Thanks Windows for deleting my entire fucking Ubuntu partition in your latest update. I didnt really need any of those projects I was working on. It's not like I have deadlines or anything.

PS.
Go fuck yourself

1. Go to office!
2. Make coffee!!
3. Start computer.
4. Get to wo.."Windows must restart in order to install some updates".
4. 3 hours later => "Working on updates 68% n/ Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while."
4. Fuck this, I'm going home.

I miss Linux...

"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*

fuck!!! today I have fallen for the windows is updating prank
Co workers opened the fake windows update website, disconnected the keyboard and mouse
let's just say I sat there for a really loooong time.. cursing windows

Client: "Happy New Year 2018! Wish you a very successful and productive happy new year :)"

Me: "Oh Thank you! I wish you...."

Client: "Any update on the feature I have requested?"

Me: "Ah yes. I would love you give you an update. By the way, Happy n...."

Client: "Do you think the it can be released before midnight?"

I stopped replying. Fuck everyone and everything.

Happy New Year to everyone here.

Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt

You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?

Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.

What seems to be the problem? Oh, is your wordpress site hacked/infected with malware?

So I guess you decided to disable updates because it might break your shitty little site? And I guess you thought those warnings you got from me and multiple colleagues about what could happen when you didn't update your wordpress bullshit weren't that serious?

Hold on, you want *US* to restore *YOUR* hosting backups?

Hahahahahaha-no.

Go clean up your own fucking bullshit. But, before you click that restore button, please take a cactus, carve 'I am a stupid wordpress cunt' into it, dip it in a bathtub of with blood mixed-infected cum and shove it up your ass.

Oh yeah I'm aware that that won't help your situation but it might keep you from reproducing and at least it'll give me some satisfaction.

Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!

FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

- Password can't contain less than 3 chars
- Password can't contain more than 12 chars
- Password must contain only alphabetical and numerical chars
- Password must contain at least one uppercase letter
- Password can't contain a sequence of repetitive chars
- You already used this password in the past
- Password can't contain parts of passwords already used in the past
- Password can't contain your name, birthday or any other personal information
- Password can't be an anagram
- This password is too weak

"Remember that you have to update your password every 6 months".

Who the fuck has enough imagination to invent a new password that meets all these requirements every fucking 6 months?
And if so, how the fuck you can also remember it?

Fuck off… I don't really need access to my university account, right? 😡

This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.

This happened at my last internship. There was this other intern and he was a TO THE FUCKING MAX windows fanboy and whenever someone said something bad about windows he'd go full rage. Also, he'd sometimes spend half an hour at my desk explaining why windows was the best and Linux sucked.

This one time, I read about a newly discovered windows vulnerability and told the employees so they'd update quickly and they were like ' thanks for the notification mate!' And then that guy came up to me telling that 'Linux also has severe vulnerabilities sometimes'. YES I FUCKING KNOW THAT I'M JUST TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UPDATE FOR THEIR SECURITY YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. I got really mad. Still, fuck that guy.

Reboot to install Linux.
Windows update.
Fuck you.

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

I hope everyone at Microsoft working on Windows 10 dies a horrible death and gets eaten by dogs. FUCK YOU windows!
I have a dual boot machine, logged into windows after a while(months) . Fucker 5 hours to update. Now that it's updated, I did the task I had to do and shifted back to Linux. Now all my other drives, which I didn't so much as touch with windows are fucking read only for some reason!

2 fucking hours spent on trying to find the problem, now I realize thag that after the fuckmaster's update, They reset all my settings and the dicklickin Fast Startup was on again!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WINDOWS TEAM MICROSOFT! CAN'T EVEN PERSIST USER SETTINGS DURING AN UPDATE THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME "ALL YOUR FILES ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT THEM".
Dear head engineer at windows team, or product manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit, JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE WITH A DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIPSHIT!

To install the update make sure the apple watch is connected to a charger.
Dear apple.. how exactly the fuck am i suposed to do that??

Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.

Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up

Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys

Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>

App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`

----------------
I have nothing left to say....

So I'm doing my thing... Suddenly all open windows start closing one by one and computer starts a shut down.. and i realize the windows update is coming..

But like.. can you at least give me a 2 minutes heads up? How the fuck such a process gets approved in microsoft?

"Yeah just close everything and force restart.. it's fine"

When I update my linux I usually keep the terminal to full screen.
Roommates enter :
Friend1: Now what the fuck did you do? What are these lines?
Friend2: It was a good laptop.
Friend3: So ungrateful.
Me: *faceplam*

9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.

Spent 6 days, trying to get a navbar to stick in my iOS webapp while scrolling, no way to get it done.
This morning I installed iOS update 11.3, problem solved without changing a single line of CSS...

FUCK YOU APPLE

Suck dicks Microsoft... Get choked.
All I wanted to do was to uninstall this piece of crapware.

And now you're telling me i need to UPDATE the installer in order to uninstall.

What the fuck, what obscure substances have you been smoking lately? imbicile numbskull maniacs.

Dear Apple,
WHY DA FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD 4+ GB EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TO UPDATE X-FUCKING-CODE? A goddamn patch would be more than sufficient.

Update on my student job :

Today they put me on a new project.
Basically, I have to update a database of buildings owned or rented by the company. They provided me a lot of data including the address of each building but I need the GPS coordinates.
They wanted me to do it manually, copy pasting from Google maps (info: there's 75 buildings).
So I wrote a small script using an API to automate that, took me 20 minutes.

My colleagues were like "how the fuck is that possible ? We always do it manually, always takes ages !"

TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

I like how Microsoft added a FAKE "Do not auto update" button in Windows 10

Client: When will you give me an update on this feature

Me: In two weeks

Client: okay that’s fine

Client proceeds to call me everyday asking me for an update🤨🤨

Fuck you sir.

-made a password-protected zip to backup my homedir
-launch the update to Fedora 28
-oh look Jessica Jones season 2 is available on Netflix

...

Some hours later

-Fedora 28 boots
-copy back my backup.zip
-shit what's the password already
-proceed to bruteforce the zip
-let's go back to Netflix while it's doing the job

...

Some hours later

-password: test
-proceed to self-fuck

*deploys new VPS*
Click clack tap.. alright, done.
*notices that I accidentally made an Ubuntu 14.04*
Well shit... Guess I'll have to update that immediately to 18.04 then.
*logs in, immediately disables SSH password auth*
# systemctl restart sshd
> systemctl: command not found.
What the fuck..?
What was the command for that old init again.. >_<
# /etc/init.d/ssh restart

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS UBUNTU STILL USING THAT OLD INIT?!! Goddamit, Canonical living up to the philosophy of its Debian counterpart indeed!

FUCKING TELEGRAM FUCK YOU STAY IN YOUR FUCKING API DOCUMENTATION AND STOP FUCKING TESTING YOUR SHIT ON A PRODUCTION SYSTEM WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FUCK OFF WHY AM I EVEN DEVELOPING SHIT FOR YOUR PLATFORM ANYMORE WHEN FOLLOWING YOUR DOCUMENTATION LEADS TO FUCKING ERRORS AND WE HAVE TO DECOMPILE AND REVERSE ENGINEER YOUR FUCKING "OPEN SOURCE" APPS BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN BOTHER TO FUCKING UPDATE THE SOURCE CODE ONCE A YEAR WHAT THE FUCK

Thank you for your attention

Client calls at 3AM, telling me an issue he reported which I told him was already solved in a new update hasn't been solved. He tells me that I'm lying because the issue is still there. The son of a bitch didn't even update the flicking app. Sincerely, fuck you.

Fleksy, if you're going to tell me through a fucking annoying notification that you won't run unless I update Google play services (those can go fuck themselves, I'm not updating that fucking malware) one more goddamn time, I'll fucking exterminate you.

Seriously, YouTube: fuck off

Just because i don't want to update an app with shady permission requests, I now have to wait 30 seconds EVERY TIME I WANT TO USE IT

I'm trying to Uninstall Visual Studio 2017 and the uninstaller is asking me to update the installer before I can proceed.

What type of fuck is this Microsoft?

Please do not ever add a rantMap update, it would be creep as fuck. Thank you for your time.

> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive

Fuck you Microsoft

Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?

I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!

And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!

Dear Developers at Microsoft,
Why the FUCK does windows try to update EVERY TIME I boot my VM even though it fails EVERY FUCKING TIME? Can't it fucking learn that it's fucking broken and doesn't work? No? OK...

Lies. Just pure lies.

I had to make 65GB disk space just to update this POS.

Fuck you Apple.

Apple flips the bird to devs again...

So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.

“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”

Ok... update Xcode...

“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”

WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”

When you get a system update and think it's Oreo, but it's just a security update. Fuck you Lenovo

This better be the bestest update in the whole wide world

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING IS WORKING SINCE I MADE THIS FUCKING UPDATE

FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK YOU MICROSOFT

```
Your branch is behind 'origin/master' by 562 commits, and can be fast-forwarded.
(use "git pull" to update your local branch)
```

`$ git pull`

```
251 files changed, 103274 insertions(+), 1361 deletions(-)
```
okay fuck.

I wish people that made desktop apps would consider cpu and ram usage. "Oh I've just opened... ...let me index your vendor folder and check that I need to update at the same time whilst you only have 20% cpu left and 2GB of RAM remanding :D" no; fuck off. Why don't you wait until there's enough CPU power left to check for your update?

are you Windows Update? because you can literally fuck right off and die.

I want to install a game, but I haven't enough space on my disk. Then I want to uninstall VS because I don't code in C# and VS has the most place on my disk. I clicked on uninstall and then come the VS Installer. He needs an update and I don't have enough space on my disk.

Fuck this.

Dear developers, the main reason that I install your shitty apps is to do stuff quicker than through webpage or to log in once. I don't want to install your shitty app just to login every your shitty app update to only see small gui that opens your webpage.

FUCK YOU

!rant

Me: sudo apt-get update

PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.

Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update

PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.

Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.

I love how i finish a project, dont touch ANYTHING for months, then a few months later i try to run it and NOTHING WORKS. I cant start. I cant compile. Now i have to update versions. Now developer mode has to be turned on and restarted phone. Now i have to configure something specific in xcode. Now i have to update xcode. Now it crashes. Now i have to modify something. AND IT NEVWR FUCKING ENDS. I DIDNT TOUCH SHIT SINCE THE LAST TIME I OPENED THIS PROJECT AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FINE. I DIDNT EVEN CHANGE MY PHONE OR PC. I DIDNT EVEN DELETE THE REPOSITORY FROM MY PC. AND BY MAGIC EVERYTHING GOT FUCKED A FEW MONTHS LATER FOR NO REASON. NO. I WILL FUCK YOU. U WONT FUCK ME. FUCK U

Fuck you windows! We were watching a movie and windows accidentally restarted and started to update. I HATE YOU!

Just had Windows pop up with a notification saying “We’ve turned on storage sense for you”. Love it how the default is “When Windows Decides”. Was that why countless users lost their data back in October 2018???

I think I’ll turn that off permanently 😂😂😂

Coworker: hey can you do this?

Me: sure *couple hours later* it's done.

Coworker several hours later: that thing you did completely changed. Can you update it?

*checks the platform we use so non devs can create web pages* All of my code was erased and I have to restart and add even more functionality. Why the actual fuck would you hire web developers if you're just going to have other employees use a poorly built tool to build pages. Every fucking time something breaks in the shitty fucking app, I have to fix it. Or if it doesn't do some crazy functionality, I have to hack code in there to do it in the ugliest way. Fuck tools like this. Fuck companies who make money off of these tools/use these tools. And fuck the developers who make these shitty tools that give real web developers so much frustration.

Love my android. But oh my fucking stars in a pickle jar... I just did a damn software update. The fuck you mean I have one??? Wasn't even 5 minutes ago. Why are you making me do this???

Thanks to Microsoft and Windows for making my work day one hour shorter. FUCK OFF WITH THIS FORCED UPDATE/RESTART SHIT!!!! Who the fuck in Microsoft thought that this was a smart idea? Fucking assholes. And yes, I did tell it to only update outside office hours. Doesn't work apparently.
Luckily it's easy to explain to my boss why I had one hour of not being productive.

Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!

I just decided to do something productive today. Well... Fuck my life

Windows update fails with error 0x1235

Me in Technet: Hey, ms, i got this error. How do i fix it?
MS: Install the Troubleshooting for Windows Update and follow the instructions. Before that, create a system restore just in case. Also, if the problem persists, go to your boot menu -> troubleshooting options and follow the instructions.
Hope it helps.
Found it helpful? Yes No

Other random people: just rename $WINDOWS ~BT to anything or delete it. Then continue the process.

.
.

I followed the random people advice and worked.

Fuck MS.

If you're using snapchat you might want to go on it immediately and change your privacy settings.
New update came out, they added a map with everybody's locations down to a couple of meters in accuracy... And the feature is on by default for EVERYONE to see, not just your friends.

What the actual fuck were they thinking?? Just think of all the ways this can go wrong.

2 things I can not understand.
1)how my programming works.
2)what the fuck this new update of what's app about??? A status? fuck!

Worst update ever. Fuck I can not handle videos and photos of people who sends useless messages. Fuck!! 😫😫😫😫

I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

Thank you windows update and Lenovo for trying to update my bios and failing in the process.

Now this computer that doesn’t even show bios. Fucking bitch ass pieces of shit.

Stay the fuck away from my bios windows, you shit eating trash of an os.

Honestly fuck Android development and gradle. If I have a perfectly fine build from 6 months ago I expect it to still be working when I need to update two lines. FML

what the last windows update did to me:

- BROKE the fucking SPEAKERS so i have NO SOUND even WITH HEADPHONES. the only pair that work is a bluetooth one that i used before

- RESET ALL OF MY BIOS SETTINGS. this includes intel haxm so now the FUCKING AVD WON'T WORK.

- BROKE my FINGERPRINT SENSOR, so now i cant use the side of my pinky to login.

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.
GO SUCK BILL GATES'S COCK.
DIE IN A HOLE.

Wtf windows I leave my computer for 30 fucking minutes and you just initiate an update. No confirmation box that I want to shut down my entire computer for an hour. Fuck you windows

goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.

FUCK YOU, WINDOWS UPDATE! FUCK YOU TOO CISCO FOR NOT SOLVING YOUR ISSUES WITH MICROSOFT!!

What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?

Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.

Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.

YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.

FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.

FUCK
FUCKING BULLSHIT!
WHY THE FUCK DID I UPDATE MY RASPBERRY PI! FUCK, I CANT SSH INTO IT ANYMORE! ITS BOOTED AND THE FUCKING PI HOLE PROGRAMM WORKS BUT I CANT ACCESS IT TO SEE IF EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FINDE (which it totally isn't) FFFFFFFF

Fuck Xcode!
Why does every single and small update need to be at least 5GB? And why am I required to update you so fucking often? You are not fixing anything, so don’t even pretend to! Most of the time it is just to support the latest .x update in iOS. Can’t be too hard to update the SDK without updating the entire shit IDE! 😡

And guess what: I JUST UPDATED YOU, SO WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING NEW VERSION??? HOW CAN I WAIT 45 MINUTES AND AFTER THAT YOU DID NOTHING!?! HOW CAN I HAVE THE SAME VERSION AS BEFORE??? NOW I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING PEASE OF SHIT 😡😡😡

Right.. time to update branding for a work project, which I don't normally touch.

So I open Fork, open the local copy, pull from remote, and...... Well, see the screen snip.

🤔😶😭

It must be so nice to work with people who ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about their codebases. I, unfortunately, can only imagine that..

Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.

Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!

Now back to programming...

Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!

Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.

WTF chrome/google?! Fuck you & your new designs & features!!
Anyone else got forced new grouping for tabs after the update?! Hey, you can group tabs in.. I know, I just don't want to!! It's fugly and annoying and counterproductive..
It used to work to change flags to not have that 'feature' but I can no longer force the old layout for tabs even with flags.. :/ It's driving me nuts..

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

So Microsoft, you tell me that there is a known bug, if you have Windows 10 with the newest update installed on a SSD and Apps running on another hard drive?! And this bugs causes random freezes of the whole PC from time to time?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

It is a common setup nowadays to have a SSD with windows 10 and software on other hard drives and you didn't care to check it before releasing the update? Which I HAVE to download and install?

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!

fuck you WINDOWS UPDATE!!!

Oh look a new chrome update!

*Installs update*

I regret everything!!!!

Come on Google I love material design but fuck me is the new update ugly... Besides the new tab page.

Windows 10 has just decided to reboot my notebook during the installation of Qt... because the updates are more important...

Holy shit.

I went to uninstall Adobe Acrobat because our organization uses another PDF reader and now I keep getting annoying pop-ups from Adobe like "update failed" and "license expired".

This PDF READER... USES 7.1 GIGABYTES OF STORAGE.

We talk about Video games being bloated today but HOLY FUCK. This is literally JUST A PDF READER WHAT THE FUCK.

Can't do screenshot cus work PC.

CEO: Please have the dev ready to update Product on 8/20.
Me: That's premature.
CEO: Okay, let them know they'll be updating the team on 8/20.

Fuck. You.

Had to look something up to reply to a rant, and devRant gets cleared from ram and I lose the rant... FUCK

Update: THANK YOU VIEWED TAB

For fuck sake Facebook test your shit before you update!
Lesson learned, never update Facebook pods ... or even better never use Faceshit!

When using Windows, I really feel like I don't own my computer. Like it'll update automatically without giving a single fuck wether you wish to install these updates on YOUR machine and install what Microsoft wants.

"Sup I'm the Windows update manager, seems like you're in the middle of some important work right now, let me just force reboot your machine and install some crap bloatware"

Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"

What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?

Fuck android studio updates, fuck OpenGL libraries, fuck nvidia graphics on Linux, fuck it all to hell.

These bullshit updates keep breaking stuff in apps, and then the emulator itself gets broken somehow, then I need to run a bullshit shell script I found on some esoteric Arch Linux forum to symlink OpenGL .so libraries on my Linux machine every time I update because fucking OpenGL and nvidia crappy drivers on Linux, which also broke my xrandr configs and segfaulted the xfce4-display app.

Seriously that's horseshit. Linux will never ever ever break through the glass ceiling and become idiot-proof non-tech user friendly like the botnets Winblows and macPrison.

Was busy today doing some house work. Everything was normal till afternoon.

Me thinking of using laptop noticed that there was no laptop

My office laptop and another bag was stolen from my home .

It had most of the production details and source code. Running behind police for help now.

Informed my boss too about this incident.

Will update on what happens tomorrow in office.

Fuck that person who stole my office laptop and destroyed my Peace.

Fuck you Windows!
It fucking started to update while I had to left for hour! My Gimp project is gone, because it had to bloody update. Someone should sue those assholes. Why Linux can wait for you to update and do it without restarting whole computer?! Is it really that hard to do that? Ohh wait, it's Microsoft!

Motherfuck! God I hate xcode worst development environment ever conceived! Have to update it right now to be able to push to my device. Fucking appstore is the worst program ever. How about telling your users what the fuck is going on instead of just sitting there displaying a flash load circle. Gaaaaaahhh I wanted to go home 2 hours ago. Fuck you apple and all you stand for may you rot in the deepest crevices of he'll for all eternity! Fuuuuuck

Fuck windows. Fuck windows and their stupid old OS.

Sure. I want advertisements on my start menu.

Nope, don't mind getting a vague description of some update and having to wait to restart my machine. Don't need to know what your changing.

What better way to upgrade an OS than to DL 6 gb of stuff that's probably mostly unchanged code.

Bing. I'll take 2 please.

How come stuff on mac and linux is always different than the way windows does it? Fuck those OSes! Visual Studio is only like a 50 gig install and I can develop iOS apps on it... plus it has C# AND F#.

No viruses with windows defender. I upload my personal files so MS can scan them just to be safe thou.

I fucking hate stupid accountants!

Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.

First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!

They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.

Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!

I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.

I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!

1) Remove kernel linux
2) Change kernel to linux-zen
3) Make init ramdisk
4) Everythings great -> hit reboot
5) Stuck at Grub
Me: Fuck.. Forgot to update grub config.
(Lesson : RTFM first.)

* Sending "less" data
* Number of ads won't change

Intern at Microsoft: Should I rephrase the messages so that it becomes a little bit subtle?
CTO(or whoever the fuck is in charge of rolling out windows update): Let it be direct and on the nose. Fuck this shit.

(Edit): Always forget to attach the image.

Fuck you apple, and fuck your god damn shitty documentation.

Working with NFC enabled passes, their documentation says "payload max is 64 bytes"

What they ACTUALLY fucking mean is 64 ascii characters.

Also, the way they handle date time formats is fucked. They say they support W3C formats (iso) but what they actually mean is, they support a half assed version of a subset of it.

I told their chief engineer over a phone call and his response;

"I agree, our documentation is lacking"... HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING UPDATE IT!

Also, how they handle json is just bad.

Update?! Fuck windows.

While playing Tower Unite, i spammed my spacebar.
Windows opened a window that i confirmed that something by spamming my spacebar.

It's a stupid windows 7 update.
Thank's windows..........

I just don't get my coworkers. They tweak designs, they tweak functionality, but no task is made.

They just simply update designs in Figma, without notifying anyone or just msg me on Slack what to change...

How the fuck do you guarantee that all those tweaks will get reflected to the app? How do you guarantee I won't forget? How do you guarantee QA will test your stupid tweaks?

I love Unix, Linux all that shit (macOS can fuck off though). But why WHY WHY does every pissing update have to break something?! Guys I need fucking networking, not even intertubes just basic networking.

Anyway, I've come up with a solution. It is quicker for me to install a new OS and restore files from backup than to fix it, so that's what I do.

Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.

Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.

May I never go back into the office again.

#thoughtsandprayers

The solution to a long running bug hit me while I was ironing my shirt today. I took to my heels running upstairs to make the update on my PC and with my haste provoked a shock in the living room causing everyone to run after me.

Finally I got to my PC ignoring the puzzled crowd behind me. Turned it on, launched my VS and was about to make the update when my dad from behind patted my shoulder:

Dad: Hey, what made you ran that way? You got us all scared.
Me: * short gibberish explanation *
Dad: Next time be cautious of the people around you.
Me: * apologized to everyone *

Now back to my PC:
VS Code: (⊙_⊙)
Me: (⊙_⊙)
VS Code: (⊙_⊙)
Me: (⊙_⊙)

ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ Fuck I forgot the code. I forgot the fucking code!
Everyone back in the room... Me still screaming *fuck*

I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.

How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Same goes for you steam.

Fuck you Windows 10! You said you won't update automatically!

status update on the codebox IDE revival project:

WHY THE FUCK DOES PTY.JS REFUSING TO BUILD? YOU IMPREGNATED TWAT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T BUILD RIGHT NOW IM GONNA FUCKING DEPRECATE YOU AND REPLACE YOU WITH XTERM

Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.

Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.

I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.

And there is no unit test or spec doc.

Fuck me dead

FUUUUuuuuuuu....
No, just no! I said I don't want you restart right now! Or ever! Dafaq duuude!? I thought we had a deal?! You don't update, I don't rant about you!? Well fuck you too!! Deal's off! I hate you, Loki, I hate you!! Stop restarting & updating when I'm tryin to relax & watch series!!

Decide to update main apache server before going on a date with my girlfriend, and I somehow fuck it and the server up. She is here in 20 minutes, and the entire site is down. FML

FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WINDOWS, WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TASK BAR DOES NOT HIDE AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN IT WAS WORKING? I GO TO SETTINGS TO TURN IT OFF AND BACK AGAIN AND NOTHING HAPPENS. RESTART AND A GOD DAMN UPDATE STARTS.

Out of the blue this morning... little spaced out.

Open terminal. Navigate to my project.

$ svn update
Command 'svn' not found, but can be installed with:
sudo apt install subversion

The fuck is wrong with me? I haven't used svn in like a solid 10 years. Old habits die hard I guess.

So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!

MOTHERFUCKING PROGUARD with all your fucking flags

-keep my ass
-dontwarn my balls
-dontshrink my asshole

FUCK YOU for all the hours I have to spend figuring out how to make you happy whenever I update guava or any other damn library GO FUCK YOURSELF

:)

- Dual boot to windows.
- Do some stuff.
- 2% Battery left.
- Alright, shutdown.
- Windows prepare to update.
Me: Fuck... forgot about Creator update.
(Run boy run -> to the AC adapter)
(Freeze windows for too long....)
(Mostly use Arch)

<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio

Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..

Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC

To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed

Fix your shit ms

</rant>

Microsoft added a new feature to windows 10. With the last update i did last week, you are able to put a filter over your screen... I accidentally pressed win+ctrl+c and everything turned into gray. It took me an hour to find the solution... Who the fuck created this hotkey?

WHY THE FUCK DID MICROSOFT INSTALL A NEW KEYBOARD LAYOUT AFTER THE LAST WINDOWS 10 UPDATE AND IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO REMOVE IT?! fuck it for fucks sake

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

Boss: Where should i put this piece of code so the android app will work correctly?
Me: Maybe here and we run some tests.
Boss: What? You built the app so you have to know where I should write the code for the endpoint and your app will work. No time for tests. And no update.

Fuck you boss.

Android, please fuck off. I cant install/update apps because i don't have enough space. So 1gb of free memory is not enough for a 10mb app?

This is my 3rd android phone, and I've had the same issues on all of them.

Probably getting a iPhone 7. Sad, i know :(

Windows FUCK you, you had one job, one fucking job to update it and you ruined it.
I trusted you even though everybody said don't.
I didnt remove you i dual booted you when everybody said FUCK windows.
I had my data.
I had games.
And you FUCKING ruined it.
And listen:

FUCK WINDOWS. I am switching to linux!

windows update bricked my touchpad.
rebooting bricked my keyboards.
reinstalling windows fixed my keyboards but not my touchpad.

this has been going for a week now.
i'm moving back to linux. maybe i'll try arch this time around.

fuck you microsoft.

ps: my touchpad seems to be permanently bricked.

update : love my new job... but, holly crap the sharepoint environment is a cluster fuck... guess who has to fix it... -!-

Me: flutter upgrade
*15 minutes later*
Me: cool all done!
Me: flutter run
Flutter: gotta redownload that successfully installed update all over again because fuck you!

*cries in corner*

When the fuck did Mac OS start updating without any notification?!

I was in the middle of some work and suddenly the screen goes black and system starts updating.

I thought this was a Windows only thing!

WTF?!!!!

how i feel every Windows 10 update: WHAT THE FUCK WINDOWS 10 WHAT THE F U C K

Well that is just fucking lovely!

- Sleep
- Update and shutdown
- Update and restart
*presses power button*
Windows: oh fuck.

Update on the bank I’m working for: their security is shit and the way they manage customer data and credentials is sickening. On top of it all, there’s about 10 windows XP computers still online not to mention the ATM is running Windows XP. What the flying fuck.

There’s a new macOS update..
-install now
-install later

Me: install now..

Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. please accept our new GPL..

Me: fair enough.. accept GPL..

OS again: Hi blah blah, same message..

Me: ok I’ll try „do it later“..

Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. GPL..

Me: go fuck your self, fuck your overpriced hardware, go guck your software that’s way worse than it was 5 years ago, go fuck YOU!!!

OS: I know I suck, but we don’t Care. So please accept our new GPL.

Thanks apple for becoming what Microsoft was 10 years ago..,

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I remember it was Friday, 30 minutes before leaving the office when suddenly someone from the upper management directly asked for my help to mass update something as it is important. By that time our CMS is not capable of doing this so I had to do it straight in the live database.

It was an update query and I decided to type the query in notepad first. when i pasted it in the terminal i didn't noticed i missed the "where" part so i mass updated the status of all our records dating 3 years back.

fuck.. please take note it was on a Friday night.

Last night: Wow, I just finished that massive feature and I still get some time left! Why not play something?!

Oh crap, this game is so cool but my video card drivers needs an update (AMD Radeon on a Fedora system).

The proprietary drivers don't run on this version of Xorg server... Fine, let's search for some solutions online and... Hey! Found it! Let's see: downgrade Xorg, download the driver, patch it for your kernel version...

Did I just fucked my display? Oh yeah... Let's try to fix it........

Fuck...

5am: Finally got it all working perfectly again... Fuck this game, I hate it!

Hey Code-tards,

We're announcing a new update to our software `FUCK YOU` to include a new 'feature' no one asked and would give a FLYING FUCK about, but we were sitting on our MOTHERFUCKING ASSES and had to justify our salaries somehow.

So this new feature really just makes your life horrible by taking away or breaking all useful features you were PERFECTLY HAPPY with before, but FUCK YOU if you aren't happy with it and don't throw half of your salary our way every month.

Remember our library you were perfectly OK with, that u integrated in your codebase? DEPRECATED from this second onwards. WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU ! That's WHY.

Oh yeah, and one last thing before we make your life a living hellhole, give us your SSN, credit card(s) and mortgage payments to us, you money-hungry CUNT. Haven't you heard the phrase already? YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY.

Me: "Sweet new Xcode update"
Me: "I'm sure they fixed all the bugs"
*starts download*
Xcode: "Want to upgrade to the latest Swift syntax?"
Me:
*clicks yes*
Me:
Me: "Fuck it, next release is 'fully rewritten from the ground up'"

Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.

As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.

Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.

Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.

The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking."

Fuck me. I have to update an Android app I have built 2 years ago. So much have changed, I need to update pretty much every dependency I have and no library seems to compile with the latest Android SDK yet.

I feel like Dr. Strange living the 14,000,605 possibilities when trying different library versions.

It's probably easier to rewrite everything. Now in Kotlin.

This is not something new but I want to say it loud again.

With all my heart, fuck you internet explorer. Windows should release a FORCED update (sorry for that) and remove it from every fucking version of windows and antivirus programs should detect it as a virus. It should be removed from existence and browser lists and also saying its name should be crime. Also, please remove it and any releated memories with it from our brains.
Thanks.

Update came for the cpu thingies. Seems to be fixed because i cant access the cpu registers like before. But damn son it slows the pc down, fuck.

Thinking about switching to a ryzen3.

Dear my school app developer,
.
I'd like to say FUCK YOU! update your app before asking money from me.

Fuck windows update. Fuck Microsoft for sending daily updates. Fuck everything about windows update. Fuck bill gates. And again fuck windows update

Noticed how contrast between the active and inactive arrows in the new chrome update is so low that you can hardly make out if it's clickable or not?

Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.

I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.

Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.

So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.

So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.

So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?

And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.

It's technically impossible for this update not to fuck everything up.

Oh, I use Arch Linux btw.

Okay, we fucking get it guys, you wish that you'd get changelogs with every app update and they'd tell you everything and blah blah blah.
Fuck off
We're the only people who even check, it's not worth the effort. Unless a major feature was added or a well known bug was fixed, the "fixed bugs" is more than enough for the general public.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCJKKK OOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF (wasted hours why im being redirected to 404 when trying to access a route thats being guarded (u need to login first to access it) only to find out i changed /login into /auth/login and forgot to update this bs into the guard so the guard was redirecting to /login which indeed doesnt exist and is a 404 instead of redirecting to /auth/login)

This is such a fucking dumb bug I have to take a fucking break im going outside for a jog and then intense home workout to unfuck my mind

fuck oracle. fuck my company.

Using Oracle VM Manager/Servers to host Oracle Phone transfer solution without support coverage from Oracle.

Requiring Unix sysadmins to update to latest release and not telling that we do not have coverage from Oracle if anything goes wrong.

Gues what.. We've updated to Oracle VM Manager/Server 3.4.5 which was released this year and it uses fucking XEN hypervisor version 4.4.4 which has been deprecated and dead since who knows when. Latest release of XEN is 4.11. But that is not an issue, whatever, enterprise, legacy software, etc.

This fucking update introduced memory leak on the hypervisor which has been reported as per xen 4.4.4 history. Furthermore, we have no support from Oracle which means that I have to dig through mailing lists and limited information on the net since oracle has freakin support wall on nearly each of the major bugs found on that shitty software.

I have no idea whether any newer version of xen will work with that old Oracle Linux kernel or not.

Furthermore, Oracle provided great documentation on how to rollback the fcking update. Reinstall the hypervisor. Riiiight. XEN does not have export/import feature.

eh

*visual studio installer needs to update*

Oh for fuck sake, who's bloody idea was that...

The stand-in for the person who normally runs the daily standup meeting (who is currently on leave) asked me today in front of everyone in standup if I've updated my notes. Fuck. Off.

So, I decided to be cheeky and add a comment to the daily standup notes automation task in our project management software that we should just include all of the recipients of the daily status update email in our standup meeting every morning, this way we don't require a OneNote space to update as well as an email.

If they tell me that's not the purpose of standup, then hopefully someone will realise what they've been doing all along.

Let's see how that goes lmao.

Spotify app for Android got an update. In the old version, there was a dedicated button to show the queue so you could reorder it. Now, it's hidden in a menu and takes 2 clicks to see you queue. What the fuck guys.

Why the fuck are you making me put in my email to look at a computer desk? I saw an ad and was curious about it and the price, so I clicked the ad. I don't give a shit and don't actually plan to buy anything, just let me look asshats.

Shit like this is why you have an email inbox with 650,087 emails about a fucking privacy policy update.

I genuinely want to murder the degenerate retard working at chrome how decided that extensions are allowed to open popups whenever they update.

NO ADBLOCKPLUS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR NEW UPDATE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BLOCK YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS CUNT

You see this fucker? Those are packets sent to Apple, what are those packets? The update of an app I am working on.

Makes me wonder why the fuck does upload disconnect out of a sudden when there is not a single issue in the network I'm connected to!

Apple get your shit together cuz an update process takes more time than developing the damn app!

YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!

THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!

I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!

Forget Windows update. What the fuck is this?

Custom image format update:

Currently converts a 12KB PNG image into 172KB BIN file, now to compress the fuck out of it!

Update: Fuck should I use a buffer or simple binary data for file structure manipulation....

Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?

What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?

In the past months, every week or so, boss asked me:
"So what are you doing now?"

My typical reply was "finished thing and then gonna move on the oculus project to update that"
To which, he always replied with: "Nah, leave it, focus on all the other platforms"

Today we have to send the Oculus version to a big client and yet nothing is updated because it never was a main thing to update.

I will surely fuck something's up on this app, but not gonna take the blame.

Fuck you Chrome Canary. You tell me to update and then keep crashing.

Well admittedly it is Canary :o

My friends and I decided to have a match of HOMM6

So, I booted in Windows after almost 3 months and the first thing that it does is run into an update.

IT RESTARTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

Had to wait nearly 1 hour until the update finished

My friends started without me X(

FUCK YOU WINDOWS

Fuck fuck fuck! Vps doesn't boot after kernel update and has kernel panic..... Fml

When you flash a BIOS update and find out that your OS ain't booting.

Motherfucking Android Fucking Studio. Just told me there is an update for the fucking simulator, and after the update it refuses to even sync. Fuck!

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.

FUCK YOU SYNOLOGY

Fuck you for breaking all my custom shit.
Fuck you for wiping almost everything (but leaving random stuff) every major update.
Fuck you for switching from upstart to systemd 219 (RELEASED MARCH 2015!).
Fuck you for using an outdated kernel.
Fuck you for having the weirdest shittiest preconfigured settings.
Fuck you for using your own custom package format.
Fuck you for being so utterly broken.
Fuck you for making me work 10 hours just to get everything back up and running the way it was.

Fuck you from the bottom of my heart

Fuck Windows 10

Just fuck it

Another update, the audio won't play using the correct device again.

Says headphones, but plays through speakers, simple things like that every day. Now spend 30 min diagnosing why...

Just fuck it

Updated to Windows 10 1803 (April Update) and I noticed a little button appearing near the search box in the task bar. Turns out to be a new feature called Timeline. I open it and it shows some excel files I had opened some weeks before.
That's very coo... HOW THE FUCK DOES IT KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE I EVEN UPDATED WINDOWS???
Richard Stallman is right..

I know, many devs swear on using *NIX based OSes or macOS but really... Windows 10 is very good, never had a single issue or BSOD. If u have issues regarding update reboots then just disable automatic reboots,damn! One single " fuck Windows, killed my workflow cause of updates. Installing Linux know cause I'm too dumb to change a simple setting." >_> and I can play ALL my games... NATIVE!

So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.

You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.

And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.

I hate the Android update policy as hell. Why do they have to publish a new version each year? Why not a LTS version which is supported for 5 years? Barely no manufacturer is able to change their own interface aiming to adept it to the new Android version. Windows isn't publishing a new os every year. They just update it regularly to implement new functions. Ubuntu is doing the same.
WHY THE FUCK NOT ANDROID?
My HTC A9 was the first with Android 6. I didn't get Android 7 until now?! I paid a lot of money for this peace of shit! And I was granted an update for Android 7. So where is it HTC? Where?!?!?!?!?!?!

Me: Alright, new week, back from vacation fully rested and focused, lets get productive.

Apple(safari 10.3 update): Fuck you.

Basically the change log was:
*fixed critical security bug.
*added more bugs to fix later.

Well fuck you too safari... You disgust me.

The least the fucking imbeciles, or monkeys, behind safari can do is add a fucking css prefix. For fucks sake.

OK I'll wait!

Like I don't have anything urgent to do. 🤔

Dependencies and backwards compatibility

Can shit just fucking work instead of me having to download old shit that doesnt fucking work on the newest version of the OS that I use because the fucking program can't use new dependencies?

I'm looking at you you fucks that don't want to update to VS 2019 and force me to uninstall it to download VS 2015, its 4 years old for fuck sake!

So it’s 14:43 in the UK and this has happened. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!

I fucking HATE our hospitals EHR.... They pushed out an update that stripped user group permissions, corrupted files, redirected paths, and who the fuck knows what else. And the update description.... “Update version: XX.XXX” FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Update to my last rant:

The best teammates are those who don't give a fuck about the project until one week before the deadline and then have the fucking audacity to tell you what to do.

Fuck... This is not how I wanted my Saturday to go..

My Mac restart after update took more than an hour (check my previous rant), went into not responding mode, then got aborted, ultimately ending up with a corrupted disc. Now, not booting up at all...

Into recovery mode now and trying all other options..

Hope my time machine did a good job, else this is gonna be a heartbreaking day !!!

Postpone this one last time!???
The fuck you think you are Windows.