

TLDR; of my current job:

Deal with shit that nobody wants to deal with, if I manage to make something good out of it, prepare that the credit will be stolen.

At a previous workplace, people wanted me to deal with shit that they wanted to blame me for it, so it’s kind of an improvement. But I wish I could find a normal job where I either do normal work or just have someone that would have my back and just say “idkhow did this” or “let’s bring them to this meeting as they might be able to help with the cool stuff too”.

Also, remember that one of my parents has cancer? I won’t be able to be there for the surgery, due to things out of my control. A lot of things feel out of control lately…

In my case, the most unrealistic deadline was when I was put on a project for 30 person days in 2008. The project had been running for about 6 months at that point.

I spoke to the project manager about my tasks and she told me to finish the fat client. So I immersed myself in the sources. And I was horrified to realize that not only was it not even a POC, but the performance was lousy to say the least. It took about 70 (sic!) seconds to start the program, read in about 20 records from a database and display them as a hierarchical structure.

I asked the PM when I was supposed to have finished my work, and her response was, "Yesterday."
"Very funny," I replied.
"No, really," she said, "the deadline was yesterday."

It took me an afternoon to speed up the fat client startup to 6 seconds. And then it took us another two weeks or so to identify the processes in discussions with the technical project manager. Because that didn't exist yet either.

About 1.5 years after the deadline, the software system - consisting of the fat client, mainframe modules and purchased software - was stable enough to be rolled out.

have you ever learned something you wish you hadn't and also what was it

OH NOOOOSSSS! The next pandemic! H5N1 is gonna get you!

Personally, I don't give a cluck. Tired of bullshit to scare and control everyone.

the urge of every generation to make a difference will collapse the system

I hope this is not illegal content, as I don't want to "Advertise" here but would like to share my first game on Steam with the community, as I am really proud of it.
There's a free playtest soon and dev opinions are much appreciated! Let me know guys what you think. https://store.steampowered.com/app/...

Pythonistas knowing that to talk to a native speaker, they need to go to Australia :

can you feel the walls closing in on you yet

I’ve worked here 3 years and still have no idea what anyone is talking about when any other team does their sprint demo on the same product I work on.