Today I have no meetings! 🎉🍾

So stressed I can't concentrate to do anything. This is fine 🔥🙂

I can imagine the client throwing a dart at a calendar and saying "This will be the deadline!"

Coffee mugs should have an alarm for when the coffee is about to get cold. I'm too focused on work to care about the coffee.

Sprint 1 of being a team leader. I wake up in the middle of the night worried about how to manage these newly arrived juniors.

Fuck, I'm now supposed to lead a team.

Did notifs stop working?
The end of devRant is nigh 😢

Big boss: Last year we had much more revenue and profits than our expectations, and this success is thanks to all of you. Thank you! You made an excellent work! Impressive!
Some employee: Can we all get a raise?
Big boss: Wtf that question again? No way!

Shit, are we already in February?

Spammers are so repetitive that I don't know if I should downvote them as spam or as repost.

Buttons that say "Yes, please" should be "Yes".
"No, thanks" should be "No".
"Not now" should be "Never".
I am using software, not talking to people, there's no need to be nice.

Mummy I do not want to go to work today 😴

A "hotfix" that also includes new features

Medium priority
High priority
Urgent priority
Immediate priority
Maximum priority
Absolute priority

Did I get the ordering right? This is hard

Christmas carols everywhere 🤢

How could I pay this!?

Some nice comments about how fucked up is the world of Android development.
Sometimes I feel like a clown having to pass though Google's hoops that change every five minutes. 🤡

Why some websites prevent pasting in the password field of the login page? Wtf?

Tomorrow is Monday 😭

Java 17 and I see methods in the API that apparently were deprecated back then in Java 1.1! Shouldn't deprecation be the precursor to being eventually removed? Or is backwards compatibility so much important that is ok to have shit in this limbo state for decades?

Why it takes so much time?! I'm compiling just an android app, not a whole kernel!

What am I doing with my life.

Dear company, stop installing shit on my work laptop! I guess you love these antivirus and tracking software but I can't do my job with so much slowness.

I heard "we must be agile" so many times at work that I don't know what that means anymore.

That feeling when a class has more lines of analytics/tracking than useful code :/

Imagine if everybody would actually answer with the truth to the question "How are you?", instead of going with the classic "fine, thank you" polite answers.

"What are your strengths/weaknesses?" and similar questions.

"I think you will be on this company for many years."
Depending on the company, this can be a compliment or a threat.

I've already forgotten what a week or a month is. Now I measure time in sprints.

Stop being a developer and choose another profession