Probably gonna quit dev and get a job outdoors. Dev sucks dick, is too boring, and it is too political for me

Thinking about going full bum and just hike national parks until I die. No job, no possessions, no electronics, no hell, no heaven, no nothing - just living totally in nature - and if I die? So what 🤷‍♂️

Best advice on how to escape web dev?

Death to America

I think I might have the 👏 fml 🤦‍♂️

Sometimes when people treat me like a human being I just want to tie them up and push them down so they’re on all fours and just whip them and make them cry

Come get dis dick

Sometimes, I feel like the guy in Swordfish who is getting head but also has to hack into a system in 60 seconds or else he dies. The question is: would you just let yourself enjoy those 60 seconds and die? Bc holy shit, that’s a really nice way to go out.

Just a quick PSA:

If you are going to take (more) drugs, consider what types of drugs you already have in your system and look up any dangerous interactions. Almost called the ambulance on myself today ☺️

“What’s your 10 year plan look like?”

“Probably buy a home and try to get at least 5 hugs”

Why does this week fucking suck sooooo much

Simple hack to cure depression:

1. Toast a couple of fat ass slices of homemade sourdough bread
2. Slather it with a large amount of butter
3. Top it off with some of your mom’s homemade jam
4. Compliment it with a nice cup o’ joe

Sadness gone 🤌🤌🤌

This is a message to all “yes man” developers:

Yeah… we just got in that the client has new requirements for you to complete by EOD:

1. Go to the gas station
2. Buy two gallons of gasoline
3. Order two 2 ft long dildos online
4. Go to the center of your town
5. Scream “fuck me corporate daddy, I’ll do anything for you” 100 times
6. Shove one dildo into ur ass and one in your mouth
7. Pour gasoline all over yourself
8. Light yourself on fire
9. Contemplate what little self respect you have for yourself and the rest of the world…

You will never win in the unnatural by being passive. By being morally sound, you will only win at the things that require you being morally sound. This industry is not morally sound. This industry is all about who can make the most money. No one gives a fuck about you. You have to be evil sometimes. The only way you can protect yourselves, your subordinates, and your coworkers is to compete by any means possible. You can only protect them by breaking some eggs. That’s the only way to win here. You won’t get anywhere by being a nice person to everyone in this field.

THATS WHY A BUNCH OF US ARE TRYING TO LEAVE!!

My innocent-pretending “I din do nuffing” ass after destroying multiple managers careers by manipulating the company opinion against them bc they try to play that scumbag move first but I’m just more conniving, powerful, and just a fucking beast.

I don’t give a single fuck about your status. I don’t care if you are the CEO, CTO, President, etc… I will tell you when you are wrong. And if you try to fire me, I’ll come to your house and kill your family bitch

Exclude Apple from any web standard influence in the future. They clearly don’t give a fuck about the web from the evidence of them purposefully downgrading their PWA features just because they are salty that the EU forced them to allow other non-WebKit browsers on iOS. What a bunch of pieces of shit. Fuck Apple for being a fucking corporate spoiled child.

Isopod of the day

They must be losing good developers at Google, because all of their shit is slowing devolving into hot garbage. Bug ridden pieces of shit. I wouldn’t even pay to use anything of theirs anymore - you are probably better off somewhere else…

Give me your best motivation to keep trying and to not give up

Some of yall really need to learn git and learn how to communicate with other people and fucking be considerate human beings who are not fucking all leaches off society but goddamnit we can’t have nice things. All it’s gotta be is ruthless assholes in this industry I’m fucking so done I hate everyone in dev and I want out I FUCKING WANT OUT PLEASE GOD KILL ME

Some journaling sorry. But hey I’m extremely drunk. Feel like I don’t care anymore if I die bc I have already lived an experience of being born. Also being raised in a nice childhood. I have nothing to complain about. Just made out with a goth chick. She’s so nice I hope she’s ok. Anymore I don’t care about sex but just crave closeness. Just someone who understands who we can share love with each other without bounds. I be ballin tho. By the end of the day, I hope to own some properties and a business on my own.

Hey all - do you think web development will be around in 10 years from now? And if so, how do you think it will change?

If ur sparring someone, don’t immediately go fucking apeshit. Feel it out and calm down so you don’t absolutely fuck up someone who is a beginner or trying to slowly recover back into it. Now I can’t fucking walk, thanks asshole 😑.

Anger mode for February.

Is it just me or is every app out there just a giant piece of shit riddled with bugs now? Did every company fire all their good devs and testers? It’s all fucking trash

Sid, given that you talk about your peeperniener so much, the penis inspection department has chosen you for a monthly random inspection. Please post a picture of ur dong in this comment section. Thank you.

Hey, if your repo shows up as a popular search result, and there hasn’t been an update to it in 7 years, AND it has more than 200 open issues, AND it’s a buggy piece of shit… DELETE THAT SHIT ASSHOLE. It’s a disservice to let people use your fucking stupid abomination that was relevant years ago. Swallow your pride and remove it from the internet.

Devrant Drunk Quiz - 3 - 5 points

What do aviophile and Alexander and b2plane and SidTheItGuy have in common?

Is it…

A) They are holocaust deniers
A) They sleep and kiss on anime pillows
A) They are active members of the Westboro Baptist Church

Or…

A) They suck each other off in the bar stall but condom on so not gay

Devrant Jeopardy - 2 - 10 points

This data structure, whose name was inspired by a town of good winds, was introduced as a competitive algorithm that sacrifices some memory for a timely, “inception”-like representation.