Programming in the middle of the woods and getting smashed by a running buck deer chasing a doe during mating season

Job posts that look for experience in everything! Experience in large scale enterprise kubernetes bullshit! What the fuck is kubernetes, a Greek god?? 4 plus years experience in aws! 5 years experience in cloud infrastructure scaling! 5 years experience in working with stakeholders and collaborating UX design! 5 years experience in React Native! 5 years experience in noSQL! 5 years experience in firebase! 5 years experience in graphics design! 5 years experience in node CSS! And every javascript known to mankind! I would love to meet this legendary developer that every company seems to want! Sick of these ads that ask for god level experience in every development role or tech. It’s like they’re hiring one developer to write their entire system from scratch which would obviously require godly expertise in front back and every fucking end there is to fucking build

Deleting code and cutting out half the loc in a file and eliminating complexity is the best feeling in the world 😎

It all started when I was driving and wasn’t paying attention to the road bc I was trying to think of a solution to a coding issue when all the sudden a deer jumps in front of my car! My car is smashed and I call road service. They send someone out and as I wait I decide to do a little coding while in the middle of the woods with my laptop. I sit down and the same deer (remarkably un phased) charges me and kicks my laptop like a football. I suffered not one but two impacts from coding...

Off the leetcode charts mfuckers!! See how the fastest on the chart is 116 ms? Lol

Luck, grinding leetcode and using the hottest buzzwords in your resume to spark recruiters. Or having Yale in your resume in spite of your major being deer fecal biology and a minor in chemical analysis of deer semen (with doctoral experience in manual extraction of semenical fluid from bucks during rutting season...and no it doesn’t count as beastiality bc it’s science and it’s an Ivy League study so it’s a-ok)

A deer

Cant think of one! Offices suck

BIRD OF THE DAY (sooo damn cuuuteee)

Might be late but Zelda Breath of tne Wild is one of the best damn games I ever played in years!!

“Practical” tech interviews for senior roles (from my experience): DONT worry! We won’t give you any “leetcode” problems!! Instead, we’re giving you only 40 minutes to do this huge laundry list of tasks that are simple but hella time consuming. We want to see how fast you can type. So you have 40 minutes to write a mini app while we take note of the shit ton of simple errors you make due to the time crunch as your fingers burn through the keyboard and then wonder why no one can pass our “simple” tech exam!!!!

DAMMIT!! the only tech exams I enjoy are ones that involve refactoring existing code bc everything else is a fucking speed test! I’d also MUCH RATHER take these exams WITHOUT someone there taking notes like I’m a fucking lab monkey!

Resist the urge to post about deer on devrant.

CHICKENS OF DAY

Close friend passed on

Why are all these AI generated commercials so fucking damn scary? It’s like they start off relatively harmless but then over time everyone randomly starts turning into these nightmare inducing monstrosities. Are they really created by AI or is some troll on acid putting this freakish crap out there and following a trend of “hey this nonsensical nightmare inducing video editing job is from an AI, it’s future, man”

Late adapter to chatGPT but damn does that thing save me hours of googling shit or writing out boilerplate. I NEVER use it to solve specific non general problems but for writing tedious enums or getting me out of analysis paralysis gpt is my fucking man. And yeah I’m a century late, might as well praise high speed internet while at it lol

Best tool is IntelliJ! As for the worst tool, that would be the deer saddle. I couldn’t find a deer to strap it on so i could ride it. Sigh...you have no idea how badly I wanted to be a deerboy

Applied to an AI startup, offering 100 bucks if I pass their coding challenge…hopefully just an algo question and not a damn jira ticket

Am I the only one who likes writing tests? lol. It’s kinda relaxing and rewarding

Force myself to learn more modern frameworks without getting horribly bored due to how mentally un stimulating they are

Imagine some actually tag @TeachMeCode for learning how to code

Had a nightmare that scared the LIVING SHIT out of me for some reason where a DoorDash delivery guy was using a new DoorDash feature where drivers rate customers and are allowed to attack their homes. He gave me a shit review for ordering Taco Bell and started throwing mexican food at my window and holy shit I woke up TERRIFIED. It took me a long ass time to recover from the shakes. I have no idea why it scared me this damn bad, it’s not like I was chased by a zombie with a rocket launcher 😂😂

I brought this up before, but what’s with these claims of getting a job after learning to code for a few months? Can this profession be learned that quickly? Am I just dumb for taking years to get my degrees and land a great paying development job and gaining skills and experience to become proficient? My self esteem takes a huge hit after reading these things but what they leave out is whether these jobs are internships, how much they were paid, where they worked etc.

Sorry, just a little incoherent and cranky bc i slept for just a few hours due to a toothache. I’m not blaming these people at all, I’m just kinda questioning my abilities atm

OMG didn’t take adhd meds today, brain is going crazy. So many things I should be doing but can’t decide which bc I’m mentally pulled in a million directions

Jar of the day! He knows what’s goin on at Redmayne Castle!

I have no specialty, I’m a total generalist. Frameworks and buzzword tech is only useful to me if it makes it easier to code without extraneous syntax, or if I need to know it for the job! Recruiters hate hearing this, they want someone who lives, eats and breathes react.js! They want someone with PASSION for easier (or harder due to shit design) ways to do easy things bc ITS FUTURE! React separates true developers from code monkeys! You never heard of Deno? Serverless NOSQL? BAH! Back to your cave, you bickering caveman! MY DIVINE RECRUITINESS DEEMETH THEE UNWORTHY FOUL WORM

Worst: lost my job due to the pandemic, and struggling to get interviews! Yes in spite of how well i did at my previous role (and please don’t give me crap about how they never would’ve laid me off if I was good, you’re just saying that to stroke your golden e-penis, you fucking reptilian scumbag) and with all that “experience” on my resume, I’m apparently not smart enough for these companies to even bother with. Yes if i kept failing tests a blind monkey would pass i would question my ability but that’s not the case. Yes my stack may be old but learning these newer tech stacks that recruiters love is a total cakewalk for me! They do so much cognitive lifting for you that I worry that if I don’t practice lower level stuff my mental capacity will diminish which is why I still solve leetcode problems lol.
Let’s not forget, I lost my dog this year too ☹️

bear

My experience looking up CSS issues comes down to millions of stack overflow solutions I don’t understand that never work for me

Cyberpunk 2077 on PS4 and Xbox one

How to code like a deer

Screw it, I want to be a power ranger! Was facing a tough boss in resident evil 8 and a friend played the power ranger theme and damn that felt great! especially since I was fighting a frog like creature who sounded like one of the monsters from an earlier season who was also frog like and ate the power rangers whole. Yes I used to wear power rangers pjs when I was 10. Lol

Sigh that melancholic feeling of being invited to a final 2-3 hr tech interview only to be denied afterwords. I feel so hopeless

Should I eat this one month expired ham and cheese hot pocket? It’s been frozen

!dev I have mice in my apartment! Is there a way to get them out without killing them?

Have a frozen pizza that expired in May, is it safe to eat?

Zzzquil gives me vivid nightmares…!! Had a rather traumatic one the other night

I felt like a Dev Hero after losing both my laptop and my car from the deer encounter. Really needed that delicious sandwich from Dev’s Kosher Deli to unwind from the stressful event. The pickles are to die for...

TeachMeCode here, I searched duck in my phones emoji db and found this: 🤬 Someone at Apple must REALLY hate ducks with a passion

I want to hug one lol

A Ninja Turtles Tiger Handheld game!

Can’t stop laughing at be word “chocolate muffle” 🤣🤣!! OMG IM fucking DYING

Meetings about my dreams to be a deerboy...damn assshole rat sensei wants me to practice “discipline” but screw that rat, i want to eat pizza! Pizza time dude!

I want to go giraffe riding 🦒🦒

What heartless soulless lizard invented one way interviews??? Fuck I keep getting these!!! 🤬🤬

Something involving dogs, deer, or sky

WHO’S IDEA WAS IT TO CONVERT HTML DATA ATTRIBUTES TO LOWERCASE! I spent SO MUCH TIME on a bug because of this!!! Fuck it’s all about knowing the nuances and tricks of the little web devil who lives in every browser

Reddit-where everyone is better than you and you’re below average in everything you do.

chatgpt in a very polite or pc way called me an idiot 😂😂😂😂

A company wants to conduct an interview via email exchange. Is this a red flag?

Should I eat this questionable potato that has a few purple spots? I cooked the shit out of it

So TIL chat-gpt can’t COUNT!! Since my eyes suck I asked it to return the last 24 chars of a string just as a quick sanity check and it gives me back a substring of only five. Went back to correct and it returns a substring of 7 😫😫😫😫!!!!

I gave up 🤬. It always fails basic calculations for some fucked reason

!rant felt like a zombie all of last week and today, damn this brain fog. All I want to do is sleep lol. Had to revise my code countless times

Dragon’s Dogma 2 is Elden Ring lite and i fucking LOVE it! It’s Elden ring combined with that classic action rpg vibe I grew up with! And the climb the enemy feature is damn SICK (nothing screams being a fucking man like climbing the back of a huge beast and plunging a sword down its skull)

Here’s to sticking a sword up an ogre’s ass!

Mmmmm hangover food….eggs and sausage, home fries, fresh fruit

Could someone help me find a good NON BORING tutorial on Redux? By non boring I mean one that’s more active, interactive and not a boring snooze fest watching the instructor build the project while giving vague explanations of concepts. And I could always google but most courses aren’t free and i can’t shell out only to realize the unlocked content isn’t what I want

I’m in between jobs due to the pandemic and need structure in my life. I have ADHD and no structure makes me a sad panda. I’m desparately grasping for some online educational content bc my previous tech stacks are a little old and need to keep up with the modern stacks so I can get a new role and have a structured regimen that school gives.

Unfortunately most of these courses are just boring as shit video lectures where you watch the developer code! WTF!! They’re advertised as “you will code a real world application” and 🤣you get a certificate at the end!

So if anyone took a full stack curriculum using modern stacks like the MEAN stack where they actually developed something themselves, post it here please?

ANYONE WHO ANSWERS IS A HERO! Im having a CSS issue and yes I’m a CSS noob! I have a flex box with two columns of data and I want the divs to stack when the screen gets narrow enough. The issue is that I want them to stack ordered by a data attribute. I wrote a media query like this

@media (max-width: 767 px) {
.row { flex-direction: column};
.row div { order: attr(data-ordinal) };
}

I want each of the divs to be ordered by the data-ordinal attribute (a number) when the screen gets at most 767 pixels or on a mobile device. I was banging my head for a while on this assshole. Can anyone find the issue here? I may have left out a few details but does this CSS at least LOOK ok? I’m new to media queries. PS sorry, whats the bot that does the highlighting? I forgot it, but luckily this is simple enough to read

Dreamt I was in a mansion being attacked by zombie Big Bird. I simply took him down by repeated headshots with a handgun lol

!dev fuck the asshole who designed the final boss in resident evil village! Shooting this bitch is like shooting a fly off an elephant’s ass!!!! I’m about to fucking pull the disk out of the fucking console and smash it in shards!!! Playing hardcore difficulty btw. Fucking boss needs to be patched!!!!

Dress up like godzilla and stroke my penis with my reptilian arm! Then take a dino shit in the middle of the floor bc godzilla loves burritos more than he loves water towers! Lol godzilla loves Tito’s vodka more than anything lol I’m so glad someone here suggested it

Dizzy spells!

Help, again! I’m doing a simple ajax using jquery’s load function but for some reason it results in a refresh of the entire page! There’s no callback or any other values being passed, it’s just the url to the html file. Btw even if i reduce the html file I’m sucking in to an innocent <p>hello</p>, it still fucks up and the page reloads so it’s not like there’s some bad javascipt going off. This is part of a project being done using codesandbox, so I’m not sure if there’s something going on with it. This is my first ajax in this environment

Anyone who beat elden ring is a fucking immortal being! I keep getting my ass handed to me and it’s only the beginning. I can’t imagine anyone pulling this game off

Nachos vs hotdogs-which is the bigger choking hazard?

So dead...worked out after long break...fatigue extreme...dont have energy to drive...lol.

These meatballs need a little more time...(BURNS HAND)..😱. What happens when you test food baked from a broken microwave. I went from the frozen tundra of the meatball to the fiery desert, and I only had to move an inch lol. Glad to be a single male so I can get drunk (not all the time, I stay fit) and microwave meatballs in my boxers without a care in the world

Raw egg ain’t that bad….

Anyone else digest coffee a little too quickly? I tend to reap the benefits of caffeine (higher energy motivation and focus) for just a few minutes before I need to reload. This doesn’t always happen but when it does it’s annoying as hell

Anyone with ADHD on meds here? Current insurance stopped supporting brand name adderall and today I took this Amphetamine Salts cap and it’s actually working a bit better. I wonder if it’s just in my head or is it actually different from brand name outside not being brand name

What’s these random ass obituaries I keep seeing in my recommended google search list??? I click them thinking it’s a celebrity or athlete I don’t know but it turns out to be some random guy in Missouri

zzzquil.

Foe of the day…lol

Ach I hath slain vile beast who starveth me lands
🐇🐇

cookie monster

HELP! Stack overflow did not take this question! I want to learn code! How can I learn code if they won’t help! Question was:

CS 101 take home assignment question 1: write a function to determine if an array of numbers is sorted. The function must return true if it is, false otherwise.

@Fast-Nop , @Root , @theabbie please. I have a week to get this question done 😭

Has anyone actually seen a monster take a shit in Dragons Dogma 2?? I found this after defeating a chimera

We need a sequel to Shaq Fu.

Coffee and oatmeal

Mmmmm Tito’s and donuts

Im not “senior”, but I’m maybe middle level but anyway....
Learn good object oriented design!
Have a decent computer science background!
If you don’t know a certain framework or “tech”, google it and learn it quickly! Most of the “hot new techs” can be learned rather quickly by anyone who has a strong foundational understanding of programming and computer science. Its not sacred knowledge reserved to the chosen software prophets lol

Does anyone here play elden ring?

Anyone here have experience with bountysource or doing code bounties to make a little extra? Bountysource seems interesting but the annoying thing is that you don’t know which ones are still active, and plus some seem to be more trouble than what they’re worth. Learning their codebase (at least the relevant stuff) and implementing a fix for 50 bucks? No way in hell

Sub Zero in MK 1 is absolute shit. I’m playing as him right now and I can barely win anything as this trash tier character

Any tips on getting contracts? I know this can be “googled” but maybe someone else out there has some interesting tips that don’t show up at the top of the search results. Im a full stack engineer in the US, mostly React, Node, MySQL

FUCK wolves in dragons dogma 2, biggest pain in the ass next to harpies. I’m a fighter class and can’t reach them when they dodge my short ass sword

I feel a burst of energy after eating macaroni salad 🤨….??

What are the best free spring framework tutorials? Baeldung seems promising but it’s too costly. The official docs delve into individual projects without fleshing out concepts which is a huge turnoff for me

eyes haven’t been the same since that long adhd meds fueled coding session last Monday. Flashes at the bottom rim that come and go are really annoying the shit out of me and freaking me out. I have an eye appt next Tuesday. Anyone else get these symptoms?

stab a giant ogre in the dick until he dies